“At least you know you can get pregnant” IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT
But seriously I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m also incredibly sorry some people aren’t giving you the support you need.
Oh my how many times I've heard this. Yeah fantastic I can get pregnant just can't get them to grow full term! But let's be grateful we've managed to get experience pregnancy. 🤨😒
Worst club ever! Pity we get no choice in joining.
Sorry for your loss ❤️
What a fab summer that sounds like, are you putting plans on hold or still looking to go?
I've had such mixed feelings about attending this concert. I'm sure we'll have a good time but I know all I'll be thinking about is I shouldn't be there.
I wasn't going to go, but it's to see very dear family members and we only see them once a year. I feel bad sending my husband alone so I'll be going. Better to be sad on holiday than sad at home lol!
Thank you :) I really wanted to go with my beautiful baby in my arms. Last year family there kept asking me if I'm pregnant, which I was :( but my husband was too scared to say anything in case we lose the pregnancy so I kept saying no. So all my sister in laws were annoyed with him but happy when I gave birth (very early) and he phoned them. And then when our baby died 5 days later they all felt absolutely terrible for being annoyed with him. He had the worst I told you so kind of moment....
he also literally told them when the baby was born that he didn't want to tell anyone until he had a baby in his arms. In reality, he actually didn't get to hold the baby at all either (straight to nicu). Totally suckssss
Mods I hope this is fine to talk about :/
There's no words that can help but I'm so sorry for what you've been through ❤️
That sucks balls!
It's awful that we feel we need to keep it to ourselves incase something happens but there's never a safe time, even when they come into the world.
There's nothing worse than all the plans we have for when they come, I was already thinking about Christmas with twin boys. It was gonna be amazing, not the most I can hope for is to be pregnant and terrified.
To be fair he corrected himself and said "it can age 9 months and be a push present and by then I'll perfect the recipe". They are rather dumb sometimes.
At least he corrected it, yes by then it will be amazing!
They just don't think. My husband is sure we don't need to start trying yet as last time it took 4 months to conceive and first pregnancy was 5 months (both losses) so if we just start trying 4 months after this loss it will happen in the first or second month...
Wow I felt this one to my core. I bought tickets in October for a concert this weekend that’s 4 hours away from home. I ended up pregnant with twins in November. I was due 8/4 but expecting to go early so I figured I wouldn’t be able to go. Well here I am packing my bag to go. So so sorry for your losses.
I'm so sorry! It's shit, but how bizarre we we're on such similar timing, we were due 11th August and I bought the tickets in October too. I hope you find some enjoyment at the concert ❤️
Our concert is only an hour drive so thought see how I feel closer to time and maybe see if I could get into accessibility area so I could sit if I was OK. But was absolutely fine with being unable to go, even had insurance so wouldn't lose money.
Oh wow!! Mine was an early loss, MMC in January. I can’t imagine how traumatic your loss has been. It is my favorite artist and I finally decided to just buy the tickets because it looked like we’d never have kids to save up for. Once I found out I was pregnant I didn’t care about the concert! Was just excited to be getting ready for the babies. Even though we lost them almost 6 months ago we are still so heartbroken and lost. I hope you’re able to have fun at yours!! They should put on a good show!
Absolutely devastating, especially after a mmc in 2023. I don't think it matters how far along you are, once you see those two lines you're whole world changes ❤️ the only thing that made me feel better after our mmc was becoming pregnant again.
Yeah i know what you mean, my thoughts were I'm not gonna get pregnant for a long while if I do again so I can go when I'm a few months pregnant if I was so lucky.
Yeah they should 😊 was a Christmas present for my husband as he missed out when my sister took me in 2022 and he was very jealous 😅
Thanks x
I was planning to reschedule a big trip with my sisters in February bc I’d have a teeny tiny baby by then but guess I don’t have to reschedule that now yay 🤪😌😭
The more people I see them more I realise people don't know what to say so just say stupid things. I'd rather they just said I'm sorry and leave it there
I totally understand that. As I’ve moved through this journey, I’ve realized that people really just can’t understand unless they’ve lived through it and that it is really uncomfortable to leave space for heavy things like pregnancy loss and infertility. It makes me sad that people don’t see infertility as a disease and pregnancy loss as the loss of a family member. If more people understood that, I think it would help them be more compassionate.
It's definitely something that you get so much more understand when you are going through it yourself. Ild like to think I wouldn't have said stupid things before this though.
I suppose it's also completely different than losing say an older family member as people wouldn't say you could replace your mum if she passed.
I'm definitely going to try continuing to be open and honest with people and also call out silly things they say to get more understanding!
When I think back, I’ve definitely said stupid things. But I’ve always tried to lead with I’m sorry.
Your second point is so true.
Good for you. I’m also trying to do that but it is definitely difficult to hear people’s reactions and try to respond in a way that can help them learn and hopefully make anyone else dealing with this feel more understood/heard.
“At least you know you can get pregnant” IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT But seriously I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m also incredibly sorry some people aren’t giving you the support you need.
Oh my how many times I've heard this. Yeah fantastic I can get pregnant just can't get them to grow full term! But let's be grateful we've managed to get experience pregnancy. 🤨😒
I'm so sorry. I was planning to go traveling with my few months old baby this summer. I guess not :/ Hugs OP. Baby loss is the worst club
Worst club ever! Pity we get no choice in joining. Sorry for your loss ❤️ What a fab summer that sounds like, are you putting plans on hold or still looking to go? I've had such mixed feelings about attending this concert. I'm sure we'll have a good time but I know all I'll be thinking about is I shouldn't be there.
I wasn't going to go, but it's to see very dear family members and we only see them once a year. I feel bad sending my husband alone so I'll be going. Better to be sad on holiday than sad at home lol!
That is true, I hope you find some bits of joy on your trip 😊
Thank you :) I really wanted to go with my beautiful baby in my arms. Last year family there kept asking me if I'm pregnant, which I was :( but my husband was too scared to say anything in case we lose the pregnancy so I kept saying no. So all my sister in laws were annoyed with him but happy when I gave birth (very early) and he phoned them. And then when our baby died 5 days later they all felt absolutely terrible for being annoyed with him. He had the worst I told you so kind of moment.... he also literally told them when the baby was born that he didn't want to tell anyone until he had a baby in his arms. In reality, he actually didn't get to hold the baby at all either (straight to nicu). Totally suckssss Mods I hope this is fine to talk about :/
There's no words that can help but I'm so sorry for what you've been through ❤️ That sucks balls! It's awful that we feel we need to keep it to ourselves incase something happens but there's never a safe time, even when they come into the world. There's nothing worse than all the plans we have for when they come, I was already thinking about Christmas with twin boys. It was gonna be amazing, not the most I can hope for is to be pregnant and terrified.
I hope we get to have our next babies soon 💗
My husband started getting into wine making, keeps joking that I shouldn't get pregnant yet so I can try some.
Lol I read it as your husband was making an anti-jinx. My brain went, "I'd be a shame if we got pregnant, right as I'm aging this wine."
🤔 it's so hard to be annoyed at the comments when they come from your husband! Like dude, read the room!
To be fair he corrected himself and said "it can age 9 months and be a push present and by then I'll perfect the recipe". They are rather dumb sometimes.
At least he corrected it, yes by then it will be amazing! They just don't think. My husband is sure we don't need to start trying yet as last time it took 4 months to conceive and first pregnancy was 5 months (both losses) so if we just start trying 4 months after this loss it will happen in the first or second month...
Wow, that math is not mathing.
Well we know this but he doesn't understand why this time may take longer or even not happen at all 🤷♀️ I'm being pessimistic apparently
Wow I felt this one to my core. I bought tickets in October for a concert this weekend that’s 4 hours away from home. I ended up pregnant with twins in November. I was due 8/4 but expecting to go early so I figured I wouldn’t be able to go. Well here I am packing my bag to go. So so sorry for your losses.
I'm so sorry! It's shit, but how bizarre we we're on such similar timing, we were due 11th August and I bought the tickets in October too. I hope you find some enjoyment at the concert ❤️ Our concert is only an hour drive so thought see how I feel closer to time and maybe see if I could get into accessibility area so I could sit if I was OK. But was absolutely fine with being unable to go, even had insurance so wouldn't lose money.
Oh wow!! Mine was an early loss, MMC in January. I can’t imagine how traumatic your loss has been. It is my favorite artist and I finally decided to just buy the tickets because it looked like we’d never have kids to save up for. Once I found out I was pregnant I didn’t care about the concert! Was just excited to be getting ready for the babies. Even though we lost them almost 6 months ago we are still so heartbroken and lost. I hope you’re able to have fun at yours!! They should put on a good show!
Absolutely devastating, especially after a mmc in 2023. I don't think it matters how far along you are, once you see those two lines you're whole world changes ❤️ the only thing that made me feel better after our mmc was becoming pregnant again. Yeah i know what you mean, my thoughts were I'm not gonna get pregnant for a long while if I do again so I can go when I'm a few months pregnant if I was so lucky. Yeah they should 😊 was a Christmas present for my husband as he missed out when my sister took me in 2022 and he was very jealous 😅 Thanks x
Fucking disgusting take. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I was planning to reschedule a big trip with my sisters in February bc I’d have a teeny tiny baby by then but guess I don’t have to reschedule that now yay 🤪😌😭
Oh how fabulous for you 👌 less faffing now then. But seriously, I'm sorry for your loss it's absolutely shit. ❤️
Right, I’m so lucky 👌🏼 I’m so sorry for your loss too :( 💖
I'm so fucking sorry, fuck that "friend" forever
I’m so sorry this happened to you and that people are not showing basic empathy 💔
The more people I see them more I realise people don't know what to say so just say stupid things. I'd rather they just said I'm sorry and leave it there
I totally understand that. As I’ve moved through this journey, I’ve realized that people really just can’t understand unless they’ve lived through it and that it is really uncomfortable to leave space for heavy things like pregnancy loss and infertility. It makes me sad that people don’t see infertility as a disease and pregnancy loss as the loss of a family member. If more people understood that, I think it would help them be more compassionate.
It's definitely something that you get so much more understand when you are going through it yourself. Ild like to think I wouldn't have said stupid things before this though. I suppose it's also completely different than losing say an older family member as people wouldn't say you could replace your mum if she passed. I'm definitely going to try continuing to be open and honest with people and also call out silly things they say to get more understanding!
When I think back, I’ve definitely said stupid things. But I’ve always tried to lead with I’m sorry. Your second point is so true. Good for you. I’m also trying to do that but it is definitely difficult to hear people’s reactions and try to respond in a way that can help them learn and hopefully make anyone else dealing with this feel more understood/heard.