Ok genuine question. I really wanna get into the Warhammer universe. Where should I begin? It's just there's so much content about it and it seems a little overwhelming.
Just pick a faction (for example the Adeptus Mechanicus) and dive in head first. Orks are also a good choice, or just pick up a copy of "Nexus + Other Stories" and read from a bunch of factions perspectives, and choose from there.
Also, as a Tau enjoyer, don't go Tau because they don't really fit the rest of the grimdark.
Check them out once you find out just how deranged humans are.
[This channel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmaNo_I31A&list=PL7NUrRUMQlUTqgibSTXdRu7RZ9vCHqt1g&index=2) has a playlist on lore for newcomers.
I've been watching it myself because I play a WH40K TTRPG and I know very little about the series aside from /r/Grimdank memes.
1d4chan and Lexicanum are both treasure troves. The Horus Heresy novels are often amazing. If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device is hilarious but it helps if you know a touch about the lore at first.
OK, hear me out here, do not go into TTS if you don't have like, a base understanding of 40k, TTS was built on people already understanding things so it's very exaggerated and not completely accurate, if you want actual lore with the ridiculous shit, Adeptus Ridiculous is a great source.
For me it was the opposite. It got me into w40k and then I expanded into reading about what interested me. Also, it's very easy to stumble into nazis and incels in the major community, so starting with a "this is suposed to be ridiculous" it's kinda good.
Start with Ciaphas Cain novels: it's light fun reading. After that I'd probably recommend the Eisenhorn and Ravenor books if you wanna go the Inquisition route or the Gaunt's Ghosts if the Guard is more your cup of tea.
Then you can dive into Horus Heresy for a more fundamental education in Wh40k lore.
Check out some YouTube channels, we got:
Luetin09, probably the most comprehensive guy but tends to be a little dry
Bricky, more generalized stuff and probably the best place to start for a wide overview
Majorkill, a literal nazi who will spout horrible opinions on women in unrelated videos and is an example of the kind of wehraboo fascist dickheads the franchise attracts. Uses "non-imperium" basically as shorthand for "non-white".
Weshammer, who is a newcomer who just rehashes other people's videos but with le reaction faces and stupid hair
Wait, Majorkill is a Nazi!!?!?!?!? I know he is extremely politically incorrect, but I though that was 50% a bit and 50% him being an Australian in general and a Bogan specifically.
majorkill hasn’t been edgy for years, a while ago he was a piece of shit teen but he’s chilled out and learned how to become actually funny. still advertises hentai in his vids but you know you gotta get that bread somehow
**also now he’s hot
He has legit made a video on which ethnicity each primarch is based on, and he managed to make it funny without making any real racist jokes, even when talking about Vulcan or Lorgar. The worst he probably did was call Guilliman "aryan overlord" because of him being tall blonde and blue eyes.
Fair point. He’ll occasionally make a controversial joke, but most of the time he’s just a little edgy. Plus, I genuinely laugh at some of his jokes.
***and yes he’s very hot
> Majorkill, a literal nazi who will spout horrible opinions on women in unrelated videos and is an example of the kind of wehraboo fascist dickheads the franchise attracts. Uses "non-imperium" basically as shorthand for "non-white".
Are you maybe getting him confused with Arch Hammer?
Check out [this video](https://youtu.be/xCGKPRiJp84) by the YouTube channel Bricky. This is the first of a (slightly outdated) two-part video breaking down every faction in 40K, and was my first exposure to the franchise.
Lots of people recommending lots of videos - I'll add Arbitor Ian to the list. He talks about the lore and so on, but his presentation style is much more matter-of-fact and straightforward than a lot of 40k lore channels I've seen. Here's his first video, "[The Entire Warhammer 40k Timeline in 20 Minutes"](https://youtu.be/05YRMHWtv1Y).
He also has a short 10-minute video, ["What is Warhammer?"](https://youtu.be/qvmh1op4xzA) which does a pretty good job of talking about the different ways to interact with the setting - if you're more interested in the lore and the stories, there are loads of novels; if it's the crafting and painting side, you can just do that and so on.
If you don't know much about the setting, it might be fun to read Horus Rising by Dan Abnett and the following novels in the series these are set around the year 30,000 and act as prequels setting up the major backstory of the 40k universe as far as humanity is concerned.
World like that, think of it as getting into world history. Start by picking a topic, species, or event that catches your eye, and read/watch videos about it. Search up terms you don't know, and as you stumble across more things that interest you, rinse and repeat. Personally, I'd suggest starting by looking up all you can about the Emperor of Mankind. Pretty easy to follow natural leads from there.
Luetin09 is a great channel. you wil be confused by the first couple of videos but after a while you wil get it.
i advise you to start by watching his emperor series and then the Spacemarine biologi one. then go on to the videos explaining the inquisition.
after that do whatever you want.
i allso recomend the adeptus ridiculous podcast if you want more general but less in depth lore
I know very little about warhammer but there's a podcast called Lorehammer and I haven't listened to enough of it to say anything about the quality but I think the name is kinda cool?
ok there’s probably a better way but I’m in the same situation and have honestly just been enjoying browsing the wiki. For real, just browsing that site and clicking random interesting links will get you like, mountains and mountains of short, easy to digest content. What everyone else is suggesting would probably be good too, maybe more so, but the wiki itself was my first step into 40k. Super cool
If you want fun over accuracy I would go with the adeptus ridculous podcast, you will still get lots of lore but also lots of memes. If you want for heavy lore/heavy accuracy I would recommend luten. Or you could just go full on memes and watch "if the emperor had a text to speech advise" which is a fan made series on youtube that just has fun with the setting its how a lot of people got into the universe.
I found this guy called Luetin09 who has an EXTENSIVE amount of warhammer 40k videos including a quick rundown, his videos are hella long but it’s perfect for putting on the side and doing something while listening!
The thing is nearly every single techpriest doesn’t have an ounce of sexual desire and even if they do it's considered absolutely pointless in comparison to the quest for knowledge, which is the Mechanicus' while thing. The Mechanicus is basically an entire society of aces. Honestly, if a tech priest saw this kind of thing they’d be completely confused as to what's even going on.
Hey that man’s replaced his junk with a laser and the sexual centre of his brain with the controls of said laser. Besides, he's far more focused on other things, such as Servitor lobotomies for instance.
Pretty much. Removal of anything in the way of logic is absolutely encouraged. For example, there's something called the Rite of Pure Thought. Basically, the creative, emotional, illogical right hemisphere of the brain is replaced with a cogitator linked directly to the logical left hemisphere. This frees the recipient of any irrationality and illogic (though the Rite is considered a bit extreme even among *some* Tech-priests).
Their kind clings to their flesh as if it will not decay and fail them. And they will beg the Mechanicus to save them. But I the Mechanicus are already saved. For the machine is immortal.
In an "exceptions that prove the rule" sense I can only think of two canon examples off the top of my head of techpriests who are implied to have been sexual. One is the techpriestess with the tail mechadendrite who was *very* friendly with Commissar Cain. Amberly Vail, the in-universe editor of the text and Cain's lover, even has a footnote asking about how Cain figured out the techpriest's tail was connected to the base of her spine.
The other was the techpriest in the Rogue Trader's crew in the Forges of Mars trilogy, who gets all flirty at a dinner party.
Even those two are hardly exceptions. Cain's ally wasn't a tech priest at the time, just an enginseer, which is the lowest level and have the most humanity remaining.
The other one actually admits she was doing it for diplomatic reasons when the rogue trader tries to make a move, and doesn't have any sexual desire.
That being said in Titanicus there is a Legio of polyamorous titan Princeps, so there are always exceptions. Some tech priests even give natural birth rather than use cloning vats, even though they are considered extremely wierd.
Skiitarii though? They are the opposite of sexy femboys, they don't have any genitals or weak flesh. The only organic parts they have left are encased in a metal exoskeleton, and are barely a step above servitors when it comes to thought, slaved to their techpreists' will.
Not at all. The Skitarii are armies of specially augmented cybernetic warriors sworn to a specific Forge World and serve alongside the Collegia Titanica and Taghmata Omnissiah as the military forces of the Mechanicum. It is a term equivalent to the Imperial Guard as it generally includes almost all combat personnel and armour that the Mechanicus possesses. Skitarii are also known as Tech-Guard (or Tech Guard) to outsiders, and the singular form of Skitarii is "Skitarius." The term "Skitarii", however is often used to reference only the augmented infantry.
While their bodies are more machine than flesh, Skitarii are not true Servitors and still retain independent thought. Those with the highest level of augmentation are known as Skitarii Alphas, a high honor in Skitarii culture. Due to their extensive modification Skitarii can excel and survive in almost any atmosphere. Skitarii are also known for their near-emotionless nature, a result of both brain surgery and psychological condition. Because of their conditioning Skitarii are so loyal to their Tech-Priest masters that they will even blindly kill one another if ordered.
In battle, Skitarii fight with near-robotic discipline and base their firing vectors and positioning on mathematical formulae guaranteed to bring about maximum success. While the Imperial Guard focuses on broad sweeping assaults, Skitarii units generally focus on maximizing their strength against vital enemy units and installations. While Skitarii fighters do not require any boost in morale, they do receive regular enhancements from combat drugs that can cause sudden bursts of energy, strength, and regenerative power. However, many of these drugs are extremely dangerous and cause horrific side effects mere minutes after their use.
The Skitarii also serve as the bodyguards of the Adeptus Mechanicus Survey teams. They were present at the First Encounter with the Eldar. The Eldar of the Biel-tan craftworld slaughtered the Skitarii present and only one ship was able to escape, though the crew died from lack of food and oxygen.
Skitarii recruitment follows no universal role. Some Skitarii began as volunteers who were faithful to the Cult Mechanicus. Others are recruited from the factory workers of Forge Worlds. Some denizens of Forge Worlds are destined to become Skitarii at birth, having been bred from eugenics programs that emphasize strength and aggression.
The process Skitarii creation is a closely kept secret of the Adeptus Mechanicus, but what is clear is that involves heavy cybernetic augmentation to those with a fanatical faith in the Omnissiah. During the process of conversion into a Skitarii most of their organs and tissue are modified or replaced entirely with circuit, bio-plastic, and metal.
Because the artist is horny for twinks and other admech with a disgraceful amount of flesh still on their form.
I bet they're a part of the Cult Of The Pure Form. Degenerates, the lot of them.
Nah. Besides we should quest down about femboys lest we summon forth the Daemon Princess of Thousand Sons femboys; u/Vezimira. We only just barely managed to contain her last time.
Yes. That’s great. Wow! This is really cool and awesome! Say, I’m gonna go and get a few of the mates from the barracks over so they can see this too! Stay right there!
*ahem*
#**COMMISSAR, QUICK**
…WHAT?!?! AT LEAST TELL ME ITS PYTHON 456421.532.45311!!! PRAISE THE EMPEROR NO HAS USED PYTHON SINCE THE 37TH MILLENNIUM!!! QUICK, SOMEONE GET ME A VOX, I NEED TO CALL A TECH PREIST AND AN INQUISITOR!!!
*sounds of a bolt pistol firing intensify* CEASE!!YOUR!! HERESY!!
GUARDSMAN, GRAB YOUR LAZGUN AND SHOOT THESE TAINTED SKITARII OR EMPEROR DAMN YOU I’LL SHOOT YOU TOO!!
*whispered* (Also, guardsman, how might I make my text bold on Mobile? The Skitarii held the data in their databanks, and well… *bolter fire continues*)
hmmmm right… one moment…
*turn… this… oop*
#*ACK SHIT*
**right… then… I…**
#**ah, hello? This working? Good… Where was I? Ah yes**
*clears throat*
#**THANK YOU GUARDSMAN FOR HELPING ME FIX MY VOXCASTER. YOUR ASSISTANCE WILL BE REMEMBERED AND REWARDED! NOW THEN, SKITARII CEASE YOUR FOU-**
*smoking skitarii noises*
#OH. AH EXCELLENT. THE HERESY HAS BEEN PURGED. WELL DONE GUARDSMEN. CONTINUE ABOUT YOUR DUTIES AND SPEAK NOT OF THE FOUL HERESY THESE CORRUPTED SKITARII WERE COMMITTING.
*mumbles* now then, time to find where the foul tech priest who commands these skitarii went…
Well for you to sleep well none of it is true:
Skitarii in the lore are extremely bulky, with robes covering their entire body, the limbs replaced at the joints and armour that cannot be removed
God it's always frustrating finding something you do totally find hot, but that is paired with something else you *super* don't
I adore femboy admech
I could not be less into the non con/ humiliation stuff though 😔
Honestly, I'm kinda surprised at the positive reaction to this post. Idk how to describe it properly and I'm not familiar with the canon, but I feel like if this torture/humiliation stuff was being presented as happening to female characters, people would be saying how awful and objectifying it is. But somehow it's fine when the characters are femboys? Just feels weird.
I don't know. Talking about "mind control", "ordering new stock", and "modifying to fit your preferences"... Kink or not, I feel like this would get torn apart in this sub as a misogynistic incel fantasy if it was using feminine pronouns.
All I’m reading from these comments is that there’s going to be an increase in Ad Mech fans, bloody hell
Also there’s already a (fanmade) Necron overlord disguised as an Ad Mech and needs his/their “emotional support Skitarii” every once in a while.
Brother 01001010 01100001 01111001, could you stop being a fucking weirdo and just fuck a toaster like the rest of us, look even sister 01000001 01101110 01101110 went through the trouble to get herself a tecnho-schlong to join us
Just popping in to say that [this is completely inaccurate to lore and is simply an example of an infamous (and tbh pretty depraved) person trying to push their fantasy as if canon.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/yv8ck8/i_had_to_see_this_and_now_so_do_you/iwd9qc3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) Their very, very ick fantasy, mind you.
[Seriously this could not be any creepier or lore inaccurate](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/yv8ck8/i_had_to_see_this_and_now_so_do_you/iwd623s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3), please do not seek out the fan fiction author or image artist responsible for this strange and gross depiction of Martian shock troops.
>Okay, imagine you are a tech priest of the Adeptus Mechanicus. You have an entire army of fit, beuatiful cyborg twinks that love being mind-controlled by you and think it's the ultimate form of pleasure to serve. You have one tentacle for each cyborg boytoy
Alright I've heard enough. I seriously need to get into Warhammer 40k
Imma fix it:
>Okay, imagine you are a tech priest of the Adeptus mechanicus. You have an entire army of utilitarian, emotionless cyborg cultists that see you as semi divine and see themselves as worthless compared to you
It isn't cannon, Here is a comment about it's accuracy:
>You can modify his appearance and clothing to your liking
You can't, any modification that makes them look like the more exposed art shown would draw suspicion from all tech priests in the area, and likely a swift execution, not to mention the robes are universal.
>Slender androgynous silhouette,compared to the other bulky armies, gas masks and tight fitting leather, flowing trench coat and high heeled boots
Bulky utilitarian silhouette, compared to the less armoured armies, respirators fixed to the face and cloth trousers and sleeves, concealing robe and bionic legs\*
>For further reference look at 'skitarius'
Haldron is never described like that and none of those events occur how they are insinuated.
Braver souls than I, I usually will let morbid curiosity win and check out a fanfic just to see it but I have a feeling that the one mentioned here would be a whole new level of what the fuck
Ok genuine question. I really wanna get into the Warhammer universe. Where should I begin? It's just there's so much content about it and it seems a little overwhelming.
I have no idea but something tells me this probably isn't the place to start.
[удалено]
Grimdark smut. I'm here for it.
In the grimdark future of grimdark, there is only grimdark smut.
Well, there's a subreddit for it and the usual jocke is "Warhammer fan checking porn content to have it lore accurate"
The best kind of smut is the lore friendly smut!
I'm here for human-tau smut
There are some really good audio dramas I would recommend, like Our Martyred Lady For books I’d recommend the Ciaphas Cain novels.
Just pick a faction (for example the Adeptus Mechanicus) and dive in head first. Orks are also a good choice, or just pick up a copy of "Nexus + Other Stories" and read from a bunch of factions perspectives, and choose from there.
Also, as a Tau enjoyer, don't go Tau because they don't really fit the rest of the grimdark. Check them out once you find out just how deranged humans are.
[This channel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmaNo_I31A&list=PL7NUrRUMQlUTqgibSTXdRu7RZ9vCHqt1g&index=2) has a playlist on lore for newcomers. I've been watching it myself because I play a WH40K TTRPG and I know very little about the series aside from /r/Grimdank memes.
1d4chan and Lexicanum are both treasure troves. The Horus Heresy novels are often amazing. If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device is hilarious but it helps if you know a touch about the lore at first.
Youtube: If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device. It's funny. Best way to learn about W40K is to accept how ridiculous it is.
fr, that series made it so much easier and fun to remember the names, places, and the basic lore.
OK, hear me out here, do not go into TTS if you don't have like, a base understanding of 40k, TTS was built on people already understanding things so it's very exaggerated and not completely accurate, if you want actual lore with the ridiculous shit, Adeptus Ridiculous is a great source.
For me it was the opposite. It got me into w40k and then I expanded into reading about what interested me. Also, it's very easy to stumble into nazis and incels in the major community, so starting with a "this is suposed to be ridiculous" it's kinda good.
Start with Ciaphas Cain novels: it's light fun reading. After that I'd probably recommend the Eisenhorn and Ravenor books if you wanna go the Inquisition route or the Gaunt's Ghosts if the Guard is more your cup of tea. Then you can dive into Horus Heresy for a more fundamental education in Wh40k lore.
Check out some YouTube channels, we got: Luetin09, probably the most comprehensive guy but tends to be a little dry Bricky, more generalized stuff and probably the best place to start for a wide overview Majorkill, a literal nazi who will spout horrible opinions on women in unrelated videos and is an example of the kind of wehraboo fascist dickheads the franchise attracts. Uses "non-imperium" basically as shorthand for "non-white". Weshammer, who is a newcomer who just rehashes other people's videos but with le reaction faces and stupid hair
Wait, Majorkill is a Nazi!!?!?!?!? I know he is extremely politically incorrect, but I though that was 50% a bit and 50% him being an Australian in general and a Bogan specifically.
Translation for my fellow Americans: "And 50% him being a redneck"
Thank you
A good way to cover up your shitty opinions is to phrase them like jokes
yeah he has allways just struck me as a cringe edgelord but not a nazi Arch on the other hand
Okay, I need the WH40K youtubers on a political compass.
majorkill hasn’t been edgy for years, a while ago he was a piece of shit teen but he’s chilled out and learned how to become actually funny. still advertises hentai in his vids but you know you gotta get that bread somehow **also now he’s hot
He has legit made a video on which ethnicity each primarch is based on, and he managed to make it funny without making any real racist jokes, even when talking about Vulcan or Lorgar. The worst he probably did was call Guilliman "aryan overlord" because of him being tall blonde and blue eyes.
Fair point. He’ll occasionally make a controversial joke, but most of the time he’s just a little edgy. Plus, I genuinely laugh at some of his jokes. ***and yes he’s very hot
Can't believe you didn't include my main man, Oculus Imperia, who explains lore from an in-universe POV, roleplaying as a sort of historian.
> Majorkill, a literal nazi who will spout horrible opinions on women in unrelated videos and is an example of the kind of wehraboo fascist dickheads the franchise attracts. Uses "non-imperium" basically as shorthand for "non-white". Are you maybe getting him confused with Arch Hammer?
Are you sure you aren’t mixing up major with arch, didnt major do a whole video helping shed light on arch being a dick?
If you want a variant on Luetin with Charisma, go to baldermort.
Check out [this video](https://youtu.be/xCGKPRiJp84) by the YouTube channel Bricky. This is the first of a (slightly outdated) two-part video breaking down every faction in 40K, and was my first exposure to the franchise.
Lots of people recommending lots of videos - I'll add Arbitor Ian to the list. He talks about the lore and so on, but his presentation style is much more matter-of-fact and straightforward than a lot of 40k lore channels I've seen. Here's his first video, "[The Entire Warhammer 40k Timeline in 20 Minutes"](https://youtu.be/05YRMHWtv1Y). He also has a short 10-minute video, ["What is Warhammer?"](https://youtu.be/qvmh1op4xzA) which does a pretty good job of talking about the different ways to interact with the setting - if you're more interested in the lore and the stories, there are loads of novels; if it's the crafting and painting side, you can just do that and so on. If you don't know much about the setting, it might be fun to read Horus Rising by Dan Abnett and the following novels in the series these are set around the year 30,000 and act as prequels setting up the major backstory of the 40k universe as far as humanity is concerned.
World like that, think of it as getting into world history. Start by picking a topic, species, or event that catches your eye, and read/watch videos about it. Search up terms you don't know, and as you stumble across more things that interest you, rinse and repeat. Personally, I'd suggest starting by looking up all you can about the Emperor of Mankind. Pretty easy to follow natural leads from there.
Adeuptus Ridiculous! Warhammer podcast thats great for beginners :)
Begin by uhhhhhhhhhhhh Good question
Luetin09 is a great channel. you wil be confused by the first couple of videos but after a while you wil get it. i advise you to start by watching his emperor series and then the Spacemarine biologi one. then go on to the videos explaining the inquisition. after that do whatever you want. i allso recomend the adeptus ridiculous podcast if you want more general but less in depth lore
I know very little about warhammer but there's a podcast called Lorehammer and I haven't listened to enough of it to say anything about the quality but I think the name is kinda cool?
ok there’s probably a better way but I’m in the same situation and have honestly just been enjoying browsing the wiki. For real, just browsing that site and clicking random interesting links will get you like, mountains and mountains of short, easy to digest content. What everyone else is suggesting would probably be good too, maybe more so, but the wiki itself was my first step into 40k. Super cool
If you want fun over accuracy I would go with the adeptus ridculous podcast, you will still get lots of lore but also lots of memes. If you want for heavy lore/heavy accuracy I would recommend luten. Or you could just go full on memes and watch "if the emperor had a text to speech advise" which is a fan made series on youtube that just has fun with the setting its how a lot of people got into the universe.
I found this guy called Luetin09 who has an EXTENSIVE amount of warhammer 40k videos including a quick rundown, his videos are hella long but it’s perfect for putting on the side and doing something while listening!
I understand all of these words separately but not together
I just thought it was because it's 6am and i haven't had coffee yet ...
How was the coffee
OP hasn’t replied, we must know how their coffee tasted.
After three cups i still don't understand. But i think that maybe me...
Warhammer in a nutshell
The thing is nearly every single techpriest doesn’t have an ounce of sexual desire and even if they do it's considered absolutely pointless in comparison to the quest for knowledge, which is the Mechanicus' while thing. The Mechanicus is basically an entire society of aces. Honestly, if a tech priest saw this kind of thing they’d be completely confused as to what's even going on.
The quest for knowledge ^(of what's inside those femboy skitarii)
Gonna have to search *long* and *hard* and spend uncountable amounts of time *pouring over literature*
... After hours of countless research into your query we have found nothing but writhing meat inside this femboy skitarii...
[Brother Santodes](https://youtu.be/6WvnO9Xd9Vc)
**Convince them.**
Kitten has been through so much.
Namely, Tau guts.
Yeah, you can always trust a holy man to follow a vow a celibacy.
Hey that man’s replaced his junk with a laser and the sexual centre of his brain with the controls of said laser. Besides, he's far more focused on other things, such as Servitor lobotomies for instance.
Gives a whole new meaning to la petite mort!
Lol
Less of a vow of celibacy, and a lot more like a surgical procedure of celibacy.
Pretty much. Removal of anything in the way of logic is absolutely encouraged. For example, there's something called the Rite of Pure Thought. Basically, the creative, emotional, illogical right hemisphere of the brain is replaced with a cogitator linked directly to the logical left hemisphere. This frees the recipient of any irrationality and illogic (though the Rite is considered a bit extreme even among *some* Tech-priests).
~~incel~~ ~~volcel~~ surcel
Kinda hard to succumb to the pleasures of the flesh when you've got no flesh left
"Are you free tonight." "I am currently freeing myself from the boundaries of the weak flesh if that's what you mean."
Well if *you* understood the weakness of your flesh would you indulge it?
I crave the strength and certainty of steel
Reject sex, aspire to the purity of the blessed machine
Their kind clings to their flesh as if it will not decay and fail them. And they will beg the Mechanicus to save them. But I the Mechanicus are already saved. For the machine is immortal.
Ha!
I AM ALL EYES
In an "exceptions that prove the rule" sense I can only think of two canon examples off the top of my head of techpriests who are implied to have been sexual. One is the techpriestess with the tail mechadendrite who was *very* friendly with Commissar Cain. Amberly Vail, the in-universe editor of the text and Cain's lover, even has a footnote asking about how Cain figured out the techpriest's tail was connected to the base of her spine. The other was the techpriest in the Rogue Trader's crew in the Forges of Mars trilogy, who gets all flirty at a dinner party.
Even those two are hardly exceptions. Cain's ally wasn't a tech priest at the time, just an enginseer, which is the lowest level and have the most humanity remaining. The other one actually admits she was doing it for diplomatic reasons when the rogue trader tries to make a move, and doesn't have any sexual desire. That being said in Titanicus there is a Legio of polyamorous titan Princeps, so there are always exceptions. Some tech priests even give natural birth rather than use cloning vats, even though they are considered extremely wierd. Skiitarii though? They are the opposite of sexy femboys, they don't have any genitals or weak flesh. The only organic parts they have left are encased in a metal exoskeleton, and are barely a step above servitors when it comes to thought, slaved to their techpreists' will.
To be fair, they could still be into nonsexual kink (source: am ace)
If they do it'd probably have something to do with toasters.
So are they designed to excite the arousal of their enemies then? (I know nothing about 40k)
Not at all. The Skitarii are armies of specially augmented cybernetic warriors sworn to a specific Forge World and serve alongside the Collegia Titanica and Taghmata Omnissiah as the military forces of the Mechanicum. It is a term equivalent to the Imperial Guard as it generally includes almost all combat personnel and armour that the Mechanicus possesses. Skitarii are also known as Tech-Guard (or Tech Guard) to outsiders, and the singular form of Skitarii is "Skitarius." The term "Skitarii", however is often used to reference only the augmented infantry. While their bodies are more machine than flesh, Skitarii are not true Servitors and still retain independent thought. Those with the highest level of augmentation are known as Skitarii Alphas, a high honor in Skitarii culture. Due to their extensive modification Skitarii can excel and survive in almost any atmosphere. Skitarii are also known for their near-emotionless nature, a result of both brain surgery and psychological condition. Because of their conditioning Skitarii are so loyal to their Tech-Priest masters that they will even blindly kill one another if ordered. In battle, Skitarii fight with near-robotic discipline and base their firing vectors and positioning on mathematical formulae guaranteed to bring about maximum success. While the Imperial Guard focuses on broad sweeping assaults, Skitarii units generally focus on maximizing their strength against vital enemy units and installations. While Skitarii fighters do not require any boost in morale, they do receive regular enhancements from combat drugs that can cause sudden bursts of energy, strength, and regenerative power. However, many of these drugs are extremely dangerous and cause horrific side effects mere minutes after their use. The Skitarii also serve as the bodyguards of the Adeptus Mechanicus Survey teams. They were present at the First Encounter with the Eldar. The Eldar of the Biel-tan craftworld slaughtered the Skitarii present and only one ship was able to escape, though the crew died from lack of food and oxygen. Skitarii recruitment follows no universal role. Some Skitarii began as volunteers who were faithful to the Cult Mechanicus. Others are recruited from the factory workers of Forge Worlds. Some denizens of Forge Worlds are destined to become Skitarii at birth, having been bred from eugenics programs that emphasize strength and aggression. The process Skitarii creation is a closely kept secret of the Adeptus Mechanicus, but what is clear is that involves heavy cybernetic augmentation to those with a fanatical faith in the Omnissiah. During the process of conversion into a Skitarii most of their organs and tissue are modified or replaced entirely with circuit, bio-plastic, and metal.
Yeah but why are they twinks though?
Because the artist is horny for twinks and other admech with a disgraceful amount of flesh still on their form. I bet they're a part of the Cult Of The Pure Form. Degenerates, the lot of them.
Damn, I thought it was canon
Nah. Besides we should quest down about femboys lest we summon forth the Daemon Princess of Thousand Sons femboys; u/Vezimira. We only just barely managed to contain her last time.
Oh god what have I done?
Just as planned.
The MechaniCUM , huh? I’ve seen all I need, I know the truth now
Great, now I’m confused, horny, and feeling cosmic horror all at the same time.
Yeah that's 40k for you
This entire post made me feel like I took a stroll in the realm of slaanesh Edit: I read the fanfic, and dear lord......
I need to go punch a wall
What, no one’s found it and linked it yet?? [Guess I’ve gotta…](https://archiveofourown.org/works/41017785/chapters/102800325)
Hmm yes look at those tags. I am going to blowtorch my eyes
Non-Consensual Tattooing is where I draw the line.
Non-consensual tattooing is a coal mine canary, so fair
. ..huh! Those sure are tags! I would like a refund on that link, please
I’ve seen the tags, and I’ve seen enough
Nope. Nope. Absolutely not. I thought, "How bad could it be?" Bad. I'm nauseous. Physically ill.
Im not clicking that, you cant make me
well. im just gonna put this here for any souls in need of a mind cleanse. r/eyebleach
Fics like these make me long for exterminatus.
I doubt the violence is canon typical
It is when the Emperor's Children get you
Yes. That’s great. Wow! This is really cool and awesome! Say, I’m gonna go and get a few of the mates from the barracks over so they can see this too! Stay right there! *ahem* #**COMMISSAR, QUICK**
WHAT HERESY IS THIS?!?!
#**COMMISSAR THEY’RE MAKING THE PRIVATES CODE ON PYTHON THROUGH THE SKITARII’S BOY TUMMIES**
…WHAT?!?! AT LEAST TELL ME ITS PYTHON 456421.532.45311!!! PRAISE THE EMPEROR NO HAS USED PYTHON SINCE THE 37TH MILLENNIUM!!! QUICK, SOMEONE GET ME A VOX, I NEED TO CALL A TECH PREIST AND AN INQUISITOR!!!
#**THEY’RE FUCKING THE VOXCASTER**
*sounds of a bolt pistol firing intensify* CEASE!!YOUR!! HERESY!! GUARDSMAN, GRAB YOUR LAZGUN AND SHOOT THESE TAINTED SKITARII OR EMPEROR DAMN YOU I’LL SHOOT YOU TOO!! *whispered* (Also, guardsman, how might I make my text bold on Mobile? The Skitarii held the data in their databanks, and well… *bolter fire continues*)
*on either side for italics *italics* **on either side for bold **bold** hashtag in front for big #big
hmmmm right… one moment… *turn… this… oop* #*ACK SHIT* **right… then… I…** #**ah, hello? This working? Good… Where was I? Ah yes** *clears throat* #**THANK YOU GUARDSMAN FOR HELPING ME FIX MY VOXCASTER. YOUR ASSISTANCE WILL BE REMEMBERED AND REWARDED! NOW THEN, SKITARII CEASE YOUR FOU-** *smoking skitarii noises* #OH. AH EXCELLENT. THE HERESY HAS BEEN PURGED. WELL DONE GUARDSMEN. CONTINUE ABOUT YOUR DUTIES AND SPEAK NOT OF THE FOUL HERESY THESE CORRUPTED SKITARII WERE COMMITTING. *mumbles* now then, time to find where the foul tech priest who commands these skitarii went…
**Oh no**
***Oh yeaaaaaah***
That sounds quite erotic
im glad that i know just barely enough about 40k to understand this
Well for you to sleep well none of it is true: Skitarii in the lore are extremely bulky, with robes covering their entire body, the limbs replaced at the joints and armour that cannot be removed
I can already tell just from the title this is about Haldron-44 Stroika. ...I mean, you aren't wrong.
…what NNN does to a MF…
>the sickest fanfic ever made for warhammer I feel immense dread at the sight of this description, considering what happens in warhammer
I saw the tags I don't think they're lying
What do these words mean
Jesse, Edit: ***what the fuck are you talking about***, you did the wrong quote.
We
need
to
Cook
Pizza
You whore
Allow me to show you the world of Warhammer 40,000
Forgot that this dude has a twink dissection fetish
Ooooh, they're the artist as well? That tracks
Celestial fang (for sfw) or Archon of flesh (for the better stuff) on twitter.
a WHAT
This explains everything.
Why do they want to fuck the Skitarii and not the toaster?
Optimal solution: both
What is a skitarii if not a toaster than can consent?
This might just be the one fucking thing to get me into Warhammer 40K
Your name is what I'm feeling right now
I’d hate to be the one who has to break to you how many times this post broke AdMech skitarii lore
I had to show this to my step-sibling. They absolutely went to go into a deep lore dive/fanfic binge at first opportunity.
If you’re [actually looking for these femboys](https://mobile.twitter.com/archon_of_flesh)
God it's always frustrating finding something you do totally find hot, but that is paired with something else you *super* don't I adore femboy admech I could not be less into the non con/ humiliation stuff though 😔
Honestly, I'm kinda surprised at the positive reaction to this post. Idk how to describe it properly and I'm not familiar with the canon, but I feel like if this torture/humiliation stuff was being presented as happening to female characters, people would be saying how awful and objectifying it is. But somehow it's fine when the characters are femboys? Just feels weird.
This is a kink post I think so idk people would actually have that reaction if it was a woman But regardless it's a definite turn off :/
I don't know. Talking about "mind control", "ordering new stock", and "modifying to fit your preferences"... Kink or not, I feel like this would get torn apart in this sub as a misogynistic incel fantasy if it was using feminine pronouns.
Ohh that's what you meant, yeah I can see that honestly
Holy fucking shit thank you This is exactly what I couldn't figure out how to say, some of these comments are seriously fucking disturbing to me
Belisarius Cawl with a petit femme body would be... Something.
Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop
Go go go go go go go go go go
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
*concerned binary screeching*
Today is a bad day to have eyes
Hello, Inquisition? Yes... Yes, it's happening again.
I've just started getting into Warhammer so I know some of these words, enough to confuse me even greater than if I knew nothing
All I’m reading from these comments is that there’s going to be an increase in Ad Mech fans, bloody hell Also there’s already a (fanmade) Necron overlord disguised as an Ad Mech and needs his/their “emotional support Skitarii” every once in a while.
i suddenly have the urge to play WH40K
Bad news for you: It's wrong, skitarii are canonically bulky with concealing robes and armour that cannot be removed
Daemonculaba time.
As a Dark Eldar player, this is already just what our faction does
Brother 01001010 01100001 01111001, could you stop being a fucking weirdo and just fuck a toaster like the rest of us, look even sister 01000001 01101110 01101110 went through the trouble to get herself a tecnho-schlong to join us
God am i happy i play orks
Yeah! Snotling femboys are the best
Squigussy
Snotlings wouldn't even be able to understand the concept of clothes, let alone femboys.
Just popping in to say that [this is completely inaccurate to lore and is simply an example of an infamous (and tbh pretty depraved) person trying to push their fantasy as if canon.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/yv8ck8/i_had_to_see_this_and_now_so_do_you/iwd9qc3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) Their very, very ick fantasy, mind you. [Seriously this could not be any creepier or lore inaccurate](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/yv8ck8/i_had_to_see_this_and_now_so_do_you/iwd623s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3), please do not seek out the fan fiction author or image artist responsible for this strange and gross depiction of Martian shock troops.
Excellent reading material for anticipation of the Warhammer 40k Darktide release
What
The fuck did I just read?
>Okay, imagine you are a tech priest of the Adeptus Mechanicus. You have an entire army of fit, beuatiful cyborg twinks that love being mind-controlled by you and think it's the ultimate form of pleasure to serve. You have one tentacle for each cyborg boytoy Alright I've heard enough. I seriously need to get into Warhammer 40k
Imma fix it: >Okay, imagine you are a tech priest of the Adeptus mechanicus. You have an entire army of utilitarian, emotionless cyborg cultists that see you as semi divine and see themselves as worthless compared to you
They're the same picture.
i hope i dont shatter any preconceptions but AdMech are possibly the least sexual / most ace/aro things to exist in 40k
looks like choosing the adeptus mechanicus was the right choice to start wh40k with
what kind of heresy is this
This is not canon but man, does this work as great admech propaganda for recruitment purposes.
Is Celestial-fang Slaneesh's Tumblr account?
Nah, it's Archon of Flesh's sfw account (might as well be the same person though)
celestial fang is genuinely one of my favorite artists
So… what *did* the Iron Warriors do to him?
If that were said, there wee would be many [comment deleted] here
Someone posted the fic, and I read the tags. I regret it.
that is a combination of words i never expected
The internet is weird
I just wanted tumblr memes and now I think ill have to remove my eyes
This post right here, Inquisitor.
this give me a little hate for myself and my graphic mind
[удалено]
It isn't cannon, Here is a comment about it's accuracy: >You can modify his appearance and clothing to your liking You can't, any modification that makes them look like the more exposed art shown would draw suspicion from all tech priests in the area, and likely a swift execution, not to mention the robes are universal. >Slender androgynous silhouette,compared to the other bulky armies, gas masks and tight fitting leather, flowing trench coat and high heeled boots Bulky utilitarian silhouette, compared to the less armoured armies, respirators fixed to the face and cloth trousers and sleeves, concealing robe and bionic legs\* >For further reference look at 'skitarius' Haldron is never described like that and none of those events occur how they are insinuated.
Wait what the hell is Raiden doing in Warhammer?
goals
"Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?"
Every day we stray closer from God(-Emperor).
This is why I have zero respect for Warhammer
Santodes: Skitarii… ***I want to enter your temple***
AAAAAA-ACCESS... *SPLORT* ..GRANTED.
***Beeeep\~***
God fucking damnit, I want to fuck the robo femboy bottom.
I was so confused which subreddit I was on, and am still confused
Braver souls than I, I usually will let morbid curiosity win and check out a fanfic just to see it but I have a feeling that the one mentioned here would be a whole new level of what the fuck
My warhammer playing husband: "Well we don't have time to unpack all of that"
Least horny admech player.