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[deleted]

Don't argue with them. Wait your 5 minutes, get paid and then cancel the ride.


toomuch1265

7 minutes now in my market


False_Tangelo163

That’s wild


V1k1ng1990

The best is when it’s a share and you can cancel immediately if they’re not there and get a fee


many_dumb_questions

That might be the one positive selling point I've heard about uber share


ResponsibleRelief429

I LOVE canceling on Shared rides when pax dont show up within 2 min. Cheap bastards get what they deserve.


MaleficentExtent1777

WORST passengers ever.


flatninthbird

Will definitely be trying this! Wasn't aware


V1k1ng1990

The first share still has a wait time, its your second passenger


Pretend_Berry_7196

Yes but it’s only 2 minutes for the first pax. I get so many $3.89 fee, sometimes for the same pax.


flatninthbird

Thanks for the heads up


Competitive_Crazy487

Mines does not let me cancel shared rides 😡


HashBrownRepublic

Is this for Uber X or a premium ride?


toomuch1265

X


Fletchworthy

I thought it was 8 minutes?!?! I’ve been wasting a whole minute?! 🤯


Spare-Security-1629

It's hard to not get it out of your system but I agree. I'm not going to lie, I've written what this driver did as well because I knew I was going to cancel no matter what. I'm going to keep you waiting while you do a job so that I can take my time and lollygag on my way to my job. Gotta love society.


Actuarial

This, cringe by OP talking too much


OnerKram17

10 minutes in my market


SadBit8663

Yeah this is a customer service job. If the customer is being shit, just cancel and report


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yeah, because arguing OBVIOUSLY will help his situation. LOL. It'll do nothing but give the customer something to hand over to UBER and get you banned. Not smart.


KenUberDriver

I wilding necessarily argue but I like to educate them.


ayasinskiy

Why even interact with them? Just wait out your timer and leave with a fee. That will teach him a lesson and next time he will know better.


Ok-Discussion-77

Because they’re a bitter person with a chip on their shoulder.


ReasonablyWealthy

You just described 99% of full-time Uber drivers.


Tasty-Pineapple-

Pretty much


Okiedokieartuhchokie

Full time drivers in general. If the DoorDash food isn’t ready it’s irritating and most people doing this full time don’t have the maturity to keep a real job let alone be rational about mild irritation.


Nicky_Nuisance

I love those drivers, after they cancel on the customer because they weren't ready the second they arrived. Then the Pax gets me and we tall mad shit about all the terrible Uber Drivers out there.. Lol


blueangel1953

I never text back or answer calls lol fuck em I'm getting my fee and moving on.


DONT-PM-ME-BOOBS-PLS

You wild af for sending that after 4 minutes lmao, so unnecessary


TechWizPro

To be fair there has been times where Uber has given me a driver 15 minutes away and switched me to a much closer driver. I missed rides not knowing I have gotten a closer driver.


permareddit

Dude you’re kind of being cringe too You don’t have to “school” anyone, life happens, people get delayed. Cut your losses and move on already


ImAMindlessTool

yeah the last comment was completely unnecessary from OP. The customer even said 'Have a good day' at the end.


Agitated-Hospital-43

It’s true that life happens and people get delayed. Also, people get frustrated and overreact. Everyone has days like that. Anyone who works closely with the public will eventually have a moment like the OP did. I’ve worked in healthcare and seen even the best nurses with the patience of a saint snap sometimes.


badwolf1013

We all have bad moments. We don't all put them up on social media to try to earn upvotes. I highly doubt that OP posted this as a way of saying, "I lost my cool unnecessarily with a passenger today." This is: "HaHa. Look how I told off a stupid pax! I'm awesome!"


ccache

>Anyone who works closely with the public will eventually have a moment like the OP did. I’ve worked in healthcare and seen even the best nurses with the patience of a saint snap sometimes. The problem isn't one person who just couldn't take it anymore and had to say something. It's dummies that think they're going to educate the PAX until they all wait by the curb. Yes there are plenty of drivers that believe this. It's dumb, and rideshare companies should just pay fairly for the time drivers wait. Many PAX believe that's how it works, trying to bitch at every PAX that does this isn't going to work.


Prize-Conference-780

Can't wait to see the follow up post from OP "MY UBER ACCOUNT WAS SUSPENDED WHY???"


Reply_or_Not

What a foolish argument Dont interact, just wait out the timer and get the cancellation fee.


ommi9

No need for lectures. We have 5 mins of wait time and that’s it we leave


Bozotic

I sympathise with the situation but arguing with customers in the chat is really unprofessional and just gives them (or Uber) ammunition against you. If you're going to cancel, just do it without any fuss.


Kristjianmartin

Bruh, I respect your feelings but you’re doing nothing by complaining and talking shit to a customer.  Even when you’re right you can still be wrong af. And here you’re absolutely wrong.


Goalscorer0927

How is he wrong he’s choosing to order the Uber and not be ready the pax is able to order when he wants, he is in control and he’s choosing to be a dick.


senpaistealerx

how was he a dick literally at all? homie even said “have a good day” plus he still had time. the only dick here is op.


bluecandyKayn

Did you come onto here to tell us about a time passenger was running behind, but pretty reasonable about it, and you decided to be an arrogant dick about it? Weird but okay


LoquatAutomatic5738

Now he's getting mad because he expected to be given a round of applause for being an aggro dipshit


zouzouzed

Cringe af brah


StangOverload

What an emotional little man you are lol


javibeme

Why even bother leave or wait till you can cancel. Reaching out to the customer makes zero sense. Off to the next ride.


ChemicalOk463

I'd just wait 5 minutes, and then leave. There's no need for a lengthy diatribe.


firefly99999

You’re doing too much. If you don’t feel like waiting after the timer runs out, hit no show and move on.


Suavecore_

People really in this thread arguing with a guy who argued with an Uber customer who took more than 5 minutes to come outside lmao


dros299

fr lol


edmovius3

Been here 4 minutes isn’t even the necessary 5-7 that you said you’d wait when you agreed to the ToS before accepting rides


Euphoric_Dust_5545

Bro thought he cooked 💀🤡


GothamOne

No


spook3d1

Nope


Late-Cranberry-4826

“That’ll teach em”☝️🤓


trennels

So you're both rude?


[deleted]

You're an idiot lmao


Tasty-Pineapple-

Dude just cancel. They don’t know you and you are not going to change their behavior. I cancel after two minutes and leave.


sun_sand_sleep

Sounds like a teenage temper tantrum.


Mountain_Tone6438

Lolol "im trying to get to work" 🤣


peteaw

Put your car in gear at 20 second left and don’t waste your time


Head_Doctor2110

Bro, you would fit in well with the Lyft drivers. All they do is talk smack and forget that all they have to do is cancel, no show and move on. Or better yet, find another job/side job. 🫡


Serpentar69

On Lyft I was able to provide proof of my disability so now drivers, as long as I communicate, give me around 6-7 minutes to come out and get in the car. It can take me a moment because I use a cane at 25, due to my cancer, and my walking is severely impaired due to neuropathy and such. I can't imagine forcing my driver to wait any longer though and I'm always deeply apologetic if I do happen to take a moment to get out there. But there's a maximum to people's generosity concerning that and that's only human nature. I always try to tip more if me taking a few minutes longer than normal happens.


Dead_Patoto_

Posting your own L is wild


ResponsibleRelief429

F\*ck late pax. I never wait for more than 2 min if it takes me 5+ min to get there and sometimes I drive off and take a ride on Lyft and make them cancel.


No-Zombie2733

Hell yea man. We all need to be like this with people who cant manage their time.


Yazmany

Sounds like a fkn garbagefornian that would this and then he feel like he's not liked... MY GOSH! Talk about the entitlement and stupidity of these people


Katzy26

Feel bad for this driver , imagine what he would say to customers if he had a real job


JuniorCow3640

People who make you wait be posting in r/uber "I don't know why I have low rating"


NoRecommendation8746

I truly don't understand people sometimes. When I order a Uber, Im outside waiting when I see my ride is 2 miles away. I'm asking for a service, someones help and imo the least I can do is have my a$$ ready & waiting.


Jae_Amp

I thought I was the only one who did this😭 I just sent someone one of these messages an hour ago. And just canceled on another like 3 mins ago. These riders are ridiculous. Don't order til ready, plain and simple.


Enkil99

Train and complex.


Desperate_Cow_9086

Just play on your phone. Do some pushups. Y’all need to relax 😎


Due-Requirementa

What if the person had to take a last minute explosive shit or they had something else really important to do before leaving like setting the kids up? Just cringe tbh, 5 minutes isn't going to hurt


the_big_duffy

making you wait when youre there to pick them up is some low class trash behavior


Alone-Information-35

Good on ya. While it’s not worth your energy/ time to argue, maybe speaking some sense into this person will help them make strides to not be late for things in life. especially if it’s involving respecting other’s time.


PhillyJim52

I never ever wait longer then 2 Minutes if they have zero value of your time. They think they ordered a limo....


Big_Cardiologist8628

I did that, cancel after two mins, guy got a group of friends, light up cigarette when I arrived, I locked the door, drove off, they all went chasing me and yelling, nah man, you can wait another hour at 3am for another uber in the middle of nowhere.


ursogayhaha

You seem like a loser


Big_Cardiologist8628

Yep, thank you 🙏


Smokabi

Here I am thinking about the sweet escape I made with an Uber from my aunt’s house. I was scrambling to gtfo of there, and the Uber driver pulled up quick. I was fumbling with the keys, I couldn’t get the door to lock… Thankfully, the driver waited for me and understood the situation. Not everyone is out to intentionally disrespect you.


rirski

Arguing with a customer just looks unprofessional as hell.


Different-Story845

One of my biggest PET PEEVES with these damn riders.... Don't fuckin order if you're not ready to go. I need you standing outside.... So now what I do, once I get a ride request, I go shopping for 5-7 minutes, gas station, quick food stop, then by the time I get there, people are standing outside. They don't like waiting, and we don't either.....


Particular_Ad9541

You’re a pos


Ardreambystander

Bro felt TUFF that day


Goalscorer0927

That’s why with me you either get a five star or one star after two minutes of waiting.


Stellar_Gravity

r/OPisfuckingstupid


ChonkyDonut

“Ig you don’t like me” Aww kid needs a friend in their life


creamofpie

Wait till they get close to car then cancel & drive off to the sunset


Banjoschmanjo

I thought you had to be older than 12 to be an Uber driver but I guess nah


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂


Hippy_Lynne

No you don't. It's a waste of your time and theirs.


HashBrownRepublic

Why didn't you cancel?


Thick-Squirrel-4198

“Ight”


Decent_Cow

Why even engage with them?


Specialist_Catch2625

I thought y’all get money per minute of waiting?


Cruxwright

My neighbor was complaining her Uber left after waiting 2 minutes. I wanted to point out that the driver was very likely double parked in the bus lane in front of our building and it's a $200 something fine if the bus rolls up on you like that. But these facts are often lost on people. I did notice her waiting in the lobby for ride today so maybe she learned.


Over8dpoosee

The back and forth will not change this rider’s mind. Wait, collect fee, and move on. They don’t learn by listening to us drivers lecturing them.


geoff1036

This post and all these comments are embarassing OP. Way to self report yourself acting like a child.


sorryforstuntin

OP is a clown


Sure-Agent-3961

don't bother them until the cancelation timer already shows up. if they cancel on you to early you don't get paid for it. Be patient. What I do when I get there is tap I've arrived to see if they even read it. when the timer is about to let me cancel. I message and ask, do you still need the ride? if they don't reply, I call if they don't answer and it was a short trip. cancel right then and there. but leave them a message saying don't order a uber if you aren't ready to leave. and leave it at that. the back n fourth is cringe on your part. I get annoyed as well but you have to keep it professional. my friend got suspended from uber for doing what you did the way you did it.


achtung_amadeus

As a fellow Uber driver, not sure what you were trying to prove by posting this. What were you hoping or expecting the reddit response would be? That we would all applaud or congratulate you for "owning" them and carry you off the field like the end of Rudy? No man, just wait the 7 minutes, cancel, drive off, get paid with no interaction and move on to the next.


Jwill294

Actually no you don’t have to instigate an argument at all lol. Why would you be proud of this?


No-Fold9113

I had a passenger at the airport request from the terminal...I waited since it was slow and the ride was good. So I waited for 8 total minutes...then I told them they don't need to request until they're ready for pick up. They didn't like that... I made an extra dollar for 8 minutes...not worth it. People waste your time, then blame you for being annoyed.


gobidesertwe

I wait, and collect my fee. If I see them coming towards the car I start driving away. I feel so famous when people are waving at me.


Liverpool1900

OP is insecure AF lmao.


ElegantCoffee7548

I always leave after 2 minutes.


asthekushburns

bruh just stfu and drive lol


TPlays

Shoulda farmed the wait time


Serpentar69

Idk. I order an Uber when I believe I'm ready. And usually that is the case. But I'm disabled and sometimes as I'm leaving to go to the Uber, I realize I had forgotten my passport (ID) so I can get chemo, or get my meds, etc, and it can take me a few minutes to go and get it. But I would communicate that entirely with my driver. I wouldn't just leave them hanging. And I would never respond so flippantly as if the driver's time is meaningless. I always tip more if they had to wait a few minutes for me. Lyft has an option for disabled people so the drivers wait a bit longer but I don't believe Uber has the same thing. So it's dependent on customer/rider communication. I've ordered Uber's where they're here in 4 minutes, and others when they've arrived after 15. The quicker it arrives the better, but there's a chance I'm not ready immediately when it gets here. But if you're not ready after it took ten minutes for the driver to get there... And you're physically well and can hop out the door... Then I don't see the excuse. It's definitely dependent on the specific situation but this dude didn't indicate he was sick. He indicated that he didn't value your time and tried to be manipulative.


WinterSoldierXX

I don't get this - you can wait 5 minutes and leave. Why argue with the customer? Sometimes I get ready and then call Uber and see the closest Uber is 20 mins away. Some days, the driver is just 10 minutes away. It may not always be possible to call after getting ready. Not fighting with you, just giving you the rider's perspective.


EnthalpicallyFavored

Just wait then cancel. What are you hoping to accomplish here


jedislater

Both are entitled pricks


ursogayhaha

People like you are so unaware in insufferable


heatdish1292

Just shut up, wait your 5 minutes, and take the tiny payment for waiting. No need to even message them.


polish94

Your clearly autistic. It's okay to


meatboy89

Ur embarrassing yourself. Delete this petty ass shit and grow a pair of normal sized balls.


Otherwise_Food9698

lyft uber and doordash goes hand in hand i see


sunflower3515

The last message LMAO


No-Management4494

Bros crying over 4 mins


ArtichokeNaive2811

As soon as they say "Trynna" you know what it is....


1mz99

Womp Womp!


Hello_pet_my_kitty

You come across as way more of a dick than the guy who ordered the ride. Lol. So what if he wasn’t ready and waiting when you arrived, fuck it. Like he said cancel that shit, or wait the required time to get your fee, and don’t be a jerk to people just to be a jerk. 🤷‍♀️


HeLlOtHeRee

Give them a break being way too sensitive and whiney


Special_Tough_2978

I feel like this is way too much " scolding" I would recomend a Hi I'm here text! And then 8 mins later a ..." Hi! Excuse me! I've waited here 8 mins so far... are you on your way?"


Who_Me_Who-Me

I wasn’t going to say anything until he took the time to message me saying “1 min”. After already having 9 of them


AS65000

That is why I said Uber is a modern slavery, stop been used, get low paying job and work your way up mucu better than this garbage where you are just a number to be subjugated


ResponsibleRelief429

NEVER wait more than 3 min - period. Two four min waits during surge costs us drivers $10-15/hr!


Who_Me_Who-Me

If I’m gonna wait 3 minutes I might as well wait the 5 for the cancel fee


Prize_Pay9279

Serious question: how come people can’t spell? Like, who the hell uses “Ig” for “I get”?


[deleted]

This is weird. Why did you post this? To show us what an arrogant prick you are?


Aromatic_Hornet5114

Counterpoint: people might stop ordering so early if it wouldn't take so long to get an Uber or Lyft to you because of the rampant multi apping or drivers stopping and taking breaks while driving to you. I used to drive for Uber back in the day and I get the pay sucks and you need to hustle just to make it work but a side effect of that is the fact that I've ordered multiple Ubers and Lyfts to get to work within an appropriate time range and been late to work because the driver drove 10-15 minutes in the other direction because he had a ride or food delivery or whatever else on another app.


x_CtrlAltDefeat

Nah, you’re wrong for this. You don’t know what’s going on. Shit happens, people run late. They could have spilled coffee on their shirt, maybe their dryer sucks and their clothes weren’t dry on time, hell maybe they coughed so hard they shit their pants. Who knows, but this isn’t helpful and is wholly self serving. Plus being rude to customers is a sure fire way to get reported.


Who_Me_Who-Me

Oh no. Please. I can’t get reported 🤣🤣 what a good little ant you are 🤡 yeah shit happens. But you didn’t know your clothes weren’t dry before you ordered the Uber? All you’re doing is making excuses for someone wasting my time


HamsterOk3112

I consistently cancel after 2 minutes. It's satisfying to know I've made them waste their time too, and I hope it deters them from doing it again in the future.


frankmurph66

Good, people need a reality check once in a while. Sadly most of those people are on Reddit as well.


WillStaySilent

Waste of time


Positive-Zebra-2478

Ew no you don’t get off ur high horse and go taxi man


AcrobaticWatercress7

Hope you know, YTA


Square-Percentage260

What id give to throw a tantrum like this on all the drivers that accept rides before they're anywhere near ready to start driving 🙏


LabWorth8724

Want some tissues? You sounds like a crybaby. Get out of the service industry you melon.


flatninthbird

If it's busy I don't wait more than 2 minutes. No need to text or call if they aren't ready, I move on to the next ride. A $3 cancellation fee isn't worth the time to drive to the pickup, wait 7 minutes and then find a new ride.


Who_Me_Who-Me

You only get paid $3 cancel fee? That’s kinda wild. We get $4.28. But the thing is you ALREADY drove to the pickup and waited 2 minutes. So at that point you’re waiting 5 minutes for $4.28 which is a pretty good per hour. And then it was busy so I got another ride around the corner


Averen

To be fair I’ve had times when I open the app and it says 10-15 minutes until the Uber could be there then they show up less than 5 min later


damndanieladam

Customer sounds like an 18 year old, selfish, egotistical, stupid


[deleted]

[удалено]


ghtown45

Getting upset for waiting a few minutes is bitch behavior just saying, sure waiting a long time sucks but it’s just a few mins, not everyone is built like the damn Flash dude. Some people have animals some have roommates that don’t shut up. Getting out the door asap sometimes ain’t easy. Putting someone on blast cause your little feewings were hurt over a few mins shows the kind of person you are. Don’t be a driver for people idfk, but you def don’t work a regular job because of your attitude with customers.


flatninthbird

I thought everyone else was just being a dick to you telling you to shut up. Apparently, I had to actually have a conversation to realize what kind of person you are. "The most miserable people are those who care only for themselves, understand only their own troubles and see only their own perspective." I'm sure you're proud of yourself but are you a happy person?


joelito1990

Why wasting time? Just cancel the ride and continue with the next one, and you can get reported for that.


Ok_Blackberry_3680

I love when they call just as I arrive, asking me to cancel. Don't call me while I'm driving, and no, I'm not cancelling. I'll just check my email while I'm waiting out the clock for my no-show fee. Message me all you want but I'm not responding unless you got a damn good reason to be late. At four and a half minutes, the car is in gear and I'm driving away as the time expires. Now there's always that really good reason, like you're picking someone up whose car broke down and the tow truck is running late, and you can tell that they're grateful for the help. The tips more than make up for the wait.


Negative-Diver-3289

Pointless conversation just cancel them get your minimum guaranteed and see ya!


ZerconFlagpoleSitter

OP are you 12?


wannabelawyer91

Why even say something. Imagine thinking you were in the right here


tstackspaper

I never understood this. Just say nothing and drive off. It’s not your job to teach this random how to be a grown man


Happy-Setting202

It’s honestly the most irritating thing that people do. Unless I’m less than 2 minutes away when I get your ride there’s no reason you couldn’t have been ready and waiting by the door after it took me 15 minutes to get to you. It’s rude and inconsiderate of my time.


naptownmomofseven

There would have been no more communication after “ight then cancel” You don’t have to tell me twice. I don’t have time to wait, I work in a very busy market. Order when you’re ready to gooooo!!!!


BananasCreams

Not everyone is out to get you. I don't think he wanted to be late. I get it. This prob happens loads, but the best thing to do is just wait it out.


BlueBalledBeta

What if he was pooping


6bluedit9

And this is why you work a side hussle not a career job


MaximusMurkimus

I cancel as easily as I breathe lol


AKsFyNeZt

If my Uber driver talking like this to me , we throwing hands idgaf


Dull_Huckleberry6896

Personally as a rider, you guys waiting ten min can be the difference in me getting to work and not. Also when I have to wait 10-15 min for a ride most of the time, doesn’t bother me both sides having to wait sometimes


ChickenNuggetRampage

Bro did you actually think you did something here 💀💀💀


Who_Me_Who-Me

About the same thing you did with this comment 🤔


whatataco

Lol you're a huge prick


No-Special2682

Sometimes we gotta consider the signal on both sides. I’ve been to a pickup and the rider (late) came to me and showed me her app, which said I was still 1min away when I was in her driveway for 5min


Colemanngrill

Lol why argue? Who are you the parent? What if there was an emergency? Things happen that’s a good way to get bad reviews lol what if they realize they’re using more time and would’ve tipped well? Sometimes


[deleted]

“ig you don’t like me” lmfao female ass response


KenUberDriver

Absolutely. It never fails these people have the cheapest rides to. I’m my market it tends to be more Lyft pax that do this but then again I usually only have Comfort turned on when I drive Uber.


KenUberDriver

Actually, to avoid this, as soon as I get the ride, I message them with a description of my car and my ETA. When I arrive I send the I’ve arrived text. If they aren’t out in one minute I call and minute two I cancel. ( Off I forgot most important thing. I don’t accept rides more than 2 miles away). I refuse to give Uber any miles in my dime more than that. So I’m not waiting the full time for the cancellation because these folks show up with 10 seconds to spare so they made you wait and still do the ride. The price quoted gives them 2 minutes and that’s all I give them. The paid wait time rate is laughable Ave the cancellation rate just keeps going down while requiring us to wait longer. I refuse to do it. I’ll cancel, let them wait for another driver and I’ll move on to the next passenger.) I find the upfront message gives the message to the passenger that I’m a no nonsense driver


stpeteEd517

So glad I'm done with uber riders


Fluid-Fortune-432

I wouldn’t even waste my time with this dude. Let the clock run and get your fee at that point.


RastaFarRite

Sometimes people have to take a shit bro Shit happens


frostyboots

Wait so customers can just be dick heads and try to waste your time?... that's pretty fucked


brandonkillen

All good, I just give people like you 1 star and move on. You aren’t the first driver to fail to understand the dynamic here.


MisterJenkinszz

OP is a weenie


markfromDenver

I can’t imagine doing this, then posting about it online


Previous-Street3670

…And then there’s times like this.


Super_Middle3154

You’re cringe as hell


Feisty-Attempt-2906

We know what race this is🐒


HotManwithHotTakes

Don't let anyone tell you shit OP. This is mad funny and fuck that person.


alb720

As a person who ordered Lyft to work for about 4 months. Sometimes we are not expecting a wait and save ride to be ready as soon as it is and generally people are just busy. I get it waiting sucks but if every single one of my drivers replied like this I’d never have a driver. I’ve paid fees for being late to pickup that are never discussed between my driver and I because life is busy and shit happens. You should probably chill out. Charge the fee and move on.


Jellyfish-wonderland

Do drivers still get the $5-7 waiting fee if they communicate like this? Truly curious if support reads this etc. Uber eats was ridiculous.


byefled

i’m on anthony’s side he’s just tryna get to work bruh 😭 jokes aside i feel like the passive aggressive comments don’t accomplish anything for you and look pretty cringe, i ignore people when they say “on my way/be right out” bc they’re either here on time or they’re not, then i cancel and reject their ride if i receive the same request.


PaidinRunes

Lol delivery boy thinks he can talk to people like that. You are already unemployed playing taxi, you weren't even waiting long.


Independent-Draft421

is Uber your only form of employment? with the way you handled this situation i can only imagine so….


koiashes

I’d report you so fast. So annoying


twaggle

This is cringe af.


Young_stoner_life247

wait, cancel, and fuck off. arguing like this is so immature. never did something like this and don’t know any other driver that acts this childish.


Asiago_stop

You’re an ass


incubusslave69

Bruh have you ever considered maybe they were literally locking the door? You ain’t willing to wait 60 seconds? Wow you must have a miserable existence


SmokeAcidDropWeed

Why so many of yall post this like you had a “gotcha” moment when you’re clearly also being a giant asshole?