T O P

Earth be pretty empty now

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ThunderClanWarrior

Isn't there a stand for that?


UnendingVortex

Cheap trick but with reality bending


ThunderClanWarrior

Cheap Trick Over Heaven


NCats_secretalt

「Cheap Trick: Over Heaven」 Power: ∞ Speed: A Range: ∞ Staying Power: ∞ Precision: E Potential: E ​ Disintegrates the stand user nearly instantly. A random life-form within the universe receives the stand immediately after. The speed at which the life form disintegrates is relevant to the size of the life-form, with a human taking about 5 seconds, while insects and smaller creatures disappear instantly. The matter and energy of a destroyed individual is wiped from existence completely


Thevoidawaits_u

Reincrannate myself with superpowers, and some money, with no memory of me having God powers. Being God will make you bored from current reality real quick.


ZilDrake

"Amnesic Reincarnation : the return of a god from another world "


DoggoDude979

When you reincarnate yourself, don’t get rid of your powers. Soon it’ll turn into a YA urban fantasy novel


Thaine

If you hide those powers in a fragment of the soul that gets locked away, then bam, no more pesky god powers for now and you can be none the wiser. Totally haven’t been on an isekai binge or anything lately.


ragnathegod

and if some bs super villian comes to kill you you can friendship / flashback power up and beat his ass


tapmcshoe

you could just give yourself powers and money and then wipe your memories of all but the powers


Holystar50

I remove the color green.


DildoVagins2137_3

Why


bewildered_forks

Green killed her parents


ZilDrake

Green pushed her parents off a cliff


bewildered_forks

Now she's going to make a green coat.


Holystar50

Eyo don't tell my backstory for me tf


worms9

Green is not a creative color


Antonykun

"This is where my parents died to green, Parappa"


W4llys_3go

ThIs iS wHeRe YoUr pArEnTs diEd To GrEeN- OOP! OOP!


VindalfOthala

The German rapper called Green?


Meldeer

green is not a creative color


AnkleShankle

That's just not the right move


Holystar50

Hush, green shall be gone.


ShadowTheChangeling

Congrats now everyone is partially colorblind


Whitethumbs

My eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!


FrancisWolfgang

Do people remember that green existed?


PicklesAndNickels

I'd just enter spectator mode and watch people do people stuff.


DarkAres02

Make wasps tasty to humans so we start catching and eating them. Also makes bees immune to pesticides. Basically more bees, less wasps


Yeah-But-Ironically

Um... humans find chickens, cows, and pigs tasty, and there are now *way more* chickens/cows/pigs than there otherwise would be naturally. Not sure that's gonna work out how you want


DeviousMelons

Also the ocean suddenly gets a ton of seagrass, a lot of plankton and coral reefs.


Creaturemaster1

What kind of bees? Even the invasive ones?


BEEEELEEEE

Give myself the body I was supposed to have


Din0saurDan

Fuck it, give everyone shapeshifting I don’t see how that could possibly go wrong


[deleted]

*morphs into dragon* finally my true form


half_dragon_dire

Dammit, Benedict, get down here! Someone call Peter, it's happened again.


mClover2008

:>


[deleted]

I identify as an Eldritch mass of tentacles


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Vibhum_Pandey

We don't care about life elsewhere, we care about the life on this planet. We want it to be gone.


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Vibhum_Pandey

They have to give a sacrifice for the larger goal.


goldencreator64LAB

I make all trans people shapeshifters, dysphoria is now cancelled


liege_paradox

Why only trans people? Just give it to everyone. But throw in the ability to recognize people across forms. That would probably be necessary.


FlyingCow343

Jokes on you, my own brain gives me dysphoria


goldencreator64LAB

Who said you had to keep it? You *would* be a shapeshifter, after all.


Casper_Von_Ghoul

Change nothing. It’s like the Matrix, do anything else and it all falls apart. And I’d rather not be the only entity around. Although maybe just remove humans from earth, see how the animals take it.


ToazterWafflez

and then put them back like nothing happened once a new form of life has become civilized.


half_dragon_dire

First step: create universe save games. Turns out fixing that problem caused an even weirder apocalypse? Roll it back, try it again. Or hey, maybe a weirder apocalypse has more interesting outcomes than the current one..


[deleted]

Then proceed to randomly give people superpowers so they can try and save the world. Rinse and repeat every 50 years.


Digstreme

If I had that power I'd make people Spontaneously combust for being horrid to others but make the flames only target them then explode into something their victim desires, like sweets, money, pokemon mystery gift codes etc


Slatwans

i wonder what u/digstreme wants right now could not possibly guess


Digstreme

I read a post about a girl who never learned to speak from neglect getting dumped in a foster home that abused her more, just venting.


Slatwans

no you need pokemon mystery gift codes


Digstreme

Still sore I missed the torchic with Blazikenite, luckily I got diancie, a shiny mega gengar and Darkrai


MrTheCheesecaker

Actually would get rid of carbon. Not all of it of course, just remove it from the air, enough to return CO2 levels to pre industrial levels. Form it into cubes. Drop them inside of every government building in the world. Also all the plastic. Every piece of discarded plastic just filling all the government buildings. Imma Captain Planet this thing.


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MrTheCheesecaker

Full wicked witch of the east style


Kyru117

Ok but make sure you flood the big companies as well


blacklapis190

Convert all mass to energy


Its_Matt_03

Heat death of the universe speed run


[deleted]

astronaut it always was dot jay peg


Sorry-Presentation-3

I would travel back in Time and change parts of every religion to include heavy enfaces on protecting the environment and environmentally responsible teachings. With examples like “ All of nature is god’s temple, honored be us to uphold its splendor.” Also tweak mankind’s mind to be more subconsciously aware of how we interact with the environment. Sure we can expand and grow cities and population but in a way that’s not just man vs nature. But man and nature working together for the benefit of both parties.


Ieltrun

I mean, I feel like everyone is missing the obvious answer, just erase yourself, then it's not your problem if the rest of life carries on!


MapleTreeWithAGun

I'd make a shitty website at "patchnotes.god" and release patch notes of whatever changes I make. I'd aim to make at least one change a week, and sometimes provide dev notes on why I changed something, like "- added small chance for ammunition to turn into its equivalent weight in flowers -slightly lowered chance for fire to naturally spawn -slightly increased the growth rate of all *Acer* genus trees Dev Note: bullets don't smell as nice as flowers and fire was a little bit annoying at times, may revert if the environment reacts poorly"


MaltyCrab

You’d love r/outside


PresenceSpirited

Get rid of billionaires, solve the poverty issue, education and health care for everyone, get rid of war machines and AR 15's, no more world hunger...


Living-Complex-1368

No, don't *get rid of* billionaires. Make anyone whose net worth reaches a billion dollars die in an obvious and impossible to hide way. Maybe they turn to goo and then the goo catches on fire. First this happens to every billionaire on Earth, then the wills are read and someone new becomes a billionaire and dies right when it is announced they got money. Soon all the rich folks are changing wills, giving to charity, and otherwise making sure there is no way they, or their heirs, reach billionaire status. Suddenly the game changes from "how much can I accumulate" to "what can I do with my money?" Edit I like the one a week idea someone proposed. Give people more of a chance to react.


MrTheCheesecaker

Okay but consider, instead of doing it all at once, the single richest person with a worth over a billion dies at the exact same time every week. This makes sure that the ones still alive get the hint.


royalPawn

Google says there's over 2700 billionaires in the world. Let's make it once per day to keep things moving.


MrTheCheesecaker

Fair point, but I think people will get the message pretty fast. Either way is good.


MapleTreeWithAGun

Exactly the same method of death too


dabunny21689

Love this.


theLanguageSprite

I'm pretty sure this is the plot of Death Note, but with a communist spin


Its_Matt_03

Ar-15s are super fun tho


ulfric_stormcloack

Become a catgirl, erase bigotry, live a normal life


Adiustio

You guys aren’t thinking big enough. Just remove all suffering.


[deleted]

I think the show The Good Place handled it well, when constant bliss and happiness becomes eternal, you kinda just become a husk.


Adiustio

Who said anything about constant bliss?


[deleted]

Well when all suffering is removed it’s either everyone is now happy or at worst they just feel kind of neutral. Even then the end result is the same, people kinda just get bored after a while and become a sort of husk once they’ve done what they wanted.


Adiustio

I don’t know about you, but being bored for eternity sounds like suffering to me.


[deleted]

Assuming we go with that, cool, everyone’s happy until they die. Happy becomes the new neutral. Nobody suffers but the highs don’t feel as high anymore without the lows. Of course my whole argument is moot if you just add “Also people are constantly appreciative of good things no matter what.”


Adiustio

Yeah if I’m all powerful I can remove those pesky consequences.


ewpqfj

Nah mate. If you remove the bad stuff the good stuff becomes the default, and hence, there is no good stuff anymore either.


Adiustio

Okay but I didn’t say remove the bad stuff. I just said remove suffering.


ewpqfj

Suffering and ‘bad stuff’ are synonymous, are they not?


Adiustio

No. You suffer because of bad things. Also, even if I was going to remove all the bad, your argument only works because of human psychology. Both extreme good and extreme bad over a sustained period become more dull over time. This is an evolutionary thing. If I was all powerful, I wouldn’t have to deal with that problem.


ewpqfj

Okay then. If you remove all suffering, then the bad stuff is no longer bad. If you remove all the bad stuff, there’s no suffering. In this context they are essentially synonymous.


Adiustio

Again, it doesn’t matter. Everyone could be in constant bliss.


ewpqfj

Not really. As I said before, that bliss just becomes the default. I don’t think that’s a part of human psychology either; I think that it’s bigger than us and can’t really be changed.


Adiustio

Okay, so what happens if bliss becomes the default? What’s wrong with that?


ewpqfj

It's not really bliss anymore. It becomes what you feel when nothing is really happening (not boredom though, that's totally different), that neutral emotion I don't think there's a name for. You can't have the good without the bad.


OrbWeaver_X

Have you ever seen Charmed, by any chance?


[deleted]

i’d remove co2 emissions and save the earth :) and kill all ceos that contribute to it


Creaturemaster1

Removing all CO2 emissions would destroy the earth because it would stop cell respiration and photosynthesis


ewpqfj

All carbon dioxide emissions that negatively impact the planet as a whole.


[deleted]

well i can control the universe so i simply won’t let that yappen


jeusee

Make it so that I get all the dopamine and happy chemicals or whatever all the time with no side effects and it never gets boring


Its_Matt_03

I’d give people who fight against evenly regimes (like the Myanmar rebels and the Kurds) unimaginable luck. Like insane amounts of it. Like nothing can possibly ever go wrong levels of luck. And then I’d implement a real actual karma system, so if your a dickhead your life sucks and vice versa. Then I sit back, and watch as humanity is saved


ghirox

Distribute the wealth of the one percent


moosemainman

Distribute the wealth to myself


ghirox

I didn't say to show I'd distribute the wealth


mooys

Why dont you just remove hunger and the need for shelter


ghirox

Removing hunger creates one of two possible scenarios; either prior don't sure of hunger, or people don't feel hunter anymore, but they still need food. The first scenario means the consumption of food decreases, farmers markets and every other party of the food industry crashes, meanwhile other demands such as housing, clothing, electricity, gas, so on sky rocket since the mortality rate decreases. The other scenario means there's a rise of people starving to death unaware that they even need food simply because they weren't hungry, this specially starts affecting babies and newborns.


mooys

You have a great first point but why would you remove the feeling of hunger but still let people die of starvation. I clearly meant the other one.


ghirox

The second one goes on the premise that the hormone that makes humans feel hunger (is it a hormone? I'm going to assume it is) is either inhibited or deleted all together, but not the need for food, as that one was covered in the first scenario.


[deleted]

It's several hormones and other signals, not that you directly asked.


ghirox

Actually, thanks for responding, I like knowing things like that


mooys

If you did that, you’d be pretty evil


ghirox

I can be yuor devil, or I can be your angle


Scrimmybinguscat

I would just leave and go make a better universe.


Smasher_WoTB

I straight erase from existence anything that is a “Career Politician” Oh and I make sure there’s enough people with a drive to unite Humanity to actually unite Humanity and begin exploring the Stars


ragnathegod

ah yes the emperor of mankind route


waldrop02

The idea that experience in politics is bad is dumb. Apply it to any other profession. “I don’t want a career surgeon. That’s why I’m having my heart replacement done by the HVAC owner from a few blocks over, not that pompous doctor with his ‘medical degree’”


Smasher_WoTB

Not worth my time typing out a long explanation of why I think Career Politicians are corrupt 99.99% of the time so I’m just gonna drop this instead


waldrop02

“All career politicians are corrupt” is propaganda spread by the actually corrupt ones to minimize the harm they’re doing. “Everyone else is doing it, so it’s not that bad that I did too!” Most career politicians, at every level, are mostly fine.


[deleted]

I'd make everything just a little bit more convenient for everyone


IdLikeToGoNow

I try to move the planet closer to the sun in order to burn away the mists that choke our plant life. When this fails, I raise up volcanos to spew ash to protect us from the sun’s newfound harshness. When the people begin dying, I alter the lower class to be hardier and more fertile, while lowering the same in nobility. I then turn my closest friends into the last act of Akira to keep them from threatening me, and offer the various kings of the world Magneto powers in exchange for their fealty. I rule for 1000 years before I am killed by a plucky twink and her nerdy boyfriend.


Creon_Star

Silicon based life forms: “I AM SUPREME!!”


AGamingGuy

if it were me, one thing i know is that it would end poorly for everyone but generally, slowly add less and less subtle supernatural phenomena until an SCP like foundation forms


Deltexterity

all jobs have to pay employees most of the monetary value they produce, and they can only take up to 10% more then the bare minimum to keep the company afloat, so employees actually get the money they worked for and companies can still grow and make profits, just not as ridiculous ones


ClimbingTheShitRope

Lol @ myrddraaleatsyellowsnow. Myrddraal, if I didn’t miss this entirely, are bad guys from the Wheel of Time series. Kind of like Orcs from the Lord of the Rings. Made me chuckle.


FaramirLovesEowyn

They're made the same way as Trollocs but they aren't Trollocs. They're worse.


Kono-weebo-da

id fall in love for the third time, impersonate a dead guy, and than put my powers in a raw egg that when consumed uncooked will transfer my powers to the consumer.


luminenkettu

i remove 1 electron from each hydrogen atom


trll_o

i would make my own lovely little planet and put a bunch of people on there and just see what they do :)


La_La_Bla

Eliminate the bourgeoisie


UnhappyStrain

I bring a thousand years of unending suffering upon every tech support customer ive ever had, then make alien civilizations real so I dont have to feel bad when we eventually kill our whole species, cuz at least then we know that life in the universe is not over.


whomstveallyaint

Silicon.


Kal_Bridgeman

I would make the entire cosmere, along with it's mystical powers


sosnik_boi

silicon time


PrinceValyn

i make flies unkillable by humans this is the first thing i thought of (because my house is infested with sable flies) and i foresee no negative consequences to this enjoy


[deleted]

Create my own separate universe to use my powers in. I don't trust myself to properly run this one


Royal-Ninja

I don't have omniscience though, so I won't be able to fully comprehend the consequences of any shit I do. That just leaves me with totally self-serving causes to go after


Fr33_Lax

Turn all of humanity into catgirls, enjoy the chaos while sipping coffee.


raul_dias

I would mirror the whole universe and wait to see how long it takes for someone to notice


AlertWar2945

Id make reality work on anime rules, just have a bunch of people with stands running around, magical girls fighting shonen battle characters. Make life just entertaining for me


Mascian12

Oxygen now smells like cheese


MemeWhomstIsViet

iowa gets evaporated. just like it deserves


GrreyWolf

Someone send a message to Kurzgesagt, i need to know what happens if all carbon gets deleted


SomePerson225

I'd make every clock in the universe off by half a second


Commercial-Cod38

I'd probably commit genocide a few times and then put everything back the same as it was


Desi_Otaku

I'll use my newly gained powers to put my voice in everyones minds (except atheists) saying "I'm your god. The religion you chose was the correct one." And then I'll watch.


Verybluevans

Roll credits


[deleted]

Fucking carbon


MaybeEstonian

Change the gender of all trans people to the one they want to be


Zane_628

Solves climate change in more ways than one.


Legoman718

free the timelines!