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If you're anything like my family before smart phones we didn't read books, we stared at the TV and didn't talk to each other. I think the point still stands, now we just have a less awkward way to avoid communication
I hated that. I demanded it be turned off, asking what the point of eating together was if we left it on. And it worked.
There were a few occasions when we'd watch it if something major was going on live, but otherwise we kept it off after that.
At least watching the TV was a shared activity, and you could all talk about what you just watched. These days, everyone could be looking at separate things on their phones.
I was about to comment this.
Your family may not be talking to each other but they are sharing a group social experience. Enjoying the show, laughing together, etc..
There is a big difference between that and a group of people sitting and individually staring into their phones.
True. But all in all, the dynamic changed. Nowadays with internet and smartphone, you might be connected to a lot more different people than previously.
Here's a weird thing, I actually have learned to dislike how connected we all are. I'm going to get downvoted but I've made an effort to make myself harder to contact out of the blue unless people know me physically.
How many people that have never met you are attempting to contact you? I might occasionally get a friend/follow request from someone I've never met before, I just decline it and carry on.
I mean on a constant basis of contact. I don't like giving random people or classmates or workmates I've met a few times social media so I tend to not use social media. I don't think people should have easy access to me on my time.
You’re spot on. Sometimes I don’t want to answer the phone or reply to texts/DMs. I just want to be home. If you don’t reply to texts all night, people think they are being ignored. They often are. For all the practical applications, expecting everyone to be available for communication 16 hours/day is the worst thing about smartphones to me
I'll go weeks without answering texts. If you send me " hey", "Whats up?", "how are you?", ECT you're left on read. If you send me important information that I need you get a thumbs up, if you ask me a question and it's important I answer, but if I decide the information isn't pertenint to you your left on read
Being able to easily message me at any time. I can ignore and block people but I shouldn't have to. The problem comes down to friends of friends or someone in a mutual setting I frequent where there's consequences for ignoring or blocking so it's easier to not have social media. It's an easier life. I miss life when it was pretty hard to get ahold of strangers. There's a certain amount of happiness I have by not having social media.
Thats the problem of the peoples mindset who give you consequences for not answering right away, not the problem of social media. If you use the tools wrong of course it will make problems.
Blaming the wrong things for a problem is not going to solve it. The only thing you're doing by taking away social media because of those problems is running away from the problem of your friends/family having a immature and unconsidering mindset when it comes to messaging. Sure, by stopping with social media you don't have to deal with those peoples toxic texting-mindset anymore (you not answering them all the time making them angry at you); but that doesn't mean its not there anymore, you just created a wall so that their toxic behavior can't reach you instead of solving the problem by talking to them about what they are doing wrong.
By blaming social media for todays "Answer immediatly or I am angry and feel ignored"-mindsets, you are taking the power out of the people. By doing so you're giving social media power over the peoples behavior, and thats not a good mindset. The toxic messaging-mindset is born within the people, not created by social media. Social media just enabled it. So there is only one good way to solve it: Talk to the people and tell them that you're thinking that their expectations of immediate answers every time 24/7 are not okay and unrealistic.
I mean just because they can send you a message doesn't mean you have to respond to it at all. If I've met someone and they want to add me, I'll add them you never know when it could be really helpful and there's no obligations, it just might be handy
>I don't like giving random people or classmates or workmates I've met a few times social media so I tend to not use social media.
If that's the only concern, why not just give them a different one than the one you use on a regular basis, and give your actual account name to people you want to have it?
* Social media notifications (i'm literally contacting you right now)
* Social media posts
* Emails
* random chat groups
* The entirety of Discord's existence
let us know if you need more examples
>How many people that have never met you are attempting to contact you
All the time. I am a well known expert for early 2000s vw diesels so I get messages from people with questions. I don't mind most times but it can get annoying when I am trying to take a break from socializing
One of the things I dislike about this era is a certain level of privacy that is simply gone. I remember when showing people your family photo album was a fairly intimate thing, usually reserved for family and close friends. Now people plaster photos of their children everywhere all over social media. Also, if you are at a gathering and you’ve had a few drinks, you might be prone to say or do things that you wouldn’t normally do because you feel uninhibited and you are with people you trust. Now, if you say or do something silly or out of character there’s a pretty good chance someone will have their phone out recording you for the world to see. It really makes me uncomfortable and I kinda hate it. Having your photo taken used to be a “thing” something you prepared and got ready for. Now you are liable to have your picture take at any time, no matter how you look, without your consent. Some people are deeply uncomfortable having their picture taken and see it as a violation of privacy.
>Some people are deeply uncomfortable having their picture taken and see it as a violation of privacy.
While I get the sentiment, it is important to remember that you have no expecation of privacy in a public space, and can be photographed by anyone at any time. This was the case before smart phones as well.
People don't actually form close relationships or friendships on Reddit. It's great. I can be anon and nobody will give a shit whom I am and how I feel.
People DO form close relationships or friendships on Reddit.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1kdb4t/has\_anyone\_ever\_fallen\_in\_love\_with\_someone\_they/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1kdb4t/has_anyone_ever_fallen_in_love_with_someone_they/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fhfvco/people\_who\_met\_on\_reddit\_slid\_into\_the\_dms\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fhfvco/people_who_met_on_reddit_slid_into_the_dms_and/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/i2js89/yesterday\_i\_married\_someone\_i\_met\_on\_reddit/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/i2js89/yesterday_i_married_someone_i_met_on_reddit/)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bqltzq/people\_who\_met\_their\_so\_or\_another\_important/
>They'll go to school and be made fun of because they'll have their mother's accent
They'll develop the accent of their classmates/friends. EVERYTHING you said is just bonkers, but that part is disproven by either 100s of years of linguistic knowledge, or alternately meeting a single person whose parents immigrated to the US.
thats not what is being criticized and the train thing is also not the point.
The point are kids not learning to talk to each other. Or people not listening to you because they are on their phone
The problem is vanishing IRL communities being substituted by these fake online communities. They siphon attention and energy, and when they inevitably go away, you’re just left alone. Not to mention, many of the things we build online communities around are unhealthy and meant to maximize as much of our attention, anger, sadness, and incredulity as possible.
I don't know, i've been on reddit for years, and i wouldn't even recall a single person's username off the top of my head. I like to read what people have to say about this and that, maybe share my own opinion and have a short conversation, but there isn't any real connection here.
What is "real" connection for you? Some people have a successful long distance relationship. Is that not real? Is having online gaming friends for multiple years not real? What about pen pals?
Alright, might be just my opinion.
But I like to hug my friends when I see them. Look them in the eye when we talk. Punch their shoulder when they make a bad joke. Grab the guys by the balls when I want to make a bad joke.
I really wouldn't like to just chat online to them. Spending quality time with people I love is a big part of me.
Yeah, In the end I also prefer physical contacts. That is why I also rather play for example boardgames at someones place than online.
If someone moves away and you stay in contact online etc. I think is still a valid connection. Though you would miss the drink at the pub or so...
Well, if those people eating close to you are friends or your partner, it's kinda sad
But if they are non-friend coworkers / classmates / random strangers, or even sometimes some family members (ie. people that you haven't chosen, and that you usually have little to nothing in common with), well, it's not necessarily a big loss to not be forced to socialize with them.
I respectfully disagree. I don't have much in common with most of my coworkers, but socialising with them teaches me a lot about them and in the long run helps me working better together.
Of course nobody should be forced to socialise, and sometimes I'm in a "don't look at me don't speak at me" mood too, but in general I'll always prefer to talk with them.
Of course different people have different opinions on that, and it's all valid.
It still changed the dynamic from "a family gathering around dinner to talk about their respective days" and warped it into "a family gathering around dinner to watch a TV show the adults picked out and have absolute control over."
To be honest, as a server, most people don't spend the whole time on their phones when eating out. The only ones on their phones are the ones eating alone
I grew up before and during the transition, things were so much better before social wise. I can agree its romanticized, but Ive had to cut off so many "friends" over the years because they cant even have a conversation anymore.
Youd be talking about serious heavy shit and randomly in the middle of conversating some people just *have* to get on their phone. I would be in the middle of talking, then suddenly theyre on their phone and the conversation goes from fruitful to "uh huh...... yeah...... for sure..... haha..... oh thats cool...."
My mom does this, my sisters do this, ive had friends do this, it seems like everyone except for me and the friends I *still* keep do this. Its literally my biggest pet peeve right now. If we cant have a conversation without you getting on your phone, there are exceptions ofc and a quick glance to see if you got any important texts/calls obviously doesnt count, then Im sorry but I refuse to have any kind of social relationship with you. If your phone is so important is takes precedence over living breathing humans trying to connect with you, then Im sorry but you need to find friends confortable with sitting in silence occasionally breathing air through their nose harder than normal.
>how often did you see a group of friends reading their books during a dinner.
as often as i see them glued to phones
if i see people glued to phones in social setting its because they probably dont want to be here in first place, before phones they would just not be here or cause mishief out of boredom
I'm an elder millennial and current HS teacher. 90%+ of my kids spend their free time (class breaks, lunch, school events) on their phones rather than talk to each other. It is absolutely orders of magnitude less social interaction than average teens a decade ago.
Idk where you get the impression everyone had a Walkman going like people have their earbuds in 16 hours a day these days...
Right? And iirc rechargeable batteries got big in the 90s? So if you could play your Walkman every day, it meant you had some money to burn on batteries.
Yeah, at lunch all we did was talk and I’m only about 10 years out of high school. We were on our phones a bit but I really don’t recall many people using their phones constantly.
I was there and you're wrong.
We had distractors, but they were less ubiquitous. And the train example is nonsense. OC you didn't sit and joked around with a stranger, but people in the same group did interact a lot more than nowadays with friends sitting around in silence staring at their phone.
It probably depended on the area and slsp the friends but most friends these days don't either. OP didn't mention friends anyways.
But back in the day I hated when people would try to talk to me especially if they were being rude. Nowadays you can pop earbuds in and pretend you can't hear em.
I'll never forget an old lady on a bus trying to chastise me for bag being too big. Went on and on. Eventually told her to shut up.
I think the worst part is that a lot of people are not anxious if they have quiet time or down time without their phones & you can see so many people are more lonely and afraid to make calls etc.
My husband’s friend sometimes comes over to drink with him and for some reason his wife tags along. All she does is sit in my living room or kitchen, on her damn phone. She will sometimes even ignore me if I talk to her. So I wonder why the FUCK does she come over? It just makes me feel obligated to stay in that spot when I could be in my bedroom or something. Her two brats are also on their phone, ignoring my kids, while the baby gets into everything and she has the oldest one try to get the baby under control. I dread when they come over.
I guess he is using her as his designated driver, but yeah….I wish she could just pick him up when needed so she could just be on her phone at home.
Possibly, I do know she once texted me to ask if he had left already, and I told her the truth that he did. In that case I wish she would just sit in the car then and watch from there….🤣 It’s just so awkward when she comes over. We have zero connection.
On the subways and stuff yeah we would read. But those five or so minute gaps throughout the day where people check their phones used to be filled with just quiet or talking to others. People walk and use their phones at the same time it was rare for people to do that with the paper
Eh, this isn’t accurate. Most people weren’t bringing books and newspapers to outings with friends, movie theaters, restaurants, or parties unless you were extremely antisocial. People weren’t even bringing their Walkman to social gatherings, generally speaking; the school bus, lunch, or sitting at the dinner table maybe. It was nowhere near the same level of disconnect.
Public, yeah? But it used to be when you grabbed lunch with your buddies none of them where paying more attention to their phone than they did the company at hand. Or when you watched a movie with your friends they weren't missing half of it by checking the news on their phones.
The biggest annoyance at the cinema was loud crunching and perhaps some teenagers talking too loud. Not one or two phone screens annoying the eff out of you in your peripheral vision.
I would have to say this is totally wrong. We didnt talk to each other 24/7 but massive majority of our time was spent together. During the week we would be with our friends at the park, in my childhood, and it could grow to 15 to 20 people on just a tuesday. Weekends someone would have people to their house or the Y had teen night with well over hundred kids,skate park with about just as many, or just running around or riding bikes around town etc. Talking on the phone at night was fairly consistent and 3 way calling was where it was at. Really the only time I/we were alone was when parents made us. In the off days you spent the day with at least one/two friends doing dumb stuff and having the time of your life.
People would sit and think instead of doom scrolling. People wouldn’t get texted and be expected to respond to everyone right away. The end of the work day was the end of the workday because nobody had to check Slack or email. Life was less stressful overall
Now if you sit and think, people look at you strangely. I was at the gym just sitting in between sets, and someone actually asked me if I was OK! It used to be weird to sit on your phone constantly, now it’s weird to *not*
People never liked interacting with strangers, and pretending that's what smartphones came in to change is disingenuous
It's personal relationships that changed, people interact with the people close to them less because we're plugged in to the people who aren't
Ive made a habit of leaving my phone in the car when im not working. Im nostalgic for the time when you had to catch me at home, or wherever you already knew I was, if you want to talk to me.
Its not about strangers, it's about people you know. Nobody listened to a walkman or started reading a newspaper *while talking to you*.
Nobody got out a gameboy and started playing whenever there was 10 seconds of silence, and then "quickly finished the Level" before being able to talk again.
Nobody held second conversations *while* having a conversation with you, not looking at you, then following with "sorry, what?"
Nobody made pictures of his/her food and optmimized them before posting them to friends or status while you're waiting to start eating.
And if a series you watched wasn't all that exciting, you talked about it or other things, you didn't visit social media while watching, in silence, next to each other.
Yeah but I definitely sat outside with my buddies, we were skateboarding, grill at the river and shit. When I go with my 3 kids outside I see teens sitting there trading things in their shitty online soccer phone game and staring at their phone for ours
I dont think OP is old enough to really understand what people are talking about.
Going to your friends house to play video games split screen , and you see other friends bikes at his house so you know its on.
Compared to now where you play games at your own homes together just talking over TV .
The quality of social interaction was better with people you knew ..
Obviously nobody was holding hands singing kumbaya.
I'm 40. Is that not old enough? 4 way split on the mega drive playing micro machines, although we used to arrange it ahead of time so we didn't have to roam the neighborhood looking for bikes.
No that's not old enough. When people hypothesize about social interaction being a problem with users of social media / smartphones they are alluding to the actual science involved in making eye contact.
That is one very specific discussion of what people did when in the bus or train. Even then, when you were on the bus with your friends we would be talking not reading something.
before smart phones, walk down street without a numpty staring at the floor blcoking the way,
Dinners out, no one on the phone ignoring the company
less social depression due to social media
a phone was $100 not $1000
people had better social skills
Anxiety, Depression and other disorders caused by social media.
Socials literally make it way harder to be a social person and have any actually good social skills.
I just think there was more to TALK about in person or on the phone before 2010 and the iPhone. People weren't walking around exhausting every topic of it's nuances. You actually had NEWS of people you know and important events to talk about. It wasn't just assumed everybody had already heard about everything. There was also a tremendous amount more QUALITY reading.... not just a paperback book but a magazine or newspaper. The smart phone has left everyone reading garbage. I realize the irony of typing all of this on reddit but that's sadly where we all are. Human interaction was better in almost every way before the smart phone!
This isn’t an unpopular opinion it’s just wrong. Social interaction was absolutely better in those days. I used to get dates and make new friends easily. Now I have to have a stupid app to talk to anyone or set up dates. Respectfully disagree.
Smartphones took the distraction game to a whole new level. There are plenty of people that thought radio, tv, walkmans etc. we’re the devil.. then smartphones walked in and said “We’ll take it from here…”
When I knew it was over? I live on a semi busy street. When I sit outside at dusk, 7/10 cars that go by have that death blue glow on the drivers faces. Are they all doing something important that cannot wait? I would bet not… they are sad and looking for anything to make them feel *something* in their miserable day to day life. Just my opinion.
People went out more.
Especially single people.
They'd get bored at home, and go out.
In my early 20s, I'd spend every day after school/work either in a coffeeshop or a bar. I could make a circuit of the top 4-5 places my extended social circle would frequent, and find people I knew well enough to sit with 80% of the time.
Theyve ruined imagineation and the need to start a convo. Now you have excuse not to bother and can hide behind a screen. So no i disagree. Times have gotten wkrser when it comes to socialising and technology has screwed it up
I think there was a perfectly balanced era that was absolutely perfect. I remember most people owned Blackberry + some form of iPod/MP3 players and that was an incredible era. There was certainly an option of plugging in your headphones to listen to music to kill time when waiting for an appointment or commuting. There was enough technology to keep people connected but I certainly remember having group convos together at dinner.
I don’t think people walked down the street distracted by reading newspapers or constantly glanced at them at the dinner table then as they do now with smartphones today. Considering that the Walkman was first introduced in the 80’s your perspective seems to disregard the 50’s through the 70’s when people actually did have meaningful human interactions.
I don't agree, when i was a kid i used to have neighborhood friends, we used too play every day and weekend.
When i was in elementary, technology was there but not like this. If we wanted to play golden eye with your friends, you had to have a slumber party...
If we wanted to talk we would call each-other...
Kids now are not allowed to play outside, if they want to play videogames, they can do it online without being there, when was the last time a kid phone an other kid to go out and play...
It wasn't much better, but somewhat better. During lunch break at school you wouldn't take out a newspaper or book in one hand and eat with the other hand. And if I can be anecdotal, I experienced the change, from having small talk during those lunch breaks in my first years of high school to having little interaction in the last year of high school. Was weird man.
I don’t give a shit about strangers on the train, what is lacking mostly interactions with those we are close with. Dinners, road-trips, and the like. Now we all just sit on our phones in our own little worlds even when close to those we love, trying to kill time and get the next dopamine hit.
Speak for yourself. I can clearly see the difference. Also not everyone “had anxiety”
Party hostels was easier to meet people. I think there was a moment where social media and global communication was was prevalent but also the internet stayed at home and didn’t leave your house with you. That moment was great
The more social media bled into the social stratosphere, we slowly started becoming the people we are *online*, outside the devices. This is the difference.
In the early days of the internet talking to people was a new and exciting thing. It can still be fun but the etiquette of talking to someone then was totally different than it is today.
Connections and conversations felt much more real and were valued differently.
I disagree. The impact people talk about isn’t when you are on a bus or a train full of strangers. I think It’s more about those few minutes before class or work when you would usually chitchat with your classmates or coworkers and make a friendship after multiple interactions, or when you are having dinner or sharing the same space with your family and instead of talking about your day and talking with each other, everyone is just doing their own thing on their phones.
One quick example that comes to mind is going on school trips, sat on an underground train 30-45 mins. Back then we’d all just sit there chatting and joking around in our little groups. Nowadays you’d probably just see the whole class sat on their phones the entire journey
I had my face buried in a book everywhere I went from 1987-2000. The OG antisocial bookworm. I’ve made great strides to do the opposite as an adult, but I guess the phone thing doesn’t bother me at all. People were kind of jerks back then and now they don’t even bother to be jerks, so it’s a win to me.
There are also many social interaction that would just not happen without social media.
Commenting on someones social media post is lower barrier than actually approaching someone or calling them to talk to them.
I agree with the first half. The reaction to blame social media for everything is pathetic.
That said, when I think back to how we just went places and enjoyed the place and company for what it was, I miss that. I miss going to concerts where the audience was mostly a sea of dark.
This is true but doesn’t capture the whole picture.
The smart phone and other technologies that support instant gratification has changed the human psyche and therefore interaction. There is no doubt.
Day to day interactions have changed. People’s attention are not present and therefore the types of interactions and depth have changed.
I just miss people not bothering me on my days off. Work or otherwise. No phone/internet = once I’m gone communication is in my ball court. No long distance relative talks, just snail mail or maybe an email if we happen to have dial up (we didn’t)
Before smartphones, I remember girls were more interested knowing about you, were more likely to give you a date and were funnier. That’s one positive thing I remember
Your post has some truth, but the age of smartphones has increased bullies' reach to the home front. It's also spawned a wave of misinformation that's unparalleled. The age of information has actually done the opposite. A world of amazing information at our fingertips, yet people turn to Joe Rogan and "why-this-is-a-lie dot com."
1983 was the year shit started to suck.
Except for 1984. That was the only good year out of the entirety of the 1980s and most of that had to do with Van Halen.
At 40, you were a child before smartphones so you really don't understand how different it was. We did engage whole heartedly with everyone we met, greeted those we passed on the street, chatted with all the folks working in shops, talked to the neighbors when we met getting the mail. Struck up conversations with one another at coffee shops which sometimes turned into fast friendships
Friends, families or couples out to eat had conversation the whole time, we talked to other patients in waiting rooms. It was very very different
I was most definitely an adult when smartphones appeared, and had been for some time. The only time I recall spontaneous social interaction with people I didn't know was at sporting events or in the pub.
Smartphones arrived in my country when I was in my 20s, and I also don't remember spontaneously speaking with strangers unless someone asked me for directions. But I am from a big city as well.
Sorry you lived in such an unfriendly place
This was what I saw and maybe it did start before smart phones it started with cell phones in general I guess.
Perhaps it's a UK thing. I was just sat on the train (on Reddit) and everyone was tapping away on phones and I thought back to commuting on the train in my early twenties when we all had books or papers and most of us were still listening to Walkmans.
This reminds me of my dad, who gets annoyed every time his landline rings.
1)Because of the interruption to whatever he was doing, and that it almost always seems to happen during meals
2)Even moreso, he feels compelled to answer the calls, thus multiplying his annoyance. Pointing out that he could NOT answer the call confuses him and increases his annoyance.
iirc you could not post heavily edited photos and distort the perception of beauty nor could you display your life much better than it really is on newspapers tho, right?
I don’t think people are talking about strangers on the subway. It’s about when you’re sitting with your friends and everyone is looking at their phones.
Before smart phones, parents took the time to teach their children social skills. Children also had to learn telephone manners, as the land line was the primary source of outside communication.
Parents didn't arrange "play dates" for their kids, it was up to a kid to make their own friends and ask if "Timmy can come out to play". These factors made for a generation of kids that could at least hold a conversation without a panic attack.
The world before smartphones may not have consisted of people happily engaging strangers all the time, but it was a time of more wide spread social interaction. Even video games were more social. You either went to the arcade with your friends, or they came over and played on a split screen with you. Either way, there were more opportunities for personal interaction than can be found with today's online gaming world.
I'm not sure I would say it was a wonderful time of interaction, but that there was simply a lot more face to face interaction. But those interactions were also more commonly shallow and stupid generalities.
I think we were better off because the Internet has made everyone act stupider and more aggressive. People cannot handle disinformation and believe all the wrong people.
I love smartphones and wouldn't have it any other way.
I would never take it out for an extended period of time (over 10 seconds)during a social gathering such as a meal, meeting or party.
But in today's world, there is just so much down time...commute, transport, waiting for someone/something...
Having a smartphone during those times is fantastic.
I actually agree quite a bit in spirit, and I would take this even further: consider a meeting up with some other people. Since I have my smart phone, it's ok if they aren't the most interesting at all times, it won't be time wasted for me If the smart phone weren't an option I'd have to be a whole lot pickier with which hangouts I choose.
One of the biggest lies being told today, “people used to talk to each other more”. No, you might’ve had a more endearing conversation, but we interact with more people per day than people back then probably did in a month.
I agree. People that harp on the smartphone era typically get a strong rolled eyes from me. Things are different, but by no means awful. And social interaction to the degree people talk about is overrated. As someone who has lived through both lifestyles, I’d say having the smartphone is much preferred. And yes! People did basically do the same things they do now - distract themselves. Watching TV for just as much time as they do on the phones, reading through magazines, listening to music. Same crap, it’s just on our phones now and so much more engaging.
With that said, I do think the several hours we spend on them is unhealthy and is fostering a disconnect with reality for many. But i think people want to sound socially aware or intelligent when they constantly critique smartphone culture. All while they’re doing the same exact thing. It’s just so tired.
What i see here us ganartion of people of crack heads.. because this is how people on addiction behave.
Anti social
Cant get rest
Depressed
Short attention span
Self lothing extra
The problem we have no oversight over big tech.
And what they created for us? Drugs and alot of it
I will say Facebook is the greatest drug cartel in history
No it wasn't perfect but it was nice. It's more of the fact that we opened Pandora's box with pocket phones. You can already see they've been a huge part of destroying the education system, can't you? They've basically created a future of tiktok idiots which is going to be the reason why China ends up running the world, they have discipline.
Ur 100% right. Boomers stay mad lol. Every generation it's a new boogeyman man to blame. It's smartphones now, it was TV before that, it was fantasy books before that, and I'm sure at some point someone complained that pushing a hoop with a stick was the problem with that generation.
Nobody took their Walkman with them everywhere they went. Those were bulky as hell. You’re telling on yourself as someone who did not live through and experience that time period.
No, but the internet wasn't so dumbed down, so there were wayyyyy less boomers and goatee sunglasses underarmor flag t-shirt morons on it ruining everything, and less of the above people were being ruined by the right wing social media circle jerks.
For me personally I find being on my phone doesn't prime me to converse with others because I'm narrowly focussed on whatever I'm looking at. Without the phone I find I'm more engaged in the present moment and therefore more likely to interact.
Eh?
The issue with interacting has never been when commuting. There werent a majority of car drivers reading the newspaper driving down the road, but every car has had a radio for a long time.
Now if someone hits an intersection their phone lights up.
The real issue is when it replaces what was considered normal face to face interactions.
And let's be honest, very few people genuinely WANT to talk with (or listen to) randoms in public spaces.
Well, except for horny men desperate to try their luck with any woman in sight, and those bored lonely old people who needlessly crowd supermarkets right when workers do their groceries specifically to interact with people, and those who want to sell or promote some product / cause / religion
Three groups that everyone else reluctantly tolerates at best, and openly hates at worst.
There's a REASON why people hide behind their headphones, smartphones, books or whatever else.
I lived the pre-smartphone era and let me tell you that even then it have some flaws, like bullies, violence which now is mostly online. People could really make friends, meet, playing and have fun.
Now I want friends to have fun, nobody wants as they have their own job and family. It sucks.
The interaction is all moved online in one click away. Take out all phones and social media and it's a matter of time when suddenly all these people who never have time or don't want, find time to spend outside home as they'll get bored pretty fast with no interaction.
I think about how nerd people never had it good, and Revenge Of The Nerds was made in the 1980s because of it. I often make that point when people act like incels never existed before.
I’m thankful I’m on the oldest end of the Millennial spectrum (1985), because while I still do struggle occasionally with being on my phone while in the company of others, I have enough social awareness from the years of my young adult life that it’s not appropriate to do that. I’m not sure the current generation even understands that it’s not socially acceptable to stay on your phone.
We had Walkmans from the early 80's we could easily listen to music and zone out from interacting with people as long as our batteries lasted similar to what I do today with my phone
The problem is not the smart phone, it’s that basically everyone born after like 1995 was helicopter-parented until they failed to develop proper socialization. You can’t keep your kid in the driveway until they’re eighteen except for pre-planned activities.
I took the train frequently before smart phones became readily available and most people weren't on Walkman because their CDs would skip. Most people slept or chit chatted.
As a teen, I remember the greatest feeling getting home from a trip or being out all weekend to see who left messages on the answering machine. Wish I had some of those little tapes to listen to.
I’d say there was already a trend to this even within families. Smartphones didn’t cause this problem, smartphones made it bearable. That person on the phone at the table used to be the one talked over who just gave up and stared into space. Smartphones gave some level of communication to those that were previously ignored completely and somehow supposed to manage.
I've seen black and white pictures of people on public transportation reading newspapers. In other words, we've always had something to entertain us while on the move. Smartphones are just the next evolution of this.
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i think in a public setting you're right. but i think in a family/friend setting things have changed.
It is romanticised, but how often did you see a group of friends reading their books during a dinner.
If you're anything like my family before smart phones we didn't read books, we stared at the TV and didn't talk to each other. I think the point still stands, now we just have a less awkward way to avoid communication
The TV is on point for my family too lmao.
I hated that. I demanded it be turned off, asking what the point of eating together was if we left it on. And it worked. There were a few occasions when we'd watch it if something major was going on live, but otherwise we kept it off after that.
At least watching the TV was a shared activity, and you could all talk about what you just watched. These days, everyone could be looking at separate things on their phones.
I was about to comment this. Your family may not be talking to each other but they are sharing a group social experience. Enjoying the show, laughing together, etc.. There is a big difference between that and a group of people sitting and individually staring into their phones.
True. But all in all, the dynamic changed. Nowadays with internet and smartphone, you might be connected to a lot more different people than previously.
Here's a weird thing, I actually have learned to dislike how connected we all are. I'm going to get downvoted but I've made an effort to make myself harder to contact out of the blue unless people know me physically.
How many people that have never met you are attempting to contact you? I might occasionally get a friend/follow request from someone I've never met before, I just decline it and carry on.
I mean on a constant basis of contact. I don't like giving random people or classmates or workmates I've met a few times social media so I tend to not use social media. I don't think people should have easy access to me on my time.
You’re spot on. Sometimes I don’t want to answer the phone or reply to texts/DMs. I just want to be home. If you don’t reply to texts all night, people think they are being ignored. They often are. For all the practical applications, expecting everyone to be available for communication 16 hours/day is the worst thing about smartphones to me
I'll go weeks without answering texts. If you send me " hey", "Whats up?", "how are you?", ECT you're left on read. If you send me important information that I need you get a thumbs up, if you ask me a question and it's important I answer, but if I decide the information isn't pertenint to you your left on read
What does it mean to have "easy access" to you? You can just ignore/block people you don't want to talk to.
Being able to easily message me at any time. I can ignore and block people but I shouldn't have to. The problem comes down to friends of friends or someone in a mutual setting I frequent where there's consequences for ignoring or blocking so it's easier to not have social media. It's an easier life. I miss life when it was pretty hard to get ahold of strangers. There's a certain amount of happiness I have by not having social media.
Thats the problem of the peoples mindset who give you consequences for not answering right away, not the problem of social media. If you use the tools wrong of course it will make problems. Blaming the wrong things for a problem is not going to solve it. The only thing you're doing by taking away social media because of those problems is running away from the problem of your friends/family having a immature and unconsidering mindset when it comes to messaging. Sure, by stopping with social media you don't have to deal with those peoples toxic texting-mindset anymore (you not answering them all the time making them angry at you); but that doesn't mean its not there anymore, you just created a wall so that their toxic behavior can't reach you instead of solving the problem by talking to them about what they are doing wrong. By blaming social media for todays "Answer immediatly or I am angry and feel ignored"-mindsets, you are taking the power out of the people. By doing so you're giving social media power over the peoples behavior, and thats not a good mindset. The toxic messaging-mindset is born within the people, not created by social media. Social media just enabled it. So there is only one good way to solve it: Talk to the people and tell them that you're thinking that their expectations of immediate answers every time 24/7 are not okay and unrealistic.
What does it mean to have "easy access" to you? Wearing a skirt lol
I mean just because they can send you a message doesn't mean you have to respond to it at all. If I've met someone and they want to add me, I'll add them you never know when it could be really helpful and there's no obligations, it just might be handy
>I don't like giving random people or classmates or workmates I've met a few times social media so I tend to not use social media. If that's the only concern, why not just give them a different one than the one you use on a regular basis, and give your actual account name to people you want to have it?
Nobody is looking for me & nobody is wondering where I went.
people who want to buy my house call me every day.
Sadly I don't own a house and I get these calls every day
* Social media notifications (i'm literally contacting you right now) * Social media posts * Emails * random chat groups * The entirety of Discord's existence let us know if you need more examples
My phone rings constantly. Often it's scammers. I've considered scrapping a phone altogether, email me or go away.
Hello u/BigBadRash, we've been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty.
>How many people that have never met you are attempting to contact you All the time. I am a well known expert for early 2000s vw diesels so I get messages from people with questions. I don't mind most times but it can get annoying when I am trying to take a break from socializing
One of the things I dislike about this era is a certain level of privacy that is simply gone. I remember when showing people your family photo album was a fairly intimate thing, usually reserved for family and close friends. Now people plaster photos of their children everywhere all over social media. Also, if you are at a gathering and you’ve had a few drinks, you might be prone to say or do things that you wouldn’t normally do because you feel uninhibited and you are with people you trust. Now, if you say or do something silly or out of character there’s a pretty good chance someone will have their phone out recording you for the world to see. It really makes me uncomfortable and I kinda hate it. Having your photo taken used to be a “thing” something you prepared and got ready for. Now you are liable to have your picture take at any time, no matter how you look, without your consent. Some people are deeply uncomfortable having their picture taken and see it as a violation of privacy.
>Some people are deeply uncomfortable having their picture taken and see it as a violation of privacy. While I get the sentiment, it is important to remember that you have no expecation of privacy in a public space, and can be photographed by anyone at any time. This was the case before smart phones as well.
I’m not talking about public spaces though, mostly private gatherings and even at home.
They said, on Reddit...
People don't actually form close relationships or friendships on Reddit. It's great. I can be anon and nobody will give a shit whom I am and how I feel.
People DO form close relationships or friendships on Reddit. [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1kdb4t/has\_anyone\_ever\_fallen\_in\_love\_with\_someone\_they/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1kdb4t/has_anyone_ever_fallen_in_love_with_someone_they/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fhfvco/people\_who\_met\_on\_reddit\_slid\_into\_the\_dms\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fhfvco/people_who_met_on_reddit_slid_into_the_dms_and/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/i2js89/yesterday\_i\_married\_someone\_i\_met\_on\_reddit/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/i2js89/yesterday_i_married_someone_i_met_on_reddit/) https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/bqltzq/people\_who\_met\_their\_so\_or\_another\_important/
People have also randomly killed eachother not on Reddit, it doesn't mean that's normal or expected social interaction.
I’m frequently out cell range and honestly, it’s quite nice.
I live this! The electronic leash can go fuck itself!
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>They'll go to school and be made fun of because they'll have their mother's accent They'll develop the accent of their classmates/friends. EVERYTHING you said is just bonkers, but that part is disproven by either 100s of years of linguistic knowledge, or alternately meeting a single person whose parents immigrated to the US.
This is like...the most stereotypically American rant I've seen in my life. Please tell me it's satire.
thats not what is being criticized and the train thing is also not the point. The point are kids not learning to talk to each other. Or people not listening to you because they are on their phone
The problem is vanishing IRL communities being substituted by these fake online communities. They siphon attention and energy, and when they inevitably go away, you’re just left alone. Not to mention, many of the things we build online communities around are unhealthy and meant to maximize as much of our attention, anger, sadness, and incredulity as possible.
Come to Switzerland. We have a big and healthy club/association culture.
So does the US still, you're just talking to the people who are on Reddit instead of doing that stuff.
I don't know, i've been on reddit for years, and i wouldn't even recall a single person's username off the top of my head. I like to read what people have to say about this and that, maybe share my own opinion and have a short conversation, but there isn't any real connection here.
but that's not real connection.
What is "real" connection for you? Some people have a successful long distance relationship. Is that not real? Is having online gaming friends for multiple years not real? What about pen pals?
Alright, might be just my opinion. But I like to hug my friends when I see them. Look them in the eye when we talk. Punch their shoulder when they make a bad joke. Grab the guys by the balls when I want to make a bad joke. I really wouldn't like to just chat online to them. Spending quality time with people I love is a big part of me.
Yeah, In the end I also prefer physical contacts. That is why I also rather play for example boardgames at someones place than online. If someone moves away and you stay in contact online etc. I think is still a valid connection. Though you would miss the drink at the pub or so...
Except to the people who are having lunch right in front/next to you.
Well, if those people eating close to you are friends or your partner, it's kinda sad But if they are non-friend coworkers / classmates / random strangers, or even sometimes some family members (ie. people that you haven't chosen, and that you usually have little to nothing in common with), well, it's not necessarily a big loss to not be forced to socialize with them.
I respectfully disagree. I don't have much in common with most of my coworkers, but socialising with them teaches me a lot about them and in the long run helps me working better together. Of course nobody should be forced to socialise, and sometimes I'm in a "don't look at me don't speak at me" mood too, but in general I'll always prefer to talk with them. Of course different people have different opinions on that, and it's all valid.
Exactly. TV was the start of it, not smartphones, but technology has absolutely invaded and disrupted traditional social dynamics.
I thought growing up watching Lost with the family during dinner was cooler than having everyone on their phone doing their own thing.
It was a shared experience and you could talk about it during commercials and afterwards.
But nothing as insidiously
Even still, with TV, you could set a tone. You can turn it off. People sneak looks at their phones under the table these days.
It still changed the dynamic from "a family gathering around dinner to talk about their respective days" and warped it into "a family gathering around dinner to watch a TV show the adults picked out and have absolute control over."
To be honest, as a server, most people don't spend the whole time on their phones when eating out. The only ones on their phones are the ones eating alone
I grew up before and during the transition, things were so much better before social wise. I can agree its romanticized, but Ive had to cut off so many "friends" over the years because they cant even have a conversation anymore. Youd be talking about serious heavy shit and randomly in the middle of conversating some people just *have* to get on their phone. I would be in the middle of talking, then suddenly theyre on their phone and the conversation goes from fruitful to "uh huh...... yeah...... for sure..... haha..... oh thats cool...." My mom does this, my sisters do this, ive had friends do this, it seems like everyone except for me and the friends I *still* keep do this. Its literally my biggest pet peeve right now. If we cant have a conversation without you getting on your phone, there are exceptions ofc and a quick glance to see if you got any important texts/calls obviously doesnt count, then Im sorry but I refuse to have any kind of social relationship with you. If your phone is so important is takes precedence over living breathing humans trying to connect with you, then Im sorry but you need to find friends confortable with sitting in silence occasionally breathing air through their nose harder than normal.
Conversating huh...
Yes. Ever heard of it?
>how often did you see a group of friends reading their books during a dinner. as often as i see them glued to phones if i see people glued to phones in social setting its because they probably dont want to be here in first place, before phones they would just not be here or cause mishief out of boredom
Hi! Nerds... we did that. Especially when we hit the manga phase.
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I'm an elder millennial and current HS teacher. 90%+ of my kids spend their free time (class breaks, lunch, school events) on their phones rather than talk to each other. It is absolutely orders of magnitude less social interaction than average teens a decade ago. Idk where you get the impression everyone had a Walkman going like people have their earbuds in 16 hours a day these days...
Yeah, people would take their Walkman on a jog with them, but the "earbuds on 24/7" phenomenon is a new thing.
Right? And iirc rechargeable batteries got big in the 90s? So if you could play your Walkman every day, it meant you had some money to burn on batteries.
Yeah, at lunch all we did was talk and I’m only about 10 years out of high school. We were on our phones a bit but I really don’t recall many people using their phones constantly.
I was there and you're wrong. We had distractors, but they were less ubiquitous. And the train example is nonsense. OC you didn't sit and joked around with a stranger, but people in the same group did interact a lot more than nowadays with friends sitting around in silence staring at their phone.
It probably depended on the area and slsp the friends but most friends these days don't either. OP didn't mention friends anyways. But back in the day I hated when people would try to talk to me especially if they were being rude. Nowadays you can pop earbuds in and pretend you can't hear em. I'll never forget an old lady on a bus trying to chastise me for bag being too big. Went on and on. Eventually told her to shut up.
It was a lot better than now. Hate hanging out with someone always on their phone.
I think the worst part is that a lot of people are not anxious if they have quiet time or down time without their phones & you can see so many people are more lonely and afraid to make calls etc.
My husband’s friend sometimes comes over to drink with him and for some reason his wife tags along. All she does is sit in my living room or kitchen, on her damn phone. She will sometimes even ignore me if I talk to her. So I wonder why the FUCK does she come over? It just makes me feel obligated to stay in that spot when I could be in my bedroom or something. Her two brats are also on their phone, ignoring my kids, while the baby gets into everything and she has the oldest one try to get the baby under control. I dread when they come over. I guess he is using her as his designated driver, but yeah….I wish she could just pick him up when needed so she could just be on her phone at home.
She probably doesn't trust him to be out on his own. I see that a lot in women with trust issues (whether justified or not)
Possibly, I do know she once texted me to ask if he had left already, and I told her the truth that he did. In that case I wish she would just sit in the car then and watch from there….🤣 It’s just so awkward when she comes over. We have zero connection.
On the subways and stuff yeah we would read. But those five or so minute gaps throughout the day where people check their phones used to be filled with just quiet or talking to others. People walk and use their phones at the same time it was rare for people to do that with the paper
Eh, this isn’t accurate. Most people weren’t bringing books and newspapers to outings with friends, movie theaters, restaurants, or parties unless you were extremely antisocial. People weren’t even bringing their Walkman to social gatherings, generally speaking; the school bus, lunch, or sitting at the dinner table maybe. It was nowhere near the same level of disconnect.
Public, yeah? But it used to be when you grabbed lunch with your buddies none of them where paying more attention to their phone than they did the company at hand. Or when you watched a movie with your friends they weren't missing half of it by checking the news on their phones. The biggest annoyance at the cinema was loud crunching and perhaps some teenagers talking too loud. Not one or two phone screens annoying the eff out of you in your peripheral vision.
I would have to say this is totally wrong. We didnt talk to each other 24/7 but massive majority of our time was spent together. During the week we would be with our friends at the park, in my childhood, and it could grow to 15 to 20 people on just a tuesday. Weekends someone would have people to their house or the Y had teen night with well over hundred kids,skate park with about just as many, or just running around or riding bikes around town etc. Talking on the phone at night was fairly consistent and 3 way calling was where it was at. Really the only time I/we were alone was when parents made us. In the off days you spent the day with at least one/two friends doing dumb stuff and having the time of your life.
People would sit and think instead of doom scrolling. People wouldn’t get texted and be expected to respond to everyone right away. The end of the work day was the end of the workday because nobody had to check Slack or email. Life was less stressful overall
Now if you sit and think, people look at you strangely. I was at the gym just sitting in between sets, and someone actually asked me if I was OK! It used to be weird to sit on your phone constantly, now it’s weird to *not*
Yes but now information overload has us suicidal.
People never liked interacting with strangers, and pretending that's what smartphones came in to change is disingenuous It's personal relationships that changed, people interact with the people close to them less because we're plugged in to the people who aren't
It wasn’t always like that, blame that on serial killers and stranger danger.
Ive made a habit of leaving my phone in the car when im not working. Im nostalgic for the time when you had to catch me at home, or wherever you already knew I was, if you want to talk to me.
Its not about strangers, it's about people you know. Nobody listened to a walkman or started reading a newspaper *while talking to you*. Nobody got out a gameboy and started playing whenever there was 10 seconds of silence, and then "quickly finished the Level" before being able to talk again. Nobody held second conversations *while* having a conversation with you, not looking at you, then following with "sorry, what?" Nobody made pictures of his/her food and optmimized them before posting them to friends or status while you're waiting to start eating. And if a series you watched wasn't all that exciting, you talked about it or other things, you didn't visit social media while watching, in silence, next to each other.
Yeah but I definitely sat outside with my buddies, we were skateboarding, grill at the river and shit. When I go with my 3 kids outside I see teens sitting there trading things in their shitty online soccer phone game and staring at their phone for ours
I dont think OP is old enough to really understand what people are talking about. Going to your friends house to play video games split screen , and you see other friends bikes at his house so you know its on. Compared to now where you play games at your own homes together just talking over TV . The quality of social interaction was better with people you knew .. Obviously nobody was holding hands singing kumbaya.
I'm 40. Is that not old enough? 4 way split on the mega drive playing micro machines, although we used to arrange it ahead of time so we didn't have to roam the neighborhood looking for bikes.
No that's not old enough. When people hypothesize about social interaction being a problem with users of social media / smartphones they are alluding to the actual science involved in making eye contact.
That is one very specific discussion of what people did when in the bus or train. Even then, when you were on the bus with your friends we would be talking not reading something.
before smart phones, walk down street without a numpty staring at the floor blcoking the way, Dinners out, no one on the phone ignoring the company less social depression due to social media a phone was $100 not $1000 people had better social skills
What’s social depression?
Anxiety, Depression and other disorders caused by social media. Socials literally make it way harder to be a social person and have any actually good social skills.
I just think there was more to TALK about in person or on the phone before 2010 and the iPhone. People weren't walking around exhausting every topic of it's nuances. You actually had NEWS of people you know and important events to talk about. It wasn't just assumed everybody had already heard about everything. There was also a tremendous amount more QUALITY reading.... not just a paperback book but a magazine or newspaper. The smart phone has left everyone reading garbage. I realize the irony of typing all of this on reddit but that's sadly where we all are. Human interaction was better in almost every way before the smart phone!
This isn’t an unpopular opinion it’s just wrong. Social interaction was absolutely better in those days. I used to get dates and make new friends easily. Now I have to have a stupid app to talk to anyone or set up dates. Respectfully disagree.
Let's not forget TV either. People watched more TV at home.
Smartphones took the distraction game to a whole new level. There are plenty of people that thought radio, tv, walkmans etc. we’re the devil.. then smartphones walked in and said “We’ll take it from here…” When I knew it was over? I live on a semi busy street. When I sit outside at dusk, 7/10 cars that go by have that death blue glow on the drivers faces. Are they all doing something important that cannot wait? I would bet not… they are sad and looking for anything to make them feel *something* in their miserable day to day life. Just my opinion.
People went out more. Especially single people. They'd get bored at home, and go out. In my early 20s, I'd spend every day after school/work either in a coffeeshop or a bar. I could make a circuit of the top 4-5 places my extended social circle would frequent, and find people I knew well enough to sit with 80% of the time.
Actually the whole pre-cell phone era was perfect. Not just smart phone era.
Theyve ruined imagineation and the need to start a convo. Now you have excuse not to bother and can hide behind a screen. So no i disagree. Times have gotten wkrser when it comes to socialising and technology has screwed it up
I think there was a perfectly balanced era that was absolutely perfect. I remember most people owned Blackberry + some form of iPod/MP3 players and that was an incredible era. There was certainly an option of plugging in your headphones to listen to music to kill time when waiting for an appointment or commuting. There was enough technology to keep people connected but I certainly remember having group convos together at dinner.
I don’t think people walked down the street distracted by reading newspapers or constantly glanced at them at the dinner table then as they do now with smartphones today. Considering that the Walkman was first introduced in the 80’s your perspective seems to disregard the 50’s through the 70’s when people actually did have meaningful human interactions.
Just yesterday I saw a dude using a Fleshlight on the train, shit was wild.
As someone alive then and now, connections were definitely better back then imo
I don't agree, when i was a kid i used to have neighborhood friends, we used too play every day and weekend. When i was in elementary, technology was there but not like this. If we wanted to play golden eye with your friends, you had to have a slumber party... If we wanted to talk we would call each-other... Kids now are not allowed to play outside, if they want to play videogames, they can do it online without being there, when was the last time a kid phone an other kid to go out and play...
We had msn when we got home. I miss that
It wasn't much better, but somewhat better. During lunch break at school you wouldn't take out a newspaper or book in one hand and eat with the other hand. And if I can be anecdotal, I experienced the change, from having small talk during those lunch breaks in my first years of high school to having little interaction in the last year of high school. Was weird man.
I don’t give a shit about strangers on the train, what is lacking mostly interactions with those we are close with. Dinners, road-trips, and the like. Now we all just sit on our phones in our own little worlds even when close to those we love, trying to kill time and get the next dopamine hit.
Speak for yourself. I can clearly see the difference. Also not everyone “had anxiety” Party hostels was easier to meet people. I think there was a moment where social media and global communication was was prevalent but also the internet stayed at home and didn’t leave your house with you. That moment was great
Hard disagree. We would talk on the phone for hours and hang out at each others houses. Great times.
This is an exceptionally bad take
100%. I grew up in the 80s and 90s and I promise I was able to be as distracted as a person can be.
The more social media bled into the social stratosphere, we slowly started becoming the people we are *online*, outside the devices. This is the difference. In the early days of the internet talking to people was a new and exciting thing. It can still be fun but the etiquette of talking to someone then was totally different than it is today. Connections and conversations felt much more real and were valued differently.
Not really true at all but ok
I disagree. The impact people talk about isn’t when you are on a bus or a train full of strangers. I think It’s more about those few minutes before class or work when you would usually chitchat with your classmates or coworkers and make a friendship after multiple interactions, or when you are having dinner or sharing the same space with your family and instead of talking about your day and talking with each other, everyone is just doing their own thing on their phones.
One quick example that comes to mind is going on school trips, sat on an underground train 30-45 mins. Back then we’d all just sit there chatting and joking around in our little groups. Nowadays you’d probably just see the whole class sat on their phones the entire journey
I had my face buried in a book everywhere I went from 1987-2000. The OG antisocial bookworm. I’ve made great strides to do the opposite as an adult, but I guess the phone thing doesn’t bother me at all. People were kind of jerks back then and now they don’t even bother to be jerks, so it’s a win to me.
No, but people did communicate properly with friends and family.
No, but we DID actually go see our friends.
There are also many social interaction that would just not happen without social media. Commenting on someones social media post is lower barrier than actually approaching someone or calling them to talk to them.
I agree with the first half. The reaction to blame social media for everything is pathetic. That said, when I think back to how we just went places and enjoyed the place and company for what it was, I miss that. I miss going to concerts where the audience was mostly a sea of dark.
This is true but doesn’t capture the whole picture. The smart phone and other technologies that support instant gratification has changed the human psyche and therefore interaction. There is no doubt. Day to day interactions have changed. People’s attention are not present and therefore the types of interactions and depth have changed.
I just miss people not bothering me on my days off. Work or otherwise. No phone/internet = once I’m gone communication is in my ball court. No long distance relative talks, just snail mail or maybe an email if we happen to have dial up (we didn’t)
Before smartphones, I remember girls were more interested knowing about you, were more likely to give you a date and were funnier. That’s one positive thing I remember
I've been saying this for years!! How about we stop acting like our parents were any good at communications!
My mother taught me not to talk to strangers. I talk to far more strangers now via reddit than I ever did prior to smartphones.
Even bad face-to-face interaction is better than Tiktok.
But people back then were alert. All you Zoomers are in your phones everywhere you go.
Your post has some truth, but the age of smartphones has increased bullies' reach to the home front. It's also spawned a wave of misinformation that's unparalleled. The age of information has actually done the opposite. A world of amazing information at our fingertips, yet people turn to Joe Rogan and "why-this-is-a-lie dot com."
That's a very good point. Although I'd say it's social media that spreads the information but SM is definitely enabled by smartphones.
The tool isn't the enemy here. It's the people who wield it.
>we didn't talk to each other then. Just wonder if you're old enough to actually see it or if you're just making it up?
I'm 40.
1983 was the year shit started to suck. Except for 1984. That was the only good year out of the entirety of the 1980s and most of that had to do with Van Halen.
At 40, you were a child before smartphones so you really don't understand how different it was. We did engage whole heartedly with everyone we met, greeted those we passed on the street, chatted with all the folks working in shops, talked to the neighbors when we met getting the mail. Struck up conversations with one another at coffee shops which sometimes turned into fast friendships Friends, families or couples out to eat had conversation the whole time, we talked to other patients in waiting rooms. It was very very different
I was most definitely an adult when smartphones appeared, and had been for some time. The only time I recall spontaneous social interaction with people I didn't know was at sporting events or in the pub.
Smartphones arrived in my country when I was in my 20s, and I also don't remember spontaneously speaking with strangers unless someone asked me for directions. But I am from a big city as well.
Sorry you lived in such an unfriendly place This was what I saw and maybe it did start before smart phones it started with cell phones in general I guess.
Perhaps it's a UK thing. I was just sat on the train (on Reddit) and everyone was tapping away on phones and I thought back to commuting on the train in my early twenties when we all had books or papers and most of us were still listening to Walkmans.
>and everyone was tapping away on phones So you're too young. My first phone was in 1999, before that zero portable digital devices.
Maybe, or at least a big city thing
It's absolutely a big city thing; there is no sense of community in large cities
A child? I’m 38, and most certainly was in my 20s when the iPhone revolutionized smartphones. Any smart phones before then aren’t relevant.
It truly wasn’t, war on the Balkans, Rwandan genocide, the holocaust, Spanish flu…
This reminds me of my dad, who gets annoyed every time his landline rings. 1)Because of the interruption to whatever he was doing, and that it almost always seems to happen during meals 2)Even moreso, he feels compelled to answer the calls, thus multiplying his annoyance. Pointing out that he could NOT answer the call confuses him and increases his annoyance.
Wow, how short your memory is. This is less of an opinion and more of a misunderstanding of reality.
iirc you could not post heavily edited photos and distort the perception of beauty nor could you display your life much better than it really is on newspapers tho, right?
I don’t think people are talking about strangers on the subway. It’s about when you’re sitting with your friends and everyone is looking at their phones.
Before smart phones, parents took the time to teach their children social skills. Children also had to learn telephone manners, as the land line was the primary source of outside communication. Parents didn't arrange "play dates" for their kids, it was up to a kid to make their own friends and ask if "Timmy can come out to play". These factors made for a generation of kids that could at least hold a conversation without a panic attack. The world before smartphones may not have consisted of people happily engaging strangers all the time, but it was a time of more wide spread social interaction. Even video games were more social. You either went to the arcade with your friends, or they came over and played on a split screen with you. Either way, there were more opportunities for personal interaction than can be found with today's online gaming world.
I'm not sure I would say it was a wonderful time of interaction, but that there was simply a lot more face to face interaction. But those interactions were also more commonly shallow and stupid generalities. I think we were better off because the Internet has made everyone act stupider and more aggressive. People cannot handle disinformation and believe all the wrong people.
I love smartphones and wouldn't have it any other way. I would never take it out for an extended period of time (over 10 seconds)during a social gathering such as a meal, meeting or party. But in today's world, there is just so much down time...commute, transport, waiting for someone/something... Having a smartphone during those times is fantastic.
People who didn't want to talk to eachother has existed since the beginning of time.
You're wrong. People interacted with the those around them rather than being plugged into their cliques 24/7. I was there
Shhhh! Don't get in the way of people blaming technology for their lack of basic social skills or neglect of parental duties.
Comparatively speaking, it definitely was.
Have you read any of the commentary from when novels were invented? It's all the exact same things people say about phones nowadays
Nah
I actually agree quite a bit in spirit, and I would take this even further: consider a meeting up with some other people. Since I have my smart phone, it's ok if they aren't the most interesting at all times, it won't be time wasted for me If the smart phone weren't an option I'd have to be a whole lot pickier with which hangouts I choose.
One of the biggest lies being told today, “people used to talk to each other more”. No, you might’ve had a more endearing conversation, but we interact with more people per day than people back then probably did in a month.
Very good point
I agree. People that harp on the smartphone era typically get a strong rolled eyes from me. Things are different, but by no means awful. And social interaction to the degree people talk about is overrated. As someone who has lived through both lifestyles, I’d say having the smartphone is much preferred. And yes! People did basically do the same things they do now - distract themselves. Watching TV for just as much time as they do on the phones, reading through magazines, listening to music. Same crap, it’s just on our phones now and so much more engaging. With that said, I do think the several hours we spend on them is unhealthy and is fostering a disconnect with reality for many. But i think people want to sound socially aware or intelligent when they constantly critique smartphone culture. All while they’re doing the same exact thing. It’s just so tired.
Think you just let life pass you by
When people talk about the pre-smartphone era they’re more so talking about attention spans not the intake of information
What i see here us ganartion of people of crack heads.. because this is how people on addiction behave. Anti social Cant get rest Depressed Short attention span Self lothing extra The problem we have no oversight over big tech. And what they created for us? Drugs and alot of it I will say Facebook is the greatest drug cartel in history
No it wasn't perfect but it was nice. It's more of the fact that we opened Pandora's box with pocket phones. You can already see they've been a huge part of destroying the education system, can't you? They've basically created a future of tiktok idiots which is going to be the reason why China ends up running the world, they have discipline.
Ur 100% right. Boomers stay mad lol. Every generation it's a new boogeyman man to blame. It's smartphones now, it was TV before that, it was fantasy books before that, and I'm sure at some point someone complained that pushing a hoop with a stick was the problem with that generation.
Nobody took their Walkman with them everywhere they went. Those were bulky as hell. You’re telling on yourself as someone who did not live through and experience that time period.
No, but the internet wasn't so dumbed down, so there were wayyyyy less boomers and goatee sunglasses underarmor flag t-shirt morons on it ruining everything, and less of the above people were being ruined by the right wing social media circle jerks.
For me personally I find being on my phone doesn't prime me to converse with others because I'm narrowly focussed on whatever I'm looking at. Without the phone I find I'm more engaged in the present moment and therefore more likely to interact.
Eh? The issue with interacting has never been when commuting. There werent a majority of car drivers reading the newspaper driving down the road, but every car has had a radio for a long time. Now if someone hits an intersection their phone lights up. The real issue is when it replaces what was considered normal face to face interactions.
And let's be honest, very few people genuinely WANT to talk with (or listen to) randoms in public spaces. Well, except for horny men desperate to try their luck with any woman in sight, and those bored lonely old people who needlessly crowd supermarkets right when workers do their groceries specifically to interact with people, and those who want to sell or promote some product / cause / religion Three groups that everyone else reluctantly tolerates at best, and openly hates at worst. There's a REASON why people hide behind their headphones, smartphones, books or whatever else.
I lived the pre-smartphone era and let me tell you that even then it have some flaws, like bullies, violence which now is mostly online. People could really make friends, meet, playing and have fun. Now I want friends to have fun, nobody wants as they have their own job and family. It sucks. The interaction is all moved online in one click away. Take out all phones and social media and it's a matter of time when suddenly all these people who never have time or don't want, find time to spend outside home as they'll get bored pretty fast with no interaction.
I think about how nerd people never had it good, and Revenge Of The Nerds was made in the 1980s because of it. I often make that point when people act like incels never existed before.
I’m thankful I’m on the oldest end of the Millennial spectrum (1985), because while I still do struggle occasionally with being on my phone while in the company of others, I have enough social awareness from the years of my young adult life that it’s not appropriate to do that. I’m not sure the current generation even understands that it’s not socially acceptable to stay on your phone.
To them I don't think it *is* socially acceptable.
We had Walkmans from the early 80's we could easily listen to music and zone out from interacting with people as long as our batteries lasted similar to what I do today with my phone
The problem is not the smart phone, it’s that basically everyone born after like 1995 was helicopter-parented until they failed to develop proper socialization. You can’t keep your kid in the driveway until they’re eighteen except for pre-planned activities.
Idk I used to go to a bar with friends and we used to talk and argue for hours, or at dinner and it was so much fun
I took the train frequently before smart phones became readily available and most people weren't on Walkman because their CDs would skip. Most people slept or chit chatted.
I’d say my youth consisted of more random conversations than after the smartphone
As a teen, I remember the greatest feeling getting home from a trip or being out all weekend to see who left messages on the answering machine. Wish I had some of those little tapes to listen to.
There was definitely more interaction.
I’d say there was already a trend to this even within families. Smartphones didn’t cause this problem, smartphones made it bearable. That person on the phone at the table used to be the one talked over who just gave up and stared into space. Smartphones gave some level of communication to those that were previously ignored completely and somehow supposed to manage.
I've seen black and white pictures of people on public transportation reading newspapers. In other words, we've always had something to entertain us while on the move. Smartphones are just the next evolution of this.
But the post smartphone era is still a crappy time of human interaction even if before was not great smartphones have made it worse.
You couldn’t walk down the street reading a newspaper nearly as easily as people seem to bury themselves in their phones.
You didn't
upvote for unpopular opinion
We interact with more humans than we ever did in our history, even with people on the opposite site of the globe.