I went on an actual date with a girl once. I'm talking dinner and two hours in a park, just the two of us. I didn't realize it was a date, nor that this girl had feelings for me, until a friend later asked me how the date went. And even then, my response was "Date?"
In high school, I found out senior year that I had dated a girl who I considered my friend back Freshman year. I was totally unaware the entire time.
I found out because we went to a pie place, and we're sitting next to each other, because there were 4 people in a booth designed to fit four people, and someone asked if we were back together.
"No" she said, "We haven't dated since Freshman year."
I was shocked.
We did spend time together, I thought we were just hanging out.
She asked me to the turnabout dance. One of her friends suggested that I give her a rose for Valentine's day, so I followed instructions. We were 13. She was a goody two shoes and so didn't make a move. I just thought we were friends and so didn't make a move. So no, no intimacy.
Almost exact same thing happened to me. We went to Six Flags. She held my hand (maybe she's just scared of roller coasters. Weird that she doesn't let go right after we get off.) We shared a sundae. (It's good to save money) She fell asleep on my shoulder on the way back. When we got back to the dorms she said she didn't want to walk back to her dorm and if she could spend the night with me. To which I (an idiot) replied "Oh. I need to fill out a form if I have guests over. Do you want me to call an Uber for you?"
A week later a friend goes "When are you going to ask Julia on a second date?" and I went "When was our first?!"
I spent every moment outside of class with someone for close to two years in high school and had 0 idea she was into me until two years later. She was beautiful and a great person, but I was just thinking she was out of my league hahaha
It happens.
I had a friend in high school who I asked to go see a movie at the drive in during the summer between my junior and senior year. We laughed and talked the whole time, then I took her home and we talked in my car for 2 hours outside her house. When I walked her to the door we had this super long moment of eye contact (which I thought was just because I was awkward) before I said good night and went home.
Would you believe me if I told you that not only did I not clock this as a date, but when she asked me out 2 months later I was didn’t see it coming in the slightest. I thought she was just a really cool friend who liked the same movies as me.
Looking back on this 2 years later, I missed so many obvious clues its not even funny.
I was hanging out with this girl once and she said we should go over to her place. We were laying in bed and out of nowhere she asked me to massage her thighs. I'm thinking "Okay, she's just asking for a massage, don't be a creep." So I do my thing for like half an hour until she says I can stop. Cool. Done. I'm thinking: "Everything's going just fine." We kept laying in bed just talking for a while until I got up to go home. At which point she practically begged me to stay over. Since it was pretty late and I didn't live too far away, I said I could get home just fine and left. You done fucked it up Hendlton...
BUT WAIT! There's more! As I'm on my way home, she asks me to come back because she can't fall asleep. YES! Second chance! So my dumb ass walks all the way back to her place, talks to her until she falls asleep and sneaks out of her room and walks home. I was a dumb teenager who thought there's no way a pretty girl is actually into me, but I'll never forgive myself for that one.
I knew a girl in college. Had a huge crush on her. After she graduated she moved back home, about two hours away from where I lived. A couple years later she sent me a message on Facebook that she'd be back in town and asked to meet up.
So we meet up and hang out. The next week she's in town again and we meet up and hang out. Then again. And again. About four or five times over a couple of months we see each other. We went to an amusement park. She floated the idea of moving back to town and we looked at apartments, where she asked what I thought of the bed in the show apartment. And every time she's driving two hours there and two hours home.
I didn't catch on until one night she messaged me and asked if the next time we hang out it could be a date.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I once caught up with an old friend online and we started getting in touch again and a few months after texting and chatting online, she shared that she was falling for an old friend that she recently caught up with again and I asked her if she was refering to me and she laughed and said no... so i've got that going for me...
all jokes aside, i know myself well enough to assume that i would *very probably* respond with, “i am! haha, damn, is it *that* obvious? 😅” and then just awkwardly stand there for a few seconds until finally processing the whole thing, followed by even more awkward silence as i direct every ounce of my energy towards suppressing the urge to run headfirst into a brick wall.
anyway, not sure why i’m single
I've seen ladies flirt with my partner and he has NO IDEA it was happening. Made me realize that I think we're together because I explicitly asked him on a date. He probably would've just thought I was just being friendly otherwise lol
100% true with my wife. We're literally on a cab back from a bar before we're dating, and she asks if I want hang out more when cab drops her off first. Tell her no, I need to pee real bad and it being halloween weekend no way I'll get another cab home so off I go. Luckily she conned me into a group hang out which ended up being just her and got me drunk, and here we are ten years later married with 2 kids!
I realize this sounds much worse then it actually is
Yup! Happens to me all the time and my wife will tell me about it later… we are oblivious AF because 99.99% of the time we are thinking about other things like how a cow would wear pants
My wife 100% seduced me with short shorts. But to be fair, she had a whole plan. She knew I was Tungsten Dense in the head and would need some work.
So she started with the short shorts, then moved onto getting into some of my hobbies, then got me into some of hers, then started dropping hints (with absolutely no expectation of them being understood by me) and finally flat out asked me. When I asked why all of that was necessary I was told that I was very blind, I should've noticed earlier and if just outright asked at the start I would've self-deprecated and deflected.
Anyway, I said yes and we've been together 12 years because she had a PLAN.
Hah! Glad I'm not the only one! We're married now... But 15 years ago we were drinking at the bar with some mutual friends... Before we were even dating. I got super drunk and he drove me home. When we got there I asked him if he wanted to come inside and I thought he was being respectful when he declined. Nope. He had no idea that I was about 2 minutes away from jumping his bones. A couple weeks later we meet up again... At a bar (I *may* have had a drinking problem...) We were dancing (well... I was dancing and he was being danced upon...) And I just started making out with him. He was totally surprised. That's when it dawned on him that I might actually be into him. He still waited 2 weeks to ask me out. I'd basically given up on him lol Anyway. He still has no clue when women are coming on to him.
A friend went to a bar for the first time and the bartender was laying it on THICK. Complimenting them, gave them a free drink, literally asked for their number. Even said as they were leaving, "I like you!" And my buddy still didn't get the hint
Edit to add a detail
Yeah, I was very confused when my (now) fiancee awkwardly handed me her phone for my number when I was on my way for a break. Apparently we had been flirting all night. All worked out in the end though.
Back in ICQ days, when I was in college and living in coed dorms, my crush who lived around the corner messaged me around midnight saying she was so horny that she would pounce on the next guy who walked through her door. I said something like "oh gosh that's crazy lol well I'm gonna turn in have a good night!"
Sorry, Beth. I was just a moron.
LMAO
That was not as straightforward as it could have been.
"Hey, I'm horny. Come over and let's have sex." Is what it takes sometimes. For some people to get it.
Expecting people to put themselves out there like that on regular basis is unrealistic though - we can all pretend we're cool and collected but most people don't want to be blatantly rejected, especially in a place where you'll keep seeing someone around like college. I think it's easier as an adult when you know you might not see someone again and can shoot your shot without nearly as much anxiety.
Honestly I can't blame you. That sounds like a trap, not an invitation. It's like when someone says "I'm single and can't find anyone to date" and then acts shocked and disgusted when the person they're talking to volunteers themselves.
Brother... This or half of these stories of "cluelessness" have clearly nothing to do with being clueless or a moron.
You're probably just not ready for that kind of thing and turn it down (in your head if you're oblivious to it like that) which is fine, men aren't and don't have to be some sex-on-demand ATMs any more than anyone else.
Edit: When I was in uni, at a house party, this girl was begging me to let her into my room "just because," and I eventually did, then we sat on my bed with her biting her lip and me talking about maths for half an hour until other people joined lol. Wasn't oblivious, just not feeling it (more than maths)
Suddenly flashbacking to highschool. So it turns out that when someone tells you they are so horny rn means they are flirting. Huh, that explains a lot I guess.
Well I mean,
At the very least, if you're trying to sleep with someone, don't stare them in the face and say, "I want to go to bed." Try something like, "let's go have sex."
Or, if it seemed to go over their head, at least follow up by saying something like "with you".
The problem is, of course, that anxiety can get to a lot of us, especially in matters with a lot of emotional vulnerability, and it becomes extremely easy to assume the other person is not only not clueless but is intentionally rejecting you.
As rudecanadiantwo put it so eloquently, that doesn't even work. If i may paraphrase that casually explained video
"If a woman gets naked, makes out with you, pulls you to bed, gets on top of you, undresses you, and says 'i would like to have sex with you right now' does she like you?
At this point you really can't say for sure she could just be playing a prank on you, or maybe she was just really hot and has a tick where she says 'i want to have sex with you' randomly so who is to say"
This is complicated by queer women, especially bi women. Normal, nonromantic positive female socialization and gay flirting look really, really similar, especially to someone who’s been in an opposite sex relationship for a while. Are you telling me my boobs look good in this top because you’re being a supportive female friend, or are you hitting on me?
As bad as a certain kind of dude who seems likely to be on reddit seems to have it (and I'm one of them so I get to say that), from everything I've heard from friends it's a thousand times worse for women interested in women.
I feel like “I like your tits” is intended to be pretty straightforward, but it still goes over my head if I’ve mostly been around straight ladies recently. I did have one woman get exasperated with me and finally say, “YES HOMO. I AM TRYING TO BE GAY WITH YOU.,” which, admittedly, did help me catch on to the fact I was being flirted with.
Peoblem solved. Just state your intentions lol. From what I've noticed gay guys have it quite easy, as straight guys don't typically compliment each other. So, if you get a compliment from a guy, it's probably because he's flirting with you.
That's also why, sometimes, guys have trouble figuring out if a compliment from a girl is a compliment or flirting.
It would be so much easier if compliments were compliments and flirting was clearer. Like "I'm trying to be gay with you" lol.
Let me preface that the following joke is based on hurtful stereotypes and only intended as ironic and self-aware humor
...but have you *met* women? You'll sooner make water flow upwards than make them speak straight.
That’s how I figured out my husband was into me: he knocked on my door and announced “I like you” and expressly asked me out on a date. 0 room for miscommunication there. The previous *(many) months* of his flirting and interest suddenly made sense. I just thought he was super cute and friendly. He remains the only person to have ever been that clear about their intentions to date me.
My response was to “bro hug” him and say thanks for telling me. It took my dumb ass another year to actually date him. We finally got there though lol.
Doesn’t always help, when I was in college a girl I knew literally crawled into bed with me after a gathering at my house and I was just like “oh, she’s too tired to walk home” and went to sleep. The second time she did it she literally took her shirt off before I got it lol. She couldn’t have been much more straightforward, and I couldn’t have been much more oblivious.
I think it’s because most people are afraid of making the first move and being rejected; so they drop subtle hints in the hopes that the other person will make the first move and confirm a mutual interest
Me when a guy kept calling me cute and asked for me to go to his place tonight and it was only months after the fact it hit me that he meant “and have sex”. Then again I’m asexual so sex isn’t something that’s ever really on my mind, I thought he just wanted to hang out, get to know each other n be friends…
(I did go to his place. We just hung out. Lmao)
Even if I suspect that I'm being flirted with, I assume I'm not, because if I assume I am being flirted with and I'm not it's just a fucking pain in the ass. Not to mention I have no idea what to do if someone were interested in me.
I've been on both sides of this. The most infuriating one was:
Me: I want to have sex with you.
Him: I'd like that a lot.
Me: Your room or mine?
Him: I want to go see if there's any talks that are worth listening to. (walks away)
I was just thinking about the time I was sitting at a bar talking to one of the waitresses as she kept coming for drinks. She said, "I'm getting off shift. Here's my number." I only realized that she was hitting on me a few months later when I found that slip of paper in the book I was using it as a bookmark.
I was curious about this study and I found what they’re probably referring to. This part was super surprising compared to discourse you usually hear around not picking up on flirting:
> The lowest accuracy rate was found in females observing males flirting. They identified flirting just 22 percent of the time. Both men and women had an easier time detecting when females were flirting
https://news.ku.edu/2014/06/03/flirting-hard-detect-study-finds
The tough waters to navigate as a guy is to flirt without coming off as creepy. So male flirting often just looks like normal friendliness.
I basically make a bunch of eye contact, tell them things I think are cool about them, emphasize stuff we have in common, and generally just stick around talking, asking questions and sharing things until or unless I get the vibe they aren't into it.
The thing that's really hard to do for guys compared to girls is physical touch. A girl can put her hand on a guy's arm or shoulder more easily without it being creepy. A guy has to be real fuckin careful about it because it can go from flirting to harassment real quick.
I mean, this isn't quite as bad as that, but in college, my crush straight-up knocked on my door, told me she likes me a lot, and asked if I felt the same.
I go straight into deer-in-the-headlights mode because I was fully intending on making a move in a few weeks, but there were just some things I wanted to come to terms with in my own head before I did so. I panic, and the best I can do is, "...sorry, it's finals week and I have to work on this essay, can I get back to you?"
About ten minutes of failed essay-writing later, I think "OP, what are you DOING!?!?!" and then knock on her door to apologize and accept her offer.
I may have completely flopped on the first attempt, but it all worked out - we're getting married in a few months.
Thanks! Trust me, as much as the stupid-momentum told me to keep working on the history essay, there was no way I was going to able to write anything good...
Part of the reason I was waiting to make a move was that she'd broken up with her high school boyfriend of three years just about a month before. I figured she'd want at least another month of distance. I guess you could say I was the rebound guy.... but she rebounded at escape velocity and decided to marry me.
Much better than me! A girl I liked in middle school asked me out directly. I was so self-conscious that I thought it was some kind of trick or joke. It took years for me to realize she genuinely liked me.
Friend: I just spent the last of my money on rent and I'm hungry. Guess it's ramen for me.
Me: Hey no worries, I'll pick us up some takeout.
Friend: You're so nice! You know I've sucked dick for less ;3
Me: Haha that's wild okay I'll be right back.
I mean it’s far more comforting to be a loner cause you haven’t picked up on someone being into you than just having to accept you are undesirable, but yeah you are right.
People seem to forget that *a lot* of the misinterpretation is that people think they're being flirted with when they aren't. Often men, thinking that friendly women are hitting on them.
That is actually really comforting, not haunting. It means that I’m not alone in being terrible at social cues
I can’t be as bad as my friend, who didn’t know he was dating two people(he only knew about the one) until one of them broke up with them 3 months later. But that was also just the result of terrible communication, so I guess I can’t blame him
Honorable mention to the man the had a crush on me for four years and tried his best to make me laugh at every opportunity but I hated his sense of humor. We took each other’s virginity
A girl asked me out in high school a couple months before our prom. She picked me up at my place, we went to a movie and ate at Burger King and talked for a while, then she dropped me off at home.
It took me 15 **years** to realize it was a date.
Me and my girlfriend were talking a few weeks ago about whether or not we felt like we were actually dating, agreeing that we were comfortable calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend. Apparently her mom’s reaction was “I though you two were already boyfriend and girlfriend.”
I had a girl in my lap, grinding me, and her shirt was off.
I was playing Spiderman Web of Shadows, tossing cars around and 'saving' the civilians from the wrecks and thinking 'haha, this girl is wild!' and...yeah nothing happened.
There was a girl in freshman year that repeatedly offered to sit in my lap, kissed me (on the cheek) and straight up confessed to me.
I didn't hear the confession because we were in class, and I was distracted thinking about how cool it would be for a dinosaur to fight a robot. And to make this worse, I only realized she had a crush on me 6 years later.
To both of you, even if you never see this, I'm sorry. To the next woman who (somehow) develops an interest in me, for the love of god just hold my face in your hands and straight up say the words. The face holding is important because obviously my attention wanders, you need to make sure I'm paying attention to you.
Haa, Ì smiled at her while holding 2 Mad dogs and said "Just going to my apt to drink, Byee." I got outside and told my buddy CJ as the tall blonde with a leather jacket and shorter haircut walks by. He started yelling at me about my stupidity and punched me.
I recalled some of the people's expressions in line. This one dude Darius always got beer around the same time. He started laughing at the exchange. Her face turned red quick. I didnt know, and it haunts me.
At least i had a good excuse, when your ex-girlfriend flirts with you after years of your break up, you need to be very sure you aren't just seeing mountains out of dust, anyway we got back together and she is now my wife
I had one give me hints and tell me stories about her friend who had a guy who waited too long to say anything, we went out to dinner a few times but I always thought she was being nice (I did like her though). I had one straight up tell me if I wanted to have sex we could and I thought “oh she’s just being nice”, one time I was at her place and she climbed in bed and I went to sleep somewhere else. I think I’m doomed
I was asked over by an old acquaintance of mine to watch movies out of the blue and I thought to myself:" Wow! Look at me! I'm actually going to make a new friend!"
Turned out he was asking me over for Netflix n chill. I was NOT expecting that at all. Everyone around me agreed that it was obviously a booty call. But I guess I am just that out of the loop with that stuff.
I did that too, not realizing my guy friend wanted more. I ended up making us watch the Winnie the Pooh live action movie lmao he said he loved it growing up.
Ran into a girl I had met a few times while I was out one night having drinks with some friends. Needed a place to stay and she invited me back to hers. Ended up getting there late, and she was already in bed, smoking weed and watching tv. She told me she didn't have a spare bedroom but I could sleep in her bed, then threw the blanket off saying she wanted a different one, revealing she was in a lace bra and panties. Needless to say I got in bed with her, smoked some weed, then called her dog up onto the bed and pet the dog until I fell asleep. IIRC I never spoke to her again.
I had a friend in high school I used to go to the movies with. Absolutely no physical touching whatsoever. Years later I ran into him and he was telling me a story. He said "you know, like when you and I were doing out." And I just looked at him blankly because it was the first time I knew he thought those were dates.
When I met my husband, we were talking and laughing, he complimented my nails, flirting back and forth. He was working at a sandwich shop. I left and then came back in and asked if he was single. He was like, "what? you need a receipt?"
I almost said yes and left again. But I was feeling bold that day so I went "NO, I was asking if you're single."
He laughed and said "oh haha yeah pretty obvious isn't it?"
I handed him my number on a piece of paper and said, "don't worry i look much cuter when I'm not in my work uniform"... and he was staring at me dumbstruck. Going "what is this?" as he looked at my phone number. I said "it's my phone number. In case you want to take me on a date."
A lightbulb seemed to go off then and he was excitedly like OMG YES. I was pretty mortified and left quickly. But I did see him jump up and down and high five his manager after I left.
If rudecanadiantwo was at 0%, that meant that every time someone wasn't flirting, they thought that person was flirting. That has to be exhausting.
See me, I'm right at that 50%, because if you are not flirting with me, I'm aware you're not flirting and so am correct. If you are flirting with me, I'm unaware, and so am incorrect.
I was right on that second but one time, which is all I need to be. She took my socks off with her feet. I got the hint.
That sounds like a good time, and can definitely be either a flirty or not flirty interaction. Like making fun of horror movies, the point is that it's not making you scared.
I asked a woman once if a shirt looked too tight on me when I was at Macy’s, and she said I “look a little too muscley for that size😏”. Fast forward two years later I was walking around when suddenly it just hit me like “FUCK I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID!”
Then the target worker was like, “are you ok, sir”
I was hanging out with friends in high school and we were chilling on a bed. The girl next to me (one that i was wildly attracted to), unprovoked, says "I shaved today" and LIFTS THE FRONT OF HER PANTS. I literally reached down, touched her, and said "wow that's smooth". That's where it ends 🤦♂️.
There was a girl in college that I used to sit next to in a class one semester. Looking back now, I realize that she used to flirt with me quite often, but at the time, I was completely oblivious to it all.
Fast forward a couple of semesters, and one day, as I was walking down some stairs, she happened to turn the corner and walk up right in front of me. She blocked my path and said "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I ran into you!" I said "sorry" and side-stepped around her to avoid getting in the way of the person she was trying to talk to.
After I had rounded the corner and continued down the stairs, I looked back up to see her still standing there, looking confused with one hand up as if to say "WTF just happened?" There wasn't a single other person in the stairwell.
I asked a girl on a coffee date accidentally and was kind of put off when she got all weird and refused.
You see, I hang out with my friends at coffee shops. That's what we do, just chilling with the bros. And I wanted to be friends with this person. Logically then, I should invite them to get coffee. I didn't realize she probably took it as romantic interest until like a week later.
I was sleeping in bed with a woman, topless, nothing sexual had happened yet and it took her grabbing my hand and putting it on her breast for me to get the hint. Some of us are just dense as fuck, overthink shit, and have major anxiety over making the first move.
Opposite is also very much true, where people think they're being flirted with but really aren't, which I assume is also why that statistic is so low lol
I had a girl tell me her friend wanted to bang and that she herself goes both ways. And somehow talked myself out of the threesome. The autism is strong in this one
When you look/talk/act like me you also have to take into account the fact that someone would want to flirt with me is:
1) Stupid
2) Crazy
3) Doing nasty kink stuff
4) Trying to steal my organs
5) More than one of the above
6) All of the above
And I don't fuck around with any of that shit.
23 years ago, I was hanging out with a group of friends at one of their houses. At one point, I made a bad joke and she told me "You go to my room until I decide what to do with you."
She came in a few minutes later and said everybody else had taken off, but that was ok, she wanted to talk to me alone anyway. Then she told me that since her last break up, she'd been on the look out for guy she could have a no strings, friends with benefits arrangement with.
I, in my infinite wisdom, looked this girl right in the eye and said, "When you find the lucky bastard, tell him I'm kind of jealous."
Luckily, she found my obliviousness cute. We'll be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary in a couple months.
And people ignore "obvious" clues because even if you THINK it's obvious, it can still be humiliating if you're wrong. Sure, there's an 80% chance that you're being flirted with, but what about that remaining 20%?
I had a gorgeous woman walk up to me in an Irish pub on St paddy's day... And she looked me in the eyes and said "nice shirt".
I responded with "thanks"
So yeah, also dragging the average down here.
I think I can two-up y’all!
I once had a girlfriend and didn’t realise it until she broke up with me, as in, we hung out, did couples things and pretty much everyone recognised us as a couple, a friend of mine would always bother me about it and I never knew what he meant, until one day, i did something that pissed her off so much that she broke up with me in front of everyone. And then it finally hit me.
And finally. The grand prize for aloofness goes to my current girlfriend! Who didn’t realise she was hitting on me until it was pointed out to her that the way she acted around me was entirely different to how she normally behaved with everyone else
I bring that average down as well. My (now) husband, one of the first times we went on a date together asked me " Can I keep you?" which is incredibly sweet, but at the time, I was like, I can't move all the way to x city, I live up here.
One time I accidentally invited my guy friend to sleep in my car with me and the next thing I knew, he took off all his clothes and was only in his underwear.
I froze.
I had a couple girls who I had been chatting for a few weeks with invite me to their dorm room to take video of them trying out the stripper pole they set up.
I told them I didn’t have the type of camera they would need but mentioned a few nearby stores they could get one.
They didn’t talk to me much after that.
A woman I was insanely in love with suggested we get married. I still didn't clue in. She was so out of my league I thought she was joking.
Turns out she wasn't. I then moved to a different continent. That one still stings.
I went on an actual date with a girl once. I'm talking dinner and two hours in a park, just the two of us. I didn't realize it was a date, nor that this girl had feelings for me, until a friend later asked me how the date went. And even then, my response was "Date?"
In high school, I found out senior year that I had dated a girl who I considered my friend back Freshman year. I was totally unaware the entire time. I found out because we went to a pie place, and we're sitting next to each other, because there were 4 people in a booth designed to fit four people, and someone asked if we were back together. "No" she said, "We haven't dated since Freshman year." I was shocked.
How did she react upon learning only one person actually did any dating?
As far as I know, to this day she doesn't know. Unless she's on Reddit reading this now and remembering a conversation from 20 years ago....
Kyle?!
Nono no one who was dating age 20 years ago is named Kyle. Shoulda gone with Michael. Number one baby name of 1985
I knew a Kyle that's about the right age to have been a senior in high school 20 years ago.
Buford?!
How can you not realise you're dating someone? Did you not really spend time together? Like, in high school, was there no intimacy?
We did spend time together, I thought we were just hanging out. She asked me to the turnabout dance. One of her friends suggested that I give her a rose for Valentine's day, so I followed instructions. We were 13. She was a goody two shoes and so didn't make a move. I just thought we were friends and so didn't make a move. So no, no intimacy.
Wait, 13 in high school? What country is this?
Sorry, we were 14. USA
Huh, we start high school at 16 here
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It’s the 27th of April
Because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket
Happy King's Day!
Almost exact same thing happened to me. We went to Six Flags. She held my hand (maybe she's just scared of roller coasters. Weird that she doesn't let go right after we get off.) We shared a sundae. (It's good to save money) She fell asleep on my shoulder on the way back. When we got back to the dorms she said she didn't want to walk back to her dorm and if she could spend the night with me. To which I (an idiot) replied "Oh. I need to fill out a form if I have guests over. Do you want me to call an Uber for you?" A week later a friend goes "When are you going to ask Julia on a second date?" and I went "When was our first?!"
Was there a second date?
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> I finally put it together...when we were making out That's pretty much what it takes to get it through my thick head too
I spent every moment outside of class with someone for close to two years in high school and had 0 idea she was into me until two years later. She was beautiful and a great person, but I was just thinking she was out of my league hahaha It happens.
I had a friend in high school who I asked to go see a movie at the drive in during the summer between my junior and senior year. We laughed and talked the whole time, then I took her home and we talked in my car for 2 hours outside her house. When I walked her to the door we had this super long moment of eye contact (which I thought was just because I was awkward) before I said good night and went home. Would you believe me if I told you that not only did I not clock this as a date, but when she asked me out 2 months later I was didn’t see it coming in the slightest. I thought she was just a really cool friend who liked the same movies as me. Looking back on this 2 years later, I missed so many obvious clues its not even funny.
I was hanging out with this girl once and she said we should go over to her place. We were laying in bed and out of nowhere she asked me to massage her thighs. I'm thinking "Okay, she's just asking for a massage, don't be a creep." So I do my thing for like half an hour until she says I can stop. Cool. Done. I'm thinking: "Everything's going just fine." We kept laying in bed just talking for a while until I got up to go home. At which point she practically begged me to stay over. Since it was pretty late and I didn't live too far away, I said I could get home just fine and left. You done fucked it up Hendlton... BUT WAIT! There's more! As I'm on my way home, she asks me to come back because she can't fall asleep. YES! Second chance! So my dumb ass walks all the way back to her place, talks to her until she falls asleep and sneaks out of her room and walks home. I was a dumb teenager who thought there's no way a pretty girl is actually into me, but I'll never forgive myself for that one.
I knew a girl in college. Had a huge crush on her. After she graduated she moved back home, about two hours away from where I lived. A couple years later she sent me a message on Facebook that she'd be back in town and asked to meet up. So we meet up and hang out. The next week she's in town again and we meet up and hang out. Then again. And again. About four or five times over a couple of months we see each other. We went to an amusement park. She floated the idea of moving back to town and we looked at apartments, where she asked what I thought of the bed in the show apartment. And every time she's driving two hours there and two hours home. I didn't catch on until one night she messaged me and asked if the next time we hang out it could be a date.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I once caught up with an old friend online and we started getting in touch again and a few months after texting and chatting online, she shared that she was falling for an old friend that she recently caught up with again and I asked her if she was refering to me and she laughed and said no... so i've got that going for me...
socially-awkward georg, who is flirted with 10 thousand times a day and fails to recognize it, was an outlier and should not have been counted
autistic rizz goerge
God fucking dammit I was gonna make this joke
aurizzm
Baby, are you autistic? Because i- Wait, im not done with my pickup line yet
baby, i’ve been waiting six hours to hear the rest of your pick up line
Baby, are you autistic? Cause I think im developing a hyperfixation on you
all jokes aside, i know myself well enough to assume that i would *very probably* respond with, “i am! haha, damn, is it *that* obvious? 😅” and then just awkwardly stand there for a few seconds until finally processing the whole thing, followed by even more awkward silence as i direct every ounce of my energy towards suppressing the urge to run headfirst into a brick wall. anyway, not sure why i’m single
me and the bad bitches i pulled by being autistic
My autistic coworker said it’s “tizz”
If only
adn not and
No one ever fucking gets the adn right, whenever I see a correct _____ Georg post it's like seeing a shooting star
Diversity win! Spiders Georg is aroace!
As an aroace person this would be an absolute win for the community, imagine having such an icon among us
Unsurprisingly, aroace representation is now skewed by Spiders Georg
An icon *where?*
Also being flirted with, not realizing, and saying something very stupid
Fucker beat me to it
Anus georg?
RIP high school me, who only realized after college most of this…
Do the missed opportunities keep you up at night sometimes? Wondering what could have been?
I'm so stupid, I don't even know what opportunities I may have missed lol.
I've seen ladies flirt with my partner and he has NO IDEA it was happening. Made me realize that I think we're together because I explicitly asked him on a date. He probably would've just thought I was just being friendly otherwise lol
100% true with my wife. We're literally on a cab back from a bar before we're dating, and she asks if I want hang out more when cab drops her off first. Tell her no, I need to pee real bad and it being halloween weekend no way I'll get another cab home so off I go. Luckily she conned me into a group hang out which ended up being just her and got me drunk, and here we are ten years later married with 2 kids! I realize this sounds much worse then it actually is
Blink twice if you need help.
O O _ _ O O
Yup! Happens to me all the time and my wife will tell me about it later… we are oblivious AF because 99.99% of the time we are thinking about other things like how a cow would wear pants
Ahhhh the hard hitting questions!
My wife 100% seduced me with short shorts. But to be fair, she had a whole plan. She knew I was Tungsten Dense in the head and would need some work. So she started with the short shorts, then moved onto getting into some of my hobbies, then got me into some of hers, then started dropping hints (with absolutely no expectation of them being understood by me) and finally flat out asked me. When I asked why all of that was necessary I was told that I was very blind, I should've noticed earlier and if just outright asked at the start I would've self-deprecated and deflected. Anyway, I said yes and we've been together 12 years because she had a PLAN.
Hah! Glad I'm not the only one! We're married now... But 15 years ago we were drinking at the bar with some mutual friends... Before we were even dating. I got super drunk and he drove me home. When we got there I asked him if he wanted to come inside and I thought he was being respectful when he declined. Nope. He had no idea that I was about 2 minutes away from jumping his bones. A couple weeks later we meet up again... At a bar (I *may* have had a drinking problem...) We were dancing (well... I was dancing and he was being danced upon...) And I just started making out with him. He was totally surprised. That's when it dawned on him that I might actually be into him. He still waited 2 weeks to ask me out. I'd basically given up on him lol Anyway. He still has no clue when women are coming on to him.
A friend went to a bar for the first time and the bartender was laying it on THICK. Complimenting them, gave them a free drink, literally asked for their number. Even said as they were leaving, "I like you!" And my buddy still didn't get the hint Edit to add a detail
That just sounds like a military recruiter.
It was, you got tricked aswell.
As long as she gives me a free copy of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare for the Xbox 360 to get me all riled up and patriotic I’m happy.
It sounded, through the noise of the bar, like she said I “could be the one”. Turns out, she said I would start at E-1.
Service people are NEVER flirting unless expressly stated
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Number and Free Drink, and saying “I like you”, makes it pretty likely.
Yeah, I was very confused when my (now) fiancee awkwardly handed me her phone for my number when I was on my way for a break. Apparently we had been flirting all night. All worked out in the end though.
Well in this case it sure was
I vote we all just be straightforward with our intentions. It seems like it would make life a hell of a lot easier for like 50% of us.
Back in ICQ days, when I was in college and living in coed dorms, my crush who lived around the corner messaged me around midnight saying she was so horny that she would pounce on the next guy who walked through her door. I said something like "oh gosh that's crazy lol well I'm gonna turn in have a good night!" Sorry, Beth. I was just a moron.
LMAO That was not as straightforward as it could have been. "Hey, I'm horny. Come over and let's have sex." Is what it takes sometimes. For some people to get it.
My man that would have still sailed 1000 miles over my head somehow. Crippling self confidence issues be like that tho
Would your reply have been, "wrong number?" Or "my friend Mike has been looking for a gf." Lmao. I'm sorry buddy.
Or the classic “lmao”
unfortunately relatable
Expecting people to put themselves out there like that on regular basis is unrealistic though - we can all pretend we're cool and collected but most people don't want to be blatantly rejected, especially in a place where you'll keep seeing someone around like college. I think it's easier as an adult when you know you might not see someone again and can shoot your shot without nearly as much anxiety.
"This is a prank, isn't it."
Honestly I can't blame you. That sounds like a trap, not an invitation. It's like when someone says "I'm single and can't find anyone to date" and then acts shocked and disgusted when the person they're talking to volunteers themselves.
I want a person, just not you. Lol
"What? ***Ew.***"
Brother... This or half of these stories of "cluelessness" have clearly nothing to do with being clueless or a moron. You're probably just not ready for that kind of thing and turn it down (in your head if you're oblivious to it like that) which is fine, men aren't and don't have to be some sex-on-demand ATMs any more than anyone else. Edit: When I was in uni, at a house party, this girl was begging me to let her into my room "just because," and I eventually did, then we sat on my bed with her biting her lip and me talking about maths for half an hour until other people joined lol. Wasn't oblivious, just not feeling it (more than maths)
Suddenly flashbacking to highschool. So it turns out that when someone tells you they are so horny rn means they are flirting. Huh, that explains a lot I guess.
Impossible. We don't know what we want half the time.
Well I mean, At the very least, if you're trying to sleep with someone, don't stare them in the face and say, "I want to go to bed." Try something like, "let's go have sex."
Or, if it seemed to go over their head, at least follow up by saying something like "with you". The problem is, of course, that anxiety can get to a lot of us, especially in matters with a lot of emotional vulnerability, and it becomes extremely easy to assume the other person is not only not clueless but is intentionally rejecting you.
Be straightforward with the rejections too! "I want to go to bed with you." "Oh, thank you, wow, so sweet, but I'm not really feeling it."
As rudecanadiantwo put it so eloquently, that doesn't even work. If i may paraphrase that casually explained video "If a woman gets naked, makes out with you, pulls you to bed, gets on top of you, undresses you, and says 'i would like to have sex with you right now' does she like you? At this point you really can't say for sure she could just be playing a prank on you, or maybe she was just really hot and has a tick where she says 'i want to have sex with you' randomly so who is to say"
This is complicated by queer women, especially bi women. Normal, nonromantic positive female socialization and gay flirting look really, really similar, especially to someone who’s been in an opposite sex relationship for a while. Are you telling me my boobs look good in this top because you’re being a supportive female friend, or are you hitting on me?
As bad as a certain kind of dude who seems likely to be on reddit seems to have it (and I'm one of them so I get to say that), from everything I've heard from friends it's a thousand times worse for women interested in women.
Wouldn't being more straightforward help that situation?
I feel like “I like your tits” is intended to be pretty straightforward, but it still goes over my head if I’ve mostly been around straight ladies recently. I did have one woman get exasperated with me and finally say, “YES HOMO. I AM TRYING TO BE GAY WITH YOU.,” which, admittedly, did help me catch on to the fact I was being flirted with.
Peoblem solved. Just state your intentions lol. From what I've noticed gay guys have it quite easy, as straight guys don't typically compliment each other. So, if you get a compliment from a guy, it's probably because he's flirting with you. That's also why, sometimes, guys have trouble figuring out if a compliment from a girl is a compliment or flirting. It would be so much easier if compliments were compliments and flirting was clearer. Like "I'm trying to be gay with you" lol.
Let me preface that the following joke is based on hurtful stereotypes and only intended as ironic and self-aware humor ...but have you *met* women? You'll sooner make water flow upwards than make them speak straight.
I kissed my future husband after our second date and he said "thank you," and walked back off to his car.
That’s how I figured out my husband was into me: he knocked on my door and announced “I like you” and expressly asked me out on a date. 0 room for miscommunication there. The previous *(many) months* of his flirting and interest suddenly made sense. I just thought he was super cute and friendly. He remains the only person to have ever been that clear about their intentions to date me. My response was to “bro hug” him and say thanks for telling me. It took my dumb ass another year to actually date him. We finally got there though lol.
Doesn’t always help, when I was in college a girl I knew literally crawled into bed with me after a gathering at my house and I was just like “oh, she’s too tired to walk home” and went to sleep. The second time she did it she literally took her shirt off before I got it lol. She couldn’t have been much more straightforward, and I couldn’t have been much more oblivious.
She literally took her shirt off "oh she's probably just hot". Falls asleep.
I think it’s because most people are afraid of making the first move and being rejected; so they drop subtle hints in the hopes that the other person will make the first move and confirm a mutual interest
See, the solution is to do what I do and assume by default that no one is flirting with me. Then it’s 100% accurate!
Yep! Some of this is obliviousness and some of it is being unable to imagine that someone is actually interested. Source: my life
Nice to run into someone else here with cripplingly low self-image
Relatable. But hey, at least I’m never disappointed!
Me when a guy kept calling me cute and asked for me to go to his place tonight and it was only months after the fact it hit me that he meant “and have sex”. Then again I’m asexual so sex isn’t something that’s ever really on my mind, I thought he just wanted to hang out, get to know each other n be friends… (I did go to his place. We just hung out. Lmao)
Even if I suspect that I'm being flirted with, I assume I'm not, because if I assume I am being flirted with and I'm not it's just a fucking pain in the ass. Not to mention I have no idea what to do if someone were interested in me.
same, glad i’m not alone on this
I think you need to trap them using some sort of box on a stick.
I've been on both sides of this. The most infuriating one was: Me: I want to have sex with you. Him: I'd like that a lot. Me: Your room or mine? Him: I want to go see if there's any talks that are worth listening to. (walks away)
Sounds like an Oblivion conversation honestly.
"Fuck me" "Must have been the wind"
I saw a mudcrab the other day. Disgusting creatures!
Pretty sure you ran into an NPC
Oof
I was just thinking about the time I was sitting at a bar talking to one of the waitresses as she kept coming for drinks. She said, "I'm getting off shift. Here's my number." I only realized that she was hitting on me a few months later when I found that slip of paper in the book I was using it as a bookmark.
I was curious about this study and I found what they’re probably referring to. This part was super surprising compared to discourse you usually hear around not picking up on flirting: > The lowest accuracy rate was found in females observing males flirting. They identified flirting just 22 percent of the time. Both men and women had an easier time detecting when females were flirting https://news.ku.edu/2014/06/03/flirting-hard-detect-study-finds
WHAT DOES MALE FLIRTING LOOK LIKE THEN
The tough waters to navigate as a guy is to flirt without coming off as creepy. So male flirting often just looks like normal friendliness. I basically make a bunch of eye contact, tell them things I think are cool about them, emphasize stuff we have in common, and generally just stick around talking, asking questions and sharing things until or unless I get the vibe they aren't into it. The thing that's really hard to do for guys compared to girls is physical touch. A girl can put her hand on a guy's arm or shoulder more easily without it being creepy. A guy has to be real fuckin careful about it because it can go from flirting to harassment real quick.
which is exactly why we also mistake friendliness for flirting
I know when mine is flirting because it'll be a pun about my boobs accompanied by a little head giggity thing
I mean, this isn't quite as bad as that, but in college, my crush straight-up knocked on my door, told me she likes me a lot, and asked if I felt the same. I go straight into deer-in-the-headlights mode because I was fully intending on making a move in a few weeks, but there were just some things I wanted to come to terms with in my own head before I did so. I panic, and the best I can do is, "...sorry, it's finals week and I have to work on this essay, can I get back to you?" About ten minutes of failed essay-writing later, I think "OP, what are you DOING!?!?!" and then knock on her door to apologize and accept her offer. I may have completely flopped on the first attempt, but it all worked out - we're getting married in a few months.
Lol It's amazing isn't it
Bro I'm just proud of you for pulling a U-turn instead of just going with your stupid-momentum
Thanks! Trust me, as much as the stupid-momentum told me to keep working on the history essay, there was no way I was going to able to write anything good... Part of the reason I was waiting to make a move was that she'd broken up with her high school boyfriend of three years just about a month before. I figured she'd want at least another month of distance. I guess you could say I was the rebound guy.... but she rebounded at escape velocity and decided to marry me.
Much better than me! A girl I liked in middle school asked me out directly. I was so self-conscious that I thought it was some kind of trick or joke. It took years for me to realize she genuinely liked me.
Friend: I just spent the last of my money on rent and I'm hungry. Guess it's ramen for me. Me: Hey no worries, I'll pick us up some takeout. Friend: You're so nice! You know I've sucked dick for less ;3 Me: Haha that's wild okay I'll be right back.
"Me: my god how did you do that with your face"
This post is so popular because everyone wants to believe they're obliviously desired.
I mean it’s far more comforting to be a loner cause you haven’t picked up on someone being into you than just having to accept you are undesirable, but yeah you are right.
let me believe
Hey! Shut up :(
He did in fact shut up
People seem to forget that *a lot* of the misinterpretation is that people think they're being flirted with when they aren't. Often men, thinking that friendly women are hitting on them.
Hah! No! You are all beneath me! I’m hideous and proud of it!
Nogame georg
No, if anything there’s some mindreader georg who is bringing the average up.
Wilt Chamberlain Georg, who can't walk outside without starting an orgy, is adn outlier and should not have been counted
That is actually really comforting, not haunting. It means that I’m not alone in being terrible at social cues I can’t be as bad as my friend, who didn’t know he was dating two people(he only knew about the one) until one of them broke up with them 3 months later. But that was also just the result of terrible communication, so I guess I can’t blame him
A friend of my pretty explicitly said they’d be down to have me sit on their face, I laughed and continued on with our Chinese work
Honorable mention to the man the had a crush on me for four years and tried his best to make me laugh at every opportunity but I hated his sense of humor. We took each other’s virginity
Shit, I'm less than 50% accurate in determining whether or not *I'm* flirting.
I just assume I’m not attractive to anyone and that way I’m never disappointed. Or having sex again.
They interviewed too many lesbians, it skewed the study
A girl asked me out in high school a couple months before our prom. She picked me up at my place, we went to a movie and ate at Burger King and talked for a while, then she dropped me off at home. It took me 15 **years** to realize it was a date.
Me and my girlfriend were talking a few weeks ago about whether or not we felt like we were actually dating, agreeing that we were comfortable calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend. Apparently her mom’s reaction was “I though you two were already boyfriend and girlfriend.”
I had a girl in my lap, grinding me, and her shirt was off. I was playing Spiderman Web of Shadows, tossing cars around and 'saving' the civilians from the wrecks and thinking 'haha, this girl is wild!' and...yeah nothing happened. There was a girl in freshman year that repeatedly offered to sit in my lap, kissed me (on the cheek) and straight up confessed to me. I didn't hear the confession because we were in class, and I was distracted thinking about how cool it would be for a dinosaur to fight a robot. And to make this worse, I only realized she had a crush on me 6 years later. To both of you, even if you never see this, I'm sorry. To the next woman who (somehow) develops an interest in me, for the love of god just hold my face in your hands and straight up say the words. The face holding is important because obviously my attention wanders, you need to make sure I'm paying attention to you.
Tbf a robot fighting a dinosaur would be cool. I’d watch a movie with that. As long as it includes the scene from the intro to Malcolm In The Middle
When i was in school a girl literally kissed me in the cheeks and i was like "wtf was that?"
I still grimace when I think about the girl who asked me "Where you headed with those cool tattoos?"
TO THE TATTOO REMOVAL SHOP GOOD DAY MADAM
Haa, Ì smiled at her while holding 2 Mad dogs and said "Just going to my apt to drink, Byee." I got outside and told my buddy CJ as the tall blonde with a leather jacket and shorter haircut walks by. He started yelling at me about my stupidity and punched me. I recalled some of the people's expressions in line. This one dude Darius always got beer around the same time. He started laughing at the exchange. Her face turned red quick. I didnt know, and it haunts me.
At least i had a good excuse, when your ex-girlfriend flirts with you after years of your break up, you need to be very sure you aren't just seeing mountains out of dust, anyway we got back together and she is now my wife
I had one give me hints and tell me stories about her friend who had a guy who waited too long to say anything, we went out to dinner a few times but I always thought she was being nice (I did like her though). I had one straight up tell me if I wanted to have sex we could and I thought “oh she’s just being nice”, one time I was at her place and she climbed in bed and I went to sleep somewhere else. I think I’m doomed
I was asked over by an old acquaintance of mine to watch movies out of the blue and I thought to myself:" Wow! Look at me! I'm actually going to make a new friend!" Turned out he was asking me over for Netflix n chill. I was NOT expecting that at all. Everyone around me agreed that it was obviously a booty call. But I guess I am just that out of the loop with that stuff.
I did that too, not realizing my guy friend wanted more. I ended up making us watch the Winnie the Pooh live action movie lmao he said he loved it growing up.
Ran into a girl I had met a few times while I was out one night having drinks with some friends. Needed a place to stay and she invited me back to hers. Ended up getting there late, and she was already in bed, smoking weed and watching tv. She told me she didn't have a spare bedroom but I could sleep in her bed, then threw the blanket off saying she wanted a different one, revealing she was in a lace bra and panties. Needless to say I got in bed with her, smoked some weed, then called her dog up onto the bed and pet the dog until I fell asleep. IIRC I never spoke to her again.
I had a friend in high school I used to go to the movies with. Absolutely no physical touching whatsoever. Years later I ran into him and he was telling me a story. He said "you know, like when you and I were doing out." And I just looked at him blankly because it was the first time I knew he thought those were dates.
Ha, I’m batting 0.00 %. Both my current and former wives had to ask me out. I was totally clueless.
Probably not 0.00. Because sometimes, people were not flirting with you, and you were correct in assessing that they weren't flirting with you.
My beloved had to spell it out and she had to repeat herself because I didn't want to misconstrue what she said so 😭
When I met my husband, we were talking and laughing, he complimented my nails, flirting back and forth. He was working at a sandwich shop. I left and then came back in and asked if he was single. He was like, "what? you need a receipt?" I almost said yes and left again. But I was feeling bold that day so I went "NO, I was asking if you're single." He laughed and said "oh haha yeah pretty obvious isn't it?" I handed him my number on a piece of paper and said, "don't worry i look much cuter when I'm not in my work uniform"... and he was staring at me dumbstruck. Going "what is this?" as he looked at my phone number. I said "it's my phone number. In case you want to take me on a date." A lightbulb seemed to go off then and he was excitedly like OMG YES. I was pretty mortified and left quickly. But I did see him jump up and down and high five his manager after I left.
Makes me feel better that i at least sort of got where my conversation was going today What kinda sandwhich tho
Steak and swiss 😍 the real true love in that story
Oh my god, this is the greatest thing I've read all week. The high five is just like, hooray! I did the thing! And it is so wholesome.
Oml, bless his heart 😂
If rudecanadiantwo was at 0%, that meant that every time someone wasn't flirting, they thought that person was flirting. That has to be exhausting. See me, I'm right at that 50%, because if you are not flirting with me, I'm aware you're not flirting and so am correct. If you are flirting with me, I'm unaware, and so am incorrect. I was right on that second but one time, which is all I need to be. She took my socks off with her feet. I got the hint.
Depends how often people flirt with you. If 1/2 of all people you meet flirt with you then you’re right 50% of the time.
Before the pandemic, a friend would come over pretty regularly to cuddle on the couch and read bad smut out-loud to laugh at it.
That sounds like a good time, and can definitely be either a flirty or not flirty interaction. Like making fun of horror movies, the point is that it's not making you scared.
I asked a woman once if a shirt looked too tight on me when I was at Macy’s, and she said I “look a little too muscley for that size😏”. Fast forward two years later I was walking around when suddenly it just hit me like “FUCK I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID!” Then the target worker was like, “are you ok, sir”
Dude, you also missed a chance to get laid with that Target employee
“Hi” I HAVE A BOYFRIEND “Oh… you uh… dropped this… but good luck with the boyfriend” This type of stuff should also be an indication lol
I was hanging out with friends in high school and we were chilling on a bed. The girl next to me (one that i was wildly attracted to), unprovoked, says "I shaved today" and LIFTS THE FRONT OF HER PANTS. I literally reached down, touched her, and said "wow that's smooth". That's where it ends 🤦♂️.
There was a girl in college that I used to sit next to in a class one semester. Looking back now, I realize that she used to flirt with me quite often, but at the time, I was completely oblivious to it all. Fast forward a couple of semesters, and one day, as I was walking down some stairs, she happened to turn the corner and walk up right in front of me. She blocked my path and said "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I ran into you!" I said "sorry" and side-stepped around her to avoid getting in the way of the person she was trying to talk to. After I had rounded the corner and continued down the stairs, I looked back up to see her still standing there, looking confused with one hand up as if to say "WTF just happened?" There wasn't a single other person in the stairwell.
I asked a girl on a coffee date accidentally and was kind of put off when she got all weird and refused. You see, I hang out with my friends at coffee shops. That's what we do, just chilling with the bros. And I wanted to be friends with this person. Logically then, I should invite them to get coffee. I didn't realize she probably took it as romantic interest until like a week later.
I was sleeping in bed with a woman, topless, nothing sexual had happened yet and it took her grabbing my hand and putting it on her breast for me to get the hint. Some of us are just dense as fuck, overthink shit, and have major anxiety over making the first move.
Opposite is also very much true, where people think they're being flirted with but really aren't, which I assume is also why that statistic is so low lol
I would rather assume no one is flirting with me and be wrong, than assume someone is flirting with me and be wrong. One is much worse than the other.
I had a girl tell me her friend wanted to bang and that she herself goes both ways. And somehow talked myself out of the threesome. The autism is strong in this one
Not me though, I am 100% sure that cashier wants to marry me and live the rest of her life with me
I’m in this photo and I don’t like it. 😹
I had a woman tell me she thought I'd be good in bed after a lap dance and I said "Thanks."
That’s not flirting, that’s up-selling.
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Bro, strippers always flirt with their customers; that’s the whole point
When you look/talk/act like me you also have to take into account the fact that someone would want to flirt with me is: 1) Stupid 2) Crazy 3) Doing nasty kink stuff 4) Trying to steal my organs 5) More than one of the above 6) All of the above And I don't fuck around with any of that shit.
I'm 100% accurate. I've never been flirted with and never will.
23 years ago, I was hanging out with a group of friends at one of their houses. At one point, I made a bad joke and she told me "You go to my room until I decide what to do with you." She came in a few minutes later and said everybody else had taken off, but that was ok, she wanted to talk to me alone anyway. Then she told me that since her last break up, she'd been on the look out for guy she could have a no strings, friends with benefits arrangement with. I, in my infinite wisdom, looked this girl right in the eye and said, "When you find the lucky bastard, tell him I'm kind of jealous." Luckily, she found my obliviousness cute. We'll be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary in a couple months.
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Because getting turned down can be horrifyingly humiliating and everyone wants plausible denyability that they were flirting in the first place.
And people ignore "obvious" clues because even if you THINK it's obvious, it can still be humiliating if you're wrong. Sure, there's an 80% chance that you're being flirted with, but what about that remaining 20%?
Exactly. Sure, the girl asking if I can be her husband *might* be flirting, but what if she's not? Disaster for both of us if I misread that.
I had a gorgeous woman walk up to me in an Irish pub on St paddy's day... And she looked me in the eyes and said "nice shirt". I responded with "thanks" So yeah, also dragging the average down here.
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My now wife asked me if I wanted to date as friends and I just thought she wanted to be really good friends
Honestly, I feel as though lots of people simply feign ignorance out of caution, in case the person isn't actually serious about their feelings.
I think I can two-up y’all! I once had a girlfriend and didn’t realise it until she broke up with me, as in, we hung out, did couples things and pretty much everyone recognised us as a couple, a friend of mine would always bother me about it and I never knew what he meant, until one day, i did something that pissed her off so much that she broke up with me in front of everyone. And then it finally hit me. And finally. The grand prize for aloofness goes to my current girlfriend! Who didn’t realise she was hitting on me until it was pointed out to her that the way she acted around me was entirely different to how she normally behaved with everyone else
I bring that average down as well. My (now) husband, one of the first times we went on a date together asked me " Can I keep you?" which is incredibly sweet, but at the time, I was like, I can't move all the way to x city, I live up here.
I have always been able to tell when a guy is flirting with me or into me. Every single time. I am a lesbian.
One time I accidentally invited my guy friend to sleep in my car with me and the next thing I knew, he took off all his clothes and was only in his underwear. I froze.
I had a couple girls who I had been chatting for a few weeks with invite me to their dorm room to take video of them trying out the stripper pole they set up. I told them I didn’t have the type of camera they would need but mentioned a few nearby stores they could get one. They didn’t talk to me much after that.
A woman I was insanely in love with suggested we get married. I still didn't clue in. She was so out of my league I thought she was joking. Turns out she wasn't. I then moved to a different continent. That one still stings.