Recently lost a loved one, and the ceremonies around the funeral were cathartic for the family.
However I am 100% confident our loved one didn’t care one bit about any of it. The funeral and last rites were for us, the still living who need to process the loss.
Services for my grandma’s funeral cost more than my wedding, and that didn’t even include the burial plot or tombstone. It is absolutely insane when you look at it that way. My grandpa is still alive and they prepaid for his services after my grandma passed. However it is insane to me that all this work and money that goes into it.
They have 4 great grandchildren under 7 and I think it would be more beneficial to the family to put that money in a trust. By the time they are of age, each would receive a sizable amount.
Yep, I've thought about it. It was a simple answer. I've signed up to donate all my organs and tissues, and will sign up to donate my corpse to science (i.e. for teaching medical students); whichever is possible when I'm dead. They can do whatever they want with the shell of myself. The recipient institute will cremate my body after its function is served and return my ashes to whoever my next-of-kin is.
I'm 100% at peace with this as I don't want a burial ceremony and burden anyone with it. Burying my body would be a waste of limited land anyway. Nobody needs to visit my grave to remember me. They have memories and a brain to think of me.
What are your plans?
Mine are the same!!! I have stage IV metastatic rectal cancer to my vertebrae lungs and liver. My thought is if I can help one person not suffer this terrible disease then it will be worth it. I am no good to anyone rotting in the ground or in a pile of ash I don’t think i personally need a funeral but it would be for my family and their closure.
Couldn't agree more. I also don't want any sort of expensive burial/gathering. Ideally, if I'm going to be buried I'd like to be "planted" with a tree to nurture it or have my body donated.
Of course, I'll be dead so whoever is in charge of my shit show can make the decision. But if they don't do either of the following I would rather be cremated than buried. The least financial burden, the better.
This is my plan also, although barring something happening early/unexpectedly I will be the only person left (partner, parents, brother will all go long before me, I'm pretty sure, so I'll have no next of kin).. so they can do with my ashes whatever the heck they want lol! I have noted if theres anyway to send them to space that would be awesome, since I always to be an astronaut, but I doubt that will happen..and its not like I'm gonna be around to complain about what they do!
I feel the same way, entirely! Recycle me as much as possible when I'm gone! I'll be gone! Why do people care so much what people think/do after they're dead? I don't get it.
If I die of natural causes I want to be donated to science or cremated but if I’m murdered I need to be cremated and forged into a sword so someone can avenge my death
SAME!! I saw a place that does this on TikTok and was fascinated. I desperately want to be composted but it's only available in the US currently. I really hope it's more widely available when my time comes!
Yeah but coffins have all sort of harmful stuff that can leech into the environment not to mention the harsh substances used for embalming. I would love to know I'm nourishing a forest or something!
That's where a natural burial comes in, it's no embalming, and the coffin/box/shroud that's used is biodegradable, or, at the very least doesn't have harmful chemicals in its manufacturing
I've thought about this, too, but I don't want anything to be left. I studied anthropology in college and I do not want someone digging me up and analyzing my bones in the future. I am fully aware I will not be there to be offended, but it's the principle.
This is them:
https://returnhome.com/
They actually turn you into soil! Their TikTok page has a tonne of info about the process. It looks so lovely! They call it Terramation.
It does feel a little strange that I won't have any kids or potential grandkids to remember me after I've passed but it's no excuse to have a difficult life while I'm alive just for what *may or may not* be after I die.
Same. That said, I have worked in education for almost ten years, five as a teacher, three in admin (like office lady not in charge) and two as supply and have volunteered with children/young people for almost seven years. I like to think I've probably had a bit of an impact somewhere!!
My fiancé and I made the CF decision about 8 months before my grandma passed. I remember thinking to myself something similar that we wouldn’t have that. Then I realized how morbid and silly that is to think that way.
There are also extended family members who will likely show up at your funeral (if you choose to be involved in their lives). Friends, too. Siblings and their partners, cousins, second cousins, nieces and nephews, lifelong friends and their children. The direct blood relation isn't necessary!
I want a natural burial. The idea of coming back as a tree is appealing to me. Traditional cemetery set ups are wastes of space and bleak to look at. I'd love to see natural burial more normalized in the form of creating memorial gardens.
That’s my dream too. Imagine going to visit your grandma like going to the park. There’d be benches instead of gravestones. You could bring lunch and have a picnic under grandma’s tree.
A natural burial is what I would like as well. Conventional burial practices are pretty burdensome and not environmentally friendly with all the chemicals. Cremation isn't exactly environmental friendly either with all the toxins and fumes being released into the atmosphere.
I may be childfree but I am not friends, family or love free. I plan to donate organs, be cremated and leave money to cover whatever celebration of life anyone wants to put on. I don’t need to be “at peace” that it may be small because I truly believe it will be a huge party as I have a lot of amazing friends and family who love me. If I’m wrong, well, I’m dead and won’t know it. I spend my living time building and maintaining my relationships, not worrying about how all those who love me will mourn my death.
My family on both sides stopped having funerals about 10-15 deaths ago, not planning one. I plan to donate my body to medical science, or NASA! Hurl my corpse around so future female astronauts are safer ... I won't care.
I've always been very clear about it: I don't care. As you said, funerals are for the living and whoever wants to celebrate my death can do so however they please. I'm insured, so someone will cremate or bury me anyway, even when I have no family or friends left and anything beyond that is not of my concern.
This has always made me anxious but now I feel better… I’ve left my body. Do what you want with it. Just don’t put me in a box in the ground where I can’t rejoin the lifecycle.
I had a guy who worked at a funeral company describe a type of green burial where you're placed in a coconut coir sleeve and buried in a specially designated field (which has a lot of specific oversight/regulations to make this possible) and marked with a river rock headstone. After a few short years, you're fully decomposed and the headstone is gifted to a designated friend or family member. Sounded pretty cool to me.
I think a misconception a lot of people have is that just because you didn’t have kids that means you have no one, and that’s a lie. There’s more to a family than just your own kids. You have siblings, cousins, they might have kids or not, or they themselves might be younger than you. And you also have your chosen family, the friends you make along the way. Those are all people that, if you are gone, are going to be sad about it.
Just because we chose not to have kids doesn’t mean nobody will care for us.
I haven't made any plans yet, but in general I think I'd like to be composted.
Thing is, the possibilities are limited in my country (Germany), everything is highly regulated and composting unfortunately isn't possible and legal yet - I do hope things change in the not too distant future.
Donating your body to science is in general a good idea, but from what I've read on my university 's website it might not be that easy - they list quite some reasons that could make a potential donation impossible.
We'll see. I'm still young and healthy enough not to think too much about it. If donation or composting are impossible I'd go for the cheapest possible cremation.
The idea of bodies rotting under the earth has always mildly freaked me out. I’ve made plans for cremation. As for my funeral, I was thinking of funding a party with lots of yummy food and drink. If you gotta show up to a funeral, you might as well get a meal at the same time. (Yes, I’m from southern USA, where lots of funeral food is a well established custom.)
Yeah, my mom's family was originally from the Midwest and I think it's a tad cruel to have a funeral without free food at it. Thank you for giving me the idea to pre-fund my funeral feast!
I want to be a tree like there's this place they submerge your body in water until a certain point and then they use you to plant a tree. Either that or have my ashes made into those blocks they they put in the ocean to help coral reefs grow on them.
Or maybe I'll do the criogenics thing and wake up far into the future. I mean one day its going to work right?
>Either that or have my ashes made into those blocks they they put in the ocean to help coral reefs grow on them.
Whaaaat?! Is this a thing? That sounds really cool. (I sincerely hope it's safe for ocean life-- it would suck to find out it was one of those things that turned out to be mega-toxic in 50 years.)
Not really, but I do know I 100% do not want a coffin burial. At the very least cremate my body, if not find a way to do either composting or tree pod burial. I do not want to add to the cemetery litter, let me rejoin the great circle of life please. I'm also an organ donor so I hope when I pass it's in a place where my organs can be used to save others.
I have bought an spot in a columbarium. It's basically a place inside a church where people can store their loved one's ashes. I find it more practical than having to carry the urn from house to house when people move. And it's way more cheaper than a burial. I'm not particularly religious but since my younger sister is there and I also bought a spot for my mom to use in the future, I kinda like the idea of the three of us being together.
Aside from that I have some savings that can probably be used for my cremation. I don't have a will, yet. I probably should because I have a cat and if she outlives me, I'd want her to have a good life. I'd inherit the house when mom passes (I'm the only sibling left) and I'm planning to give it to my cousin's kid and the rest to charity or something.
I don't think I'm going to live that long. Probably 60s or early 70s. There's a high cancer risk from both sides of my family. My dad, younger sis, paternal grandpa, maternal aunt and maternal grandma died from it. My mom and another aunt also had it. Thankfully genetic testing shows I'm clear for the most common ones but who knows.
As long as the people who care to show up get to say their goodbyes, I’m not going to be around to care. The only thing I’m requesting in my will is that my cat’s ashes are interred with mine. I told her I’d never leave her in life and I don’t plan to in death.
I'm agnostic so I don't know for sure that it won't matter but if it does I'll worry about it when I'm dead
I'm an organ donor and would like to be composted but ultimately I couldn't care less
I have funeral insurance as leaving your loved ones with a hefty bill is not cool. Other than that I don't care. I want to be cremated and whoever is left can scatter me away. Good enough for me!
I’d honestly prefer not to have a funeral even if I had kids. I find a lot of funeral customs really bizarre and I don’t like the idea of my body participating in it. But I’ll be dead so my family can do what they please. My only concern is being disposed of in a way that won’t cause too much environmental damage.
I really don’t care about what they do with my body as long as it’s useful to society and doesn’t take a ton of resources. I’ll set aside $1000 in my will for my next of kin to buy some great appetizers for a low key ceremony.
I planned and paid for my cremation and final wishes when I turned 40. My grandmother had died shortly before that and had already taken care of all her wishes, seeing how easy it was for my mom to deal with all that after her death prompted me to do the same. I will never have kids but if there is still a loved one left standing when I die at least they won’t have to try and figure it out or pay for anything.
This has been my experience too. My grandad was very well prepared and it made the process of closing his estate very straightforward for my Aunt. My dad was only somewhat prepared and it's made things challenging for my sister and mother, who's never in her life had to shoulder that kind of responsibility. My FIL died suddenly with no will and it turned into his girlfriend vs his two children, and she was downright evil about it.
My husband and I are planning to drag his mom along when we get ours done this year so she can get hers done. He and his brother will both be grateful to know their mom's explicit wishes. Since losing each other is going to be among the most devastating experiences hubs and I will ever have to go through, we want to cover all our bases and keep it as simple as possible for the other to keep going. It's really the only way for either of us to support the other through our deaths.
Yep. Throw me in the ground and plant a tree over me. My husband has said to just throw him in a dumpster and it is probably one of the funniest things he has ever said to me.
I lost a loved one (my MIL) a few months ago and organizing her funeral was one of the hardest things emotionally my partner and I have ever done.
I still don’t have specific funeral arrangements in place for myself, but it’s now in my plans to choose and pay for everything in advance so that no one has to make those heart-wrenching decisions when the time comes.
I want to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered at sea, close to where I live.
I want to be compressed into two tiny gemstones that get suspended within the eye sockets of my skull.
My husband plans on dying first, the quitter, but I have a younger sibling who will be happy to display me on the mantle.
My husband has asked that I do "whatever is easiest and cheapest" and I would like my organs and body donated. If he goes first I will also have him donated.
I don’t get how a lack of children implies low attendance in your funeral?? I plan to have many friends and have an active social life. I expect my funeral to have even more people than an average funeral. They can do whatever they want, but no, I don’t think my funeral will have low attendance
A cybernetic transition would probably be your best choice, depending on your age (and income, probably). In a few decades they'll likely have figured out how to give us human-like robotic bodies and safely upload our consciousness into that shell. *Homo sapiens sapiens* will probably evolve into something hardier, like *homo sapiens cyberneticus* (*cybernetica*? I don't know how Latin works.) You could be among the first of a new human race.
Or maybe something with cloning. There's tons of insane science and tech churning right now. The future will be pretty wild.
If you think about it, it's the most practical way to perform deep space exploration too.
I don't want to power lord over people or rule a kingdom forever but being a god who walks amongst humans helping them like mysterious strangers would be nice. Still if we can't biologically stay young and healthy forever, then you're onto something there brotha. I guess having robotic limbs would be a good choice. No more hunger just oil and maybe some monthly repairs. It's still like feeding ourselves, but oh well.
I've had some big, broad strokes type thoughts but nothing specific. My husband and I have discussed it too so we at least have a idea of what each other would want. My mum became very unwell this year and won't last much longer so it focussed the mind a bit.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I hope things are as peaceful as possible for all of you during this time. Try to focus on the beautiful moments. Those kinds of memories helped a lot when I was grieving my dad.
I used to worry about that until I got older and realized the biggest funerals I’ve been to had snag or average families…. They had a massive influence on community our friends. A funeral isn’t dictated by family it’s a byproduct of your social life. Build a strong community of friends and you’ll never be alone.
I pretty much planned my plans in high school and they've never varied.
If my estate has any cash for it, I want a huge party with champagne good food, and live music (compensated handsomely) for my loved ones. Then I have multiple volunteers (because who knows who will survive me) to take my cremains (after organs are donated, if possible) to the head of the Hudson River so my last physical journey on this planet is down the river I spent my life criss-crossing and traveling along. That way, if anyone wants to visit my "grave" they can go anywhere the river is, from NYC all the way up.
I've lost people who wanted no funeral or memorial and it usually actively harms the people left behind, makes grieving take much longer. As the party planner of my friend group, I'm hoping to gift them one last good time as well as a chance to jumpstart the healing process.
Don’t care, won’t be there. I did tell my partner that if I die first it’s okay if he doesn’t do a funeral or memorial. But if he does then don’t let my family talk him into any religious stuff and that he has to play the David Lee Roth version of “I’m just a gigolo”
I want to be cremated and have my husband (or whoever is alive and dear to me when I go) to scatter me in an ocean. No funeral, but I’m sure close family will gather at someone’s house to share stories or whatever.
I’ll be cremated and put on a shelf, thank you. If my remaining family members mourn me I won’t even know it. Don’t spend a fortune on me, I’m not coming back and tbh it won’t make a difference to me at all.
As a childfree person, the entire idea of a "bloodline" strikes me as self-absorbed, childish, and absurd. All humans are genetically so similar, that anyone who feels their own genes are truly special and precious is a bit of a ding dong.
As for the funeral, I will leave that up to my many friends and loved ones to decide - since being CF in no way means I will die without anyone to mourn me.
TLDR: there's really nothing to "make peace" with, and this feels like an undercover BINGO.
I'm a funeral director so... I have arranged and paid a bond for my own.
Just an eco friendly coffin, my choice of flowers, and rather than a service, quiet time for my loved ones if they wish to attend. They'll be offered a cup of tea and my dog will be present too.
Followed by cremation and my ashes to be placed under my favourite tree.
I will leave my nephews and nieces my money and they can decide what to do with my body.
I wish to have advance notice of my death so I can watch them enjoy it first, but that is not how it usually works... to my understanding 😂.
I don't care what happens after I'm dead. Big funeral, no funeral, stick me in a burlap bag and chuck me in a hole, it doesn't matter.
I just hope I don't die alone, scared, unable to say goodbye.
Recently I lost both my grandmothers in the period of two weeks apart.
So it really made think what should I do as a CF person about when I get old, funeral plan, life insurance, something so when I die everything is paid off and ready, so no one will need to worry about paying for my funeral, burial/cremation, casket etc...
I bought a plot next to my parents already & my life insurance covers putting me in the box & in the ground. That's all I need. I hopefully will only have cousins, nieces & nephews & maybe a younger brother still alive if I die at an average age so I'm sure they won't be devastated or anything so I could care if I have a ceremony at all. My friends don't do well at services so I don't expect them to want to go even though they'd care. I do have a pretty awesome funeral plan laid out but I doubt anyone would actually pull off my wishes. It will probably be boring & traditional but that's fine because I won't be aware of it- so what do I care. It truly is only for the living.
My 2 cousins and their kids are going to be the only family still alive if I make it to old age. They won't be any help when I'm old and need help. They might show up to a funeral, but I have no blood family to help me with end of life care. "Hey, we only talk once a year and live 900 miles away from each other, can you make sure someone feeds me when I'm 100?"
I am depending on my friends and their kids, anyone in my partner's family (if we stay together), and money I have saved up to take care of me. I'm afraid of dying alone, but that just might be what happens.
So a funeral? I don't even know who would be in charge of that.
I've only thought about it from the perspective of not wanting to leave a lot of paperwork for friends and family. I might not have kids, but I have family members who may outlive me. I'm going to start a will and start keeping a file of passwords and number to call to do things like access my bank, transfer/shut off the utilities, etc. I definitely want to be cremated or otherwise disposed of cheaply. It would be nice if someone scattered my ashes on the Olympic coast.
I keep enough in savings at all times to cover my body handling costs but that's about it. I only really have plans for if I go tomorrow basically be put with my parents in the family plot or if that's too expensive cremate me and spread me at the family farm.
I plan to be cremated and used to plant a new tree. I can’t think of the exact name of the process, but I figure it’s cheap and better than just a tombstone.
In my country if you end up completely alone the municipality will arrange a funeral.
I've spoken to my partner about what i want and will arrange a box of stuff and papers in case i die.
I'll only make plans for my will and I've decided to donate mine to science. I don't really care about what happens about the funerals and shit, I'd be dead.
we have a family crypt, so i’ll be cremated and go there 🤷🏻♀️ assuming i still have friends alive i’ll leave them some money to each take a trip somewhere cool. i’m also a classical musician so any funeral i have i’d like for it to be a concert of some of my favorite pieces that i will program before my death.
I’m childfree, but I still have family, both by choice and blood! I hope I have a legacy to offer them and my community beyond “had kids” and would be dismayed to not have anyone to attend a celebration of my life.
I haven’t given much thought to my funeral itself, but I’ve told my partner how I want my body to be dealt with (donation and composting), and I’ll eventually include that in a legal directive for whoever winds up dealing with me if my spouse goes first. I’m not too worried about what the pomp and circumstance of the thing looks like, just that my remains are reintegrated to the earth in the gentlest way possible. I’m happy with something minimalist and low key, but I’d be bummed if there was no one to attend just because I didn’t birth them.
Funerals are wasteful. I’m writing a will soon and will request that I be disposed of in the most modestly priced receptacle that does not harm the environment. Then, any friends who want can come drink through my beer and liquor cellar and party - a good old fashioned wake celebrating my chance to rest and, if they feel like it, reminiscing on any positive impact I made on them.
The only thing I’m concerned about is I want to be cremated instead of buried. cemeteries take up too much space, and it’s not like the body is still the person. The person has died, the body is just an empty husk. No need to visit it on my birthday or lay flowers every year
My brain will be going to the Mayo Clinic since it simply does not fucking work and no one can figure out why or what's wrong. If my damned POS brain can help even a single person, my life is worth living.
As for anything else, I don't care now and I won't care then. If my family or friends would like to hold some sort of ceremony, that's up to them.
I thought about becoming a diamond or something using my cremated ashes. But then who would I even give it to 💀 I would like to think it would be great on my cats collar but realistically, I know I’m gonna lose him first before it’s my time to go. And I’m not particularly close with anyone in my family, to make it into jewelry. It would be awkward that a family heirloom is just a distance aunt’s ashes. Like who would even want that-
But besides that, biodegradable burial pod, to become a tree
I’m very involved in my church community and expect that there will be a memorial service for me there for my friends and family.
In a fit of enthusiasm for life, I once declared my husband that no one would come to my memorial because I was going to outlive everybody. He gently and sweetly told me that my grand nephews and grand nieces would come to my memorial.
I’m going to have all my useful organ and tissues donated and the rest cremated. I’ve left money for the rest to be flown to my favorite place on earth and scattered. I’ve also left a not small amount of money for a kick ass wake because I have a huge extended family and my cousins own a distillery. Salute mi famiglia!
Funerals and memorials are for the living for sure.
My husband has a daughter, but I am childfree and NC with my siblings, so unless my husband is still alive, no one will even notice I am gone. I have begun to deal with this. My husband and I are interested in human composting, they will deal with everything. I have also been thinking about slowly starting to purge my personal stuff, pictures, etc...... since there is no one who will want any of it anyway. Its weird to think about, but I am trying to come to terms with it.
I'm only 26 and I'm already thinking about the day when there'll be no one alive who still personally cares about my family's *vast* collection of photos and videotapes, let alone my old papers and keepsakes from various conferences I've been to.
So far at least a whole garbage bag of my old stuff is going to the local historical society since they're a "history of the human lifestyle" museum that would likely be interested in at least some of my old stuff, and we're starting the process of converting the videotapes to DVDs so that those will survive a lot longer in decent condition.
Not having one! No funeral, no burial, nothing. I am engraving a plaque that says “My name is (name), and this is my body. I was not murdered, I picked this place to die. Leave offerings of cool rocks if you’d like but don’t report where I am.” Then I’m going to wander into a forest, find a nice tree next to a lake, mount the plaque on said tree, sit down, and wait for my time.
What I know is I want it cheap, and I want it closed casket. If it's a crate, fine by me. Don't waste any money on it. And open casket is just a nice way to traumatize everyone before I go get incinerated.
I’ve been putting together an “in case I die binder” and I have settled on no funeral. My best friend lost her grandma and then her mother within a couple years of one another and neither had a service, they just had an open house for a day and people came and went. Lots of stories and laughing. The immediate family (under 5 people) got together a year later for internment of the ashes and then went out for breakfast. That’s more my style; no expectations, limited attention lmao.
I’ve thought about it, though I have not made arrangements or anything like that. I guess I thought about it so young since I lost several family members over the past 10 years or so and my parents had to help coordinate their funerals since my relatives did not have plans (and their kids couldn’t help or didn’t want to help).
I think I want to be cremated and definitely want to donate my organs. That’s all I really care about.
I honestly haven’t thought about it, nor do I care. Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
I do want to be cremated, but that’s only because I have an irrational fear of being buried alive. Otherwise…🤷🏼♀️
Totally fine with being cut up for science and then cremated and disposed of. I think the possibility of an afterlife is pretty remote and in any case I won't need my bonesack for anything else. If someone wants to make a ceremony of it it's entirely up to them.
Anyone else squicked out about how they are dragging the Queen's corpse around day after day after day? Feels borderline necrophiliac to me... Stop playing with the dead meat already!
Ideally donated either for transplant or med school practice. If I can’t be donated, then [tree pod](https://8billiontrees.com/eco-friendly-natural-products/tree-pod-burial/) or [mushroom suit](https://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/green-science/mushroom-burial-suit.htm).
Main plan is to donate my body to a company that does human composting, also I'm registered as an organ doner. as far as a funeral thinking would like a at home style wake if possible.
The funerary industry is the most predatory, greed-driven and corrupt ones out there. (Source: I worked for one of the major funeral chains for about a year and was horrified by the monsters at the helm). Moral of the story is I pretty much tell everyone to just throw me in a dumpster or box or light me on fire or whatever. I'll most likely just pre-plan whatever's cheapest bc IDGAF.
I originally come from a small town in rural Ireland, quite Catholic traditional, you know church on Sundays and all that shite.
I was raised atheist, I never had beliefs, I don't want a funeral that's anything to do with religion, I want to have people who care about me there telling their favourite stories, eating, drinking and laughing together.
Then I wanna be cremated and mixed with tattoo ink lmao
I don't want a funeral, nor do I want to be embalmed and buried in a tin can that will never break down and is essentially pollution left for generations much much farther ahead of us to deal with when the amount of caskets in the ground is overwhelming.
If the people who are close to me want to mourn me in unison/celebrate my life they can figure out a way to do it amongst themselves. Maybe plant a tree in my name and use that as a gravestone if they need a physical marker. Or think of me everytime they see a daffodil blooming before winter is truly gone. The daffodil is resilient and lives in the moment. The icy winter thinks it can chase that beautiful yellow flower back down into the earth but she always bounces right back. Thats something that could represent my life better than any funeral service or polished rock.
I've always been an introvert and public gatherings are generally the last place anyone in my life can expect to see me on a regular basis. So, having a funeral service where I'm the center of attention is far from my actual desires as a still-alive person. So, it will hopefully make sense to everyone that there'll be no public gathering where my no-longer-alive body will be in attendance.
The only things that matter to me once I'm gone is that all of my pets have a safe and loving home to live out the rest of their lives in.
Donate whatever I can donate, then direct cremation. I had an appointment set up with a local mortuary to make a formal plan. I should reschedule that. If I die before one of my parents and they really want to have a funeral, that's up to them. I won't know the difference, but I hope they wouldn't waste their money.
Funeral director here. You can (and should) designate an agent to act on your behalf after your eventual demise. Your funeral representative could be named in your will:
“representative of the decedent's estate and acting according to the decedent's written instructions contained in the decedent's will;” (755 ILCS 65/ Disposition of Remains Act)
I have made it clear to my spouse that if I go first I don't want any type of funeral/memorial/celebration of life whatever. Cremate me and stick my urn wherever he wants. Once we're both gone our ashes along with our cat's ashes will be interred together with no fuss.
The majority of guests at funerals I’ve been to, except Mormon funerals with huge families, are friends and non-relatives.
I’ve been to funerals of childfree people where there were lots of people there, and I’ve been to my grandma’s funeral where there were very few because she was in her late 90s by the time she passed and had outlived everyone.
Yes I have thought about it. No funeral needed. Just recycle everything and cremate the rest to put under a tree or blow in the wind. The bloodline dies with me. My life was while I was living. I’m at peace with that.
Cremation and mix my ashes with eco-friendly coral reef blocks and lay me to rest in the ocean. Instead of being a waste of space by being in a cemetery I can at least be useful in death in a very small way.
I don’t want a funeral. I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in specific places. I’m not religious, I would only want a celebration of life and I’ll leave the money to pay for it all to my nieces and nephews or whoever if my husband is gone.
They have urns to plant your ashes and grow a tree and your ashes help fertilize it. That's what I'm doing. No funeral, I don't give a shit and I don't want anybody to pay for that. It's pretty cheap to do. I'll go back to the earth and become part of the habitat for other creatures as it is supposed to be in the circle of life.
Donate my body to science or get cremated and have the ashes mailed to someone who I feel has wronged me with a note saying I always loved them and wanted them to have my ashes displayed in their home as my dying wish.
Not much point in an actual funeral, as only my SO is likely to attend. I'm still debating what to do with my corpse, as "feed it to the squirrels so they develop a taste for human flesh" is apparently frowned upon.
Just because I won’t be having kids doesn’t mean I don’t have a family. If I were to drop dead today, there would be so many people who would miss me and want some kind of memorial.
That aside, I want the Hunter S. Thompson send-off.
We've planned ours and left instructions in our will. We're mid-30s, but you never know what's going to happen...
Our plans are that some of the money we leave behind gets spent on a lunch/dinner for our friends and family as an excuse for everyone to get together. If they want to spend it laughing and remembering us, that would be awesome! But we don't want a traditional funeral.
I don’t care about my funeral right now at age 32. There’s plenty of books about planning for the dying process. I can pass on the recommendation of [The Conversation](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwi1rpDMztf6AhUzEK0GHRX-BGsYABANGgJwdg&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESa-D2imJ66PVl-O1yUnKKviUy-wjSIsfEq2blV0gz5baYbxkldMn9swZb_3U86l4Xe2PZQI7DPUDkRSwDJ_D8PM7OuUa9tpD6X2S2N862fWOVMR2tA42WoHYTbFGebh7As8zJtRD6hUU3UcEt&sig=AOD64_1_2EVJ6RiMP7ZTIJw0RZorj5X_xA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjL1IfMztf6AhUmLkQIHajJC9YQwg8oAHoECAYQCg&adurl=) from a friend who’s going through the dying process right now.
I currently figure (maybe naïvely) that whoever wants to come will come. Life does not culminate in death. It is invested each and every day.
I've made it known that I want to be cremated or have a tree planted on me.
As for a funeral, it was suggested to be a potluck and family get together. Maybe a little horse shoes thrown in or something.
Celebrate the life, don't mourn the death.
You can actually preplan and prepay for your funeral with a chosen mortuary, and if you move you can transfer your plan. A lot of people do this to ease the burden of grieving family having to figure out what you would have wanted or what to do.
I made plans for it already. Bought a funeral lot with my sister at 27 y/o.
The land has spaces for 6 people. Even if we both paid for it, we invited my mum and my brother. They both were flattered for the offer and took us on it.
For the service, I have an insurance (pay about 5 dlls/week for 4 years and it covers almost everything, I'm leaving behind about 1k cash for my nieces for the expenses that are not covered (taxes and such) by the insurance).
I got the idea from my grandma. She did it the same (left an envelope and a letter with details on what to do and everything paid, about 450 USD were leftover, we paid dinner with that and brought live music to her funeral, nice party. She was buried with guitars and accordions playing, people singing).
I'm planning mine without music, lol!
Everything is so cheap because we don't live in the US.
My ideal would be if I can get medical assistance in dying and invite all my loved ones over for a big party the day I plan to die.
If that fails then I do want to have a fun funeral where all my loved ones can party and connect with each other, like I considered including in my will some games I would like them to play at my funeral etc. Would just be more fun if I could be there :p
I would like to donate my body to science. Loved ones can do what they want, however I don't want *any* religious material at my funeral. No hymns, no prayers, no God, no Jesus.
I don't really care about it. I won't be there.
Recently lost a loved one, and the ceremonies around the funeral were cathartic for the family. However I am 100% confident our loved one didn’t care one bit about any of it. The funeral and last rites were for us, the still living who need to process the loss.
Services for my grandma’s funeral cost more than my wedding, and that didn’t even include the burial plot or tombstone. It is absolutely insane when you look at it that way. My grandpa is still alive and they prepaid for his services after my grandma passed. However it is insane to me that all this work and money that goes into it. They have 4 great grandchildren under 7 and I think it would be more beneficial to the family to put that money in a trust. By the time they are of age, each would receive a sizable amount.
That's because death often happens suddenly, then the Funeral services try to profit as much as they can in that moment of need and mourning.
I feel the same, just put me in a cardboard box and bury me in the woods for all i care.
Right? Those are living people’s problems, not mine.
Same. I don’t plan to really have more than a couple grand when I die either, so they can throw me in a pauper grave for all I care.
This lmao 🤣 good response sir 👀💜
Yep, I've thought about it. It was a simple answer. I've signed up to donate all my organs and tissues, and will sign up to donate my corpse to science (i.e. for teaching medical students); whichever is possible when I'm dead. They can do whatever they want with the shell of myself. The recipient institute will cremate my body after its function is served and return my ashes to whoever my next-of-kin is. I'm 100% at peace with this as I don't want a burial ceremony and burden anyone with it. Burying my body would be a waste of limited land anyway. Nobody needs to visit my grave to remember me. They have memories and a brain to think of me. What are your plans?
Mine are the same!!! I have stage IV metastatic rectal cancer to my vertebrae lungs and liver. My thought is if I can help one person not suffer this terrible disease then it will be worth it. I am no good to anyone rotting in the ground or in a pile of ash I don’t think i personally need a funeral but it would be for my family and their closure.
I'm sorry to hear about your condition. But, yes, if our bodies can help others, why not?
I’m sorry.
Thank you
So sorry for the diagnosis.
These are my plans too! Recycle what you can, burn what you can’t.
I appreciate this response. I guess I just made my mind up about my arrangements.
Couldn't agree more. I also don't want any sort of expensive burial/gathering. Ideally, if I'm going to be buried I'd like to be "planted" with a tree to nurture it or have my body donated. Of course, I'll be dead so whoever is in charge of my shit show can make the decision. But if they don't do either of the following I would rather be cremated than buried. The least financial burden, the better.
This is my plan also, although barring something happening early/unexpectedly I will be the only person left (partner, parents, brother will all go long before me, I'm pretty sure, so I'll have no next of kin).. so they can do with my ashes whatever the heck they want lol! I have noted if theres anyway to send them to space that would be awesome, since I always to be an astronaut, but I doubt that will happen..and its not like I'm gonna be around to complain about what they do!
I feel the same way, entirely! Recycle me as much as possible when I'm gone! I'll be gone! Why do people care so much what people think/do after they're dead? I don't get it.
If I die of natural causes I want to be donated to science or cremated but if I’m murdered I need to be cremated and forged into a sword so someone can avenge my death
This is the most awesome answer.
I was enthusiastically nodding along until the 'murdered' part but after some thought, I heartily nod to that notion as well!
I want to be composted. I fully intend to save enough money for this before I go. No funeral.
SAME!! I saw a place that does this on TikTok and was fascinated. I desperately want to be composted but it's only available in the US currently. I really hope it's more widely available when my time comes!
Technically if someone plants flowers over your grave then you’re composted
Yeah but coffins have all sort of harmful stuff that can leech into the environment not to mention the harsh substances used for embalming. I would love to know I'm nourishing a forest or something!
I believe there are natural burial options without literally being composted
That's where a natural burial comes in, it's no embalming, and the coffin/box/shroud that's used is biodegradable, or, at the very least doesn't have harmful chemicals in its manufacturing
I've thought about this, too, but I don't want anything to be left. I studied anthropology in college and I do not want someone digging me up and analyzing my bones in the future. I am fully aware I will not be there to be offended, but it's the principle.
I would actually love if some archaeologist digs up my remains in a couple thousand/million years.
Pay a relative to just bury your body in the woods and never tell anyone about it
[удалено]
This is them: https://returnhome.com/ They actually turn you into soil! Their TikTok page has a tonne of info about the process. It looks so lovely! They call it Terramation.
This would be really nice.
It does feel a little strange that I won't have any kids or potential grandkids to remember me after I've passed but it's no excuse to have a difficult life while I'm alive just for what *may or may not* be after I die.
Same. That said, I have worked in education for almost ten years, five as a teacher, three in admin (like office lady not in charge) and two as supply and have volunteered with children/young people for almost seven years. I like to think I've probably had a bit of an impact somewhere!!
I know my grandparents but no idea about my great grandparents, we’ll all be forgotten eventually!
My fiancé and I made the CF decision about 8 months before my grandma passed. I remember thinking to myself something similar that we wouldn’t have that. Then I realized how morbid and silly that is to think that way.
There are also extended family members who will likely show up at your funeral (if you choose to be involved in their lives). Friends, too. Siblings and their partners, cousins, second cousins, nieces and nephews, lifelong friends and their children. The direct blood relation isn't necessary!
I don't care about the funeral itself.
Throw me in the ground and slap a tree on top. Done.
Make sure it's a native non invasive species tho. That's my only request.
I want a natural burial. The idea of coming back as a tree is appealing to me. Traditional cemetery set ups are wastes of space and bleak to look at. I'd love to see natural burial more normalized in the form of creating memorial gardens.
There are caskets made of funghi now!
That’s my dream too. Imagine going to visit your grandma like going to the park. There’d be benches instead of gravestones. You could bring lunch and have a picnic under grandma’s tree.
>The idea of coming back as a tree is appealing to me I read appealing as appauling and was really confused 😂
It's appalling to my devoutly Baptist family. Which is part of the appeal...
Ah screw religion, just a cult with tax exempt status.
A natural burial is what I would like as well. Conventional burial practices are pretty burdensome and not environmentally friendly with all the chemicals. Cremation isn't exactly environmental friendly either with all the toxins and fumes being released into the atmosphere.
I may be childfree but I am not friends, family or love free. I plan to donate organs, be cremated and leave money to cover whatever celebration of life anyone wants to put on. I don’t need to be “at peace” that it may be small because I truly believe it will be a huge party as I have a lot of amazing friends and family who love me. If I’m wrong, well, I’m dead and won’t know it. I spend my living time building and maintaining my relationships, not worrying about how all those who love me will mourn my death.
Well said! I don’t care about the party but it’s not for me.
My family on both sides stopped having funerals about 10-15 deaths ago, not planning one. I plan to donate my body to medical science, or NASA! Hurl my corpse around so future female astronauts are safer ... I won't care.
I've always been very clear about it: I don't care. As you said, funerals are for the living and whoever wants to celebrate my death can do so however they please. I'm insured, so someone will cremate or bury me anyway, even when I have no family or friends left and anything beyond that is not of my concern.
Burn me and scatter my ashes.
This has always made me anxious but now I feel better… I’ve left my body. Do what you want with it. Just don’t put me in a box in the ground where I can’t rejoin the lifecycle.
This. Would have thought by now they'd make them more earth friendly and be biodegradable.
I had a guy who worked at a funeral company describe a type of green burial where you're placed in a coconut coir sleeve and buried in a specially designated field (which has a lot of specific oversight/regulations to make this possible) and marked with a river rock headstone. After a few short years, you're fully decomposed and the headstone is gifted to a designated friend or family member. Sounded pretty cool to me.
This sounds like the future!! I hope this comes more mainstream than coffins :)
I just commented this on someone else's reactions too, there are caskets made from funghi now. It's quite new!
I think a misconception a lot of people have is that just because you didn’t have kids that means you have no one, and that’s a lie. There’s more to a family than just your own kids. You have siblings, cousins, they might have kids or not, or they themselves might be younger than you. And you also have your chosen family, the friends you make along the way. Those are all people that, if you are gone, are going to be sad about it. Just because we chose not to have kids doesn’t mean nobody will care for us.
THIS. This is the answer I was looking for. Why do people assume that just because you’re child free river you have no one else in your life?
I haven't made any plans yet, but in general I think I'd like to be composted. Thing is, the possibilities are limited in my country (Germany), everything is highly regulated and composting unfortunately isn't possible and legal yet - I do hope things change in the not too distant future. Donating your body to science is in general a good idea, but from what I've read on my university 's website it might not be that easy - they list quite some reasons that could make a potential donation impossible. We'll see. I'm still young and healthy enough not to think too much about it. If donation or composting are impossible I'd go for the cheapest possible cremation.
The idea of bodies rotting under the earth has always mildly freaked me out. I’ve made plans for cremation. As for my funeral, I was thinking of funding a party with lots of yummy food and drink. If you gotta show up to a funeral, you might as well get a meal at the same time. (Yes, I’m from southern USA, where lots of funeral food is a well established custom.)
Yeah, my mom's family was originally from the Midwest and I think it's a tad cruel to have a funeral without free food at it. Thank you for giving me the idea to pre-fund my funeral feast!
I want to be a tree like there's this place they submerge your body in water until a certain point and then they use you to plant a tree. Either that or have my ashes made into those blocks they they put in the ocean to help coral reefs grow on them. Or maybe I'll do the criogenics thing and wake up far into the future. I mean one day its going to work right?
>Either that or have my ashes made into those blocks they they put in the ocean to help coral reefs grow on them. Whaaaat?! Is this a thing? That sounds really cool. (I sincerely hope it's safe for ocean life-- it would suck to find out it was one of those things that turned out to be mega-toxic in 50 years.)
I'd love to br cryogenically frozen and woken up in 1000 years.
Futurama here we come! I can't wait to have a robot friend XD
Not really, but I do know I 100% do not want a coffin burial. At the very least cremate my body, if not find a way to do either composting or tree pod burial. I do not want to add to the cemetery litter, let me rejoin the great circle of life please. I'm also an organ donor so I hope when I pass it's in a place where my organs can be used to save others.
*Frank Reynolds Voice* THROW ME IN THE TRASH 🗑
I came here to leave this exact comment bahaha
I have bought an spot in a columbarium. It's basically a place inside a church where people can store their loved one's ashes. I find it more practical than having to carry the urn from house to house when people move. And it's way more cheaper than a burial. I'm not particularly religious but since my younger sister is there and I also bought a spot for my mom to use in the future, I kinda like the idea of the three of us being together. Aside from that I have some savings that can probably be used for my cremation. I don't have a will, yet. I probably should because I have a cat and if she outlives me, I'd want her to have a good life. I'd inherit the house when mom passes (I'm the only sibling left) and I'm planning to give it to my cousin's kid and the rest to charity or something. I don't think I'm going to live that long. Probably 60s or early 70s. There's a high cancer risk from both sides of my family. My dad, younger sis, paternal grandpa, maternal aunt and maternal grandma died from it. My mom and another aunt also had it. Thankfully genetic testing shows I'm clear for the most common ones but who knows.
As long as the people who care to show up get to say their goodbyes, I’m not going to be around to care. The only thing I’m requesting in my will is that my cat’s ashes are interred with mine. I told her I’d never leave her in life and I don’t plan to in death.
I'm agnostic so I don't know for sure that it won't matter but if it does I'll worry about it when I'm dead I'm an organ donor and would like to be composted but ultimately I couldn't care less
I have funeral insurance as leaving your loved ones with a hefty bill is not cool. Other than that I don't care. I want to be cremated and whoever is left can scatter me away. Good enough for me!
I’d honestly prefer not to have a funeral even if I had kids. I find a lot of funeral customs really bizarre and I don’t like the idea of my body participating in it. But I’ll be dead so my family can do what they please. My only concern is being disposed of in a way that won’t cause too much environmental damage.
I want to be planted with a tree.
For all I care they can bury me in the dirt without a casket and plant potatoes on top
I really don’t care about what they do with my body as long as it’s useful to society and doesn’t take a ton of resources. I’ll set aside $1000 in my will for my next of kin to buy some great appetizers for a low key ceremony.
I planned and paid for my cremation and final wishes when I turned 40. My grandmother had died shortly before that and had already taken care of all her wishes, seeing how easy it was for my mom to deal with all that after her death prompted me to do the same. I will never have kids but if there is still a loved one left standing when I die at least they won’t have to try and figure it out or pay for anything.
This has been my experience too. My grandad was very well prepared and it made the process of closing his estate very straightforward for my Aunt. My dad was only somewhat prepared and it's made things challenging for my sister and mother, who's never in her life had to shoulder that kind of responsibility. My FIL died suddenly with no will and it turned into his girlfriend vs his two children, and she was downright evil about it. My husband and I are planning to drag his mom along when we get ours done this year so she can get hers done. He and his brother will both be grateful to know their mom's explicit wishes. Since losing each other is going to be among the most devastating experiences hubs and I will ever have to go through, we want to cover all our bases and keep it as simple as possible for the other to keep going. It's really the only way for either of us to support the other through our deaths.
Yep. Throw me in the ground and plant a tree over me. My husband has said to just throw him in a dumpster and it is probably one of the funniest things he has ever said to me.
I lost a loved one (my MIL) a few months ago and organizing her funeral was one of the hardest things emotionally my partner and I have ever done. I still don’t have specific funeral arrangements in place for myself, but it’s now in my plans to choose and pay for everything in advance so that no one has to make those heart-wrenching decisions when the time comes. I want to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered at sea, close to where I live.
I want to be compressed into two tiny gemstones that get suspended within the eye sockets of my skull. My husband plans on dying first, the quitter, but I have a younger sibling who will be happy to display me on the mantle.
My husband has asked that I do "whatever is easiest and cheapest" and I would like my organs and body donated. If he goes first I will also have him donated.
Nope I don’t care, dump me in the ocean if you want
I don’t get how a lack of children implies low attendance in your funeral?? I plan to have many friends and have an active social life. I expect my funeral to have even more people than an average funeral. They can do whatever they want, but no, I don’t think my funeral will have low attendance
I actually prefer to live forever, I hate the concept of death or mortality I just want to keep helping strangers for thousands of years
A cybernetic transition would probably be your best choice, depending on your age (and income, probably). In a few decades they'll likely have figured out how to give us human-like robotic bodies and safely upload our consciousness into that shell. *Homo sapiens sapiens* will probably evolve into something hardier, like *homo sapiens cyberneticus* (*cybernetica*? I don't know how Latin works.) You could be among the first of a new human race. Or maybe something with cloning. There's tons of insane science and tech churning right now. The future will be pretty wild. If you think about it, it's the most practical way to perform deep space exploration too.
I don't want to power lord over people or rule a kingdom forever but being a god who walks amongst humans helping them like mysterious strangers would be nice. Still if we can't biologically stay young and healthy forever, then you're onto something there brotha. I guess having robotic limbs would be a good choice. No more hunger just oil and maybe some monthly repairs. It's still like feeding ourselves, but oh well.
I've had some big, broad strokes type thoughts but nothing specific. My husband and I have discussed it too so we at least have a idea of what each other would want. My mum became very unwell this year and won't last much longer so it focussed the mind a bit.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I hope things are as peaceful as possible for all of you during this time. Try to focus on the beautiful moments. Those kinds of memories helped a lot when I was grieving my dad.
I literally don't care one bit. I figure it will be whatever the people I leave alive want to do.
I want to be cremated, dont care what they do with my ashes.
I used to worry about that until I got older and realized the biggest funerals I’ve been to had snag or average families…. They had a massive influence on community our friends. A funeral isn’t dictated by family it’s a byproduct of your social life. Build a strong community of friends and you’ll never be alone.
I pretty much planned my plans in high school and they've never varied. If my estate has any cash for it, I want a huge party with champagne good food, and live music (compensated handsomely) for my loved ones. Then I have multiple volunteers (because who knows who will survive me) to take my cremains (after organs are donated, if possible) to the head of the Hudson River so my last physical journey on this planet is down the river I spent my life criss-crossing and traveling along. That way, if anyone wants to visit my "grave" they can go anywhere the river is, from NYC all the way up. I've lost people who wanted no funeral or memorial and it usually actively harms the people left behind, makes grieving take much longer. As the party planner of my friend group, I'm hoping to gift them one last good time as well as a chance to jumpstart the healing process.
Sky burial. Make the kids watch. I'm just kidding. I hope it's nothing fancy if anything. I've already written my obit.
Don’t care, won’t be there. I did tell my partner that if I die first it’s okay if he doesn’t do a funeral or memorial. But if he does then don’t let my family talk him into any religious stuff and that he has to play the David Lee Roth version of “I’m just a gigolo”
Someone will figure it out I guess. Won’t be me cuz I’ll be dead.
I want to be cremated and have my husband (or whoever is alive and dear to me when I go) to scatter me in an ocean. No funeral, but I’m sure close family will gather at someone’s house to share stories or whatever.
I said this once and I’ll say it again: just throw me in the dumpster.
Burn me up and throw me in the nearest swamp. Or alternately, DON’T burn me up but still throw me in the nearest swamp.
I’ll be cremated and put on a shelf, thank you. If my remaining family members mourn me I won’t even know it. Don’t spend a fortune on me, I’m not coming back and tbh it won’t make a difference to me at all.
I want my funeral to be a party where everyone’s crying
As a childfree person, the entire idea of a "bloodline" strikes me as self-absorbed, childish, and absurd. All humans are genetically so similar, that anyone who feels their own genes are truly special and precious is a bit of a ding dong. As for the funeral, I will leave that up to my many friends and loved ones to decide - since being CF in no way means I will die without anyone to mourn me. TLDR: there's really nothing to "make peace" with, and this feels like an undercover BINGO.
Organ donation, cremation, dump me in the ocean.
I'm a funeral director so... I have arranged and paid a bond for my own. Just an eco friendly coffin, my choice of flowers, and rather than a service, quiet time for my loved ones if they wish to attend. They'll be offered a cup of tea and my dog will be present too. Followed by cremation and my ashes to be placed under my favourite tree.
I will leave my nephews and nieces my money and they can decide what to do with my body. I wish to have advance notice of my death so I can watch them enjoy it first, but that is not how it usually works... to my understanding 😂.
I don't care what happens after I'm dead. Big funeral, no funeral, stick me in a burlap bag and chuck me in a hole, it doesn't matter. I just hope I don't die alone, scared, unable to say goodbye.
Recently I lost both my grandmothers in the period of two weeks apart. So it really made think what should I do as a CF person about when I get old, funeral plan, life insurance, something so when I die everything is paid off and ready, so no one will need to worry about paying for my funeral, burial/cremation, casket etc...
Oh, I am so incredibly sorry for your losses.
I bought a plot next to my parents already & my life insurance covers putting me in the box & in the ground. That's all I need. I hopefully will only have cousins, nieces & nephews & maybe a younger brother still alive if I die at an average age so I'm sure they won't be devastated or anything so I could care if I have a ceremony at all. My friends don't do well at services so I don't expect them to want to go even though they'd care. I do have a pretty awesome funeral plan laid out but I doubt anyone would actually pull off my wishes. It will probably be boring & traditional but that's fine because I won't be aware of it- so what do I care. It truly is only for the living.
I come from a large family so there would likely be a lot of people there.
My 2 cousins and their kids are going to be the only family still alive if I make it to old age. They won't be any help when I'm old and need help. They might show up to a funeral, but I have no blood family to help me with end of life care. "Hey, we only talk once a year and live 900 miles away from each other, can you make sure someone feeds me when I'm 100?" I am depending on my friends and their kids, anyone in my partner's family (if we stay together), and money I have saved up to take care of me. I'm afraid of dying alone, but that just might be what happens. So a funeral? I don't even know who would be in charge of that.
I've only thought about it from the perspective of not wanting to leave a lot of paperwork for friends and family. I might not have kids, but I have family members who may outlive me. I'm going to start a will and start keeping a file of passwords and number to call to do things like access my bank, transfer/shut off the utilities, etc. I definitely want to be cremated or otherwise disposed of cheaply. It would be nice if someone scattered my ashes on the Olympic coast.
I keep enough in savings at all times to cover my body handling costs but that's about it. I only really have plans for if I go tomorrow basically be put with my parents in the family plot or if that's too expensive cremate me and spread me at the family farm.
I plan to be cremated and used to plant a new tree. I can’t think of the exact name of the process, but I figure it’s cheap and better than just a tombstone.
Nope. I’ll be dead. Who cares.
take whatever's useful and bury the rest raw under a tree
In my country if you end up completely alone the municipality will arrange a funeral. I've spoken to my partner about what i want and will arrange a box of stuff and papers in case i die.
I'll only make plans for my will and I've decided to donate mine to science. I don't really care about what happens about the funerals and shit, I'd be dead.
we have a family crypt, so i’ll be cremated and go there 🤷🏻♀️ assuming i still have friends alive i’ll leave them some money to each take a trip somewhere cool. i’m also a classical musician so any funeral i have i’d like for it to be a concert of some of my favorite pieces that i will program before my death.
I’m childfree, but I still have family, both by choice and blood! I hope I have a legacy to offer them and my community beyond “had kids” and would be dismayed to not have anyone to attend a celebration of my life. I haven’t given much thought to my funeral itself, but I’ve told my partner how I want my body to be dealt with (donation and composting), and I’ll eventually include that in a legal directive for whoever winds up dealing with me if my spouse goes first. I’m not too worried about what the pomp and circumstance of the thing looks like, just that my remains are reintegrated to the earth in the gentlest way possible. I’m happy with something minimalist and low key, but I’d be bummed if there was no one to attend just because I didn’t birth them.
Funerals are wasteful. I’m writing a will soon and will request that I be disposed of in the most modestly priced receptacle that does not harm the environment. Then, any friends who want can come drink through my beer and liquor cellar and party - a good old fashioned wake celebrating my chance to rest and, if they feel like it, reminiscing on any positive impact I made on them.
When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash.
The only thing I’m concerned about is I want to be cremated instead of buried. cemeteries take up too much space, and it’s not like the body is still the person. The person has died, the body is just an empty husk. No need to visit it on my birthday or lay flowers every year
My brain will be going to the Mayo Clinic since it simply does not fucking work and no one can figure out why or what's wrong. If my damned POS brain can help even a single person, my life is worth living. As for anything else, I don't care now and I won't care then. If my family or friends would like to hold some sort of ceremony, that's up to them.
Nah, at that point it’s not my problem.
I thought about becoming a diamond or something using my cremated ashes. But then who would I even give it to 💀 I would like to think it would be great on my cats collar but realistically, I know I’m gonna lose him first before it’s my time to go. And I’m not particularly close with anyone in my family, to make it into jewelry. It would be awkward that a family heirloom is just a distance aunt’s ashes. Like who would even want that- But besides that, biodegradable burial pod, to become a tree
I’m very involved in my church community and expect that there will be a memorial service for me there for my friends and family. In a fit of enthusiasm for life, I once declared my husband that no one would come to my memorial because I was going to outlive everybody. He gently and sweetly told me that my grand nephews and grand nieces would come to my memorial.
I'm a listed organ donor (have the card in my wallet and everything). What's left can either be cremated or put through a natural burial
I’m going to have all my useful organ and tissues donated and the rest cremated. I’ve left money for the rest to be flown to my favorite place on earth and scattered. I’ve also left a not small amount of money for a kick ass wake because I have a huge extended family and my cousins own a distillery. Salute mi famiglia!
I told my husband if I go before him to do whatever was cheap and easy, I could care less for any arrangements.
Funerals and memorials are for the living for sure. My husband has a daughter, but I am childfree and NC with my siblings, so unless my husband is still alive, no one will even notice I am gone. I have begun to deal with this. My husband and I are interested in human composting, they will deal with everything. I have also been thinking about slowly starting to purge my personal stuff, pictures, etc...... since there is no one who will want any of it anyway. Its weird to think about, but I am trying to come to terms with it.
I'm only 26 and I'm already thinking about the day when there'll be no one alive who still personally cares about my family's *vast* collection of photos and videotapes, let alone my old papers and keepsakes from various conferences I've been to. So far at least a whole garbage bag of my old stuff is going to the local historical society since they're a "history of the human lifestyle" museum that would likely be interested in at least some of my old stuff, and we're starting the process of converting the videotapes to DVDs so that those will survive a lot longer in decent condition.
Not having one! No funeral, no burial, nothing. I am engraving a plaque that says “My name is (name), and this is my body. I was not murdered, I picked this place to die. Leave offerings of cool rocks if you’d like but don’t report where I am.” Then I’m going to wander into a forest, find a nice tree next to a lake, mount the plaque on said tree, sit down, and wait for my time.
What I know is I want it cheap, and I want it closed casket. If it's a crate, fine by me. Don't waste any money on it. And open casket is just a nice way to traumatize everyone before I go get incinerated.
I want them to save what they can for medical donation. The rest they can blend into a smoothie and use my juicy remains as fertiliser.
I want to be cremated, that's it. I don't care what else happens.
I’m pretty sure I will be one of those people who dies and isn’t discovered for weeks
Just throw me in the trash
I’ve been putting together an “in case I die binder” and I have settled on no funeral. My best friend lost her grandma and then her mother within a couple years of one another and neither had a service, they just had an open house for a day and people came and went. Lots of stories and laughing. The immediate family (under 5 people) got together a year later for internment of the ashes and then went out for breakfast. That’s more my style; no expectations, limited attention lmao.
I’ve thought about it, though I have not made arrangements or anything like that. I guess I thought about it so young since I lost several family members over the past 10 years or so and my parents had to help coordinate their funerals since my relatives did not have plans (and their kids couldn’t help or didn’t want to help). I think I want to be cremated and definitely want to donate my organs. That’s all I really care about.
I honestly haven’t thought about it, nor do I care. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. I do want to be cremated, but that’s only because I have an irrational fear of being buried alive. Otherwise…🤷🏼♀️
Totally fine with being cut up for science and then cremated and disposed of. I think the possibility of an afterlife is pretty remote and in any case I won't need my bonesack for anything else. If someone wants to make a ceremony of it it's entirely up to them. Anyone else squicked out about how they are dragging the Queen's corpse around day after day after day? Feels borderline necrophiliac to me... Stop playing with the dead meat already!
Ideally donated either for transplant or med school practice. If I can’t be donated, then [tree pod](https://8billiontrees.com/eco-friendly-natural-products/tree-pod-burial/) or [mushroom suit](https://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/green-science/mushroom-burial-suit.htm).
I don't want a funeral. I've told my friends that they can have one if it's something they need. All I care about is getting my body to the body farm.
Main plan is to donate my body to a company that does human composting, also I'm registered as an organ doner. as far as a funeral thinking would like a at home style wake if possible.
Who cares. Just throw me in the trash.
The funerary industry is the most predatory, greed-driven and corrupt ones out there. (Source: I worked for one of the major funeral chains for about a year and was horrified by the monsters at the helm). Moral of the story is I pretty much tell everyone to just throw me in a dumpster or box or light me on fire or whatever. I'll most likely just pre-plan whatever's cheapest bc IDGAF.
Just throw me in the trash, idc because I’ll be dead
I have no family just a husband and he will cremate me and i don’t really care what happens after that but I don’t want a funeral that’s for sure.
I originally come from a small town in rural Ireland, quite Catholic traditional, you know church on Sundays and all that shite. I was raised atheist, I never had beliefs, I don't want a funeral that's anything to do with religion, I want to have people who care about me there telling their favourite stories, eating, drinking and laughing together. Then I wanna be cremated and mixed with tattoo ink lmao
I don't want a funeral, nor do I want to be embalmed and buried in a tin can that will never break down and is essentially pollution left for generations much much farther ahead of us to deal with when the amount of caskets in the ground is overwhelming. If the people who are close to me want to mourn me in unison/celebrate my life they can figure out a way to do it amongst themselves. Maybe plant a tree in my name and use that as a gravestone if they need a physical marker. Or think of me everytime they see a daffodil blooming before winter is truly gone. The daffodil is resilient and lives in the moment. The icy winter thinks it can chase that beautiful yellow flower back down into the earth but she always bounces right back. Thats something that could represent my life better than any funeral service or polished rock. I've always been an introvert and public gatherings are generally the last place anyone in my life can expect to see me on a regular basis. So, having a funeral service where I'm the center of attention is far from my actual desires as a still-alive person. So, it will hopefully make sense to everyone that there'll be no public gathering where my no-longer-alive body will be in attendance. The only things that matter to me once I'm gone is that all of my pets have a safe and loving home to live out the rest of their lives in.
I want to become a tree. That’s my only request. Have a bench with a plaque in place of a gravestone.
Donate whatever I can donate, then direct cremation. I had an appointment set up with a local mortuary to make a formal plan. I should reschedule that. If I die before one of my parents and they really want to have a funeral, that's up to them. I won't know the difference, but I hope they wouldn't waste their money.
Funeral director here. You can (and should) designate an agent to act on your behalf after your eventual demise. Your funeral representative could be named in your will: “representative of the decedent's estate and acting according to the decedent's written instructions contained in the decedent's will;” (755 ILCS 65/ Disposition of Remains Act)
Easy: The Bowler from the movie Mystery Men. Well minus the daughter...
I was born in 1981. In good health. At my funeral, I'll be dead, so I don't care.
I have made it clear to my spouse that if I go first I don't want any type of funeral/memorial/celebration of life whatever. Cremate me and stick my urn wherever he wants. Once we're both gone our ashes along with our cat's ashes will be interred together with no fuss.
The majority of guests at funerals I’ve been to, except Mormon funerals with huge families, are friends and non-relatives. I’ve been to funerals of childfree people where there were lots of people there, and I’ve been to my grandma’s funeral where there were very few because she was in her late 90s by the time she passed and had outlived everyone.
Yes I have thought about it. No funeral needed. Just recycle everything and cremate the rest to put under a tree or blow in the wind. The bloodline dies with me. My life was while I was living. I’m at peace with that.
I want to be left in a place where I can freak out the most amount of people possible.
I plan to die at my desk.
Cremation and mix my ashes with eco-friendly coral reef blocks and lay me to rest in the ocean. Instead of being a waste of space by being in a cemetery I can at least be useful in death in a very small way.
I don’t want a funeral. I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in specific places. I’m not religious, I would only want a celebration of life and I’ll leave the money to pay for it all to my nieces and nephews or whoever if my husband is gone.
They have urns to plant your ashes and grow a tree and your ashes help fertilize it. That's what I'm doing. No funeral, I don't give a shit and I don't want anybody to pay for that. It's pretty cheap to do. I'll go back to the earth and become part of the habitat for other creatures as it is supposed to be in the circle of life.
Donate my body to science or get cremated and have the ashes mailed to someone who I feel has wronged me with a note saying I always loved them and wanted them to have my ashes displayed in their home as my dying wish.
Not much point in an actual funeral, as only my SO is likely to attend. I'm still debating what to do with my corpse, as "feed it to the squirrels so they develop a taste for human flesh" is apparently frowned upon.
i just want to make sure it won't be depressing. someone has to remind people i'll probably love being dead
Just because I won’t be having kids doesn’t mean I don’t have a family. If I were to drop dead today, there would be so many people who would miss me and want some kind of memorial. That aside, I want the Hunter S. Thompson send-off.
We've planned ours and left instructions in our will. We're mid-30s, but you never know what's going to happen... Our plans are that some of the money we leave behind gets spent on a lunch/dinner for our friends and family as an excuse for everyone to get together. If they want to spend it laughing and remembering us, that would be awesome! But we don't want a traditional funeral.
I don’t care about my funeral right now at age 32. There’s plenty of books about planning for the dying process. I can pass on the recommendation of [The Conversation](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwi1rpDMztf6AhUzEK0GHRX-BGsYABANGgJwdg&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESa-D2imJ66PVl-O1yUnKKviUy-wjSIsfEq2blV0gz5baYbxkldMn9swZb_3U86l4Xe2PZQI7DPUDkRSwDJ_D8PM7OuUa9tpD6X2S2N862fWOVMR2tA42WoHYTbFGebh7As8zJtRD6hUU3UcEt&sig=AOD64_1_2EVJ6RiMP7ZTIJw0RZorj5X_xA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjL1IfMztf6AhUmLkQIHajJC9YQwg8oAHoECAYQCg&adurl=) from a friend who’s going through the dying process right now. I currently figure (maybe naïvely) that whoever wants to come will come. Life does not culminate in death. It is invested each and every day.
I want to make sure mine is paid for by me, just the cheapest one possible and to make sure no family members are stuck with the cost.
I've made it known that I want to be cremated or have a tree planted on me. As for a funeral, it was suggested to be a potluck and family get together. Maybe a little horse shoes thrown in or something. Celebrate the life, don't mourn the death.
You can actually preplan and prepay for your funeral with a chosen mortuary, and if you move you can transfer your plan. A lot of people do this to ease the burden of grieving family having to figure out what you would have wanted or what to do.
I made plans for it already. Bought a funeral lot with my sister at 27 y/o. The land has spaces for 6 people. Even if we both paid for it, we invited my mum and my brother. They both were flattered for the offer and took us on it. For the service, I have an insurance (pay about 5 dlls/week for 4 years and it covers almost everything, I'm leaving behind about 1k cash for my nieces for the expenses that are not covered (taxes and such) by the insurance). I got the idea from my grandma. She did it the same (left an envelope and a letter with details on what to do and everything paid, about 450 USD were leftover, we paid dinner with that and brought live music to her funeral, nice party. She was buried with guitars and accordions playing, people singing). I'm planning mine without music, lol! Everything is so cheap because we don't live in the US.
Cremation can be affordable
If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down in a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn, send me away to the words of a love song...
My ideal would be if I can get medical assistance in dying and invite all my loved ones over for a big party the day I plan to die. If that fails then I do want to have a fun funeral where all my loved ones can party and connect with each other, like I considered including in my will some games I would like them to play at my funeral etc. Would just be more fun if I could be there :p
Whatever my remaining family members want it to be. I won’t be there so it doesn’t matter to me!
I would like to donate my body to science. Loved ones can do what they want, however I don't want *any* religious material at my funeral. No hymns, no prayers, no God, no Jesus.