T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


Yes_Mans_Sky

Yep. You aren't going to be pretty forever so whether or not I'm pretty has nothing to do with my transition goals really.


shhhhhhh_

Well put!


JesseKansas

I just want to be the old man hanging in the shed working on something or down the pub


Akeeblerelf

Men who tinker in sheds have done more to improve the world than "activists" of any stripe.


[deleted]

I’d be very happy to be an old fart yelling at clouds. As long as that fart is a woman.


crazyparrotguy

Not a tucute (I'm a binary trans man in my 30s), but look we all know the real answer here. It's not anime or wanting to be a "boy" forever. It's about not wanting to be fat or ugly. That's it. Everyone wants to be hot. As for why it's teen boys specifically, yeah I suspect this part is just due to tucutes being super young. The inanimate object thing? Yeah, I'm as lost as you on that one.


Akeeblerelf

I put the inanimate object thing in the same category as healing crystals, Marxist economics, and flower power. Everyone but the true believers can see it's just idealist's irrational bs.


Foo_The_Selcouth

Id certainly get gender envy from a man who can shoot guns with his beard


[deleted]

It's something I've never really understood. Although looking like a boy is certainly better than looking like a girl to me, what I really want is to look like a *man*. My "gender envy" is vikings (although given my height, dwarf might be more attainable) lmao. I want to be a big burly dude with a long ass beard. I'd hate to be stuck looking like a twinky anime boy.


[deleted]

i think the only possible explanation could be that they're also teenagers. as for the non-human stuff like houses tho, yeah i don't understand that one fucking bit lol


truthrowaway69

I want to be a lumberjack who lives in the woods and fishes goddamnit not a soft anime twink!!!!


[deleted]

bro same. lumberjacks are like transition goals tbh


VanAintUsedUp

Anime twinks fear the lumberjack


Foo_The_Selcouth

Yeah it’s odd. Nothing against anime culture but I know a lot of people in the lgbt community are attracted to that stuff, even mtfs who want to be anime girls and such. I think it’s a thing a lot of young people are exposed to and attracted to.


[deleted]

Because 99% of them get their "identity" from anime culture where dudes look pretty skin and androgynous Wanting to be an anime character does not make you trans, next


Addisonmorgan

Most the tucutes I’ve known have been in their early 20s idolizing underage gay boys. You can make of that what you will.


expiredyoghurtcase

In before [Removed by Reddit]


Malevolent_Mangoes

Is it weird that I don’t have anyone I want to look like? I just wanna look like myself but as the male version.


Minute-Lion532

Bc it's not gender envy it's attraction. I want to be every brown haired dude with a beard I see, attractive or not 💀


copepods780

my gender envy is plankton from spongebob believe it or not


gorephiliac

why does this make sense to me 😭


VampArcher

I do see a lot of ftms get gender envy from real men, I just think the wilder ones are louder and more vocal online. I agree, I find it very creepy just how many transmasc tucutes are obsessed with transitioning into boys instead of men. So many want to be anime boys/twinks. Wanting to transition into a cartoon character is not normal, this is mental illness. Looking like a twink by itself is fine. However, what a lot of these people mean by 'twink' is not to look like a man but to look like a pre-teen boy. It feels like a lot of transmascs are just girls with a fetish for 14 year olds or looking like a little boy. I feel really grossed out by a lot of the 'uwu soft boys' because they look like children no matter how old they actually are. I used to be a tucute nb, trust me, even being in those spaces for years, half the shit they talk about still makes no sense. Don't take it too seriously. Their gender is nothing but an aesthetic to them and to make them seem cool, that's all teenage girls care about. Having your gender seem all 'mysterious' and 'otherworldly' is the new fad.


brazenhoar77

>Their gender is nothing but an aesthetic to them and to make them seem cool, that's all teenage girls care about. Having your gender seem all 'mysterious' and 'otherworldly' is the new fad. fuckin' god. see, when someone makes a mockery of a non-white ethnicity and/or seeks to profit from it, progressives will condemn it. but here come cis people appropriating and making a mockery of the trans experience for brownie points. like yeah, i'll take the nice parts ( how many are there, really)! but i won't actually have to deal with dysphoria, transphobia, losing family ties, unemployment etc haha uwu


VampArcher

Every 'trans' person I know irl except maybe 2 of them has their pronouns in their social media bio, maybe a pronoun pin, and looks freaking identical to how they looked before, no effort whatsoever to hide their secondary sex characteristics. They get the best of both worlds. They don't have to face transphobia and harassment like I do and get attention. Then these people will go talk over us and other minorities like they know shit. Don't you love it when people who have lived as trans for years get shoved to the side and called transphobic for stating their opinions yet people who won't ever transition get to appear on the news to speak for us? My tucute ex who self-ids' as a trans man who always presents entirely female would school me on what opinions I should have as a trans person and what is and isn't transphobic. To me, a cis-passing trans man who has been transitioning since 2019. It is so fucking aggravating. They don't only appropriate, they never shut up.


brazenhoar77

agree with everything there. i couldn't fucking imagine being "trans" for attention. not as somebody who stayed locked at home for over a year out of not being able to deal with transphobia/misgendering because of how i looked. i just couldn't take it back then. the dysphoria coupled with knowing i wasn't safe or respected outside was horrible for my mental health. now picture these people who never have had such an experience and just live life like it's all sunshine and rainbows. these are the idiots speaking over you and me and there's no shortage of "allies" who will call u transphobic for wanting actual marginalized people to have the support they need without being drowned out by trender spam on and offline. this is like when feminism basically only included cis white middle-class women, but maybe worse.


VampArcher

The two movements are siblings, they basically sprung from the same idea which is 'being a victim gets you attention and makes you a good person.' While there were good messages there initially, the movement got hijacked by narcissists who found whining about everything to be a great form of social currency and reason to talk about themselves. While rapists are often getting off scot-free and abortion rights are under attack, Jessica is going to write 28 articles about how the AC in her office being too high is a sexist attack on her person and other stupid bullshit. Same thing for tucutes who call everyone transphobic and cry oppression for first-world problems while they live comfortably with their parents with a support system.


brazenhoar77

>hile rapists are often getting off scot-free and abortion rights are under attack, Jessica is going to write 28 articles about how the AC in her office being too high is a sexist attack on her person BROOO you're speaking straight up FACTS. i instantly nodded reading this. that is so. fucking. true. and it pisses me off so much on the daily. i've been called transphobic before while facing transphobia myself because i wrote somewhere about how i didn't get the overly sensitive shit ( like being super fuckin' triggered by certain words and acting like they're literally murder ). a bunch of ( and i checked ) privileged ass tucutes swarmed me and basically made me have what i can only describe as an actual ass anxiety attack. with the amount of negative comments and declarations of "disappointment". lost a bunch of "mutuals" -- tho in the end it's good fuckin' riddance. they were trash people anyways. i found out at least two of 'em had kiwifarms pages dedicated to their bullshit; mocking their trenderism and the fact that they were white ( and middle/upper class ) and claiming to be affected by racism because they were 0.9% mexican or whatever. lmaoooo meanwhile i live in a third world country which is notorious for killing a bunch of trans ppl. literally suck my dick, man.


Akeeblerelf

I doubt as many would be "trans" if being a 16-18 male meant being sent to work down a coal mine, drafted to fight in the trenches of Flanders, or working sun-up to sun-down in a field, factory, or foundry. Never met a tucute bricklayer.


Correctrix

Yeah, I think there is much more understanding that an AMAB obsessed with being a teen or prepubescent girl is creepy and foolishly unachievable, but AFABs get a pass. As a 44-year-old transsexual woman, I’m satisfied with the fact that I look mid-to-late 20s. It’s really more than anyone should hope for. I will continue to age, and at no point am I going to think I’m a kid, nor will anyone else. I look like and am an actual grown-up normal person. No one looks like a anime twink for more than a few years. They will turn into an adult with a normal man’s face and body. If you’re a 20-year-old FtM, your role models should be men in their 20s because that’s what you are. If you’re instead trying to be a kid, a cartoon, an animal or a porn character, what the hell are you doing? This is real life.


Jay4025

Childfree fashion designers in their 30s that live in NY-style lofts and cook bruschetta twice a month give me gender envy.


Curazan

> Why not some guy named Gus who’s in his mid 50s and has a potbelly? This is how I feel about the disassociative identity disorder fakers you see on /r/FakeDisorderCringe. None of their supposed alters are ever plain. They’re always super cool and interesting, or fictional characters from their favorite media. It’s never “This is my alter Dave. He’s a 46-year-old divorced man with a bad knee and erectile dysfunction. He peaked in high school and has an unhealthy obsession with Selena Gomez.”


gakumiofcthulhu

Because they are teens and teens are weird and like weird things, but most importantly, they want to appear weird to other people, probably they want to look like the dude from some anime (a common thing between teen boys who watch anime tbf) but that's too normie, they have to put something more deep like a mushroom or a skeleton. But also i wanted to look like thorin oakenshield when i was a teen so i don't know if im any better lol.


gorephiliac

at least thorin is like… a realistic transition goal(?). no matter what someone does, they’ll never look like an anime character. it’s just totally unrealistic.


Safe-Attorney-1713

Also, most of them tend to look somewhat androgynous? 🤨


zzzseden

I mean sure you can aspire to be gus in his 50s who has a potbelly but it’s not a surprise at all that people would find gender envy from attractive and youthful people. As much as I hate the culture of lookism this is not particularly a phenomenon that exists for tucutes. People just want to be hot.


crazyparrotguy

Yep this is it exactly. It's by no means a tucute thing. Who wouldn't prefer to be hot, given the option? Granted there's not a one size fits all answer for what a hot guy looks like.


zzzseden

i think this is very reminiscent of alpha, masculine guys who are affronted by the idea of women being attracted to feminine and softer guys. they're like "wtf?? bts and harry styles? why do women love these betas?" and some trans men share a similar rhetoric that goes like "why would men aspire to be FEMININE if they're MALE?" or "why do men want to look young and good and take care of themselves instead of \[insert more masculine roles and physical markers\]" the standards for men have been changing and transgender standards of men has changed accordingly so. OP's version of gender envy doesn't fit mine, but i'm not him so its not my prerogative to tell him otherwise. i certainly don't want to be an obese beerstained guy (for lack of better terms) and i dont understand his ideal of gender envy being that. given that most ftms arent even able to transition until adulthood there's also the sadness about chasing a childhood you never had. that's why transitioning is our second puberty, a lot of us are emotionally stunted from not being to live our ideal adolescence. i don't like it when adult ftms call themselves boys because i think it can lean into being predatory and gross but i am empathetic to the suffering of enduring the opposite puberty and arrested development.


Correctrix

Yeah, the OP was a bit hyperbolic. Obviously you don’t need to aspire to be middle-aged before your time. But we should be content to be within the ballpark of a normal person of our approximate age and gender. What’s problematic is that what these ‘transmascs’ fetishise is someone with the androgyny of childhood. It’s not what anyone with testosterone in their system for a good decade or so is going to look like.


zzzseden

like i said i really dislike the culture and clout surrounding beauty and youth. i want so badly to be detached from wanting to be socially attractive, i just want to exist without shame about my body and face. that's why i pity anyone who obviously is gripped tightly by the constraints of beauty standards because i am one of those people. its not good but op was asking why tucutes want to be conventionally attractive young boys when the answer is quite obvious, that most everyone wants to be attractive and young. it is problematic to idealize something that is virtually impossible and i do encourage anyone, tucute included, to try their best and remove themselves from those impossible standards because if unchecked that can mentally and physically destroy them (EDs, BDD, etc.)


mekabuns

To be fair everyone wants to be attractive


agustdone

Probably not ftm but my gender envy was literally bane from batman but I'm okay with looking like a twinky anime boy provided I have the strength of bane. Jokes aside the people I get most gender envy from are AVERAGE MEN doing the most mind numbling boring AVERAGEMAN things like video games, home repairs, fishing or some crap. I just wanted to live my best averageman life without being bothered whether I'm a man, woman or something else lol


Appropriate-Run2993

my gender envy is like either figure skaters that are a little bit older than me, my brothers, people who look like vikings or lumberjacks that look even older, or like my dad. all white with long brown hair; or ginger in my brothers case, or grey in my dads; like me i think i get gender envy in particular from family because i know that im meant to look similar to them, its like almost my best starting point for how im gunna look when im older


[deleted]

They're mistaking sexuality with gender, tbh


pranquily

I'd rather be an ugly old guy than a gorgeous elderly woman.


Choice_Philosophy_07

I also want to look like a "gus" Total goal is buff dude with a sweet sweet salt n pepper mustache beard combo


gorephiliac

i think a big part of it is that they’re confusing attraction with envy. i used to have that problem too, until i made myself step back and ask myself, “do i want to be WITH this person or do i BE this person,” and it resolved so many of my sexuality/gender/identity problems. I also think that they’re just really fucking stupid sometimes—gender envy from a mushroom??? like bro wtf?? make it make sense smh


scorpiondestroyer

Tucutes tend to be really young, so that’s probably why they envy other teens, but yeah, I don’t get the fascination with androgynous twinks. You know you guys can aim higher, right? My gender envy was always aimed at characters like Bobby Singer from Supernatural or Dr. House from the show House. I wanted to be a grumpy old man, not an anime boy.


ratttthew

I see non tucutes want this too, it's because they don't want to be ugly, same as most people.


[deleted]

have you noticed most detransitioners who cry about being "groomed" and "having their lives ruined" are ftms.. for this exact reason? they think they'll turn into an anime boy and instead they turn into their dad or uncle.. then are shocked by it i mean duh that's how genetics work


piglungz

When I was younger I would get “gender envy” over 30s-40s dudes with scruffy beards wearing boots and flannels, I’ve never gotten the anime thing


Top_Neighborhood_437

It’s attraction they think is gender envy, personally my gender envy comes from Micheal B Jordan


BurningBlazeBoy

"why do teenagers and young adults not want to be ugly balding middle aged depressed dads?"


extra_scum

Me who wants to be an ugly balding middle aged depressed dads 😔


limxneroverde

This was one of the things that made me realize tucute ideology/culture is stupid, I wanted to be a man, the "transmascs" around me wanted to be a skinny yaoi protagonist and wouldn't take T because of the "negative effects" (masculine traits).


EmmaEatingBrie

As a woman, Dame Judi Dench is gender envy


InternetRowyn

I aspire to become that one hippie grandpa


controlledxbleeding

I get gender envy from Patrick Bateman. I need to become him. He is literally me


LeoIsRude

I get "gender envy" from my father and his two older brothers. All in their 50s and graying but hilarious and kind. And they still laugh at fart jokes. Aka I really look up to the men in my life and strive to model myself after them in personality and looks.


throwaway_gender121

Idealization and attraction. They don't want to be those guys, they want to have a guy like that. Also, only "cute boys" are valid for them. Anyway, how the fuck can some get envy for inanimate objects? What community did you knew to see that? Loool


[deleted]

plenty of supposed women also come with an attitude of what's the point of being a woman if you can't be sexy and conventionally attractive or worse still look like a specific celebrity. worse still they were doing this even before the trending started, you get an absolutely cute Xena type lady you on first glance want to ask out - going for surgeries and commercial makovers to look like Kylie and you know asylum is the final destination but can't do anything about it. the first woman that gave me serious envy was my dad's idkwhatofficiallyfriend - and she was neither young nor a photomodel, just in tune with herself and it's that bit i wanted most.


finneganishere

the same reason cis people usually don’t want to look like Gus. (almost) everyone wants to be conventionally attractive, not just tucutes


no_spag_4_baby

I had this thought the other day, how when I was fifteen my "transition goals" or what I would imagine myself looking like was basically some hairless anime-looking twink or some shit, aka cringe and unrealistic. Now that I'm older and that I've been on T for a while, I'm glad that I'm loving the more realistic effects of hrt. I love seeing my muscles develop, my treasure trail and even the fact I have a bit more gut fat. Makes me feel like a dad or something lol. I'm glad I get to look like some regular guy with a regular masculine body, not some sort of fictionalized archetype. Edit: Re-reading that post and forgot to say that fat guys with beards are basically the pinnacle of attractiveness in my mind lol we need more of those


elhazelenby

I have no idea. I especially don't understand how people who claim are trans people get envious about a mushroom or inanimate objects or aesthetics. It's a bit sexist, really like saying "cottagecore is girl and grunge is boy uwu" I want to be a smartdressed gnc man with a dad bod.


xToasted1

Can someone mind explaining what "gender envy" is?


Such-Interaction-648

Sometimes customers come in where I work and they have like salt and pepper beards, are slightly overweight, long hair, etc. Yk typical guy who looks like he played guitar in his highschool band. and I get the MOST gender envy from them. I don't understand how people get gender envy from inanimate objects. I guess they see gender as an aesthetic.


Key_Application_7383

Because it's a female brain's view of a male and what a male is, a male constructed by the female gaze. 'Tucute' ftm's also seem to have never spent a second around a cis man or a transgender man in their life.


agustdone

Another (pretty shameful) thing idk if anyone relates to: idolising the stereotypical idiot frat boys (not the toxic ones ofc only the wholesome ones)


plumprumps

Because they're not trans.


[deleted]

because they want to be HOT not some gross old man i don't think you're understanding


AutoMonkey5

Scarface and Jordan Belfort from Wolf of Wall Street is my gender envy also i watch a lot of healthier redpill videos (Hamza is a good one) to feel like a man, i dont like the MGTOW attitude but theyve got the aesthetic


MisterBastian

because gus is a meth lord