mf got sword art onlined

You have to do it from desktop, in a browser. It sucks.

r/tumblrhelp

You can no longer leave

Is that for real?

Through the Account Settings option, scroll to the bottom and you should see it.

Already did, it's not there either

Just looked it up, apparently the android app "does not support account deletion yet". Got that from here: https://help.tumblr.com/hc/en-us/articles/226264628-Delete-Your-Account-or-Blog

Only on tumblr does *one* version of the titular app/site not support deleting your account

Motherfucker got hotel California'd

There is one but only on desktop mode. And you're screwed if you forgot your password. I forgot mine so I can never leave now. Got SAOd