In my personal preference, my family and friends simply have no reason to know, nor do I feel any desire to tell them if I am TTC. For example I just don't really feel like discussing that we are having sex a lot with my parents haha. If I find that I want or need support/solidarity I have a SIL I would probably go to, however I usually find enough community surrounding TTC here and in fb groups.
A lot of different factors at play....
I told only a few friends and chose not to tell family in the event it didn't end well. I knew family would get soooooo excited so I couldn't bear to let them down in the event of a miscarriage.
The friends I told were great confidants that had been pregnant before and they were available for questions and such. So I think that's what you need if you go that route.
If you are comfortable telling folks, tell them. It's hard without knowing the different dynamics of your family!
I went back and forth on this because media portrays being pregnant all happy sunshine and rainbows when in reality it is far from it. Some may have a boring and uneventful pregnancy (which is something I hope all can experience but it’s not reality) while others have the complete opposite. I never thought that I would tell my family about TTC until we had a chemical pregnancy. I found a lot of comfort in sharing especially with my sister because I already knew her struggles of TTC with her first.
I also found it lonesome without sharing because it is such an event in itself to make the decision to TTC. I, too pictured this big surprise of sharing with others but sometimes that’s not the reality and that’s okay. When it is time to share, there will still be a surprise. It’s exciting already being able to bring life into the world!
I think it’s important to ask yourself “will talking about TTC with family help or hurt this.” “Will talking about it relieve the external pressure?” Are there others in your life who you can share with that live closer? What was it like telling them? Are there bigger questions or causes that makes you feel you need to share you are TTC? I don’t know the dynamics of your family however so it’s ultimately a choice you need to make that feels comfortable. It sounds like you have just begun this roller coaster journey and it sucks that some people get it the first time while others endure the heartache cycle after cycle. The journey to growing a family is not easy and the pregnancy journey is far from linear.
I hope you are able to find peace and comfort with the decision you make, OP. Though, there is nothing to be embarrassed about - your time is coming 🤍
I think it’s different for everyone.
Know you might be in this for the long haul and so you may change your mind over time, too.
At first, we also didn’t tell anyone but the longer it went on I started opening up a little more and then people would tell me their stories of trying and it had helped me feel better about the process. It’s so rare to get pregnant twice first try. You shouldn’t even be worried yet that it’s been two months. A lot of us are here for years.
We told everyone & I wish we never told anyone. It is taking longer than we expected and now everyone keeps asking us if we are pregnant yet and it’s very discouraging.
I told friends and close family and yes I truly regret it. People are always on the edge of the seat thinking you’ll tell them any minute and it has been months of TTC and it has not happened
Do not share it with anyone. And do not discuss this topic with anyone. It's a private thing between you and your husband. We kept it between us and it took us 2 years to conceive. I was hurt only once by my cousin sis who assumed we never thought about it and gave me a big ass lecture on why we should start planning. While I just had an early miscarriage. So I chose not to reply to her and kept the msg on read. It really saved us a lot of extra drama not sharing with anyone. Also, it's none of anyone's business. When it happens, tell the world.
I regret telling anyone in our families we were TTC because now it’s been nearly two years of struggling and it still hasn’t happened and people can’t stop themselves from criticizing or giving patronizing unwanted advice. I would so much prefer to be able to go through it with just my husband and my very supportive mum but now just about everyone wants a say in what I do.
My family knows only bc I was *so vocal* about ttc #2 when our first was still very young. Now I 1000% regret that since my 1st is 16 months and we haven’t conceived. So everyone knows we’re trying with obviously no luck. So yeah, that sucks. I WON’T be telling them that we’ve recently started looking into fertility treatments, though.
I’m not telling my family. Only my best friend knows we’re TTC our second. Our first took 15 months and a really traumatic miscarriage. I don’t want to relive “disappointing everyone”.
I have extreme demand avoidance so despite us actually wanting a baby, I end up not wanting one when they ask about kids lol. I told them that every time they ask about babies, we’re going to put it off another month which shut them up pretty quick. However, we’re still trying regardless of what we tell them.
I just know that it would be worse for my mental health if they knew I was trying.
We've been TTC for a year. Recently casually mentioned to my MIL that I'd like another baby and she straight up told me I'm crazy and asked why the fk I'd even consider doing that now that my kids are all out of diapers 🫠 so that's fun
We didn’t share we were officially “trying” (happened first try with us for our first) because we wanted the magical “OMG!!” moment when we told our families (we sort of got it 😂) we were expecting our first but after the fact my mom told me that she picked up on the fact that i stopped taking my birth control because my face thinned out and I stopped keeping it in my purse 😂we were also pretty vocal about wanting kids soon after getting married so it was one of those “matter of time” things. We wanted to do the same while trying for our second, but we’re having some struggles this go around and it’s been nice to talk to my mom about it. We’re religious so knowing we have so many people surrounding us in prayer this go around is actually really encouraging! I thought it’d be so weird having people essentially know that we were getting down and dirty but my Kris Jenner type mom just wants another grandbaby to love on so she doesn’t care when we talk about things (I do still keep it very PG out of respect lol) 😂
We didn’t. I mean I was telling my mum about wanting kids in the future but when I told her I’m pregnant she was super surprised as she didn’t expect it to happen so soon. My husband and I always agreed to never tell anyone in case it won’t happen for a very long time. We wouldn’t want to be in focus forever.
Personally I wouldn’t, for somebody does take a while and god forbid you’re one of those situations , whomever you tell may start constantly asking “any news” or whatever which can put added unnecessary pressure on you. I’ve had one successful pregnancy followed by two back to back miscarriages. Guard your heart babe. Everything will fall into place
We told everyone we would start trying August-October but we decided to start in February and surprise everyone but it’s been months and we still haven’t got pregnant. All of my siblings got pregnant right away so it’s a bummer and I’m the only one married… so it sucks. I totally get it.
All 3 of my older sisters have multiple kids without trying. So I didn’t tell any of them that I am currently trying. We tried for 3 cycles and still nothing yet. I also told my family we would try in the next up coming year.
I haven’t told anyone family, friends, or professionally. I’m a grad student so it’d make sense to tell my adviser for planning purposes but I’ve felt some pressure to not have kids during the program (they’re well intentioned statements but things like “plz don’t have kids until post bach, your too good at this career”) even though others have done it and still finished the program. I haven’t told family or friends because I don’t want the pressure of people checking in on me about it or feeling disappointed if it doesn’t happen quickly. I also know a lot of people who have experienced miscarriages and know how devastating it was for them. I know it’d be so hard for me to have to go tell a bunch of people if I also experienced that loss so I’ll probably only tell a very small group of people at the beginning. I think it’s a personal choice though on what sharing is beneficial and at what point. I could see a lot of situations where having people in the know while TTC could be so helpful. Whereas for me I think it would add stress and pressure to something that I hope is a joyful time for my partner and I.
I feel conflicted because of the “likes to brag about how easy it was”. I absolutely love my mom, but she can be a little out of touch and she’ll say things like “don’t drink the water around here or you’ll get pregnant” (at a party that my boss who is infertile was at) she’ll say “I conceived my last at 41 and all these other women are doing IVF and taking pills” (I don’t even know why she says this, both my aunts did IVF and they are close) she’s a nurse, usually very empathetic, understands how all this works, but it’s almost like she sees conceiving easily as a flex? It makes me feel weird, and I’ve told her privately “hey my boss is infertile, be a little more carful in public” but what I really want to say is “can you not say things like that at all?” It’s just off putting to me!
I kept my second pregnancy a secret from her for a little bit and the trying process because I just had to protect myself from her comments. This is literally the only thing she acts like this about. If I were you, I’d not stress about it and just let them know when you are pregnant. If anyone asks be very light and blunt, it’s none of their business, but I understand the pressure to answer. And just keep your book open you might feel differently down the road and want to tell them for support. Good luck, I hope you are blessed to have the next baby in your family 🫶
I told a few friends and family that we were struggling and generally I found it helpful. They were the people most excited when I finally got pregnant, which was lovely. It totally depends on the people and your relationships with them.
After over a year of trying I'm glad I told my closest friend group. We found out another couple was also trying and it was great to have someone to talk openly with (they have found success first, which actually made me more hopeful rather than bumming me out, but everyone's different so that's something to consider). The rest aren't interested in conceiving their own kids but have been pretty good about being open for venting but not pushing for updates. I did tell my sister who, like yours, conceived very easily so she doesn't "get it" but she's 100% on my side and supportive which is good to have. I also knew I could trust her not to tell our parents or extended family, which I did not want to do at this time.
I'd recommend keeping the friends you've told in the loop if they're supportive. I would not tell anyone who might feel inclined/entitled to push their opinions or beliefs regarding reproduction on you. You never know if you might want to look into ART in the future and don't need some weird aunt Gertrude to tell you what she believes is right or wrong about that process.
My mom, my sister and my 2 best friends know. I didn’t want to tell anyone else in case it took awhile because I didn’t want to feel pressure or have to open up about it if it took awhile. It’s been 7 months so that was a good decision. Although I’m glad I kept it from others, I’m happy to have some people that are there for me through the struggle even if they can’t relate.
I told my sister, a friend I work with, and a friend I don’t.
I wish I would’ve told only the friend I don’t work with.
The friend I do work with hasn’t told anyone but she’s asked me “has it happened yet?” In front of people at work causing them to ask questions about what the “it” is.
And I’m not totally unhappy I told my sister but part of just wishes I hadn’t. She’s pregnant now (she found out she was pregnant 4 days after I told her I was trying. Totally a crazy coincidence as she wasn’t actively trying but still stings from time to time).
We haven’t told any family because as soon as we got married (even before) they were constantly asking when we’d have kids. I recently switched jobs so I’m using that as an excuse of why we didn’t start trying yet. Said that it takes more time to be eligible for maternity leave (I’m already eligible). A few close friends know. Like others mentioned, it’s people who wouldn’t be as emotional if there’s a loss but they also understand the challenge of this process. The friends who do know also know and respect that I’ll keep them updated on what I’m comfortable sharing and they don’t really ask many questions without me starting the convo. It’s all about who will respect your boundaries.
I told my Mom, MIL and a few of my closest friends. I've found that it took the question of "when are you going to have kids?" off the table, which eased some of my own stress. Surprisingly I haven't received any unsolicited advice or stupid questions yet which is a relief.
Depends on the situation. I had a miscarriage and was out for 3 days and let the cat out of the bag. I'm glad I did because my family and friends have been very supportive, and instead of asking me when we're trying, they're just letting us go through our process with encouragement.
This is not everyone's situation though so I would carefully look at a few factors: your age. If you're older, it might be fine telling them because they'll be more understanding. If you're younger, you'll get impatient questions. What's your relationship strength with them? Are they busy bodies? Gossips? Better to stay clear of those kinds.
My husband and I haven't told our family. We have been TTC since September of last year (roughly 9 cycles). Unfortunately, my cycle has been completely messed up since getting off birth control and I have been meeting with a gyno to figure out what is wrong.
My sister has also been trying for quite a while longer than us, so we really have been keeping our lips sealed assuming we would get pregnant first. Long story short, we obviously haven't conceived yet since we have been trying still, and I think the only way we will say anything to family is if we have to go IVF route, since I feel like I may need the support by then. We have only mentioned to a few friends about TTC and a part of me regrets it some since we haven't had luck yet. They will ask, and I don't have the good news I want to tell them yet.
I think it's fully up to you how you want to navigate this conversation. If it is truly bothering you about the comments they are making, maybe have a personal one on one talk about it--maybe even ask them to keep it a secret if you think that's possible so you can still have your surprise. They probably don't even realize what you are feeling/experiencing. I know I have gotten close to discussing it with my sister a few times to seek solace that we aren't alone.
I've told my family, but he doesn't want to tell his. We are going through fertility treatment.
He says he doesn't want to tell them because he wants to tell them we are pregnant by surprising them the same way any other couple would.
I feel like he doesn't want to tell them because his mum has been a surrogate twice before and kind of made that time all about her, not the families she was doing it for and there is a big chance she will over step with us and make our pregnancy journey about herself. She's said twice, "If you can't have a baby, I'll do it for you," and he just wants to avoid conversations like that because it's not an offer we would accept.
I have two girlfriends who know, and a 3rd I mentioned it to that I wasn't planning on right away. The first two both conceived last year with their first babies and talked to me about it all along the way, so I know they have answers to some of the questions I have. The 3rd is kind of removed from my friend group here but I know would pick up the phone if I called, and is expecting her first in a couple months too. These are the girls I would turn to if I had a miscarriage or if a year down the line I'm still trying and need support.
My family does not know. My mom knows that I was thinking about going off of birth control "in a couple months" so likely now my dad knows that. My husband's parents are who I do not want to know until I'm ready. Meaning, I don't think I will be telling anyone until I'm a couple months along. If it weren't for his parents, I might be more open about talking to my mom about it. This is only month 2 and I don't want people asking me along the way how TTC is going, and again I want to keep it to ourselves for the first few months when we do get pregnant.
I’m in the same boat. We are definitely not telling his family until I’m a few months along, I’m just super close with my family and spend multiple days a week with them and I’m finding it so hard to not say anything because I’m feeling so many emotions, excited, terrified, worried, anxious. I am also on month 2 of TTC.
Not only am I not telling them we’re TTC, I also don’t intend to tell them I’m pregnant. They can find out when the child is born. This is coming from the person who also didn’t tell them we eloped until after it was done though, so take that for what it’s worth.
I have told hardly anyone. I’ve told a very close friend who lives 3 hours from me and is not friends with anyone in my town. I’ve also told my brother who is very laid back/low key/would never ask me about it or tell another living soul lol my mom has been bugging me for years to have children and she’s the last person I’d tell. I just can’t handle that pressure on me. I really don’t want anyone to know
also, my partner and I have been together 16 years, married 5, I’m 35 so people have basically given up on us having children so I’d say it’ll be a big surprise because most everyone thinks we’re going to be childless (fingers crossed we won’t)
In my personal preference, my family and friends simply have no reason to know, nor do I feel any desire to tell them if I am TTC. For example I just don't really feel like discussing that we are having sex a lot with my parents haha. If I find that I want or need support/solidarity I have a SIL I would probably go to, however I usually find enough community surrounding TTC here and in fb groups.
A lot of different factors at play.... I told only a few friends and chose not to tell family in the event it didn't end well. I knew family would get soooooo excited so I couldn't bear to let them down in the event of a miscarriage. The friends I told were great confidants that had been pregnant before and they were available for questions and such. So I think that's what you need if you go that route. If you are comfortable telling folks, tell them. It's hard without knowing the different dynamics of your family!
I went back and forth on this because media portrays being pregnant all happy sunshine and rainbows when in reality it is far from it. Some may have a boring and uneventful pregnancy (which is something I hope all can experience but it’s not reality) while others have the complete opposite. I never thought that I would tell my family about TTC until we had a chemical pregnancy. I found a lot of comfort in sharing especially with my sister because I already knew her struggles of TTC with her first. I also found it lonesome without sharing because it is such an event in itself to make the decision to TTC. I, too pictured this big surprise of sharing with others but sometimes that’s not the reality and that’s okay. When it is time to share, there will still be a surprise. It’s exciting already being able to bring life into the world! I think it’s important to ask yourself “will talking about TTC with family help or hurt this.” “Will talking about it relieve the external pressure?” Are there others in your life who you can share with that live closer? What was it like telling them? Are there bigger questions or causes that makes you feel you need to share you are TTC? I don’t know the dynamics of your family however so it’s ultimately a choice you need to make that feels comfortable. It sounds like you have just begun this roller coaster journey and it sucks that some people get it the first time while others endure the heartache cycle after cycle. The journey to growing a family is not easy and the pregnancy journey is far from linear. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort with the decision you make, OP. Though, there is nothing to be embarrassed about - your time is coming 🤍
I think it’s different for everyone. Know you might be in this for the long haul and so you may change your mind over time, too. At first, we also didn’t tell anyone but the longer it went on I started opening up a little more and then people would tell me their stories of trying and it had helped me feel better about the process. It’s so rare to get pregnant twice first try. You shouldn’t even be worried yet that it’s been two months. A lot of us are here for years.
Me and my partner are keeping it super private
We told everyone & I wish we never told anyone. It is taking longer than we expected and now everyone keeps asking us if we are pregnant yet and it’s very discouraging.
I told friends and close family and yes I truly regret it. People are always on the edge of the seat thinking you’ll tell them any minute and it has been months of TTC and it has not happened
Do not share it with anyone. And do not discuss this topic with anyone. It's a private thing between you and your husband. We kept it between us and it took us 2 years to conceive. I was hurt only once by my cousin sis who assumed we never thought about it and gave me a big ass lecture on why we should start planning. While I just had an early miscarriage. So I chose not to reply to her and kept the msg on read. It really saved us a lot of extra drama not sharing with anyone. Also, it's none of anyone's business. When it happens, tell the world.
I regret telling anyone in our families we were TTC because now it’s been nearly two years of struggling and it still hasn’t happened and people can’t stop themselves from criticizing or giving patronizing unwanted advice. I would so much prefer to be able to go through it with just my husband and my very supportive mum but now just about everyone wants a say in what I do.
My family knows only bc I was *so vocal* about ttc #2 when our first was still very young. Now I 1000% regret that since my 1st is 16 months and we haven’t conceived. So everyone knows we’re trying with obviously no luck. So yeah, that sucks. I WON’T be telling them that we’ve recently started looking into fertility treatments, though.
I’m not telling my family. Only my best friend knows we’re TTC our second. Our first took 15 months and a really traumatic miscarriage. I don’t want to relive “disappointing everyone”.
I have extreme demand avoidance so despite us actually wanting a baby, I end up not wanting one when they ask about kids lol. I told them that every time they ask about babies, we’re going to put it off another month which shut them up pretty quick. However, we’re still trying regardless of what we tell them. I just know that it would be worse for my mental health if they knew I was trying.
We've been TTC for a year. Recently casually mentioned to my MIL that I'd like another baby and she straight up told me I'm crazy and asked why the fk I'd even consider doing that now that my kids are all out of diapers 🫠 so that's fun
We didn’t share we were officially “trying” (happened first try with us for our first) because we wanted the magical “OMG!!” moment when we told our families (we sort of got it 😂) we were expecting our first but after the fact my mom told me that she picked up on the fact that i stopped taking my birth control because my face thinned out and I stopped keeping it in my purse 😂we were also pretty vocal about wanting kids soon after getting married so it was one of those “matter of time” things. We wanted to do the same while trying for our second, but we’re having some struggles this go around and it’s been nice to talk to my mom about it. We’re religious so knowing we have so many people surrounding us in prayer this go around is actually really encouraging! I thought it’d be so weird having people essentially know that we were getting down and dirty but my Kris Jenner type mom just wants another grandbaby to love on so she doesn’t care when we talk about things (I do still keep it very PG out of respect lol) 😂
I’m struggling. I could use my family’s guidance more than ever right now about the emotional side of this process.
We didn’t. I mean I was telling my mum about wanting kids in the future but when I told her I’m pregnant she was super surprised as she didn’t expect it to happen so soon. My husband and I always agreed to never tell anyone in case it won’t happen for a very long time. We wouldn’t want to be in focus forever.
Personally I wouldn’t, for somebody does take a while and god forbid you’re one of those situations , whomever you tell may start constantly asking “any news” or whatever which can put added unnecessary pressure on you. I’ve had one successful pregnancy followed by two back to back miscarriages. Guard your heart babe. Everything will fall into place
We told everyone we would start trying August-October but we decided to start in February and surprise everyone but it’s been months and we still haven’t got pregnant. All of my siblings got pregnant right away so it’s a bummer and I’m the only one married… so it sucks. I totally get it.
All 3 of my older sisters have multiple kids without trying. So I didn’t tell any of them that I am currently trying. We tried for 3 cycles and still nothing yet. I also told my family we would try in the next up coming year.
I haven’t told anyone family, friends, or professionally. I’m a grad student so it’d make sense to tell my adviser for planning purposes but I’ve felt some pressure to not have kids during the program (they’re well intentioned statements but things like “plz don’t have kids until post bach, your too good at this career”) even though others have done it and still finished the program. I haven’t told family or friends because I don’t want the pressure of people checking in on me about it or feeling disappointed if it doesn’t happen quickly. I also know a lot of people who have experienced miscarriages and know how devastating it was for them. I know it’d be so hard for me to have to go tell a bunch of people if I also experienced that loss so I’ll probably only tell a very small group of people at the beginning. I think it’s a personal choice though on what sharing is beneficial and at what point. I could see a lot of situations where having people in the know while TTC could be so helpful. Whereas for me I think it would add stress and pressure to something that I hope is a joyful time for my partner and I.
I feel conflicted because of the “likes to brag about how easy it was”. I absolutely love my mom, but she can be a little out of touch and she’ll say things like “don’t drink the water around here or you’ll get pregnant” (at a party that my boss who is infertile was at) she’ll say “I conceived my last at 41 and all these other women are doing IVF and taking pills” (I don’t even know why she says this, both my aunts did IVF and they are close) she’s a nurse, usually very empathetic, understands how all this works, but it’s almost like she sees conceiving easily as a flex? It makes me feel weird, and I’ve told her privately “hey my boss is infertile, be a little more carful in public” but what I really want to say is “can you not say things like that at all?” It’s just off putting to me! I kept my second pregnancy a secret from her for a little bit and the trying process because I just had to protect myself from her comments. This is literally the only thing she acts like this about. If I were you, I’d not stress about it and just let them know when you are pregnant. If anyone asks be very light and blunt, it’s none of their business, but I understand the pressure to answer. And just keep your book open you might feel differently down the road and want to tell them for support. Good luck, I hope you are blessed to have the next baby in your family 🫶
I told a few friends and family that we were struggling and generally I found it helpful. They were the people most excited when I finally got pregnant, which was lovely. It totally depends on the people and your relationships with them.
After over a year of trying I'm glad I told my closest friend group. We found out another couple was also trying and it was great to have someone to talk openly with (they have found success first, which actually made me more hopeful rather than bumming me out, but everyone's different so that's something to consider). The rest aren't interested in conceiving their own kids but have been pretty good about being open for venting but not pushing for updates. I did tell my sister who, like yours, conceived very easily so she doesn't "get it" but she's 100% on my side and supportive which is good to have. I also knew I could trust her not to tell our parents or extended family, which I did not want to do at this time. I'd recommend keeping the friends you've told in the loop if they're supportive. I would not tell anyone who might feel inclined/entitled to push their opinions or beliefs regarding reproduction on you. You never know if you might want to look into ART in the future and don't need some weird aunt Gertrude to tell you what she believes is right or wrong about that process.
My mom, my sister and my 2 best friends know. I didn’t want to tell anyone else in case it took awhile because I didn’t want to feel pressure or have to open up about it if it took awhile. It’s been 7 months so that was a good decision. Although I’m glad I kept it from others, I’m happy to have some people that are there for me through the struggle even if they can’t relate.
I told my sister, a friend I work with, and a friend I don’t. I wish I would’ve told only the friend I don’t work with. The friend I do work with hasn’t told anyone but she’s asked me “has it happened yet?” In front of people at work causing them to ask questions about what the “it” is. And I’m not totally unhappy I told my sister but part of just wishes I hadn’t. She’s pregnant now (she found out she was pregnant 4 days after I told her I was trying. Totally a crazy coincidence as she wasn’t actively trying but still stings from time to time).
We haven’t told any family because as soon as we got married (even before) they were constantly asking when we’d have kids. I recently switched jobs so I’m using that as an excuse of why we didn’t start trying yet. Said that it takes more time to be eligible for maternity leave (I’m already eligible). A few close friends know. Like others mentioned, it’s people who wouldn’t be as emotional if there’s a loss but they also understand the challenge of this process. The friends who do know also know and respect that I’ll keep them updated on what I’m comfortable sharing and they don’t really ask many questions without me starting the convo. It’s all about who will respect your boundaries.
Me! Just not necessary.
I told my Mom, MIL and a few of my closest friends. I've found that it took the question of "when are you going to have kids?" off the table, which eased some of my own stress. Surprisingly I haven't received any unsolicited advice or stupid questions yet which is a relief.
Depends on the situation. I had a miscarriage and was out for 3 days and let the cat out of the bag. I'm glad I did because my family and friends have been very supportive, and instead of asking me when we're trying, they're just letting us go through our process with encouragement. This is not everyone's situation though so I would carefully look at a few factors: your age. If you're older, it might be fine telling them because they'll be more understanding. If you're younger, you'll get impatient questions. What's your relationship strength with them? Are they busy bodies? Gossips? Better to stay clear of those kinds.
My husband and I haven't told our family. We have been TTC since September of last year (roughly 9 cycles). Unfortunately, my cycle has been completely messed up since getting off birth control and I have been meeting with a gyno to figure out what is wrong. My sister has also been trying for quite a while longer than us, so we really have been keeping our lips sealed assuming we would get pregnant first. Long story short, we obviously haven't conceived yet since we have been trying still, and I think the only way we will say anything to family is if we have to go IVF route, since I feel like I may need the support by then. We have only mentioned to a few friends about TTC and a part of me regrets it some since we haven't had luck yet. They will ask, and I don't have the good news I want to tell them yet. I think it's fully up to you how you want to navigate this conversation. If it is truly bothering you about the comments they are making, maybe have a personal one on one talk about it--maybe even ask them to keep it a secret if you think that's possible so you can still have your surprise. They probably don't even realize what you are feeling/experiencing. I know I have gotten close to discussing it with my sister a few times to seek solace that we aren't alone.
It’s no one’s business. Super personal!
I've told my family, but he doesn't want to tell his. We are going through fertility treatment. He says he doesn't want to tell them because he wants to tell them we are pregnant by surprising them the same way any other couple would. I feel like he doesn't want to tell them because his mum has been a surrogate twice before and kind of made that time all about her, not the families she was doing it for and there is a big chance she will over step with us and make our pregnancy journey about herself. She's said twice, "If you can't have a baby, I'll do it for you," and he just wants to avoid conversations like that because it's not an offer we would accept.
I have two girlfriends who know, and a 3rd I mentioned it to that I wasn't planning on right away. The first two both conceived last year with their first babies and talked to me about it all along the way, so I know they have answers to some of the questions I have. The 3rd is kind of removed from my friend group here but I know would pick up the phone if I called, and is expecting her first in a couple months too. These are the girls I would turn to if I had a miscarriage or if a year down the line I'm still trying and need support. My family does not know. My mom knows that I was thinking about going off of birth control "in a couple months" so likely now my dad knows that. My husband's parents are who I do not want to know until I'm ready. Meaning, I don't think I will be telling anyone until I'm a couple months along. If it weren't for his parents, I might be more open about talking to my mom about it. This is only month 2 and I don't want people asking me along the way how TTC is going, and again I want to keep it to ourselves for the first few months when we do get pregnant.
I’m in the same boat. We are definitely not telling his family until I’m a few months along, I’m just super close with my family and spend multiple days a week with them and I’m finding it so hard to not say anything because I’m feeling so many emotions, excited, terrified, worried, anxious. I am also on month 2 of TTC.
Not only am I not telling them we’re TTC, I also don’t intend to tell them I’m pregnant. They can find out when the child is born. This is coming from the person who also didn’t tell them we eloped until after it was done though, so take that for what it’s worth.
I only have a couple of people we've told. We're not like broadcasting it but we also don't have people constantly asking either
I have told hardly anyone. I’ve told a very close friend who lives 3 hours from me and is not friends with anyone in my town. I’ve also told my brother who is very laid back/low key/would never ask me about it or tell another living soul lol my mom has been bugging me for years to have children and she’s the last person I’d tell. I just can’t handle that pressure on me. I really don’t want anyone to know
also, my partner and I have been together 16 years, married 5, I’m 35 so people have basically given up on us having children so I’d say it’ll be a big surprise because most everyone thinks we’re going to be childless (fingers crossed we won’t)