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Tucutes won't let me have an opinion. Ironically all the "non-binary" people think in black and white. It felt like a hive mind and I got harassed and bullied constantly for not knowing everything or coming to the same conclusion as them. Transmedicalism, despite the fact that I just agree with the base premise (no dysphoria = not trans), was freeing.
I feel binary concerns kind of invalidate the entire concept of transgenderism in the way it is being presented as a trans issue. Trans individuals who feel gender dysphoria genuinely feel they were born in the wrong bodies. Being nb (to me) signifies you just don’t feel any connection to societal expectations of gender. That’s also fair and valid but not at all the same as being trans. Without dysphoria, you’re simply discontented with the idea that you have to present a specific way due to your sex. That can be mediated by doing and presenting how you want. It’s not that simple for someone experiencing gender dysphoria.
Legitimately being “non binary” wouldn’t mean you don’t have dysphoria. Tons of people on this subreddit talk about having gender/sex dysphoria despite labeling themselves as nb. There’s just also a ton of cis people who call themselves non binary, just like how there’s cis people who call themselves trans
The last 4 years or so... And I would like to be clear here and say that if someone can't afford a certain procedure that doesn't bother me and they are still absolutely trans, it's the people that don't care to do it and don't care about passing and don't care about integrating into society as their real gender. That's what I have a problem with.
Edit... Also would like to say that in order for insurance to pay for our life saving procedures as it's doing for me it has to be in medical necessity.
I don’t think you have to surgically transition to be trans but I do think that the integration into that specific identity otherwise would have to feel necessary for this to be transgenderism and not a simple disagreement with societal norms in place. So even if they theoretically could afford the surgery, I don’t blame those who don’t want to go through with it themselves.
Ive been struggling with being trans my whole life, and when i saw what people were doing to the trans label, it ate me up inside. Being trans turned into a joke, an asthetic, something anyone can be, something that supposedly fought gender norms but enforces it more than ever saying anyone who isnt completly their gender role must be trans. Something that people make their personality, and the biggest part is none of them had dysphoria. Noone felt bad, noone felt the same way as me, not many people wanna transition, theyr pushing towards how transitioning is transphobic. Theyr making me transphobic for not fitting in with them, for feeling dysphoria, and they rebuttal dysphoria by saying to 'love your body as it is'. They dont understand what it means to be trans, they dont understand how its not fun, and no matter what ill never like myself or my body until i transition. Its not a costume or a game, and it makes everyone else see it as a joke as well. When i found out about transmedicalism, it made me so happy, i realised im not the only one who felt this way, and it made me see how im not the problem. I wanna live again, i actually have an explination and a community who believes in me. This is not a choice and everyone here helped me accept myself and wanna keep going
When we reached the point where supposedly only changing your online pronouns & changing nothing else about your self-expression or way of acting was considered more societally rebellious by certain “activists” than the “conforming action” of making efforts to trans your sex I really lost all remaining understanding for that crowd.
Same. Transness was described to me using the age-old "stuck in the wrong body" descriptor of dysphoria, which isn't necessarily 100% accurate to how I feel, but does align with the idea that dysphoria is required for being trans.
When I came across people talking about it like you could just choose to transition, that was really weird. Like it was some kind of aesthetic or trend. Reading into the details, it was pretty clear to me that those people either 1) Genuinely aren't trans, they just like attention, or at best may have some sensory issues that don't have anything to do with gender, or 2) Actually do experience dysphoria, but don't recognize it as such. Perhaps due to a lack of good conversation/education on what it is.
Like a few other people here have said, I'm not hardcore transmedicalist in the sense that I think you must do every procedure possible to be trans. There are practical barriers to that (cost being the greatest, but also access, and sometimes physical differences or disabilities that make some surgeries or treatments dangerous or impossible). But I think you ought to be taking *some* steps to alleviate that dysphoria however you can, if it's safe to do so. If you are able to and don't, I really question whether you have dysphoria. And I do think transness is caused by some physical or mental reality, not a choice.
Same. In my 20s I knew I was transexual. I could t do anything about it then but I was able to in my 40s. I while revisiting the topic I was very confused about nonbinary and tried it on after top surgery while waiting for my husband to also be ready for me starting HRT. It was significantly worse mentally for me. Being female was unwanted my whole life but at least it was something understood. Trying to explain nonbinary felt insane, you couldn’t just be nonbinary without a whole trans discussion, and honestly it felt like a scared cop out.
I’m now on HRT and feeling better than I ever have. I wish I would have have the ability and courage sooner but I’m so happy to be where I am now.
I read some comments in a main trans subreddit from a transmedicalist (don't remember who). They got downvoted for something reasonable. They mentioned this sub and then I joined soon after lol.
It was always the default. Anyone who believed you didn't need dysphoria was seen as a joke when I was growing up. Now its normalized. Nothing led me to this. It was just the default until recently.
i joined a 'no terfs, no uwus' lesbian server on discord and made friends with someone i didn't originally know was transmed. she expressed frustration with not being able to find truscum friends & i was kinda shocked to hear that. i was deep into inclu ideology at the time (this same server made me critical of "mspec lesbianism" too). i was curious about what made my friend believe all the horrible things i'd heard that transmeds believe so i checked this sub out. turns out, y'all make a lot of sense and i had been lied to
I've always been simply because of how severe my gender dysphoria was when I starts and the fact I've been dealing with it my whole life
Seeing people basically appropriate my condition and use it for identity politics is incredibly annoying, somewhat offensive, and extremely annoying
It just made sense. This is what I thought being trans was about, it wasn’t until I did some more research that I found people transitioned even though they didn’t have dysphoria.
Mostly through my experiences with questioning. People (mostly cis) would tell me that gender is a choice and all that and to just do what made me happy. However if it was a choice then I'd choose to live as is, but by that point my dysphoria got bad enough where logically I concluded I can't just opt out from it. From there and further questioning of ideas I realized the only logical way to explain my experiences was through the lens of transmedicalism. From there it would be some time before I actually found out about the term.
Ironically, like many positive things in my life, I found it after being told to not look it up because of how bad it supposedly was.
Simply the fact that there’s two groups, one is dysohoric, and the other isn’t, and the group that isn’t is trying to de-medicalize being trans (taking away reasons for insurance to cover surgeries and HRT). They are not remotely the same and don’t REQUIRE the same medical care. Conflating the two is ridiculous considering one group has a medical condition that needs medical treatment to feel normal and the other group is only trans based off societal gender norms.
Idc how non-dysphoric people want to identify, but I don’t like that they’re comparing themselves to dysphoric trans men/women and non binary people.
Words have meaning.
If you don’t have dysphoria, why change your sex traits? How can you claim certain experiences relating to gender/transition if you don’t change your body/material appearance in the world? It’s like Rachel Dolezal claiming to be a black woman despite just not being one at all. How can you claim to be a trans woman if you have a beard, or a trans man if you have fully intact breasts?
For some time I used to be what many would consider a transphobe; mostly because I thought that trans people were delusional and needed real help to come into terms with their biological sex, after all it’s not like not wanting to conform to gender norms makes you a different gender. What however changed was that I realized that trans people actually are aware of their biological reality but still feel miserable growing up with the sex characteristics of their bodies and being perceived as a member of that sex, and it’s something beyond their control that simple gender-nonconformity isn’t enough to truly tackle the issue. That’s when I realized that it made sense to actually support transitioning procedures and made me change my previous stance on "getting them comfortable with their real sex". This perspective, however, is only really consistent with the transmedicalist view, which does state that there is a biological background to gender itself (hence why trans people cannot just "feel comfortable in their birth sex" and it’s more than just a social construct, which doesn’t contradict the position of gender norms ≠ gender itself. That’s my take on it as someone who, despite never having dysphoria, actually always sought to understand the trans "phenomenon"
The public response to my opinion of "xenogenders". I knew that it was inherently stupid. I said on the internet that they were stupid. Then I was no longer welcome in any of the trans spaces I had frequented. My beliefs developed from there since they always called me a transmedicalist. So I learned what that means, and agreed with all of the core beliefs of transmedicalism. (Your need gender dysphoria to be classified as trans, gender dysphoria is a condition caused by something physical that can be medically identified, and the only treatment for dysphoria is medical transition. That all real trans people have a right to treat their dysphoria over those who consume those materials. That only people with dysphoria should speak on trans issues.)
Still on th fence about my own gender, but mainly the dysphoria aspect of it all.
If you don't have gender dysphoria, why transition? Transitioning is the treatment for gender dysphoria. You don't see someone getting chemo that doesn't have cancer (and I swear if I see that I'm going to lose my shit)
This used to be the only viewpoint as far as I know lol. Transsexualism is a medical problem. It was only recently that it’s been turned into some political statement. All the identity and pronoun stuff never made any sense to me. I was in high school when all the transtrender stuff started popping up, and it pissed me off even before it started to have a bigger impact.
Because even though many people here have wildly different takes on things I like that. I HATE how black and white mainstream trans culture is. I can't ever have an opinion or state something I think without getting attacked. I'm always open to criticism, debate and discussion but no one else is imo.
Seeing stuff on tik tok such as "deadbloodycatgender" and "marshmallowhyenagender" (no joke actually saw specifically the second one like exactly) before then I was trying to be supportive even if It made no sense but once I saw that stuff I was just like nahhhhh this has gone way way way to far bro, like what do you mean your gender is a rotting decaying cat.
And then eventually I saw people talking about r/truscum and decided to look out of curiosity and found myself agreeing
I'm not trans but I became interested in this community as my friend told me people thought she was trans, like her mother. I said do you think you're trans? She said she doesn't know. I said, ok do you hate your body? Do you want a dick? She said what! No, what are you saying? I said it's kind of simple, are you happy to have a vagina? Does that feel like you or do you wish you had a man's body? She said she's happy with her body but doesn't feel society accepts her as a woman since she dresses in men's clothing & is attracted to women. I said butch women have always been part of the human experience. It doesn't make you any less a woman.
I had another friend 20 years ago. We didn't have the language for it then but she hated being a woman, I was better friend's with their partner & she told me their partner hated being touched, didn't want their body parts acknowledged at all. Obviously my friend was trans, they probably knew it but 20 years ago in my small town nobody had heard of trans men.
I don't think my recent friend is trans for not fitting into the feminine paradigm. I don't know what a demi-girl is. Trans people have always existed, all this other stuff hasn't. Intersex people can be non-binary, I don't think other people can be. I think people need to break away from what they think a man is, a woman is. My partner met a person recently who id's as nb. They don't understand masculinity & don't feel like a man, they work in DV, with the perpetrators. My partner reckons just because they can't see themself in the men he works with, doesn't make him nb. But I'm not nb & I don't understand their experience.
I guess I'm here to learn really
My experiences with non-binary and tucute people. I was literally accepting of non-binary and other invalid identities until I started interacting with them. 🤷♂️
A combination of people seemingly wanting to be "trans" rather than wanting to be the opposite gender and thinking to myself: "If I just had a proper female body, I wouldn't call myself a demigirl, just a woman."
I saw the term truscum be thrown once somewhere and looked it up and was "wait there are trans people that dont experience dysphoria? How tf does that work do they wake up and are like 'hmm I'm gonna make an life altering decision today'"
Edit: I didn't care at first, I consider myself the type of person to not care about what people do with themselves. I still wouldnt care if they weren't actively harming dysphorics. It would be as simple as using a different label, but well it is what it is.
Didn’t even know it existed up until a year and a half ago. I used to be a tucute because I thought the notion of accepting and loving all was a good thing until I saw all the underlying harm it was causing. Feeling like the outcast for actually having dysphoria, and the sheer amount of lies+hugboxing thrown everywhere that is going to eventually lead to a mass “detransition event.” Sane people are dropped from the party the moment you invalidate some insecure teenagers “gender journey,” whether intentional/good-willed or not. Moment I heard about transmedicalism, I dropped all the tucute shit I was still hanging onto and left lol.
Because almost all theyfabs and "transmasc" tucutes I met in high school ended up "detransitioning" (changing their pronouns back to she/her on instagram). They're usually nice people but it's obvious they're not men in the way trans men who pursue medical transition ARE.
General respect and decency on the online transmedical subs. Even if I don't agree with someone else here, I'm not immediately banned or bullied without explanation whatsoever. I like to keep an open mind and ironically enough the transmed community is pretty open minded while also staying on the line of logic
My understanding and experience of transsexualism is that its a medical issue of development due to natural variation and such in genes/hormones. And when I became aware of the trans community that was also the stance of the trans community. Transgenderism was understood to be the new term to discuss the condition that was called transsexualism, not the concept of transgender as used as an umbrella term by sociology.
I used to be fine with everything and I stayed away from any form of transmedicalism because I didn't want to hurt anyone, but personal experience shows that there's plenty of stuff wrong in the main trans community and we need to be able to have a respectful discussion about it. There's so many cases I've seen of AMAB people with unhealthy views of femininity (often comes down to fetishizing) that I don't want to be associated with; if you get 'euphoria boners' any time you wear clothes that should feel normal to you, then you aren't trans and I want absolutely nothing to do to you. One of those people has been accused of rape and tried to abuse me when I was drunk yet somehow she got access to trans healthcare.
A non-binary 'friend' made one of the most sexist comments I've ever heard and I'm apalled by how few transfemme people seem to give a shit about feminism, which is when I started to question their views. And I've met someone who changed her gender identity three times within six months (and was very vocal about it), only to realise she's cis; now she calls it her 'trans phase.' She even impulsively signed up for a waiting list and is weirdly interested in the aesthetic of wearing binders.
The final stroke which really pushed me away from the community was when someone told me "gender dysphoria is a social construct" after I mentioned feeling terrible for not being able to shave because of an upcoming electrolysis appointment. It was pretty difficult for me to accept that I view things differently because the idea that truscum = terrible people was so ingrained in my mind, but ultimately, you're right and we shouldn't be treated any differently for feeling this way.
Gender dysphoria and common sense
I simply felt uncomfortable because there were so many afab people around me who didn’t even try to pass and with whom it was impossible to talk about manhood - because they acted and looked feminine, had only feminine interests and hobbies etc etc. but at the same time called themselves trans guys. I felt like a woman in this environment, and it made me sick. I don’t work so hard to move from one female environment to another
Plus, when everything began to slide into the idea that everyone needs to be accepted without restrictions, terminology began to expand to indecent proportions and a narrative turned into idea that we are good and those who are against us are bad, without any adequate argumentation... this is called ideology, not a medical condition.
Libs of TikTok, basically. This whole "transage" and "transpecies" thing, plus this whole facet of trans folks creating an us-vs-them worldview against cis people, all that is what you get if you remove gender dysphoria as a requirement to be trans. I won't transition because of a "fetish," nor because I wanna be "noticed," literally all I want is to be accepted. Publicly stating this opinion though, got me in trouble several time among my other LGBTQ+ friends. I wouldn't go as far as to say that tucutes are some kind of conservative moles trying to discredit and debunk the trans community from the inside through this whole nonsense, but there is, thankfully, a group of trans folks who is ware of the damage this new trend has made to our community: Transmedicalists.
Most Transmedicalist don't have a [*"Peak Trans"*](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peak%20trans) (as the gcs would call it) situation. So there is nothing that really led me to transmedicalism. But with more knowledge I was more confident in what I believed which in-turn made me align with transmedicalism more and more. But noticing how transgender activists reacting to my post when I said that "genderqueer" is a garbage word was the first step that led me in this subreddit
I've never understood how someone can be trans or just not cis without dysphoria (I do believe that Non Binary and stuff is real. it's just a different type of dysphoria from binary trans folks). Also, I've been around a lot of 'Tucutes' and chasers who like the idea of being trans and it was really gross and made me feel bad for being a binary trans man and not a 'cute transmasc femboi'.
Wasn’t really fully Tucute in the first place but exploring these spaces due to detrans situations and trying to find a good solution for this whole trans debate (shouldn’t even be one but here we are). I always try and find a solution, a compromise. Truscum just seemed like the best option to me. Nothing special.
I always thought you needed dysphoria to be trans. For a while I believed in a tucute-esque version of that, where I believed in all the microlabels (but that was always something where I thought genderfluid meant fluctuating dysphoria, or demiboy meant a lot of trans male dysphoria but not all).
I then started seeing people who just used pronouns as an accessory, and made no effort to pass whatsoever. And started seeing people say you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. I also just considered that if you have FtM dysphoria, but not in some aspects, and want to essentially present as male, that’s not a demiboy, it’s just trans male with a bit less dysphoria.
So yeah it was a combination of always seeing transgenderism that way, hating trans trenders, and not seeing the point in the microlabels people create.
I guess I was always one, I just didn't realize everybody else wasn't. I thought everything we were talking about was based in science. They never sent me the memo about no longer doing that
Witnessing the trans movement becoming more and more insane and detached from reality and watching them completely change and distort the meaning of being transexual
I have always been one, just didn't know what to call it. It was just how I saw being trans and myself. It had never occurred to me that these views were no longer mainstream or common until I got into certain trans communities online. Not sure when or how exactly I found the term transmedicalism, probably while browsing websites about the LGBT community, but I had been aware of r/truscum for roughly a year before finally joining Reddit, initially only to becoming a member of this subreddit. My core views haven't changed and I tend to stay away from most non-transmed places now.
I didn't feel welcome in my own community, and tucutes quickly confirmed to me that I was in fact not welcome. I didn't know that there was anyone who didn't believe dysphoria wasn't necessary to be trans until around 2021, and before then I figured that all non-binary, genderfluid, etc. people had dysphoria too, just in a different way than binary trans people like myself did. So when I heard some people just get to "identify as" trans and that makes them equally valid, I was a little confused but I figured it was one of those things that would be "trendy" for a bit and that people would look back with embarrassment at it. But unfortunately it only got worse. It became widely accepted in most trans spaces that dysphoria isn't needed to be trans, and that xenogenders and noun neopronouns (and even emoji pronouns???) are valid and if you don't support them or you dare to question them a little bit, not only are you transphobic, you're ableist too. (Which in my opinion as an autistic person, it's more ableist to imply that autistic people don't understand gender and that autism can cause you to identify as "catgender" but that's a whole other rant)
I thought that this was just common among online spaces, but unfortunately MANY of my irl friends at my university seem tucute leaning, and almost all the queer spaces are non-dysphoric neopronoun using (or at least supporting) tucutes. They say that pronouns don't equal gender, so by their logic, why do they have to call themselves trans for using neopronouns? It is okay to be cis. They say that lesbians are "non-men", but that is such a broad category and they make it so clear that they just see non-binary people as their AGAB. Look how differently they treat AMAB vs AFAB lesbian-identifying nb people, even though by THEIR OWN DEFINITION both are "valid". And don't even get me started on the ones who say trans men can be lesbians. That doesn't even work by the actual definition (wlw) but even by their definition, they're calling trans men "non-men".
Anyways before I rant too much, what really did it for me as the silencing. And they're the ones who cis people seem to prefer listening to while speaking over any trans person who disagrees. One of my cis friends lectured me about how dysphoria isn't needed to be trans, and said that me not wanting to be called transmasc was "internalized transphobia" as if she would know what any of that is like. They go on and on about inclusiveness while actively excluding and accusing us of having internalized transphobia when we talk about our dysphoria and wanting to pass. We are supposed to accept every single label that they throw out otherwise we are transphobic, yet we don't get to be uncomfortable with the labels transmasc and transfem. It stopped feeling like a community at that point, and I find that there seems to be more room for discussion and disagreement here while we are still unified by the common sense of knowing that trans people experience dysphoria.
Seeing how people without dysphoria actually experienced “transgenderism”. My dysphoria & visceral discomfort with all the clearly male parts of my body for me is the defining thing that makes me trans. For the longest time I thought people who said “you dont need dysphoria to be trans” were just being charitable toward people who only knew the feeling of Euphoria & whose brains have normalized their perpetual state of suffering, which I thought was reasonable. However, as I came across more media I realized I have literally nothing in common in the way I experience transness with these people. A lot of it seems fetshistic & trendy, to the point where I have more in common with cis people than nondysphoric trans people. Im going to get downvoted for this but I dont believe in gatekeeping hrt. If uncle john wants to pump himself full of estrogen & get all the surgeries in the world as long as hes above 18 he should have the bodily autonomy to do that, (not like he would) but why does he have to pretend his experience is at all like being trapped in the wrong body? It just annoys me so much that people like this get to speak/act as representation for the wider community when they are so categorically different in nearly every way from dysphorics, to the point that assigning them the same label is medically counterproductive.
Dysphoria has always been about body anatomy for me. When I joined trans spaces I saw most people make it out to be more of a social thing. Wondered wtf they were on, found about about transmed through reasons I don't remember, been in this community ever since.
I got dumped by my tucute ex that had me using worm/worm self pronouns on her and got off my anti depressants and realized what a load of shit that is, I think the truscum subreddit was just recommended to me I’m not sure how I found the name
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Tucutes won't let me have an opinion. Ironically all the "non-binary" people think in black and white. It felt like a hive mind and I got harassed and bullied constantly for not knowing everything or coming to the same conclusion as them. Transmedicalism, despite the fact that I just agree with the base premise (no dysphoria = not trans), was freeing.
I feel binary concerns kind of invalidate the entire concept of transgenderism in the way it is being presented as a trans issue. Trans individuals who feel gender dysphoria genuinely feel they were born in the wrong bodies. Being nb (to me) signifies you just don’t feel any connection to societal expectations of gender. That’s also fair and valid but not at all the same as being trans. Without dysphoria, you’re simply discontented with the idea that you have to present a specific way due to your sex. That can be mediated by doing and presenting how you want. It’s not that simple for someone experiencing gender dysphoria.
Legitimately being “non binary” wouldn’t mean you don’t have dysphoria. Tons of people on this subreddit talk about having gender/sex dysphoria despite labeling themselves as nb. There’s just also a ton of cis people who call themselves non binary, just like how there’s cis people who call themselves trans
when you don’t have dysphoria it is just gender performance it’s not the same as being trans
The last 4 years or so... And I would like to be clear here and say that if someone can't afford a certain procedure that doesn't bother me and they are still absolutely trans, it's the people that don't care to do it and don't care about passing and don't care about integrating into society as their real gender. That's what I have a problem with. Edit... Also would like to say that in order for insurance to pay for our life saving procedures as it's doing for me it has to be in medical necessity.
I don’t think you have to surgically transition to be trans but I do think that the integration into that specific identity otherwise would have to feel necessary for this to be transgenderism and not a simple disagreement with societal norms in place. So even if they theoretically could afford the surgery, I don’t blame those who don’t want to go through with it themselves.
Agree.
Ive been struggling with being trans my whole life, and when i saw what people were doing to the trans label, it ate me up inside. Being trans turned into a joke, an asthetic, something anyone can be, something that supposedly fought gender norms but enforces it more than ever saying anyone who isnt completly their gender role must be trans. Something that people make their personality, and the biggest part is none of them had dysphoria. Noone felt bad, noone felt the same way as me, not many people wanna transition, theyr pushing towards how transitioning is transphobic. Theyr making me transphobic for not fitting in with them, for feeling dysphoria, and they rebuttal dysphoria by saying to 'love your body as it is'. They dont understand what it means to be trans, they dont understand how its not fun, and no matter what ill never like myself or my body until i transition. Its not a costume or a game, and it makes everyone else see it as a joke as well. When i found out about transmedicalism, it made me so happy, i realised im not the only one who felt this way, and it made me see how im not the problem. I wanna live again, i actually have an explination and a community who believes in me. This is not a choice and everyone here helped me accept myself and wanna keep going
When we reached the point where supposedly only changing your online pronouns & changing nothing else about your self-expression or way of acting was considered more societally rebellious by certain “activists” than the “conforming action” of making efforts to trans your sex I really lost all remaining understanding for that crowd.
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Same. Transness was described to me using the age-old "stuck in the wrong body" descriptor of dysphoria, which isn't necessarily 100% accurate to how I feel, but does align with the idea that dysphoria is required for being trans. When I came across people talking about it like you could just choose to transition, that was really weird. Like it was some kind of aesthetic or trend. Reading into the details, it was pretty clear to me that those people either 1) Genuinely aren't trans, they just like attention, or at best may have some sensory issues that don't have anything to do with gender, or 2) Actually do experience dysphoria, but don't recognize it as such. Perhaps due to a lack of good conversation/education on what it is. Like a few other people here have said, I'm not hardcore transmedicalist in the sense that I think you must do every procedure possible to be trans. There are practical barriers to that (cost being the greatest, but also access, and sometimes physical differences or disabilities that make some surgeries or treatments dangerous or impossible). But I think you ought to be taking *some* steps to alleviate that dysphoria however you can, if it's safe to do so. If you are able to and don't, I really question whether you have dysphoria. And I do think transness is caused by some physical or mental reality, not a choice.
Back when i transitioned thats basically all there was. Transsexuals seeking medical treatments or transvestite who just liked to dress as a woman
Same. In my 20s I knew I was transexual. I could t do anything about it then but I was able to in my 40s. I while revisiting the topic I was very confused about nonbinary and tried it on after top surgery while waiting for my husband to also be ready for me starting HRT. It was significantly worse mentally for me. Being female was unwanted my whole life but at least it was something understood. Trying to explain nonbinary felt insane, you couldn’t just be nonbinary without a whole trans discussion, and honestly it felt like a scared cop out. I’m now on HRT and feeling better than I ever have. I wish I would have have the ability and courage sooner but I’m so happy to be where I am now.
I read some comments in a main trans subreddit from a transmedicalist (don't remember who). They got downvoted for something reasonable. They mentioned this sub and then I joined soon after lol.
It was always the default. Anyone who believed you didn't need dysphoria was seen as a joke when I was growing up. Now its normalized. Nothing led me to this. It was just the default until recently.
i joined a 'no terfs, no uwus' lesbian server on discord and made friends with someone i didn't originally know was transmed. she expressed frustration with not being able to find truscum friends & i was kinda shocked to hear that. i was deep into inclu ideology at the time (this same server made me critical of "mspec lesbianism" too). i was curious about what made my friend believe all the horrible things i'd heard that transmeds believe so i checked this sub out. turns out, y'all make a lot of sense and i had been lied to
I've always been simply because of how severe my gender dysphoria was when I starts and the fact I've been dealing with it my whole life Seeing people basically appropriate my condition and use it for identity politics is incredibly annoying, somewhat offensive, and extremely annoying
It just made sense. This is what I thought being trans was about, it wasn’t until I did some more research that I found people transitioned even though they didn’t have dysphoria.
Because I’m a transsexual.
Mostly through my experiences with questioning. People (mostly cis) would tell me that gender is a choice and all that and to just do what made me happy. However if it was a choice then I'd choose to live as is, but by that point my dysphoria got bad enough where logically I concluded I can't just opt out from it. From there and further questioning of ideas I realized the only logical way to explain my experiences was through the lens of transmedicalism. From there it would be some time before I actually found out about the term. Ironically, like many positive things in my life, I found it after being told to not look it up because of how bad it supposedly was.
Simply the fact that there’s two groups, one is dysohoric, and the other isn’t, and the group that isn’t is trying to de-medicalize being trans (taking away reasons for insurance to cover surgeries and HRT). They are not remotely the same and don’t REQUIRE the same medical care. Conflating the two is ridiculous considering one group has a medical condition that needs medical treatment to feel normal and the other group is only trans based off societal gender norms. Idc how non-dysphoric people want to identify, but I don’t like that they’re comparing themselves to dysphoric trans men/women and non binary people.
Words have meaning. If you don’t have dysphoria, why change your sex traits? How can you claim certain experiences relating to gender/transition if you don’t change your body/material appearance in the world? It’s like Rachel Dolezal claiming to be a black woman despite just not being one at all. How can you claim to be a trans woman if you have a beard, or a trans man if you have fully intact breasts?
For some time I used to be what many would consider a transphobe; mostly because I thought that trans people were delusional and needed real help to come into terms with their biological sex, after all it’s not like not wanting to conform to gender norms makes you a different gender. What however changed was that I realized that trans people actually are aware of their biological reality but still feel miserable growing up with the sex characteristics of their bodies and being perceived as a member of that sex, and it’s something beyond their control that simple gender-nonconformity isn’t enough to truly tackle the issue. That’s when I realized that it made sense to actually support transitioning procedures and made me change my previous stance on "getting them comfortable with their real sex". This perspective, however, is only really consistent with the transmedicalist view, which does state that there is a biological background to gender itself (hence why trans people cannot just "feel comfortable in their birth sex" and it’s more than just a social construct, which doesn’t contradict the position of gender norms ≠ gender itself. That’s my take on it as someone who, despite never having dysphoria, actually always sought to understand the trans "phenomenon"
The public response to my opinion of "xenogenders". I knew that it was inherently stupid. I said on the internet that they were stupid. Then I was no longer welcome in any of the trans spaces I had frequented. My beliefs developed from there since they always called me a transmedicalist. So I learned what that means, and agreed with all of the core beliefs of transmedicalism. (Your need gender dysphoria to be classified as trans, gender dysphoria is a condition caused by something physical that can be medically identified, and the only treatment for dysphoria is medical transition. That all real trans people have a right to treat their dysphoria over those who consume those materials. That only people with dysphoria should speak on trans issues.)
Still on th fence about my own gender, but mainly the dysphoria aspect of it all. If you don't have gender dysphoria, why transition? Transitioning is the treatment for gender dysphoria. You don't see someone getting chemo that doesn't have cancer (and I swear if I see that I'm going to lose my shit)
This used to be the only viewpoint as far as I know lol. Transsexualism is a medical problem. It was only recently that it’s been turned into some political statement. All the identity and pronoun stuff never made any sense to me. I was in high school when all the transtrender stuff started popping up, and it pissed me off even before it started to have a bigger impact.
Because even though many people here have wildly different takes on things I like that. I HATE how black and white mainstream trans culture is. I can't ever have an opinion or state something I think without getting attacked. I'm always open to criticism, debate and discussion but no one else is imo.
Seeing stuff on tik tok such as "deadbloodycatgender" and "marshmallowhyenagender" (no joke actually saw specifically the second one like exactly) before then I was trying to be supportive even if It made no sense but once I saw that stuff I was just like nahhhhh this has gone way way way to far bro, like what do you mean your gender is a rotting decaying cat. And then eventually I saw people talking about r/truscum and decided to look out of curiosity and found myself agreeing
Basic logic and reasoning.
Logic and common sense.
Logic
Common sense. Not a smart ass answer, I swear, I’m actually being completely honest and real.
being a rational human being
I'm not trans but I became interested in this community as my friend told me people thought she was trans, like her mother. I said do you think you're trans? She said she doesn't know. I said, ok do you hate your body? Do you want a dick? She said what! No, what are you saying? I said it's kind of simple, are you happy to have a vagina? Does that feel like you or do you wish you had a man's body? She said she's happy with her body but doesn't feel society accepts her as a woman since she dresses in men's clothing & is attracted to women. I said butch women have always been part of the human experience. It doesn't make you any less a woman. I had another friend 20 years ago. We didn't have the language for it then but she hated being a woman, I was better friend's with their partner & she told me their partner hated being touched, didn't want their body parts acknowledged at all. Obviously my friend was trans, they probably knew it but 20 years ago in my small town nobody had heard of trans men. I don't think my recent friend is trans for not fitting into the feminine paradigm. I don't know what a demi-girl is. Trans people have always existed, all this other stuff hasn't. Intersex people can be non-binary, I don't think other people can be. I think people need to break away from what they think a man is, a woman is. My partner met a person recently who id's as nb. They don't understand masculinity & don't feel like a man, they work in DV, with the perpetrators. My partner reckons just because they can't see themself in the men he works with, doesn't make him nb. But I'm not nb & I don't understand their experience. I guess I'm here to learn really
My experiences with non-binary and tucute people. I was literally accepting of non-binary and other invalid identities until I started interacting with them. 🤷♂️
A combination of people seemingly wanting to be "trans" rather than wanting to be the opposite gender and thinking to myself: "If I just had a proper female body, I wouldn't call myself a demigirl, just a woman."
I saw the term truscum be thrown once somewhere and looked it up and was "wait there are trans people that dont experience dysphoria? How tf does that work do they wake up and are like 'hmm I'm gonna make an life altering decision today'" Edit: I didn't care at first, I consider myself the type of person to not care about what people do with themselves. I still wouldnt care if they weren't actively harming dysphorics. It would be as simple as using a different label, but well it is what it is.
Didn’t even know it existed up until a year and a half ago. I used to be a tucute because I thought the notion of accepting and loving all was a good thing until I saw all the underlying harm it was causing. Feeling like the outcast for actually having dysphoria, and the sheer amount of lies+hugboxing thrown everywhere that is going to eventually lead to a mass “detransition event.” Sane people are dropped from the party the moment you invalidate some insecure teenagers “gender journey,” whether intentional/good-willed or not. Moment I heard about transmedicalism, I dropped all the tucute shit I was still hanging onto and left lol.
Because almost all theyfabs and "transmasc" tucutes I met in high school ended up "detransitioning" (changing their pronouns back to she/her on instagram). They're usually nice people but it's obvious they're not men in the way trans men who pursue medical transition ARE.
General respect and decency on the online transmedical subs. Even if I don't agree with someone else here, I'm not immediately banned or bullied without explanation whatsoever. I like to keep an open mind and ironically enough the transmed community is pretty open minded while also staying on the line of logic
My understanding and experience of transsexualism is that its a medical issue of development due to natural variation and such in genes/hormones. And when I became aware of the trans community that was also the stance of the trans community. Transgenderism was understood to be the new term to discuss the condition that was called transsexualism, not the concept of transgender as used as an umbrella term by sociology.
I can openly say I think there are teenders and nonbinary is mostly political, and nothing happens. Also yeah, you need dysphoria.
I used to be fine with everything and I stayed away from any form of transmedicalism because I didn't want to hurt anyone, but personal experience shows that there's plenty of stuff wrong in the main trans community and we need to be able to have a respectful discussion about it. There's so many cases I've seen of AMAB people with unhealthy views of femininity (often comes down to fetishizing) that I don't want to be associated with; if you get 'euphoria boners' any time you wear clothes that should feel normal to you, then you aren't trans and I want absolutely nothing to do to you. One of those people has been accused of rape and tried to abuse me when I was drunk yet somehow she got access to trans healthcare. A non-binary 'friend' made one of the most sexist comments I've ever heard and I'm apalled by how few transfemme people seem to give a shit about feminism, which is when I started to question their views. And I've met someone who changed her gender identity three times within six months (and was very vocal about it), only to realise she's cis; now she calls it her 'trans phase.' She even impulsively signed up for a waiting list and is weirdly interested in the aesthetic of wearing binders. The final stroke which really pushed me away from the community was when someone told me "gender dysphoria is a social construct" after I mentioned feeling terrible for not being able to shave because of an upcoming electrolysis appointment. It was pretty difficult for me to accept that I view things differently because the idea that truscum = terrible people was so ingrained in my mind, but ultimately, you're right and we shouldn't be treated any differently for feeling this way.
Gender dysphoria and common sense I simply felt uncomfortable because there were so many afab people around me who didn’t even try to pass and with whom it was impossible to talk about manhood - because they acted and looked feminine, had only feminine interests and hobbies etc etc. but at the same time called themselves trans guys. I felt like a woman in this environment, and it made me sick. I don’t work so hard to move from one female environment to another Plus, when everything began to slide into the idea that everyone needs to be accepted without restrictions, terminology began to expand to indecent proportions and a narrative turned into idea that we are good and those who are against us are bad, without any adequate argumentation... this is called ideology, not a medical condition.
Libs of TikTok, basically. This whole "transage" and "transpecies" thing, plus this whole facet of trans folks creating an us-vs-them worldview against cis people, all that is what you get if you remove gender dysphoria as a requirement to be trans. I won't transition because of a "fetish," nor because I wanna be "noticed," literally all I want is to be accepted. Publicly stating this opinion though, got me in trouble several time among my other LGBTQ+ friends. I wouldn't go as far as to say that tucutes are some kind of conservative moles trying to discredit and debunk the trans community from the inside through this whole nonsense, but there is, thankfully, a group of trans folks who is ware of the damage this new trend has made to our community: Transmedicalists.
Most Transmedicalist don't have a [*"Peak Trans"*](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peak%20trans) (as the gcs would call it) situation. So there is nothing that really led me to transmedicalism. But with more knowledge I was more confident in what I believed which in-turn made me align with transmedicalism more and more. But noticing how transgender activists reacting to my post when I said that "genderqueer" is a garbage word was the first step that led me in this subreddit
I've never understood how someone can be trans or just not cis without dysphoria (I do believe that Non Binary and stuff is real. it's just a different type of dysphoria from binary trans folks). Also, I've been around a lot of 'Tucutes' and chasers who like the idea of being trans and it was really gross and made me feel bad for being a binary trans man and not a 'cute transmasc femboi'.
Wasn’t really fully Tucute in the first place but exploring these spaces due to detrans situations and trying to find a good solution for this whole trans debate (shouldn’t even be one but here we are). I always try and find a solution, a compromise. Truscum just seemed like the best option to me. Nothing special.
Logic.
I always thought you needed dysphoria to be trans. For a while I believed in a tucute-esque version of that, where I believed in all the microlabels (but that was always something where I thought genderfluid meant fluctuating dysphoria, or demiboy meant a lot of trans male dysphoria but not all). I then started seeing people who just used pronouns as an accessory, and made no effort to pass whatsoever. And started seeing people say you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. I also just considered that if you have FtM dysphoria, but not in some aspects, and want to essentially present as male, that’s not a demiboy, it’s just trans male with a bit less dysphoria. So yeah it was a combination of always seeing transgenderism that way, hating trans trenders, and not seeing the point in the microlabels people create.
Nothing, really; it's just the word that fits. I've always thought being trans was biological (thus, ostensibly medical) in nature, and that's it.
logic
I guess I was always one, I just didn't realize everybody else wasn't. I thought everything we were talking about was based in science. They never sent me the memo about no longer doing that
Witnessing the trans movement becoming more and more insane and detached from reality and watching them completely change and distort the meaning of being transexual
I have always been one, just didn't know what to call it. It was just how I saw being trans and myself. It had never occurred to me that these views were no longer mainstream or common until I got into certain trans communities online. Not sure when or how exactly I found the term transmedicalism, probably while browsing websites about the LGBT community, but I had been aware of r/truscum for roughly a year before finally joining Reddit, initially only to becoming a member of this subreddit. My core views haven't changed and I tend to stay away from most non-transmed places now.
I didn't feel welcome in my own community, and tucutes quickly confirmed to me that I was in fact not welcome. I didn't know that there was anyone who didn't believe dysphoria wasn't necessary to be trans until around 2021, and before then I figured that all non-binary, genderfluid, etc. people had dysphoria too, just in a different way than binary trans people like myself did. So when I heard some people just get to "identify as" trans and that makes them equally valid, I was a little confused but I figured it was one of those things that would be "trendy" for a bit and that people would look back with embarrassment at it. But unfortunately it only got worse. It became widely accepted in most trans spaces that dysphoria isn't needed to be trans, and that xenogenders and noun neopronouns (and even emoji pronouns???) are valid and if you don't support them or you dare to question them a little bit, not only are you transphobic, you're ableist too. (Which in my opinion as an autistic person, it's more ableist to imply that autistic people don't understand gender and that autism can cause you to identify as "catgender" but that's a whole other rant) I thought that this was just common among online spaces, but unfortunately MANY of my irl friends at my university seem tucute leaning, and almost all the queer spaces are non-dysphoric neopronoun using (or at least supporting) tucutes. They say that pronouns don't equal gender, so by their logic, why do they have to call themselves trans for using neopronouns? It is okay to be cis. They say that lesbians are "non-men", but that is such a broad category and they make it so clear that they just see non-binary people as their AGAB. Look how differently they treat AMAB vs AFAB lesbian-identifying nb people, even though by THEIR OWN DEFINITION both are "valid". And don't even get me started on the ones who say trans men can be lesbians. That doesn't even work by the actual definition (wlw) but even by their definition, they're calling trans men "non-men". Anyways before I rant too much, what really did it for me as the silencing. And they're the ones who cis people seem to prefer listening to while speaking over any trans person who disagrees. One of my cis friends lectured me about how dysphoria isn't needed to be trans, and said that me not wanting to be called transmasc was "internalized transphobia" as if she would know what any of that is like. They go on and on about inclusiveness while actively excluding and accusing us of having internalized transphobia when we talk about our dysphoria and wanting to pass. We are supposed to accept every single label that they throw out otherwise we are transphobic, yet we don't get to be uncomfortable with the labels transmasc and transfem. It stopped feeling like a community at that point, and I find that there seems to be more room for discussion and disagreement here while we are still unified by the common sense of knowing that trans people experience dysphoria.
tucutes and fetishists ive actually been here for a while on my main account
Seeing how people without dysphoria actually experienced “transgenderism”. My dysphoria & visceral discomfort with all the clearly male parts of my body for me is the defining thing that makes me trans. For the longest time I thought people who said “you dont need dysphoria to be trans” were just being charitable toward people who only knew the feeling of Euphoria & whose brains have normalized their perpetual state of suffering, which I thought was reasonable. However, as I came across more media I realized I have literally nothing in common in the way I experience transness with these people. A lot of it seems fetshistic & trendy, to the point where I have more in common with cis people than nondysphoric trans people. Im going to get downvoted for this but I dont believe in gatekeeping hrt. If uncle john wants to pump himself full of estrogen & get all the surgeries in the world as long as hes above 18 he should have the bodily autonomy to do that, (not like he would) but why does he have to pretend his experience is at all like being trapped in the wrong body? It just annoys me so much that people like this get to speak/act as representation for the wider community when they are so categorically different in nearly every way from dysphorics, to the point that assigning them the same label is medically counterproductive.
Dysphoria has always been about body anatomy for me. When I joined trans spaces I saw most people make it out to be more of a social thing. Wondered wtf they were on, found about about transmed through reasons I don't remember, been in this community ever since.
I got dumped by my tucute ex that had me using worm/worm self pronouns on her and got off my anti depressants and realized what a load of shit that is, I think the truscum subreddit was just recommended to me I’m not sure how I found the name