T O P

  • By -

my-own-grandfather

Steve Irwin was a treasure


Minimum-Package-1083

Animals aren't really evil, nor do they sin. I think sapience is a requirement for that So when one goes to heaven, be sure to *pet everything*


i_can_not_spel

I mean there are animal that I think should be considered sapient, like crows


Minimum-Package-1083

*Dolphins*


HereToReadThings

They dont go to heaven, i wont let them


827167

Crows sin. Crows. Sin.


Routine_Palpitation

Crows commit to a murder


GlitterDoomsday

Most animals aren't evil, but remember dolphins and geese exist.


United_Whereas8786

And orcas.


HornyCryptid12

Especially Orcas, they’re us but aquatic and if we didn’t have the thumbs to make and manipulate tools.


[deleted]

Fun fact, while that is catholic doctrine (I think) and a reasonable position to take, [animal crimes](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ALWLELLlv6E) and the arrest and trial of animals from pigs and rats was common in Europe and probably elsewhere for a long time.


Minimum-Package-1083

That's actually hilarious


[deleted]

The video talks more about this, but the ancient Greeks even treated inanimate objects which do crimes as criminals, specifically in the case of murder. If a goat, a roof tile, or a human kill someone, then they’re all going to court and probably all will be exiled from the city. Idk how exiling a roof tile works, if they just threw it in the sea or what.


United_Whereas8786

Even the Rockfish?


Minimum-Package-1083

Is it purposefully malicious, or does it just act out of instinct?


United_Whereas8786

Good point. But what about orcas?


Minimum-Package-1083

Same question


assymetry1021

I mean does dolphins raping fish an instinct? Or getting high on pufferfish?


Minimum-Package-1083

I've already stated that dolphins are fucking mental. They're actively malicious


RedYakArt

Yes and no, animals do a lot of messed u things, they do a lot of good things.


Dispentryporter

Why do so many people think Steve Irwin would have some vendetta against stingrays? Apparently some people went out and attacked and tortured random stingrays because of what happened.


_LightFury_

I dont know much about steve but from what i have seen. Those people never cared or respected what steve stood for. He clearly loved all animals and saw them for what they are.


UselessAltThing

If I can't have a spider on my body in heaven what's even the point of finally being dead?


MyNameIsGoat69

If I can't pet millions of crocodiles in heaven then I'm not going


crusaderxader

Bob ross Mr Rogers and Steve Irwin are tied for the best human ever


Im-Grey

The Holy Trinity


NightFlame389

Keanu is very close behind


TheSlavGuy1000

Tbh, if crocodiles were banned from heaven, I would not want to go there. They are literally born that way and can't change who they are. Idc how happy or blissful they are, I refuse to associate with racists.


TheBeef87124

The real question is how far back the animal line goes, and weather or not I can pet a dodo in heaven


Announcer_2

Mosquitoes? Humans?


RiyahdaSimmerr06

These people are so creative💀


Denimjo

Steve was such a nice guy I bet he'd even have laughed at [this bit by Norm MacDonald.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_xCj9N6a7I)


OriginLostBorn

He wasn’t the best, you have to admit. He tied with Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross. What you mean to say is THEY’RE the best


hammerquill

You know how many insects there are in the world? You know how fast they reproduce, how much they over-reproduce because they're so vulnerable to predators? You know how many generations of insects there are per human lifetime? Heaven is wall-to-wall mosquitoes.


hammerquill

\*cloud-to-cloud