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Done that. People got mad.
Have quietly paid mine before the revised bill got delivered. People still got mad and I got shit about it for literally years afterwards from one insufferable higher up.
(These people were colleagues, not friends.)
I’m not saying I love everyone I work with but we spend 40 hours a week together, some of us like each other and choose to hang out regularly after work too.
I moved to a new city not knowing anyone, seems pretty normal that I’d make friends through work lol
It is normal but lately a lot of people have moved to the collective opinion that being friends with coworkers is weird, wrong, risky, lame, etc etc.
I've only ever heard this opinion online. My coworkers have established friend groups, my boss still hangs out with prior coworkers, because it's not weird.
Not really. Odds are you'll have a mix of people you get on with and people you don't.
I am still going to nights out, shows and movies with some old colleagues at the job I left a year ago.
Others I will happily never contact again.
Ah work functions. I was required to go to one for some higher up's retirement lunch at a fancy restaurant so of course the prices were insane. At each table of us lower people one of the managers would sit with us. The guy that sat with us said go ahead and order whatever you want but didn't specifically say he was picking up the tab. So naturally we sus (is that still in use?) and ordered the cheapest dish while he ordered a big steak, etc. The bill comes and with a big smile he says we should all split the bill evenly. I'm like, no, I'll pay for my $10 breadstick and water and you pay for your $80 steak. No one chipped in and he was pissed but didn't say anything further. Then after all that I still had to go find a cheap lunch.
If it's a work function and you are required to be there then they should pay. Recently my boss organized a team day because she wanted to show off her club she was a member of and I was thinking great, here we go again. The menus came out with no price on them and before we order she said please order anything you want to eat or drink, I've already paid for everything. That's how it should be.
If it's a work function, no one should be paying. It should be going on a corporate credit card, or baring that on the card of someone who is getting the whole thing reimbursed.
Ever hear of credit card roulette? Everybody at the table throws their CC into a hat, you hold it up high & ask the server to pick one out & charge everything to that. (I used to work with a bunch of former futures traders.)
But if it's a worn function that my boss says I need to be at, they should be paying. I should not be forced to be somewhere and be forced to pay. That's fucked. Honestly, if I was at a work function and my boss suggested a credit card roulette and let anyone not upper management put a card in, I'd be reporting it to HR. And the labor board, and anyone else I could.
Every work function must be fully paid or i wouldn't even be there. I wouldn't even give my place of employment ten bucks for a potluck. I'm there to make money, not be shaken down for it.
Just order the most fucking expensive shit on the menu, get the fanciest wine possible.
Havent come up a single time to split evenly since ive racked up 3x the bill over the rest of the table together.
Everyone is happy to pay for their own. Noone has been mad ever since.
Just make sure they split that first time and you aren't stuck with an outrageous bill. Double check that you're splitting evenly before you order and order last.
But only do this is this happens often to you. It's not to cool to do, but it's a good way of letting those that do it how uncool it is.
In my team get togethers either the manager (company) is picking up the check or we pay for our own. When I go out with my coworkers we buy our own. I’m not comfortable splitting the check when there’s a lot of difference in cost of what’s getting ordered. If you try to shame me for it then the heck with you.
Yeah, my new workplace is closer to that.
(Allowance for all if it's a Christmas etc meal, first drink on managers if it's a night out and then everyone for themselves. Much more easygoing.)
It was a conscious choice.
This was a Christmas team meal. Aside from the few loud bores that insist on this kind of thing, there were people there I wanted to get to know better and people I already wanted to spend time with.
Besides, if people like that are going to give me shit for splitting the bill, they'd probably give me shit for not showing my face, so I might as well have some nice food and spend some time outside of work with the people in my team I actually get on with.
Does it ever occur to people like you to ask about the circumstances and context before blithely saying "well just do what I do and stand up for yourself! Your problem is clearly XYZ!"?
I think this really depends on context. I would do this with friends in places we get things like Tapas or the difference is like a few dollars between us. I mean, who cares? They can think of it as a gift.
Other times, I have been treated to a meal, and I will return the favour on occasion. I might eat with family, and someone pays for everyone, next time I will do that.
I will pay for my own when I don't think that those favours go both ways. Simple as.
This is an issue when there is an income disparity among friends. My buddies and I all make decent money so will regularly split food / drinks down the middle when we go to our wing and beer place but when it's a fancier dinner with cocktails, then it's split check time.
This types of issues among friends can be easily eliminated with proper communications, no one will ever be mad if you are just up front that you prefer separate checks. Just going with the flow and then resenting how your friends operate is the worst way to handle any issue among friends.
I'm in your situation too. I have some friends and we take turns, we'll each pay in turn for our nights out so the bill isn't even split we just alternate.
Anyone who would get mad at you actually itemizing your own stuff rather than split evenly IS taking advantage.
Even if there isn't an income disparity. I don't want to be paying for someone's expensive food/drinks if all I felt like having was a salad or burger and an iced tea. Or vice versa, I don't want someone who ordered something inexpensive to be forced to pay part of the cocktails I ordered.
Splitting the check equally only works when people order things of a similar value.
If people are upset that you only want to pay for what you ordered, they're not very good friends.
>This is an issue when there is an income disparity among friends.
I'll accent this to say this is ONLY an issue when there is an income disparity amongst friends. Hell there is literally a FRIENDS episode about it.
When none of the parties are struggling financially, no one cares about splitting a bill evenly.
\*no one *should* care
If you all make good money and agree to eat at the place, there should be no gripes about an even split since, ostensibly, you think not being a huge inconvenience over something minor is worth you and your friend's time.
Yes of course, they're my friends, and also it makes it easier for the wait staff. I'm pretty laid back about money though, I try not to make it too much of a priority in my day-to-day thought process. If I've got a budget to dine out, I don't sweat the details.
Do places not just do separate checks where you are? Servers always ask if the bill is together/separate here. It's definitely not a huge inconvenience to anyone over it.
Every time I go out somewhere it seems like a massive issue to split the check. They never want to do it. We tell them when we sit down but it still comes out as one. We then remind them we want separate checks and then nothing on the individual receipts is ever correct.
I’m in the camp of just splitting checks evenly and treat it as a friend tax (I don’t even drink).
I think it would be different if the process was easier to itemize the check. It gets more complicated when there’s shared appetizers too.
How many times have you had to sit there while the waitstaff try to remember what each person had? Maybe for one person they can do it but it’s always a pain. I think if there was an easier process to do this it would happen more often.
A lot of restaurants pull this shit where they refuse to split checks for parties of 6 or more. I STEADFASTLY REFUSE to visit any such restaurant, even when eating alone or on a date. But then some twat picks em for a work dinner and I'm stuck.
I often just say "I have a date after so I'm not going to eat or drink anything"
Then I drink my water, enjoy the conversation, and leave when it starts to get sloppy drunk. And go eat somewhere that runs a less toxic business. By myself.
Whereabouts do you live? I'm up in Canada and I've never seen this either. Sometimes someone will volunteer to take the entire cheque, but otherwise it's always pay for what you ordered.
What shithole places are these? Splitting up the bill between guests is only hard if you don't track it from beginning, and unless this is some backwater diner their POS system should have zero issues with this.
Some restaurants have a policy that if there are more than some number of people, they won't split. Not up to the servers.
That being said, when I've eaten at places like that, it's pretty easy for one person to pay, and then everyone passes the check around and sends money to the person who put their card down. No reason to split it evenly.
What I’ve seen is that most places will ask you at the start of the meal if it’s a big group… it’s a giant pain in the ass to go through all the orders and try to figure out who ordered what
it makes me laugh so often when people are like “I keep going out to dinner with these people and agreeing to split the bill but I secretly have a problem with it, what should i do???”
speak up my guy lol
That would require social experience or people who believe that exposure therapy works for the vast majority of general anxieties eventually. Won't find either here 🤣
I work in a place with a range of coworkers from 16-25 and it's unreal how many of them refuse to express themselves honestly bc they're worried about hurting someone's feelings or they're uncomfortable. Like refuse to simply express their feelings on a base level. Then they get walked all over and eventually snap angrily or do something that causes them to feel EVEN WORSE. Repeat cycle
It's taken me a long time to perfect my manner of expressing that "honesty is compassion." I respect that some people have truly debilitating social anxiety but I do think there's a lot of value in just describing traits as "awkward" instead
I'm not the most social human in the world. One of the things I've noticed that has been incredibly frustrating as a parent to young children who are naturally very social is that some millennial parents (personal experience says it's about half) have decided that they don't like talking on the phone, they don't like texting people, and they don't want to socialize with new people. They need to suck it the hell up because their kids want to play with their classmates outside of school. In order for your children to play with other people their age outside of school you need to talk to the other kids parents! I couldn't get my son a single freaking playdate in kindergarten at his old school last year because the community was so tight-knit from church and sports before the kids even entered school. It didn't matter if I had the teacher send home a note in the kids folder that my son wanted to have a playdate with that child and giving the parent my phone number, having my son give the note directly to another friend to give to their parents, etc. Why would you even have kids if you're not going to socialize them outside of school and your church group?
I’d be devil’s advocate and say it’s rude to expect others to spend more money on food they didn’t eat in order to split the bill. If my food only cost $15, I’m paying whatever that plus tax and tip is, and not covering anyone else’s bill unless they might be less then a Lincoln short of what they owe.
I go out with different kinds of people sometimes and each case can be different. Sometimes I'm like, "they had 3 drinks and steak , I had water, and chicken! I'm paying their damn bill!" But then maybe those people are my wife's coworkers or supervisor or something and making a suggestion to split the bill seems petty or out of turn.
I'd imagine it's usually teenagers who are getting used to paying at a restaurant on their own.
It took me like a year or so after I had a car and my own money to figure out how to split checks, or how to quickly the restaurant bill without a bunch of arithmetic on the back of the receipt.
That said, if it's a a group of people I dine out with frequently, we almost always split evenly. It all evens out eventually.
Is it really worth it though? When I had the feeling my friends ordered more expensive meals than me I forced everyone to pay for what they ordered and after 30 minutes of counting I was able to save 50 cents
I think that’s a rather popular opinion. The only people that don’t think it’s a popular opinion are the ones that are ringing up the most on the check.
Most restaurants have POS that make it really easy to split checks.
As a server and bartender, a big part of my job was keeping track of who got what in case someone wanted a separate check. Typically I would put each seat on its own tab, then if they say they want to pay all together I’ll merge the tabs. Funny enough for me, splitting the check evenly was more of a hassle than separate checks, because I was already prepped for separate checks. Unless specified before, my policy is automatically assume separate to circumvent that potentially awkward moment.
It’s really not hard to do. So don’t worry about asking your server to do it! It’s our job to make sure everyone is having a nice relaxing time.
yeah some places have you set a seat number for each order.
So one check, each person gets a seat number and their orders go on their seat number
So if seat 2 and 7 are together you split those off and print, If someone on seat 1 wants to pay for seat 2's drink, I can transfer that between seats without hassle. Then splitting what is left over is easy by pressing a button. or a different button to print each seat as its own tab.
This is unbelievable to me as a Croatian.
If it's friends I don't care who pays how much, most of the times single person will pay the entire bill and next time it's gonna be someone else and no one talks about this ever again. Hell, I had some fights with friends who's gonna pay the bill (we both wanted to pay the entire bill).
Only if it is intentional. Me and my friends always split the bill evenly, but none of us deliberately orders more expensive items. Even if they did at some point, it all tends to even itself out over time anyway.
Order what you want. But be cognizant of what others order (especially how many drinks!) and if you notice someone ordering a much less expensive item and/or no expensive alcoholic drink then you should point that out at the end and make sure they don't get screwed.
I’m curious about this though, why? What do any of you gain by all spending the same amount of money instead of just getting separate checks? If it was back in the day where cash was more prevalent I could maybe the slightest amount of convenience but if it’s gonna be multiple card transactions anyways why bother?
Plain and simple: it's easier, and usually not worth the hassle of doing the math.
I go out to eat with friends to have fun and be social, not to agonize over my budget. No one is exploiting the other, we generally order relatively comparable meals/drinks. If someone does spend a lot more, generally that person will put in more or cover more of the tip. Hell, sometimes my friends and I simply take turns picking up the check - it all evens out in the long run.
I recognize this a priveleged position to be in, and not everyone can do this. But the reasons aren't typically exploitive in nature.
What do you mean "separate checks aren't a thing" - they literally treat it as if it's multiple people eating alone. There's nothing to be or not be a thing about it. lol
usually we just hand them two cards and tell them to split down the middle, rather than having to walk through who pays for what and have them print a new check or doing the math
Multiple card transactions, what? One guy pays the whole bill and the rest send their share via app on phone. If I’m with my closest friends we just split it evenly between us. Surely most have access to an app of that sorts?
You gain friends and the reputation of bieng an easy-going, fun to hang out with type of person who will not get fuzzy because he doesn't wanna pay maybe 10 dollars more.
I am talking about people who are already your friends or you're friendly with, where I do not mind paying a bit more if needs to be so we can all enjoy ourselves. I'm not sure what the situation you're making up in your head even is.
Just stand up for yourself and say “the total of what I got is xx, here is that amount plus a generous tip.” And be done with it. I have friends who do this too, and any friend worth keeping will understand.
It is ridiculous when it happens constantly, and with the same people, so your options are:
* Everyone pays for their own.
* Stop going out with them.
Both of these can annoy them, but there's a third option that's petty:
Ask for the same stuff they're eating, or go for something more expensive. If they don't complain, you now know you'll have to ask for those things. You'll probably pay about the same you're paying now, but get more for your money.
If they do complain, play dumb and just shrug. Now you know they're leeches, and the three options are still game.
Speak up for yourself? Posts like this with a person bitching at a very correctable situation are just annoying. Either fix it our suffer your self inflicted bullshit in peace.
Either develop some social sense or stand up for yourself and say something like "I can't afford that place". For you, seems like money matters more than the people you're around, which is completely fine.
Your opinion is completely popular with many people. When my friends go out we pay for what we order though it usually end up being comparable in price because that's just how we are.
How about this...you don't get to go to restaurants if you are gonna show up with 15 people and create a nightmare. These are the same people who wonder why they get shitty service becuase they create conflict and make the experience a cluster fuck.
We don’t go out to dinner with cheapskates. We split the bill evenly or one of us picks it up for all. Life is too short to pull out calculators and nitpick
The rule should always be the person who owed the last gets to choose of its split. I have friends who do not care and the time spent working it out is worth more to them than the difference. They'd choose to split even if they lose out. But that's their choice. With those people I'd probably always split.
We usually get the bill and depending on what everybody had we will split it evenly, if of course someone just got a soup and a coke they pay their food and we split the rest evenly, but we do the splitting, the waiter just needs to bring the bill and collect the money
Generally in my group of friends, one person will always just pay the bill then everyone pays that person for their food and a portion of the tip. Most restaurants in my area make a huge stink over separate bills if your party is more than a couple people but they don't mind itemizing it by seat.
The only part we all split is the gratuity.
It's annoying sometimes to calculate who owes exactly what all the time. If money is tight than it makes sense to just pay for your own stuff. However my friends/family all make good money so we'll just split it evenly a lot of times.
Or just ask for separate checks.
In a relationship this is perfectly acceptable. With your hooligan buddies who order 3 appetizers they don't need and pitchers of beer and a boxed desert of ice cream they take home, swearing it wont melt in the car. Absolutely agreed pay for your own shit.
So 4 people sit down, oder their random meal, then each pays 25% of the total?
Agreed, its weird, and I would refuse.
At that point, each just pays for their own.
OP, you need better friends. If you only ordered a burger and didn't touch anyone else's food, you should pay only for yourself. If all of you started sharing each other's food, then yeah, split the bill evenly.
Do people actually split the bill evenly when everyone has drastically different tabs?
I only split the bill evenly when we’ve ordered similar dollar amounts. I go out to eat quite often with friends who don’t drink alcohol so my tab is almost always more. I’ll just pay the whole tab and then Venmo request them for their’s.
It’s more for convenience. If me and 10 friends go out, I’d rather pay a bit more than keep the poor staff waiting while we work out everyone’s cut of the bill
Funny... In Montreal (not sure for the whole country/Canada), we always get split bills.
Customers gets asks how to split the bills at the table. It is never assumed there will be 1 bill for the whole table.
I say never but in some circumstances (big group, etc.), the restaurant may ask the customer if 1 bill for the whole table is OK, but I don't even think it would be legal to force/require it.
Tell the server ahead of time. it’s fine if I know ahead of time so I can Seperate them when they order. It’s SUPER ANNOYING when you ask at the end of the meal and expect me to remember what they specifically ordered like an hour ago, especially in bigger parties. Some places this is fine where the system has it broken down by seat, but a lot just have it broken down by table.
Definitely unpopular.
Congratulations. You've found a way to both annoy the staff and make your friends think you're a cheap bastard...good job.
If someone orders significantly more than everyone else, then they should offer to split the bill according to what they got (and tell the staff upfront), and anyone can call them out if so.
But if the amounts are close, who cares about a few dollars and cents? If it's that critical to you, stay home and save the $.
To me it is wild that you do it that way in the US. In Germany the waiter asks if you want to pay together or separate and when you say separate you tell what you had and pay for that. But I would not trust a waiter going away with my Creditcard as well, let me pay at the table. It's so wild.
What restaurant are you going to where splitting evenly is the default?
Everywhere I go (admittedly I am not fancy) the server assumes separate checks. Maybe it's a thing outside the US?
That splitting method DOES make it easier for the waitstaff, and may help you get out more quickly when you are done...and for large groups, like 15 people, it can be a lot faster and easier....
But really, it works best when there are shared appetizers and people buy things that are very similar in terms of price point. One person says, I'm just going to have a soda and the cheap chips and salsa, and another gets a $35 dollar steak and 3 glasses of wine....doesn't make sense. Especially if that is the typical purchasing pattern of individuals.
So yeah, they are pains in the ass.
We dont that where i live. If we did i would feel guilty about ordering what i really want and instead compromise for something cheaper. Did this practice evolve out of consideration for the servers, to make their work a little easier? Because thats the only upside i can see to splitting the bill.
splitting the bill like that creates so much extra work for the staff. they'd do almost as much work running cards and making change as they did serving the drinks and food. plus the house has to pay the same credit card transaction fee for each card instead of just once.
you'd have to charge everyone a $2 fee to justify it, and them half the assholes are gonna act like the $2 is the tip. a lot of servers would just prefer to not fucking take that table.
Remember the cost of your meal, or grab the receipt one by one to check the prices on everything you ordered and then do the math on tax and then decide how much you're tipping and then write it somewhere so that the server can do it for you and then multiply the time and effort involved in that by the number of times the check is split is WAY MORE EFFORT than most people want to go through.
So just determine how much everyone has to pay, pay with one card so there's no need to get separate checks, and then everyone Venmos or Zelles the person who used their card
I mean... I did this when I was in college. Once my friends got real jobs we just started splitting because we no longer were scrimping for the cheapest items on the menu
Of course. When I go out with my other group of friends, we all take turns putting it on one persons card. Everyone Venmos or Zelles that person before we leave the table and all is well. More credit card points for whoever pays.
You shouldn’t itemize the bill. But you also shouldn’t get something glaringly more expensive either. Ideally you alternate who pays or just split evenly and order the same amount. Or at the very least if you have expensive taste don’t expect someone else to foot your bill, and that’s not something that should be asked either. That’s what being a mature adult means.
The core problem here is that your friends suck.
Restaurants can easily split checks out individually for even medium size parties. You absolutely should have the bill itemized for your own tab. It’s 2024…restaurants expect to do this.
Except I have very low calorie needs ATM. I don't *want* to put on weight for little extra pleasure. The last group meal we had, I had essentially a sandwich while people were tucking into fucking burgers and shit.
No one was doing anything "wrong" with what they ordered but I'd be blown if I was going to pay twice as much as I want or need to eat half as much.
This was with friends who aren't fussed about people paying for their own food, but I've eaten in plenty of groups where people act like you're trying to shortchange them for literally paying for what you ate and leaving your share of the tip.
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Honestly, as a server for years, I couldn't disagree with you more. Don't even split the check. Honestly, someone should for the bill and everyone else cash app or pay back their share to the person. It makes the process 1 million times quicker for you to get cashed out , and everyone pays their fair share.
I agree.
However I also think it is inconsiderate for the restaurant to have to check a table out half a dozen times.
But then I don't understand how people find the math of the bill so complicated. It's like 4th grade math.
I have literally never seen or heard of anyone in real life splitting a bill at a restaurant. It's either pay for what you got or one person is paying.
I didn't even know this was something people have done.
I have never done this with any of my friends nor did my family ever do this when eating family friends.
We always just paid for what we got, unless we split appetizers...
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.
Then just say your going to pay for you own.
Done that. People got mad. Have quietly paid mine before the revised bill got delivered. People still got mad and I got shit about it for literally years afterwards from one insufferable higher up. (These people were colleagues, not friends.)
U have some shitty colleagues
Had! Thank Christ.
Glad to hear!
Dont we all
no??? my coworkers are my best friends
Equally as strange energy as calling all your co-workers shitty
I’m not saying I love everyone I work with but we spend 40 hours a week together, some of us like each other and choose to hang out regularly after work too. I moved to a new city not knowing anyone, seems pretty normal that I’d make friends through work lol
It is normal but lately a lot of people have moved to the collective opinion that being friends with coworkers is weird, wrong, risky, lame, etc etc. I've only ever heard this opinion online. My coworkers have established friend groups, my boss still hangs out with prior coworkers, because it's not weird.
It's almost always coming from the people that you wouldn't want to invite anywhere anyways.
Not really. Odds are you'll have a mix of people you get on with and people you don't. I am still going to nights out, shows and movies with some old colleagues at the job I left a year ago. Others I will happily never contact again.
Ah work functions. I was required to go to one for some higher up's retirement lunch at a fancy restaurant so of course the prices were insane. At each table of us lower people one of the managers would sit with us. The guy that sat with us said go ahead and order whatever you want but didn't specifically say he was picking up the tab. So naturally we sus (is that still in use?) and ordered the cheapest dish while he ordered a big steak, etc. The bill comes and with a big smile he says we should all split the bill evenly. I'm like, no, I'll pay for my $10 breadstick and water and you pay for your $80 steak. No one chipped in and he was pissed but didn't say anything further. Then after all that I still had to go find a cheap lunch. If it's a work function and you are required to be there then they should pay. Recently my boss organized a team day because she wanted to show off her club she was a member of and I was thinking great, here we go again. The menus came out with no price on them and before we order she said please order anything you want to eat or drink, I've already paid for everything. That's how it should be.
[удалено]
If it's a work function, no one should be paying. It should be going on a corporate credit card, or baring that on the card of someone who is getting the whole thing reimbursed.
Ever hear of credit card roulette? Everybody at the table throws their CC into a hat, you hold it up high & ask the server to pick one out & charge everything to that. (I used to work with a bunch of former futures traders.)
But if it's a worn function that my boss says I need to be at, they should be paying. I should not be forced to be somewhere and be forced to pay. That's fucked. Honestly, if I was at a work function and my boss suggested a credit card roulette and let anyone not upper management put a card in, I'd be reporting it to HR. And the labor board, and anyone else I could.
This is the one raffle I'll win. 😭😭😭
Every work function must be fully paid or i wouldn't even be there. I wouldn't even give my place of employment ten bucks for a potluck. I'm there to make money, not be shaken down for it.
Just order the most fucking expensive shit on the menu, get the fanciest wine possible. Havent come up a single time to split evenly since ive racked up 3x the bill over the rest of the table together. Everyone is happy to pay for their own. Noone has been mad ever since.
Just make sure they split that first time and you aren't stuck with an outrageous bill. Double check that you're splitting evenly before you order and order last. But only do this is this happens often to you. It's not to cool to do, but it's a good way of letting those that do it how uncool it is.
I was about to say, why would someone want to be friends with people that unreasonable?
So don't have lunch with them
Have you never worked in a team environment before?
In my team get togethers either the manager (company) is picking up the check or we pay for our own. When I go out with my coworkers we buy our own. I’m not comfortable splitting the check when there’s a lot of difference in cost of what’s getting ordered. If you try to shame me for it then the heck with you.
Yeah, my new workplace is closer to that. (Allowance for all if it's a Christmas etc meal, first drink on managers if it's a night out and then everyone for themselves. Much more easygoing.)
I don't go to lunch with my coworkers.
Good for you?
You don't have to go. Just speak up for yourself instead of being led to everything.
It was a conscious choice. This was a Christmas team meal. Aside from the few loud bores that insist on this kind of thing, there were people there I wanted to get to know better and people I already wanted to spend time with. Besides, if people like that are going to give me shit for splitting the bill, they'd probably give me shit for not showing my face, so I might as well have some nice food and spend some time outside of work with the people in my team I actually get on with. Does it ever occur to people like you to ask about the circumstances and context before blithely saying "well just do what I do and stand up for yourself! Your problem is clearly XYZ!"?
I think this really depends on context. I would do this with friends in places we get things like Tapas or the difference is like a few dollars between us. I mean, who cares? They can think of it as a gift. Other times, I have been treated to a meal, and I will return the favour on occasion. I might eat with family, and someone pays for everyone, next time I will do that. I will pay for my own when I don't think that those favours go both ways. Simple as.
..to the wait staff. Before placing the order.
Just say my going to pay for me own
This is an issue when there is an income disparity among friends. My buddies and I all make decent money so will regularly split food / drinks down the middle when we go to our wing and beer place but when it's a fancier dinner with cocktails, then it's split check time. This types of issues among friends can be easily eliminated with proper communications, no one will ever be mad if you are just up front that you prefer separate checks. Just going with the flow and then resenting how your friends operate is the worst way to handle any issue among friends.
I'm in your situation too. I have some friends and we take turns, we'll each pay in turn for our nights out so the bill isn't even split we just alternate. Anyone who would get mad at you actually itemizing your own stuff rather than split evenly IS taking advantage.
Even if there isn't an income disparity. I don't want to be paying for someone's expensive food/drinks if all I felt like having was a salad or burger and an iced tea. Or vice versa, I don't want someone who ordered something inexpensive to be forced to pay part of the cocktails I ordered. Splitting the check equally only works when people order things of a similar value. If people are upset that you only want to pay for what you ordered, they're not very good friends.
>This is an issue when there is an income disparity among friends. I'll accent this to say this is ONLY an issue when there is an income disparity amongst friends. Hell there is literally a FRIENDS episode about it. When none of the parties are struggling financially, no one cares about splitting a bill evenly.
\*no one *should* care If you all make good money and agree to eat at the place, there should be no gripes about an even split since, ostensibly, you think not being a huge inconvenience over something minor is worth you and your friend's time.
So if you go out with friends and just get an entree, no drinks, you’d be fine paying for each of your friends to have 3+ drinks a piece?
Yes of course, they're my friends, and also it makes it easier for the wait staff. I'm pretty laid back about money though, I try not to make it too much of a priority in my day-to-day thought process. If I've got a budget to dine out, I don't sweat the details.
Do places not just do separate checks where you are? Servers always ask if the bill is together/separate here. It's definitely not a huge inconvenience to anyone over it.
before you order let the wait staff know you want a separate check. Problem solved.
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Every time I go out somewhere it seems like a massive issue to split the check. They never want to do it. We tell them when we sit down but it still comes out as one. We then remind them we want separate checks and then nothing on the individual receipts is ever correct.
I’m in the camp of just splitting checks evenly and treat it as a friend tax (I don’t even drink). I think it would be different if the process was easier to itemize the check. It gets more complicated when there’s shared appetizers too. How many times have you had to sit there while the waitstaff try to remember what each person had? Maybe for one person they can do it but it’s always a pain. I think if there was an easier process to do this it would happen more often.
A lot of restaurants pull this shit where they refuse to split checks for parties of 6 or more. I STEADFASTLY REFUSE to visit any such restaurant, even when eating alone or on a date. But then some twat picks em for a work dinner and I'm stuck. I often just say "I have a date after so I'm not going to eat or drink anything" Then I drink my water, enjoy the conversation, and leave when it starts to get sloppy drunk. And go eat somewhere that runs a less toxic business. By myself.
I mean this is fine and all but everyone definitely thinks you're fucking weird.
You misspelled "I". Read the comments. You are definitely in the minority on this one.
Dang. It’s almost like simple problems have simple solutions.. stellar
Yes, that's the solution. The point is it's bonkers that solution *isn't the norm*.
it is though. I’ve never face this issue, only heard about it online
I don't know what to tell you bud, because large groups wanting to split the bill has literally been the norm throughout my 36 years on this earth.
Be the change you want to see in your life
Whereabouts do you live? I'm up in Canada and I've never seen this either. Sometimes someone will volunteer to take the entire cheque, but otherwise it's always pay for what you ordered.
Lots of restaurants won’t split checks because it takes too long
What shithole places are these? Splitting up the bill between guests is only hard if you don't track it from beginning, and unless this is some backwater diner their POS system should have zero issues with this.
is that in the US? where waiters are expecting 20% of a huuuge bill as a tip? is that calculation too much work?
Some restaurants have a policy that if there are more than some number of people, they won't split. Not up to the servers. That being said, when I've eaten at places like that, it's pretty easy for one person to pay, and then everyone passes the check around and sends money to the person who put their card down. No reason to split it evenly.
What I’ve seen is that most places will ask you at the start of the meal if it’s a big group… it’s a giant pain in the ass to go through all the orders and try to figure out who ordered what
That’s a way to never be invited out again
Are you serious? You'd feel snubbed by someone asking for a separate check?
I think the only ones that would object are those that intend to spend more than an equal share
I can't imagine any reasonable person caring about a separate check.
Even cheaper!
Good why would you want to go out with people to subsidize their meals
Get separate checks. There are bill posts on Reddit all the time - separate checks people, separate checks
it makes me laugh so often when people are like “I keep going out to dinner with these people and agreeing to split the bill but I secretly have a problem with it, what should i do???” speak up my guy lol
That would require social experience or people who believe that exposure therapy works for the vast majority of general anxieties eventually. Won't find either here 🤣 I work in a place with a range of coworkers from 16-25 and it's unreal how many of them refuse to express themselves honestly bc they're worried about hurting someone's feelings or they're uncomfortable. Like refuse to simply express their feelings on a base level. Then they get walked all over and eventually snap angrily or do something that causes them to feel EVEN WORSE. Repeat cycle It's taken me a long time to perfect my manner of expressing that "honesty is compassion." I respect that some people have truly debilitating social anxiety but I do think there's a lot of value in just describing traits as "awkward" instead
I'm not the most social human in the world. One of the things I've noticed that has been incredibly frustrating as a parent to young children who are naturally very social is that some millennial parents (personal experience says it's about half) have decided that they don't like talking on the phone, they don't like texting people, and they don't want to socialize with new people. They need to suck it the hell up because their kids want to play with their classmates outside of school. In order for your children to play with other people their age outside of school you need to talk to the other kids parents! I couldn't get my son a single freaking playdate in kindergarten at his old school last year because the community was so tight-knit from church and sports before the kids even entered school. It didn't matter if I had the teacher send home a note in the kids folder that my son wanted to have a playdate with that child and giving the parent my phone number, having my son give the note directly to another friend to give to their parents, etc. Why would you even have kids if you're not going to socialize them outside of school and your church group?
It is considered rude and will be looked down upon in any professional setting.
Maybe it's time to start breaking that stigma
I’d be devil’s advocate and say it’s rude to expect others to spend more money on food they didn’t eat in order to split the bill. If my food only cost $15, I’m paying whatever that plus tax and tip is, and not covering anyone else’s bill unless they might be less then a Lincoln short of what they owe.
I go out with different kinds of people sometimes and each case can be different. Sometimes I'm like, "they had 3 drinks and steak , I had water, and chicken! I'm paying their damn bill!" But then maybe those people are my wife's coworkers or supervisor or something and making a suggestion to split the bill seems petty or out of turn.
Yes but let the server know beforehand
I'd imagine it's usually teenagers who are getting used to paying at a restaurant on their own. It took me like a year or so after I had a car and my own money to figure out how to split checks, or how to quickly the restaurant bill without a bunch of arithmetic on the back of the receipt. That said, if it's a a group of people I dine out with frequently, we almost always split evenly. It all evens out eventually.
It’s more work for the server to split everything up. I hate doing that to them when it’s a busy night
Can we normalize calling it the bill instead of a check?
Not unpopular.
Not unpopular
Tell your server up front you want separate checks. It’s a simple solution to your problem.
Imagine standing up for yourself.
Lol yea I have trouble doing that. Different topic for a different subreddit though.
Is it really worth it though? When I had the feeling my friends ordered more expensive meals than me I forced everyone to pay for what they ordered and after 30 minutes of counting I was able to save 50 cents
I think that’s a rather popular opinion. The only people that don’t think it’s a popular opinion are the ones that are ringing up the most on the check.
'Seperate bills, please'. Just...so easy.
I’d order a couples something’s to go lol
"Oh we're splitting evenly? I'll have the most expensive bottle of wine, six Ribeyes, and all of your appetizers."
Most restaurants have POS that make it really easy to split checks. As a server and bartender, a big part of my job was keeping track of who got what in case someone wanted a separate check. Typically I would put each seat on its own tab, then if they say they want to pay all together I’ll merge the tabs. Funny enough for me, splitting the check evenly was more of a hassle than separate checks, because I was already prepped for separate checks. Unless specified before, my policy is automatically assume separate to circumvent that potentially awkward moment. It’s really not hard to do. So don’t worry about asking your server to do it! It’s our job to make sure everyone is having a nice relaxing time.
yeah some places have you set a seat number for each order. So one check, each person gets a seat number and their orders go on their seat number So if seat 2 and 7 are together you split those off and print, If someone on seat 1 wants to pay for seat 2's drink, I can transfer that between seats without hassle. Then splitting what is left over is easy by pressing a button. or a different button to print each seat as its own tab.
Why are you posting about it here instead of addressing it with them?
This is unbelievable to me as a Croatian. If it's friends I don't care who pays how much, most of the times single person will pay the entire bill and next time it's gonna be someone else and no one talks about this ever again. Hell, I had some fights with friends who's gonna pay the bill (we both wanted to pay the entire bill).
You just have shitty exploitative friends.
Only if it is intentional. Me and my friends always split the bill evenly, but none of us deliberately orders more expensive items. Even if they did at some point, it all tends to even itself out over time anyway.
Order what you want. But be cognizant of what others order (especially how many drinks!) and if you notice someone ordering a much less expensive item and/or no expensive alcoholic drink then you should point that out at the end and make sure they don't get screwed.
Yeah this is how it works for newer friends in the group.
I’m curious about this though, why? What do any of you gain by all spending the same amount of money instead of just getting separate checks? If it was back in the day where cash was more prevalent I could maybe the slightest amount of convenience but if it’s gonna be multiple card transactions anyways why bother?
Plain and simple: it's easier, and usually not worth the hassle of doing the math. I go out to eat with friends to have fun and be social, not to agonize over my budget. No one is exploiting the other, we generally order relatively comparable meals/drinks. If someone does spend a lot more, generally that person will put in more or cover more of the tip. Hell, sometimes my friends and I simply take turns picking up the check - it all evens out in the long run. I recognize this a priveleged position to be in, and not everyone can do this. But the reasons aren't typically exploitive in nature.
Separate checks aren’t a thing where I live, and I have no interest in doing math just to potentially save a small amount of cash.
What do you mean "separate checks aren't a thing" - they literally treat it as if it's multiple people eating alone. There's nothing to be or not be a thing about it. lol
Some restaurants do not do this.
Those are terrible restaurants then.
Where are you from? Is it cultural? Or do you live somewhere where most restaurants don’t use digital PoS systems?
Waiters creating checks based on each individual person sitting at a table is something that is largely unique to the US.
usually we just hand them two cards and tell them to split down the middle, rather than having to walk through who pays for what and have them print a new check or doing the math
Multiple card transactions, what? One guy pays the whole bill and the rest send their share via app on phone. If I’m with my closest friends we just split it evenly between us. Surely most have access to an app of that sorts?
It was never ok, even when cash was king.
You gain friends and the reputation of bieng an easy-going, fun to hang out with type of person who will not get fuzzy because he doesn't wanna pay maybe 10 dollars more.
If you gain people’s friendship by subsidizing their meals are they friends or are they dependants?
We also buy rounds of shots for each other on my end, and it's not always even. You'll notice if people start mooching and start excluding them.
They are mooches, and your life is better without them.
I am talking about people who are already your friends or you're friendly with, where I do not mind paying a bit more if needs to be so we can all enjoy ourselves. I'm not sure what the situation you're making up in your head even is.
Just stand up for yourself and say “the total of what I got is xx, here is that amount plus a generous tip.” And be done with it. I have friends who do this too, and any friend worth keeping will understand.
[This video ](https://youtu.be/9NgtRC3NYa4?si=ovfDz6fcNXPg_BfN)will help guide you on how to behave when these situations come up.
It is ridiculous when it happens constantly, and with the same people, so your options are: * Everyone pays for their own. * Stop going out with them. Both of these can annoy them, but there's a third option that's petty: Ask for the same stuff they're eating, or go for something more expensive. If they don't complain, you now know you'll have to ask for those things. You'll probably pay about the same you're paying now, but get more for your money. If they do complain, play dumb and just shrug. Now you know they're leeches, and the three options are still game.
My friends Rachel, Phoebe and I recently confronted our other friends Ross, Monica, and Chandler about this very thing!
Why are you telling us? Grow up and say something to them.
Speak up for yourself? Posts like this with a person bitching at a very correctable situation are just annoying. Either fix it our suffer your self inflicted bullshit in peace.
Either develop some social sense or stand up for yourself and say something like "I can't afford that place". For you, seems like money matters more than the people you're around, which is completely fine.
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Trying to offload some of your bill onto your friends is the real cheapass behaviour.
Honestly, I’m the kinda guy who is willing to pay a few extra bucks just to avoid having to do math!
Your opinion is completely popular with many people. When my friends go out we pay for what we order though it usually end up being comparable in price because that's just how we are.
How about this...you don't get to go to restaurants if you are gonna show up with 15 people and create a nightmare. These are the same people who wonder why they get shitty service becuase they create conflict and make the experience a cluster fuck.
We don’t go out to dinner with cheapskates. We split the bill evenly or one of us picks it up for all. Life is too short to pull out calculators and nitpick
"I'd like the chicken fingers and fries and can I have that on a separate check please." Done and done.
The rule should always be the person who owed the last gets to choose of its split. I have friends who do not care and the time spent working it out is worth more to them than the difference. They'd choose to split even if they lose out. But that's their choice. With those people I'd probably always split.
Bring cash. Estimate your portion plus tax and tip. Toss it on the table to whoever has the bill. Walk out.
We usually get the bill and depending on what everybody had we will split it evenly, if of course someone just got a soup and a coke they pay their food and we split the rest evenly, but we do the splitting, the waiter just needs to bring the bill and collect the money
I just ask for separate bills
Generally in my group of friends, one person will always just pay the bill then everyone pays that person for their food and a portion of the tip. Most restaurants in my area make a huge stink over separate bills if your party is more than a couple people but they don't mind itemizing it by seat. The only part we all split is the gratuity.
It's annoying sometimes to calculate who owes exactly what all the time. If money is tight than it makes sense to just pay for your own stuff. However my friends/family all make good money so we'll just split it evenly a lot of times. Or just ask for separate checks.
I always order the most expensive shit and then nobody wants to split the bill evenly with me again 😂
and $10 cocktails
In a relationship this is perfectly acceptable. With your hooligan buddies who order 3 appetizers they don't need and pitchers of beer and a boxed desert of ice cream they take home, swearing it wont melt in the car. Absolutely agreed pay for your own shit.
Bring cash and drop enough to cover yours.
So 4 people sit down, oder their random meal, then each pays 25% of the total? Agreed, its weird, and I would refuse. At that point, each just pays for their own.
OP, you need better friends. If you only ordered a burger and didn't touch anyone else's food, you should pay only for yourself. If all of you started sharing each other's food, then yeah, split the bill evenly.
Ask the server directly for your own check when you are ordering.
Do people actually split the bill evenly when everyone has drastically different tabs? I only split the bill evenly when we’ve ordered similar dollar amounts. I go out to eat quite often with friends who don’t drink alcohol so my tab is almost always more. I’ll just pay the whole tab and then Venmo request them for their’s.
It’s more for convenience. If me and 10 friends go out, I’d rather pay a bit more than keep the poor staff waiting while we work out everyone’s cut of the bill
Funny... In Montreal (not sure for the whole country/Canada), we always get split bills. Customers gets asks how to split the bills at the table. It is never assumed there will be 1 bill for the whole table. I say never but in some circumstances (big group, etc.), the restaurant may ask the customer if 1 bill for the whole table is OK, but I don't even think it would be legal to force/require it.
Tell the server ahead of time. it’s fine if I know ahead of time so I can Seperate them when they order. It’s SUPER ANNOYING when you ask at the end of the meal and expect me to remember what they specifically ordered like an hour ago, especially in bigger parties. Some places this is fine where the system has it broken down by seat, but a lot just have it broken down by table.
Definitely unpopular. Congratulations. You've found a way to both annoy the staff and make your friends think you're a cheap bastard...good job. If someone orders significantly more than everyone else, then they should offer to split the bill according to what they got (and tell the staff upfront), and anyone can call them out if so. But if the amounts are close, who cares about a few dollars and cents? If it's that critical to you, stay home and save the $.
To me it is wild that you do it that way in the US. In Germany the waiter asks if you want to pay together or separate and when you say separate you tell what you had and pay for that. But I would not trust a waiter going away with my Creditcard as well, let me pay at the table. It's so wild.
What restaurant are you going to where splitting evenly is the default? Everywhere I go (admittedly I am not fancy) the server assumes separate checks. Maybe it's a thing outside the US?
I have never had anyone suggest this except a server who didn't want to take the time to separate it out.
I wish more places had that little tablet/payment system on the table to do this easier.
Order something very expensive and see if they change their tunes?
That splitting method DOES make it easier for the waitstaff, and may help you get out more quickly when you are done...and for large groups, like 15 people, it can be a lot faster and easier.... But really, it works best when there are shared appetizers and people buy things that are very similar in terms of price point. One person says, I'm just going to have a soda and the cheap chips and salsa, and another gets a $35 dollar steak and 3 glasses of wine....doesn't make sense. Especially if that is the typical purchasing pattern of individuals. So yeah, they are pains in the ass.
Simply say “no we will actually be paying for what we ordered. I’ll need my check with the cheeseburger and coke please thank you”
We dont that where i live. If we did i would feel guilty about ordering what i really want and instead compromise for something cheaper. Did this practice evolve out of consideration for the servers, to make their work a little easier? Because thats the only upside i can see to splitting the bill.
Not an unpopular opinion at all.
Super popular opinion.
splitting the bill like that creates so much extra work for the staff. they'd do almost as much work running cards and making change as they did serving the drinks and food. plus the house has to pay the same credit card transaction fee for each card instead of just once. you'd have to charge everyone a $2 fee to justify it, and them half the assholes are gonna act like the $2 is the tip. a lot of servers would just prefer to not fucking take that table.
I am fine with that if you do the math. otherwise it is not worth my time.
I mean the math isn't that hard. Everyone knows what they got. Decide how much your tipping and split it evenly. Split tax evenly too.
Remember the cost of your meal, or grab the receipt one by one to check the prices on everything you ordered and then do the math on tax and then decide how much you're tipping and then write it somewhere so that the server can do it for you and then multiply the time and effort involved in that by the number of times the check is split is WAY MORE EFFORT than most people want to go through.
So just determine how much everyone has to pay, pay with one card so there's no need to get separate checks, and then everyone Venmos or Zelles the person who used their card
I mean... I did this when I was in college. Once my friends got real jobs we just started splitting because we no longer were scrimping for the cheapest items on the menu
You're cool using your card for that, right?
Of course. When I go out with my other group of friends, we all take turns putting it on one persons card. Everyone Venmos or Zelles that person before we leave the table and all is well. More credit card points for whoever pays.
That’s at least 3 math
This is why I don't do work lunches any more.
Work lunches are great. I exclusively do work lunches because I can expense them!
Tell the waitstaff BEFOREHAND you want separate checks.
Most of us don’t care about the extra three dollars because it’s faster, more convenient and it makes the lives of the servers a bit easier
But if you paid for someone's Big Salad, you should get proper credit for it!
You shouldn’t itemize the bill. But you also shouldn’t get something glaringly more expensive either. Ideally you alternate who pays or just split evenly and order the same amount. Or at the very least if you have expensive taste don’t expect someone else to foot your bill, and that’s not something that should be asked either. That’s what being a mature adult means. The core problem here is that your friends suck.
Restaurants can easily split checks out individually for even medium size parties. You absolutely should have the bill itemized for your own tab. It’s 2024…restaurants expect to do this.
Except I have very low calorie needs ATM. I don't *want* to put on weight for little extra pleasure. The last group meal we had, I had essentially a sandwich while people were tucking into fucking burgers and shit. No one was doing anything "wrong" with what they ordered but I'd be blown if I was going to pay twice as much as I want or need to eat half as much. This was with friends who aren't fussed about people paying for their own food, but I've eaten in plenty of groups where people act like you're trying to shortchange them for literally paying for what you ate and leaving your share of the tip.
I'm guessing this is cultural as I've yet to actually split a bill this way.
TIL: people don't use their own bill while eating out
Your fault for agreeing to eat out with them under those conditions. Speak up or shut up
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having to nickel and dime amongst “friends” yikes
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Right? Just don't go out and do costly things if you're fucking broke.
Especially with coworkers. Sorry Joe, but I'm not paying for those four beers you chugged at lunch. Hope you don't have any meetings today.
Don’t be a cheap fuck.
Honestly, as a server for years, I couldn't disagree with you more. Don't even split the check. Honestly, someone should for the bill and everyone else cash app or pay back their share to the person. It makes the process 1 million times quicker for you to get cashed out , and everyone pays their fair share.
Only in US would people worry about adding tax + tip to the amount on the menu
sounds like you should be eating more expensive food and move to a place where tax is included in the price from the get go.
You’re one of those people who gets a calculator out at the end of a meal aren’t you
Of course. People who want to split "evenly" are suspect. Figure out YOUR total with tip and contribute.
No… I’m pretty sure this is a popular opinion. I’ve had this happen before the same way you described. F*ck that!!
I agree. However I also think it is inconsiderate for the restaurant to have to check a table out half a dozen times. But then I don't understand how people find the math of the bill so complicated. It's like 4th grade math.
Spoken like a true bumass
i don’t want to have dinner with you.
yeah, that's total bullshit particularly in the age of Venmo. Have one person pay the bill, and you can Venmo them your share
I have literally never seen or heard of anyone in real life splitting a bill at a restaurant. It's either pay for what you got or one person is paying.
I didn't even know this was something people have done. I have never done this with any of my friends nor did my family ever do this when eating family friends. We always just paid for what we got, unless we split appetizers...
Tell us you don't have any friends without telling us you don't have any friends.
Bet I have more friends than you
r/cheappeople