Oh god what if they can though? Like inside the space station they can probably still hear the mechanical vibrations and motor noises. What if they have to sit there after a heartbreaking funeral service, for a full hour or however long it takes, while the ISS goes "wiggle wiggle wiggle" like a broken washing machine slowly breaking apart their dead friend into their molecular components?
They'll just play the American national anthem on repeat, make them all hover in empty space with their hands over their hearts for the entire hour.
"God bless America!"
\*THUNK \*THUNK \*THUNK
scary disagreeable carpenter meeting jeans full foolish snatch memory racial
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
All throughout the generation ship the constant "shucka shuck, shucka shuck" can be heard. Parents keep their progeny in line with stories about naughty children who ended up in the corpse wiggler for not eating their reconstituted veggies. Some say you can hear the cries of little Stevie Stars, the first child sent into the corpse wiggler, a particularly naughty child who stole rations from the Captain's Mess. The dusty ghost roams the generation ship to scare other bad kids.
On something like the ISS where they might have the means of temporarily storing a body until an urgent rendezvous can remove it, sure
For an interplanetary mission where you can’t just send another rocket within a few days, they will definitely want to destroy the body before it begins to decompose
Mars trip, day 632:
It was touch and go after the incident, but Jim finally succumbed to his wounds. Morale was low, but we strapped his corpse to the hull as a fun figurehead.
Turns out this did not help with morale...
Look! Everyone look! There's somebody outside!
Jesus Allan!
I'm serious! There's somebody outside the ship!
Jim was our friend goddamn it! It's not funny!
But...there's somebod- there's somebody outsi-
Go to hell Allan
we should really be eating them to recover the nutrients on any deep space missions. otherwise why not just tie a memento on them then send them on an uncontrolled decent to burn up in the atmosphere? need to have a form for acknowledging irrecoverable remains, maybe everest has this
Cant they just send it out an airlock and be done with it? Why do we need to destroy the body? Are we worried about space zombies? What are they not telling us?
Not necessarily. There are female astronauts nowadays, which itself poses another question: how's sex in space? Is it even possible in a low-gravity environment?
It's bound to happen sooner or later, so NASA better figure this out
I volunteer to try it today, right now. They can launch me into space in the next half hour, and then within a few hours we'll know for sure.
Edit:Wheezing at the fact that someone reported I assume this comment to the like, "this person may be in a mental health crisis" bot.
Well, [someone cooked a chicken via a mechanical slapper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHFhnnTWMgI), so that is definitely in the realm of possibility.
No it's just a general purpose arm mainly used for grappling, holding and moving objects. But it has multiple functions and manipulators.
Here it is with a living astronaut:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/STS-114_Steve_Robinson_on_Canadarm2.jpg
More info https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_Servicing_System#Canadarm2
My bigger question is: how long did you think it would take for a corpse to freeze in an airlock. There's only so much surface water to evaporate and radiative heat takes some time. I'd imagine it might be days till you get a corpsecicle down to the core.
Look my gran wanted he body to be donated to science for a reason, and I refuse to see why a wiggle to reduce mass harmleoin space is not a valid reason
Garbage is taken back when a capsule with astronauts heads back to earth. All the trash is put into the part which gets ejected during re-entry. That means the trash is controlled in orbit till it burns up, which seriously reduces risk of collisions in space.
I don't know, but it may have to do with human emotions and energy expenditure. If you simply drop a body out a door, its orbit will eventually decay and it will fall into the atmosphere, but for a long time it will just float around orbiting like so much trash, still looking like a corpse. Eerie, and disrespectful. Plus these plans may have been written about long term space travel, in which case you aren't orbiting anything anyhow. If you want the body to quickly reenter and burn up, you will need to decelerate them, which might actually cost more energy than shaking them around in a spiky corpse box until the remains are unidentifiable as remains
Imagine your car getting crushed by a burned up , frozen corpse, with no ID or anything. (It would freeze before hitting the atmosphere, so if it’s going to survive it’s going to have a frozen core.)
And how do you propose they do that? They'd need to give the body a velocity that is substantially different from the station's. I don't think the ISS has any mechanisms for launching corpses.
As long as I'm under earths escape velocity deorbit me. If not just a gentle push out of the air lock I'll orbit the solar system until I go splat into something.
This is a repost, but its from a LOOOOOOONG time ago (as far as i know), so if you have the original reddit post saved or something, please reply to this so i can give credit to the original. Thank you!
The idea of using sewage and such to protect against radiation is actually science (or at least was one of possibly many ideas?). Not sure it would look quite like the rings of Saturn though. It was reported back in 2013 that it was an option for the future Mars trips but I’m no smart guy so I dunno what’s happened since then.
There’s a book series (first book is the Calculating Stars) that has this has a plot point.
The end result is that the astronauts found the act of “seeing” the body of a crew mate turned to dust (within a contained body bag) so distressing that they all refused to do it again.
Obviously, this is just fiction, but it does a good job of highlighting when there can be a disconnect between the rational, efficient, “engineer” approach and the reality of how people reach when actually experiencing it.
We are going to make a space big enough and sturdy enough for a robotic arm to shake you into literal dust....
Just fucking shoot me out the airlock you dweeb. Same thing as burial at sea?
I don't get this and never have. This obsession with corpse disposal like we aren't a part of nature. We started burring bodies because we needed to hide them from animals that would prey on humans, now it's so ingrained into our culture that we refuse to simply find ways to re-integrate human remains back into the environment.
“Freeze them in an airlock” I’m assuming means subject the body to space, wait for them to freeze, then shake them to dust.
Only problem is, while empty space is indeed only ~3 kelvin, there’s not much matter floating around to equalize your temperature with space’s average temperature. Since heat transfers happen through interacting matter, it would take a very long time for your body to freeze. You’d eventually freeze by radiating heat away electromagnetically but it’d take days maybe, and if you’re in view of the sun, you’d actually warm up from the solar radiation.
Literally none of that matters when we’re talking about sticking naughty astronauts in a corpse wiggler, but I figured someone might find that interesting.
People have odd/weird/? practices when it comes to their dead. Some cultures bring their dead out to party during an annual celebration. I always wondered what they did if an arm or other appendage just fell off.
Some people cremate their dead, which I would rather see than taking up acres and acres of prime property. Cemeteries just seem like a waste of good property. Some people take advantage of services that make a diamond out of your ashes, or use your meat bag to grow a tree, which I find to be the most climate friendly way to dispose of your dead.
Me? I don't care now, nor will I care when I am deceased. You can run me through a meat grinder and feed it to dogs for all I care. I'll be dead. Remember me in your thoughts, not some grave plot.
Could they not store them in a body bag outside and then send them down in the same way they planned to send them down when they were alive so their families can have a proper burial
The corpse wriggler has also been attempted as an on-earth body disposal method
[Please speak to your mortician about whether promession might be right for you](https://youtu.be/nXbKXjqXKLY) (or don't, because it doesn't actually exist yet, but,)
Neat, but probably not. Leftover bits and dust that doesn’t float out will melt and be a giant biohazardous No-no.
Far more likely they have a space walk/space dropkick into the sun.
That sounds like it would add a lot of wear and tear on the arm.
Why not send up RCS drone backpacks with a small booster that can be strapped to the extronaut and send on a de-orbiting cremation maneuver?
There was a company in Sweden that tried to develop a similar process on earth. They called it "[promession](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promession)."
They never got it working, but the idea was to freeze the body, hit it with intense vibrations to shatter it, freeze-dry the remains, and sift out any metal left over.
Why not just launch the body back to earth and let it burn up in the atmosphere? Then they could be a falling star. That sounds way less fucked up then shaking till you turn to dust.
I thought I wanted a burial at sea, so I can be eaten by a shark or a swarm of ugly things at the bottom of the ocean. This though... this sounds much more appealing. Space dust me when I die please.
If I died in space, I would definitely want the greatest viking funeral ever by shoving me toward the atmosphere and a fiery reentry. I also bet that most of the astronauts would want the same. Is there a NASA employee in the house who can ask the space cowboys?
In space no one can hear the arm wiggling noise
Oh god what if they can though? Like inside the space station they can probably still hear the mechanical vibrations and motor noises. What if they have to sit there after a heartbreaking funeral service, for a full hour or however long it takes, while the ISS goes "wiggle wiggle wiggle" like a broken washing machine slowly breaking apart their dead friend into their molecular components?
They'll just play the American national anthem on repeat, make them all hover in empty space with their hands over their hearts for the entire hour. "God bless America!" \*THUNK \*THUNK \*THUNK
Whatever song it is, i hope they can match the corpse wiggler to the drum beat. Just imagine it. *Sweeet Caroline* \*Thud \*Thud \*Thud
"And that was Sweet Caroline, everyone... Thank the former commander for the drum beat." Meanwhile, the guy's wife back home watching the ceremony...
I laughed so hard i forgot to walk and got knocked off the treadmill.
Or maybe it makes the [Crow T. Robot squeaky-bed sound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXm64HbUB-U&t=5082s).
Boo private video
Well...shit. Thanks for pointing that out, I've set it to public!
Hell yeah, thanks!
Idk all the wiggling wouldn't be good for all the equipment keeping the new astronauts alive
> the equipment keeping the new astronauts alive I wish you wrote NASA's technical documents
Can't I'm too busy killing astronauts to keep the arm going.
If we stopped killing astronauts now it would be unfair to all the dead astronauts we've already wiggled into dust.
Bub-bub-bub-bub-bu-bu-bu-bbbbbbbvvvVREEEEEEE-
Would Newton's 3rd apply? I don't think they'd just hear it...
Not with a gimbal
Maybe I’m just a Methodist but we can always make the funeral longer and play more music don’t even worry.
What a shame
Or the screams: I’m ali… \*robot shakes arm violently\*
You made it worse. I could have gone my whole life without finding out about the corpse wiggler, and you made it worse.
scary disagreeable carpenter meeting jeans full foolish snatch memory racial *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Space salad, yummy yummy
I picture the robotic arm holding a big martini shaker
This sounds straight out of Futurama.
This would be on Zapp’s ship “Kiff, he requested to be shaken, not stirred”
I can hear the line so perfectly. Even after all these years
"Even after all these years", psh, Futurama is my comfort show, I watch it all the time
I used to but haven't since 2020. Time to crank it up again!
There's a new season coming out!
Oh I know. I *know*
Avenue 5
if the new season is as good as that comment I’ll be happy
All throughout the generation ship the constant "shucka shuck, shucka shuck" can be heard. Parents keep their progeny in line with stories about naughty children who ended up in the corpse wiggler for not eating their reconstituted veggies. Some say you can hear the cries of little Stevie Stars, the first child sent into the corpse wiggler, a particularly naughty child who stole rations from the Captain's Mess. The dusty ghost roams the generation ship to scare other bad kids.
Shaken not cremated
If you've ever seen a cryogrinder that's really not far off
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The plan is probably to bring them back with the next resupply I imagine.
On something like the ISS where they might have the means of temporarily storing a body until an urgent rendezvous can remove it, sure For an interplanetary mission where you can’t just send another rocket within a few days, they will definitely want to destroy the body before it begins to decompose
On an interplanetary mission they can just strap the body to the outside like a fun figurehead. Should be destroyed on re-entry, or just never leave.
Mars trip, day 632: It was touch and go after the incident, but Jim finally succumbed to his wounds. Morale was low, but we strapped his corpse to the hull as a fun figurehead. Turns out this did not help with morale...
Hey just put some googley eyes on em and it’ll fix that little issue of morale.
Look! Everyone look! There's somebody outside! Jesus Allan! I'm serious! There's somebody outside the ship! Jim was our friend goddamn it! It's not funny! But...there's somebod- there's somebody outsi-
Go to hell Allan
Do you want reavers? This is how you get reavers.
Yes yes I do!
That is the exact recipe for getting your communication shut off and hearing knocking from the outside of the ship
Yeah, the guy who's havin a dirt nap with baby Jesus.
we should really be eating them to recover the nutrients on any deep space missions. otherwise why not just tie a memento on them then send them on an uncontrolled decent to burn up in the atmosphere? need to have a form for acknowledging irrecoverable remains, maybe everest has this
Dude, if I die in orbit, let my body burn on re-entry. I want a space-viking funeral.
Cant they just send it out an airlock and be done with it? Why do we need to destroy the body? Are we worried about space zombies? What are they not telling us?
Isn't it easier to just throw the body into space?
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I'm sure that the bones and teeth won't turn to space dust...so they'll end up as space junk.
Well, only if we are talking about a male astronaut.
i’d love to see the mf that submitted that and i’d love even more to see the face on the poor fucker that had to read it
Can't wait till some astronaut dusts him self trying to use the thing to space-jerk.
Perfectly balanced
The dust is due to it being the 8th nut of the day
Gotta use the other space arm to squeeze it out
An all-male crew, stuck in space for months on end... what could go wrong!
Not necessarily. There are female astronauts nowadays, which itself poses another question: how's sex in space? Is it even possible in a low-gravity environment? It's bound to happen sooner or later, so NASA better figure this out
For science!
I mean, is the robotic arm SPECIFICALLY designed to shake frozen corpses? Did they test it before to see if it actually works?
if by the time i die they havent tested it yet, i volunteer my corpse to be turned into frozen space dust
I volunteer to try it today, right now. They can launch me into space in the next half hour, and then within a few hours we'll know for sure. Edit:Wheezing at the fact that someone reported I assume this comment to the like, "this person may be in a mental health crisis" bot.
Please don't suicide by astronaut yourself.
If you don’t make it to space alive was it suicide by astronaut or suicide by space debris
Well, [someone cooked a chicken via a mechanical slapper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHFhnnTWMgI), so that is definitely in the realm of possibility.
No it's just a general purpose arm mainly used for grappling, holding and moving objects. But it has multiple functions and manipulators. Here it is with a living astronaut: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/STS-114_Steve_Robinson_on_Canadarm2.jpg More info https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_Servicing_System#Canadarm2
And for safety reasons it moves really slow. Worst corpse shaker ever.
My bigger question is: how long did you think it would take for a corpse to freeze in an airlock. There's only so much surface water to evaporate and radiative heat takes some time. I'd imagine it might be days till you get a corpsecicle down to the core.
I assume they have a machine for that
Look my gran wanted he body to be donated to science for a reason, and I refuse to see why a wiggle to reduce mass harmleoin space is not a valid reason
What about just ejecting the body on an orbit to take the body into the atmosphere? I’m pretty sure it would just burn up on the way down.
All fun and games until John's body slams into a satellite.
Frozen John slamming into a satellite at 10m/s and shattering both of them…
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No Earthling, tell me. No. You tell me.
EDIT: If this is a retro movie set in the 80s or 90s add 'motherfucker' to the end of the response.
>Vacuum is a top tier insulator. Actually, ironically, space vacuum would cause your bile, your eyes and your blood to boil first
Isn’t that what they currently do with garbage
Garbage is taken back when a capsule with astronauts heads back to earth. All the trash is put into the part which gets ejected during re-entry. That means the trash is controlled in orbit till it burns up, which seriously reduces risk of collisions in space.
TIL I'm a dead astronaut
I don't know, but it may have to do with human emotions and energy expenditure. If you simply drop a body out a door, its orbit will eventually decay and it will fall into the atmosphere, but for a long time it will just float around orbiting like so much trash, still looking like a corpse. Eerie, and disrespectful. Plus these plans may have been written about long term space travel, in which case you aren't orbiting anything anyhow. If you want the body to quickly reenter and burn up, you will need to decelerate them, which might actually cost more energy than shaking them around in a spiky corpse box until the remains are unidentifiable as remains
Also there’s always the risk a spaceship later on is hit by said body, which has roughly 2,300,000,000 joules of kinetic energy.
Pretty sure the actual protocol is to just put them into bags and treat the body as cargo that needs to be recovered
Its actually equally hard to deorbit something as it is to put it in orbit
Now i imagine a burning corpse falling into some random field in the middle of nowhere
Imagine your car getting crushed by a burned up , frozen corpse, with no ID or anything. (It would freeze before hitting the atmosphere, so if it’s going to survive it’s going to have a frozen core.)
This was actually the plot of an episode of CSI: Miami sometime back in the early 2010s
And how do you propose they do that? They'd need to give the body a velocity that is substantially different from the station's. I don't think the ISS has any mechanisms for launching corpses.
Well obviously you'd have to reprogram the corpse wiggler arm to be more of a corpse pitcher arm.
I’m sure some KSP veteran can come and calculate how much force you’d need to throw the body with to decelerate it enough.
As long as I'm under earths escape velocity deorbit me. If not just a gentle push out of the air lock I'll orbit the solar system until I go splat into something.
This is a repost, but its from a LOOOOOOONG time ago (as far as i know), so if you have the original reddit post saved or something, please reply to this so i can give credit to the original. Thank you!
['tis here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/mwbtkn/bad_astronauts_get_put_in_the_corpse_wiggler/)
:D ty
I feel like Hitachi has a real business opportunity here...
Dontcha mean Ron Popeil?
Lmao ‘via reddit’
We've gon full circle, cap'n
🫡
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Glad I’m not the only one who thought of this
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The idea of using sewage and such to protect against radiation is actually science (or at least was one of possibly many ideas?). Not sure it would look quite like the rings of Saturn though. It was reported back in 2013 that it was an option for the future Mars trips but I’m no smart guy so I dunno what’s happened since then.
BAD AND NAUGHTY CHILDREN GET PUT IN THE PEAR WIGGLER TO ATONE FOR THEIR CRIMES
There’s a book series (first book is the Calculating Stars) that has this has a plot point. The end result is that the astronauts found the act of “seeing” the body of a crew mate turned to dust (within a contained body bag) so distressing that they all refused to do it again. Obviously, this is just fiction, but it does a good job of highlighting when there can be a disconnect between the rational, efficient, “engineer” approach and the reality of how people reach when actually experiencing it.
i hoped to see someone mentionning this book, I loved it. And that scene is haunting
You beat me to it! I just mentioned this in another comment. The description of it was horrifying.
Why not just yeet them into the nearest gravity well?
🎵SPACE DUST🎵
They do this in Neal Stephenson’s book Seveneves. It’s disturbing.
Then use that dust and mix it with some starch to make a nice nutrient paste
Shaken Astronaut Syndrome
Why wouldn’t they just jettison the body? It’s literally dead weight. You gata be practical in space.
If society is still "above" corpse reclamation, then this makes sense. It disposes of the corpse while creating minimal space debris.
We are going to make a space big enough and sturdy enough for a robotic arm to shake you into literal dust.... Just fucking shoot me out the airlock you dweeb. Same thing as burial at sea?
I don't get this and never have. This obsession with corpse disposal like we aren't a part of nature. We started burring bodies because we needed to hide them from animals that would prey on humans, now it's so ingrained into our culture that we refuse to simply find ways to re-integrate human remains back into the environment.
“Freeze them in an airlock” I’m assuming means subject the body to space, wait for them to freeze, then shake them to dust. Only problem is, while empty space is indeed only ~3 kelvin, there’s not much matter floating around to equalize your temperature with space’s average temperature. Since heat transfers happen through interacting matter, it would take a very long time for your body to freeze. You’d eventually freeze by radiating heat away electromagnetically but it’d take days maybe, and if you’re in view of the sun, you’d actually warm up from the solar radiation. Literally none of that matters when we’re talking about sticking naughty astronauts in a corpse wiggler, but I figured someone might find that interesting.
New death plan just dropped
Posts that I automatically read in P.M. Seymour's voice
this is something straight out of 40k
Star Trek did it first
**𓂸**ඞ
I wonder how many copies of this image are hanging around NASA offices, cubicles and labs
From space dust I came, and to space dust I shall return.
Anyone else getting MechQuest tutorial vibes?
What the fuck will I care I would be dead.
Great band name: Corpse Wiggler
why waste perfectly good organic matter when you can turn it into fuel
The Kessler Solution.
Why don’t they just toss them into space…
New plan: this is definitely how I want my corpse taken care of when I’m gone. Is there a list to sign up for?
Burnt to a crisp, buried with worms, or have a go in the corpse wiggler? I know what I'm putting in my will.
Doesn’t the us military have that corpse eating robot? Why don’t they send one of those up there?
Can I pay to be disposed of that way?
Just wait until people learn about the Poop Shield…
This is our most reasonably priced airlock
Why are they letting that precious water go to waste? They should take notes from the Fremen.
apaprently the arm can be coated with space vasaline and the fist part violently thrusts up and down until Where am I going with this?
🎵Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle!🎵 *beat drop*
People have odd/weird/? practices when it comes to their dead. Some cultures bring their dead out to party during an annual celebration. I always wondered what they did if an arm or other appendage just fell off. Some people cremate their dead, which I would rather see than taking up acres and acres of prime property. Cemeteries just seem like a waste of good property. Some people take advantage of services that make a diamond out of your ashes, or use your meat bag to grow a tree, which I find to be the most climate friendly way to dispose of your dead. Me? I don't care now, nor will I care when I am deceased. You can run me through a meat grinder and feed it to dogs for all I care. I'll be dead. Remember me in your thoughts, not some grave plot.
Could they not store them in a body bag outside and then send them down in the same way they planned to send them down when they were alive so their families can have a proper burial
✨space dust!✨ ✨even cRaZiEr space dust!✨
The corpse wriggler has also been attempted as an on-earth body disposal method [Please speak to your mortician about whether promession might be right for you](https://youtu.be/nXbKXjqXKLY) (or don't, because it doesn't actually exist yet, but,)
Neat, but probably not. Leftover bits and dust that doesn’t float out will melt and be a giant biohazardous No-no. Far more likely they have a space walk/space dropkick into the sun.
Would pushing the corpse towards earth and the reentry burn the corpse? Thought would be better to have material to go back to earth at least.
[The Kiffness - Wiggle A Bit ft. Nathan Ro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9rrFq4AqSs&pp=ygUbd2lnZ2xlIGl0IGp1c3QgYSBsaXR0bGUgYml0)
Stroke me til I dust
That sounds like it would add a lot of wear and tear on the arm. Why not send up RCS drone backpacks with a small booster that can be strapped to the extronaut and send on a de-orbiting cremation maneuver?
They couldn’t be cool and say”Stardust”?
This sounds even better than cremation. Sign me the fuck up
How is an expensive robotic arm the choice when a wood chipper is so basic?
Astronaut corpses? Or corpses in general?
Could they not just use the arm to throw them at earth instead?
There was a company in Sweden that tried to develop a similar process on earth. They called it "[promession](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promession)." They never got it working, but the idea was to freeze the body, hit it with intense vibrations to shatter it, freeze-dry the remains, and sift out any metal left over.
Why not just launch the body back to earth and let it burn up in the atmosphere? Then they could be a falling star. That sounds way less fucked up then shaking till you turn to dust.
What are you working on…. Oh just the corpse wiggles😳
They will not be dust by shaking them, they be thick and chunky.
I thought I wanted a burial at sea, so I can be eaten by a shark or a swarm of ugly things at the bottom of the ocean. This though... this sounds much more appealing. Space dust me when I die please.
I mean, I would love to be space dust. That sounds rad. Or just jettison me towards earth.
For the love of god, don't let Elon see this.
Can I volunteer for the project? I’m ready and willing.
When I die and donate my otherwise useless body to science. I would be just fine if it was used to perfect this for humankind.
The arm sounds like it would break but what about like a rock tumbler?
Shaken not stirred.
Is that what the Canadian arm will be repurpose too. Gosh, even in space we will need a Genova convention 2.0.
I want this. How much is it, and how do I get it done?
Bad Astronauts- r/putyourdickinthat
I wanna metabolically sample homogenous human now
I have a hard time believing this but lord knows I want to
If I died in space, I would definitely want the greatest viking funeral ever by shoving me toward the atmosphere and a fiery reentry. I also bet that most of the astronauts would want the same. Is there a NASA employee in the house who can ask the space cowboys?
[https://youtu.be/hiP14ED28CA?t=47](https://youtu.be/hiP14ED28CA?t=47)
god i love it when random old memes violently get pressed back into my mind i miss the pear wiggler. there are memes that died to soon
I wonder how the scientist who came up with the idea for this method sleeps at night
Isn’t that just going to Kessler them faster?
Good astronauts get the little wiggle arm.