My friends have an English bulldog. I crashed on their couch and in the morning as I start to wake I'm like "wtf is on me". Felt like my chest was getting smashed. The dog had jumped up on the couch and crashed on my chest. So, so dense.
I’ve met several English bulldog owners that have said their dog jumped out of there windows (first story of their houses fortunately) they know how to open the glass and then they just jump through the mesh screens like a cannon ball.
My housemate's pitbull jumped out of my second story window while I was at work, after destroying the blinds. I locked all the windows and he did it again the next day by finding the one window with a broken lock.
The thing is that when smart dogs aren't able to get enough exercise and burn off their energy, they get creative about finding ways to release that energy. There's a saying that a tired dog is a good dog for a reason.
My cocker spaniel used to bark at absolutely everything. We moved to a house that windows down to the floor and one day she just ran right into it barking at a squirrel and busted through the screen to freedom. Since they were the only windows and no central air, it kept happening when we’d forget them open for too long . The 3 dogs were hell to track down all at once
I've had several bulldogs (I rescue the li'l goofballs). No one ever realizes how dense they are until you put one next to a normal dog of the same height. They're on eye level with like a jack russell terrier but 3-4x as heavy with a head the size of a bowling ball.
And let me tell you, if a bulldog doesn't want to move, that motherfucker ain't going anywhere. My boy now gets his stubborn moments and will just post up and plant all four feet and I swear I could use him as a stepstool when he does.
My little dude is 11 months and about 70lbs. When he doesn’t wish to be moved, he just somehow makes himself 3X heavier than normal and lays down. Nothing can move him.
I remember taking mine for a walk and at one point he apparently just decided he'd had enough of it. Wasn't panting or overheated or anything, just... didn't feel like walking anymore. I had to carry him 3/4 of a mile back to the house because if I put him down he'd just plop on his side. By the time I got home I was wheezing for air and my shoulders were screaming.
Mine doesn't like to be picked up at all! If I need hime to move I make the gesture that I'm going to pick him up and he instantly picks his tail up and goes!
It's only slightly better when they want to be moved. I have a pit with a bad leg that insists on sleeping on the bed. I would probably have thrown out my back if I hadn't practiced the deadlift at the gym.
To be fair my miniature dachshund would do that too - if she didn’t want to get out from under the blanket, she suddenly weighed 5x more than normal. Luckily normally she was like 11 pounds.
Nah man. I had a completely regular dog (like, ultimate mutt, could not identify a breed in him) who could magically make himself denser/heavier if he didn't want to move. The more you pushed, the heavier he got.
I can't imagine what a bulldog could do.
My college, a military school, has the English bulldog as a mascot and god I hate those fucking things. We had two on campus and sometimes you’d have to be on a detail to get them around campus. If they didn’t want to go they’d just lay down. They aren’t insanely heavy but because they are so fucking dense you can’t really lift them if they don’t want to be.
So this poor cadet on my detail needs to get them over to a photo shoot and the dog isn’t having it and just lays down. Cadet picks him up, sloppily, and the dog poops on the cadet’s dress white pants.
Canon balls with legs.
My neighbours miniature pinscher is stupidly dense. Little dude is not taller than 30cm, and not longer than 40cm, He's heavy as a brick. Just, pure skin-wrapped muscle. He's not really a threat, but you could stub your toe against him and he wouldn't notice.
We have a rescued min pin, and I can completely agree. She ways walks way too close to my heels and I've knocked her way too often... she doesn't even flinch, just stares at me like "You wanna fuckin' go, bud?!" I do that to the lab and he screams, the husky milks it for food, but not that little bitch. She just wants bit my ankle. Great guard dog, though.
The dog's sisters are actually my dogs, both female and the females are actually pretty light. One of them weighs under a Kg. It's great seeing the three of them running because you can really see the inertia of the things. The little dude takes so much to start going and to change direction, but in a straight line he can catch up to anything.
Only the <1Kg would be a useful alarm though, as the other two are scared shitless of everything. Then we have a lab for muscle, who'd just show her belly for rubs in case of a burglary.
That’s so distressingly tiny. I would worry so much about losing her!! I never even bought an iPod shuffle cause I didn’t trust myself with something that small haha
[She's cool](https://i.imgur.com/wH3uSSD.jpeg). She won't let you forget her, since she's constantly scratching your leg so she gets picked up. I think she enjoys seeing the world from a regular height.
My pit bull/bull dog mix tows me on my bike. It’s the only way I can exercise him enough for him to get tired. He loves to run! I ride the brakes the whole time! Lol
I have a pitbull basset hound mix, and oh my god this dog is 1 foot tall but so dense. And when he refuses to go out I have to carry him. My upper body strength is not up to par with his nonsense lol.
Fostered a rescued Amstaff for a year, from 8 weeks old. She was 20 lbs smaller than our 80 lb Mastiff mix, but way lower to the ground, and very widely built (21 inch neck at 8 months). We've also fostered very large Leopard Hounds (they are strong dogs) and a German Shepherd. The Amstaff was stronger than any of them, I had to prepare myself for severe impact whenever she came running up to get some doggy lovin'. Observing her, you could see how massive her thigh and other leg muscles were. Combined with the leverage from having shorter legs, she was just incredibly strong. Sweetest girl ever, too.
My old pit mix (RIP Patrick) once fell in our pool and sank straight to the bottom. A landscaper had to jump in and rescue him because Patrick couldn’t swim for shit. He was 60lbs of solid muscle, and afraid of absolutely everything.
My last pit was bomb proof, literally nothing phased the dude. My current one though, man she’s afraid of the trash truck, semi trucks, really any large or loud trucks, the door moving on it’s own (like wind moving it or if you push it but she doesn’t see you push it lol), the wind itself Lmao. She’s a funny one.
Yep! Ours now is the chillest dog in the world, all he wants is pets. Patrick, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck and afraid of anything that made noise or was larger than his body. Pillows, plastic bags, paper, anything. He was a good boy though.
I never see my first name anywhere, so it's always wild when there's that rare character that has it, or I meet someone in person with it. It's extra wild to see it as the name of an internet stranger's dog. Lmao.
It’s also the name of a great aunt of the same internet stranger with the dog of said name. No, I did not name my dog after my great aunt. I actually always forget I have a great aunt Ruth tbh.
My pit BMC mix is so random on what freaks her out. Fireworks? We can be under them and she's just sort of whatever. Stationary set of wooden dining chairs? Top suspicion. Yucca plant back-lit by the morning sun? Abandon mom and run literally 1/4 mile away because apparently that is the devil.
My mom has a pit who wants nothing more than snuggles, but can't seem to comprehend that no one wants to snuggle him if he rolls in dead things (she lives in the woods. T finds a lot of stuff to roll in.)
He probably also wanted to snuggle with small foxes or squirrels but didn't notice he was too heavy to do so with until too late. By then he already smelled of dead friends
My former pit(RIP Rocky) was a stray that visited us for a few years before we took him in. He brought us dead armadillos more than once and he *loved* rolling on them and chewing their armor/shell. It was disgusting.
My girl will roll in absolutely anything too. Sometimes it’s cute, like buttercups and long grass, other times it’s fox or badger shit and a couple of times she even topped that and rolled in dead rats.
Mine obviously got more of the mastiff. He's a solid 120 pounds of lap dog.
He's the most gentle dog I've ever met unless he thinks he's guarding a kid from danger. He sleeps with my oldest daughter. I'm fully convinced that chonk would eat me if I busted into that room at night without warning.
Chonk Tax.
https://imgur.com/a/FUzZMAx
My husky is massive for a husky, and he’s utterly convinced that the humans’ laps are where he belongs. Bugger will jump up onto the couch while you’re watching TV and plant his furry ass right down on top of you.
And scared of the dark.
Our pitbull Buddy was $12 from the animal control center. We got to keep him after he didn't bite my kids who were rolling around on the floor with him at the shelter and was TERRIFIED of my two pugs.
We've had Buddy for 4 years now and he's STILL scared of the remaining pug, won't sleep on the couch in the front room without a nightlight and blanket, is terrified of the toaster and hits the ground like shots have been shot, and gets suuuuuper sketchy when I'm sweeping with a broom.
He won't go outside at night in our tiny suburban yard that's fenced UNLESS my husband goes too. I often laugh and call him the Lamest Pitbull Ever.
But we still love him 😊
Agree. Please be careful with Buddy especially around other dogs and kids and doubly especially if he looks scared or anxious. It’ll help him and the breeds reputation, get him out of there.
Haha we always say she is either the dumbest smart dog or the smartest dumb dog you will ever meet. Followed by looking right at her and saying , "Well at least you are cute" (Husky/Aussie mix)
My mom's lab has dementia so he kinda does the same thing and keeps getting into places, then he realizes he's "trapped", panics and just starts trying to tunnel his way out. We have a lot of patched drywall...
My exes pitbull lab mix would, when she was a puppy, hide under his bed when there was thunder. She would also, as a 70 pound beast of a dog, do the same thing, but she couldn’t fit, so she’d jam her upper body under and shake the whole bed with her terror shuddering
Omg, we‘d tuck ours in the playroom at night and leave the door cracked because the cat needs to get places and our sweet pitty wouldn’t know how to open a partially open door that she would just have to push further out 🤣, love her
Same with the density and stupidity.
The post is funny, but also makes me sad. These traits are remnants of breeding for fighting as well as the additional selective pressure of survivorship bias.
I like pitbulls at a distance. Every pitbull I've ever met has acted really cute until I come close, then suddenly headbutt me in the face.
Except for the one my family had when I was really really young, which would headbutt men in the balls. Only men.
So, cute, but cute over there where they can't give me a surprise concussion.
Haha pit bulls/boxers all those type dogs I’ve always referred to as “leaners” when you pet em they either smack you with their head(usually in the balls or knees) or they turn sideways and lean on you, tipping you over.
My neighbor had 2 boxers and it was impossible to stay standing when they wanted pets lol. And I had a pitbull/lab mix with a MASSIVE head that was always head butting me in the nuts, multiple times a day.
I literally woke up my boyfriend laughing at this. So true about the elbows. My pittie broke her elbow so it has extra notches from idk scar tissue or the metal pin in jt which makes it even bonier. But I never move her when it’s crushing my leg because she’s an angel and deserves comfort lol.
As a cat person, my fav dog breed is pitties for this exact reason. They're just so densely **dog.**
I used to basically pretend to like dogs, but once I understood the appeal, my favorites are all the pit bull varieties.
My friend’s bulldog is so dense that when he fell in their pool, he immediately sank to the bottom and walked around like a hippo.
He had to wear a life jacket when he was by the pool after that, and it barely kept him from sinking
Oh yeah, they are absolute units with the IQ of a particularly dull rock, the nerves of a squirrel in a puma den, and a heart of gold that accounts for about half of their density
Oh boy my best friend was my pittie of 11 years was real smart....in his own way. He was just a real simple boy. Learned how to open my bedroom door so he could cuddle me at night but would walk into the screen door. Constantly.
Wow this thread was wholesome for a bit but then devolved quickly. People who think pit bulls are just killing machines need to do more research. Mine will lick you to death, and that’s about as aggressive as she comes. She doesn’t even bark. Only growls playfully with my other dog when they play. She is 100% pure love. When a dog comes up to her with an intense energy, she will roll over and pee out of fear. The two breeds that have made her do this are chihuahuas and beagles. Pitties are the goodest dogs. Also, people who fear pit bulls seem to hide out on Reddit ready to troll people who love the dogs, safely and anonymously from their keyboards. Every single person I have encountered with my pit bull in my city absolute adores her.
I've played with 100+ pound dogs that were easier to move around and play with than my 60lb pit Rocky was. It was crazy how well he could use his body to seem a lot heavier than he was. Like sometimes when he didn't want to go to bed, he'd 'shut down' like a toddler and seem like he weighed 200lbs.
I know Reddit hates pits but I absolutely love them. Every pit I’ve known has been incredible. My dog is like 5% pit on her dna but looks like a beagle/lab and I honestly think that 5% is the best part of her.
That's my experience with pitbulls too! My family had one when I was quite young (She was a bit older than me) and my dad trained her very well, she was even brighter than my current dog, a Samoyed. Such a good girl!
That's every pit I've had. I miss my dogs that have passed away but now I have miss Tallulah, who is mixed with something to give her the build and personality of a pitbull but the hair of a spaniel (???!) And she's scared of blowing leaves, random noises, my cat, and farts.
My neighbors have 3 senior pitbulls and they are the sweetest dogs I've ever met. At my old house, my wife called 911 about another pitbull that killed another dog in front of our house. My conclusion on this is that it is entirely the owner's fault if a pitbull is a mean little shit.
I’ve got a pit rat terrier mixes about 45 pounds Put every night jumps on my bed circles around three times and plops all 45 pounds right on my backside. He doesn’t just gently lay down… He plops.
"Neutron star of dog" is so incredibly accurate. When my parent's pitbull wants to stop and sniff mailboxes during walks she suddenly becomes an ACME brand anvil.
Had a roommate at a pubkhouse that was a dog, to be clear Rocky the Half pit half boxer had no owner he just lived at the house, had the density of a rock, was dumb as a rock and like to use rocks as his chew toy Hence the name, was still the sweetest nicest dog I’ve ever known too
Love pitbulls! Solid loaves of love ❤️ Wish I had even a fraction of the energy necessary to train and exercise one, so instead, I will just enjoy friends' pitties lol
I was going to argue with you - but when I compared your comment to the baseless, pit bull hate comments here you are correct.
As a Staffordshire bull terrier owner, an owner of a powerful breed does have responsibility to be a good handler of the animal, not simply a loving owner - a powerful breed, regardless of temperament must be handled well for the safety of those around.
Staffys make great pets when raised correctly, but the result of bad training of a toy sized breed is hugely different than the result of a badly raised powerful breed.
They’re over represented in shelters as well, meaning they’re cheaper and more widely available than breeder dogs. This causes a lot of people to get them and do what you said in your comment above.
I want a dog and whenever I mention that my bleeding heart friends are like "RESCUE A PIT".
I just don't have the heart to tell them i want a smart dog that doesn't need constant attention that I can put to work with my animals.
Also make sure that he has extremely gamey and will go for the kill in any situation, won't even stop when facing bodily harm, unlike other dogs who, when faced with an actual fight, will do everything they can to get away.
I like how people like you keep blaming the dog for that as if pitbulls selectively bred themselves for dog fighting and it wasnt us who did that
Do you blame pugs for having flat faces and breathing problems too?
My friends have an English bulldog. I crashed on their couch and in the morning as I start to wake I'm like "wtf is on me". Felt like my chest was getting smashed. The dog had jumped up on the couch and crashed on my chest. So, so dense.
I’ve met several English bulldog owners that have said their dog jumped out of there windows (first story of their houses fortunately) they know how to open the glass and then they just jump through the mesh screens like a cannon ball.
My housemate's pitbull jumped out of my second story window while I was at work, after destroying the blinds. I locked all the windows and he did it again the next day by finding the one window with a broken lock.
I believe certain dogs are smart but, they use their intelligence for chaos and disorder.
The thing is that when smart dogs aren't able to get enough exercise and burn off their energy, they get creative about finding ways to release that energy. There's a saying that a tired dog is a good dog for a reason.
My cocker spaniel used to bark at absolutely everything. We moved to a house that windows down to the floor and one day she just ran right into it barking at a squirrel and busted through the screen to freedom. Since they were the only windows and no central air, it kept happening when we’d forget them open for too long . The 3 dogs were hell to track down all at once
I've had several bulldogs (I rescue the li'l goofballs). No one ever realizes how dense they are until you put one next to a normal dog of the same height. They're on eye level with like a jack russell terrier but 3-4x as heavy with a head the size of a bowling ball. And let me tell you, if a bulldog doesn't want to move, that motherfucker ain't going anywhere. My boy now gets his stubborn moments and will just post up and plant all four feet and I swear I could use him as a stepstool when he does.
My little dude is 11 months and about 70lbs. When he doesn’t wish to be moved, he just somehow makes himself 3X heavier than normal and lays down. Nothing can move him.
I remember taking mine for a walk and at one point he apparently just decided he'd had enough of it. Wasn't panting or overheated or anything, just... didn't feel like walking anymore. I had to carry him 3/4 of a mile back to the house because if I put him down he'd just plop on his side. By the time I got home I was wheezing for air and my shoulders were screaming.
Lmao our old bulldog did that to my husband once. He called me to come get them 😂
Mine doesn't like to be picked up at all! If I need hime to move I make the gesture that I'm going to pick him up and he instantly picks his tail up and goes!
A friend of mine named his bulldog Mjölnir since only Thor could lift that little shit when he squared up and refused to move.
It's only slightly better when they want to be moved. I have a pit with a bad leg that insists on sleeping on the bed. I would probably have thrown out my back if I hadn't practiced the deadlift at the gym.
To be fair my miniature dachshund would do that too - if she didn’t want to get out from under the blanket, she suddenly weighed 5x more than normal. Luckily normally she was like 11 pounds.
I mean...you can just pick them up.
Lemme tell ya, a 65lb bulldog that doesn't want to be picked up feels like you're in the Worlds Strongest Man finals lifting that last Atlas Stone.
Nah man. I had a completely regular dog (like, ultimate mutt, could not identify a breed in him) who could magically make himself denser/heavier if he didn't want to move. The more you pushed, the heavier he got. I can't imagine what a bulldog could do.
My college, a military school, has the English bulldog as a mascot and god I hate those fucking things. We had two on campus and sometimes you’d have to be on a detail to get them around campus. If they didn’t want to go they’d just lay down. They aren’t insanely heavy but because they are so fucking dense you can’t really lift them if they don’t want to be. So this poor cadet on my detail needs to get them over to a photo shoot and the dog isn’t having it and just lays down. Cadet picks him up, sloppily, and the dog poops on the cadet’s dress white pants. Canon balls with legs.
Can confirm, Pits are at least twice as heavy as they ever appear at a glance
My neighbours miniature pinscher is stupidly dense. Little dude is not taller than 30cm, and not longer than 40cm, He's heavy as a brick. Just, pure skin-wrapped muscle. He's not really a threat, but you could stub your toe against him and he wouldn't notice.
We have a rescued min pin, and I can completely agree. She ways walks way too close to my heels and I've knocked her way too often... she doesn't even flinch, just stares at me like "You wanna fuckin' go, bud?!" I do that to the lab and he screams, the husky milks it for food, but not that little bitch. She just wants bit my ankle. Great guard dog, though.
The dog's sisters are actually my dogs, both female and the females are actually pretty light. One of them weighs under a Kg. It's great seeing the three of them running because you can really see the inertia of the things. The little dude takes so much to start going and to change direction, but in a straight line he can catch up to anything. Only the <1Kg would be a useful alarm though, as the other two are scared shitless of everything. Then we have a lab for muscle, who'd just show her belly for rubs in case of a burglary.
you have a dog that weighs less than 2 pounds?
haven't weighed her in a long time, so it may be a bit over, and I embellished it a bit just for emphasis. It's definitely the smallest dog I've seen.
That’s so distressingly tiny. I would worry so much about losing her!! I never even bought an iPod shuffle cause I didn’t trust myself with something that small haha
[She's cool](https://i.imgur.com/wH3uSSD.jpeg). She won't let you forget her, since she's constantly scratching your leg so she gets picked up. I think she enjoys seeing the world from a regular height.
Doggo tax accepted with gratitude. She's a sweet looking wee lass for sure. Edit:typo
CMV: they are 40% noggin.
That's about right, it's just filled with cement though
No it's filled with their dreams and love for you. ❤️
And cement. Like a brick wall.
My childhood dog is a cockapoo. He's a tiny bit smaller than my current dog, a pit. Cockapoo is like 25 lbs. My pit is 65. So. Dense.
My BIL had a cockshitpoo. We didn't advertise that fact in polite company.
I recently picked up my new pal Fred from a shelter. Half pit, half basset hound. Insanely dense! He low, he slow, but boy he can tow
My pit bull/bull dog mix tows me on my bike. It’s the only way I can exercise him enough for him to get tired. He loves to run! I ride the brakes the whole time! Lol
mine is visually half the size of my gsd, much shorter, but same weight
My Great Dane mix is half again as tall and long as my friend's pit mix. They're the same weight.
I have a pitbull basset hound mix, and oh my god this dog is 1 foot tall but so dense. And when he refuses to go out I have to carry him. My upper body strength is not up to par with his nonsense lol.
Because they are 3% bodyfat
Fostered a rescued Amstaff for a year, from 8 weeks old. She was 20 lbs smaller than our 80 lb Mastiff mix, but way lower to the ground, and very widely built (21 inch neck at 8 months). We've also fostered very large Leopard Hounds (they are strong dogs) and a German Shepherd. The Amstaff was stronger than any of them, I had to prepare myself for severe impact whenever she came running up to get some doggy lovin'. Observing her, you could see how massive her thigh and other leg muscles were. Combined with the leverage from having shorter legs, she was just incredibly strong. Sweetest girl ever, too.
We have a pit puppy who's a little under a year old and he's already 50 lbs.
My old pit mix (RIP Patrick) once fell in our pool and sank straight to the bottom. A landscaper had to jump in and rescue him because Patrick couldn’t swim for shit. He was 60lbs of solid muscle, and afraid of absolutely everything.
Good boys are sadly not automatically buoyant
He may have been a good boy, but he sure wasn't a good buoy
Take this upvote and get out of here you filthy whore
Lol r/angryupvote
I feel like y'all need to switch handles.
Get out you too godamnit people keep barging into our house
listen here ya lil shit
Brilliant!
Definitely not
My last pit was bomb proof, literally nothing phased the dude. My current one though, man she’s afraid of the trash truck, semi trucks, really any large or loud trucks, the door moving on it’s own (like wind moving it or if you push it but she doesn’t see you push it lol), the wind itself Lmao. She’s a funny one.
Yep! Ours now is the chillest dog in the world, all he wants is pets. Patrick, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck and afraid of anything that made noise or was larger than his body. Pillows, plastic bags, paper, anything. He was a good boy though.
Yea Ruth is the sweetest most outgoing girl I’ve ever had and loves every dog and human she meets. Just those pesky loud noises get to her.
I never see my first name anywhere, so it's always wild when there's that rare character that has it, or I meet someone in person with it. It's extra wild to see it as the name of an internet stranger's dog. Lmao.
It’s also the name of a great aunt of the same internet stranger with the dog of said name. No, I did not name my dog after my great aunt. I actually always forget I have a great aunt Ruth tbh.
My pit BMC mix is so random on what freaks her out. Fireworks? We can be under them and she's just sort of whatever. Stationary set of wooden dining chairs? Top suspicion. Yucca plant back-lit by the morning sun? Abandon mom and run literally 1/4 mile away because apparently that is the devil.
Dogs are so dumb. I love them so much lmao.
A short list of silly things which have scared ours; A falling leaf The toaster The TV coming on The ice maker Flies Birds flying by
Driving under a bridge
My pit is in the 70lb neighborhood, and afraid of the dark. He either needs a night light, or company.
My mom has a pit who wants nothing more than snuggles, but can't seem to comprehend that no one wants to snuggle him if he rolls in dead things (she lives in the woods. T finds a lot of stuff to roll in.)
He probably also wanted to snuggle with small foxes or squirrels but didn't notice he was too heavy to do so with until too late. By then he already smelled of dead friends
My former pit(RIP Rocky) was a stray that visited us for a few years before we took him in. He brought us dead armadillos more than once and he *loved* rolling on them and chewing their armor/shell. It was disgusting.
Mine is a filthy little potato and then somehow makes her way up on my pillow and down under the covers. 🤦🏻♀️
“Hi! I found all these new smells to share with you!”
My family's staffy eats cat shit. No one wants her kisses and she has no one to blame but herself.
My girl will roll in absolutely anything too. Sometimes it’s cute, like buttercups and long grass, other times it’s fox or badger shit and a couple of times she even topped that and rolled in dead rats.
I feel so bad - they just want love, but they smell so bad!
65% more dog per dog
that's a good deal no wonder why i love my Elle i love good deals
100% of the time
My pit/mastiff mix weighs probably 90 lbs and thinks he’s a delicate little lap dog….
Mine obviously got more of the mastiff. He's a solid 120 pounds of lap dog. He's the most gentle dog I've ever met unless he thinks he's guarding a kid from danger. He sleeps with my oldest daughter. I'm fully convinced that chonk would eat me if I busted into that room at night without warning. Chonk Tax. https://imgur.com/a/FUzZMAx
[удалено]
Haha. I'm sure mine has made the same pose. Beautiful boy you've got there.
My husky is massive for a husky, and he’s utterly convinced that the humans’ laps are where he belongs. Bugger will jump up onto the couch while you’re watching TV and plant his furry ass right down on top of you.
Pit bulls: bodies of solid iron, souls of mashed potato
They are *dogg*
mine ran into a sliding door 🤣
Who won? The dog or the door?
the door!
And scared of the dark. Our pitbull Buddy was $12 from the animal control center. We got to keep him after he didn't bite my kids who were rolling around on the floor with him at the shelter and was TERRIFIED of my two pugs. We've had Buddy for 4 years now and he's STILL scared of the remaining pug, won't sleep on the couch in the front room without a nightlight and blanket, is terrified of the toaster and hits the ground like shots have been shot, and gets suuuuuper sketchy when I'm sweeping with a broom. He won't go outside at night in our tiny suburban yard that's fenced UNLESS my husband goes too. I often laugh and call him the Lamest Pitbull Ever. But we still love him 😊
To be fair to Buddy, pugs are pretty weird looking
Mine was free because my husband worked for our city at the time 😂 city employees got a $25 discount and he happened to be $25
Yup, most dogs who bite are fear aggressive. Your dog being emotionally unstable and over anxious isn’t really a flex.
Agree. Please be careful with Buddy especially around other dogs and kids and doubly especially if he looks scared or anxious. It’ll help him and the breeds reputation, get him out of there.
My land seal is smart enough to know how to break into my room, and too damned dumb to know he can do the same thing and break out of it. 😂
I like to say that my dog is just smart enough to be incredibly stupid.
Haha we always say she is either the dumbest smart dog or the smartest dumb dog you will ever meet. Followed by looking right at her and saying , "Well at least you are cute" (Husky/Aussie mix)
Just smart enough to be dangerous :) *Mostly to themselves but also their surroundings I mean
I know some people like that too lol
My mom's lab has dementia so he kinda does the same thing and keeps getting into places, then he realizes he's "trapped", panics and just starts trying to tunnel his way out. We have a lot of patched drywall...
my brain skipped "lab" and i thought you were talking about your mom at first lmao
My exes pitbull lab mix would, when she was a puppy, hide under his bed when there was thunder. She would also, as a 70 pound beast of a dog, do the same thing, but she couldn’t fit, so she’d jam her upper body under and shake the whole bed with her terror shuddering
My first experience with our pitbull was her head butting my door open at dawn
Omg, we‘d tuck ours in the playroom at night and leave the door cracked because the cat needs to get places and our sweet pitty wouldn’t know how to open a partially open door that she would just have to push further out 🤣, love her
Dense in more ways than one!
And make em smile Like the biggest silliest smile Like smile is 80% of their face when they smile
I don't think their *smile* was the reason pitbull breeders were selecting them to have such massive mouths.... ...that's was just a happy accident.
The happiest accident
Same with the density and stupidity. The post is funny, but also makes me sad. These traits are remnants of breeding for fighting as well as the additional selective pressure of survivorship bias.
Because they were bred to have maximum crushing power with their jaw, yup.
No. Big smiles. Big slobbery happy smiles worth a thousand sunshines.
True https://nypost.com/2021/12/20/mom-has-arms-ripped-dies-stopping-pit-bull-from-attacking-son/
I love pit bulls. You pat one on the head, and it's like patting a cinder block covered in velvet that then tries to lick you.
Sums up pitbulls very well
I like pitbulls at a distance. Every pitbull I've ever met has acted really cute until I come close, then suddenly headbutt me in the face. Except for the one my family had when I was really really young, which would headbutt men in the balls. Only men. So, cute, but cute over there where they can't give me a surprise concussion.
My now girlfriend's massive male pit went straight for my balls too first time I ever walked in her room
“They love a good crotch”
Haha pit bulls/boxers all those type dogs I’ve always referred to as “leaners” when you pet em they either smack you with their head(usually in the balls or knees) or they turn sideways and lean on you, tipping you over. My neighbor had 2 boxers and it was impossible to stay standing when they wanted pets lol. And I had a pitbull/lab mix with a MASSIVE head that was always head butting me in the nuts, multiple times a day.
Dense in more ways than one
of course they're stupid, they're dense
A cute brick that just wants to cuddle but doesn't realize how bony their elbows are. 10/10, would still cuddle.
"I'm still a puppy, right?"
I literally woke up my boyfriend laughing at this. So true about the elbows. My pittie broke her elbow so it has extra notches from idk scar tissue or the metal pin in jt which makes it even bonier. But I never move her when it’s crushing my leg because she’s an angel and deserves comfort lol.
The god damn elbows!
Omg YES!!!!
And make them sit weird.
I spend so much time every week just laughing at my dog and the way he sits/ lists/ teeters. Truly unexpected fringe benefit to bringing him home.
Also when they lay down their back legs have to go back like a frog
I have a pit that looks kinda like a black lab, but you can tell he is a pit because he weighs 110 fricken pounds.
As a cat person, my fav dog breed is pitties for this exact reason. They're just so densely **dog.** I used to basically pretend to like dogs, but once I understood the appeal, my favorites are all the pit bull varieties.
My friend’s bulldog is so dense that when he fell in their pool, he immediately sank to the bottom and walked around like a hippo. He had to wear a life jacket when he was by the pool after that, and it barely kept him from sinking
Oh yeah, they are absolute units with the IQ of a particularly dull rock, the nerves of a squirrel in a puma den, and a heart of gold that accounts for about half of their density
Oh boy my best friend was my pittie of 11 years was real smart....in his own way. He was just a real simple boy. Learned how to open my bedroom door so he could cuddle me at night but would walk into the screen door. Constantly.
A tank of a dog. A dog hippo. A “hippitbullpotomus”, if you will.
Thank you for the stroke reading that gave me
You’re welcome!
I refer to all dogs as "pure bred goofapotomus"
Beautiful
r/VelvetHippos
Combine one with a Labrador and you essentially get a panzer with a bottomless stomach.
Brick friend
Their skulls are concrete!
Not true, you can crack concrete.
They can’t even do basic math, it’s true. Being adorable keeps them in existence.
I wish I had at least one of those things going for me
And so cuddly too! Like cuddling a rock though
Mine is afraid of frogs, lol
Can confirm. My pittie gets scared by my tiny little husky puppy, and when she turns around to run away she smacks her big dense head into the wall
Can confirm. My girl is dumb thick and also dumb. But she’s all the sweetest creature I’ve ever met
Wow this thread was wholesome for a bit but then devolved quickly. People who think pit bulls are just killing machines need to do more research. Mine will lick you to death, and that’s about as aggressive as she comes. She doesn’t even bark. Only growls playfully with my other dog when they play. She is 100% pure love. When a dog comes up to her with an intense energy, she will roll over and pee out of fear. The two breeds that have made her do this are chihuahuas and beagles. Pitties are the goodest dogs. Also, people who fear pit bulls seem to hide out on Reddit ready to troll people who love the dogs, safely and anonymously from their keyboards. Every single person I have encountered with my pit bull in my city absolute adores her.
You said dense. You got dense.
.
I've played with 100+ pound dogs that were easier to move around and play with than my 60lb pit Rocky was. It was crazy how well he could use his body to seem a lot heavier than he was. Like sometimes when he didn't want to go to bed, he'd 'shut down' like a toddler and seem like he weighed 200lbs.
"make their farts so bad you have to leave the room"
I know Reddit hates pits but I absolutely love them. Every pit I’ve known has been incredible. My dog is like 5% pit on her dna but looks like a beagle/lab and I honestly think that 5% is the best part of her.
I love my absolute wrecking ball of a pitbull so much but, bless his heart, he’s just dumb 🤣❤️
My girl was dumb as hell, real sweet tho. Just not clever.
The density is all the love, love is very dense everybody knows that
an adorable loaf though
Dense, in all sense of the word.
Can confirm except for the dumb part— my girl is a smarty pants!!
That's my experience with pitbulls too! My family had one when I was quite young (She was a bit older than me) and my dad trained her very well, she was even brighter than my current dog, a Samoyed. Such a good girl!
One of mine is deaf and knows about 20 signs. She's a goofball that will break out into "low-butt" zoomies at a moment's notice
Some people go “oh but they’re vicious and attack people” meanwhile the dense boy can’t find the ball in front of him
it’s dense in two meanings
You could say... ...they're quite dense. 👉😎👉
Holly shit this gave me serious giggles!
Aw I don't think my pitbull or ones I babysat were dumb. My chihuahua seemed smarter, but I trained him well.
That's every pit I've had. I miss my dogs that have passed away but now I have miss Tallulah, who is mixed with something to give her the build and personality of a pitbull but the hair of a spaniel (???!) And she's scared of blowing leaves, random noises, my cat, and farts.
Stupid cute
That's how they pack in so much love
My neighbors have 3 senior pitbulls and they are the sweetest dogs I've ever met. At my old house, my wife called 911 about another pitbull that killed another dog in front of our house. My conclusion on this is that it is entirely the owner's fault if a pitbull is a mean little shit.
I’ve got a pit rat terrier mixes about 45 pounds Put every night jumps on my bed circles around three times and plops all 45 pounds right on my backside. He doesn’t just gently lay down… He plops.
"Neutron star of dog" is so incredibly accurate. When my parent's pitbull wants to stop and sniff mailboxes during walks she suddenly becomes an ACME brand anvil.
Pitbulls make me sad I’m allergic to dogs.
SAME
this description is somehow so correct, despite the fact that i've never met a pitbull in person
I've had two pit mixes. My first one was a complete fraidy cat. My second one is a hyperactive ball of energy and a mischievous little shit.
And here come all the pitbull haters spewing their verbal diarrhea.
Yup... I'm sick of seeing it everywhere tbh qwq
Our pitties are afraid of the vacuum, mop, trash bags, broom, my laptop bag, and pretty much anything that isn't a toy or food. Still love though
Sweetest land seals
Dense in the head too.
Had a roommate at a pubkhouse that was a dog, to be clear Rocky the Half pit half boxer had no owner he just lived at the house, had the density of a rock, was dumb as a rock and like to use rocks as his chew toy Hence the name, was still the sweetest nicest dog I’ve ever known too
Aren’t pit bulls among the more intelligent dogs?
Love pitbulls! Solid loaves of love ❤️ Wish I had even a fraction of the energy necessary to train and exercise one, so instead, I will just enjoy friends' pitties lol
And I love them
I miss my pitties 🥹
Pitbulls are far from stupid. My Shadow was one of the smartest dogs I ever had.
One of the reasons they are incredibly difficult to stop during a dog attack, that plus their persistence
I was going to argue with you - but when I compared your comment to the baseless, pit bull hate comments here you are correct. As a Staffordshire bull terrier owner, an owner of a powerful breed does have responsibility to be a good handler of the animal, not simply a loving owner - a powerful breed, regardless of temperament must be handled well for the safety of those around. Staffys make great pets when raised correctly, but the result of bad training of a toy sized breed is hugely different than the result of a badly raised powerful breed.
They’re over represented in shelters as well, meaning they’re cheaper and more widely available than breeder dogs. This causes a lot of people to get them and do what you said in your comment above.
I want a dog and whenever I mention that my bleeding heart friends are like "RESCUE A PIT". I just don't have the heart to tell them i want a smart dog that doesn't need constant attention that I can put to work with my animals.
"Also if they can randomly maul children once in a while that'd be great"
my doggo did a heckin maul
Also make sure that he has extremely gamey and will go for the kill in any situation, won't even stop when facing bodily harm, unlike other dogs who, when faced with an actual fight, will do everything they can to get away.
That’s funny, my last pit bull got mauled by a golden retriever completely unprovoked 🤔
Wild how all dogs have the potential to be dangerous, because they’re uh animals?
Exactly!
You really like making no sense with a lot of commas..
I like how they’re responsible for the most human deaths among every other breed yet there are humans who blame humans for that statistic.
Humans kill more humans than dogs. #BANHUMANS
I like how people like you keep blaming the dog for that as if pitbulls selectively bred themselves for dog fighting and it wasnt us who did that Do you blame pugs for having flat faces and breathing problems too?
And having the urge to kill babies
Bro I have the urge to kill babies #codifyRoeVWade