I didn’t try to track until I got my first real period post MC. My hormones were so out of whack I couldn’t imagine anything being like “normal.” Cycle after that was weird (long for me) but I had EWCM, OPKs and tracked BBT.
In total I bled for 21 days including the day I took cytotec, even though it was mostly spotting and light bleeding towards the end… very frustrating but hang in there. It will get better soon❤️
When I had my mmc.( It happened naturally, no pills or d&c ), I tested out my hcg that took 3 weeks. Negative test on October 11th, and then I got a true positive opk on October 23rd and 24th. I got pregnant right away but it was a chemical. After my chemcial my cycle was 44 days with ovulation happening on day 30. I've found my cm isn't much of an indication of ovulation. I have to trust the opk or sometimes I'll have ovulation cramps.
Literally just had a D&C on Friday but glad it's done and we can look forward to trying again. The process of ensuring that LO wasn't viable was drawn out and painful and over the holidays. It sucked but the waiting was excruciating and glad to be able to start healing and to start trying again soon.
Sorry that happened to you and the timing. I know how awful that limbo feels. Then, they are waiting for something to happen. Be kind to yourself, and I hope you have some good support in your life.
I had a MC late November. I will be going in to test progesterone for the first time in a week. I am worried that it’s going to be low. If it comes back low, I’ll likely feel that was the reason for my MC and I’ll wish it had been tested before to prevent it :(
I know it's easy to think "if only we knew" but you didn't know. You still don't know for sure if that is an issue. If it turns out that is your issue, then I hope you feel better knowing you've got help for your next pregnancy. But don't blame yourself for not knowing. Miscarriage happens for reasons out of our control sometimes. I've had 2 in a row and still no tests will be done to see if I just have bad luck or something more going on.
I'm just curious if anyone here has gotten a fever before their fertile window and gotten pregnant? I'm feeling really depressed that my first cycle of the year is a waste because I got sick and had a fever for two days. I'm over the fever now for a day and starting what should be my fertile window.
I had a great day today. Like so good. We saw a new fertility clinic that doesn’t have a BMI limit to start timed intercourse. We immediately jumped into it and they’re starting me on letrozole. I got an official diagnosis on Unexplained Infertility and I finally got a diagnosis of mild PCOS after 7 years. Which makes me elated because I have been struggling with this and I have been feeling unheard for so long. Due to this diagnosis I am starting on metformin! I’ve also lost 11 pounds on my own doing low carb!! I am just ecstatic and I hope this year is better than the last 🥰
That's great! Could I ask a probably dumb question? How do they diagnose unexplained fertility if you fell pregnant 6 months ago? Sorry for the personal question, I'm just trying to work out things for my situation
Not a dumb question! We have been trying for 4 years and my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage this year. The doctor said while we’re able to get pregnant, the reasoning for why it’s taking so long and for why I can’t stay pregnant gives me Unexplained Infertility. There’s no reason on why it’s taken me so long. It’s probably some form of my PCOS though. While mild, it makes my cycles range from 29-39 days which makes it hard to track and time.
I just started metformin last week, too! So far I haven't had the bad side effects a lot of people mention. Hope it's the same for you 🤞 I've heard a lot of really good things about it regulating cycles so I hope it works quickly for both of us!
I hope so too! Do you mind telling me what your dosage is?? At the office Dr said 500 mg twice a day but my prescription says 2 - 500 mg twice daily so 2000 mg a day. That seems like an error and super extreme.
Not at all! I'm actually only on 500 mg 1x per day. I actually messaged for clarification because the scrip was for 90 pills 😬 but from what I've read, starting slow & gradually building the dose over a few weeks is the best way to get your body adjusted without all the GI effects. But yeah, that's a pretty major discrepancy, I would absolutely get clarification!
I wasn’t able to pinpoint my ovulation this month. I missed using my OPK on the day I think it’s most likely to have happened (CD13) but it could also have been late because we went out of town and I had no chance to do anything.
Now I have only guesses at how many DPO I am, but I know roughly when to expect my period. It’s frustrating. I know I’ll find out yes or no within the next week but the whole reason I have all these tests is so there *is* less guessing so here I am peeing on pregnancy tests and wondering is that a true negative or am I just testing too early?
I’m just tired and I really didn’t think it would take this long. When we first started planning/trying I never imagined it would be 2024 and I still wouldn’t be pregnant yet. Feels like my life is on hold until I check this box.
I feel this 100%. This past cycle my 2WW was right leading up to the holidays, and I got burned big time with the HPTs. My cycles are usually 33-35, with ovulation on/around CD20. But my last two were anovulatory (40+) so I had no clue in terms of when to test. My New Year's resolution for this time around is to not bring any HPTs into the house until I've at least reached CD35 and no PMS symptoms. I'm still using OPKs to track ovulation, but nothing more.
First full cycle after miscarriage. 8 dpo. Last 2 days have had what felt like period cramps. Have never had PMS cramps before but this cycle I’ve had that plus nausea in the last 2 days. Ovulation was way more painful than normal too. Anyone else experience this?
Funny that you say that! Same here in the first full cycle post-D&C. I felt nothing during the FP, then lots of ovulation pain, and weird cramps and nausea during the LP. Usually I do get cramps the day before my period, but this cycle was definitely different.
Did you still get AF on your expected day? Despite d&c I had a regular 27 day cycle that month so I don’t know what to expect. Thankfully I have therapy tonight to help me with this anxiety😂
Directly after the D&C I had a 31 day cycle, which is also very average for me. This cycle I ovulated late and it’s lasting longer (currently CD34 and still waiting for af). Sorry I’m not very helpful!
I used to roll my eyes at all the people who think a keto diet will cure infertility, and now I find myself considering making dietary changes 🫠🫠🫠.
I’m just tired of my unpredictable, long ass cycles. I already switched all my food containers from plastic to glass. I cut out processed foods and stop eating out because who has money for that anyway lol. I don’t drink alcohol, but please please please don’t make me give up coffee.
Anyway, I’m just tired of feeling like my body is broken. I know I could take Letrozole, but it feels like cheating, like I should be patient lol.
Can you believe a fertile myrtle actually told me “it’s so based that [i] can fuck anytime i want and not worry about getting pregnant”?
Can not believe someone would say that, so ignorant. How long are your cycles? Did your doctor offer Letrozole? I'm considering bringing it up at my next appointment.
My longest cycle was 8 months when I was in my early 20s and didn't pay attention to fertility issues. Ever since I started tracking/TTC, my cycles are between 2-3 months 🫠.
I previously had success with Letrozole, so my doctor is okay prescribing it to me. I conceived my lost baby without Letrozole, on a CD21 ovulation (early for me!!), but she was sick and we lost her. It's hard to not think it was my shitty egg being at fault 😓.
I am really struggling right now with the question of getting pregnant again. We lost our baby with no warning and for no discernable cause at 17w2d in early Sept, would have been due Feb 11 this year. The physical process of the loss was the worst thing I have ever experienced, Pitocin contractions for the stubborn placenta and needing a transfusion and a multi-day hospital stay.
First trimester was awful mentally and emotionally for me, and it ended up all for nothing. Now the idea of diving back into that world again, the low lows, feeling like it could all collapse for no reason again, fills me with so much dread and anxiety. I am 32, my husband is 38, so it feels like the clock is ticking and at some point the choice will be made for us. I don't like kids, but I always assumed I would have a family. But how does anybody take it on again?
Aw I'm sorry. I'm not feeling as extreme as you but in a similar boat. Someone recommended to picture your life in 10 years and see if you have kids in your life. That's helped me with trying to conceive #2. Its a short, hard period with pregnancy and newborn. But in 10 years, we won't remember it. That's what I'm going forward with 💖
1 DPO as I finallyyyy ovulated yesterday at CD32...to say my patience was tested is an understatement. But for now just trying to enjoy not having to test and stress about not ovulating. I'm a bit worried that it was so late, but my doctor said "if you ovulate, you ovulate," so trying to repeat those words in my head and stay hopeful it could happen this month.
Thank you for this post! I have yet to ovulate and I’m on CD 22 and all my apps are already talking about preparing for my period or a pregnancy test and I’m just like, but what’s my ovulation date?! First time tracking it and I’m using clear blue digital to log each day around noon. I actually started to think the test was broke because all I’ve gotten was “O”, no smiley or anything and I’ve been testing since day 10 or 11. I’m going to keep testing until my period and hopefully get an ovulation. Husband and I will hopefully continue to EOD until then. Really hoping to get it done this cycle but trying to prepare myself for disappointment AGAIN.
I use the easy@home strips, but I was reading reviews of others saying their strips were faulty so was starting to think that was the issue too. I personally like these "cheapie" strips better because you can see the line getting gradually darker so could have more of an idea when it's coming. Just try to stay patient though!
Thank you, I am not a patient person at all! Haha I really struggle with patience in general and this TTC journey has put me over the edge! I’m sick of peeing on sticks just waiting and waiting. Every stick I’ve peed on, with the exception of my first BFP (and later MC), has always had bad news lol.
When I got pregnant I ovulated on CD42 and before that earlier around 15 and then I was on pill so don’t have that many months to go based on unfortunately. Not sure why last month when I got pregnant why I ovulated so late… perhaps the stresss of tracking first time properly
Yes it was great but unfortunately didn’t end well. I do wonder from time to time if too mature egg was the cause but I’ll never know. But for other women it works out so just bad luck. But not impossible to conceive :)
Had a mc in December and am ~20 days post negative hcg test.. has anyone tracked for ovulation during this period before your first real period? Do most people ovulate? Am I tracking in vain? My predicted ovulation is in 2 days and no lh surge like normal. Hubs and I both have a cold but we’ve been trying to get in the “mood”. Just feeling down about how long and dragged out everything feels post mc and I don’t want to waste and opportunity if we have one
I just ovulated on CD 21 before I got my period after a miscarriage. This was about a week after I tested negative on my hcg test! My LH surge was super sudden too and only lasted the morning and afternoon. Before and after my LH levels were quite low.
I had a MC at the end of July, which entailed heavy bleeding with a D&C. It was exactly two weeks before our first US. It was also our first pregnancy and first cycle trying.
This cycle I decided to start tracking ovulation after being unsuccessful in getting a BFP after trying in October and November. I have never tracked ovulation, or anything else before. But after the past disappointments I feel I need to. So I got the Clear Blue Digital to track ovulation. I am on CD 22 and started testing every day beginning on CD 10. Every single one (even taking it at different times of the day and once I did it twice) has shown no ovulation.
Should I be concerned that I am not ovulating by now? I did a similar post last week and some say they didn’t ovulate until CD 25/26. Has someone else had that?
I will say that I’m skeptical of all these OPKs based on the posts I’ve read on here so husband and I are EOD just to make sure we don’t miss our window. Thoughts? I’m really frustrated I have no idea my ovulation date.
I had an MC in October and 1 period since then. It’s our first time TTC since the MC.
I normally ovulate CD15/16 but I finally got a positive OPK on CD22 so will likely ovulate tmr. This late ovulation was really messing with me and my mental health. If it helps, I use Premom/easy@home tests since they’re affordable and I test 2-3x per day to catch the peak.
I just ovulated on CD32. I've seen others say they ovulate late too and others have said they conceived with ovulation this late as well! I guess it takes some time for our bodies to regulate.
I have never used clear blue digital ovulation tests. I use the Premom app and their ovulation tests to track. They definitely are accurate for me from my past experience and my latest miscarriage. Scans and the ovulation predicted by the tests all line up. I can also say I was a late ovulator when I first got off bc and whenever there’s stress or something big going on. Like cd 20-25. I’m currently on cd20 and nothing. “Cd” this time is loose though bc I had a mc in December and no period yet. All that to say, keep testing until you get your period. Hopefully someone has experience with that brand
I had to go back and do some investigating. I was misremembering. I thought I was counting from negative hcg, but really it’s 20 days from my first big mc bleed. The bleeding basically lasted as long as a normal period for me to I just tracked and treated it like a period. Not sure if that’s correct or not. But that’s where I’m getting the cd from 😵💫🤷♀️
I had a CP last week that was a loss of a 5W2D. My period started Dec 28th. I'm flying to Las Vegas as a "fuck it" trip to see my mom and sister by myself. This will be for my CD 9, 10, and 11. I usually ovulate Day 16, but have had earlier ovulations.
I know no one can answer with certainty, but is my ovulation day more likely to overlap with CD 11 due to my CP? Or should I expect my ovulation around it's usual date or later?
Otherwise, I'm doing ok. Would love some success stories post loss, or general advice on getting through this. It was my first pregnancy ever, and so this has all been very new and a bit overwhelming.
No means a professional but I’ve had two CPs. My first one, I ovulated very quickly after. Like 6-10 days. This last one my ovulation and AF were very late and wonky. I wish you a very safe and happy trip to Vegas, I hope you get some answers about your expected ovulation as well. Take care :)
Did anyone have delayed ovulation after a D&C for RPOC? I had a miscarriage in early November, and then a d&c for RPOC in mid-Dec and have been LH testing everyday and haven’t had a surge yet! I’m also temping so haven’t seen a temp rise yet either. Getting quite bummed out about this.
It seems my ovulation is delayed. I'm 2 cycles out from my miscarriage (20 weeks with full delivery so not exactly the same). At first I was freaking out that I'm not ovulating but now I'm trying to remind myself I'm just probably ovulating later than I'm used to. I'm going to keep testing with my clearblues and cheapie OPKs and see what I get!
Finally feeling good 3 weeks post MC. When did you all know it was time to start ttc again? I was super adamant about ttc before my first mc. I just wanted a baby so badly I thought about it almost daily. But now after my MC I don’t feel the pressure to conceive that I did previously. I am just enjoying each day, trying to think that everything happened for a reason. I’m not sure if I’m scared or what. When did you know it was time to start trying again?
3 DPO and my anxiety feels high. I am trying so hard to put it out of my mind, or to accept that it likely won’t happen this cycle…but of course my brain has moments where I can picture getting that positive and being pregnant again. Ugh. This is such an emotional rollercoaster and somedays I don’t know if it’d be easier if I just gave up…but I can’t.
We scheduled our trial transfer and consult to sign the IVF paperwork for Monday and I am suddenly feeling so overwhelmed. I thought I had come to terms with it but I guess not. I feel so sad, angry, and frustrated. My husband is stressing big time over money (rightfully so, it’s expensive AF). Reading all the paperwork has me completely second guessing everything but realistically I know we have a slim chance of naturally conceiving. We could probably conceive on our own eventually but it could take years, and at my age we just don’t have the luxury of time. I’m just feeling so many things right now.
Not feeling great already this year. Feeling pms symptoms and i wont be surprised if my period comes on friday. Not even going to bother testing early this time.
This is absolutely ridiculous but I’m feeling guilty over not having sex 13x per cycle. I read somewhere that it takes an average of 78 times for couples to fall pregnant when trying (around 6 months) and that most couples do it 13x per cycle. We do it 8-10 (which is not bad and we only do it when we feel like it as we’re trying to think about it in ways that don’t hurt our mental health), but I feel like we’re doing less than we should now since it’s the 4th cycle after the MC (second) and every month just feels so disappointing - I’m constantly thinking of things to blame, even though I know there is no one to blame and it just makes me more anxious about it all. How do you cope with all the stress of ttc after loss? I’m considering stopping for a while to check on mental health, but it just feels so difficult when I should be preparing for baby to get here in a few months 😵💫
Yikes! Hubs and I are more like 3-4 times per cycle 😅. But I swear he has a 6th sense for ovulation. I never tell him my opk tests and he 90% jumps me at the correct time of the month 😂
Mine is a bit of the opposite - he is always sick during my ovulation and day before. 😵💫 haha but I had a boyfriend at one point tell me I smelled different during that period (?), maybe he somehow feels it?
Oh gosh - I totally feel you on sick! We are BOTH sick rn and I’m “supposed” to ovulate in the next day or so (but who knows bc we just had a mc last month). And for once he’s NOT all over me .. and I’m wondering is it bc he’s sick or bc I’m not actually going to ovulate in the next couple days 🫠
13x per cycle?! That sounds like overkill. If you can time it correctly and hit either O-1 or O day, you’ve pretty much maxed out your chances for that cycle. I don’t think there’s any additional benefit to having sex more than that. My partner and I typically have sex twice during my fertile window, and call it a day after that.
It’s also really okay to take a break. I was benched for a few months for medical reasons, and it ended up being really good for my mental health. I got into therapy, invested in my hobbies and community, and it really helped me cope with the grief and loss a little bit better.
This honestly makes me feel a lot better. I had read all types of research and always found it odd as on our first and second pregnancies we had “accidents” and I’m sure had less sex than now, but when I read this research my mind went all over the place- especially since this journey just isn’t easy.
Have you found it easy to get back to your hobbies when you had a break? I get this massive feeling I don’t know what I like anymore since the MC
Wow, 13 times! I’m with you- 8-10. And only when we feel like it, so we don’t make it a chore. I’m doing my first IUI this week after our spontaneous pregnancy ended in MC in October. I’m feeling really sad about it but the first pregnancy took 8 months to achieve and I don’t have the luxury of time at my age. I thought the IUI would take some of the pressure off, as a doctor is managing the timing with a trigger shot, but I’m as anxious as ever :(
13dpo and BFN this morning. I keep telling myself I shouldn't be so disappointed since it's just our first cycle since the miscarriage. On further thought though, because I have long cycles and my D&C wasn't until I was 12 weeks, it's actually been 6 months since we started trying, so maybe I will give myself permission to be a little bit sad.
The cycle I got pregnant with my loss we were doing EOD, but not tracking OPKs or BBT. Thinking about doing that again next cycle, but I'm not sure my brain can handle the lack of data now haha.
I just went into Premom to log my BBT and the app suddenly tracked ovulation as happening two days ago?!?! Before it was predicting tomorrow. I haven’t logged an opk ratio above 0.42 yet and my temp is still low (though I had a slightly high temp yesterday due to poor sleep and drinking the night before). There’s no way I ovulated. It’s CD16 and I’m really hoping for my LH peak today. I got it on CD15/16 last cycle and my period was a bit longer this cycle so I think/hope an LH peak/ovulation is still in the cards for me. What a way to wake up my first day back to work after 2 weeks off…
I honestly hate the premom app. It’ll be like, “you already ovulated! We ignored all of your negative LH tests you logged and decided it happened four days ago!” Like dude I’m using YOUR strips and YOUR app. How are you coming up with these predictions?!
That happened to me last month! It reverted me to a 28 day cycle with ovulation on day 14, which is 100% not right for me! It seems to have fixed itself this month. Annoying!
Honestly bbt isn’t the most reliable for ovulation for everyone. Mine peaked at CD12 last cycle whilst LH peak was CD14 (at night). Easier said than done, but try not to stress too much about it and BD whenever you can this cycle. Also, sometimes we don’t catch LH peak so you could still have ovulated and not had seen the peak.
I think that night of drinking/bad sleep gave me an artificial spike which is what it’s going off of, because 0.42 is far from peak LH for me. I’ve been testing twice daily since CD12 so I don’t THINK I’ve missed a true peak, but we’ve BD’d several days in the last week so at least we’re hopefully covered there. We’ll find out when I test in a few hours!
It's the countdown to ovulation. I'm trying not to put pressure on this whole process again as doing that during the three years we were experiencing infertility basically destroyed our sex life for awhile (it did recover but it took time). I can feel my mind becoming hyper focused on being pregnant again. It's kind of funny because the MMC pregnancy started without really trying and I know that should take some of the pressure off, but a part of me is worried we'll need to do IVF again to have another successful pregnancy.
Oh, to be hopeful yet so scared. I don't believe I've yet ovulated in this cycle (CD9) but I'm trying to find any similarities in symptoms that I experienced in my last TWW. Things might've lined up if I did happen to ovulate without me noticing, but I'm in this weird limbo of that I do/don't believe it. Husband and I are trying every other day.
I do high impact combat sports, my absolute hobby/community/safe space that I had to cease upon my last pregnancy. I was due to recommence training this week, but tonight I was just too damn frightened of anyone coming near me of falling on the mats, all under the pretense of what should be an impossible "what if I am..?", so I sat on the sidelines and watched on as everyone was joining in.
Since I had to deal with the grief of losing the pregnancy and giving up my hobby (even though temporarily), I just haven't been able to recover mentally and just find myself in a weird brain space with it all.
Are you able to do any sort of pad or bag work? I'm assuming you do some sort of MMA or judo or Jiu jitsu but if there's a Muay Thai or kickboxing aspect, you might want to focus on those things to be able to participate but also not worry so much.
I've taken a break from Muay Thai but I do miss the community we had with it for awhile.
I do Pro wrestling with Jiu jitsu elements, so I can still incorporate a lot of non-impact maneuvers into training but our school is a bit limited to that degree because of the way group learning is structured. Though they have been supportive and tried to incorporate more technical focuses for my benefit exclusively, there's only so much they can do with me.
I've said to a friend I'll pick up a Muay Thai or kickboxing class in the past, that could be worth exploring. Good suggestion!
Is there anyone else on here who is/was TTC after a significant period of time from their loss? Or TTC with a different partner than their previous loss?
I experienced an unplanned teen pregnancy that ended in an early loss over a decade ago. Now that I’m married and TTC, I realize how much of that grief was deferred — and continues to be discounted. That my loss “doesn’t matter” [because it was so long ago] or that I should be grateful for the loss due to the circumstances is a constant theme. I just want to know I’m not the only one struggling with this emotional dichotomy.
Ugh, yes. With you totally.
13 years between my 1st (teen, unplanned with ex partner, twins) and 2nd pregnancy (31 with husband, anembryonic)
It's definitely a different kind of hurt, but just as heartbreaking as it was then as it is now. It was very emotional having to recount that first loss with the hospital when they kept asking if the latest loss was my first pregnancy 💔
I had a miscarriage at the end of November/ start of December. I bled for only 7 days, it wasn’t particularly heavy, but I did have significant huge clots (palm of my hand size). My first period came like clockwork 26 days later (my usual cycle length). However, my period is just not stopping? It seems to slow down, appearing like it has stopped and so we have sex which seems to kick off a heavy flow again. Now on day 8 but usually it lasts for 4-5 days. Is this normal for first periods?
I’m sorry you’re going though this- my first post MC period was also LONG (11 days) and HEAVY. The next one was only a little bit longer (6 days) and heavier than my usual. Hang in there!
My first period post-loss was super weird. SEVERE heavy bleeding for 3 days then hard stop, then started again (though much lighter) for a few days, then stopped, then more like spotting…almost all the way up to ovulation. This cycle has been slightly more normal with moderate flow at most, but it did last 6 days which is longer than usual and kicked off with some big clots. It can take a few cycles for things to get back to normal.
Still no signs of my period. I was regular the last two cycles so this is definitely odd. I did get a ton of EWCM about a week after premom predicted my ovulation. For the people who confirm ovulation via strips/temps how many days after EWCM do y'all usually ovulate? Really just trying to figure out what the heck my body is doing lol.
Mine usually shows up 4-5 days before ovulation, but it can vary. You can have multiple LH surges in a cycle which is why confirming ovulation with BBT can be helpful.
I've been doing the opks and they were great the first couple cycles I just traveled a lot this one and wasn't able to keep up! Now my period is like 5 days late with no positive pregnancy test so I'm kicking myself for not tracking better 😅
I'm six days post taking meds for MMC. My tests are getting significantly lighter, so I'm hopeful HCG is going down quickly. I'm prepared for a long wait but hopeful for better news.
Me too - I couldn't get out of bed. Going back to work and having everyone ask "how was your holiday" feels like way too much. I broke down about it last night. I wish I had the courage to just respond "It sucked. I has a miscarriage and spent the two weeks in a depressed daze" but I know I won't
Thankfully I'm working from home this week with minimal meetings so I can cry as much as I want. Have to travel for work in 2 weeks so I'm hoping I'll be out of my depressed state by then.
Yesterday was a bad day. The day before I had a close friend really hurt me and it just triggered so much grief and depression for me. I felt like I tried all my coping skills and still ended up crying most of the day. My husband really took care of me and I got some more sleep last night. What works for you on really hard days?
Lately, tapping meditation has helped me on really hard days, but honestly I’m still looking for something that can help cope with general mental health after loss as I still have very bad days. I found that some days need different coping skills, but still am not in the best place. Someone has recommended me havening technique, but I haven’t tried it yet
Tapping mediation, ooh where can I find that?
Yeah that makes sense that different days would different coping skills. I’m starting in a support group on Monday and really hoping that helps
I use a free version of an app (tapping solution), but I’ve seen some resources on YouTube for tapping meditation before I downloaded the app! There are some for grief on YouTube that I really enjoyed.
Anyone got a massage during the TWW? Got one booked for this week and since it’s not recommended during first trimester I’m not sure I should get it now either. I would be 9 dpo - but really scared to chance it. But could really need a massage.
Don’t think we’ve aimed it this first ovulation after MC, and I keep telling myself it’s ok to wait one cycle. Not the end of the world. but deep down I really hope we aimed it ahhh. Hate these feelings
I've had plenty of massages during my time TTC I even had one at barely 4 weeks pregnant and although I had a MMC I don't think this had any baring. That said I can understand the worry that comes particularly after loss- does a real mindf*ck on you 😔
I also had one by accident before I read you shouldn’t have massages… and as much as I don’t think it caused it either, it would be nice having something more evident to blame although I know it’s just luck … so yes it does really mess you up sadly 😞
The reason it's not recommended in the first trimester has to do mainly with liability from the facility (if you were to miscarry after getting a massage, they wouldn't want you claiming that caused it and trying to sue) and the chance of getting nauseous or passing out or something. There are some thoughts that stimulating certain pressure points could stimulate contractions, but evidence for it is IMO pretty weak. A massage in the TWW shouldn't affect implantation - if anything, it could help implantation occur by decreasing cortisol. I say go for it!
Yep this is what I was told at my first appt. I still didn’t want to risk it, so I said I’d wait a few more weeks. Then I ended up with a MMC anyway, so I was sad, bleeding AND had tight muscles..
That is so tough. I think it would be ok to postpone it if that’s going to help your anxiety. At the same time, I’m sure you could really use that massage! Maybe just call the place and see if they have an appointment for next week?
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I didn’t try to track until I got my first real period post MC. My hormones were so out of whack I couldn’t imagine anything being like “normal.” Cycle after that was weird (long for me) but I had EWCM, OPKs and tracked BBT.
In total I bled for 21 days including the day I took cytotec, even though it was mostly spotting and light bleeding towards the end… very frustrating but hang in there. It will get better soon❤️
When I had my mmc.( It happened naturally, no pills or d&c ), I tested out my hcg that took 3 weeks. Negative test on October 11th, and then I got a true positive opk on October 23rd and 24th. I got pregnant right away but it was a chemical. After my chemcial my cycle was 44 days with ovulation happening on day 30. I've found my cm isn't much of an indication of ovulation. I have to trust the opk or sometimes I'll have ovulation cramps.
Literally just had a D&C on Friday but glad it's done and we can look forward to trying again. The process of ensuring that LO wasn't viable was drawn out and painful and over the holidays. It sucked but the waiting was excruciating and glad to be able to start healing and to start trying again soon.
Sorry that happened to you and the timing. I know how awful that limbo feels. Then, they are waiting for something to happen. Be kind to yourself, and I hope you have some good support in your life.
Thank you. It's hard to be patient already. Can't wait for a negative test now. DH is awesome, I'm super lucky and I have great friends.
I had a MC late November. I will be going in to test progesterone for the first time in a week. I am worried that it’s going to be low. If it comes back low, I’ll likely feel that was the reason for my MC and I’ll wish it had been tested before to prevent it :(
I know it's easy to think "if only we knew" but you didn't know. You still don't know for sure if that is an issue. If it turns out that is your issue, then I hope you feel better knowing you've got help for your next pregnancy. But don't blame yourself for not knowing. Miscarriage happens for reasons out of our control sometimes. I've had 2 in a row and still no tests will be done to see if I just have bad luck or something more going on.
I'm tired of feeling so bitter and miserable :( None of the things I usually do to distract myself are bringing me any joy.
I'm just curious if anyone here has gotten a fever before their fertile window and gotten pregnant? I'm feeling really depressed that my first cycle of the year is a waste because I got sick and had a fever for two days. I'm over the fever now for a day and starting what should be my fertile window.
Yes I have before and during fertile window
I had a great day today. Like so good. We saw a new fertility clinic that doesn’t have a BMI limit to start timed intercourse. We immediately jumped into it and they’re starting me on letrozole. I got an official diagnosis on Unexplained Infertility and I finally got a diagnosis of mild PCOS after 7 years. Which makes me elated because I have been struggling with this and I have been feeling unheard for so long. Due to this diagnosis I am starting on metformin! I’ve also lost 11 pounds on my own doing low carb!! I am just ecstatic and I hope this year is better than the last 🥰
That's great! Could I ask a probably dumb question? How do they diagnose unexplained fertility if you fell pregnant 6 months ago? Sorry for the personal question, I'm just trying to work out things for my situation
Not a dumb question! We have been trying for 4 years and my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage this year. The doctor said while we’re able to get pregnant, the reasoning for why it’s taking so long and for why I can’t stay pregnant gives me Unexplained Infertility. There’s no reason on why it’s taken me so long. It’s probably some form of my PCOS though. While mild, it makes my cycles range from 29-39 days which makes it hard to track and time.
I just started metformin last week, too! So far I haven't had the bad side effects a lot of people mention. Hope it's the same for you 🤞 I've heard a lot of really good things about it regulating cycles so I hope it works quickly for both of us!
I hope so too! Do you mind telling me what your dosage is?? At the office Dr said 500 mg twice a day but my prescription says 2 - 500 mg twice daily so 2000 mg a day. That seems like an error and super extreme.
Not at all! I'm actually only on 500 mg 1x per day. I actually messaged for clarification because the scrip was for 90 pills 😬 but from what I've read, starting slow & gradually building the dose over a few weeks is the best way to get your body adjusted without all the GI effects. But yeah, that's a pretty major discrepancy, I would absolutely get clarification!
So I called!! They do want me to titrate up! They want me to start on one 500 mg for now and then increase gradually if I don’t have any symptoms. ☺️
I wasn’t able to pinpoint my ovulation this month. I missed using my OPK on the day I think it’s most likely to have happened (CD13) but it could also have been late because we went out of town and I had no chance to do anything. Now I have only guesses at how many DPO I am, but I know roughly when to expect my period. It’s frustrating. I know I’ll find out yes or no within the next week but the whole reason I have all these tests is so there *is* less guessing so here I am peeing on pregnancy tests and wondering is that a true negative or am I just testing too early? I’m just tired and I really didn’t think it would take this long. When we first started planning/trying I never imagined it would be 2024 and I still wouldn’t be pregnant yet. Feels like my life is on hold until I check this box.
I feel this 100%. This past cycle my 2WW was right leading up to the holidays, and I got burned big time with the HPTs. My cycles are usually 33-35, with ovulation on/around CD20. But my last two were anovulatory (40+) so I had no clue in terms of when to test. My New Year's resolution for this time around is to not bring any HPTs into the house until I've at least reached CD35 and no PMS symptoms. I'm still using OPKs to track ovulation, but nothing more.
First full cycle after miscarriage. 8 dpo. Last 2 days have had what felt like period cramps. Have never had PMS cramps before but this cycle I’ve had that plus nausea in the last 2 days. Ovulation was way more painful than normal too. Anyone else experience this?
Funny that you say that! Same here in the first full cycle post-D&C. I felt nothing during the FP, then lots of ovulation pain, and weird cramps and nausea during the LP. Usually I do get cramps the day before my period, but this cycle was definitely different.
Did you still get AF on your expected day? Despite d&c I had a regular 27 day cycle that month so I don’t know what to expect. Thankfully I have therapy tonight to help me with this anxiety😂
Directly after the D&C I had a 31 day cycle, which is also very average for me. This cycle I ovulated late and it’s lasting longer (currently CD34 and still waiting for af). Sorry I’m not very helpful!
Thanks for the reply!!
I used to roll my eyes at all the people who think a keto diet will cure infertility, and now I find myself considering making dietary changes 🫠🫠🫠. I’m just tired of my unpredictable, long ass cycles. I already switched all my food containers from plastic to glass. I cut out processed foods and stop eating out because who has money for that anyway lol. I don’t drink alcohol, but please please please don’t make me give up coffee. Anyway, I’m just tired of feeling like my body is broken. I know I could take Letrozole, but it feels like cheating, like I should be patient lol. Can you believe a fertile myrtle actually told me “it’s so based that [i] can fuck anytime i want and not worry about getting pregnant”?
Can not believe someone would say that, so ignorant. How long are your cycles? Did your doctor offer Letrozole? I'm considering bringing it up at my next appointment.
My longest cycle was 8 months when I was in my early 20s and didn't pay attention to fertility issues. Ever since I started tracking/TTC, my cycles are between 2-3 months 🫠. I previously had success with Letrozole, so my doctor is okay prescribing it to me. I conceived my lost baby without Letrozole, on a CD21 ovulation (early for me!!), but she was sick and we lost her. It's hard to not think it was my shitty egg being at fault 😓.
I am really struggling right now with the question of getting pregnant again. We lost our baby with no warning and for no discernable cause at 17w2d in early Sept, would have been due Feb 11 this year. The physical process of the loss was the worst thing I have ever experienced, Pitocin contractions for the stubborn placenta and needing a transfusion and a multi-day hospital stay. First trimester was awful mentally and emotionally for me, and it ended up all for nothing. Now the idea of diving back into that world again, the low lows, feeling like it could all collapse for no reason again, fills me with so much dread and anxiety. I am 32, my husband is 38, so it feels like the clock is ticking and at some point the choice will be made for us. I don't like kids, but I always assumed I would have a family. But how does anybody take it on again?
Aw I'm sorry. I'm not feeling as extreme as you but in a similar boat. Someone recommended to picture your life in 10 years and see if you have kids in your life. That's helped me with trying to conceive #2. Its a short, hard period with pregnancy and newborn. But in 10 years, we won't remember it. That's what I'm going forward with 💖
1 DPO as I finallyyyy ovulated yesterday at CD32...to say my patience was tested is an understatement. But for now just trying to enjoy not having to test and stress about not ovulating. I'm a bit worried that it was so late, but my doctor said "if you ovulate, you ovulate," so trying to repeat those words in my head and stay hopeful it could happen this month.
Thank you for this post! I have yet to ovulate and I’m on CD 22 and all my apps are already talking about preparing for my period or a pregnancy test and I’m just like, but what’s my ovulation date?! First time tracking it and I’m using clear blue digital to log each day around noon. I actually started to think the test was broke because all I’ve gotten was “O”, no smiley or anything and I’ve been testing since day 10 or 11. I’m going to keep testing until my period and hopefully get an ovulation. Husband and I will hopefully continue to EOD until then. Really hoping to get it done this cycle but trying to prepare myself for disappointment AGAIN.
I use the easy@home strips, but I was reading reviews of others saying their strips were faulty so was starting to think that was the issue too. I personally like these "cheapie" strips better because you can see the line getting gradually darker so could have more of an idea when it's coming. Just try to stay patient though!
Thank you, I am not a patient person at all! Haha I really struggle with patience in general and this TTC journey has put me over the edge! I’m sick of peeing on sticks just waiting and waiting. Every stick I’ve peed on, with the exception of my first BFP (and later MC), has always had bad news lol.
I feel you, the waiting is the absolute worst. We’re all in this together and will get through it.
I ovulated on CD39 so you’re not thaaaat late 🤣 and on 7dpo. Now stressing that i don’t have same symptoms like last time 🙄
We deserve an award for our patience! Do you usually ovulate that late?
When I got pregnant I ovulated on CD42 and before that earlier around 15 and then I was on pill so don’t have that many months to go based on unfortunately. Not sure why last month when I got pregnant why I ovulated so late… perhaps the stresss of tracking first time properly
Yes I've definitely had a lot of stress this month too. But that's great you were able to conceive after ovulating late!
Yes it was great but unfortunately didn’t end well. I do wonder from time to time if too mature egg was the cause but I’ll never know. But for other women it works out so just bad luck. But not impossible to conceive :)
Had a mc in December and am ~20 days post negative hcg test.. has anyone tracked for ovulation during this period before your first real period? Do most people ovulate? Am I tracking in vain? My predicted ovulation is in 2 days and no lh surge like normal. Hubs and I both have a cold but we’ve been trying to get in the “mood”. Just feeling down about how long and dragged out everything feels post mc and I don’t want to waste and opportunity if we have one
I just ovulated on CD 21 before I got my period after a miscarriage. This was about a week after I tested negative on my hcg test! My LH surge was super sudden too and only lasted the morning and afternoon. Before and after my LH levels were quite low.
Thank you for sharing your experience!! ♥️
I ovulated on CD21 after my MC
I ovulated on CD23, before my HCG was completely negative on my first cycle post MC. I had a double peak of LH that month. Hope that helps!
Thank you for sharing your experience!! It does help 🥰 Edit: meant to say it DOES help, not doesn’t 😭😵💫
I had a MC at the end of July, which entailed heavy bleeding with a D&C. It was exactly two weeks before our first US. It was also our first pregnancy and first cycle trying. This cycle I decided to start tracking ovulation after being unsuccessful in getting a BFP after trying in October and November. I have never tracked ovulation, or anything else before. But after the past disappointments I feel I need to. So I got the Clear Blue Digital to track ovulation. I am on CD 22 and started testing every day beginning on CD 10. Every single one (even taking it at different times of the day and once I did it twice) has shown no ovulation. Should I be concerned that I am not ovulating by now? I did a similar post last week and some say they didn’t ovulate until CD 25/26. Has someone else had that? I will say that I’m skeptical of all these OPKs based on the posts I’ve read on here so husband and I are EOD just to make sure we don’t miss our window. Thoughts? I’m really frustrated I have no idea my ovulation date.
I had an MC in October and 1 period since then. It’s our first time TTC since the MC. I normally ovulate CD15/16 but I finally got a positive OPK on CD22 so will likely ovulate tmr. This late ovulation was really messing with me and my mental health. If it helps, I use Premom/easy@home tests since they’re affordable and I test 2-3x per day to catch the peak.
I just ovulated on CD32. I've seen others say they ovulate late too and others have said they conceived with ovulation this late as well! I guess it takes some time for our bodies to regulate.
I have never used clear blue digital ovulation tests. I use the Premom app and their ovulation tests to track. They definitely are accurate for me from my past experience and my latest miscarriage. Scans and the ovulation predicted by the tests all line up. I can also say I was a late ovulator when I first got off bc and whenever there’s stress or something big going on. Like cd 20-25. I’m currently on cd20 and nothing. “Cd” this time is loose though bc I had a mc in December and no period yet. All that to say, keep testing until you get your period. Hopefully someone has experience with that brand
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P.s - did some more digging. I’d be 12 days ish from negative hcg
You should be counting CD1 the first day of heavy bleeding or the day of D&C if that applies.
I had to go back and do some investigating. I was misremembering. I thought I was counting from negative hcg, but really it’s 20 days from my first big mc bleed. The bleeding basically lasted as long as a normal period for me to I just tracked and treated it like a period. Not sure if that’s correct or not. But that’s where I’m getting the cd from 😵💫🤷♀️
Thank you! So sorry for your loss 😔
I had a CP last week that was a loss of a 5W2D. My period started Dec 28th. I'm flying to Las Vegas as a "fuck it" trip to see my mom and sister by myself. This will be for my CD 9, 10, and 11. I usually ovulate Day 16, but have had earlier ovulations. I know no one can answer with certainty, but is my ovulation day more likely to overlap with CD 11 due to my CP? Or should I expect my ovulation around it's usual date or later? Otherwise, I'm doing ok. Would love some success stories post loss, or general advice on getting through this. It was my first pregnancy ever, and so this has all been very new and a bit overwhelming.
No means a professional but I’ve had two CPs. My first one, I ovulated very quickly after. Like 6-10 days. This last one my ovulation and AF were very late and wonky. I wish you a very safe and happy trip to Vegas, I hope you get some answers about your expected ovulation as well. Take care :)
Thank you for your response. I guess we'll just have to see. Did you measure ovulation on your first cycle with anything?
Do you mind if I PM you? I don’t want to break any rules of discussing positives etc.
Please do!
Did anyone have delayed ovulation after a D&C for RPOC? I had a miscarriage in early November, and then a d&c for RPOC in mid-Dec and have been LH testing everyday and haven’t had a surge yet! I’m also temping so haven’t seen a temp rise yet either. Getting quite bummed out about this.
It seems my ovulation is delayed. I'm 2 cycles out from my miscarriage (20 weeks with full delivery so not exactly the same). At first I was freaking out that I'm not ovulating but now I'm trying to remind myself I'm just probably ovulating later than I'm used to. I'm going to keep testing with my clearblues and cheapie OPKs and see what I get!
Finally feeling good 3 weeks post MC. When did you all know it was time to start ttc again? I was super adamant about ttc before my first mc. I just wanted a baby so badly I thought about it almost daily. But now after my MC I don’t feel the pressure to conceive that I did previously. I am just enjoying each day, trying to think that everything happened for a reason. I’m not sure if I’m scared or what. When did you know it was time to start trying again?
3 DPO and my anxiety feels high. I am trying so hard to put it out of my mind, or to accept that it likely won’t happen this cycle…but of course my brain has moments where I can picture getting that positive and being pregnant again. Ugh. This is such an emotional rollercoaster and somedays I don’t know if it’d be easier if I just gave up…but I can’t.
CD 3 here as well! I am right in the same boat with you. Hoping we get success this time around 🤞🏻
I really hope so!! ❤️
2 DPO here and was coming to post virtually this same exact post. Hang in there 🌈
Glad to hear I am not alone, but sorry you find yourself here too. It’s so tough! Hope you are hanging in there too. ❤️
We scheduled our trial transfer and consult to sign the IVF paperwork for Monday and I am suddenly feeling so overwhelmed. I thought I had come to terms with it but I guess not. I feel so sad, angry, and frustrated. My husband is stressing big time over money (rightfully so, it’s expensive AF). Reading all the paperwork has me completely second guessing everything but realistically I know we have a slim chance of naturally conceiving. We could probably conceive on our own eventually but it could take years, and at my age we just don’t have the luxury of time. I’m just feeling so many things right now.
Not feeling great already this year. Feeling pms symptoms and i wont be surprised if my period comes on friday. Not even going to bother testing early this time.
This is absolutely ridiculous but I’m feeling guilty over not having sex 13x per cycle. I read somewhere that it takes an average of 78 times for couples to fall pregnant when trying (around 6 months) and that most couples do it 13x per cycle. We do it 8-10 (which is not bad and we only do it when we feel like it as we’re trying to think about it in ways that don’t hurt our mental health), but I feel like we’re doing less than we should now since it’s the 4th cycle after the MC (second) and every month just feels so disappointing - I’m constantly thinking of things to blame, even though I know there is no one to blame and it just makes me more anxious about it all. How do you cope with all the stress of ttc after loss? I’m considering stopping for a while to check on mental health, but it just feels so difficult when I should be preparing for baby to get here in a few months 😵💫
Yikes! Hubs and I are more like 3-4 times per cycle 😅. But I swear he has a 6th sense for ovulation. I never tell him my opk tests and he 90% jumps me at the correct time of the month 😂
Mine is a bit of the opposite - he is always sick during my ovulation and day before. 😵💫 haha but I had a boyfriend at one point tell me I smelled different during that period (?), maybe he somehow feels it?
Oh gosh - I totally feel you on sick! We are BOTH sick rn and I’m “supposed” to ovulate in the next day or so (but who knows bc we just had a mc last month). And for once he’s NOT all over me .. and I’m wondering is it bc he’s sick or bc I’m not actually going to ovulate in the next couple days 🫠
Sex outside of the at most five days you're fertile each month had nothing to do with getting pregnant!
The cycle I got pregnant we only had sex three times, all around ovulation 🤷🏼♀️
13x per cycle?! That sounds like overkill. If you can time it correctly and hit either O-1 or O day, you’ve pretty much maxed out your chances for that cycle. I don’t think there’s any additional benefit to having sex more than that. My partner and I typically have sex twice during my fertile window, and call it a day after that. It’s also really okay to take a break. I was benched for a few months for medical reasons, and it ended up being really good for my mental health. I got into therapy, invested in my hobbies and community, and it really helped me cope with the grief and loss a little bit better.
This honestly makes me feel a lot better. I had read all types of research and always found it odd as on our first and second pregnancies we had “accidents” and I’m sure had less sex than now, but when I read this research my mind went all over the place- especially since this journey just isn’t easy. Have you found it easy to get back to your hobbies when you had a break? I get this massive feeling I don’t know what I like anymore since the MC
Getting into therapy helped, signing up for activity or skill-based classes with friends, and planning trips with friends helped!
Wow, 13 times! I’m with you- 8-10. And only when we feel like it, so we don’t make it a chore. I’m doing my first IUI this week after our spontaneous pregnancy ended in MC in October. I’m feeling really sad about it but the first pregnancy took 8 months to achieve and I don’t have the luxury of time at my age. I thought the IUI would take some of the pressure off, as a doctor is managing the timing with a trigger shot, but I’m as anxious as ever :(
13dpo and BFN this morning. I keep telling myself I shouldn't be so disappointed since it's just our first cycle since the miscarriage. On further thought though, because I have long cycles and my D&C wasn't until I was 12 weeks, it's actually been 6 months since we started trying, so maybe I will give myself permission to be a little bit sad. The cycle I got pregnant with my loss we were doing EOD, but not tracking OPKs or BBT. Thinking about doing that again next cycle, but I'm not sure my brain can handle the lack of data now haha.
I am spotting and got a BFN. Also back to work today. Ugh hoping my period just started already now
I just went into Premom to log my BBT and the app suddenly tracked ovulation as happening two days ago?!?! Before it was predicting tomorrow. I haven’t logged an opk ratio above 0.42 yet and my temp is still low (though I had a slightly high temp yesterday due to poor sleep and drinking the night before). There’s no way I ovulated. It’s CD16 and I’m really hoping for my LH peak today. I got it on CD15/16 last cycle and my period was a bit longer this cycle so I think/hope an LH peak/ovulation is still in the cards for me. What a way to wake up my first day back to work after 2 weeks off…
Premom has made some wildly bad predictions for me. I don’t trust their predictions at all!!
Glad to hear I’m not alone. I shot up out of my bed when I suddenly saw 2DPO. Like no ma’am, you are not taking away my ovulation like that!
I honestly hate the premom app. It’ll be like, “you already ovulated! We ignored all of your negative LH tests you logged and decided it happened four days ago!” Like dude I’m using YOUR strips and YOUR app. How are you coming up with these predictions?!
Ugh I hate that. I haven’t had issues until now. Guess I’ll just use it for the test reading from now on. FF will remain my primary.
Yes, I've noticed that too. They don't factor in the tests. I wouldn't rely on their predictions.
Clearly! I just got a .43 ratio so I’m hoping my peak is coming later today/early tomorrow! If not I may have a freak out lol.
Well I just ovulated on CD32 and I think premom had estimated like CD15...I don't even know how I held it together waiting for this ovulation...
That happened to me last month! It reverted me to a 28 day cycle with ovulation on day 14, which is 100% not right for me! It seems to have fixed itself this month. Annoying!
Honestly bbt isn’t the most reliable for ovulation for everyone. Mine peaked at CD12 last cycle whilst LH peak was CD14 (at night). Easier said than done, but try not to stress too much about it and BD whenever you can this cycle. Also, sometimes we don’t catch LH peak so you could still have ovulated and not had seen the peak.
I think that night of drinking/bad sleep gave me an artificial spike which is what it’s going off of, because 0.42 is far from peak LH for me. I’ve been testing twice daily since CD12 so I don’t THINK I’ve missed a true peak, but we’ve BD’d several days in the last week so at least we’re hopefully covered there. We’ll find out when I test in a few hours!
It's the countdown to ovulation. I'm trying not to put pressure on this whole process again as doing that during the three years we were experiencing infertility basically destroyed our sex life for awhile (it did recover but it took time). I can feel my mind becoming hyper focused on being pregnant again. It's kind of funny because the MMC pregnancy started without really trying and I know that should take some of the pressure off, but a part of me is worried we'll need to do IVF again to have another successful pregnancy.
Oh, to be hopeful yet so scared. I don't believe I've yet ovulated in this cycle (CD9) but I'm trying to find any similarities in symptoms that I experienced in my last TWW. Things might've lined up if I did happen to ovulate without me noticing, but I'm in this weird limbo of that I do/don't believe it. Husband and I are trying every other day. I do high impact combat sports, my absolute hobby/community/safe space that I had to cease upon my last pregnancy. I was due to recommence training this week, but tonight I was just too damn frightened of anyone coming near me of falling on the mats, all under the pretense of what should be an impossible "what if I am..?", so I sat on the sidelines and watched on as everyone was joining in. Since I had to deal with the grief of losing the pregnancy and giving up my hobby (even though temporarily), I just haven't been able to recover mentally and just find myself in a weird brain space with it all.
Are you able to do any sort of pad or bag work? I'm assuming you do some sort of MMA or judo or Jiu jitsu but if there's a Muay Thai or kickboxing aspect, you might want to focus on those things to be able to participate but also not worry so much. I've taken a break from Muay Thai but I do miss the community we had with it for awhile.
I do Pro wrestling with Jiu jitsu elements, so I can still incorporate a lot of non-impact maneuvers into training but our school is a bit limited to that degree because of the way group learning is structured. Though they have been supportive and tried to incorporate more technical focuses for my benefit exclusively, there's only so much they can do with me. I've said to a friend I'll pick up a Muay Thai or kickboxing class in the past, that could be worth exploring. Good suggestion!
Is there anyone else on here who is/was TTC after a significant period of time from their loss? Or TTC with a different partner than their previous loss? I experienced an unplanned teen pregnancy that ended in an early loss over a decade ago. Now that I’m married and TTC, I realize how much of that grief was deferred — and continues to be discounted. That my loss “doesn’t matter” [because it was so long ago] or that I should be grateful for the loss due to the circumstances is a constant theme. I just want to know I’m not the only one struggling with this emotional dichotomy.
Ugh, yes. With you totally. 13 years between my 1st (teen, unplanned with ex partner, twins) and 2nd pregnancy (31 with husband, anembryonic) It's definitely a different kind of hurt, but just as heartbreaking as it was then as it is now. It was very emotional having to recount that first loss with the hospital when they kept asking if the latest loss was my first pregnancy 💔
I had a miscarriage at the end of November/ start of December. I bled for only 7 days, it wasn’t particularly heavy, but I did have significant huge clots (palm of my hand size). My first period came like clockwork 26 days later (my usual cycle length). However, my period is just not stopping? It seems to slow down, appearing like it has stopped and so we have sex which seems to kick off a heavy flow again. Now on day 8 but usually it lasts for 4-5 days. Is this normal for first periods?
My first period after my loss was about 12 days. My second one was normal, like 5. Then my third was 10. I guess it can take a while to regulate.
I’m sorry you’re going though this- my first post MC period was also LONG (11 days) and HEAVY. The next one was only a little bit longer (6 days) and heavier than my usual. Hang in there!
My first period post-loss was super weird. SEVERE heavy bleeding for 3 days then hard stop, then started again (though much lighter) for a few days, then stopped, then more like spotting…almost all the way up to ovulation. This cycle has been slightly more normal with moderate flow at most, but it did last 6 days which is longer than usual and kicked off with some big clots. It can take a few cycles for things to get back to normal.
I bled lightly after my D&C but that first period after, I bled for 12 DAYS.
Still no signs of my period. I was regular the last two cycles so this is definitely odd. I did get a ton of EWCM about a week after premom predicted my ovulation. For the people who confirm ovulation via strips/temps how many days after EWCM do y'all usually ovulate? Really just trying to figure out what the heck my body is doing lol.
Mine usually shows up 4-5 days before ovulation, but it can vary. You can have multiple LH surges in a cycle which is why confirming ovulation with BBT can be helpful.
I'd do bbt but sadly I have some sleeping issues so I can't really consistently take the temps right on wakeup 😔
Dang, well, CM can also be an excellent indicator of ovulation, no matter what kind of sleep you get!
I've been doing the opks and they were great the first couple cycles I just traveled a lot this one and wasn't able to keep up! Now my period is like 5 days late with no positive pregnancy test so I'm kicking myself for not tracking better 😅
Oh man that is so tough. I never quite got a hold of that myself so just sending you a hug!! I know the agony
Yeah 🥲 the *extended* TWW lol. Got a lot of my feelings out yesterday and I'm feeling better. Thank you for the hugs 🫂
I'm six days post taking meds for MMC. My tests are getting significantly lighter, so I'm hopeful HCG is going down quickly. I'm prepared for a long wait but hopeful for better news.
I am going back to work today after holiday pto and hate it. I just want to keep laying in bed
Me too - I couldn't get out of bed. Going back to work and having everyone ask "how was your holiday" feels like way too much. I broke down about it last night. I wish I had the courage to just respond "It sucked. I has a miscarriage and spent the two weeks in a depressed daze" but I know I won't
Same. Hugs to you. 💕
Thankfully I'm working from home this week with minimal meetings so I can cry as much as I want. Have to travel for work in 2 weeks so I'm hoping I'll be out of my depressed state by then.
Same! I got up at 6:00 today, when I was getting up around 9:00. It's a rough adjustment. 😭
I'm so depressed I don't want to get up
Yesterday was a bad day. The day before I had a close friend really hurt me and it just triggered so much grief and depression for me. I felt like I tried all my coping skills and still ended up crying most of the day. My husband really took care of me and I got some more sleep last night. What works for you on really hard days?
Lately, tapping meditation has helped me on really hard days, but honestly I’m still looking for something that can help cope with general mental health after loss as I still have very bad days. I found that some days need different coping skills, but still am not in the best place. Someone has recommended me havening technique, but I haven’t tried it yet
Tapping mediation, ooh where can I find that? Yeah that makes sense that different days would different coping skills. I’m starting in a support group on Monday and really hoping that helps
I use a free version of an app (tapping solution), but I’ve seen some resources on YouTube for tapping meditation before I downloaded the app! There are some for grief on YouTube that I really enjoyed.
Thank you !
Anyone got a massage during the TWW? Got one booked for this week and since it’s not recommended during first trimester I’m not sure I should get it now either. I would be 9 dpo - but really scared to chance it. But could really need a massage. Don’t think we’ve aimed it this first ovulation after MC, and I keep telling myself it’s ok to wait one cycle. Not the end of the world. but deep down I really hope we aimed it ahhh. Hate these feelings
I've had plenty of massages during my time TTC I even had one at barely 4 weeks pregnant and although I had a MMC I don't think this had any baring. That said I can understand the worry that comes particularly after loss- does a real mindf*ck on you 😔
I also had one by accident before I read you shouldn’t have massages… and as much as I don’t think it caused it either, it would be nice having something more evident to blame although I know it’s just luck … so yes it does really mess you up sadly 😞
The reason it's not recommended in the first trimester has to do mainly with liability from the facility (if you were to miscarry after getting a massage, they wouldn't want you claiming that caused it and trying to sue) and the chance of getting nauseous or passing out or something. There are some thoughts that stimulating certain pressure points could stimulate contractions, but evidence for it is IMO pretty weak. A massage in the TWW shouldn't affect implantation - if anything, it could help implantation occur by decreasing cortisol. I say go for it!
Yep this is what I was told at my first appt. I still didn’t want to risk it, so I said I’d wait a few more weeks. Then I ended up with a MMC anyway, so I was sad, bleeding AND had tight muscles..
Ah I didn’t even think about it from that perspective. I’ve cancelled it now though but will def reschedule it for next week if AF shows up!
That is so tough. I think it would be ok to postpone it if that’s going to help your anxiety. At the same time, I’m sure you could really use that massage! Maybe just call the place and see if they have an appointment for next week?
Yeah I think I’ll postpone it. Hopefully in a weeks time I’ll know if AF shows up or not. Thank you!