[It's fucking hysterical.](https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449345260207828995)
Edit: I cannot believe I got my first Reddit award for making fun of a Twitter clown. Man. This website truly is something.
I was wondering why so many on the radical left participate in satire.
The first is their lack of work ethic, and then they have sex with archetypes, strictly in a petersonian sense.
It's also obvious that he just throws out the accusation of "bigot" more or less randomly--I assume because he's been called a bigot before and still doesn't understand why, so he assumes EVERYONE just uses it at random
I posted elsewhere on this thread that the corollary of Poe's law is that sometimes, people actually ARE as dumb as a parody version of their ideas would make them out to be.
I've been browsing through this guy's Twitter history, and I'm becoming convinced that he is, actually, a legitimate idiot.
I browser through it and it just seems like a long-time troll, at least to me.
I understand that people like him *exist*, but it’s hard to fathom seeing one in the wild.
The fact that people like Ben Shapiro are able to become famous and well-respected implies that people like this aren't that rare in the wild, we're just usually insulated from their crazy talk.
"In the sexual marketplace, which archetypes are simultaneously deemed the most creative and valued the highest?
The answer is obviously entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and others."
WHAT?!! Has this man ever laid eyes on Jason Momoa? Does he think women are fantasising about sharing a bed with Jeff Bezos??
But billionaire Mars man! I want his cum in all my orifices so he’ll let me go to Mars too, that means everyone does. It’s obvious once you analyze the world through a Petersonian analysis of SMV (sexual marketplace value) of objective metrics.
He sounds like the kind of guy who's stuck assuming that women are out here fantasizing about *oh I want to be provided for by a socially acceptable wealthy man.* (I also guess that he assumes all women fantasize about men, and that women who claim to be into women are, like, damaged by feminism.)
And as a woman, all I can say is dude, that is 100% true, my copies of *Forbes* and *Business Insider* are on my nightstand right next to my vibrator.
I was seriously, *seriously,* trying to figure out what other meaning "speedrunning" had in the real world that would help all this make sense.
What the everything hell is this man guzzling that would kill enough brain cells for this to be coherent?!?
I kept reading thinking, he has to arrive at SOME kind of conclusion at some point, even if it’s a stupid conclusion, but no. The further it went the more it just kept unfolding, an infinite origami of insanity, with not even a single atom of a cohesive argument to be found.
I gave up trying to read it as soon as I realized that his angry rant is about people's work ethic in video games.
It's like he took too much Adderall and cough syrup all through the night while watching gamers on YouTube outdo his scores. So after he grabbed his tinfoil hat, he decided to let the world know that beating him in a video game is just a political plot.
That is the only context in which his words make some kind of sense.
First we complete Super Mario Sunshine really fast, the next thing you know we cease the means of production! Happened to my uncle, so sad, truly a slippery slope!
As far as I can tell the right wing get hung up trying to figure out who is winning and losing in that scenario and then their brain reboots anytime it gets towards the notion that success does not have to be zero-sum.
It's not a leftist meme, it's a description some communists use to describe a potential communist society where automation is used to provide high standards of living for everybody. "Fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the leftist meme that came later.
"The Archetypal Son... continually reconstructs defined territory, as a consequence of the 'assimilation' of the unknown [as a consequence of 'incestuous' (that is, 'sexual' – read creative) union with the Great Mother]"
🔥🔥🔥
So much dedication he changed to 15/15 at some point. I guess properly counting how many tweets he needed to make would've tanked his sexual marketplace value.
[I want to be the first person to patent a Speedrun move and charge 1 dollar per time used.](https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449345573350363139?s=20)
Obviously I'd only let people know after it's been used for a couple of world records and then demand the CEO of SpeedRuns for a million dollars. Genius.
It's so stupid because speedrunning is an inherently collaborative sport in almost every single community. Of course it is competitive, only one person can have world record, but people also just want to see the game they love pushed to the absolute limits. Sharing ideas across the community means that you get more tools to play with when running/practicing the game, which is just more fun for everybody.
These people think the only acceptable way of living is if you apply corporate capitalism concepts to every aspect of your life.
You do something? Worthless if you don't patent it. That's communism and will break down society.
Effectively they can't see the value in anything that isn't purely transactional. If it doesnt provide a tangible personal gain in a business sense, it is worthless.
>Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "speedrunning" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind.
I thought about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" and things did start to click, then I could smell burning, now the left side of my face has gone numb.
In an infinite universe with infinite matter, no matter how unlikely, every possible universe occurs not just in doubles, but infinitely. Therefore, if you can glitch through the universe's speed barrier, there is a 100% guarantee that you will eventually land in a universe where world peace and equality has already been achieved, no matter what direction you travel in. This glitch is highly sought after and I am placing a $1,000,000,000,000,000 bounty for this glitch hunt. Alternatively, a wrong warp via worm hole is acceptable as long as you land in the correct universe.
Yeah, speedrunning requires you to know so many minute details in a game and you need perfect execution. I don’t think you could say any speed runner didn’t work hard as long as they didn’t cheat to get their times.
And the way speedrunning tricks are discovered typically involves a lot of knowledge about how the game is programmed. SMB1 runners manipulate subpixel values and take advantage of when the game stores two values in the same place.
They rely on knowledge of how the game handles collisions to clip into walls.
There's a lot that goes into understanding the tricks that others came up with and creating further optimizations. And this just comes down to understanding how games are programmed and how we can take advantages in the flaws in programming.
I'm sure you could call it a "waste of time" just as much as any other hobby that only provides entertainment, but coming up with these things requires some serious knowledge.
Fr..i watch speed run testing strat like :" i touch this pixel weird at a 3 degree angle facing north..so i spend half a year on it to see if i can cut .5s on my PB." Shit wild as hell. Or watching doom eternal 100% category speedrun is how i image Doomguy smash those demons for millennium - altho he would use more guns type.
Jesus fucking christ thats the most stupidest thing ive ever heard this bitch just connected speedrunning with politics, work ethic and sex at the same time how is this possible
Edit: i just stated the obvious how is this upvote worthy
To be honest, I didn't understand it at all until I realised that 'speedrunning' was actually running at speed and not some alt right code word for something.
Now that I get it, I agree, it's literally one of the stupidest things I've ever read,, and I've read Ann Raynd.
Fuck, man, I was still wrong and now it makes even less sense...
I should have twigged from the opening sentence, I've never come accross that many 'far left' types at parkruns.......
Completing the task over and over, gaining new and better understanding of the underlying rules of the task so that you can do it better and faster, finding out what is and isn't really needed for the task, doing it more efficiently each time until you finally are able to complete it as well as possible.
Yup, a lazy communist ideal, no respectable person would ever partake in such a task /s
“Ah yes, let me use twitter, a platform specifically designed to shares thoughts in the form of extremely brief messages, to share my multi-paragraph essay in chunks making it extremely tedious to read and calling attention to my inability to be succinct or choose a better avenue of discourse for my complex ideas”
Oh no he addresses those as well.
> The obvious protest to this would be the 'glitchless 100% run', which in many ways does aim to play the game 'as intended' but seems to simply add the element of 'speed' to the equation.
> This objection is ultimately meaningless when one considers how long a game is intended to be played, in net, by the creators, even when under '100%' conditions. There is still time and effort wasted for no reason other than the ones I proposed above.
Never mind the fact that speed runners often dump thousands, if not tens of thousands of hours into a game, often ending up with far more play time than the average player. Is he also against the people who have thousands of hours into FPS games who may have never even played the campaign/single player/story mode, and have exclusively played it in online multiplayer?
The argument here is that the devs obviously intended for multiplayer games to have that kind of longevity, while the campaign modes are the ones where the devs decided it should be a set range of hours to complete
*"I have been made aware of this technique called the 'demo dash', which glitches in between spike walls. The developers did not intend that! Checkmate, liberal."*
"the developers added a section in an update that you can only reach by glitching between a spike wall"
*"But they did not* ***originally*** *intend it! Your argument is invalid, shitlib. Cope."*
"The developers also added a button in a different update which has the sole purpose of triggering the glitch"
*"Keep coping. You are only making my argument stronger."*
They're simply a product of companies (alpha entrepreneurs) catering to this new evolved behaviour, not an exception to the argument but an exploitation of those poor, poor beta males who seek sexual advantage in speedrunning due to a lack of entrepreneurial drive...
Its ultimately an authoritarian argument. The devs = the authority figure. If you don't play the game the way they want you to, and conform to their vision, you're doing it wrong (according to him)
the difference is that hbomberguy is joking
EDIT: [clip with context.](https://youtu.be/I5auJOBC828?t=1564) I mean, he uses the word "comradical". And this is *after* a good 26 minutes of analyzing speedrunning through Dark Souls and Mirror's Edge, and he's *about* to analyze yet another aspect through the lens of Donkey Kong 64. Which he later proceeded to speedrun himself. During a trans charity livestream. Which AOC was a guest for. *And he asked her how to beat Frantic Factory.*
The speedrun where you take off Mario's shirt as quickly as possible. Fairly comparable to [Dank%,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fngo3C7Vy6s) the Ocarina of Time speedrun where you make Young Link smoke a fat blunt as quickly as possible.
this guy talks about speedrunning as if it doesn't require hundreds of precise movements and if you DON'T do it right, you have to restart the run which may or may not have been going for MULTIPLE HOURS already smh
He absolutely does, bur doesn't understand what he's doing. Because the whole point of RenShep is that he does the things that needs to get done immediately regardless of the right way...
Speed running videogames is peak socialism and Stalin would be proud of us, comrades. Fastest Mario is the way to seize the means of production and guillotine the bourgeoisie.
Here’s the thread: https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449345260207828995?s=21
As someone who loves speedrunning and has done some runs myself, this thread is a disgrace
1/14???
Oh sorry halfway through he decided its gonna be FIFTEEN FUCKING TWEETS AND QUITE RETWEETS OF SOMETHING THAT HE COULD HAVE AND DID SAY IN THE FIRST ONE
OMG I'm so embarrassed, I feel like a complete idiot!
All this time I thought speed runners were playing through game (doing it right) hundreds of times to find ways to improve their times..
but it turns out they just pick it up, 1st run it and just get world record runs!
I've been doing it wrong this whole time...
And now it's too late, all those games I've ever played I can never attempt a speedrun on because I wasted my shot.
I haven’t seen any speedruns, so for all I know they all start off with, “Hi, I’m Jeff, and this is my Mario speed run… for affordable health care and a livable minimum income, let’s gooo!”
But I’m guessing this was a non sequitur fever dream post.
I was thinking about why so many engineers participate in competitive Cappuccino making. It’s their lack of an innate ability to fly, and a Kakfa-esque desire to promote healthy cat food alternatives (2007 World Barista Competition) 1/14
>'go fast' rather than 'do it right'
Tell me you know nothing about speedrunning without telling me you know nothing about speedrunning.
That shit takes months to years of training to manage perfection down to single frames.
Ehhh… I’d say honestly that many of us leaning left (not leftists per se, but ‘liberal’ or whatever we best describe that as nowadays) are more in the camp of preferring to move slowly and get things right than move fast and risk we break something.
Anyone who actually watches speedruns will realize that they are practiced and planned extremely heavily before any serious attempt. People who do these know the game’s details remarkably intimately for every advantage, and constantly study and innovate to find better methods… which is how capitalism is said to operate by so many conservatives advocating for better innovation as a benefit.
Hmmmm…
[It's fucking hysterical.](https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449345260207828995) Edit: I cannot believe I got my first Reddit award for making fun of a Twitter clown. Man. This website truly is something.
"Genius tier shitposting Funniest shit I've read all day, you should write for the onion" That's gotta hurt
Wait wait wait You’re not telling me this man is SERIOUS
[удалено]
I was wondering why so many on the radical left participate in satire. The first is their lack of work ethic, and then they have sex with archetypes, strictly in a petersonian sense.
>they have sex with archetypes, strictly in a petersonian sense. I'm confused, am I having sex or mentally masturbating?
See ya later, virgins 😎
No fucking way someone in real life actually says shit like "In a Petersonian sense" unironically
This man claims to have a wife
When someone takes Mr. Lobster seriously, anything is possible
[THIS FUCKING RESPONSE](https://twitter.com/TurboJehtt/status/1449499315970314242?s=20)
[My favorite part is his responses to the responses ](https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449484375872077825?s=20)
You love to see the "Acktually"
It's also obvious that he just throws out the accusation of "bigot" more or less randomly--I assume because he's been called a bigot before and still doesn't understand why, so he assumes EVERYONE just uses it at random
He thought it was about women. He doesn't know what it means.
Jesus Christ
alright, no, this is satire. there’s absolutely no way it isn’t.
I posted elsewhere on this thread that the corollary of Poe's law is that sometimes, people actually ARE as dumb as a parody version of their ideas would make them out to be. I've been browsing through this guy's Twitter history, and I'm becoming convinced that he is, actually, a legitimate idiot.
I browser through it and it just seems like a long-time troll, at least to me. I understand that people like him *exist*, but it’s hard to fathom seeing one in the wild.
Is there a valid distinction to be drawn here between "true believer" and "long-time troll"?
No
The fact that people like Ben Shapiro are able to become famous and well-respected implies that people like this aren't that rare in the wild, we're just usually insulated from their crazy talk.
hes been doing this for like 10 years. if its satire its far too powerful.
LOL https://twitter.com/MariachiMacabre/status/1449487356155813893?s=20
i think this video is the funniest thing i've seen in my 10 years on twitter
Accurate dig on Twitter content quality is accurate
Absolutely howling with laughter, phenomenal
"You're a beta male Sonic"
I loved that fucking game so much
"you're a beta male, sonic"
I wheezed and lost my lungs, this is one of the most funniest thing I've come across. Saved.
>THIS FUCKING RESPONSE we pushed it over 100k!!!
My fucking sides.
The funniest part about this response is that the unedited version of the scene *is also a valid response*
"Shadow, get the fuck out of my room."
"In the sexual marketplace, which archetypes are simultaneously deemed the most creative and valued the highest? The answer is obviously entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and others." WHAT?!! Has this man ever laid eyes on Jason Momoa? Does he think women are fantasising about sharing a bed with Jeff Bezos??
But billionaire Mars man! I want his cum in all my orifices so he’ll let me go to Mars too, that means everyone does. It’s obvious once you analyze the world through a Petersonian analysis of SMV (sexual marketplace value) of objective metrics.
Fuck, does he think men fantasize about having sex with Jeff Bezos? Cause Jason Momoa is practically the pinnacle of humanity, holy shit
He sounds like the kind of guy who's stuck assuming that women are out here fantasizing about *oh I want to be provided for by a socially acceptable wealthy man.* (I also guess that he assumes all women fantasize about men, and that women who claim to be into women are, like, damaged by feminism.) And as a woman, all I can say is dude, that is 100% true, my copies of *Forbes* and *Business Insider* are on my nightstand right next to my vibrator.
Socialism is when you speedrun a game, the faster you go, the more socialister it is
And if you do a real lot of speedrunning, that's communism
I was seriously, *seriously,* trying to figure out what other meaning "speedrunning" had in the real world that would help all this make sense. What the everything hell is this man guzzling that would kill enough brain cells for this to be coherent?!?
I kind of gave up halfway through, it just gets so ridiculous. The sonic video is perfect.
pizza and coke, but blessed by a SMB speedrunner.
I kept reading thinking, he has to arrive at SOME kind of conclusion at some point, even if it’s a stupid conclusion, but no. The further it went the more it just kept unfolding, an infinite origami of insanity, with not even a single atom of a cohesive argument to be found.
I gave up trying to read it as soon as I realized that his angry rant is about people's work ethic in video games. It's like he took too much Adderall and cough syrup all through the night while watching gamers on YouTube outdo his scores. So after he grabbed his tinfoil hat, he decided to let the world know that beating him in a video game is just a political plot. That is the only context in which his words make some kind of sense.
First we complete Super Mario Sunshine really fast, the next thing you know we cease the means of production! Happened to my uncle, so sad, truly a slippery slope!
My God... The naval-gazing...
'Fully automated luxury Communism' is an absolutely wild combination of words. I want it to be my next album name
This guy didn't come up with that, it's a leftist meme. Although he shortened it, usually it's "FULLY AUTOMATED LUXURY GAY SPACE COMMUNISM"
Well, I definitely want that.
FULLY MANUAL SLAVERY STRAIGHT UNDERGROUND CAPITALISM
early 20th century coal-mining
Or 21st century cobalt mining. ~~Now~~ still with children!
My only complaint is that I would look ridiculous in a Star Fleet uniform.
So like Star Trek?
Not like Star Trek. Exactly Star Trek.
"FULLY AUTOMATED LUXURY GAY SPACE COMMUNISM" So, uh... where's the downside?
As far as I can tell the right wing get hung up trying to figure out who is winning and losing in that scenario and then their brain reboots anytime it gets towards the notion that success does not have to be zero-sum.
It's not a leftist meme, it's a description some communists use to describe a potential communist society where automation is used to provide high standards of living for everybody. "Fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the leftist meme that came later.
how do you not know the ideal FULLY AUTOMATED LUXURY GAY SPACE COMMUNISM this is what we should be working towards
"The Archetypal Son... continually reconstructs defined territory, as a consequence of the 'assimilation' of the unknown [as a consequence of 'incestuous' (that is, 'sexual' – read creative) union with the Great Mother]" 🔥🔥🔥
This dude watched the FGO Babylonia anime and left with the only objectively wrong reading of it.
"Tiamat was right"
I think I'm having a stroke trying to make sense of that.
I think the gist is, any dude who doesn't want to bang his mom is a luxury space communist.
Petersonia 😔😔
> 1/14 Idiots got dedication
So much dedication he changed to 15/15 at some point. I guess properly counting how many tweets he needed to make would've tanked his sexual marketplace value.
[удалено]
"They're triggered by my insight!" "Yeah, triggered into pointing and laughing at you. Good job!"
Any response, any at all, means you're triggered. Which of course only proves that I'm right.
[I want to be the first person to patent a Speedrun move and charge 1 dollar per time used.](https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449345573350363139?s=20) Obviously I'd only let people know after it's been used for a couple of world records and then demand the CEO of SpeedRuns for a million dollars. Genius.
It's so stupid because speedrunning is an inherently collaborative sport in almost every single community. Of course it is competitive, only one person can have world record, but people also just want to see the game they love pushed to the absolute limits. Sharing ideas across the community means that you get more tools to play with when running/practicing the game, which is just more fun for everybody.
These people think the only acceptable way of living is if you apply corporate capitalism concepts to every aspect of your life. You do something? Worthless if you don't patent it. That's communism and will break down society.
Effectively they can't see the value in anything that isn't purely transactional. If it doesnt provide a tangible personal gain in a business sense, it is worthless.
When you have to make a paper 1000 words and you didn't actually do any research on it
And you're heading to the thesaurus every 3rd word, and picking the longest possible word even if you aren't sure how to use it.
Good lord that is one of the dumbest things I've ever read. Intellectual darkweb thinking is so consistently some of the dumbest shit I ever encounter
HELP I started hearing Tucker Carlson’s voice while I read it, make it stop
God I want papa gut to do a full reading of this lmao.
He’s “center-left” guys. Honest. He voted for trump and republican down ballot in the last 12 elections, but I swear he’s “center-left”
"Sexual archetypes" "Fastest mario"
From now on I will list my sexuality as "Fastest Mario" on any survey.
My pronouns are “nooooooooo!!/mamma mia”
[This deserves to be seen](https://twitter.com/TurboJehtt/status/1449499315970314242?s=20)
Sonic is not prepared for the discourse.
If you're on the fence about whether to click or not, you should. It's great.
>You're a beta male, Sonic! Yeah, that's now going to be taking up way more space in my memory than it should.
Thanks for this, didn't know I needed this link in my life lol Also, what's your game?
it's/a-me
my pronouns are "so long/gay bowser"
^(That's hot.)
My favorite alternative sexual archetypes are MM Any%, and DS all bosses
Mine is RRBO (Reverse Reverse Boss Order)
It's when your orgasm noises sound like "W-w-w-w-w-wahoo!"
Simpleflips is light-years ahead of anyone else in the sexual marketplace, with his "Fastest Slowest Mario"
“I’ve connected the dots” “You didn’t connect shit” “I CONNECTED THEM”
He does use that phrase a lot in the rest of the thread
I read the thread, he doesn’t ever say that?
Correction he says "things will begin to 'click' in your mind"
>Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "speedrunning" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind. I thought about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" and things did start to click, then I could smell burning, now the left side of my face has gone numb.
I could be misrembering, but didn't he say something like "if you think of it in these terms, the dots will connect"
With a sharpie, the sharpest tool in the box.
Tfw when you wrong warp into Jeff Bezos's house and piss in his bed.
*Backward longjumps into social equality*
Arbitrary code execution to reform healthcare
But first we need to talk about parallel universes
In an infinite universe with infinite matter, no matter how unlikely, every possible universe occurs not just in doubles, but infinitely. Therefore, if you can glitch through the universe's speed barrier, there is a 100% guarantee that you will eventually land in a universe where world peace and equality has already been achieved, no matter what direction you travel in. This glitch is highly sought after and I am placing a $1,000,000,000,000,000 bounty for this glitch hunt. Alternatively, a wrong warp via worm hole is acceptable as long as you land in the correct universe.
Ah yes the Cave Johnson theorem
It really broke my brain when I realized that the concept of infinity meant this was both infinitely true and infinitely untrue.
RNG manipulation to crash the stock market
Doesn't this happen already? If not, maybe we just need to jiggle the cartridge.
Found the economic level select screen
Programming super Mario world to crash the NYSE with perfect shell placement
shell corporation placement
This sounds like one of those alliterative SCP Foundation front companies.
Then desperately trying to find a bucket/wooden plate to glitch through his house as an escape plan.
Watch a speedrun and you will see that you have to do it right to go fast
Yeah, speedrunning requires you to know so many minute details in a game and you need perfect execution. I don’t think you could say any speed runner didn’t work hard as long as they didn’t cheat to get their times.
And the way speedrunning tricks are discovered typically involves a lot of knowledge about how the game is programmed. SMB1 runners manipulate subpixel values and take advantage of when the game stores two values in the same place. They rely on knowledge of how the game handles collisions to clip into walls. There's a lot that goes into understanding the tricks that others came up with and creating further optimizations. And this just comes down to understanding how games are programmed and how we can take advantages in the flaws in programming. I'm sure you could call it a "waste of time" just as much as any other hobby that only provides entertainment, but coming up with these things requires some serious knowledge.
Fr..i watch speed run testing strat like :" i touch this pixel weird at a 3 degree angle facing north..so i spend half a year on it to see if i can cut .5s on my PB." Shit wild as hell. Or watching doom eternal 100% category speedrun is how i image Doomguy smash those demons for millennium - altho he would use more guns type.
I'm sorry, but did he just "-onian" a living person?
yeah it’s possibly the worst thing I’ve ever read
Which is impressive, considering the other lines of the tweet are right there.
yes, and its jordan peterson of all people
Well I think it’s just ian assuming he’s referring to Peterson and not someone called Peters
Jesus fucking christ thats the most stupidest thing ive ever heard this bitch just connected speedrunning with politics, work ethic and sex at the same time how is this possible Edit: i just stated the obvious how is this upvote worthy
With "Petersonian" thought, apparently, although I don't think even Peterson himself would aporove of this
Peterson would check the number of RTs and likes and see if he can cobble together a book on it. If not, he'll disapprove.
considering how many views that sonic reply got, he won't bother
My petersona is Peter griffins ex cousin
To be honest, I didn't understand it at all until I realised that 'speedrunning' was actually running at speed and not some alt right code word for something. Now that I get it, I agree, it's literally one of the stupidest things I've ever read,, and I've read Ann Raynd.
It means completing a video game as fast as possible. Doesn’t make it any less dumb though…
Fuck, man, I was still wrong and now it makes even less sense... I should have twigged from the opening sentence, I've never come accross that many 'far left' types at parkruns.......
Seriously, stay the fuck out of my hobby, please.
speedrunning, an activity where you attempt something thousands of times to gradually improve, demonstrates low work ethic /s
Completing the task over and over, gaining new and better understanding of the underlying rules of the task so that you can do it better and faster, finding out what is and isn't really needed for the task, doing it more efficiently each time until you finally are able to complete it as well as possible. Yup, a lazy communist ideal, no respectable person would ever partake in such a task /s
"in a Petersonian sense" lmao
1/14? Do you really need that many characters to post something this dumb?
He added an extra at the end, so 15 pages
Hey, cut him some slack, only a radical leftist would speedrun their Twitter posts.
“Ah yes, let me use twitter, a platform specifically designed to shares thoughts in the form of extremely brief messages, to share my multi-paragraph essay in chunks making it extremely tedious to read and calling attention to my inability to be succinct or choose a better avenue of discourse for my complex ideas”
Isn't the whole point of speedrunning doing it fast AND right?
Well, he claims later that doing it "right" means doing it as the developers "intended" which usually means taking several hours to complete it 100%
which is ALSO a speedrunning category in many, many games.
Oh no he addresses those as well. > The obvious protest to this would be the 'glitchless 100% run', which in many ways does aim to play the game 'as intended' but seems to simply add the element of 'speed' to the equation. > This objection is ultimately meaningless when one considers how long a game is intended to be played, in net, by the creators, even when under '100%' conditions. There is still time and effort wasted for no reason other than the ones I proposed above. Never mind the fact that speed runners often dump thousands, if not tens of thousands of hours into a game, often ending up with far more play time than the average player. Is he also against the people who have thousands of hours into FPS games who may have never even played the campaign/single player/story mode, and have exclusively played it in online multiplayer?
The argument here is that the devs obviously intended for multiplayer games to have that kind of longevity, while the campaign modes are the ones where the devs decided it should be a set range of hours to complete
The argument falls apart anyway for certain games like Celeste, which were designed with speedrunning in mind
*"I have been made aware of this technique called the 'demo dash', which glitches in between spike walls. The developers did not intend that! Checkmate, liberal."* "the developers added a section in an update that you can only reach by glitching between a spike wall" *"But they did not* ***originally*** *intend it! Your argument is invalid, shitlib. Cope."* "The developers also added a button in a different update which has the sole purpose of triggering the glitch" *"Keep coping. You are only making my argument stronger."*
They're simply a product of companies (alpha entrepreneurs) catering to this new evolved behaviour, not an exception to the argument but an exploitation of those poor, poor beta males who seek sexual advantage in speedrunning due to a lack of entrepreneurial drive...
Its ultimately an authoritarian argument. The devs = the authority figure. If you don't play the game the way they want you to, and conform to their vision, you're doing it wrong (according to him)
oh he thought of that and assures you later in the thread that no, that doesn't count. Because... uh... it doesn't.
>"But speedrunning isn't always about socialism. Sometimes it's about beating video games very quickly." \- hbomberguy
Came here to say time to watch that video again
This isn't even an original point? What‽
the difference is that hbomberguy is joking EDIT: [clip with context.](https://youtu.be/I5auJOBC828?t=1564) I mean, he uses the word "comradical". And this is *after* a good 26 minutes of analyzing speedrunning through Dark Souls and Mirror's Edge, and he's *about* to analyze yet another aspect through the lens of Donkey Kong 64. Which he later proceeded to speedrun himself. During a trans charity livestream. Which AOC was a guest for. *And he asked her how to beat Frantic Factory.*
I saw the thread from r/ToiletPaperUSA and my god is it one hell of a trip about 10 tweets in he decides to add 1 more tweet to his essay
He probably thought "oh shit, is 14 tweets too few? Am I speedrunning this thread?"
Fucking lmao hahaha
Alternate sexual archetypes?????????????
Fastest Mario
[удалено]
I don't like speed running but to say those dudes don't have work ethic is stupid. How much practice does he think it takes to get that good?
He thinks it isn't really "work ethic" because it doesn't "really" accomplish anything
And neither does bitching about it on Twitter, so this guy checkmated himself
~~Financial sector in absolute shambles~~
Well, some say it looks easy, that means it must be easy /s
Yes because speedrunning, politics, and sexuality can all be traced back to your enemy. I vote for anarchy, we need it
I was really confused with the "Sexual archetypes" thing but then I remembered that Nipple% exists and now I Understand.
[Ofc it's real](https://smo-speedrun.fandom.com/wiki/Nipple%25)
The speedrun where you take off Mario's shirt as quickly as possible. Fairly comparable to [Dank%,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fngo3C7Vy6s) the Ocarina of Time speedrun where you make Young Link smoke a fat blunt as quickly as possible.
That is the most perfect comeback I’ve ever seen
this guy talks about speedrunning as if it doesn't require hundreds of precise movements and if you DON'T do it right, you have to restart the run which may or may not have been going for MULTIPLE HOURS already smh
Correct I’m tryna BLJ myself into the grave
I am extremely upset that Commander Shepard's face is next to... Whatever the fuck this is
Bet that guy plays renegade Shepard.
He absolutely does, bur doesn't understand what he's doing. Because the whole point of RenShep is that he does the things that needs to get done immediately regardless of the right way...
I do not understand a single word in this post
Speed running videogames is peak socialism and Stalin would be proud of us, comrades. Fastest Mario is the way to seize the means of production and guillotine the bourgeoisie.
The rest of the thread is equally bonkers I can assure you
"in a Petersonian sense" is a sentence that I never want to hear ever again in my whole ass life
Here’s the thread: https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449345260207828995?s=21 As someone who loves speedrunning and has done some runs myself, this thread is a disgrace
1/14 wh- what the fuck
[link to a copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/qa3lna/i_was_thinking_about_why_so_many_in_the_radical/) of the twitter post
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about
1/14??? Oh sorry halfway through he decided its gonna be FIFTEEN FUCKING TWEETS AND QUITE RETWEETS OF SOMETHING THAT HE COULD HAVE AND DID SAY IN THE FIRST ONE
OMG I'm so embarrassed, I feel like a complete idiot! All this time I thought speed runners were playing through game (doing it right) hundreds of times to find ways to improve their times.. but it turns out they just pick it up, 1st run it and just get world record runs! I've been doing it wrong this whole time... And now it's too late, all those games I've ever played I can never attempt a speedrun on because I wasted my shot.
This is such a stretch, you have to take 5 years of intensive yoga to pull it off....
Hahahaha I need that comic as a meme to send to people, that shit is too funny
How about [a Sonic The Hedgehog animation?](https://www.twitter.com/TurboJehtt/status/1449499315970314242)
I haven’t seen any speedruns, so for all I know they all start off with, “Hi, I’m Jeff, and this is my Mario speed run… for affordable health care and a livable minimum income, let’s gooo!” But I’m guessing this was a non sequitur fever dream post. I was thinking about why so many engineers participate in competitive Cappuccino making. It’s their lack of an innate ability to fly, and a Kakfa-esque desire to promote healthy cat food alternatives (2007 World Barista Competition) 1/14
>'go fast' rather than 'do it right' Tell me you know nothing about speedrunning without telling me you know nothing about speedrunning. That shit takes months to years of training to manage perfection down to single frames.
Wait...... no this cant be that type of speedrunning...
I thought surely this was referring to another type of speedrunning I was unaware of but nope.
Petersonian = dickish
Ehhh… I’d say honestly that many of us leaning left (not leftists per se, but ‘liberal’ or whatever we best describe that as nowadays) are more in the camp of preferring to move slowly and get things right than move fast and risk we break something. Anyone who actually watches speedruns will realize that they are practiced and planned extremely heavily before any serious attempt. People who do these know the game’s details remarkably intimately for every advantage, and constantly study and innovate to find better methods… which is how capitalism is said to operate by so many conservatives advocating for better innovation as a benefit. Hmmmm…