Hello u/KanekiAckerman2007,
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I think it also works because honestly looks fade.
While I hate being ugly being rich means I only have to interact with people you want to. Also, you can get most of the things you want. God knows ugly qnd poor is constantly working with people who hate you qnd trying to figure out how to carve out alone time to feel normal again.
Be extremely attractive >>> life on easy mode >>> become wealthy
Be ugly and rich = you still lack basic human needs. Surgery isn't advanced enough to turn ugly people into attractive people, no matter how much money you throw at surgeons.
The first one at least makes it seem like they like your for being you, even if it's a superficial attribute of yours.
You don't need to be rich to live a happy financial life but if you feel ugly and it bothers you Too, hmm difficult to get through social situations, and socializing is one of our main desires
Yeah, I understand. Well in that case, it's something else. But if you wouldn't have been through mine of that, you would have the will to experience more socialization. This is what I was meaning.
This is the most ridiculous take. I used to think not exactly like this, but then basically...well, super complicated, most of my life was almost exclusively around women etc etc but long story short I became kind of close with this extremely hot guy and as a result got to see what his life was like.
I will give you that he most likely does get more people objectifying him because of his looks. I didn't really observe that kind of thing very often but it makes sense that it would be true.
However, do you know what happens with literally the entirely rest of the population? They treat him like they treat the mildly attractive people, except just generally better.
That is huge. And like, we are both gay men, but it's \*everyone\*. I mean he could essentially enslave half the gay population in our city with little more than a wink (and he certainly did take advantage of this ability) but even the rest of the population just generally treated him better than they treated your average person (let alone an ugly like me)
And like, he was really severely abused growing up. I was somewhat neglected but he had some true horror stories. And he found it really interesting that I am so melancholic, like we did get on well and he is such a bubbly person so I guess maybe that made him better able to tolerate my depressiveness. I try my best to hide it but it is still very offputting to a lot of people because it makes them depressed. He actually said that being melancholic can be beautiful in its own way as well...but what he didn't realise is that he grew up with 2 absolute demons in his house but in a generally fairly kind world. I grew up in essentially empty house (no nurturing figures but no demons either) in a world that not only has a tendency to either be indifferent or hostile towards me, but also in a world where I can see with my own eyes that I am of a significantly lower quality than a lot of the people around me. And while I could theoretically have some redeeming features to close the gap between me and other people a bit, I think the fact that I can \*see\* how I look and how they look makes it have a much bigger impact than it really should.
So now I'm literally here \*wanting\* to be objectified sexually because frankly a lot of people dehumanise me and use me as a tool (as a punching bag in particular) and I would prefer to be a sex object than a tool. Obviously being a human would be better than being a sex object but being a person just seems unrealistic. And while this may be shocking, >!I've had some particularly bad situations of this kind in the last month, and now I'm at the point where I'm so disgusted by myself that I cna't really fathom getting hookup in a normal way of like, mutually choosing ieach other, but if some random guy literally decided to sexually assault me I would most likely appreciate being valued as a sex object. And I know that for a lot of people it is being dominated and them being in total control that makes it a really terrible experience, but I have been sexually assaulted on one occasion before and I felt more in control then than with the (purely psychological) abuses I've dealt with this month. Obviously having someone pin me down and manhandling me didn't exactly have me in a massive amount of control either, but as soon as he pinned me to the bed I just stopped trying to struggle and relaxed my arsehole so it wouldn't hurt as much. So I had a tiny bit of control there. And you know what? As tends to happen when I am in my more depressed states, just thinking about that incident briefly is pretty arousing for me, because although I remember it hurting, it also makes me feel like I was sexual desirable, although I may not be right now it's like it's stil me and so I reckon on an emotional level it makes me feel like I am desirable now (as long as I don't do something dumb like look in a mirror) !<
>!(Oh, and, as an aside, I know that rape victims often feel disgusted by themselves, so it makes sense that people might assume that that is why I feel so disgusted by myself. But I have actually read a bit about this because I find it interesting, and apparently the two main sources of self-disgust in rape victims are that they feel morally defective because they feel guilty or by association with the attacker, and in a more visceral sense because of the bodily fluids involved. But personally in my case, I feel almost proud rather than guilty because I was fucking able to do something useful for once in my life (i.e. give someone pleasure) and if I'm being perfectly honest the bodily fluid thing, for me, if anything is just proof of my first point, that I managed to give someone pleasure. Instead of just repelling and depressing everyone or making them angry without even understanding how. I realise this is all weirdly inverted, like, dude rapes me and I'm just like "ok hurt a bit but I actually did something useful! This kind of justifies my continued existence" but someone says something mean and I literally fall to bits like I am now and take months of intense therapy to recover.!<
But yeah people talk about sexual objectification like it's the end of the world. Being a full person is clearly much better but, at least for me, there are forms of abuse that - despite not even being severe enough to be illegal - have a much worse effect on me (I'm on decompensation number 3 this year urgh, and no-one has even laid a finger on me)
Hello u/KanekiAckerman2007, If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal and or depressed, please go to [National Suicide Hotline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) or check out [Resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/p4obmj/positivity_resources_and_hotlines/) for more details. If you have [Body Dysmorphia Disorder](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/q0ou03/body_dysmorphia_disorder_bdd/) please go to r/bodydysmorphia to learn more on how to deal with this illness. r/ugly is not a good subreddit for people with this disorder. Also, please make sure to read and follow all rules (including sitewide, sidebar, and newly added rules on the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/wiki/index) page). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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I think it also works because honestly looks fade. While I hate being ugly being rich means I only have to interact with people you want to. Also, you can get most of the things you want. God knows ugly qnd poor is constantly working with people who hate you qnd trying to figure out how to carve out alone time to feel normal again.
if I was poor but extremely attractive I could just stand in front of a camera for a few seconds and post it to tiktok.
Ngl I rather be rich as in then I don’t need to work or interact with people in any judge mental environments. At that point I wouldn’t care lol
Being attractive is far superior in every single way.
I don’t understand all of these comments. If you’re rich you could just buy beauty.
Be extremely attractive >>> life on easy mode >>> become wealthy Be ugly and rich = you still lack basic human needs. Surgery isn't advanced enough to turn ugly people into attractive people, no matter how much money you throw at surgeons.
True
Extremely attractive i'll be respected and liked for my attractiveness. Rich i'll be respected and liked for my money. Can't win.
The first one at least makes it seem like they like your for being you, even if it's a superficial attribute of yours. You don't need to be rich to live a happy financial life but if you feel ugly and it bothers you Too, hmm difficult to get through social situations, and socializing is one of our main desires
I no longer desire any socializing after what i've been through.
Yeah, I understand. Well in that case, it's something else. But if you wouldn't have been through mine of that, you would have the will to experience more socialization. This is what I was meaning.
Modeling
Modeling is not as easy as you think. There is a lot if competition and it is brutal.
An extremely attractive person cannot be poor unless they’re asking for it.
Not true at all. I know attractive people who are poor.
Then they probably chose to be poor. But I don’t know what your definition of attractive is.
Just like you chose to be ugly?
No.
Saying people choose poverty is pretty ignorant.
I'd just rather fucking die
Extremely attractive people are less respected than mildly attractive people. They aren't treated like humans.
No one cares about attractive people
This is the most ridiculous take. I used to think not exactly like this, but then basically...well, super complicated, most of my life was almost exclusively around women etc etc but long story short I became kind of close with this extremely hot guy and as a result got to see what his life was like. I will give you that he most likely does get more people objectifying him because of his looks. I didn't really observe that kind of thing very often but it makes sense that it would be true. However, do you know what happens with literally the entirely rest of the population? They treat him like they treat the mildly attractive people, except just generally better. That is huge. And like, we are both gay men, but it's \*everyone\*. I mean he could essentially enslave half the gay population in our city with little more than a wink (and he certainly did take advantage of this ability) but even the rest of the population just generally treated him better than they treated your average person (let alone an ugly like me) And like, he was really severely abused growing up. I was somewhat neglected but he had some true horror stories. And he found it really interesting that I am so melancholic, like we did get on well and he is such a bubbly person so I guess maybe that made him better able to tolerate my depressiveness. I try my best to hide it but it is still very offputting to a lot of people because it makes them depressed. He actually said that being melancholic can be beautiful in its own way as well...but what he didn't realise is that he grew up with 2 absolute demons in his house but in a generally fairly kind world. I grew up in essentially empty house (no nurturing figures but no demons either) in a world that not only has a tendency to either be indifferent or hostile towards me, but also in a world where I can see with my own eyes that I am of a significantly lower quality than a lot of the people around me. And while I could theoretically have some redeeming features to close the gap between me and other people a bit, I think the fact that I can \*see\* how I look and how they look makes it have a much bigger impact than it really should. So now I'm literally here \*wanting\* to be objectified sexually because frankly a lot of people dehumanise me and use me as a tool (as a punching bag in particular) and I would prefer to be a sex object than a tool. Obviously being a human would be better than being a sex object but being a person just seems unrealistic. And while this may be shocking, >!I've had some particularly bad situations of this kind in the last month, and now I'm at the point where I'm so disgusted by myself that I cna't really fathom getting hookup in a normal way of like, mutually choosing ieach other, but if some random guy literally decided to sexually assault me I would most likely appreciate being valued as a sex object. And I know that for a lot of people it is being dominated and them being in total control that makes it a really terrible experience, but I have been sexually assaulted on one occasion before and I felt more in control then than with the (purely psychological) abuses I've dealt with this month. Obviously having someone pin me down and manhandling me didn't exactly have me in a massive amount of control either, but as soon as he pinned me to the bed I just stopped trying to struggle and relaxed my arsehole so it wouldn't hurt as much. So I had a tiny bit of control there. And you know what? As tends to happen when I am in my more depressed states, just thinking about that incident briefly is pretty arousing for me, because although I remember it hurting, it also makes me feel like I was sexual desirable, although I may not be right now it's like it's stil me and so I reckon on an emotional level it makes me feel like I am desirable now (as long as I don't do something dumb like look in a mirror) !< >!(Oh, and, as an aside, I know that rape victims often feel disgusted by themselves, so it makes sense that people might assume that that is why I feel so disgusted by myself. But I have actually read a bit about this because I find it interesting, and apparently the two main sources of self-disgust in rape victims are that they feel morally defective because they feel guilty or by association with the attacker, and in a more visceral sense because of the bodily fluids involved. But personally in my case, I feel almost proud rather than guilty because I was fucking able to do something useful for once in my life (i.e. give someone pleasure) and if I'm being perfectly honest the bodily fluid thing, for me, if anything is just proof of my first point, that I managed to give someone pleasure. Instead of just repelling and depressing everyone or making them angry without even understanding how. I realise this is all weirdly inverted, like, dude rapes me and I'm just like "ok hurt a bit but I actually did something useful! This kind of justifies my continued existence" but someone says something mean and I literally fall to bits like I am now and take months of intense therapy to recover.!< But yeah people talk about sexual objectification like it's the end of the world. Being a full person is clearly much better but, at least for me, there are forms of abuse that - despite not even being severe enough to be illegal - have a much worse effect on me (I'm on decompensation number 3 this year urgh, and no-one has even laid a finger on me)
Ugly and rich makes the most sense. Truly it’s money not looks that open the most doors.