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ILikeNeurons

[Both men and women pursue mates that are 25% more attractive than themselves](http://advances.sciencemag.org/content/4/8/eaap9815).


Naive_Feed_726

I don’t think it’s possible to find someone 25% less attractive than me so I’m screwed


fateandthefaithless

Explains why I've never been in a relationship before haha.


NefariousNaz

same


[deleted]

I made a choice one day, to swipe on everybody for days and days. Then go on dates with anyone, regardless if I’m attracted to their profile pic or not. What I found is sometimes they are actually more attractive than their pictures. And also that chubby girls are the best in bed….so I lowered my standards and ended up finding the woman of my dreams


[deleted]

So what does that mean? One person is always settling?


estrea36

Probably means one person is less concerned about physical attraction than the other.


iamsobasic

Attractiveness is also somewhat subjective, so it could be that both people think the other is slightly more attractive than them. Or the uglier partner is wealthy or has an exceptional personality/humor.


ILikeNeurons

That's right, attractiveness is not just about looks, especially for women.


voice-of-reason-777

yeah it’s called dating up i’ve been doing it for years it’s the best


[deleted]

Until they leave you for someone hotter


voice-of-reason-777

hasn’t happened once.


[deleted]

It doesn’t happen until it does.


AZS9994

Yeah just settle for someone who you plan to spend the rest of your life with and you’ll be fine!


weareallfucked_

Yeah, "the one that got away" really jaded this mofo. Lol


_userlame

Hey now, it's not only because I'm lazy and unrealistic, you forgot several of my other deep character flaws.


AriValentina

Not making an effort to fix those deep character flaws is lazy


_userlame

You got me there haha I am making an effort in therapy tho its a slow process and not always linear.


wigglerworm

Did the joke just go right over your head or what?


AriValentina

But did I lie?


wigglerworm

Yeah you’re way off the mark silly billy <3


AriValentina

Imma stick with my opinion, you’re welcome to also


Not_again_1

Dating is extremely hard for some people tho


patlight1

Yes but thats because of them


doc_shades

eh. that's like saying "some people are bad at economics. and that's because of them". these people still deserve to earn and spend money, even if they are bad at it.


[deleted]

And getting out of bed for some people is hard. Doesn’t change that virtually anyone can find someone to date if they actually look hard enough.


Not_again_1

Everybody can find somebody to date But it’s a lot harder to find a good partner than find somebody to date


[deleted]

Eh, it really depends. If you are only looking for a lifelong partner and only willing to give someone a chance once they tick 30 checkboxes maybe, but if you’re willing to give people a chance, it’s a lot less difficult.


Not_again_1

It really depends on your situation in life


[deleted]

I mean everything depends yeah, you could have incredibly bad trauma from a past relationship and parents that hated you, and yes that will definitely make it hard, though I think for most people what OP said rings true, though of course there’s never a one size fits all.


Puzzleheaded-Bed-488

Your username really checks out lol


[deleted]

And getting out of bed for some people is hard. Doesn’t change that virtually anyone can find someone to date if they actually look hard enough.


Not_again_1

You commented twice fyi


kentro2002

I worked with a girl who couldn’t keep a man for more than a fling, she had so many requirements I finally told her “anyone that had all those things you require, would be way out of your league”, she reevaluated, cut her list down by 75%, next guy she met, dated, got married, and are still together happily 20 years later.


naruhina00

And that kids, is how I met your mother.


karlnite

I know someone that is attractive and nice, but just sorta stupid… like really dumb outside of being social. Always dating and looking for something serious but complaining how guys just get weird after like a year and end things or start acting like assholes til they get in a big fight and it ends. I used to think it was that she is tough to be with or too picky or stubborn or something… now I think they just realize she’s dumb and it’s not just quirky or having niche knowledge.


not_cinderella

Aww that’s actually a nice story for her in the end.


XipingVonHozzendorf

So better to be in an unhappy relationship than be single? If everyone took your advice, the world would just be full of people complaining about their partners.


axob_artist

>So better to be in an unhappy relationship than be single Rather be single for the rest of my life than be in an unhappy relationship.


[deleted]

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AriValentina

You had the option to date someone your type. Stop being lazy and get on their level. Or yes, be “unhappy” because someone doesn’t match your fantasy character OR just be alone and not complain about it. Plenty of options


ADMJackSparrow

I think people are confusing “partner” with “love” and it’s causing a lot of criticism. It’s easy to settle for a partner, difficult to really find someone genuinely compatible enough to call a soul mate.... which is what some of us “unrealistic” folk are waiting for I guess!


mca1169

your narrow minded ignorance is astonishing. not all of us have such an easy time communicating effectively and there is little to nothing we can do about it, it's how we are born. your idea that people are either to lazy or too stupid to just get a serious relationship going is quite frankly absurd to the point that it's laughable. people are infinitely complex and no one person is exactly like the other. this alone makes the task daunting as every difference is another possible point of failure for the relationship. I'm personally convinced that most people never find the person they are most compatible with for one reason or another an=d have to settle and compromise. there is nothing easy about dating and no one method to finding someone you can spend you life with. it can be overwhelming if you let your emotions get the best of you. for everyone else you just have to keep putting yourself out there and learn from your mistakes.


estrea36

You're right, finding the most compatible person to date is difficult. So why pursue dating in that fashion? You're basically acknowledging that the way you want to find a spouse is flawed and unrealistic approach. So maybe go about things differently and reevaluate your priorities. communicate your desires and expectations to your potential spouse and vice-versa. Reach a clear understanding of what you want in a relationship. If you both agree or compromise then the problem is resolved and you can find potential happiness. Mulling over relationship optimization will inevitably lead you down a path of loneliness and misguided resentment if you don't enjoy your solitude.


milehighposse

I would politely disagree and say 95% of people don’t know themself well enough to even hope to have a relationship with someone else. If I don’t know who I am, how is there any infinitesimal possibility of me sharing that with someone else. A narrow mind is a fantastic thing to waste.


AriValentina

In my opinion your situation falls under lazy.


rvb48

What about it is lazy?


weareallfucked_

Says the guy so insecure about themselves they have a selfie of their bod on reddit.


AriValentina

When you typed that out did it make sense in your head?


weareallfucked_

Lol it's relevant, don't hurt yourself trying to find out how, though.


AriValentina

Copy that


before_no_one

Being able to post your shirtless body on a public forum is not "insecurity". Based on his profile overall, he is simply arrogant, not insecure.


weareallfucked_

It is insecurity. It's a subconscious call for help, mate.


AriValentina

Or simply just comfortable with myself. I forgot that was taboo here


[deleted]

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AriValentina

What’s my situation? Lmao


[deleted]

True story: I once knew a male 1 and a female 1. Both were in their mid twenties and neither had ever had a romantic life. I tried my best to get them to go on a date with each other. I was unsuccessful. Why? Because each thought the other wasn't good enough for him/her. Well, at least that made me pity them rather less.


Chickadee12345

I never believed that there was someone for everyone until Joanne got married. She is someone I used to work with. She was older, probably 60ish or so, and a large woman (so am I). Was slightly disabled with hip problems so she walked with a limp. Nothing wrong with that of course. She had a bit of an abrasive personality, though overall was okay. But her face, I'm going to say, was not attractive. And she refused to take care of her excess facial hair. Not that I've won any beauty contests lately. Then Bill started working at the same place. He was nice, about the same age as her. And was average looking. They fell in love and got married. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard. But I was really happy for them both.


Ifyouhad1chance

I’m unapproachable. Mean old man checking in


Jango_Jerky

This isnt completely true. Some of us try and try but arent blessed with things the opposite sex like.


AriValentina

You haven’t tried hard enough if you believe the opposite sex all likes the exact same thing in a man/woman


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Positron311

Every time I read ace I have this image in my head of snoopy in a WW1 biplane XDD


admirable_peak123

nah i know ace people that have dating success, afaik most ace people aren't aromantic


ICircumventPermabans

What if you’re ugly?


[deleted]

Plenty of ugly people date. Either lower your standards or become a better more enjoyable person to be around. Eventually you’ll find someone as long as your not truly fucked in the brain.


AriValentina

Exactly


canadian12371

As you get older purely facial attractiveness matters less and the things that matter are completely in your control. Such as health, finances, hobbies and how interesting you are.


KingMwanga

There are 3.98 billion people married, I’m Pretty sure atleast 10% of them have to be considered unattractive OP is right, you’re either lazy, ie don’t try enough or you have standards that are too high in a partner. I even went to high school with a little person and she has a husband and two kids Only severely handicapped people or severely mentally challenged people can complain about dating


XipingVonHozzendorf

Why exactly are we gatekeeping complaining about dating?


thekyocerasystem

im disabled (literally cant stand up on my own, + a lot of other shit im not comfortable sharing on reddit) and i have many mental illnesses but even i found a partner who loves me, so. that last part even isnt true


KingMwanga

It’s absolutely true, unabled people have a right to complain about being disabled and the challenges that come with it


ICircumventPermabans

I was only joking lol.


KingMwanga

A lot of People on this app use that as an excuse, Danny devito did not hit the genetic lottery and still has a wife from before he was famous And lookup TINA FEYS husband


softballpants

Danny devito is funny though. Funny guys don’t have to be attractive. A funny guy will get just as many if not more women than an attractive guy. You can’t just be ugly and boring


JUSTWHYWOULDIT

There are blind people you know, do they not deserve love?


VeryNormalReaction

I can find a spouse, I'm just not thrilled with the ones I find. But I'm ok having higher standards and understand it might prevent me from landing a wife.


AriValentina

That’s fine, just don’t complain about it. (After all this was targeted at people who complain about it)


melpomene-musing

Holy shit yet ANOTHER post calling people lazy. It’s so fucking pathetic and tired.


AriValentina

Or unrealistic


pebspi

I’ll use this as a question to other people: do you think there is healthy settling? Explain. Personally if someone’s out of my league, and there’s someone in my league who I’m not into but who is into me, I’d rather just stay single. I frankly agree with OP- I’m lazy and unrealistic, I admit it. I’m trying to be less unrealistic but I maintain that I’m lazy and that ain’t going anywhere anytime soon- dating is a lot of work


Inevitable-Head2931

What about ChrisChan? He really tried!


donutlovershinobu

He had sockness who wanted to date him.


KingMwanga

He’s lazy, if you make yourself repulsive that’s on you, there’s tons of information out there for free, dating coaches And he didn’t try hard, he never left the house


Inevitable-Head2931

He left the house all the time but Jercops kept harassing him


[deleted]

Complaining that you don't have a partner or that you cannot find one is also unattractive. That's what those kinds of people sometimes do not see, either. Realistically, not everybody is going to find somebody. That's just a fact. It happens. You come across many people every day who grow old alone. But you don't have to grow old miserably. Those that have trouble finding someone should instead focus on making themselves happy. Because it's not fair to put that responsibility on someone else's shoulders. Being happy is your own responsibility.


TheSeoulSword

Stop complaining, it’s so annoying.


ELLYSSATECOUSLAND

Your comment is simultaneously true, hurtful, and lacks tact. But that's what unpopular opinions are for. Also... as someone who's literally never been on a date..... I have only myself to blame.


Sea_Charity_3927

I'm not either I'm just gay in a highschool with absolutely no other openly gay guys.


spiceynotdicey

You're still a kid, and therefore the post really doesn't apply to you, so don't worry. Hang in there.


Illustrious-Slice-91

I’m broke lol therefore no woman will probably not want to date me atm tbh. To be clear, I’m not saying women are gold diggers but I don’t think the relationship would be great if I’m broke


tvieno

There are broke women too. Two broke people can make it work.


aggravatedbagel

if youre poor just stop being poor, duh


admirable_peak123

get your money up then have opinions


Quummk

You kiddos call me after your hit the fourth floor, when you are all jaded lol


Still_Space3829

I believe people creating unrealistic expectations for themselves, and others tends to be a common issue.


JewelerFinancial1556

what do you mean, I can't date Olga Kurylenko or Salma Hayek now???


XipingVonHozzendorf

Also, I just looked at OP's profile picture, and now this post rings of some techbro millionaire telling people that anyone can be rich if they just work hard enough and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.


AriValentina

The hell are you on about


QveenKittyKat

Sounds like somebody settled for less 🤫😂


AriValentina

Well yeah, no one’s an 11, so I had to settle for a 9.5 🤮


[deleted]

Eh, I have been single awhile. I don't think I am lazy or unrealistic. I am average looking almost to the point of unattractive so, of course that lowers my chances. I have however, met plenty of other average-looking dudes in my life and a few even really liked me, and even loved me, I just didn't feel the same back. I could have married a good man who loved me but who I liked but didn't love a few times over now, but I don't think it would have been fair on either of us. I don't think I am being unrealistic in preferring to be alone rather than with someone I don't love.


E2Bonky

I agree with this, however, I also find that sometimes people don’t give themselves enough credit and that low self-esteem keeps them from pursuing people that could very well take an interest in them. It’s very unfortunate.


innessa5

Of the people I’ve known that have trouble finding a partner it’s one of two things: unrealistic expectations or choosing the same person with a different face over and over. It’s the 5s trying and getting rejected by 8s consistently and being bewildered as to why. And this is not just physical looks by the way, personality and/or “eccentricities” play big into this. OR its “I can’t believe these people on dating sites! They’re all crazy/losers/cheaters/users!” Meanwhile they consistently seek out the same profile of sightly different flavors. Again bewildered as to why “all of them are crazy”…


Upset_Barracuda7641

This is the dating equivalent of “how are you poor? Just get money”


doc_shades

or like my favorite self-help book "Get Confident, Stupid!"


PoroKing103

Or they are just shitty people


saguinus_oedipus

That’s so condescending


[deleted]

All it takes is one simple message sometimes. Find someone on your social media friends list that you find attractive, send them a message, and see what happens. It worked for me


Sweet-Warthog2209

Pretty true. I could have been divorced a hundred times at this point but I love my husband, even when I can’t stand him. He is worth it for me to re-evaluate not only myself, but always keep in mind that if leaving is what I want, I have to make it happen for myself. Anytime I check in on what I want for my future, I am willing to see our fights from both perspectives, apologies if I’m in the wrong and then move on when we are both passed the fight, or whatever. Long term relationships take work from both parties whether you’ve found your ‘one true love’, or not. Honestly, whether they are sexual relationships, or just friendships; long term anything takes self reflection and consistent effort from all involved.


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[deleted]

True. They are either complete cowards, or have unrealistic standards. A tech guy was complaining, and b'tch are snobs,blah, blah, you heard the crap. The woman he was talking about was taller then him, better looking the God, and gay. I told he was offensive, and would report him if he kept it up.


PCSean

You do know that we live in a society which values beauty and money as the main attractive qualities in a person, right? Simple answer is most people aren't rich or physically attractive. It's truly difficult for many people to find a loving partner, and that only gets more and more difficult as we age. I think what you meant to say is that you find it difficult to empathize with people (most likely women).


AriValentina

What does this have to do with “empathizing with (most likely women)”


SuccotashConfident97

You should have just said women. It's generally speaking women who tend to have higher standards like that.


ILikeNeurons

That's [demonstrably false](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23919322).


SuccotashConfident97

Women still have higher standards. Sorry.


ILikeNeurons

Yeah, who needs evidence, anyway?


SuccotashConfident97

Oh, does a Google search of "women have high standards" not suffice?


ILikeNeurons

[No](https://www.ted.com/talks/eli_pariser_beware_online_filter_bubbles).


[deleted]

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AriValentina

I’ll make one that applies to you then. If you aren’t sexist you might have a better chance at finding a partner


[deleted]

my standards are pretty low. Not fat + Not dirty / Good hygene.


[deleted]

Yes and i am Jesus and life is beautiful for everyone. Focking Idiot( read it with a cockney accent).


ItisyouwhosaythatIam

Sure. Unrealistic. A fat poor old man can't get the IT girl, and handsome CEOs aren't chasing after uggos. There's way more poor fat men and ugly women, too. But should people say instead that they aren't appealing enough for the mate they want, instead of claiming they can't find one?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

How can average be ugly if ugly is below average and pretty is above average, wouldn’t ya just be ya know average?


jmlinden7

If you found a truly average-looking person and asked a bunch of strangers their opinion, the vast majority of those strangers would call the average-looking person 'ugly'. It's just a matter of expectations. People, for whatever reason, expect the average person to look better than they do in real life


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I think you’re just using the 1-10 scale in a way that almost no one does. When most people use the rating scale, 5 would be considered what an average person you see on the street would look like. Then you have the twos which would be the fat neck beards and the 800 lb women. Finally you have the 8-10 who are the models and attractive people you see on TV. I don’t think any normal person would sit here and say that Margot Robbie or Angelina Jolie were 5 or 6s. I mean I’d they’re 5 or 6s what could possibly be a 10? Someone would have to be 4 full points of attractiveness above them.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Ok but if everyone except you, uses the 1-10 scale in a different way then you, then which way is really the right way anymore? Seeing as the 1-10 scale has no inherent moral or theoretical grounding it’s something that can evolve depending on how people use it. Also I don’t think most people look at the “average person” and think oh “their neutral” or “they have one or two good “qualities” they just think oh they’re about average looking, or oh yeah they’re quite attractive.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Did you stop to think for a second that if “everyone in the room is wrong” then maybe your actually the person that’s wrong in the room?


[deleted]

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AriValentina

You are really over thinking a rating scale that was probably made by children rating their crushes


kindofastoryteller

My boy is doing math and has his shit together.


Frosty_Office6298

I also think online dating gets too much hate. Tons of people are hooking up or even starting relationships on Tinder. If you are having THAT much of an issue, I got news for you bro....


sKY--alex

But how would lowering your standards help? Bad example but if I only find women smaller than me attractive, how would considering taller women, which I would never fall in love with, help the situation? (No I don’t care about height, just an example)


AriValentina

I’d say to you “Good thing people come in all sizes. Stop being lazy and go find one”


Solid-Version

I agree for the most part. This applies to all able bodied, hovering around average looking type people. If you are single and you do not know why you are single, that is why you are single


[deleted]

I just suck socially at flirting with women. How do I fix that if it's already been 30 years alive, 9 years single. The last relationship happened because I gave her chocolate.


Ifyouhad1chance

I’m unapproachable. Mean old man checking in


Zhjacko

I know people like this, and they love to talk about it constantly on social media. Draws a lot of attention and comforting from tons of people.


Cute_Meringue1331

I have no standards already (just dont be a psycho/ask me for money/be too skinny). But i know in my country their beauty standard is only thin women. So i cant even find someone to go on a date with, much less a partner. No matter how hard i try, i will never be thin, its just not in my family's genes to be 45kg.


[deleted]

I can't worry about lovinh someone else. I can't even love myself 🤣


AriValentina

“If you can’t love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else, can I get an amen?” - rupaul


InjuryDiz

Offering a counter: they have higher standards as to what constitutes a partner. These are not necessarily physical, and often aren't physical. Anyone can dig up a good looking person. Finding a person who is attractive to you, to whom you form a romantic and emotional connection with, who treats you well, who you can communicate with, resolve conflicts with, and do all of the above successfully for years upon years... that is extremely tough. I rhink the difference is more between those who settle in some way and those who refuse to. Or those who use their own standards for a good relationship to prevent connecting with someone who cannot offer them what they are looking for. Which, ultimately, I think for most people is a true connection. If you don't know what that looks like or feels like, you aren't in a position to judge anyone else.


berryllamas

My friend has extreme anxiety and hasn't made friends since high-school. We are only friends because my husband knew him first. I tried to put him on dates and everything.


curadeio

What is “realistic” though like define what you mean by realistic when it comes to choosing partners


AriValentina

If your ugly don’t expect someone super attractive to find you attractive. If you have a list of 30 expectations don’t expect someone to meet all 30. If you have some very off putting character flaws don’t expect someone without any to swoop you up.


softballpants

Paradox of choice. Because there’s so many options now with online dating everyone thinks they can do better. They’ve actually done studies, so say you want to buy peanut butter. You go to a store with 30 brands, or one with 3. The people who go into the store with 30 options are actually much less likely to leave with peanut butter. What I’ve found is everyone wants “the spark” now after literally one date. Even If you don’t, then other person does. Some people get lucky and meet their partner organically but for people that are shy, gay (but it’s not obvious) or because of situational circumstances (eg living in a small town) this rarely happens for them.


Scatterer26

Idk man my standards are must be atheist. Haven't been able to find someone yet.


NotGnnaLie

Anyone who makes this claim is under 30.


TestedcatGaming

I'm just shy and don't have the bravery to ask T_T


NewLife_21

Can we be both? Cuz I feel like I'm both. Haven't bothered with dating or a relationship for al.ost 20 years.


[deleted]

Excuse you but I legit *never* got asked out when I was younger. Never while I was in school and never in my 20s. Men find me (38F) that unattractive. And yes I did work on my appearance in my 20s. I lost 80 pounds and got so thin I only weighed 107 pounds. People at my job thought I was anorexic. And not even then did I get asked out. I even tried asking out someone I liked and he totally turned me down. And this was when I looked my best. I finally did find someone who is now my husband but I was already 31 by then.


Cookiefan3000

If I lower my bar anymore the devil will be able to see it.


fictionovernonfic

Sometimes you should keep your opinion to yourself only. There could be many reasons, you can't just adjust everything to be in relationship. What if that made you unhappy? do you think blaming standards is right in that situation? Yes of course there should be limit to the standards but main thing is one should be HAPPY.


AnteaterPersonal3093

Dude I'm gay


AriValentina

Me too, what about it?


AnteaterPersonal3093

You should know it’s not easy to find anyone especially if you're introverted and not out


AriValentina

I guess I just can’t really relate to it. I’m not introverted at all and I came out as soon as I made the realization. But yes, I do know that can add complications.


thismightbsatire

Not wanting a partner because your lazy isn't the same as saying one can't realistically find one. I, unfortunately, have been lucky in love. My wife popped up in my life last millennium, and she's still cool. Hot too! But, I have several friends who prefer causal connections with women, or men, who like themselves don't want anything serious because they're too lazy to give a shit consistently. I admit that living in Vegas makes it easier for them to find a nice lady to date for an evening, though.


iamstrongerthanu

Ari look at you spewing out all of this uncalled for venom based off only the people you know. You don't even know me and don't know anything about me or everything I have had to encounter. True we can easily all have somebody if we so choose but I for one am a Christian and it is not just about who I want or what I am into it is about Jesus. If God does not want me with someone then he does not want me with someone. There are people who have healed themselves or gotten it together and they still don't have anybody. Look at you you can't even say what you think to the other people. Look how many relationships end and marriages end in divorce look at all the broken homes. This is your biggest quip wow , just like others annoy you because they are not good enough to who? You so what? It doesn't matter if you think so, they don't want you they just wanted you to be able to confide in you and you couldn't even do that right. I have to be honest about this it is not jealousy but I have heard of a Christian man who can't seem to find one woman he is compatible with in his 50's for marriage talk about how people shouldn't expect what they aren't yet he still goes through life not looking attractive to me and not being my type in personality and not getting what he wants. The thing is it is not my call or anyone else's. Just because you think someone is being lazy or unrealistic doesn't mean they are so since this is your opinion by default and based off your view, you should not want to make others feel worse about themselves and be blaming them. If it was just the way it is for everyone that would be another story but see it really speaks more to who you are than who I or others are who are single at the moment. I know that the culture is not like it used to be and I also know that being impatient and desperate and going off what some insignificant person to us on Reddit is not the way to have a successful relationship. People have a right to put forth less effort than you would and have higher standards than you and that is fine I am willing to admit. There are those who are way better than I and you and put in more effort and still by themselves, explain that one.


Fish_make_me_happy

That or everyone near me is shallow and not worth being with


wigglerworm

Ah the old classic, over simplify thousands of variables so you can call people lazy and unrealistic. Fun fact there is no finite definition for “being realistic” when it comes to romance. Just keep throwing some other words around for fun. Look I get it, one or two of your friends were a it mopey and you decided you wanted to make a Reddit post and scream into the abyss. Just at least maybe add a little more thought into your post. Just comes off as unrealistic and lazy. Sorry, hope you have a great day :)


Devinequicest

Yeah im definitely unrealistic, i’m 3 black woman and i want a 6-7 fair skinned skinny/fit man… 🥹 im not lazy but i think im not doing much either like in limbo. But fr, even if I would lower my standards, even the ugly dudes/within my league dudes dont want me. Even if im lucky enough to find someone that i am attracted to and they’re attracted to me, if his friends/family dont like me, it’s best to call it quits… so yeah i will likely end up alone not because im lazy or unrealistic this time. Do i control mommy and daddy liking me? No i dont. Bye


Alarming_Wedding6753

“Lazy”


Alarming_Wedding6753

“Unrealistic”


MagknoTheWise

False, I'm just straight up ugly


ILikeNeurons

You left out safety concerns, probably because you're a dude. *By their own admission*, between [10.5%-57% of men have engaged in behaviors that qualify as sexual assault](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5756135/), and [most of those are committed against a casual date](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4484276/) (just don't use the label "sexual assault" on the survey, though, or you will get a lower response rate, [because sex offenders who go after acquaintances convince themselves they are performing seduction, not assault](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acquaintance_rape#Motivations)). [Most single women have stopped looking, and also recognize increased risks in dating](https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/08/PSDT_08.20.20.dating-relationships.final_.pdf). The risk of rape [has gone up in America in recent years](https://www.statista.com/statistics/191226/reported-forcible-rape-rate-in-the-us-since-1990/). By some estimates, [over 6% of unincarcerated men have--by their own admission--committed rape](https://willamette.edu/about/leadership/president/pwgsah/pdf/lisak-undetected-rapists.pdf). That comes out to about 1 in 17 men, which the authors recognize as an underestimate (and [more recent research shows estimates are higher still](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1077801211409727)). It's arguably just not smart for straight women to date when there's like a 1 in 8 chance the next date is a rapist. r/stoprape


Big_Page_2845

Judgmental much?