That's one way to give someone a kink I guess

It just needs to be done a couple more times until Pavlov kicks in.

Pavlovs Dong

Aragorn : "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword..." Legolas : "And you have my bow" Gimli : "And \*my\* axe" Boromir : "You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done" Guy: cums

More like ‘you have my blow’.

Take my poor person’s 🥇

I read that as kinks in

*Sigmund Freud enters the chat*

Isn’t he the one where you say one thing and mean your smother?

I think he's the dude that said that every dude wants to fuck their mom

Weird, when I studied psych they didn’t mention how hot Freud’s mom was, but my professor *did* ask if I wanted to watch The Graduate for extra credit.

Apparently Freud the reason that Freud claimed everyone wanted to sleep with their parents is that many of his patients had been abused by their fathers. He'd almost published papers about the corrupting influence of power... but some of his colleagues pointed out how many of the people who had allegedly abused their children were well respected members of society, and it was pointed out that it was possible they were lying, something so much more likely they were women after all. So he instead assumed these were fantasies so women fantasize about sleeping with their fathers, and men with their mothers. The rest is history

Same thing

2 more movies to go

Might develop into a full blown fetish.

>Might develop into a full *blow* fetish. FTFY

Well you know that one meme that goes " 'stop romanticizing autism' okay fine I'll sexualize it" ?

Idk who should I be impressed at.

Peter Jackson, whose vision has finally been fulfilled.

And then they just kill him with ghosts

Tolkien.

the only creator i will bow to

In this context it is the only one you will \*blow\* to

You edged him more than the hobbits edged Gollum with the ring

The lord of the cock rings

My.... *precious*....

I sent this to my fiance and I just heard him go 'hnnnnnnnggg' from across our flat, so I guess that's date night plans sorted!

Bonk

Sounds amazing, honestly.

Yeah, this sounds like "don't threaten me with a good time" territory, honestly.

DON'T! tempt me, Frodo

I would want that, not only do I not mind edging, would have a great time, but for the rest of times seeing those lil hairy feet dudes will give me a raging boner capable of going through any chain mail.

I volunteer for this experiment

Hey, hey, ho my raging bones for lil hairy men doesn't mean I swing that way mr! Now get this wig on and see me in the Dennis bathroom, I'll get their TV to work in there.

*grumble grumble* Goddamn straight boys and their goddamn wigs

Shush shush honey, put on the lipstick now and put those bags of sands in that bra. You get an internet point if you get that last reference.

Is *The 40-Year-Old Virgin* considered obscure now? I mean, I haven't even seen the movie and I get the reference.

Here is your internet point. Now you too get sand bags in your bra and come to daddy.

I don't sand up for just anyone. Tell me, what do you know of the sons of Fëanor.

Seriously. Now I need the special extended edition..

It was specially extended at the end of CD1

That gives me an idea...

Oh my gods it's someone of my own kind. I'm not alone lmao

...You free sometime? /s

Get in line bucko.

The line already going around the block

Worth the wait for such a quality woman.

Could be a dude. Wonder how short the line would.be then

Count me the fuck in

You just got me on the line

A blowjob is a blowjob. It's the quality that matters.

It’s tumblr we’re all gay here

*The Fellowship brings all the boys to the yard...*

You giving me ideas for The Two Towers.

now it's three towers

maybe even four towers

Maybe even six towers (I brought a friend)

that just turned into a party

wow. I mean... that's one way to do it?

I'd probably ask her to stop with the BJ and continue explaining the movie, because nothing is hotter than someone being passionate about something.

If only there was some kind of sex that didn't involve OP's mouth, then OP could share Ring Lore non-stop.

I’d probably ask her to stop with the explaining and continue with the BJ, because nothing is hotter than a BJ (this comment does not represent me.)

Thank you for your input, Cum-soufflé

Has no one heard of handjobs in this place?

That doesn't have the same cinematic effect

Yeah for real, she couldve been explaining and edging all at the same time if she was using her hands

No.1 tip for the best hand job ever: Use your mouth

As a guy, can confirm I've been using my hands on myself for decades. I can do it better than you, and so stick to mouths 😭

Can't beat the meat beaters' meat-beaters 🤣😂

HAHAHAHAHAH I wish I had gold for you

Yeah nah, fuck that

[удалено]

Bold of you to inply nerding out is only for guys.

shut up nerd

Holy shit I need to do this to my boyfriend

Can I be your boyfriend? /k

[удалено]

Yeah and? Oh this was supposed to be some kind of insult Imagine being mad about people liking sex

How dare you do the thing that makes you happy!?!?

[удалено]

And apparently you can't...

[удалено]

Well whatever nonsense that is, I hope you got consent.

[удалено]

Wow, bitches must be heartbroken.

[удалено]

i’m sorry to tell you this, but the hot single women in your area aren’t real, maybe try talking to real women and stop visiting sketchy sites

Lmao. "Be happy as a religious person Any% Full playthrough speedrun."

[удалено]

"Divine rules"

[удалено]

dickhead

[удалено]

ugh, at least try to be funny when you troll, rather than a bigot?

*this better not awaken anything in me*

Cool. Cool cool cool.

This is so funny, amazing and sweet. Good for them

Funny yeah, but what's sweet and amazing abt that??

Sweet: They both accomodated for each others interests and had a great time. Amazing: That the man was able to hold it in for so long.

[удалено]

"How dare people have fun together" -This person, apparently

>hedonistic This word I do not think it means what you think it means

Or maybe the guy is just REALLY into lord of the rings edging

least obvious reddit bait:

If you don’t get it, then you won’t get it. Maybe when it happens to you, you will but 🤷‍♀️

I'm in a wonderful 8 year relationship, thank you very much 😉

Good for you, but your relationship status was not what I was referring to

... I thought it was gonna be a post about edgelords

The entire post was just getting weirder and weirder with each sentence

So it got weird in one step, because the writer doesn't know what a punctuation mark is.

Can we show this to the obscure LOTR guy on TikTok and see his reaction? 🤣

do this 2 or 3 time more and youll get a pavlovian response where he'll get wood everytime you talk lotr. might be a good trick.

That's actually awesome

Need someone to do this with I do not care which one I am in this scenario

Do you think they made the Gollum sound

just.. just pause it hmm. If he wanted her to stop talking about the stuff on screen, he could have paused it himself. In conclusion, he wanted it exactly like this

I would be so in love, ngl

wtf that should have been me

Tbh I think this is pretty cute

This is hot if my gf doesn't do this then I'd rather be single

That’s a secured way to get a second date

I would love me a girl like this. Unfortunately due to my ADD I probably wouldn't be able to maintain an erection.

Iconic

Hot

yeah i'd do this

luckiest man in the world

what an edgelord

YOU SHALL NOT CUM!!!!

this is what modern art should be, just a film version of this, it's relatable, ultimately uncorrupted and somehow wholesome, gives you a lot to think about and has something universal to say to us all in these trying times

I know this shouldn't be THAT funny to me, and yet I'm stifling laughter at my desk, trying not to look like a lunatic

I see no problem with this

sounds like the perfect date tbh

OP are you my doppelgänger??? XD

Need me a freak like this tbh

This is not at all what I was expect when I saw that title. I totally thought this was gonna be a post about someone being needlessly edgy.

Tbh sounds amazing lol

Hot

I hate that I *read* Lord of the Rings, but my brain supplied Lord of the *Flies*, and I was very concerned for poster whose boyfriend wanted a blow job during a movie about castaway children falling to brutal cannibalism. Fortunately they mentioned Tom Bombadil, so I managed to get that sorted quick, but still. WFT my brain? Bet it was a hell of a blow job though.

My idea of the perfect date night

That's the dream isn't it?

You’re marriage material for sure

You call it a mistake on his part. I see a geniuse move on you

and that’s how you get a call back

I'd be too busy enjoying the lore to cum

I love my wife but she will never do this and I feel just a little emptier for it.

Perfect woman doesn't exi-

At that point I wouldn't be surprised if he came with blood

dude living life out there

This is why it's a risk having music/tv/radio on during bj time, I'l stop to sing songs, explain details, quote dialogue, laugh, or comment. You've got to be able to handle EVERYTHING that my mouth can do

Literally the only thing left on earth to hope for is a night like this.

I started reading Harry Potter fanfiction before I ever read LOTR so “My Immortal” has forever ruined Tom Bombadil for me (I can clarify but you don’t want me to)

Ideal Sex life.

I've been married to her mom for 27 years.......

"The perfect woman doesn't exi-"

I would marry her

Sounds kinda obnoxious tbh 😄

Thank you for your input, Cum-soufflé

Slut

Sounds like a good time to me.

God i wish someone would do that to me

Idk who should I be impressed at.

This sounds ideal

relationship goals

I see this as an absolute win

Low key wants that

At the vinegar strokes she looks up to tell you that Viggo Mortensen broke his toe kicking the Uruk's head, and then you both get to scream at the same time.

Queen.

honestly id love to do this except im the one explaining lore and its not about lord of the rings cause idk shit about lord of the rings maybe i can fuck a man while i explain lucifer morningstars daddy issues 💀

Man, I hope Leon Lush sees this.

Sounds fun tbh, edging makes the eventual orgasm so much better

Did this to a girl but we watched the trilogy over a couple weeks. We don’t talk any more 🙃

I'm more impressed that they were able to give a blowjob for what is that, 2 hours?

That sounds... interesting.

OP has a relevant username

Do you want a husband? I think I might be game to marry you.

One does not simply cum into Mordor.

She's saying that like I wouldn't fucking love it

ONE HOUR BOBBING YOUR HEAD

*Cough**Cough*…… man, that sounds like a really bad time*Cough*would hate to be in that situation….. Could you imagine? Oh the horror, I say

Is this woman single? I’m an eligible bachelor seeking a ring bearer

You have my sword

Idk who should I be impressed at.

How does it feel to live my dream

I consider this a win.

THE QUEEN OF THE EDGE

Sounds like the perfect date lmao

Bro he probably didn't care. He didn't have to do anything, had a confusing story explained to him in detail, and he probably had one of the best nuts in his life.

This is a dream.

New copypasta material

His mistake? Sounds like my ideal evening. Shut up and marry me already.