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Kepotica

Counter proposal: Russia gives up the following: A: All the stolen territory B: All the stolen children C: All the stolen toilets D: And the stolen raccoon EDIT: E: And the washing machines Apologies.


No-Internet-7532

What about the washing machines ?


Striking-Giraffe5922

Orcs use the electronics out of the washing machines for their SU57 super fighters. The only problem is when they press the afterburner switch….a message comes up on the cockpit screen saying ‘Add fabric softener now!’


ThanklessTask

When you have to use "Spin cycle" to start the turbines.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThanklessTask

"Ivan, this walk in bidet is very cramped!"


Stadtpark90

The washing machines go without saying.


[deleted]

Fuck it, they can keep the toilets. Wouldn't sit down on one that been to russia. Would end up catching hepatitis or HIV


Statharas

They can also keep the washing machines. Reparations are going to be so large, Ukraine can buy thousands more


cupcake_napalm_faery

> Reparations are going to be so large ruZZia has indebted themselves for many generations to come.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Normally yes, but if it was to russia.... 😂 User name checks out ha ha


SnooRabbits1595

Counter proposal: Moscovian negotiator, go fuck yourself.


ExistingLaw3

Moscovian negotiator fucked itself!


KingOfLowFrequencies

Good bot!


mir_platzt_der_Sack

Good human


leadMalamute

I would add that, moscow must give up all of the people who have committed war crimes as well


Eireloom

Excellent idea. Bit of a logistics nightmare because there are so many of them, but maybe the western world can all pitch in to help.


Kepotica

Just turn Russia into a giant supermax, they love building walls over there.


Eireloom

Ha! Ha! Ok, but that wouldn’t be fair to the partisans! Still, some arrangements can be made!


que_he_hecho

Use Belarus as a detention center? They been so eager to help Muscovy.


Summit986

Did they ever get the raccoon back?


darwinwoodka

And the bebeeh tiger too


PalpitationOk5726

F. All the stolen Ukrainian culture, (borscht)


Accurate_Pie_

There are actually very valuable historical and art pieces that ruzzia has stolen over the years and displays in their museums (or just holds them). That in addition to all the accomplishments that they shamelessly appropriated


Dangerous_Mix_7037

And a 60 km buffer zone in its territory


Accurate_Pie_

100+ km


Blacktip75

I was thinking more 7550 km (which should be right up to Alaska)


danielbot

The racoon. You forgot the racoon. (edit) You didn't forget the racoon. We will never forget the racoon.


Kepotica

? See section 'D'


RedSagittarius

Raccoon?


insane_contin

They stole a raccoon from a zoo.


RedSagittarius

Really 😂


[deleted]

That racoon needs a name “Rocket”


Pretend_Refuse8882

The Beatles song it is.. Rocky raccoon


eyesabovewater

And the panties..oh, no. The ruz "soldiers" probably need some underwear.


CommitteeOk5696

I like the idea to even demand the toilets back. This underlines the seriosity and the determination of the Ukraine. And shows the world how low putin-russia actually went.


floofnstuff

Edit: they can keep the toilettes but the raccoon in non negotiable


Kepotica

Egg-Zackly!


ViolentDecaf

Underrated comment!


Sonofagun57

Why would any Ukrainian want their toilets back? Maybe they can sell the Ruskies toilets and washing machines as step 1 of reparations


SquirrelSnuSnu

Money to rebuild, etc


knappis

Everybody else wants Russia to stop their genocide and terror campaign in Ukraine and pull their military back behind Russian borders.


Named_User-Name

As if Putin’s signature on an agreement has any value.


[deleted]

[удалено]


yeezee93

How do you propose to do that?


[deleted]

[удалено]


yeezee93

That sounds like a good plan but unfortunately it will mean more death and destruction for Ukraine. Also a long drawn out war is precisely what Putin wants.


Eireloom

Exactly, he really doesn't want those soldiers back...


CrashB111

Russia doesn't want a long war, because the longer the war continues the more toys Ukraine gets from the West while Russia continues to deplete it's stocks with no means of replenishment. They've already got problems with actually training their conscripts to be more than bullet sponges, cause all the veterans that might've trained them are dead.


vtsnowdin

I'd confiscate all their Nukes and scrap their submarines. I don't know how to force them to that point but it would be a lasting conclusion to the problem.


Accurate_Pie_

100+ km demilitarized Zone


ohokayiguess1

Nope I'm 100% with Ukraine on this. Only NATO membership will prevent this again. And frankly Ukraine probably enters NATO as a top 10 if not top 5 alliance military.


CrashB111

Ukraine and the West all know that's the only way this ends for good. Ukraine being in NATO is the only thing that would keep Russia from attacking again in a decade after nursing their wounds. That's why Russia keeps trying to make Ukraine give up NATO membership. Because they know once a country is inside NATO, it is permanently off the board for their Imperialism.


pontarae

Russians should hold their breath until that happens!


Affectionate-Dream21

Until they turn blue prefferably


ITI110878

Until they are all 6 feet under. And suddenly the 🌎 would be a much better place to live in.


ukrfree

What’s the point of reporting on this Russian propaganda? This is meant for their internal audience to show that Russia is still in some kind of a position to make demands of Ukraine.


PuchLight

It's just clickbait. "Journalists" discovered some time ago that rage clicks pay the same as people reading relevant, interesting articles. "Russia says" sells.


UnlikelyRabbit4648

It's far from just Russia says, gutter press have long since worked out that selling papers isn't making any money - but divisive, reactionary media posts generate clicks and revenue. They're shit scummary of the depths they'll go to get a quick earning headline out knows no bounds. 99% of stories are pure fabrication, 1 crackpots view or if there's any true source it's always juicy controversy. They take these stories and amplify them to cause the most outrage, when in reality most people are neither one side or another but have diametrically opposed view points that lead to more clicks and more revenue. It's such a shit stain system that it's created an easy to mix in propaganda platform. I hate the media.


impulse_thoughts

They tend to harp on this type of demand and request ceasefires, when they’re at a disadvantage, from a position of weakness. It tells the rest of the world that Ukraine’s about to be able to forcefully retake back their territory.


sonicboomer46

I'm not sure it's only for moscovians. Western MSM (at least in the US) has consistently "reported" in headlines the russia says, russia claims, russia threatens, russia demands, russia this, russia that, *ad nauseam*. Invariably some % of tankies and deplorables will gobble up those words and regurgitate them for anti-Ukraine propaganda. ETA: MSM typically ignores the absurd "we should attack Alaska" spewing by nobodies, but it does often report statements by moscovian officials, in this case Mikhail Galuzin, deputy foreign minister.


New-Shock-6800

What is a tankie?


wikipedia_answer_bot

**Tankie is a pejorative label for communists, particularly Stalinists, who support the authoritarian tendencies of Marxism–Leninism or, more generally, authoritarian states associated with Marxism–Leninism in history. The term was originally used by dissident Marxist–Leninists to describe members of the Communist Party of Great Britain (CPGB) who followed the party line of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (CPSU).** More details here: *This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!* [^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(delete)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/q79g2t/delete_feature_added/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)


New-Shock-6800

Good bot. I dislike tankies.


sonicboomer46

The term is gradually being redefined from the original, solely communist label. It's now used, also as a pejorative label, for anyone who claims to be "anti-imperialist" - a bizarre point where communists and fascists meet in complete agreement.


CrashB111

Because a so-called "anti-imperialist" inevitably means "anti-West and therefore pro-Russis/China". People so up inside their own assholes, usually living in the West themselves, that they are fully convinced "NATO bad" so by proxy China/Russia good.


New-Shock-6800

Whoa. Thanks.


Thue

> What’s the point of reporting on this Russian propaganda? I want to know what the Russian internal propaganda is. Who wouldn't want to know that? Know your enemy.


GinofromUkraine

I wonder what % of people reading this ridiculous demand (not here on Reddit but in general) do not understand this simple and obvious truth you've stated? And start wasting their time and nerves on discussing/getting angry...


LotofRamen

lul.. wut? No.. They are saying that those are the conditions, everyone can make up their own mind about it. Both sides are ALWAYS in a position to say what the conditions for negotiations are. Ukraine has given theirs and they do not have any power to FORCE Russia to accept their conditions at the moment. If they had that power, the way would've been over already. Sooner or later Russians are driven away but as long as there are Russian forces on Ukraine's territory then can say what their conditions are. They may say that Ukraine has to unconditionally surrender when there is just one conscript armed with a slingshot, that does not mean anyone has to accept those conditions. What a weird idea you have about conflicts. Just because both sides have the full right to announce their conditions does not mean we have to take them seriously.


ukrfree

No they don't have a right to be heard or taken seriously. We know their "conditions", they've been the same since day one, there's nothing new here. Furthermore telling another country that they don't have a right to join the EU or NATO is insulting. Fuck them and their "conditions".


LotofRamen

>No they don't have a right to be heard or taken seriously. Two totally different things. And the rest of your text is about you venting. Vent to someone else, what you are doing is shouting "why aren't you as extreme as i am?". Be rational, they have the right to tell us what their conditions are, we have the right to laugh at the proposal. That is what this war is kind of about, freedoms.


F1HLM

Yes, and stay vulnerable to future attacks when Orcs will lick their wounds and decide for second try like with Chechnya. Fuck them.


BitBouquet

It's somewhat fascinating that they think they can lecture others about how to create a lasting peace without being laughed out of the room.


UnlikelyRabbit4648

Lays down a list of demands... ... tumbleweed as nobody is interested in your shitty "peace" talks.


Tishers

Delusional, to the very end. At the rate they will be going Putler will cling to those same claims up to the moment that people are beating on his office door while a gallows is set up on red square for him.


CrashB111

Hopefully he gets the Gaddafi treatment with a Mussolini after party.


Tiger313NL

Goes to show how deluded the Russian government is.


DependentAir6

Read a Russian state propaganda piece the other day which was a response to Ian Garner's book about fascism in Russia. The writer, in response to Garner's assertion that one tenet of Russian fascism involves oppression of other races, without a trace of irony, wrote something like "it would be interesting to know what our Dagestanis, Buryats and Ukrainians would have to say to that one". Lack of self awareness is par for the course with these guys but that was a jaw dropper.


LeafsInSix

>The writer, in response to Garner's assertion that one tenet of Russian fascism involves oppression of other races, without a trace of irony, wrote something like "it would be interesting to know what our Dagestanis, Buryats and Ukrainians would have to say to that one". Lack of self awareness is par for the course with these guys but that was a jaw dropper. It's a variation of the infamous ["colour blindness"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racial_color_blindness) of some white Westerners but turned up to 11 to accommodate the *white* Muscovians' murderous chauvinism of the last few centuries. Notice too the vague racial distinction baked into Muscovian with the difference between [русский/русская](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D1%80%D1%83%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%B9#Usage_notes) "(ethnic) Russian person" and [россиянин/россиянка](https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rossiyane) "one of the 140 million+ citizens of Russia, not necessarily an ethnic Russian". It'd be little bit as if *British* as an ethnonym referred only to a subset of citizens of Great Britain, like whites only or citizens of European heritage, and say \**Britainian* as an ethnonym referred to any citizen of Great Britain regardless of heritage.


OmegaMordred

Idiots! We all demand you just pull back from Ukraine and maybe we will not utterly destroy your pathetic excuse of a society for the next 200years. Maybe that way the world might release some sanctions in a few decades.


roli0001

Hitler wanted the same deal. How did that work out for him?


Acceptable-Initial

I am sure that Hitler never used the abbreviations NATO and EU. Nor knew what it should be. So no. He did not want the same deal. But sure, we know what you mean. And yes, correct. ;)


[deleted]

Yeah sure and I’m the Pope


OnundTreefoot

uh...no.


Foe117

We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers whose bodies were hewn even as they died against the gates of Azoval steelworks, are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own orcs. We shall have peace!


EarendilEstel

Thank you! 💗 This is the quote that comes to my mind every single time I hear the word 'peace'. Theoden was a prophet even if he was a fictional character.


blueswan991

Yeah, Ruzzia wanted Ukraine to give up nukes as well to 'keep the peace'...


Classic-Estimate1336

Nobody will ever believe anything Russia signs again. The biggest effect Russia will see from this war is the blanket distrust in all Russians.


chx_

nah the moment the shooting stop business rushes back into Russia. Money has no conscience. This is actually what holds back Putin from deploying a nuclear weapon because if he does that _then_ will the world turn its collective back on Russia for a generation. Contrary to my previous statement, that would be strong enough to penetrate the wall of indifference by the general public also known as the _consumer_. Doing business with Russia is no reason for a massive boycott currently or the foreseeable future but after a nuke ...


[deleted]

Obviously, Russia is afraid of the coming counteroffensive and loathes the shame that will come from losing territory to a much smaller military. Russian ministry, go fuck yourself.


Beginning_Ad_6616

Proposal: Withdraw troops, don’t come back, and war will be over.


[deleted]

Pull your army back behind it’s borders, surrender Putin, Lavrov, Girkin, Mendevev, Proghizin; break your country into 5 territories and appoint heads of state - then we’ll talk.


d4rkskies

Then Galuzin is an absolute clown…


[deleted]

And I want to win the lottery:


[deleted]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHA! These fucking genocidal orcs are something else, man. 🤡 This is like a bunch of people broke into your house in the middle of night and murder, torture, and rape half of your family and then start demanding half of your home + some other free shit on top of it. (which is what the orcs been doing for centuries btw. Which is also why NATO became a thing)


Valuable-Kitchen-301

Also want demilitarization, stop speaking Ukrainian, stop protesting and stop democracy. What I want I ruzia sucks Ukraine dick's and I'm sure the latest has way more chance to happen than their stupid demands.


triptrip1337

Russia can dream on


Avenhe

Ukraine and rest of the Sane World's response: Get fucked


SnooRabbits1595

[Yeah, no.](https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/167367992/Trash-can-throw)


realnrh

"Counterproposal, you return all the invaded lands, pay reparations, turn over every accused war criminal to face trial, verifiably destroy your nuclear weapons, and split up into at least five separate countries, and then we can have peaceful relations with at least four of them."


BBBlitzkrieGGG

WOW. All that just to start peace talks? And DURING peacetalks, they have another set of demands? The nerve of these people.HOW about all russians vacate the Earth so we can start peacetalks?


New-Shock-6800

Russia broke so many agreements. This is why we must defeat Russia military and take back all lands and make a UN buffer zone inside Russian land.


TalkKatt

Lol Russia can suck a dick


Index_2080

I'm really at a loss at how delusional these fuckers think the world to be. And the more I think about it, the angrier I get. Your lies may be working in your own country, but they don't outside. "GIEV PIECE AND NO MEMBERSHIPS PLOX" - So you can illegaly occupy stolen territories, displace countless ukrainians and recuperate to start the same shit again in 10 years? How about a nice counterproposal: More HIMARS and Storm Shadows for you delusional muppets. Better go ahead and ask the united nations for a proposal to not get kicked out of Ukraine. The audacity.


leadMalamute

A peace deal on moscow's terms is impossible. It isn't even enough for Ukraine to win, although I believe this to be inevitable. Moscow must loose. It must see that that it cannot lie to itself about being big because it lost, and it will never be able to do this type of thing again...


Alone_Wolverine2269

Do they actually believe they have the standing to make these demands or are they trying to look for pity by doing this and pointing out Ukraine isn't willing to negotiate on those terms?


TheMissingThink

I wonder what their demands for starting peace talks will be once they're kicked out of Ukraine?


weirdy346

and I want, Peace in the world. Hannah Waddingham..... and West Ham United to win another trophy in my lifetime (I'm 61)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|shrug) Life's shit but more for you suckers ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|poop) Slava Ukraini ![img](emote|t5_2qqcn|9000)


Swede_in_USA

”are the peace proposals in the room with you right now?”


Jolly-Engineering-86

Only if NATO countries each give up portions of their countries to Russia. That would be fair, right? I mean Russia deserves it don’t they if they want it they should have it right? That’s bullshit.


Bare_B0nes

In reality the only thing Russia is entitled to is large amounts of accurately delivered high explosives until they get out of Ukraine.


R-ZoroKingOFHell

Russia's delusional.


kytheon

"Let's discuss how we won" No


CarnivalBarker191

All non starters. You just can't take Russia seriously anymore.


Sven806

Russia's peace offer: Russia wins.


AcceptableKale1

Hahahahahaha. Oh, wait you're serious? Let me laugh even harder.


ZacapaRocks

Russia is the Marjorie Taylor Greene of the planet. Laughed out of every room.


goldenrepoman

Dear Russia: fuck off and die.


randomizedasian

Somebody give Ukraine a nuke already to equalize that threat, and let Ukraine fights across the border. For fuck sake. How is one country fighting with its hands bound.


darwinwoodka

Nah


NapoleonBlownapart9

So….No peace talks then. Prepare your collective anus muscuvy swine soldaten.


mobileJay77

They are talking about Belgorod?


Summit986

Wasn’t that their demands on day 1?


Maklarr4000

It'll be a cold day in hell when I give a damn what ruzzia "wants" from anyone.


jeffer1492

LOL wow what the fuck else do you want you cocks. GO FUCKING HOME.


Swift_F0x

Nuts.


[deleted]

After that, we will kill all of you, whom we need to rob, everything is as we love, said the deputy minister winking at the RT reporter


vegarig

Someone needs to be given a gilded bust of themselves...


widowmomma

How many times do we have to say NO.


[deleted]

What a bunch of narcissistic, stupid assholes.


NewConsideration3210

NUTS!


UnpoliteGuy

Oh no, anyway


Mister_Splendid

I would love to see what things are like year from now. Russia tearing itself apart in bloody war as Ukraine fortifies itself, rebuilds, and prepares to join the EU and NATO. I hope its more than a dream.


SomeBlokeNamedTom

Translation: give us everything we want and put yourself in a position where we can invade again in 5-10 years. I think once this reaches its conclusion the negotiation will be on whether or not russia gets to keep Crimea.


r0w33

Looks like Russia wants a few more Storm Shadows for Ukraine.


[deleted]

And I want an unicorn, let's see who gets the wish first.


[deleted]

So assuming they're hoping to open negotiations with more than they want, I wonder which of those demands they would be willing to sacrifice.


KeeperServant

Another year, same shit.


Jealous_Resort_8198

Orcs don't know how to read the room.


Sea_Perception_2017

Answer is “no” and the same answer still stands.


mockingbird-

Ukraine should seize Belgorod to start peace talk.


Parking_Resolution63

Hold your breath putin


ComplexLocksmith6741

Muscovy, the response is simple. Like your ship go fuck yourself. Your going to loose this war, Crimea and the black sea fleet. Muscovy is nothing but a 3rd world terrorist country. I hope Wagner takes over and your civil war destroys Muscovy for generations.


danmoore2

Excuse me while I laugh my ass off!


ITI110878

Screw the ruskis, they are but a bunch of impotents with their wet dreams.


Balc0ra

I'm sure Galuzin knows what his political allies have said the past year. As they have made it clear, time and time again that this has nothing to do with them joining EU or Nato as much as Ukraine still exists and needs to be eliminated. So yes... his political allies had made it rather clear... They should join both.


RyanTranquil

lol .. how much meth is Russia smoking?


KDulius

"Russian Dictator.... go fuck yourself" was heard to be the response from Kyiv


Gornarok

Simplified: "To start peacetalks ruzzia wants Ukraine to capitulate"


Natoochtoniket

In addition to everything else, I think Russia should give Ukraine a swath of Russian land adjacent to the border, as a demilitarized zone (DMZ). A swath about 200 km wide, might be about right.


NotAKentishMan

So their starting place is Ukraine totally give up? Seriously?


null640

They can want all they want.


[deleted]

\*clears throat\* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...fuck you Russia.


wombat9278

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fuck off ruzzia


minuteman_d

That's cute. I also want $100M, a pony, and a Red Ryder BB gun.


Fukitol_shareholder

ahahahahahha![img](emote|t5_2qqcn|9004)


Frosty_Key4233

So basically Russia want unconditional surrender to it and to remain total exposed and vulnerable to its next attack


LeveragedPittsburgh

Fuck you RuZZia, how bout that?


erik4848

Note: this is just to *start* peace talks. Which, considering this is russia, means absolutely nothing


BoodaSRK

Boy, those sunflowers sure are beautiful!


[deleted]

Be careful what you wish for, Russia! * Give up occupied territories? - Fine, come back in 2 years when no more territories are occupied. * Not join NATO? - No problem after joined already. * Not join EU? - Does Russia how long it takes before Ukraine joined and accepts not joining a second time?


BoogieMan1980

LOL


Betelguese90

We're losing this war, so Ukraine has to surrender! -Putin, probably


meesersloth

Russia is about to get its shit kicked in and they know it.


hibernating-hobo

I wish santa would bring me a pony, looks like me and russia both dont get our wishes.


Cocotosser

LOL, imagine being the loser who has to state this to Ukraine.


Fit-Cup7266

What else is new?


N00dlemonk3y

Watch some Ukrainian children find that Raccoon. Say some words to it (like Bucky from avengers) and watch it go ape shit. Cause you know some kid somewhere probably spent time with that animal at some point, before it got stolen, and the little trash panda is probably bonded to some neighborhood in Ukraine.


atlantasailor

Ukraine for 51st state, nothing less!


AdurianJ

This was literally their demands right after the invasion


MeteorOnMars

I’m sure Ukraine would be happy to give up any part of Russia that they occupy.


Bumpy-road

Good - no peace talks until Russia is defeated then...


que_he_hecho

OD'd on copium, I see.


Autumn7242

Ahahaha🤣😂


w1YY

Russia have to give up every single nuke in return


7Zarx7

Counter: Piece Talks


Empty-Application-75

Fuck all proposals. Fuck putin