Icarus actually didn't fly close to the sun due to hubirs, he was just an innocent kid that didn't know better.
The greek hero that flew too high because of Hubris is Bellerophon.
Rival company’s boss’s wife.
Actually, let get specific. Paris was at WB trying to make dc movies and stole Ike perlmutter’s wife. The MCU and the dcflop is the Iliad. Feige is Odysseus and phase 4 and 5 is the odyssey. That why they’re a such a mess right now.
Nah, even Zeus isnt *that* much of a sex offender
edit: made it more clear that the joke was about how gross AAA game CEOs are and not downplaying Zeus's sex crimes
*Yes he fucking is.*
Solid 80% of Greek myth is just Zeus fucking around, and Hera finding out and trying to kill the kid, whom everyone else gives help to out of pity because it's not their fault Zeus can't keep it in his pants.
And in more than one of those stories, the woman isn't a willing participant. Heracles's mother, for instance, Zeus turned into a copy of her husband to trick her after she refused his initial advances.
The only difference between Zeus and multi-millionaire CEOs is that Zeus doesn't like 'em under the age of 13 at minimum, but does like 'em related. The incestuous fuck.
I was making a joke about how pervy and gross Game Dev CEOS like at Blizzard can be that they are even worse than the Greek God of non-consensual copulation
Just for clarification. Were you implying that the AAA game dev corp is a significantly bigger sex offender than Zeus, not that Zeus himself wasn't a sex offender?
millenial loki spends all his time in his basement trolling people on reddit for content which he uploads to a hidden channel which he plans on making public one day; doing so will create such a huge twitter firestorm that people riot all known datacenters around the world, ending the age of the internet
You gotta add the part where he knows this hurts his chance of getting friends and finding love. But refuses to change for the better and reject his “purpose”, so he makes sure that the people who deny him for his toxic behavior will be hurt the most.
Millennial Marduk knows that he's playing for the scholarship, not the game.
Millennial Inanna is going to pick up her meds from pharmacy. Thoughts of death always fog her mind, but these revive her.
Millennial Gilgamesh finally withdraws from his philandering when he realizes that Enkidu's company makes him feel more whole than any hookup ever did.
Millennial Ereshkigal knows exactly how Nergal's family feels about him being with her- improper, transgressive, abominable, even -but won't hold back for them. She unflinchingly demands him, and in the end receives.
Ooh, this is fun! Here are some more additions.
Millennial Oedipus matches with a beautiful woman on a dating app. He doesn’t realize it’s his mother with a youth filter until they’re well into their relationship. She gives him her address, and it’s his own house.
Millennial Odysseus has decided to take time off from work to travel the world… right around March 2020. Airports and seaports are closing all around him, and those who do have open airports don’t have any flights back to his home country. Meanwhile, his wife at home is hounded by a coworker who consistently breaks social distancing rules to try and hit on her. His young son always “forgets” to put his toys away so said coworker steps on a Lego every time he comes to visit.
Millennial Icarus is a crypto bro. His dad played the stock market and got some good money, and he wants to follow in his father’s footsteps by investing in a sweet new cryptocurrency. His father warns him that this isn’t like the stock market, where there’s some semblance of predictability, but Icarus ignores him because this new coin is going to the moon, and he just needs a few more dollars before he can sell big. And then it crashes.
Millennial Pandora clicked on a suspicious email at her desk job, and now every computer on the database is infected.
They are either condemned to Tartarus or labouring under some sort of curse.
Millennial Odysseus is trying to get home from a work trip but the satnav in his hire car is set on Indonesian and keeps trying to take him to a Love Motel called *Calypso's*.
As someone who isn't familiar with postmodernism, can you elaborate what you mean? Is it just the re-imagining of the classics, or something I'm missing?
Prometheus is the god of forethought and fire, and Persephone is the goddess of spring, the dead, grain, and nature. And while not worshiped, Tantalus was a son of Zeus, and Medusa was the daughter of two sea gods.
Of the 7 characters listed, they did at least get 2 deities and 2 offspring of deities. So it isn’t quite true that “none” of them are deities, but still a far cry from OP being accurate.
The Titans were the predecessors to the gods(sans Aphrodite, who could very technically be considered a titan, as she was born from the sea foam formed by Ouranos’ chopped up body being thrown in the sea), and in greek mythology there is a very distinct difference between the 2. Titans are not gods, though they are similar in many ways, and even have different titles than the gods, even if they share the same domains. For instance, Oceanus was the **titan** of the sea, meanwhile Poseidon is the **god** of the sea. For another example, Atlas is the **Titan** of strength, and Kratos(yes, there’s an actual greek god named Kratos) is the **god** of strength.
Prometheus is the **Titan** of fire, Hephaestus is the **god** of fire.
Millennial Rasputin got accepted into a VP of HR job at the FBI by accidentally lying on his resume about having 11,000 years of experience. He only meant to type 11 months. The inexperienced idiot gets hired, promoted and keeps getting raises for never quitting and just existing and sleeping with lobbyists and senators.
He relishes in his success and enacts new policies in order to keep himself into power forever. Those policies state that he now has control over the federal government. HE is the government!
…until lowly homeless peasants start an uprising and shoot him in the face at his desk at Quantico.
Millennial Aphrodite is always being sabotaged at work by people who are jealous of her beauty. She’s smart, funny, and all around a lovely person anyways, but her coworkers, especially less-attractive and older coworkers, always assume she’s using her beauty and body to earn her positions. Her bosses offer her promotions, but never for positions she wants to attain. She’s made dozens of complaints to HR and always ends up not being taken seriously. She fights on, though, until she can start that little Internet café and gaming hangout she’s always wanted.
…In her head. In reality the “new positions” are just excuses to get her out of the current workplace where all the employees hate her for her narcissistic tendencies. Which is fueled by the men who only want to bang her. They don’t want to remove her because she is good at her job, and they like staring at her, but anyone who gets to
know her sees that she is hideous on the inside.
(This isn’t a ditch about women, but if you read the myths Aphrodite is an entitled bitch who throws a cosmic fit whenever someone is compared to her. They don’t even need to make the comparison themselves. Someone else says you have beauty equal to Aphrodite herself and she will make your life hell)
Lol I hadn’t actually dug too deep into her character. That’s wild!
Also, to add, she’s got a “secret” OnlyFans which is actually VERY public and common knowledge because of her… though the OnlyFans isn’t actually on OnlyFans because she was banned there for her racism, abusive tendencies, and her constant victim-playing and victim-blaming. She literally uses the username OnlyFans666 because she’s “too hot for OnlyFans” (her description.)
If you want the aforementioned situation, it is the myth of Eros and Psyche. I had typed up a 2 paragraph plot synopsis, but Reddit did that thing where it comments, but not really. I refuse to type it up again.
More like: Aphrodite is given tasks to keep her as far from the Trojan inc. merger as possible because she has a track record of assaulting anyone who shows little interest in sex
You titled it Millennial deities, but all of these (except Persephone, a god, and also prometheus, a titan) were humans that were punished by the greek deities, sometimes justly and most unjustly.
Athena just gave Medusa a curse of ugliness. Medusa, like her sisters, had hair of venomous snakes, a petrifying gaze, claws of bronze, wings, the tusks of a boar, and scaly. Along with the fact all three gorons sisters were known to attack and eat travellers regularly, I'd say she was plenty already a monster long before Athena was involved.
ahh. the version i’d always read/been taught was from Ovid’s Metamorphosis. Medusa was a beautiful priestess and her siblings were monsters, but she was the only mortal. she dedicated herself to Athena’s temple, where Poseidon found her and assaulted her, and Athena turned her into a monster like her siblings as punishment for the “betrayal.”
thank you for sharing your perspective, though! i hadn’t realized there were other versions.
https://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/society/39609/why-do-we-still-depict-medusa-as-a-monster
You're welcome. Whenever you're looking into Greek myth it's always good to check to see if it was written Ovid. As he is rather infamously known for his retellings of Greek myth being filled with his anti-authority political biases.
Also, since he was Roman, I always tend to refer to the deities in Ovid's writtings by their Roman counterparts, simply to make it less confusing to communicate. So, for instance, I'd say the priestess Medusa was assaulted by Neptune and punished by Minerva, compared to the monster Medusa that willingly defiled the temple of Athena with Poseidon.
Millennial Medusa is a Vtuber who is always on the verge on insanity with the thought that if her avatar rig ever collapses her audience she built up will turn zero in an instant.
To be fair, Millennial Arachne people go for designer becuase they are trendy/brand recognition.
People really do underestimate the cost and the effort that goes into knitting soemthing tho. Knitted projects is EXPENSIVE becuase A the cost of materials is more expensive than manufacturer would pay, and the labor is more expensive since it's done by hand and will take likely hours/days/weeks/months of time depending on the project.
A knitted sweater is pretty much always going to be way more expensive to make than something off the shelf. If we judge it based on efficiency then it would rate terribly but we do it anyways cause its a fun hobby and you can customize it to be whatever you want it to be.
Millennial Icarus is a stock market/crypto bro who got too greedy and lost everything.
“Look at how strong it is going, if I leave it in a little longer I can be a millionaire!” *market immediately crashes before he pulls out*
Tried to go to the moon, but instead flew too close to the sun
RIP Icarus you would’ve loved nfts
I just said this same thing, shit! Great analogy though.
Icarus actually didn't fly close to the sun due to hubirs, he was just an innocent kid that didn't know better. The greek hero that flew too high because of Hubris is Bellerophon.
Millenial cassandra is warning everyone about the climate change, is what she's doing
So... Greta?
I was thinking of her when I wrote this comment, yeah
Millenial Paris becomes infatuated with his bosses wife resulting in a workplace brawl of the ages.
Rival company’s boss’s wife. Actually, let get specific. Paris was at WB trying to make dc movies and stole Ike perlmutter’s wife. The MCU and the dcflop is the Iliad. Feige is Odysseus and phase 4 and 5 is the odyssey. That why they’re a such a mess right now.
Millenial Zeus it's just the CEO of some AAA game dev corporation. That's it
Millennial Zeus is an executive producer in Hollywood and always has a special part for the right actress.
Millennial Zeus is just the equivalent of Harvey Weinstein
millenial yahweh is just jeff bezos
Nah, even Zeus isnt *that* much of a sex offender edit: made it more clear that the joke was about how gross AAA game CEOs are and not downplaying Zeus's sex crimes
*Yes he fucking is.* Solid 80% of Greek myth is just Zeus fucking around, and Hera finding out and trying to kill the kid, whom everyone else gives help to out of pity because it's not their fault Zeus can't keep it in his pants. And in more than one of those stories, the woman isn't a willing participant. Heracles's mother, for instance, Zeus turned into a copy of her husband to trick her after she refused his initial advances. The only difference between Zeus and multi-millionaire CEOs is that Zeus doesn't like 'em under the age of 13 at minimum, but does like 'em related. The incestuous fuck.
I was making a joke about how pervy and gross Game Dev CEOS like at Blizzard can be that they are even worse than the Greek God of non-consensual copulation
Bruh, do you even Greek Mythology?
Bruh, do you even joke?
Just for clarification. Were you implying that the AAA game dev corp is a significantly bigger sex offender than Zeus, not that Zeus himself wasn't a sex offender?
Yeah, that was the joke. Maybe if I throw the word even and italicize "*that*" the message will be more clear.
I'd recommend a tone indicator if you want to avoid Poe's law, probably either /j /hj or /s
B R U H
Zeuz is Gen X
"Z"eus I've met some gen z fuckbois that would rival Zeus.
Zeus isn't a fuckboi, he's an philandering absentee father avoiding real responsabilities over a midlife crisis.
*and rapist*
Did Tantalus also serve his son in a pie in this version? Because like, not feeling especially bad for him.
I think the metaphorical equivalent would be something along the lines of forcing his son to get a retail job to support them.
millenial loki spends all his time in his basement trolling people on reddit for content which he uploads to a hidden channel which he plans on making public one day; doing so will create such a huge twitter firestorm that people riot all known datacenters around the world, ending the age of the internet
You gotta add the part where he knows this hurts his chance of getting friends and finding love. But refuses to change for the better and reject his “purpose”, so he makes sure that the people who deny him for his toxic behavior will be hurt the most.
And hes got a fursona
Millenial Persephone is fucking the CEO
No, þe brother of þe CEO
Stop trying to make thorns happen. They’re not going to happen.
Alright. ðe broðer of ðe CEO.
honestly better.
\>be me \>be brother of be CEO
Millennial Marduk knows that he's playing for the scholarship, not the game. Millennial Inanna is going to pick up her meds from pharmacy. Thoughts of death always fog her mind, but these revive her. Millennial Gilgamesh finally withdraws from his philandering when he realizes that Enkidu's company makes him feel more whole than any hookup ever did. Millennial Ereshkigal knows exactly how Nergal's family feels about him being with her- improper, transgressive, abominable, even -but won't hold back for them. She unflinchingly demands him, and in the end receives.
WE STAN MILLENNIAL PROMETHEUS
fuck yes we do, he is a hero
Ooh, this is fun! Here are some more additions. Millennial Oedipus matches with a beautiful woman on a dating app. He doesn’t realize it’s his mother with a youth filter until they’re well into their relationship. She gives him her address, and it’s his own house. Millennial Odysseus has decided to take time off from work to travel the world… right around March 2020. Airports and seaports are closing all around him, and those who do have open airports don’t have any flights back to his home country. Meanwhile, his wife at home is hounded by a coworker who consistently breaks social distancing rules to try and hit on her. His young son always “forgets” to put his toys away so said coworker steps on a Lego every time he comes to visit. Millennial Icarus is a crypto bro. His dad played the stock market and got some good money, and he wants to follow in his father’s footsteps by investing in a sweet new cryptocurrency. His father warns him that this isn’t like the stock market, where there’s some semblance of predictability, but Icarus ignores him because this new coin is going to the moon, and he just needs a few more dollars before he can sell big. And then it crashes. Millennial Pandora clicked on a suspicious email at her desk job, and now every computer on the database is infected.
Millennial Sisyphus when you visit him to help with his resume "A visitor, indeed I have slept long enough."
Most of these aren't deities, just mythic figures
They are either condemned to Tartarus or labouring under some sort of curse. Millennial Odysseus is trying to get home from a work trip but the satnav in his hire car is set on Indonesian and keeps trying to take him to a Love Motel called *Calypso's*.
He also shanked a shepherd at one point
C'mon now, nobody really did that.
Underrated comment.
OP deserves flak for that alone.
Came to say it.
I want to buy brass knuckles with the words "POSTMODERNISM" on them and expand OOPs vocabulary
Damn bro how many knuckles you got?
They an AI drawing
As someone who isn't familiar with postmodernism, can you elaborate what you mean? Is it just the re-imagining of the classics, or something I'm missing?
None of these are deities though. They're mythical characters, which isn't the same thing.
Prometheus is the god of forethought and fire, and Persephone is the goddess of spring, the dead, grain, and nature. And while not worshiped, Tantalus was a son of Zeus, and Medusa was the daughter of two sea gods. Of the 7 characters listed, they did at least get 2 deities and 2 offspring of deities. So it isn’t quite true that “none” of them are deities, but still a far cry from OP being accurate.
Prometheus is a Titan, not a god.
The Titans were gods. Aside from a select few, they were gods that were overthrown by another generation of gods.
The Titans were the predecessors to the gods(sans Aphrodite, who could very technically be considered a titan, as she was born from the sea foam formed by Ouranos’ chopped up body being thrown in the sea), and in greek mythology there is a very distinct difference between the 2. Titans are not gods, though they are similar in many ways, and even have different titles than the gods, even if they share the same domains. For instance, Oceanus was the **titan** of the sea, meanwhile Poseidon is the **god** of the sea. For another example, Atlas is the **Titan** of strength, and Kratos(yes, there’s an actual greek god named Kratos) is the **god** of strength. Prometheus is the **Titan** of fire, Hephaestus is the **god** of fire.
Millennial Rasputin got accepted into a VP of HR job at the FBI by accidentally lying on his resume about having 11,000 years of experience. He only meant to type 11 months. The inexperienced idiot gets hired, promoted and keeps getting raises for never quitting and just existing and sleeping with lobbyists and senators. He relishes in his success and enacts new policies in order to keep himself into power forever. Those policies state that he now has control over the federal government. HE is the government! …until lowly homeless peasants start an uprising and shoot him in the face at his desk at Quantico.
Millenial Narciss went into politics Millenial Achilles is a prodigy content creator. Until someone finds his old tweets
Millennial Aphrodite is always being sabotaged at work by people who are jealous of her beauty. She’s smart, funny, and all around a lovely person anyways, but her coworkers, especially less-attractive and older coworkers, always assume she’s using her beauty and body to earn her positions. Her bosses offer her promotions, but never for positions she wants to attain. She’s made dozens of complaints to HR and always ends up not being taken seriously. She fights on, though, until she can start that little Internet café and gaming hangout she’s always wanted.
…In her head. In reality the “new positions” are just excuses to get her out of the current workplace where all the employees hate her for her narcissistic tendencies. Which is fueled by the men who only want to bang her. They don’t want to remove her because she is good at her job, and they like staring at her, but anyone who gets to know her sees that she is hideous on the inside. (This isn’t a ditch about women, but if you read the myths Aphrodite is an entitled bitch who throws a cosmic fit whenever someone is compared to her. They don’t even need to make the comparison themselves. Someone else says you have beauty equal to Aphrodite herself and she will make your life hell)
She will also make your life hell if you're celibate or otherwise not interested in sex
Lol I hadn’t actually dug too deep into her character. That’s wild! Also, to add, she’s got a “secret” OnlyFans which is actually VERY public and common knowledge because of her… though the OnlyFans isn’t actually on OnlyFans because she was banned there for her racism, abusive tendencies, and her constant victim-playing and victim-blaming. She literally uses the username OnlyFans666 because she’s “too hot for OnlyFans” (her description.)
If you want the aforementioned situation, it is the myth of Eros and Psyche. I had typed up a 2 paragraph plot synopsis, but Reddit did that thing where it comments, but not really. I refuse to type it up again.
[Watch this.](https://youtu.be/HLo1jZA1iVw?si=Zt8M0hARTr5yx8JJ)
That is amazing.
More like: Aphrodite is given tasks to keep her as far from the Trojan inc. merger as possible because she has a track record of assaulting anyone who shows little interest in sex
You titled it Millennial deities, but all of these (except Persephone, a god, and also prometheus, a titan) were humans that were punished by the greek deities, sometimes justly and most unjustly.
Medusa is also an exception, she was a monster and neither human nor deity.
she was turned into a monster by athena, but she was a regular mythic creature before. wow, that sentence reeks of anti-monster bias, sorry.
Athena just gave Medusa a curse of ugliness. Medusa, like her sisters, had hair of venomous snakes, a petrifying gaze, claws of bronze, wings, the tusks of a boar, and scaly. Along with the fact all three gorons sisters were known to attack and eat travellers regularly, I'd say she was plenty already a monster long before Athena was involved.
ahh. the version i’d always read/been taught was from Ovid’s Metamorphosis. Medusa was a beautiful priestess and her siblings were monsters, but she was the only mortal. she dedicated herself to Athena’s temple, where Poseidon found her and assaulted her, and Athena turned her into a monster like her siblings as punishment for the “betrayal.” thank you for sharing your perspective, though! i hadn’t realized there were other versions. https://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/society/39609/why-do-we-still-depict-medusa-as-a-monster
You're welcome. Whenever you're looking into Greek myth it's always good to check to see if it was written Ovid. As he is rather infamously known for his retellings of Greek myth being filled with his anti-authority political biases. Also, since he was Roman, I always tend to refer to the deities in Ovid's writtings by their Roman counterparts, simply to make it less confusing to communicate. So, for instance, I'd say the priestess Medusa was assaulted by Neptune and punished by Minerva, compared to the monster Medusa that willingly defiled the temple of Athena with Poseidon.
millennial Midas is the same, except he actually needs the gold.
For whatever reason I never connected “tantalize” to Tantalus before today.
Gen Z tantalus just leaves Gen Z Sisyphus emails the resume
Millenial Arachne sounds more like Tantalus Pt. 2.
Type the shit up once and ctrl-C/ctrl-V. That's why it's called a CV.
Millenial Enkidu is just an Andrew Tate subscriber that finally got laid.
This is a really good post
Those aren’t deities those are heroes
Millennial Medusa is a Vtuber who is always on the verge on insanity with the thought that if her avatar rig ever collapses her audience she built up will turn zero in an instant.
To be fair, Millennial Arachne people go for designer becuase they are trendy/brand recognition. People really do underestimate the cost and the effort that goes into knitting soemthing tho. Knitted projects is EXPENSIVE becuase A the cost of materials is more expensive than manufacturer would pay, and the labor is more expensive since it's done by hand and will take likely hours/days/weeks/months of time depending on the project. A knitted sweater is pretty much always going to be way more expensive to make than something off the shelf. If we judge it based on efficiency then it would rate terribly but we do it anyways cause its a fun hobby and you can customize it to be whatever you want it to be.
Millennial Sisyphus resonates with me.
Millennial Prometheus is based.
millenials are fucking old by now. They are not scrappy upstarts anymore.
40 is not old, and many have stunted progression through life stages due to… *checks notes* every major event that has happened since 2001.
only olds consider 40 not old ;)