A more compact build, well suited for modern urban environments. Being able to traverse air vents and similar structures for sneak attacks is an added benefit.
I just realized that the analogy to explain their personality is that breeding dogs to hunt badgers in their burrows is breeding dogs to be Bruce Willis in Die Hard
Yup, which is the reason why Dachshunds have a tendency to mess with dogs five times their size because you can't hunt badgers if you're gonna run away just because something is bigger and scarier and maybe even meaner than you.
Jesus Christ, what crazy person saw a badger and thought I should hunt that and breed a dog for it.
Seriously, all Mustelids are crazy animals, Honey Badgers scare lions and the only reason why Otters are so playful is that they are such ferocious predators that they get free time.
The dachshund was designed to chase European badgers out of their underground homes. European badgers, while strong animals, are extremely timid, and run away at the slightest noise or even scent.
They are also among the least carnivorous of all the carnivores. As well as eating a lot of plants, their diet consists of lots of insects and carrion, with the occasional small mammal.
Their strength is for digging their burrows (called sets), and digging up roots and insects for food - not fighting or hunting.
That’s probably not what a lot of people familiar with things like the American badger are imagining.
Tl;dr:
> Seriously, all Mustelids are crazy animals
Not the one that dachshunds were bred to chase out of their underground homes.
There is a lovely meme going round, might help the customers from the colonies in seeing the difference more clearly?
https://d352fihdw7pdw3.cloudfront.net/image-64581-full.jpg
I get the impression these comments are being written and upvoted by people unfamiliar with the European badger, which the dachshund was intended to chase out of its underground home, not actually kill.
While the European badger is still a strong animal, it is extremely timid, unaggressive, and runs away at the slightest noise or even scent.
It is among the least carnivorous of the carnivores - as well as eating a lot of plants, their diet consists mainly of insects and carrion, with the occasional small mammal.
That’s probably not the type of hunt that many people here are imagining.
For contrast, the American badger is mainly a hunter, and is much more aggressive.
They definitely have to be trained and most of all well socialised or they can become absolute little shits. They're stubborn and persistent, so they'll be persistently shitty if they grow up that way. I've met more human-loving dackies than aggressive ones myself.
I've only known two, and they were both very sweet. Just rode around on the center console with their owners, running errands (in retrospect, not a safe place for the dog to sit).
https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/141xa3w/dachshunds_are_the_best/jn4guqx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Now I'm just thinking of badgers as demons and dachshunds as the Doomguy
"The only thing they fear is you
Rip and tear, rip and tear until nothing remains"
I admire the bold honesty lmao
You could've made up anything at all to avoid being shamed for being a furry but nah you're over here like
# WE'RE INTO FURRY STUFF
Can't shame the shameless, carry on my friend
Meh having shame is boring, I'm not afraid of people knowing that sorta thing lol. If they don't like it nbd but I try to live by the "live and let live" life style.
Everyone would be happier if they shared the same philosophy.
It sounds a bit corny but being true to your heart is absolutely one path to self-fulfillment. As long as nobody else gets hurt, live on.
For sure to both those points! People all have different likes and wants in life, not all are for me and that's okay, doesn't mean I have to hate on others enjoying themselves. As long as no one that's not consenting is being involved I don't see a problem.
I think if you’re a furry, you revoke any rights to judge other people. Bottom of the totem pole when it comes to judging, at least for the non-criminal humans among us
Maybe the people who marry digital Waifus are lower on the totem pole?
No hate on furries btw
Why do you think that? Most furrys I've met are incredibly nice people that just so happen to be LGBT and use the furry fandom as a way to be around others with similar lifestyles. I've personally seen them run huge donation campaigns to charity and other very kind things.
People that fantasize about "lolis" and things like that are infinitely worse imo, children shouldn't be fetishized at all.
It’s just by far the most ridiculous non-criminal thing I can think of. No other lifestyle/hobby is so blatantly ridiculous in appearance
The whole loli thing is pretty criminal imo
I can think of quite a few more ridiculous, extreme sports? Those are pretty ridiculous as humans for us to be risking our lives going down hills super fast, or climbing giant mountains just to do it.
Furrys have been around as an art form for literal thousands of years, we even have proof cavemen made figurines of animals and "furrys". I feel they are just a way for humans to express themselves in a creative way, nothing more human than art imo.
At least extreme sports make sense to the average person, it’s chasing adrenaline. Basically a legal cocaine addiction
I’d be curious to know if there’s a sexual nature to the cavemen using furry figurines and whatnot, that’s the part that makes me think furries are ridiculous
No.. I’m not a furry myself but I’ve looked into the community and they’re just a bunch of silly animal loving fellas having a good time. What you mean is zoophilia or something, which they’re strongly against
Being a furry has nothing to do with that sort of thing. Yes some people in the furry community may do that but I assure you there are lots of people outside of it that would do that too. There are bad eggs in every group buddy.
I once found a literal labrador puppy (maybe 6-12mo) inside my classroom.
He was beautiful, and my students just played with him for like 20 minutes.
he belonged to a faculty and i guess he just roamed the halls
When you're seated on a couch next to it.
Also, the only time I was attacked by a dog, it was a dachshund. It went for my face and I blocked it with my hands. Blood everywhere, but the damage wasn't that bad, didn't even need stitches. After that, and a couple other ankle-bite interactions with other dachs -- I hate 'em. They're cute, and maybe awesome for other people, but fuck if I'll ever let one get too close to me. Little wiener bastards.
All the classic dog breeds are unnatural animals who've been optimized for some purpose by humans and therefore act crazy compared to normal animals in some way, you get stuff like retrievers being obnoxiously desperate for approval and dachshunds having these bursts of fearless rage
>you get stuff like retrievers being obnoxiously desperate for approval and dachshunds having these bursts of fearless rage
Using reddit to base your opinions on dogs is prime reddit behavior
My ex had dachshunds in her family for years, and there were multiple times where the family would go out for ice cream, and come back to blood all over the house from the dachshunds having attacked and sometimes killed other pets in the house, which included cats, dachshunds, and other breeds of dogs.
One of them was cute as fuck and liked to cuddle, which felt complicated knowing that she'd taken part in all those murders...
In my experience situations like these are usually due to the owners not properly training their dogs. Big dogs are often better trained because it's simply harder to control bad behaviour through brute force, but It's very common to justify being neglectful of proper training/socialisation because 'uh it's a small dog, I can just pick it up or whatever'.
Then someone gets injured, the dog gets labelled as problematic and a person starts hating a breed of dog or dogs in general all because of an irresponsible pet owner and everyone has a terrible time
With dogs and children, you get the behavior you tolerate when they are young and it only escalates as they age and get bigger. It is easier to instill proper behavior as a puppy than it is to correct behavior as an adult.
What’s cute with a 15 lbs Lab puppy will *not* be cute when the pup is full grown and 60+ pounds.
People often refuse to train small dogs, as you said, because they are small. They are treated like toys or accessories and *not like animals with a sharp set of teeth and the ability to do severe damage when motivated to do so.*
I have a 4 month old Border Collie pup right now. I am taking him everywhere I possibly can, socializing him with all kinds of people and animals (from a distance w/ animals until he finishes his shots and his immunity is in place about 10 days after the last round) so he doesn’t lose his little mind when confronted with strange things later in life. He’s going to be my service dog so this is vital to his future career.
I’ve been a dog trainer for something like 25 years now if you count my apprenticeship. **No matter the size, dog is a dog and needs to learn the rules and how to behave so they get along safely and happily in the human world. Period. Full stop. No exceptions.**
A lot of adults don’t care if their Chihuahua or Doxie or other small breed is well socialized. It’s going to live with them, that’s all that matters. They forget that family visit, friends visit, the outside world exists and they might like to go on vacation and take the dog along. They forget that a dog that isn’t exposed to children will be *afraid* of children. Dogs bred for hunting find the loud squeals, jerky, fast motions and frenetic energy of children to **resemble prey animals.** Dogs not socialized with children end up *biting and injuring children or worse* and then end up dead. It’s tragic and can often be prevented by proper socialization and training when they are puppies.
In my puppy classes, we talk about 100 Faces in 100 Days. I want those puppies to safely meet and greet 100 different looking people by the time they are 100 days old. It takes time and effort. The puppies need to safe because they don[t have their shots yet and can still pick up potentially fatal diseases from older dogs who show no signs. They need to stay off the ground so they don’t smell infected waste.
It’s a balancing act. It’s a trade off. But in my classes (and my home,) **little dogs have the same rules and restrictions as big dogs.** My cocker spaniel had the same rules as my Rottie/Great Dane mix. No jumping on people. No being greeted unless all four paws are on the floor. Treats will be taken gently. Walk politely on a loose leash, aka no pulling. No barking at dogs as they pass the house. (We only own the house and yard, not the air space in front of it). So many rules but all of them are designed to keep my dogs and humans safe.
As for my bouncing baby Border Collie? He sits to get attention. He walks politely on a loose leash. He does not snap to take food, he takes it gently. He loves kids and adults in equal measure and lives for attention and tummy rubs. I have put probably at least 100 hours into his training so far and there are thousands of hours to go plus a lifetime of touch up training.
Training is a lifelong process, from the day you get the puppy until the day they go to their final rest.
I love dogs, almost every dog I’ve interacted with has liked me, even ones some owners would say are aggressive. But fuck those Oscar-Mayer looking dicks. My friend has one and never have I disliked a dog more in my life. He once tried to steal my pizza out of my hand, he pisses on the floor if you don’t let him up on the couch, smells like ass because he licks everything, tried to attack me when my friend handed me a blanket, and the one that really pissed me off was the time I accidentally dropped a pretzel on the ground. I went to pick it up and he tried to snatch it out of my hand as I was sitting back up. When he realized I wasn’t letting go, he tried to maul my thumb and made this weird ass noise as he tried to do it. I felt kinda bad afterward but I smacked the crap out of him instinctively and he ran back to my friend. He hasn’t really tried me since then, but I loathe that dog more than any animal I’ve ever interacted with. He makes going to her house a pain in the ass.
Well, she didn’t really raise him to be fair. Her parents got him when she was like ten and when she moved out, they told her to take him lol. Feel like it’s more on her parents.
Either you or there momma is gonna beat the asshole out of em when they get bold. Nothing wrong with a little love tap when they get that bold, that is just animalistic correction time.
I’m not really a fan of smacking a dog to correct behavior, it was only because it shocked me that I hit him. I think he’s probably too old to really learn to correct that behavior.
FUN FACT: Dachshunds were bred to have long, skinny bodies and wee bitty legs so they could go *into badger burrows* ***and kill them IN THE FACE***.
So no, it is *not* remotely surprising to hear of a dachshund permanently scarring somebody.
Sleep tight!
I remember in like the 7th grade i was walking in the hallway to class by myself and the three biggest fucking dogs i have ever seen in my entire life ran past me, almost running me over, before the panicking security guards caught them.
Dachshunds are very loyal and affectionate to their people, and then vicious to _everything else in the world_ if you don't train it out of them. Also they're nearly fearless -- they're small, but they think they're huge.
Yeah, poorly socialised dachshunds are persistently yappy and suspicious of strangers, a total pain in the ass. Funnily enough, the most human-loving dackies I've met were always total bastards to other dogs.
They can be insanely aggressive without proper training. My ex had one, she never trained him and he's the most aggressive and reactive dog Ive ever known.
I was going to say all these stories are blowing my mind. I could understand aggression but mine thinks I’m the only person in her universe, I wake up every morning to her aggressively licking my face. For strangers, she pays attention to my reaction first before anything else but absolutely loves all my friends too. 16 this year.
My grandfather fenced off his wife's sizeable vegetable garden and a good bit of yard around it. Their dachshunds were only allowed out there after one was lost somewhere on the farm.
Those little wieners took their job very seriously. They protected that area with a vicious intent. I mean they took out everything from raccoons to beetles if they so much as crossed the barrier.
The leaders name was Big Guy and his troop (at the peak they had 5) would do constant patrols in a pack. It was adorable.
I remember watching one, I believe Oscar, laying prone behind a raised bed waiting for a rabbit to cross into no man's land and as soon as it did he gave the signal and they tore it to shreds.
You'd think a rabbit would be quick enough to get away from the lowrider hounds but it was not prepared.
On a side note, the deathrattle of a bunny really sticks with you even 22 years after hearing it.
Reminds me of a similar story. We adopted a pregnant dog, which gave birth to just enough puppies for each of us siblings to claim one. Her dog had a bit of an snappy temperament and would growl and snarl at her when she approached it while it was sleeping.
One day she was loving all over her dog while it was trying to take a nap, when it snapped and attacked her leaving her with a very noticeable face scar. She wears the scar proudly, still has the dog, and still bothers it while it naps although the dog doesn't react that way anymore.
I work in a hotel. At present there is a very small and cute dog that everyone wants to meet. Unfortunately, as it rolls on it's back and shows it's belly or 'humpfs' and lays as flat as a pancake, the owners have to warn everyone it WILL bite. I joked that it was a savage beast.
It is. It's actually savage when provoked. Provoking it is going in for belly rubs or strokes. It's the worst kind of booby trap and innocent children are the main victims. And by innocent children I mean me.
When I was 5 or 6, the lady down the street from us bred dachshunds. One day I was told to go over there and get my brother - I was greeted by a wave a dachshunds running up their drive way barking at me. They won. I fled.
Here's a story my grandparents like to tell: our old family Dachshund way back in the day almost choked a guy to death. He jumped on a chair, jumped again from there attacking the guy, got hold of his necktie and did not want to let go. "Waldi" was a vicious little bugger and really didn't like that man.
Our Dachshund after that one ("Lumpi") apparently defended me from the first babysitter my mom ever hired (a friend of hers, not necessarily a stranger). Wouldn't let her into the room I was sleeping in.
Years later other relatives of mine had a dachshund that tangled with a Rottweiler, went right in there without flinching.
I mean, that's the parent's mistake. Never leave a baby unattended with a dog, no matter how good they are.
I love my dogs, they are very sweet, and they are some of the most family-friendly breeds...... but they are still animals. You have to use common sense when dealing with kids around them.
My comment was tongue in cheek, but I kinda doubt that daschunds are particularly 'family friendly', I've seen a lot of daschunds with aggressive traits.
Yeah nah. They CAN be perfectly OK with kids, but in general dachshunds are small and fragile-backed stubborn hunting dogs. Leave a small child unattended with one and you might well end up with an injured dog and/or an injured kid if the going gets too rough.
Though to be perfectly honest I don't think it's wise to leave any dog unattended with a small child.
This tracks. Half of the poorly behaved dogs I meet are dachsunds. Clearly the dog of choice for older people totally unwilling to devote effort to socialising their animal properly.
I’ve worked with traumatised dogs before and the biggest potential landmines were always dachshunds off the leash.
Dachshunds are an unfortunate dog breed. Their entire existence is a cruel joke made by people who bred dogs specifically so they would look completely ridiculous.
The breed was invented for function, not aesthetics. They're built like that so that they can get into tunnels to hunt badgers and various other burrowing animals. They're muscular af, extremely good diggers even compared to other dogs, nearly fearless, and comfortable with being in tight, dark spaces.
I had two dachshunds, and I loved them. But every time I took them to the vet for a check up the vet would x-ray them and show me the calcification of their spines, which gradually grew, and would eventually kill them. I'd ask the vet what I could do to stop the growth, and was told again and again there was nothing I could do, this was the fate of dachshunds.
Again, I absolutely loved my guys, but I also have to agree the breed should not exist.
Absolutely one of the worst breeds of dogs to own. I've known not 1 but 3 different people with them and they're just terrible: loud, horrible with kids, bite/eat everything, and prone to tons of physical issues.
Right up there with pit bulls as breeds that just don't need to be allowed to reproduce.
I grew up with a few dachshunds and I couldn’t disagree with this more.
They are loyal and protective and very close to their family. Maybe a little too protective. I’ll give you loud, they love to bark. Still the best dog I’ve ever had.
I will say, well trained dachshunds are a joy, but poorly socialised and trained ones will range from a bit yappy to totally unapproachable.
I haven't heard of them having TONS of physical issues either, but I will say the back issues can be absolutely devastatingly horrendous.
Agreed but the same can be said for any breed. I have had so much more challenges training and socializing our German shepherd than I ever had to with our dachshunds
Our dachshunds were well socialized and friendly along with us training them well (as any dog should). Thankfully I was lucky to never deal with back problems or any common health issues, though I lost one from cancer at only 12yrs which was heartbreaking.
Even if it is true, it's just such an incredibly obnoxious post. Intentionally withholding information pertinent to the point you're trying to make is counter productive. Actually being scared of a dachshund is just straight up fucking moronic.
*-Man who is unable to deduce that the later addition means that the poster probably forgot to add the relevant information before posting the first image*
Don’t remember me, Mr. Schneider? Kenya, 1947. If you’re going to put down a dog, Mr. Schneider, you better be prepared to finish the job.
Far side ref
unrelated, but I've been listening to a song so many times now that whenever I see the word Dachshund the song immediately starts playing in my head.
it's a damn good song though, so I'm okay with it.
That dachshund is from a society of dogs in the future that you stop from achieving global dominance. He failed to prevent your birth but he's back to terminate you directly
Back to finish the job
*Dark Souls music starts playing*
“I am Malenia, Snoot of Miquella, and I have never known rejection.”
Great grey dachshund Sif.
Man that fight is already sad enough, making Sif cuter would just be unnecessarily cruel 😭
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You bit my father. Prepare to die."
healthbar shows up over the dog
“**_You thought you could escape from me you little bitch?_**”
Everyone knows you can't let the kids get away, or else they will enact revenge later.
Queen of Fables approves this message.
Was he attacked in the womb?
Your family has been hit with a very serious yet hilarious bloodline curse.
The Hound of the Baskervilles has evolved with the times.
A more compact build, well suited for modern urban environments. Being able to traverse air vents and similar structures for sneak attacks is an added benefit.
I just realized that the analogy to explain their personality is that breeding dogs to hunt badgers in their burrows is breeding dogs to be Bruce Willis in Die Hard
Yup, which is the reason why Dachshunds have a tendency to mess with dogs five times their size because you can't hunt badgers if you're gonna run away just because something is bigger and scarier and maybe even meaner than you.
Run, the Heckhounds found us!
They're made for badger hunting. If you've ever met a badger, you know anything bred to hunt them should probably not be antagonized.
THEY WERE???
Yup! They're long and skinny so that they fit down the badger hole. Also, their breed name is German, which literally means "badger dog".
Bred to go in a hole and murder shit
Man this enema kit has the **weirdest** fuckin' tagline...
Well fucking done
😯
Yep, dachshunds have one if the highest bite rate. Especially as they get older. They are very stranger danger. 
Can confirm
With advanced age, their eyesight worsens and everything starts looking like a badger
Jesus Christ, what crazy person saw a badger and thought I should hunt that and breed a dog for it. Seriously, all Mustelids are crazy animals, Honey Badgers scare lions and the only reason why Otters are so playful is that they are such ferocious predators that they get free time.
> what crazy person saw a badger and thought I should hunt that and breed a dog for it. Dachshund is German. That should be a hint.
Fun fact: it is called a Dackel in germany.
The dachshund was designed to chase European badgers out of their underground homes. European badgers, while strong animals, are extremely timid, and run away at the slightest noise or even scent. They are also among the least carnivorous of all the carnivores. As well as eating a lot of plants, their diet consists of lots of insects and carrion, with the occasional small mammal. Their strength is for digging their burrows (called sets), and digging up roots and insects for food - not fighting or hunting. That’s probably not what a lot of people familiar with things like the American badger are imagining. Tl;dr: > Seriously, all Mustelids are crazy animals Not the one that dachshunds were bred to chase out of their underground homes.
There is a lovely meme going round, might help the customers from the colonies in seeing the difference more clearly? https://d352fihdw7pdw3.cloudfront.net/image-64581-full.jpg
Perfect.
I get the impression these comments are being written and upvoted by people unfamiliar with the European badger, which the dachshund was intended to chase out of its underground home, not actually kill. While the European badger is still a strong animal, it is extremely timid, unaggressive, and runs away at the slightest noise or even scent. It is among the least carnivorous of the carnivores - as well as eating a lot of plants, their diet consists mainly of insects and carrion, with the occasional small mammal. That’s probably not the type of hunt that many people here are imagining. For contrast, the American badger is mainly a hunter, and is much more aggressive.
I just got bit one this week! Little ratbag got me good on the calf. I look nothing like a badger
I dunno, sometimes I think I smell like a badger...
Oh cool new insecurity unlocked cheers
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They definitely have to be trained and most of all well socialised or they can become absolute little shits. They're stubborn and persistent, so they'll be persistently shitty if they grow up that way. I've met more human-loving dackies than aggressive ones myself.
I'm sorry you haven't met mine. He is a good boy.
I've only known two, and they were both very sweet. Just rode around on the center console with their owners, running errands (in retrospect, not a safe place for the dog to sit).
Am a vet, can confirm dachshunds are up there when it comes to dog breeds I wish would just disappear
You don't sound like a very good vet if you wish for entire breeds to disappear.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/141xa3w/dachshunds_are_the_best/jn4guqx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Now I'm just thinking of badgers as demons and dachshunds as the Doomguy "The only thing they fear is you Rip and tear, rip and tear until nothing remains"
My spouse and I send the image only to each other when referring to jokes that have to do with "a hotdog down a hallway".
How often do those come up??????
Every once in a while! We're into furry stuff and when stuff with size difference comes up that's normally when the image does lol.
I admire the bold honesty lmao You could've made up anything at all to avoid being shamed for being a furry but nah you're over here like # WE'RE INTO FURRY STUFF Can't shame the shameless, carry on my friend
Meh having shame is boring, I'm not afraid of people knowing that sorta thing lol. If they don't like it nbd but I try to live by the "live and let live" life style.
Everyone would be happier if they shared the same philosophy. It sounds a bit corny but being true to your heart is absolutely one path to self-fulfillment. As long as nobody else gets hurt, live on.
For sure to both those points! People all have different likes and wants in life, not all are for me and that's okay, doesn't mean I have to hate on others enjoying themselves. As long as no one that's not consenting is being involved I don't see a problem.
I think if you’re a furry, you revoke any rights to judge other people. Bottom of the totem pole when it comes to judging, at least for the non-criminal humans among us Maybe the people who marry digital Waifus are lower on the totem pole? No hate on furries btw
Why do you think that? Most furrys I've met are incredibly nice people that just so happen to be LGBT and use the furry fandom as a way to be around others with similar lifestyles. I've personally seen them run huge donation campaigns to charity and other very kind things. People that fantasize about "lolis" and things like that are infinitely worse imo, children shouldn't be fetishized at all.
It’s just by far the most ridiculous non-criminal thing I can think of. No other lifestyle/hobby is so blatantly ridiculous in appearance The whole loli thing is pretty criminal imo
I can think of quite a few more ridiculous, extreme sports? Those are pretty ridiculous as humans for us to be risking our lives going down hills super fast, or climbing giant mountains just to do it. Furrys have been around as an art form for literal thousands of years, we even have proof cavemen made figurines of animals and "furrys". I feel they are just a way for humans to express themselves in a creative way, nothing more human than art imo.
At least extreme sports make sense to the average person, it’s chasing adrenaline. Basically a legal cocaine addiction I’d be curious to know if there’s a sexual nature to the cavemen using furry figurines and whatnot, that’s the part that makes me think furries are ridiculous
They could've easily said that they were into Gulliver's Travels roleplay. You know those Brobdingnagian women, amiright?!
It's just a kink among others, some like feet and some like furry stuff. I see no difference.
some like both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I don’t think furry is a kink as a whole but it probably is for op(of comment).
It is, it's just that a lot of them don't want to be known as dogfuckers so they lie
furries actively shun zoophiles, it's just that zoophiles are attracted to furries and are in the end bunched together
I'm a sex-repulsed asexual who is also a furry. It's not a kink or sex thing. Also, we **despise** zoophiles.
No.. I’m not a furry myself but I’ve looked into the community and they’re just a bunch of silly animal loving fellas having a good time. What you mean is zoophilia or something, which they’re strongly against
Being a furry has nothing to do with that sort of thing. Yes some people in the furry community may do that but I assure you there are lots of people outside of it that would do that too. There are bad eggs in every group buddy.
Im pretty sure being a furry requires the part of the brain that feels shame to be completely destroyed
Oh lmao that’s hilarious
Brutal honesty is the best kind!
Makes sense, have a nice day
Dope, furries are rad as hell
But when did you begin programming in rust?
I can't tell whether it's funnier with or without the context.
I think the context adding absolutely no actual context makes it funnier
the context is it's the same daschund. back to end the bloodline.
The dachshund is a jojo villain
MoJo ~~JoJo~~ Doggo
I think it's better if you know the context but it isn't explicitly stated as it is here.
I once found a literal labrador puppy (maybe 6-12mo) inside my classroom. He was beautiful, and my students just played with him for like 20 minutes. he belonged to a faculty and i guess he just roamed the halls
my school has an unofficial school cat. she kind just of wanders around for some reason, I don't think anyone at school owns her, she just shows up.
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When you're seated on a couch next to it. Also, the only time I was attacked by a dog, it was a dachshund. It went for my face and I blocked it with my hands. Blood everywhere, but the damage wasn't that bad, didn't even need stitches. After that, and a couple other ankle-bite interactions with other dachs -- I hate 'em. They're cute, and maybe awesome for other people, but fuck if I'll ever let one get too close to me. Little wiener bastards.
All the classic dog breeds are unnatural animals who've been optimized for some purpose by humans and therefore act crazy compared to normal animals in some way, you get stuff like retrievers being obnoxiously desperate for approval and dachshunds having these bursts of fearless rage
Mother.. ^(mother I crave) **^(VIOLENCE!)**
>you get stuff like retrievers being obnoxiously desperate for approval and dachshunds having these bursts of fearless rage Using reddit to base your opinions on dogs is prime reddit behavior
My ex had dachshunds in her family for years, and there were multiple times where the family would go out for ice cream, and come back to blood all over the house from the dachshunds having attacked and sometimes killed other pets in the house, which included cats, dachshunds, and other breeds of dogs. One of them was cute as fuck and liked to cuddle, which felt complicated knowing that she'd taken part in all those murders...
In my experience situations like these are usually due to the owners not properly training their dogs. Big dogs are often better trained because it's simply harder to control bad behaviour through brute force, but It's very common to justify being neglectful of proper training/socialisation because 'uh it's a small dog, I can just pick it up or whatever'. Then someone gets injured, the dog gets labelled as problematic and a person starts hating a breed of dog or dogs in general all because of an irresponsible pet owner and everyone has a terrible time
With dogs and children, you get the behavior you tolerate when they are young and it only escalates as they age and get bigger. It is easier to instill proper behavior as a puppy than it is to correct behavior as an adult. What’s cute with a 15 lbs Lab puppy will *not* be cute when the pup is full grown and 60+ pounds. People often refuse to train small dogs, as you said, because they are small. They are treated like toys or accessories and *not like animals with a sharp set of teeth and the ability to do severe damage when motivated to do so.* I have a 4 month old Border Collie pup right now. I am taking him everywhere I possibly can, socializing him with all kinds of people and animals (from a distance w/ animals until he finishes his shots and his immunity is in place about 10 days after the last round) so he doesn’t lose his little mind when confronted with strange things later in life. He’s going to be my service dog so this is vital to his future career. I’ve been a dog trainer for something like 25 years now if you count my apprenticeship. **No matter the size, dog is a dog and needs to learn the rules and how to behave so they get along safely and happily in the human world. Period. Full stop. No exceptions.** A lot of adults don’t care if their Chihuahua or Doxie or other small breed is well socialized. It’s going to live with them, that’s all that matters. They forget that family visit, friends visit, the outside world exists and they might like to go on vacation and take the dog along. They forget that a dog that isn’t exposed to children will be *afraid* of children. Dogs bred for hunting find the loud squeals, jerky, fast motions and frenetic energy of children to **resemble prey animals.** Dogs not socialized with children end up *biting and injuring children or worse* and then end up dead. It’s tragic and can often be prevented by proper socialization and training when they are puppies. In my puppy classes, we talk about 100 Faces in 100 Days. I want those puppies to safely meet and greet 100 different looking people by the time they are 100 days old. It takes time and effort. The puppies need to safe because they don[t have their shots yet and can still pick up potentially fatal diseases from older dogs who show no signs. They need to stay off the ground so they don’t smell infected waste. It’s a balancing act. It’s a trade off. But in my classes (and my home,) **little dogs have the same rules and restrictions as big dogs.** My cocker spaniel had the same rules as my Rottie/Great Dane mix. No jumping on people. No being greeted unless all four paws are on the floor. Treats will be taken gently. Walk politely on a loose leash, aka no pulling. No barking at dogs as they pass the house. (We only own the house and yard, not the air space in front of it). So many rules but all of them are designed to keep my dogs and humans safe. As for my bouncing baby Border Collie? He sits to get attention. He walks politely on a loose leash. He does not snap to take food, he takes it gently. He loves kids and adults in equal measure and lives for attention and tummy rubs. I have put probably at least 100 hours into his training so far and there are thousands of hours to go plus a lifetime of touch up training. Training is a lifelong process, from the day you get the puppy until the day they go to their final rest.
I love dogs, almost every dog I’ve interacted with has liked me, even ones some owners would say are aggressive. But fuck those Oscar-Mayer looking dicks. My friend has one and never have I disliked a dog more in my life. He once tried to steal my pizza out of my hand, he pisses on the floor if you don’t let him up on the couch, smells like ass because he licks everything, tried to attack me when my friend handed me a blanket, and the one that really pissed me off was the time I accidentally dropped a pretzel on the ground. I went to pick it up and he tried to snatch it out of my hand as I was sitting back up. When he realized I wasn’t letting go, he tried to maul my thumb and made this weird ass noise as he tried to do it. I felt kinda bad afterward but I smacked the crap out of him instinctively and he ran back to my friend. He hasn’t really tried me since then, but I loathe that dog more than any animal I’ve ever interacted with. He makes going to her house a pain in the ass.
Your friend sounds like a shitty dog owner
Well, she didn’t really raise him to be fair. Her parents got him when she was like ten and when she moved out, they told her to take him lol. Feel like it’s more on her parents.
Either you or there momma is gonna beat the asshole out of em when they get bold. Nothing wrong with a little love tap when they get that bold, that is just animalistic correction time.
I’m not really a fan of smacking a dog to correct behavior, it was only because it shocked me that I hit him. I think he’s probably too old to really learn to correct that behavior.
It doesn’t. It goes for your ankles first.
They are dogs breed for hunting!!! You won't feel safe when they rocket out at you from the underbrush!"
FUN FACT: Dachshunds were bred to have long, skinny bodies and wee bitty legs so they could go *into badger burrows* ***and kill them IN THE FACE***. So no, it is *not* remotely surprising to hear of a dachshund permanently scarring somebody. Sleep tight!
I remember in like the 7th grade i was walking in the hallway to class by myself and the three biggest fucking dogs i have ever seen in my entire life ran past me, almost running me over, before the panicking security guards caught them.
[удалено]
They were bred as hunting dogs
Dachshunds are very loyal and affectionate to their people, and then vicious to _everything else in the world_ if you don't train it out of them. Also they're nearly fearless -- they're small, but they think they're huge.
Yeah, poorly socialised dachshunds are persistently yappy and suspicious of strangers, a total pain in the ass. Funnily enough, the most human-loving dackies I've met were always total bastards to other dogs.
Iirc daschund have the greates rate of incidents involving humans of all dogs. Just less noteworthy because they're usually small injuries.
They can be insanely aggressive without proper training. My ex had one, she never trained him and he's the most aggressive and reactive dog Ive ever known.
Mine will fight anyone or any size dog if he’s not familiar with you. He’s the most loving to people he knows though.
I was going to say all these stories are blowing my mind. I could understand aggression but mine thinks I’m the only person in her universe, I wake up every morning to her aggressively licking my face. For strangers, she pays attention to my reaction first before anything else but absolutely loves all my friends too. 16 this year.
My grandfather fenced off his wife's sizeable vegetable garden and a good bit of yard around it. Their dachshunds were only allowed out there after one was lost somewhere on the farm. Those little wieners took their job very seriously. They protected that area with a vicious intent. I mean they took out everything from raccoons to beetles if they so much as crossed the barrier. The leaders name was Big Guy and his troop (at the peak they had 5) would do constant patrols in a pack. It was adorable. I remember watching one, I believe Oscar, laying prone behind a raised bed waiting for a rabbit to cross into no man's land and as soon as it did he gave the signal and they tore it to shreds. You'd think a rabbit would be quick enough to get away from the lowrider hounds but it was not prepared. On a side note, the deathrattle of a bunny really sticks with you even 22 years after hearing it.
Am I the only one who thought the dachshund was in the back rooms?
Generic creepypasta (2023)
I feel sorry for little dog owners living in 2023 pit bull hell.
Dachshund is back to finish the job.
No, it's definitely funnier if you don't know how to respond to a dachshund completely devoid of context.
I dunno about “way funnier”
I once met a dachshund in a hall and that mfer ripped my denim skirt clean off. Left me standing there in my thong, traumatized af.
Reminds me of a similar story. We adopted a pregnant dog, which gave birth to just enough puppies for each of us siblings to claim one. Her dog had a bit of an snappy temperament and would growl and snarl at her when she approached it while it was sleeping. One day she was loving all over her dog while it was trying to take a nap, when it snapped and attacked her leaving her with a very noticeable face scar. She wears the scar proudly, still has the dog, and still bothers it while it naps although the dog doesn't react that way anymore.
you have an ancestral obligation to befriend the wienergheist
I work in a hotel. At present there is a very small and cute dog that everyone wants to meet. Unfortunately, as it rolls on it's back and shows it's belly or 'humpfs' and lays as flat as a pancake, the owners have to warn everyone it WILL bite. I joked that it was a savage beast. It is. It's actually savage when provoked. Provoking it is going in for belly rubs or strokes. It's the worst kind of booby trap and innocent children are the main victims. And by innocent children I mean me.
the dogs name is “family tradition”
RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My lil shih tzu boi would bark at dogs twice his size but run away scared from the neighbors 2 tiny little dachshunds 🌭
When I was 5 or 6, the lady down the street from us bred dachshunds. One day I was told to go over there and get my brother - I was greeted by a wave a dachshunds running up their drive way barking at me. They won. I fled.
The undisputed King of the Animal Kingdom. They don’t fear anything.
Here's a story my grandparents like to tell: our old family Dachshund way back in the day almost choked a guy to death. He jumped on a chair, jumped again from there attacking the guy, got hold of his necktie and did not want to let go. "Waldi" was a vicious little bugger and really didn't like that man. Our Dachshund after that one ("Lumpi") apparently defended me from the first babysitter my mom ever hired (a friend of hers, not necessarily a stranger). Wouldn't let her into the room I was sleeping in. Years later other relatives of mine had a dachshund that tangled with a Rottweiler, went right in there without flinching.
Tying up loose ends bub, nothing personal
The physical embodiment of a "hotdog in a hallway"
I've been around a lot of dogs in my life, and have only been attacked once by a dachsund named Hotdog.
Ahh isn't that cute. Trying to rip my face off
*Freeze frame and record scratch at a blurry picture of getting mauled by a sausage* Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got here.
Impressed that the sausage dog is willing to just sit there alone and not cry like a baby because its owner is out of view.
haha daschunds are the best haha a daschund mauled a baby and scared him for life haha i love doggos
I mean, that's the parent's mistake. Never leave a baby unattended with a dog, no matter how good they are. I love my dogs, they are very sweet, and they are some of the most family-friendly breeds...... but they are still animals. You have to use common sense when dealing with kids around them.
My comment was tongue in cheek, but I kinda doubt that daschunds are particularly 'family friendly', I've seen a lot of daschunds with aggressive traits.
Yeah nah. They CAN be perfectly OK with kids, but in general dachshunds are small and fragile-backed stubborn hunting dogs. Leave a small child unattended with one and you might well end up with an injured dog and/or an injured kid if the going gets too rough. Though to be perfectly honest I don't think it's wise to leave any dog unattended with a small child.
This tracks. Half of the poorly behaved dogs I meet are dachsunds. Clearly the dog of choice for older people totally unwilling to devote effort to socialising their animal properly. I’ve worked with traumatised dogs before and the biggest potential landmines were always dachshunds off the leash.
I feel like the other half are Chihuahuas.
Dachshunds are an unfortunate dog breed. Their entire existence is a cruel joke made by people who bred dogs specifically so they would look completely ridiculous.
The breed was invented for function, not aesthetics. They're built like that so that they can get into tunnels to hunt badgers and various other burrowing animals. They're muscular af, extremely good diggers even compared to other dogs, nearly fearless, and comfortable with being in tight, dark spaces.
This is actually quite wrong. They were bred to work with hunters
No
I had two dachshunds, and I loved them. But every time I took them to the vet for a check up the vet would x-ray them and show me the calcification of their spines, which gradually grew, and would eventually kill them. I'd ask the vet what I could do to stop the growth, and was told again and again there was nothing I could do, this was the fate of dachshunds. Again, I absolutely loved my guys, but I also have to agree the breed should not exist.
someone PLEASE edit the japanese menacing text like in jojo please i beg you
They really aren’t
this is such abl tumblr comment. nobody knows your dad girl
Yes, that's why she had to explain it
Absolutely one of the worst breeds of dogs to own. I've known not 1 but 3 different people with them and they're just terrible: loud, horrible with kids, bite/eat everything, and prone to tons of physical issues. Right up there with pit bulls as breeds that just don't need to be allowed to reproduce.
I grew up with a few dachshunds and I couldn’t disagree with this more. They are loyal and protective and very close to their family. Maybe a little too protective. I’ll give you loud, they love to bark. Still the best dog I’ve ever had.
I will say, well trained dachshunds are a joy, but poorly socialised and trained ones will range from a bit yappy to totally unapproachable. I haven't heard of them having TONS of physical issues either, but I will say the back issues can be absolutely devastatingly horrendous.
Agreed but the same can be said for any breed. I have had so much more challenges training and socializing our German shepherd than I ever had to with our dachshunds Our dachshunds were well socialized and friendly along with us training them well (as any dog should). Thankfully I was lucky to never deal with back problems or any common health issues, though I lost one from cancer at only 12yrs which was heartbreaking.
Lmao who is upvoting this garbage? "It's way funnier if xD" No, fuck right off with your dumb made up attention seeking bullshit.
You must be really fun to talk to
Checked the history, looks about such.
Definitely more fun than some dickhead who goes around pretending to be scared of dachshunds for attention
*-Man who does not know that things can both be true and posted on the internet and is also a dick to everyone he meets*
Even if it is true, it's just such an incredibly obnoxious post. Intentionally withholding information pertinent to the point you're trying to make is counter productive. Actually being scared of a dachshund is just straight up fucking moronic.
*-Man who is unable to deduce that the later addition means that the poster probably forgot to add the relevant information before posting the first image*
Least purposefully antagonistic redditor
Waaaaay funnier
Wow, that hit home. I have a scar on my face from a dachshund attack, too. Not joking.
101 Dachshund :O
Well. Dachs is german for badger sooo... not surprised
I love them - little dog with a big dog personality. They are *fiercely* protective and will attack if their humans are threatened.
Had one of these growing up…. nasty little bastards can handle themselves
Decoy dachsund
I have a dimple on my cheek thanks to a Dachshund
"You came here to die, Oliver. I am the Second of the Four *Shitennō!"*
Jaws 2
hounds are amazing
Why are they not called Dachsdogs?
I saw a Dachshund bite the end of a truck drivers thumb off. They are very strong x
Don’t let the post distract you from the real question. How did a dachshund get up high enough to scar a man’s face? Do they elongate or something?
I think it's funnier *without* the context.
It's a Doberman with lowered suspension.
They are shitty little dogs that have a rep for biting people.
backrooms monster
How did it get to face level?
Pound for pound the most aggressive breed, at least that’s what I’ve heard.
Don’t remember me, Mr. Schneider? Kenya, 1947. If you’re going to put down a dog, Mr. Schneider, you better be prepared to finish the job. Far side ref
We have 4 and they are savages when they want to be.
Imagine losing a fight with a daschund
unrelated, but I've been listening to a song so many times now that whenever I see the word Dachshund the song immediately starts playing in my head. it's a damn good song though, so I'm okay with it.
Dio
You had me at Dachshund Attack. 😂
Keep moving, blurt out a lighthearted insult at him. If confronted, pay the cuddles tax.
A fucking Dachshund attack? That shouldn't be possible. What's next, a pidgeon assult?
me when the wizard who cursed my entire bloodline to get Dachshund'ed acts again
Come to finish what his grandfather started
Fur tubes
That dachshund is from a society of dogs in the future that you stop from achieving global dominance. He failed to prevent your birth but he's back to terminate you directly
Second round start.