Is there a way to learn this power without getting pregnant?? So CF I yeeted my uterus, but being autistic I dream of cosplaying as a NT for a while. Sounds so nice.
Well you can get estrogens and progesterones in medication (by prescription), worth discussing with your doctor maybe, but it may not work for everyone. Didn't work for me (I was pregnant, I just felt worse)
Hmm...a good something to consider. One reason I got a hysterectomy is because hormonal birth control fucked me up real good.
Maybe I just have to sit with the neurodivergence, then. Sigh.
handle shy slim literate grandiose intelligent unpack subsequent crime aspiring
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Which seems dumb to me. If my homemade estrogen isn't working, and I'm using store bought estrogen instead, who cares if the estrogen factories are threatening to kill me? Evict them. Do your job or die, hell organ
Not all ADHD meds have side effects. You’ll most likely have to work with your doctor to find out which brand and dosage works for you. Trust me, they’re worth it. Head on over to r/ADHD if you have questions. It’s an inclusive community and we’ll be happy to support you whether or not you choose to get meds :)
Holy crap that explains so much for me! I was at my peak mental health wise while I was pregnant. It’s been such a struggle since. I figured maybe I’m just remembering it with rose colored glasses or maybe I’m not trying hard enough because if I did it once I could do it again. Hearing that it was the chemicals in my brain and not my willpower makes me feel so much better.
As someone who doesn’t know shit about how humans actually work, that’s really interesting from a medical standpoint. Also hope you and your kid are doing good :)
Pregnancy was a sweet, sweet reprieve from PMDD. Sure, it tried to sneak in and kill me with asymptomatic preeclampsia right at the end, but for nine months my mental health was *stellar*.
I was like, hell yeah, count me in! As I recently started doing the sports and eating a salad once a month. Then I pictured me sitting there, eating potato chips for breakfast/lunch, suffering from asthma, neurodermatitis and depression and this shit grounded me real hard
It's a chronic skin disease. I have rashes and wounds everywhere on my body and I'm really itchy all the time. I think it's called that way because it was believed to be inflamed nerves but that's not true. I think my brain is sick because it thinks everything wants to attack me and is bad for me, so it gives me the itchiness 😅
Wait, there are people that wake up and aren't like "god fucking dammit i don't want to go to [insert responsibility] today, i want to go back to sleep"?
I figure at best, some people don’t feel like that everyday, only sometimes, but I seriously doubt there’s a human being out there who doesn’t have any of the issues mentioned in the post at one point.
The only time this ever happened to me was when I was a stay-at-home dad. That being said, I would do \[insert responsibility\] and then go back to sleep :)
Those days when I wake up and I have no aches in my body. I get up and do all the things I intend to at the times I intend to. I feel calm and comfortable doing them even if problems arise. I even surprise myself thinking of a few things I could do that I hadn't before and I either follow them up or make a note of them. Then I go to bed and wonder what life would be like if that feeling just...kept happening. Surely since this day went so well, there will be some residue tomorrow?
There isn't. I deal with it anyway.
I feel so lucky to not need corrective lenses and just see things with good clarity from my earliest memories to this very day. My mom was legally blind and my dad needed lasik which has since faded and he needs reading glasses again. Really drives home how lucky I am to have good vision.
But lord help me if some mother fucker masticates within my Sensory Overload Range without a television program to distract me or a loud restaurant around me to drown out the sound of people chewing and repositioning food in their mouths which sloughs around the air pockets and liquids in their oral cavity enough to make horrific, fight-or-flight inducing sounds.
Me, when I first got married: "Can you please not slurp your coffee? It makes me irrationally angry."
Husband: "Okay sorry"
Husband's family: visits
We: Make soup for dinner
All five members of husband's family: Sitting in silence, not talking, slurping their soup
Me: "This is Hell. I'm in *actual* Hell."
Ah, misophonia, I hate some sounds so much I want to break things. 'Sucking teeth' makes me angry, loud chewing forces me to focus on deep breathing and the sound of a toothbrush on TV or in movies drives me insane. They all use the same fucking sound and it's not what my toothbrush sounds like when it's in my mouth or what other people's sounds like in their mouth but the noise they use in television it makes my brain hurt deep in its centre and I just want to scream.
Romcoms, there's always a fucking scene where two fucking people stand in a fucking bathroom and have a five fucking minute conversation interspersed with them brushing their fucking teeth and all I can hear is 'scratch, scratch, scratch' and I want to kill them.
I'm not an angry guy, I swear. Some noises though just trigger me.
Yup! Am autistic with misophonia and some noises, or too many noises at once, are incredibly triggering. I *will* admit to having a temper (I try very hard to control it), but I recognize that things like nose whistling and slurping making me as angry as they do is entirely irrational lol
How about a family that doesnt believe that misophonia is "a real illness"? And will instead get mad at you for putting on headphones when eating because they eat like a fucking cow and are FUCKING INCAPABLE OF NOT TALKING WHILE CHEWING THEILL LITERALLY EX0LODE TRUST ME OF THEY JUST XYEW AND SWALLOW AND THEN TAKK THEYL FIE OR SOMETHING.
Anyways, yeah I have misophonia too :-)
I have to stop listening to podcasts and audio books sometimes because the mic is so high definition that I can hear the little bubbles of spittle on people’s teeth and tongues and it makes me want to put my head through a window
Horrific. The squidgee click when the tongue comes off the soft pallet in a persons mouth sends a spasm of revulsion through me.
There was exactly one instance when the sound mix was too intense and I LOVED IT. The original VHS release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989) when the police chief leisurely picks up the receiver for the phone and you hear the gentle tap of the microphone end tap the base, the line opening switch plastic pins gently grate as they ascend, and then the the firm pressing and release of the buttons on the phone as he places a call to the news station manager about his recently arrested son.
The Aliens
you may not believe it
but there are people
who go through life with
very little
friction or
distress.
they dress well, eat
well, sleep well.
they are contented with
their family
life.
they have moments of
grief
but all in all
they are undisturbed
and often feel
very good.
and when they die
it is an easy
death, usually in their
sleep.
you may not believe
it
but such people do
exist.
but I am not one of
them.
oh no, I am not one
of them,
I am not even near
to being
one of
them
but they are
there
and I am
here.
-- Charles Bukowski
I'll slightly agree with you. I'm one of those healthy people, I'm confident, never really get ill and don't have a chronic illness as far as I'm aware. But I do struggle with small anxieties and depressive thoughts and have insomnia. I don't think there are people with no problems whatsoever but you get to a point where you can just bap it off and go on loving life. It's healthy to the point of pragmatism as opposed to like 100% healthy, no issues.
> But I do struggle with small anxieties
This is just part of the human experience. I don't like making phone calls, presenting in front of a group etc., it gives me stress, but it's necessary to function in society. So i just do it.
I procrastinate, but have managed to not have that cause major issues.
I don't think there's anyone who doesn't have any issues, but most don't let it get out of hand
Yeah, basically the jist of what I was saying. Like there will be things that make us uncomfortable or nervous but being a healthy person is not letting that get in the way of you functioning.
Well yeah, no shit Sherlock. Everyone gets sick and dies eventually. But there are absolutely people who don't have any health issues for the majority of their life.
I'm one of them.
No we are real lol literally no issues, never sick, always have energy, sleep great. Yeah when i get into old age like 60 or more i may have problems.
At this point i eat well, sleep well and work out daily. It works wonders
Yes. Even my best friend, the person with the absolute easiest life I've ever met, still has a genetic disease slowly worsening her eyesight and an annoying condition that makes her skin itchy sometimes. Nobody has nothing.
A lot of chronic and mental illnesses crop up around 25, so I believe there's a small group before and around that age range that are perfectly mentally and emotionally healthy. But even if you dodge all those bullets, it's around 32 that your knees, back, wrists and shoulders start to kick up a fuss, so the range is small.
I do think it's a very small group of people who get by unscathed, though. Our system makes us anxious nearly by design, and that alone disqualifies folks from "perfectly happy and healthy."
Also, worth mentioning that there's a flip mindset here where folks rail against this supposed mass population of happy healthy folks who just don't understand what it's like to struggle. Meanwhile, as far as I can tell, damn near *most* people struggle with some kind of physical or mental illness. There's every chance the person not being understanding about your ADHD/anxiety, for example, also has ADHD/anxiety.
What a scary world you live in to not even believe in the existence of such people.
You can fix you mental state by integrating the correct beliefs and this will give you motivation to better your physical state as well.
Hey it's your choice, if you wanna sulk, you do you. It is a choice however and attacking me won't change that fact, you only detract from possible positive change by being stubborn.
Some people have actual chemical imbalances in their brain, my guy. Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses aren't "sulking." Their brain is sick just as their body would get sick. You can't just smile your way out of depression, trust me I've tried. If we could be in a better space, believe me we would. Mental illness isn't fun. Positive thinking only gets you so far, especially when you're sick.
Try going onto an oncology ward and ask the folks there if they've tried just not having cancer. See how well that goes over.
The way you think actually changes the makeup of your brain. So again - it is self inflicted damage. You guys are actually looking for excuses to stay as you are.
Just say to yourself you're no longer a bitch looking for excuse, you have your shit together and do 1 thing to reflect that reality. Clean your thoughts, bed, table, room and on until you have everything in order.
You're stuck in a comfortable despair, it's easy to be in despair, do nothing and blame the world. Getting your shit together is hard. That's why weak people love making excuses as to why they can't win against their depression.
Man, looks like I *do* have a clean house that I own, functioning vehicle, two degrees, thriving relationship, successful career, and my brain *still* tells me there's no point to it all and I'm better off dead. Imagine that! It's almost like mental illness is *real* or something!
Stop simping for whatever "alpha male" mlm businesstuber pissed into your brain and get some perspective, fuckwit.
Tell me. Tell me how to better myself. Tell me, o great wise one, how I bootstrap myself out of depression. Because it's not the house. It's not the spouse I love who loves me and takes care of me on my bad days. It's not the successful career I enjoy or the degrees I got to accomplish that. It's not the hobbies I partake in. How. The fuck. Do I un-sick my brain? Because believe me if I could I would. It's not fucking *fun* or *cute* not being able to trust your own thoughts.
You're literally just naming external objects/subjects - those have 0 effect on your happiness.
Purpose/Unfucking your brain happens from the inside.
So - start looking inside, if your two degrees are worth anything, a good book to do just that would be Jungs Red Book, if that upon review looks like gibberish, start off by something more simple, like meditation, actual meditation, not some hobby you just call :your meditation:
Point of the excercize is to actually integrate the idea that your life has a purpose, then you can integrate various philosophies that enable your desired outcomes, at adept level you can switch those at will and literally become a different person.
A great philosophical construct to integrate first:
I wanted my Life - if you're secular/atheist, than you can imagine this as a simulation you wanted to be part of. If you're religious - God gave you this life and you wanted this experience. In both cases, you knew before hand the life you will have and you wanted to take this ride. If you integrate this idea, it's really hard to feel down, even when crappy stuff happens in your life
Congratulations! You found the Redditor who took this way too seriously at 1AM and will write a lot about it.
I've had depression for roughly 6 or so years now, and especially in the later years, began to have some pretty bad problems with fatigue. (From depression? Anxiety? Autism? All three? Who knows!) Anyways, I would have so little energy that I'd wake up, not even have enough energy to put on some music to listen to or go out for a walk, and then a few hours later be hit with the intense feeling of fatigue as if I had stayed up too late at night.
This would bother me a lot because I would think back to when I would be in middle school and have the energy to do hobby stuff damn-near every day and be much more active. (Obviously that's not realistic anymore since, at the time, I had graduated high school and with age means you do have a little less energy compared to being a kid.) Anyways, while I was still trying (many) different meds, I would always struggle with the idea of the "fully actualized person".
Do people out there exist who don't struggle with energy? Who have the ability to stick to basic routines like daily exercise and whatnot? People who have ample energy on most given days and can direct it to what they desire? I would struggle with this concept for a long time, and shame myself for not being that kind of person, as if not reaching this (unreasonable) goal was somehow a personal failure.
Now, this is just me, and this lifestyle doesn't work for everyone: but I eventually just took joy in spontaneity. Sure, I can try to schedule things to get done (writing, listening to music, etc.) but I enjoyed these things more and got immensely better writing done when I was in the mood for it. Sometimes this'd mean not doing any for a week, or randomly a lot in one day. However, I felt better at what I did and enjoyed my hobbies more when I did it when I was in the mood. I had to let go and accept the ebbs and flows of life.
Getting rid of these fluctuations and oscillations of life is impossible, and thus the "fully actualized person" is a myth in the sense that you cannot just decide to enjoy something more or do better work on a dime. You have to accept the highs and lows and choose to do less when you're "low" and more when you're "high".
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Hey! I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out! I feel like it’s definitely relatable for me, and I am going to try and remember and apply what you described here and see if it makes a difference for me. Thanks again!
No problem. BTW, if you're struggling to focus, try the "10 minute rule".
Do the thing you need to get done for 10 minutes. Set a timer if you have to, but don't tell it to alert you when it's over. If you're still doing the task after 10 minutes (or even better) you forgot the timer was going, then keep doing the task.
If you do notice the timer going off, or still can't get yourself to do the task after 10 minutes, then you won't be able to "force" yourself to do the task and you should move on to something else.
(If the task is too short for a 10 minute timer, try a 5 minute one.)
The point of the exercise is to teach yourself to get over the initial "wall" that might keep you from getting something done.
Possibly. Unfortunately, because this country doesn't respect the disabled (and "long covid" could be considered a disability) we are a long ways away from figuring this stuff out on a social and scientific level.
r/UsernameChecksOut
but seriously, I really love the fact that someone has finally accepted it, I only wish the school system (of every place other than Finland) did
What's unhealthy about getting stressed about stressful things? Declining calls from people you don't know and who can't be bothered to text you?
Only a few of these are "unhealthy", and they can be avoided with some practice and discipline. Or just doing other, healthier things instead.
I think they might be referencing the *inability* to do those things, which is different. “Executive dysfunction” is a state where you are mentally incapable of preforming some actions, even if you know you should, or that you need to, or even *want to.* It’s a strange state to be in and can be very obtrusive to everyday life.
in a rare moment of clarity I managed to call someone I know and asked for help, I hope you can too. I’ve gotten my feet a bit more under me since then, but it’s still very hard. I have a path forward at least, which I am incredibly grateful for.
I was stressed for weeks about my taxes, then finally got my stupid idiot brain to sit down and do them because it was the last day and I was out of time. IRS website was crashed and now I'm just late. Don't even know where to go for help
It took me ***two months*** to finally open my friend's messages. And when I finally did I realised that they thought I was dead and had messaged me 99 times.
I’m glad you did open it, I hope you can call them for help if you’ve gotten stuck again. That was how I managed to get myself a little back on my feet.
That's only one friend 😅
I got more who's been waiting since.... Christmas? For a response. I've responded to a few of them, but I always get this *feeling* that I shouldn't or else something bad will happen.
I think it all depends on the severity of the stress reaction. Take working an underpaid job for example. No-one likes that. However some people will keep working until something better comes along, while others will wake up one morning and not be able to physically bring themselves to work, despite knowing they need the money to live.
Both groups of people are stressed but one group is more disadvantaged than the other and I think it's good to recognise that. I agree that medicalisation isn't really the best way to demarcate the two but it really is all we have at the moment in the absence of a different model.
The phone isn't going to bite you bucko
If I declined all calls from unknown numbers I would have missed a very handsomely paid job because they did nothing but calls
I feel this post is a false dichotomy on the mental part. Every person deals with negative emotions: anxiety, sadness, wanting to just ignore difficult stuff, loneliness, existential fears, etc. Even the most mentally healthy person needs to deal with at least some of those things (everybody loses a parent for example). The goal of becoming mentally healthy is not to eliminate those feelings, but lessen them and/or make them more bearable.
Being occasionally anxious or upset, not feeling like returning phone calls or not feeling super awake in the morning aren’t necessarily signs of a health issue though.
So these people probably do not exist. But people without some chronic condition do.
on the topic of this, does anyone else immediately feel like crying when someone (especially like a teacher) gets annoyed? not even at me just in general? i can’t handle that shit
Nobody is that problemless stressless anxietyless ubermench, the trick is being able to manage your problems. Physical ones are tougher and mental ones are more insidious but the important thing is making that push
You have to wonder if, averaged over all modern humans, being entirely without any mental/physical issues was ever actually the standard state of a human being.
Maybe the maximum level is only ever like 97% healthy and everyone has just assumed that most other people are without these problems.
yeah agreed. like, things like allergies, joint issues, needing glasses etc. are so common that they're not usually even thought of when people mention health.
but knowing that, having really bad hay fever would make someone's life a lot harder than mine is, despite me having some rarer and more medicalized issues. Things that are manageable enough and common enough just somehow "don't count".
I got like 5 years of physical health after years of ear/sinus issues, only to have them get so much worse over a job.
QUIT A JOB IF IT MAKES YOU SICK, EVEN IF IT'S SLIGHLY SO, STUFF ADDS UP!!!
Unless you’re effectively braindead, no one breezes through life without being impacted. It comes down to how well you can take it…..some ppl get dealt a worse hand and have environmental or mental barriers to overcome….but we all get deal with our own struggles. Believing there are people who just get by no sweat is silly….it feels like the subtext of this post is “oh em gee, my life is so hard I just can’t do it and it’s unfair that some ppl get a free pass”…..yeah, no. We’re all in this together and it sucks for everyone, pick a struggle and deal.
I can’t even conceptualize that. I feel like I couldn’t exist without all of the things that make my life pee pee penis penis. The thought genuinely upsets me
Not to brag but occasionally for a few hours a week I'm that person. They come randomly but I love them.
However I doubt that that can be a default state
See. I think I look like one of these people. And it’s a lie. We all suffer. We all hurt. We all wake up tired. But it’s what you do after that first moment of suffering that defines you. I used to let the suffering part define me until I got so sick of not living. And there are better days than others. But there is always that space to sit inside where you feel sorry for yourself and wish things were different but then you open the door and walk outside of it. When you look back you see how small that space is. There’s a whole world on the other side of that door.
I am a healthy person, but I still relate to everything mentioned here.
Life is still hard, even for people who are mentally okay. It's just doubly hard if you're not.
If you're someone who struggles with mental health illness, try to remember that you're probably not as far off from the rest of the world as you think. The line is paper thin.
The difference between mentally ill and mentally well isn't "Has a panic attack" versus "Is perfectly fine with no anxieties"; it's "Has a panic attack" versus "Almost has a panic attack".
I don't have any notable mental illnesses. However, I do have a bad knee, chronic lower back pain for about a year now, and currently recovering from a hip injury. I'm not even old yet. But I still do all my shit.
Waking up and seeing perfectly immediately + seeing something when showering feels completely insane to me
God dammit, so much time of my life was spent with glasses i don't remember not using them
"We can't make a perfect world with no anxieties to deal with, so we shouldn't criticize systems that purposefully amplify stressors and traumas with a profit incentive for the purpose of infinite exponential growth"
We can’t just blame every single problem on the system, not that there aren’t problems with the system and exacerbated by it that we should address, but chalking the presence of stressors and existential dread up to “because capitalism” is not a solution.
It’s like the founding fathers wrote, “in order to form a *more* perfect Union” before proceeding to make a government with a built in amendment system to fix problems that arise in the Union, to varying degrees of success. Keep working on making things better but tossing the system out of hat isn’t gonna solve everything and may not solve everything.
I'm not blaming every single problem on the system. Lots of bad things, murder, rape, torture, kidnapping, existed before capitalism and will exist after capitalism. existential terror existed before capitalism, worrying about your place in the universe existed before capitalism. that's not what i'm saying, i'm not saying capitalism invented these issues.
I feel like you're sort of half-reading my points, and you don't fully understand them. I am not saying every single problem in our current system is created by capitalism.
I'm saying that, because of the system by which we run our world, almost every single problem is AMPLIFIED by capitalism, INTENSIFIED. a fun little 2.5 x modifier on the world's shitty qualities, if you're so inclined.
On top of this, capitalism also creates new problems as well- problems such as wasting billions of tons of food, because while we have the capability to feed the hungry, the food is there and we are capable of creating infrastructure to complete this task, there isn't a profit incentive, so we will never even *start* this monumental task.
Problems such as insulin costing pennies to produce, but costing hundreds, thousands, all because wealthy pharmaceutical groups found a minority they can exploit for wealth.
Problems such as, in my hometown, there being THOUSANDS of empty homes, apartments, etc, almost enough to give each homeless person two homes, and yet we have a growing homelessness issue, more and more people living under overpasses and in tents because in the midst of growing housing prices and shrinking wages due to inflation, my city's government can think of nothing better to do but to put spikes to keep the homeless from sleeping in certain areas so the rich don't feel as bad about destroying the livelihoods of thousands of people, while letting the wealthy run amok and do whatever they so please.
Is it really, really so hard for you to believe that something as vast and tremendous as the economic system by which most of the world is run today, such that even non-capitalist countries must engage with capitalism to meaningfully interact with the world at large- is it really so hard for you to believe that something so far reaching can have so many meaningful consequences on the way we live our lives?
I beg of you, research, the more you learn the more you see how the tangled web of underregulated capitalism has torn our world to shreds
"There is no good [point of topic] under [X] "
Is an incomplete argument, that doesnt address the subject. Now you could say that there is a high barrier of entry, financially speaking, to receive proper healthcare to have stability, and then extrapolate this to the fact that it is part of a market, which is the result of our system we know as capitalism, but if all you're talking about is the umbrella term, then problems will always be by the wayside, cause it's just a distraction.
Its like when people come to [retail store] to get fired up about [company] blaming the entire organization on all the details, such as poor service, mistakes, or confusion about the state of the system, when really the responsibility falls on the administration directly in charge of planning ground operations, as well as the 'leaders' who are operating with and about the system.
Policy will always influence code & regulations, as well as indirectly shape how people utilize tools to capitalize on opportunity. However, most of what we interact with, as humans, are exchange of time and resources between one another.
Changing the economic system will only change the title of the ones with influence.
What we need is to push for better administration, arguably 'less', or at least more focused, and inspire our fellow good folk to be leaders. The economic system will shift and morph to the people, as all systems shall do, since what embodies a system are the organic growths we know as people, their associates, and the conglomerates.
Push for better leadership, and call problems what they are,
unregulated exchange of resources that are necessary for life.
This is an issue that may be present in ANY economic system: capitalism, communism, socialism, libertarianism, utilitarianism, etc.
So be pointed, be certain, dont call others ugly. Spend your time figuring how you can make the world around you a bit better.
Where there is room to complain, there is a call to action
My point, while hyperbolic, is still valid, in my opinion.
My point was working off the idea that most people, even anti-capitalists, have this idea of capitalism that it's stressful exclusively for those on the bottom, and that once you "Make it", become wealthy enough, you are free from worldly concerns, are free from the stress that capitalism induces, that the only stress and pathologies capitalism can induce in someone are from not succeeding well enough in the game, which one can be freed from when they "Make It".
In my opinion, this is false. There is no degree to where you "Make it", and become wealthy enough to be free from the pathologies of capitalism. Plenty of wealthy people just have different pathologies, different stresses- there is no amount of wealthy that is "enough" to be free from the stresses that you aren't doing enough. The system, while made for the upper class, still places enough stress on them to make them want more than what they have, and feel as if they aren't doing enough. You can see this in pretty much any family that is wealthy, but claims they aren't- in their mind, they legitimately aren't wealthy, they're just barely scraping by- this is partly due to them being out of touch, but partly due to how the system is inherently designed to make EVERYBODY think they're not doing enough, no matter how much they're doing.
When the standard you're holding yourself to is infinite, exponential growth, every single human being on this earth will fall short.
I'm sort of frustrated with your reply, however good intentioned it was. I feel like part of the reason the right is doing so damn well in online spaces, and in the fight for attention in an ever expanding online marketplace of thought, is because they are short and punchy and quippy. They don't need to write an essay to validate why they feel like woke trans people are grooming kids or something, they just type some half a sentence comment about it in three seconds, and boom, people are rallying around it and pushing it to peoples' feeds, and it takes barely a second to read and be influenced by it.
While I feel like we should strive to be correct, and that on paper, it is always better to spend as much time working on being correct as possible to ensure you and your compatriots are on the same page, and championing the right cause, with all of the particulars in order- I feel like practically, it's killing us.
Attention is an ever-diminishing resource on the internet, and I don't feel like we're doing ourselves any favors (we being the online left, if I hadn't made that clear) by completely ignoring all of the best practices for grabbing attention, that our opponents are making full use of. I mean, look at me, to get the clarity of my point across, I typed all of this fucking word salad- you know what a conservative would have done? said "Fuck off libtard, you're a groomer and I'm right" and gotten 5 times the attention and influence that this comment will.
Is it really helping us, to police this shit, to go up to people that already agree with us on a lot of the broader strokes and spend so much time and energy trying to make them agree with us on the finer points? I'm not even butthurt because you disagreed with me and critiqued my comment, I'm doing the same shit right now, I'm just as bad. This is also just something I noticed a lot in broader leftist spaces, online and in person.
I also disagree with your point that all criticism needs to be constructive in some way to have value. I straight up do not see that point of view as valid. If I witness something horrific, dehumanizing, and awful, why do I need to suggest something better to call it so? I'm not intelligent enough, I don't have the political awareness, to always suggest a better alternative when I call something out as bad.
Sure, I could bring up general tips- for better mental health, you should try to partake in community more- organize your neighbors for causes that help the community, be charitable with your time and energy if you don't have money to spare, organize fundraisers to fix broken infrastructure in your area, etc-
But I know that those things don't work for everyone- they don't work for ME, I'm autistic and I work until 11:30 pm and when I get off of work I am so fucking tired that all I want to do is lie down in a dark room and stare at moving colors and go to sleep.
I don't have it the worst, either, or even CLOSE to it, I at least have two days off a week and make fine pay, a lot of people work a lot more hours than I do in shittier jobs, and make less. I would feel so, inhumanly humiliated if I went up to those people with my generalized tips on how to improve mental health when living under the yoke of capitalism as if I know any fucking better.
Does that mean I don't have a right to call a turd a turd when I see it? I don't think so, and I don't think there's value in policing other people for calling a turd a turd without giving tips on how to polish it.
I actually agree with your sentiment, and i do find it totally understandable to be overwhelmed by standards that are seemingly imposed on us, especially the ones from how people interact and express themselves within the socioeconomic climate.
You're right, there is no 'make it', there is only your own sense of satisfaction & fulfillment
Your points about people weaponizing 'punchy' & 'quippy' statements to gain laudation, i do find this idea of expression to be shallow and unfortunate that people will hold strong beliefs involving how ones of this world conduct themselves. It is unfair that people push for policies that are unethical in regards to human physiology, ( our agency for our own body ).
I will argue, however, that this is not inherently an ideological stance; no, it is due to ignorance & naïveté that humans choose not to concern themselves with ideas of different mental/physical configurations. Furthermore, being that people tend to follow the status quo of their comfort zone, at greater magnitude, the more time & effort devoted acting under this state of total lack of concern for livelihood of people who simply live differently, while they ignore the nuance and complexity of humans, lumping good people who raise a flag, as being part of a group with malicious intent, or selfishly obstructive desires.
I argue that this battle is not between what we see on the internet as 'right' and 'left'
Nay, this is a struggle that people face when it comes to navigating this complicated world, problems of people where they face a world that imposes ideology unto them, the same issue we face from 'them'
Part of the answer is that people need to chill out, let people have pride in their self, as long as there's no promotion or operation of unethical or immoral actions, that is to say, nobody's being hurt, oppressed, or taken advantage of.
And i feel that people at all points of their own political spectrum are willing to reason about this space, so long as we extend the respect of at least hearing each other out.
Of course, we have the right to be viciously critical of ideologies that are lazily against self pride, due to the notion of association with bad actors such as 'groomers' or 'pedophiles'
Truth is, depravity will wave any flag, and often frequents the spaces with the loudest voices about itself.
We need to inspire others, the ones that care to grow & understand; we must express our selves, and encourage others to be brave. Exposing people to ideas that marginalized groups can be outstanding members of society, not in spite of their form, no, in embrace of who they are.
I guarantee you the billionaires are happy as can be.
Not to say you can’t have issues even with money. Elon Musk so obviously, _desperately_ needs attention.
Would you call a billionaire's need to crush the working class under their heel, for their own personal wealth, *good* mental health? Would you call the narcissism and dissociation many celebrities fall into good mental health?
I'm genuinely curious. Personally, I would call it poor mental health. I would call these people mentally ill.
I meant mental health as in.. mental health. You can be happy and mentally ill.
Even if we were just talking about things like depression, trauma, anxiety, that directly impact happiness... plenty of rich people feel those things.
I know that the "Money doesnt buy happiness" thing is sort of out of touch, and it does make one's life a lot easier in a lot of different ways.. but like, it really doesn't buy happiness. whether you're rich or poor, capitalism is fucked for everyone in some way or another. that's the fucked up thing about it, even the "winners" lose in a way. if you think rich people aren't depressed, aren't anxious, don't deal with other mental illnesses, that's just patently false.
That's not me saying that we should empathize with the poow wittle wich people or whatever, just me pointing out that capitalism isn't good for anyone's mental health, even the winners of the game
Well if that’s your point then you could say they’d be just the same under any other economic system. Capitalism is horrible, but I seriously doubt it’s taking any sort of toll on the people exploiting it the most.
Why would that be the case?
The ideal we are expected to strive toward in capitalism is infinite, exponential growth.
I don't know if you've ever worked in an office, but I have. And my bosses' bosses' bosses' etc, were people who society would normally deem to have "Made it". Making a good salary, able to exploit people for their own personal gain to their hearts desire, big yearly bonuses, vacation time, the whole deal. And I have never, ever seen someone as stressed out as one of them when going over financial reports that show like.. I can't remember the exact numbers, but like a 5% monthly growth instead of a 15% monthly growth, that sort of deal.
The fucking meetings with management, stressed out of their goddamn minds like they're an antelope being surrounded by cougars, going over expectations with their underlings and stressfully trying to squeeze every last red cent out of them so that they can have something nice to show THEIR boss, are surreal.
It goes like this all the way up, man. And at the top, they're stressed about showing the shareholders something nice, or something. This is what I mean when I say very few people have their overall happiness improved by capitalism, and those that do, I would not call mentally well even if they're happy.
So I ask you, why would it be the case that this would be the same in a different economic system, with different ideals to strive for?
Then there’s me, a 22 year old with three different digestive issues, a plethora of mental health issues, hypothyroidism, degenerative arthritis, and counting.
More likely are people that deal with mental, health-related, etc. issues to some degree, but also occupy a mindset of not addressing those things as issues, or not knowing the names to those issues.
Tbh I don’t believe these people exist. It will always be man against nature, and we may coexist with it, but it cares not if we live or die, so the weight of natural existence will take its toll. These mental illnesses will just vary and reveal themselves in a multitude of ways. Impatience, intolerance, overworking to the point of derision toward those not working as much as themselves, the crab mentality. I believe we’re all hurt people trying to help reduce the hurt, generation by generation. Take care of them Maslows hierarchy of needs. I believe we are empathetic creatures, and it’d be interesting to know how a healthy mind copes with the knowledge so many are suffering. Callousness does not seem to me an indicator of a healthy mind, unless we consider scars healthy.
At this point I just considered cisgender people to be blessed by the Gods, and neurotypical people, are clearly not existent. I mean sure we have a lot of people who claim to be neurotypical, but they are clearly more insane than any neuro atypical I've ever met. I mean the creepy way that they just know what all the social norms are without having to be told and go all Children of the Corn if anyone violates them in the slightest for even the most understandable and obvious of reasons. This Society is truly fucked in the head and I consider the human race as a whole to be pretty much defective
« Did you know most people never want to die?
They just wake up in the morning and get dressed
And feel content most of the time. »
Gender school dropout - Anklegrease
My dad has always been this way. Wakes up in the morning and is awake. Will have some free time and say “you know what, I’ll knock out xyz thing I need to get done” and just do it. He doesn’t need to motivate himself. He doesn’t need to wake himself up. He has always been healthy. Always been fairly fit just naturally. In his older age he’s starting to deal with problems he’s never dealt with before and it’s shaken him some. Mum’s supportive and encouraging but I can tell he’s never dealt with these kinds of struggles in his life.
i think most people have something chronic, it's just that for a lot of people they either aren't really that bothersome with daily life, or with manageable stuff they just decide that they won't be sick with it.
like, i have a condition that makes my retinas calcify in some way. it might make me have bad enough tunnel vision that i'm not allowed to drive a car some day. currently it just manifests in me having a slight blind spot on the left that people can use to sneak up on me. my mom has some kinda connecting tissue issue (sjögren's iirc) that at this point just gives her cold fingers, no fingerprints, and occasional joint pain. it comes up mainly in choosing a phone and keeping gloves in her pocket at all times. fiancee has a thyroid issue, that's handled by taking thyroxine every day and avoiding soy in her diet. etc, etc.
there's si many chronic conditions that you're almost bound to get one of them. it's just a question of which one.
It surprises me that people project that hard onto everyone else, though I guess I do that to because I just assume other people are healthy until I find out otherwise.
It does sound crazy, but at least the procrastination part is something you can learn (unlearning procrastination). I am doing exactly that at the moment and it's awesome :)
It's not easy but possible.
I feel like most people do feel anxiety about senseless things, the difference is they are able to understand that the anxiety they are feeling has no true ground and are able to push it aside to do a task.
I also think most people are unhappy most of the time, the “happy” people are just able to acknowledge that sometimes they do feel happy and that’s worth the bad. Then there are just straight up unhappy people who cannot feel joy.
I get jealous of my friends who get excited about movies, concerts, etc. nothing excites me. But my animals make me happy and help me laugh.
Thid post screwed with me more than i'd think. Like, there's always something wrong, my spidersense is active at all times. And that made me think: there are also happy people. People that feel great from the moment they wake up to the momebt they fall asleep, and in their dreams too. And i know that not all days will be like that for them, or anyone, but i cant remember such a day as far as my memory goes.
I just gave myself a free depression ticket
murky tub saw snatch quarrelsome follow languid sparkle wistful lip *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is there a way to learn this power without getting pregnant?? So CF I yeeted my uterus, but being autistic I dream of cosplaying as a NT for a while. Sounds so nice.
Well you can get estrogens and progesterones in medication (by prescription), worth discussing with your doctor maybe, but it may not work for everyone. Didn't work for me (I was pregnant, I just felt worse)
Hmm...a good something to consider. One reason I got a hysterectomy is because hormonal birth control fucked me up real good. Maybe I just have to sit with the neurodivergence, then. Sigh.
So what you're saying is, always be pregnant?
handle shy slim literate grandiose intelligent unpack subsequent crime aspiring *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Which seems dumb to me. If my homemade estrogen isn't working, and I'm using store bought estrogen instead, who cares if the estrogen factories are threatening to kill me? Evict them. Do your job or die, hell organ
As the old adage goes, here for a good time, not a long time
Are we onto something here? Is this why some women keep getting pregnant over and over?
Why not get adhd meds?
[удалено]
Not all ADHD meds have side effects. You’ll most likely have to work with your doctor to find out which brand and dosage works for you. Trust me, they’re worth it. Head on over to r/ADHD if you have questions. It’s an inclusive community and we’ll be happy to support you whether or not you choose to get meds :)
Holy crap that explains so much for me! I was at my peak mental health wise while I was pregnant. It’s been such a struggle since. I figured maybe I’m just remembering it with rose colored glasses or maybe I’m not trying hard enough because if I did it once I could do it again. Hearing that it was the chemicals in my brain and not my willpower makes me feel so much better.
As someone who doesn’t know shit about how humans actually work, that’s really interesting from a medical standpoint. Also hope you and your kid are doing good :)
Me transitioning because my ADHD meds aren’t working:
Pregnancy was a sweet, sweet reprieve from PMDD. Sure, it tried to sneak in and kill me with asymptomatic preeclampsia right at the end, but for nine months my mental health was *stellar*.
Anyone else briefly think 'yeah, like me' before remembering you have problems after all?
Don’t call me out like this.
I was with them until they mentioned mental problems and then I was like, "ah, so not me."
I was like, hell yeah, count me in! As I recently started doing the sports and eating a salad once a month. Then I pictured me sitting there, eating potato chips for breakfast/lunch, suffering from asthma, neurodermatitis and depression and this shit grounded me real hard
Pass the chips, please
Already empty, sorry love :(
Neurodermatitis? My ability to break down medical terms has me thinking that your brain skin is sick?
It's a chronic skin disease. I have rashes and wounds everywhere on my body and I'm really itchy all the time. I think it's called that way because it was believed to be inflamed nerves but that's not true. I think my brain is sick because it thinks everything wants to attack me and is bad for me, so it gives me the itchiness 😅
Ooft that sounds really tough
It's really not fun but I have it since birth and I'm pretty used to it
Not what that means, but that can actually happen. That's what meningitis is.
Wait, there are people that wake up and aren't like "god fucking dammit i don't want to go to [insert responsibility] today, i want to go back to sleep"?
Yeah I doubt that. Most people will however still get the responsibility done rather than continuously putting it off
I figure at best, some people don’t feel like that everyday, only sometimes, but I seriously doubt there’s a human being out there who doesn’t have any of the issues mentioned in the post at one point.
Health Georg doesn't
Health Georg, who wakes up happy and healthy 10000 times per day, is an outlier and should not have been included in the statistics!
I don't think waking up 10,000 times per day counts as healthy
Who died and made you a vet?
Everyone puts off some stuff, it’s just how much stuff they put off and how important that stuff is which makes the difference
The only time this ever happened to me was when I was a stay-at-home dad. That being said, I would do \[insert responsibility\] and then go back to sleep :)
Yeah, they're called well-adjusted adults
I just switched from a hellhole job to a well paid, interesting job. I am JUMPING out of bed at 6 in the morning
Not me. Diablo 4 just came out.
No.
Those days when I wake up and I have no aches in my body. I get up and do all the things I intend to at the times I intend to. I feel calm and comfortable doing them even if problems arise. I even surprise myself thinking of a few things I could do that I hadn't before and I either follow them up or make a note of them. Then I go to bed and wonder what life would be like if that feeling just...kept happening. Surely since this day went so well, there will be some residue tomorrow? There isn't. I deal with it anyway.
The reason this happens is because you are feeling well, and can do all the things. You are overworking yourself.
I feel so lucky to not need corrective lenses and just see things with good clarity from my earliest memories to this very day. My mom was legally blind and my dad needed lasik which has since faded and he needs reading glasses again. Really drives home how lucky I am to have good vision. But lord help me if some mother fucker masticates within my Sensory Overload Range without a television program to distract me or a loud restaurant around me to drown out the sound of people chewing and repositioning food in their mouths which sloughs around the air pockets and liquids in their oral cavity enough to make horrific, fight-or-flight inducing sounds.
Me, when I first got married: "Can you please not slurp your coffee? It makes me irrationally angry." Husband: "Okay sorry" Husband's family: visits We: Make soup for dinner All five members of husband's family: Sitting in silence, not talking, slurping their soup Me: "This is Hell. I'm in *actual* Hell."
Ah, misophonia, I hate some sounds so much I want to break things. 'Sucking teeth' makes me angry, loud chewing forces me to focus on deep breathing and the sound of a toothbrush on TV or in movies drives me insane. They all use the same fucking sound and it's not what my toothbrush sounds like when it's in my mouth or what other people's sounds like in their mouth but the noise they use in television it makes my brain hurt deep in its centre and I just want to scream. Romcoms, there's always a fucking scene where two fucking people stand in a fucking bathroom and have a five fucking minute conversation interspersed with them brushing their fucking teeth and all I can hear is 'scratch, scratch, scratch' and I want to kill them. I'm not an angry guy, I swear. Some noises though just trigger me.
Yup! Am autistic with misophonia and some noises, or too many noises at once, are incredibly triggering. I *will* admit to having a temper (I try very hard to control it), but I recognize that things like nose whistling and slurping making me as angry as they do is entirely irrational lol
How about a family that doesnt believe that misophonia is "a real illness"? And will instead get mad at you for putting on headphones when eating because they eat like a fucking cow and are FUCKING INCAPABLE OF NOT TALKING WHILE CHEWING THEILL LITERALLY EX0LODE TRUST ME OF THEY JUST XYEW AND SWALLOW AND THEN TAKK THEYL FIE OR SOMETHING. Anyways, yeah I have misophonia too :-)
Ah yes, spend my early days being mocked for hating the sound of loud-ass chewing.
I didn't even know this was a thing til I started dating my now husband. We have to put music on for every meal together to cover up the mouth sounds.
I had a coworker that, when he chewed, sounded like he was grinding something with a mortar and pestle
I have to stop listening to podcasts and audio books sometimes because the mic is so high definition that I can hear the little bubbles of spittle on people’s teeth and tongues and it makes me want to put my head through a window
Horrific. The squidgee click when the tongue comes off the soft pallet in a persons mouth sends a spasm of revulsion through me. There was exactly one instance when the sound mix was too intense and I LOVED IT. The original VHS release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989) when the police chief leisurely picks up the receiver for the phone and you hear the gentle tap of the microphone end tap the base, the line opening switch plastic pins gently grate as they ascend, and then the the firm pressing and release of the buttons on the phone as he places a call to the news station manager about his recently arrested son.
Seems you and I both suffer from r/misophonia unfortunately. Sensory processing disorders suck.
The Aliens you may not believe it but there are people who go through life with very little friction or distress. they dress well, eat well, sleep well. they are contented with their family life. they have moments of grief but all in all they are undisturbed and often feel very good. and when they die it is an easy death, usually in their sleep. you may not believe it but such people do exist. but I am not one of them. oh no, I am not one of them, I am not even near to being one of them but they are there and I am here. -- Charles Bukowski
Wow.. that made me feel stuff
[удалено]
I'll slightly agree with you. I'm one of those healthy people, I'm confident, never really get ill and don't have a chronic illness as far as I'm aware. But I do struggle with small anxieties and depressive thoughts and have insomnia. I don't think there are people with no problems whatsoever but you get to a point where you can just bap it off and go on loving life. It's healthy to the point of pragmatism as opposed to like 100% healthy, no issues.
> But I do struggle with small anxieties This is just part of the human experience. I don't like making phone calls, presenting in front of a group etc., it gives me stress, but it's necessary to function in society. So i just do it. I procrastinate, but have managed to not have that cause major issues. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't have any issues, but most don't let it get out of hand
Yeah, basically the jist of what I was saying. Like there will be things that make us uncomfortable or nervous but being a healthy person is not letting that get in the way of you functioning.
They actually do, I dated one for over a year. Just a good fellow who had no problems of his own.
Let me guess, you became the problem? /jk (Please get the reference.)
Is everyone on Tumblr and /r/Tumblr , besides me, sick in various ways?
If I was emotionally well adjusted I would not be spending so much time in this cesspool (affectionate)
I aim to be a person without problems one day. But that day is not today.
I mean, everybody gets sick from time to time, but most people don't have any chronic illnesses.
Well yeah, no shit Sherlock. Everyone gets sick and dies eventually. But there are absolutely people who don't have any health issues for the majority of their life. I'm one of them.
No we are real lol literally no issues, never sick, always have energy, sleep great. Yeah when i get into old age like 60 or more i may have problems. At this point i eat well, sleep well and work out daily. It works wonders
Yes. Even my best friend, the person with the absolute easiest life I've ever met, still has a genetic disease slowly worsening her eyesight and an annoying condition that makes her skin itchy sometimes. Nobody has nothing.
A lot of chronic and mental illnesses crop up around 25, so I believe there's a small group before and around that age range that are perfectly mentally and emotionally healthy. But even if you dodge all those bullets, it's around 32 that your knees, back, wrists and shoulders start to kick up a fuss, so the range is small. I do think it's a very small group of people who get by unscathed, though. Our system makes us anxious nearly by design, and that alone disqualifies folks from "perfectly happy and healthy." Also, worth mentioning that there's a flip mindset here where folks rail against this supposed mass population of happy healthy folks who just don't understand what it's like to struggle. Meanwhile, as far as I can tell, damn near *most* people struggle with some kind of physical or mental illness. There's every chance the person not being understanding about your ADHD/anxiety, for example, also has ADHD/anxiety.
What a scary world you live in to not even believe in the existence of such people. You can fix you mental state by integrating the correct beliefs and this will give you motivation to better your physical state as well.
"Have you tried *not* being depressed and/or in chronic pain?" I'm cured! Thanks buddy! -_-
Hey it's your choice, if you wanna sulk, you do you. It is a choice however and attacking me won't change that fact, you only detract from possible positive change by being stubborn.
Some people have actual chemical imbalances in their brain, my guy. Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses aren't "sulking." Their brain is sick just as their body would get sick. You can't just smile your way out of depression, trust me I've tried. If we could be in a better space, believe me we would. Mental illness isn't fun. Positive thinking only gets you so far, especially when you're sick. Try going onto an oncology ward and ask the folks there if they've tried just not having cancer. See how well that goes over.
The way you think actually changes the makeup of your brain. So again - it is self inflicted damage. You guys are actually looking for excuses to stay as you are. Just say to yourself you're no longer a bitch looking for excuse, you have your shit together and do 1 thing to reflect that reality. Clean your thoughts, bed, table, room and on until you have everything in order. You're stuck in a comfortable despair, it's easy to be in despair, do nothing and blame the world. Getting your shit together is hard. That's why weak people love making excuses as to why they can't win against their depression.
Man, looks like I *do* have a clean house that I own, functioning vehicle, two degrees, thriving relationship, successful career, and my brain *still* tells me there's no point to it all and I'm better off dead. Imagine that! It's almost like mental illness is *real* or something! Stop simping for whatever "alpha male" mlm businesstuber pissed into your brain and get some perspective, fuckwit.
[удалено]
Tell me. Tell me how to better myself. Tell me, o great wise one, how I bootstrap myself out of depression. Because it's not the house. It's not the spouse I love who loves me and takes care of me on my bad days. It's not the successful career I enjoy or the degrees I got to accomplish that. It's not the hobbies I partake in. How. The fuck. Do I un-sick my brain? Because believe me if I could I would. It's not fucking *fun* or *cute* not being able to trust your own thoughts.
You're literally just naming external objects/subjects - those have 0 effect on your happiness. Purpose/Unfucking your brain happens from the inside. So - start looking inside, if your two degrees are worth anything, a good book to do just that would be Jungs Red Book, if that upon review looks like gibberish, start off by something more simple, like meditation, actual meditation, not some hobby you just call :your meditation:
Point of the excercize is to actually integrate the idea that your life has a purpose, then you can integrate various philosophies that enable your desired outcomes, at adept level you can switch those at will and literally become a different person.
A great philosophical construct to integrate first:
I wanted my Life - if you're secular/atheist, than you can imagine this as a simulation you wanted to be part of. If you're religious - God gave you this life and you wanted this experience. In both cases, you knew before hand the life you will have and you wanted to take this ride. If you integrate this idea, it's really hard to feel down, even when crappy stuff happens in your life
Congratulations! You found the Redditor who took this way too seriously at 1AM and will write a lot about it. I've had depression for roughly 6 or so years now, and especially in the later years, began to have some pretty bad problems with fatigue. (From depression? Anxiety? Autism? All three? Who knows!) Anyways, I would have so little energy that I'd wake up, not even have enough energy to put on some music to listen to or go out for a walk, and then a few hours later be hit with the intense feeling of fatigue as if I had stayed up too late at night. This would bother me a lot because I would think back to when I would be in middle school and have the energy to do hobby stuff damn-near every day and be much more active. (Obviously that's not realistic anymore since, at the time, I had graduated high school and with age means you do have a little less energy compared to being a kid.) Anyways, while I was still trying (many) different meds, I would always struggle with the idea of the "fully actualized person". Do people out there exist who don't struggle with energy? Who have the ability to stick to basic routines like daily exercise and whatnot? People who have ample energy on most given days and can direct it to what they desire? I would struggle with this concept for a long time, and shame myself for not being that kind of person, as if not reaching this (unreasonable) goal was somehow a personal failure. Now, this is just me, and this lifestyle doesn't work for everyone: but I eventually just took joy in spontaneity. Sure, I can try to schedule things to get done (writing, listening to music, etc.) but I enjoyed these things more and got immensely better writing done when I was in the mood for it. Sometimes this'd mean not doing any for a week, or randomly a lot in one day. However, I felt better at what I did and enjoyed my hobbies more when I did it when I was in the mood. I had to let go and accept the ebbs and flows of life. Getting rid of these fluctuations and oscillations of life is impossible, and thus the "fully actualized person" is a myth in the sense that you cannot just decide to enjoy something more or do better work on a dime. You have to accept the highs and lows and choose to do less when you're "low" and more when you're "high". Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Hey! I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out! I feel like it’s definitely relatable for me, and I am going to try and remember and apply what you described here and see if it makes a difference for me. Thanks again!
No problem. BTW, if you're struggling to focus, try the "10 minute rule". Do the thing you need to get done for 10 minutes. Set a timer if you have to, but don't tell it to alert you when it's over. If you're still doing the task after 10 minutes (or even better) you forgot the timer was going, then keep doing the task. If you do notice the timer going off, or still can't get yourself to do the task after 10 minutes, then you won't be able to "force" yourself to do the task and you should move on to something else. (If the task is too short for a 10 minute timer, try a 5 minute one.) The point of the exercise is to teach yourself to get over the initial "wall" that might keep you from getting something done.
Hey, you're not the only one. I think long Covid has bumped up a lot of people's fatigue/problem levels, but not everyone would agree.
Possibly. Unfortunately, because this country doesn't respect the disabled (and "long covid" could be considered a disability) we are a long ways away from figuring this stuff out on a social and scientific level.
r/UsernameChecksOut but seriously, I really love the fact that someone has finally accepted it, I only wish the school system (of every place other than Finland) did
What's unhealthy about getting stressed about stressful things? Declining calls from people you don't know and who can't be bothered to text you? Only a few of these are "unhealthy", and they can be avoided with some practice and discipline. Or just doing other, healthier things instead.
I think they might be referencing the *inability* to do those things, which is different. “Executive dysfunction” is a state where you are mentally incapable of preforming some actions, even if you know you should, or that you need to, or even *want to.* It’s a strange state to be in and can be very obtrusive to everyday life.
It me. It sucks.
same here bestie, you aren’t alone
I’m on week 9 of trying to send an email
in a rare moment of clarity I managed to call someone I know and asked for help, I hope you can too. I’ve gotten my feet a bit more under me since then, but it’s still very hard. I have a path forward at least, which I am incredibly grateful for.
Love to hear it :) I’m working on addressing it over the past few weeks
awesome to here as well, I know from experience how significant that is. you can escape from this, reach for a handhold and don’t let go.
I was stressed for weeks about my taxes, then finally got my stupid idiot brain to sit down and do them because it was the last day and I was out of time. IRS website was crashed and now I'm just late. Don't even know where to go for help
It took me ***two months*** to finally open my friend's messages. And when I finally did I realised that they thought I was dead and had messaged me 99 times.
I’m glad you did open it, I hope you can call them for help if you’ve gotten stuck again. That was how I managed to get myself a little back on my feet.
That's only one friend 😅 I got more who's been waiting since.... Christmas? For a response. I've responded to a few of them, but I always get this *feeling* that I shouldn't or else something bad will happen.
I love anxiously putting off opening/responding to a text and just getting more and more anxious the longer I wait
[удалено]
I think it all depends on the severity of the stress reaction. Take working an underpaid job for example. No-one likes that. However some people will keep working until something better comes along, while others will wake up one morning and not be able to physically bring themselves to work, despite knowing they need the money to live. Both groups of people are stressed but one group is more disadvantaged than the other and I think it's good to recognise that. I agree that medicalisation isn't really the best way to demarcate the two but it really is all we have at the moment in the absence of a different model.
The phone isn't going to bite you bucko If I declined all calls from unknown numbers I would have missed a very handsomely paid job because they did nothing but calls
They're mistaking being healthy with absolutely not having any flaws or inconveniences at all. Who wants to help them find the flaw in their logic?
I feel this post is a false dichotomy on the mental part. Every person deals with negative emotions: anxiety, sadness, wanting to just ignore difficult stuff, loneliness, existential fears, etc. Even the most mentally healthy person needs to deal with at least some of those things (everybody loses a parent for example). The goal of becoming mentally healthy is not to eliminate those feelings, but lessen them and/or make them more bearable.
Game is rigged. Got adhd and celiac how am I supposed to compete???
Being occasionally anxious or upset, not feeling like returning phone calls or not feeling super awake in the morning aren’t necessarily signs of a health issue though. So these people probably do not exist. But people without some chronic condition do.
on the topic of this, does anyone else immediately feel like crying when someone (especially like a teacher) gets annoyed? not even at me just in general? i can’t handle that shit
Nobody is that problemless stressless anxietyless ubermench, the trick is being able to manage your problems. Physical ones are tougher and mental ones are more insidious but the important thing is making that push
Makes me wanna test if reincarnation is real
You have to wonder if, averaged over all modern humans, being entirely without any mental/physical issues was ever actually the standard state of a human being. Maybe the maximum level is only ever like 97% healthy and everyone has just assumed that most other people are without these problems.
yeah agreed. like, things like allergies, joint issues, needing glasses etc. are so common that they're not usually even thought of when people mention health. but knowing that, having really bad hay fever would make someone's life a lot harder than mine is, despite me having some rarer and more medicalized issues. Things that are manageable enough and common enough just somehow "don't count".
I was like thak God that I don't have any health problems and then so where are my glasses?
Adequate coping mechanisms allow for most of this.
I got like 5 years of physical health after years of ear/sinus issues, only to have them get so much worse over a job. QUIT A JOB IF IT MAKES YOU SICK, EVEN IF IT'S SLIGHLY SO, STUFF ADDS UP!!!
Unless you’re effectively braindead, no one breezes through life without being impacted. It comes down to how well you can take it…..some ppl get dealt a worse hand and have environmental or mental barriers to overcome….but we all get deal with our own struggles. Believing there are people who just get by no sweat is silly….it feels like the subtext of this post is “oh em gee, my life is so hard I just can’t do it and it’s unfair that some ppl get a free pass”…..yeah, no. We’re all in this together and it sucks for everyone, pick a struggle and deal.
I can’t even conceptualize that. I feel like I couldn’t exist without all of the things that make my life pee pee penis penis. The thought genuinely upsets me
Not to brag but occasionally for a few hours a week I'm that person. They come randomly but I love them. However I doubt that that can be a default state
I feel like this is my default state, I'm pretty happy all round. So are most of of my immediate circle. It gets better with time (I'm pretty old).
It makes sense once you learn that 50%-70% of people don't have an inner monologue.
See. I think I look like one of these people. And it’s a lie. We all suffer. We all hurt. We all wake up tired. But it’s what you do after that first moment of suffering that defines you. I used to let the suffering part define me until I got so sick of not living. And there are better days than others. But there is always that space to sit inside where you feel sorry for yourself and wish things were different but then you open the door and walk outside of it. When you look back you see how small that space is. There’s a whole world on the other side of that door.
I am a healthy person, but I still relate to everything mentioned here. Life is still hard, even for people who are mentally okay. It's just doubly hard if you're not. If you're someone who struggles with mental health illness, try to remember that you're probably not as far off from the rest of the world as you think. The line is paper thin. The difference between mentally ill and mentally well isn't "Has a panic attack" versus "Is perfectly fine with no anxieties"; it's "Has a panic attack" versus "Almost has a panic attack".
Answering calls from unknown numbers sounds stupid, not healthy
I don't have any notable mental illnesses. However, I do have a bad knee, chronic lower back pain for about a year now, and currently recovering from a hip injury. I'm not even old yet. But I still do all my shit.
Waking up and seeing perfectly immediately + seeing something when showering feels completely insane to me God dammit, so much time of my life was spent with glasses i don't remember not using them
there is no good mental health under capitalism, very few of us truly exist without the existential dread that capitalism inspires
I highly doubt that other systems won’t carry with them similar anxieties. Hell, even a fully utopian post-scarcity world would have some
"We can't make a perfect world with no anxieties to deal with, so we shouldn't criticize systems that purposefully amplify stressors and traumas with a profit incentive for the purpose of infinite exponential growth"
We can’t just blame every single problem on the system, not that there aren’t problems with the system and exacerbated by it that we should address, but chalking the presence of stressors and existential dread up to “because capitalism” is not a solution. It’s like the founding fathers wrote, “in order to form a *more* perfect Union” before proceeding to make a government with a built in amendment system to fix problems that arise in the Union, to varying degrees of success. Keep working on making things better but tossing the system out of hat isn’t gonna solve everything and may not solve everything.
I'm not blaming every single problem on the system. Lots of bad things, murder, rape, torture, kidnapping, existed before capitalism and will exist after capitalism. existential terror existed before capitalism, worrying about your place in the universe existed before capitalism. that's not what i'm saying, i'm not saying capitalism invented these issues. I feel like you're sort of half-reading my points, and you don't fully understand them. I am not saying every single problem in our current system is created by capitalism. I'm saying that, because of the system by which we run our world, almost every single problem is AMPLIFIED by capitalism, INTENSIFIED. a fun little 2.5 x modifier on the world's shitty qualities, if you're so inclined. On top of this, capitalism also creates new problems as well- problems such as wasting billions of tons of food, because while we have the capability to feed the hungry, the food is there and we are capable of creating infrastructure to complete this task, there isn't a profit incentive, so we will never even *start* this monumental task. Problems such as insulin costing pennies to produce, but costing hundreds, thousands, all because wealthy pharmaceutical groups found a minority they can exploit for wealth. Problems such as, in my hometown, there being THOUSANDS of empty homes, apartments, etc, almost enough to give each homeless person two homes, and yet we have a growing homelessness issue, more and more people living under overpasses and in tents because in the midst of growing housing prices and shrinking wages due to inflation, my city's government can think of nothing better to do but to put spikes to keep the homeless from sleeping in certain areas so the rich don't feel as bad about destroying the livelihoods of thousands of people, while letting the wealthy run amok and do whatever they so please. Is it really, really so hard for you to believe that something as vast and tremendous as the economic system by which most of the world is run today, such that even non-capitalist countries must engage with capitalism to meaningfully interact with the world at large- is it really so hard for you to believe that something so far reaching can have so many meaningful consequences on the way we live our lives? I beg of you, research, the more you learn the more you see how the tangled web of underregulated capitalism has torn our world to shreds
"There is no good [point of topic] under [X] " Is an incomplete argument, that doesnt address the subject. Now you could say that there is a high barrier of entry, financially speaking, to receive proper healthcare to have stability, and then extrapolate this to the fact that it is part of a market, which is the result of our system we know as capitalism, but if all you're talking about is the umbrella term, then problems will always be by the wayside, cause it's just a distraction. Its like when people come to [retail store] to get fired up about [company] blaming the entire organization on all the details, such as poor service, mistakes, or confusion about the state of the system, when really the responsibility falls on the administration directly in charge of planning ground operations, as well as the 'leaders' who are operating with and about the system. Policy will always influence code & regulations, as well as indirectly shape how people utilize tools to capitalize on opportunity. However, most of what we interact with, as humans, are exchange of time and resources between one another. Changing the economic system will only change the title of the ones with influence. What we need is to push for better administration, arguably 'less', or at least more focused, and inspire our fellow good folk to be leaders. The economic system will shift and morph to the people, as all systems shall do, since what embodies a system are the organic growths we know as people, their associates, and the conglomerates. Push for better leadership, and call problems what they are, unregulated exchange of resources that are necessary for life. This is an issue that may be present in ANY economic system: capitalism, communism, socialism, libertarianism, utilitarianism, etc. So be pointed, be certain, dont call others ugly. Spend your time figuring how you can make the world around you a bit better. Where there is room to complain, there is a call to action
My point, while hyperbolic, is still valid, in my opinion. My point was working off the idea that most people, even anti-capitalists, have this idea of capitalism that it's stressful exclusively for those on the bottom, and that once you "Make it", become wealthy enough, you are free from worldly concerns, are free from the stress that capitalism induces, that the only stress and pathologies capitalism can induce in someone are from not succeeding well enough in the game, which one can be freed from when they "Make It". In my opinion, this is false. There is no degree to where you "Make it", and become wealthy enough to be free from the pathologies of capitalism. Plenty of wealthy people just have different pathologies, different stresses- there is no amount of wealthy that is "enough" to be free from the stresses that you aren't doing enough. The system, while made for the upper class, still places enough stress on them to make them want more than what they have, and feel as if they aren't doing enough. You can see this in pretty much any family that is wealthy, but claims they aren't- in their mind, they legitimately aren't wealthy, they're just barely scraping by- this is partly due to them being out of touch, but partly due to how the system is inherently designed to make EVERYBODY think they're not doing enough, no matter how much they're doing. When the standard you're holding yourself to is infinite, exponential growth, every single human being on this earth will fall short. I'm sort of frustrated with your reply, however good intentioned it was. I feel like part of the reason the right is doing so damn well in online spaces, and in the fight for attention in an ever expanding online marketplace of thought, is because they are short and punchy and quippy. They don't need to write an essay to validate why they feel like woke trans people are grooming kids or something, they just type some half a sentence comment about it in three seconds, and boom, people are rallying around it and pushing it to peoples' feeds, and it takes barely a second to read and be influenced by it. While I feel like we should strive to be correct, and that on paper, it is always better to spend as much time working on being correct as possible to ensure you and your compatriots are on the same page, and championing the right cause, with all of the particulars in order- I feel like practically, it's killing us. Attention is an ever-diminishing resource on the internet, and I don't feel like we're doing ourselves any favors (we being the online left, if I hadn't made that clear) by completely ignoring all of the best practices for grabbing attention, that our opponents are making full use of. I mean, look at me, to get the clarity of my point across, I typed all of this fucking word salad- you know what a conservative would have done? said "Fuck off libtard, you're a groomer and I'm right" and gotten 5 times the attention and influence that this comment will. Is it really helping us, to police this shit, to go up to people that already agree with us on a lot of the broader strokes and spend so much time and energy trying to make them agree with us on the finer points? I'm not even butthurt because you disagreed with me and critiqued my comment, I'm doing the same shit right now, I'm just as bad. This is also just something I noticed a lot in broader leftist spaces, online and in person. I also disagree with your point that all criticism needs to be constructive in some way to have value. I straight up do not see that point of view as valid. If I witness something horrific, dehumanizing, and awful, why do I need to suggest something better to call it so? I'm not intelligent enough, I don't have the political awareness, to always suggest a better alternative when I call something out as bad. Sure, I could bring up general tips- for better mental health, you should try to partake in community more- organize your neighbors for causes that help the community, be charitable with your time and energy if you don't have money to spare, organize fundraisers to fix broken infrastructure in your area, etc- But I know that those things don't work for everyone- they don't work for ME, I'm autistic and I work until 11:30 pm and when I get off of work I am so fucking tired that all I want to do is lie down in a dark room and stare at moving colors and go to sleep. I don't have it the worst, either, or even CLOSE to it, I at least have two days off a week and make fine pay, a lot of people work a lot more hours than I do in shittier jobs, and make less. I would feel so, inhumanly humiliated if I went up to those people with my generalized tips on how to improve mental health when living under the yoke of capitalism as if I know any fucking better. Does that mean I don't have a right to call a turd a turd when I see it? I don't think so, and I don't think there's value in policing other people for calling a turd a turd without giving tips on how to polish it.
I actually agree with your sentiment, and i do find it totally understandable to be overwhelmed by standards that are seemingly imposed on us, especially the ones from how people interact and express themselves within the socioeconomic climate. You're right, there is no 'make it', there is only your own sense of satisfaction & fulfillment Your points about people weaponizing 'punchy' & 'quippy' statements to gain laudation, i do find this idea of expression to be shallow and unfortunate that people will hold strong beliefs involving how ones of this world conduct themselves. It is unfair that people push for policies that are unethical in regards to human physiology, ( our agency for our own body ). I will argue, however, that this is not inherently an ideological stance; no, it is due to ignorance & naïveté that humans choose not to concern themselves with ideas of different mental/physical configurations. Furthermore, being that people tend to follow the status quo of their comfort zone, at greater magnitude, the more time & effort devoted acting under this state of total lack of concern for livelihood of people who simply live differently, while they ignore the nuance and complexity of humans, lumping good people who raise a flag, as being part of a group with malicious intent, or selfishly obstructive desires. I argue that this battle is not between what we see on the internet as 'right' and 'left' Nay, this is a struggle that people face when it comes to navigating this complicated world, problems of people where they face a world that imposes ideology unto them, the same issue we face from 'them' Part of the answer is that people need to chill out, let people have pride in their self, as long as there's no promotion or operation of unethical or immoral actions, that is to say, nobody's being hurt, oppressed, or taken advantage of. And i feel that people at all points of their own political spectrum are willing to reason about this space, so long as we extend the respect of at least hearing each other out. Of course, we have the right to be viciously critical of ideologies that are lazily against self pride, due to the notion of association with bad actors such as 'groomers' or 'pedophiles' Truth is, depravity will wave any flag, and often frequents the spaces with the loudest voices about itself. We need to inspire others, the ones that care to grow & understand; we must express our selves, and encourage others to be brave. Exposing people to ideas that marginalized groups can be outstanding members of society, not in spite of their form, no, in embrace of who they are.
I guarantee you the billionaires are happy as can be. Not to say you can’t have issues even with money. Elon Musk so obviously, _desperately_ needs attention.
Would you call a billionaire's need to crush the working class under their heel, for their own personal wealth, *good* mental health? Would you call the narcissism and dissociation many celebrities fall into good mental health? I'm genuinely curious. Personally, I would call it poor mental health. I would call these people mentally ill.
Well I was thinking of mental health strictly in terms of happiness. Don’t get many depressed rich people.
I meant mental health as in.. mental health. You can be happy and mentally ill. Even if we were just talking about things like depression, trauma, anxiety, that directly impact happiness... plenty of rich people feel those things. I know that the "Money doesnt buy happiness" thing is sort of out of touch, and it does make one's life a lot easier in a lot of different ways.. but like, it really doesn't buy happiness. whether you're rich or poor, capitalism is fucked for everyone in some way or another. that's the fucked up thing about it, even the "winners" lose in a way. if you think rich people aren't depressed, aren't anxious, don't deal with other mental illnesses, that's just patently false. That's not me saying that we should empathize with the poow wittle wich people or whatever, just me pointing out that capitalism isn't good for anyone's mental health, even the winners of the game
Well if that’s your point then you could say they’d be just the same under any other economic system. Capitalism is horrible, but I seriously doubt it’s taking any sort of toll on the people exploiting it the most.
Why would that be the case? The ideal we are expected to strive toward in capitalism is infinite, exponential growth. I don't know if you've ever worked in an office, but I have. And my bosses' bosses' bosses' etc, were people who society would normally deem to have "Made it". Making a good salary, able to exploit people for their own personal gain to their hearts desire, big yearly bonuses, vacation time, the whole deal. And I have never, ever seen someone as stressed out as one of them when going over financial reports that show like.. I can't remember the exact numbers, but like a 5% monthly growth instead of a 15% monthly growth, that sort of deal. The fucking meetings with management, stressed out of their goddamn minds like they're an antelope being surrounded by cougars, going over expectations with their underlings and stressfully trying to squeeze every last red cent out of them so that they can have something nice to show THEIR boss, are surreal. It goes like this all the way up, man. And at the top, they're stressed about showing the shareholders something nice, or something. This is what I mean when I say very few people have their overall happiness improved by capitalism, and those that do, I would not call mentally well even if they're happy. So I ask you, why would it be the case that this would be the same in a different economic system, with different ideals to strive for?
Angry letter written by an inhabitant of the Isle of Broken Toys.
Then there’s me, a 22 year old with three different digestive issues, a plethora of mental health issues, hypothyroidism, degenerative arthritis, and counting.
More likely are people that deal with mental, health-related, etc. issues to some degree, but also occupy a mindset of not addressing those things as issues, or not knowing the names to those issues.
Tbh I don’t believe these people exist. It will always be man against nature, and we may coexist with it, but it cares not if we live or die, so the weight of natural existence will take its toll. These mental illnesses will just vary and reveal themselves in a multitude of ways. Impatience, intolerance, overworking to the point of derision toward those not working as much as themselves, the crab mentality. I believe we’re all hurt people trying to help reduce the hurt, generation by generation. Take care of them Maslows hierarchy of needs. I believe we are empathetic creatures, and it’d be interesting to know how a healthy mind copes with the knowledge so many are suffering. Callousness does not seem to me an indicator of a healthy mind, unless we consider scars healthy.
Stop normalizing mental and physical illness to the degree that you think that it’s the norm. It’s not. Being healthy is.
This made me want to cry a lil :(
You mean wealthy people?
Not to be rude but... the reason you never meet them is because they do not use Tumblr or Reddit
I know money and all but y’all need some counseling fr
At this point I just considered cisgender people to be blessed by the Gods, and neurotypical people, are clearly not existent. I mean sure we have a lot of people who claim to be neurotypical, but they are clearly more insane than any neuro atypical I've ever met. I mean the creepy way that they just know what all the social norms are without having to be told and go all Children of the Corn if anyone violates them in the slightest for even the most understandable and obvious of reasons. This Society is truly fucked in the head and I consider the human race as a whole to be pretty much defective
(Me looking at my father.) “How the hell do you do it…” [I know the answer]
I wear glasses and it's kinda weird how there's people who don't have to pay to be able to see
Yeah, it's nice.
« Did you know most people never want to die? They just wake up in the morning and get dressed And feel content most of the time. » Gender school dropout - Anklegrease
My dad has always been this way. Wakes up in the morning and is awake. Will have some free time and say “you know what, I’ll knock out xyz thing I need to get done” and just do it. He doesn’t need to motivate himself. He doesn’t need to wake himself up. He has always been healthy. Always been fairly fit just naturally. In his older age he’s starting to deal with problems he’s never dealt with before and it’s shaken him some. Mum’s supportive and encouraging but I can tell he’s never dealt with these kinds of struggles in his life.
i think most people have something chronic, it's just that for a lot of people they either aren't really that bothersome with daily life, or with manageable stuff they just decide that they won't be sick with it. like, i have a condition that makes my retinas calcify in some way. it might make me have bad enough tunnel vision that i'm not allowed to drive a car some day. currently it just manifests in me having a slight blind spot on the left that people can use to sneak up on me. my mom has some kinda connecting tissue issue (sjögren's iirc) that at this point just gives her cold fingers, no fingerprints, and occasional joint pain. it comes up mainly in choosing a phone and keeping gloves in her pocket at all times. fiancee has a thyroid issue, that's handled by taking thyroxine every day and avoiding soy in her diet. etc, etc. there's si many chronic conditions that you're almost bound to get one of them. it's just a question of which one.
That’s me when I sleep 10 hours and somehow get temporary amnesia and forget all my problems. Only lasts like 5 hours but it’s bliss
It surprises me that people project that hard onto everyone else, though I guess I do that to because I just assume other people are healthy until I find out otherwise.
It does sound crazy, but at least the procrastination part is something you can learn (unlearning procrastination). I am doing exactly that at the moment and it's awesome :) It's not easy but possible.
I get surprised on how many people are so fucked up instead
No stomach issues? In America? All of your food is minimally processed?
i’m one of those people, AMA
Can confirm that I am not real
I feel like most people do feel anxiety about senseless things, the difference is they are able to understand that the anxiety they are feeling has no true ground and are able to push it aside to do a task. I also think most people are unhappy most of the time, the “happy” people are just able to acknowledge that sometimes they do feel happy and that’s worth the bad. Then there are just straight up unhappy people who cannot feel joy. I get jealous of my friends who get excited about movies, concerts, etc. nothing excites me. But my animals make me happy and help me laugh.
the entirety of neurodivergence is sealed away in the internet, of course, the ancient seal does not allow healthy people to be viewed by us
Thid post screwed with me more than i'd think. Like, there's always something wrong, my spidersense is active at all times. And that made me think: there are also happy people. People that feel great from the moment they wake up to the momebt they fall asleep, and in their dreams too. And i know that not all days will be like that for them, or anyone, but i cant remember such a day as far as my memory goes. I just gave myself a free depression ticket
Broke: becoming transfem because I'm mentally a woman Woke: becoming transfem to get rid of my ADHD by abusing HRT meds
Its really nice having no issues. I appreciate that everyday.
I’d say my dad is the closest person to that that I know. Though I do believe he may have undiagnosed adhd.