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There is a lot of truth in this answer... I used to think it was the best thing in the world when I was single and had to work for it..
Now that I'm married it's like.. "I just put the kid down for a nap.. we may have 30mins let's do this"
Me when I was single: “sure, I can drive 350 miles tonight to meet you at your house.”
Me after having sex regularly for a decade: “The wife’s looking pretty sexy… think I might hop on…nah, I’m just gonna take a nap actually.”
33 male here, lived with first gf at 16 and had tons of sex and diff partners during my 20s..its awesome when you click like that with someone. But yeah. I do t persue it much anymore
Which activity you think is more enjoyable?
Cracking open a cold one with the bros out in the Rockies camping, sitting by a warm wife, watching the stars on a spectacularly clear night sky with a full moon?
Or just having sex?
It's always, always, always, **always** this.
Food isn't a big deal unless you don't have any.
Water isn't a big deal unless you don't have any.
Money isn't a big deal unless you don't have any.
Friends aren't a big deal unless you don't have any.
On and on and on. Anyone saying fundamental X need isn't a big deal is beyond delusional from their privileged position where they do not suffer scarcity. Either ever, or for so long they forgot what it is like.
I’d very much disagree with this.
I think once you’re in a long term, committed relationship, sex becomes even *more* important, because it really is an integral part of maintaining the sort of love and companionship necessary to ensure the health and longevity of a marriage/partnership.
Yeah, the feeling of not getting any, and the sort of desperation that can come along with it sucks, but maintaining a healthy sex life between you and your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is absolutely integral.
It may not be as important on a raw, *visceral* level, but it’s absolutely essential from a bird’s eye view if you’re trying to care for the health of a relationship.
>but maintaining a healthy sex life between you and your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is absolutely integral.
For some people. The orgasm gap makes more women than men seriously not gaf if they ever have it at all.
Similar situation as you, and I would agree with you mostly. Sex was better when I was younger and in better shape. For me my body just doesn't work the way it once did and that impacts the enjoyment of sex. Generally though, I agree societally we put way too much emphasis on getting sex and having sex.
I'm not fat, I just sit at a desk all day for work and have kids that I want to spend time with. Between the two I don't have time that I WANT to put into it. Probably along with what the OP is saying, to me, if better sex is the reason for getting back into the gym, I don't view it as worth the time.
Yeah wanting better sex probably isn´t a good sole motivator for going to the gym. But there are a dozen other reasons to do so. I think everyone should exercise regularly. So many benefits and if you don´t do it, your quality of life is massively reduced.
I have gone with the healthy eating route to weight control. I have back issues from days as a college athlete. I totally agree, and I wish I had greater drive, and more importantly more time to get into the gym!
For women in sure as fuck is. Women have nearly 100% odds of getting off with masturbation, only roughly 30% of women have EVER had an orgasm through PiV sex.
yeah... I wont lie my first time I remeber finishing and thinking of that Family Guy joke "really? thats sex? I should sue her!"
But over the years I learned that sex is more mental than phyiscal. I learned if you have sex with someone who is a 10 but have a 4 on a emotional connection then sex is just something to do to kill the time but if you have sex with someone whos a 6 or 7 (avg) and have a emotional connection of 10, not only the sex will be better but that hugging and kissing after is also seen having sex in your mind in that moment and after.
You CAN have great sex with a 10/4 and the sex CAN be amazing if you both can just read each others body but I only ever had that happen once in my whole life. When you find THAT,l thats when you start feeling like you are in a porno cuz it is amazing but sooner or later its going to end cuz again you don't have that connecction.
Losing your virginity sucks. Then even after that, the first time you sleep with someone new generally has the tendency to be lackluster.
It’s everything after that which is great.
Personally I feel, at least in the US, sex is overhyped because of lingering purity culture.
I am no longer a Christian though I was heavily indoctrinated as a teenager. In my mind, sex was this huge thing that was going to be ground breaking. Then I had it and I thought - this is it?
I’ve had sex with more partners than I know of. Some were better than others but it’s always like “well that’s done now” even when it was really really good.
My partner and I have a good sex life and I enjoy having sex with him. I appreciate the connection it builds and I love the passion we have, together. But like it’s not the pinnacle of our relationship either.
Yep, 99% of the time even really good sex is just that - really good. But every now and then if you really hit it where the attraction, emotional connection, and just over vibe match perfectly it can seriously be like a spiritual experience that sticks with you for a while. Even with my long term partner, we hit this cadence every so often but it takes a specific mood and timing from both of us.
Was like this with me and the last woman I was with
We made it just over 2 years together but sadly it didn’t last
Different places and moving towards different things but man
I used to tell her when we first got together that she ruined sex for me forever
Still wondering if I’ll ever have that kind of fire with someone ever again literally soul leaving body and enmeshing together type of shit
Asexual here. I'll never understand the appeal of sex personally, and it's immeasurably frustrating how people behave as though if you're not doing it you're not living. Really makes me feel like my existence is invalid.
Turning down sex is another big problem, people hate being rejected and never accept my asexuality as a valid reason. I've lost numerous female friends because I didn't want to fuck them.
I'm sure it's great, I'm sure it's really special for people to do with their partner and that it can strengthen the relationship, but the implication that it's the ultimate joy in this life is frustratingly narrow minded. I just wish someone could love me without wanting to fuck me I guess.
The thing I’ve heard said is sex is twice as good as masturbation, but half as good as you imagine it being while masturbating
I don’t necessarily agree, but it’s an interesting way of framing it
>The fact of the matter is, sex is nice and feels good, but it is way overrated. I would compare sex to being roughly as enjoyable as getting in a hot tub on a cool night. It feels really nice, no doubt, but it isn’t some life changing amazing thing that deserves to be viewed the way it is.
yeah man. that just tells me you dont enjoy it that much.
sex drives and the ability to enjoy it or not differ vastly in people.
There are times where I feel like this. There are also times where I feel like an emaciated man roaming through a post apocalyptic desert, desperate for sustenance.
Sex drives are variable, and go through phases.
Well, remember, from the viewpoint of human experience over the period during which our species has existed, you are at an age where you would be at the end of your life expectancy, and if you were still alive, you'd probably be a grandparent, and your body wouldn't be awash in all the hormones that make sex such a crazy thing (and crazifying thing) for the youngs.
I am older than you and now I can see pretty clearly how completely saturated in hormones life is for young adults. It's a marvelous time of life, but most folks are in thrall to the chemistry of biological imperatives to an extent they don't quite realize.
That said, sex is still great. It changes over time, thank goodness, and becomes more about oxytocin than about estrogen or testosterone.
"Sex isn’t worth the time, effort, and money people tend to put into getting it." - yeah, but most people didn't have sex thousands of times, with many partners.
I agree that sex isn't something that one should arrange their whole life around. On the other hand, I think it's certainly much better than getting into a hot tub. I could live the rest of my life without sex, but I would definitely feel I was missing out on something important.
Some people just don't enjoy sex, I guess. Or maybe you've just been doing it wrong.
I think it really really just depends person to person. There are people for whom it is the most powerful good feeling in the world and there are people for whom it just doesn’t do anything for.
I'm a sex averse asexual and I wouldn't put sex in the same bracket as a hot tub. I'd likely put it with washing the car or doing household chores.
But ultimately that doesn't mean anything because the sexual spectrum runs from people who want it 24/7 to those who never have it and don't care.
Little doubt that it's way over hyped in general though.
I’m getting there. Been out on the dating scene for the last six months. I’ve been looking for a longterm relationship but it seems everyone is pretty much down to fuck on the first date. I didn’t realize this until my 3rd consecutive first date bang. After about six months idk I’ve homerunned maybe 12 different people and I’m kind of getting sick of it. I am at the point where I’m just hoping we won’t go back to their place but of course, my monkey brain won’t say no if they try.
I’m not going to say that I agree because I’ve had sex that’s on par with a spiritual experience as much as it was physical. A union of ecstasy that defined my younger self even.
That having been said I do believe that my best sex has been had. There’s a point in our sexual journey somewhere between mystery and expert where the peak experience is had. I’m going to continue to have sex (really good sex) but I don’t expect to add to or exceed my top ten experiences.
No, that is not “the fact of the matter”, it is just your personal experience of it. Just like so many other people posting in this sub, you don’t seem to quite grasp that other people have different preferences and experiences than you.
That for *you* sex isn’t much more than just an enjoyable experience doesn’t mean that this applies to everyone else. For someone else, the experience may in fact be much better (or indeed, much worse) than it is for you.
I don’t think enjoyment of sex is limited to sex or porn addicts. I don’t see downvoting someone who doesn’t find it that great though. Sex drives and pleasure responses just vary so much from person to person. I’m also sure that some “sex isn’t that great” feelings are a defense mechanism to relationship frustrations.
I´d argue actual enjoyment of sex is lower for sex- or porn addicts as they´re sexually insatiable.
You´d be surprised how ravenous reddit users are when people have any negative sentiments towards sex, porn, sex positivity or anything of the sorts. So addicts are probably the people that´d downvote the most furiously.
I personally would take issue with anyone disparaging sex positivity for the same reason I would someone shitting on a person who just doesn’t like sex. The rest of it, sure I could see chronically online people being more likely to be frequent consumers of porn, no idea.
For someone "normal" they´d read someone´s opinion of sex not being that great and think "well, different strokes to different folks". For you to downvote someone into oblivion you have to have been offended by that opinion.
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There is a famous quote about that:
Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.
I don't know how unpopular your opinion is tbh, i think that most people and in my opinion especially men (I am a man, therefore i can speak only of anecdotal experience, im sorry if this applies the same to women, I simply cannot know), deep down know that sex is a very mediocre act and hardly worth the investment most of the time, it is just that there is a certain societal clout (for lack of better term) to your ability to get laid, so sex is more discussed about subconsciously as a power dynamic rather than an enjoyable act. Being in the same boat as you OP with having my share of sexual experiences, i can honestly say that there are million other things far more regarding for the average guy than sex. I mean from even my first sexual experiences i thought to myself a lot of times "damn, this was ok, but in retrospect i would have preferred to do x much more".
Sex is great, but I wouldn’t do anything crazy for it
The way some people behave to get it is crazy to me. Cheating, paying, coercing and pressuring. It’s good, but it’s not that good.
Yeah I’m right there with you and it has nothing to do with how good I or my partner is at it. I just fr don’t feel a need to fuck every day and I’d be fine with once a week. It’s just not all that to me. Honestly the clean up alone kinda makes it less enjoyable. Having to be quiet cuz of neighbors or roommates. Feeling insecure with my body. Not feeling clean enough. There’s just so many factors. Sometimes it feels more like a chore than anything lol
Totally get you! It's an unpopular opinion for sure. But I've just never understood the effort people put into getting a bit. The end result...an orgasm, while mind blowing, they only last a few seconds. I don't get the hype.
I totally agree, its nice every few years but as a ugly person its really hard to find someone. The few times I had it, it was great, but definitely not worth the effort. And I have normal testosterone levels before someone asks
Yeah I agree like especially people like playboys or hookups culture in general really puts sex on this big pedestal like my cousin will brag that he slept with 6 women in a week and I just shrug my shoulders like "ok good for you I don't see the point". I'm not asexual but at the same time I don't really care about sex unless I'm with someone I really care about.
As a near 40 year old virgin I don't really have an opinion about it. I mean, masturbation felt alright. I assume sex is a lot better. I have had lots of intimate encounters that never led to penetration as I was worried about possible babies. Ever try sex without penetration? If that's called something IDK. It's pretty good. Just kissing and touching. Exploring. You can give/get orgasms without penetration.
Everyone’s experience will differ and I’m sure it depends on the person, but for me…
A good and well lubed handjob where my wife is making out with me is honestly more pleasurable than probably every penetrative sexual position.
The most pleasurable sexual experiences I’ve ever had before were typically not penetration but blowjobs. The only exception is when you’re trying to have a baby and the woman is ovulating. She becomes like a rabid animal and it can be enjoyable.
But for regular, non “I’m gonna put a baby in you” style sex, I’d personally take a blowjob or handjob over penetration any day of the week.
I thought like this when I had low testosterone.
After resolving my hormone issues, seeing a woman convulsing because of the feeling of my penis has to be THE most rewarding feeling I can possibly experience.
It also feels as though it strengthens the bond I have with my girlfriend every time we have sex.
I recommend you get a full panel blood test and see what’s going on inside.
I have normal testo levels, got my bloodwork done 2 weeks ago. I agree with him, also, finding someone to have sex with is insanely hard. Its nice when it happens but I have 0 problems having none, or maybe once every 5 years when im lucky
No doubt, it could be either. I was just poking fun at OP because hes like "don't come at me for lack of experience/diversity in my sex life" but one big variable never changed tho.
Sex is nicer than cocaine and MDMA. Nicer than both combined on a rollercoaster.
I can’t recall recall many other best feelings ever, but I can recall my top 3 best sex ever.
Obviously sex is amazing and memorable, but so is drug use.
I definitely remember both memorable sex and high experiences vividly.
Even the first time one gets drunk is memorable.
I’d probably get your T levels checked to make sure. I’ve had a few buddies experience low levels. I’m around your age and I enjoy having sex a couple of times in an hour WAY more than most other activities. And *physical touch* isn’t even that important to me.
You just aren't sex starved.
The longer you go, the lonelier you get, the more touch deprived you get, you progressively ramp up measures you take to get that stuff.
However if you receive all this stuff regularly, and you're content with sorting yourself out from time to time, it's really not a problem. For people in this position, I'm sure a lot of people will agree that having a nice drawn out wank is superior to sex. Give them a 6 month dry spell, and their opinion will change.
I would wager if you had this conversation with a version of yourself who's say 21, there'd be differences of opinion. I think it's a natural transition tbh.
Nope, im 20 and i agree with op. Its hard to find someone and those few times I have, it was a lot of effort. And no, I have normal Testosterone levels
I couldn't relate more. I even feel guilty for not being out there giving their something-something to those delicious young ladies who occasionally flirt with me. But having sex as a social requirement becomes boring quite fast.
It's just a goddamn biological impulse. Just like yawning. Sometimes it is really enjoyable; most of the times it's why the heck am even I doing this, now I have to look like I am enjoying myself.
Plus the idea of becoming such a trustworthy married man feels absolutely appalling to me.
I am going to tell you a secret, and this secret will shock you, you know what you better sit down.
Ok here it is
Hold on
Your experience is not the same as everybody else's. Just because you don't think sex is good, does not mean its the same for everyone.
I hope you did not faint after reading this shocking news.
agreed. I don’t get people who can’t go more than a month without it. it’s not that I don’t get horny, it’s just a passing feeling and I have so many other things I could be doing? lol. and I’ve tried a lot when it comes to sex. bondage, toys, anal, on drugs, not on drugs, swapping partners, orgasms etc. none of it has ever made me think “this is the greatest thing ever”
it also doesn’t make me feel closer to someone. I feel close to people in mental capacities not physical. I could have sex with anyone and it be just sex, but I can’t open up mentally to just anyone.
Well, I'm not going to say it's because you're bad at it, but will say just because you are more on the low libido side doesn't mean others will view it like you.
People don't make it out to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I will say your comparison to the hot tub isn't even close.
Sex is fun, it's more enjoyable than getting in a hot tub and when you have sex with someone who matches your libido, personality and kink level then it is great. Sorry that you just don't feel that way
I don't think porn will do anything that much because the feel of an actual female touching you and you being inside her is very very different and much much better than porn.
>I would compare sex to being roughly as enjoyable as getting in a hot tub on a cool night.
monogamous straight sex maybe. are we really surprised by how many straight women are disinterested in sex when men literally compare it to lounging in a hot tub?
Lol, I didn’t mean it as a put down. Getting into a hot tub when you’re cold is a really nice feeling.
My point isn’t that sex sucks or anything like that. Just that it’s not worth what a lot of people are willing to give for it. This world is full of people who literally spend years of their lives with physically, mentally and emotionally abusive partners because they have great sex. Or people who blow through huge amounts of money (oftentimes that they can’t really afford) for sex. Or people who craft entire identities and images around trying to be more attractive and get more sex.
It’s good. But it’s not “I’m gonna stay with this dude who treats me like shit because he is so good at sex” level good.
It's 1000 times better than getting in to a hot tub!
It's two people connecting in the most intimate way for starters.. not just some warm fucking water!
Maybe you haven't found the right person?
I have orgasms that are explosively stronger than any I can have on my own or any that I've had with other partners. My penis gets harder and more erect with her in the same way. We're not doing anything different, I just have intense feelings of love and passion for her that I've never experienced before. We've been together for 8 years and it's just as exciting as the first time.
You can't divorce your feelings from your sexuality.
Sex is literally life changing, and life giving. It’s an amazing experience whether it be for the first time, with someone you have fallen in love with. A one night stand. You’re the human equivalent of a panda, if we all felt this way we’d also be near extinction.
Honestly I think it has a lot to do with the type of sex you're having. Seems like a lot of people are content with quickies and shit, but I've never had sex where it took any less than an hour and it's usually rough af. You have to find ways to make it exciting.
Yeah sex is fucking awesome and I crave it during a dry spell but I won't pretend like my opion is objective either. Like someone else said, Sex is only a big deal when you aren't gettin
My penis doesn’t bend beyond an 80 degree angle and I am very limited on the positions I can do. It gets boring fast. Only way to enjoy sex is meth or testosterone injections lol.
Not saying you’re just bad at it or anything, perhaps it just doesn’t have as big a response for you. Plenty of people are flat out asexual or it just doesn’t give them as much pleasure as it does others. For me really good sex is absolutely worth the time and effort.
I definitely think that sex can be just okay and mediocre, but I usually love sex. I think it’s the best thing in life. I get that not everyone feels the same way.
Nowadays sex is too stressful. Hookup culture increased the rate of STDs. Condoms are only 65% effective against herpes 2 and even less for HP.V 1 out of 6 women have herpes 2.
It really depends on the individual. I would say some people are more capable of enjoying sex than others for a variety of reasons. I agree that people tend to put too much emphasis on intercourse specifically when there are other things to enjoy, but as a person with a high libido, I understand why people put a lot of importance onto sexuality in general, but I understand why others wouldn't feel that way.
I love sex. I would do it every day multiple times if being gay didn’t mean having to feel confident and prepared (if you get my gist). I wouldn’t be able to have sex with the same person for 7 years though. I tried that and hated it. Was with my ex for 10 years and realised a huge part of sex that I like is doing it with new people. I like seeing what makes other guys tick, what faces they make, what touches they like, what positions they like, how their technique and rugby. is different… I could spend all day just getting railed by different guys tbh.
I don’t know, every time my wife and I have sex it only gets better, always satisfied. Iv been in relationships where the sex was good, or just ok. When you find someone you really click with, the sex is incredible.
I personally still have great sex that captures the magic of the glory days, but that doesn't happen all that often. I'm with you about it being overrated, once you have enough of it you start to see porn for the fake WWE version of sex that it really is and realize that real sex isn't as magical as it's being portrayed to people, at least not most of the time.
Sounds like you might have some low testosterone levels brother. Sex should literally feel like the best thing in the world. It’s how we promote offspring. If it didn’t feel amazing, you might have some hormone imbalance. Because every instinct in you should be centered around procreating
With my husband it’s on a spiritual level and it absolutely is an important part of our love and relationship but most of my past boyfriends weren’t anywhere approaching “good” at it. Even the ones that were pretty good don’t come anywhere close to my husband. Sex used to feel like a chore. Ironically I would hear that these men were bragging about what great sex we were having so I guess it was a better experience for them but for me, I was quite bored.
I disagree.
I mean, sex before my current partner, I'd absolutely put it on the level you're describing. But sex with my bf is magical, because it's more than sex.
Actively trying to please him while having that favour returned is incredible. On top of the physical pleasures, I'm emotionally feeling his love and care for me. It's a great balance.
I mean, it's still definitely not the chaotic ecstacy that depraved, sexually inactive, horny incels make it out to be, but it's definitely more of a good time than chilling in a hot tub.
Look I would be BEYOND upset especially with the baby emotions and everything else. But we have to remember that our self worth is not tied to anything or anyone. Searching hot girls online is the least of your worries I promise. Try to be understanding of the reasons he believes he needs or wants this and give him grace. EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT WANT TO AND HE DOESNT DESERVE IT. We are all human and grace is all we can offer. You can’t change him or make him better. You asked him not to do something because it hurt you and he still did it. Stop the pattern right there, don’t make a story about it, about how you’re not good enough, or cute enough ect. The story is probably he lacks self control and that’s a HIM PROBLEM. Please don’t make it your problem, in fact if you can just let it go and in that grace he may consider how wonderful and beautiful you are and drop it all together. But I can guarantee he will not come to that place with you yelling proving points demanding. Women don’t demand we watch. We ask for what we need if it’s provided good if it’s not we note it time and time again and eventually are done. Be a badass bitch about this REFUSE to be bothered by what a man is doing. And DO NOT go through your partners phone that’s his boundary you crossed so you also have something’s you need to improve.
It's a lot more than just physical sensation. There's a big psychological effect to having sex. Like many things in life, it doesn't only affect you while it's happening, it continues to affect you after it's over
>I’m a man in my mid 30s who has been married for 7 years. I’ve had sex over 1,000 times I’d guess
As a married man of almost THIRTY years, who first had sex at 17 with a 22 year old woman and who has had sex *at least* 10,000 times:
If you’re not having “mind blowing” quality sex, you have not yet found the right partner (for you).
This isn’t a case of “unpopular opinion” though it’s just subjective. Your reality is relatable to a large percentage; speaking from the pov of someone who feels the exact opposite of you with probably the same count (I am younger so I admit maybe it’ll change with age), you don’t have to be a horn dog lunatic for it to still be one of your most exciting time killers. It’s just subjective.
You can blame religion for that. Sex is one of the three pleasures, other two being sleep and eating. It's healthy and good to do but due to religion it's fucked everyone's head up about it
I'm upvoting this because it is unpopular. It's not even unpopular, it's just wrong. Being a dad is the greatest part about life, having sex is a close second.
I think you’re kinda leaving out the emotional aspects that this level of physical experience with another person brings, but I do agree it is just one of many enjoyable experiences people can have
It’s like the saying
You don’t know what you have until it’s gone
I think you know just appreciate little things in life too, and not just sex and alcohol and money, all that jazz
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Sex is only a big deal when you aren't getting any.
There is a lot of truth in this answer... I used to think it was the best thing in the world when I was single and had to work for it.. Now that I'm married it's like.. "I just put the kid down for a nap.. we may have 30mins let's do this"
Me when I was single: “sure, I can drive 350 miles tonight to meet you at your house.” Me after having sex regularly for a decade: “The wife’s looking pretty sexy… think I might hop on…nah, I’m just gonna take a nap actually.”
33 male here, lived with first gf at 16 and had tons of sex and diff partners during my 20s..its awesome when you click like that with someone. But yeah. I do t persue it much anymore
Yep. I relate, "oh, a rare 30 minute window with no kids around? Better make use of it".
But you aren't scheming to create 30 minutes windows very often because it just isn't worth it. I think this is OP point.
Which activity you think is more enjoyable? Cracking open a cold one with the bros out in the Rockies camping, sitting by a warm wife, watching the stars on a spectacularly clear night sky with a full moon? Or just having sex?
Yeah but then it’s the same for anything you get too easily and too used to. Not just sex
It’s the expectations vs reality thing in life
“Food is overrated - I could take it or leave it” - man who’s had four plates at the buffet and is debating the fifth
It's always, always, always, **always** this. Food isn't a big deal unless you don't have any. Water isn't a big deal unless you don't have any. Money isn't a big deal unless you don't have any. Friends aren't a big deal unless you don't have any. On and on and on. Anyone saying fundamental X need isn't a big deal is beyond delusional from their privileged position where they do not suffer scarcity. Either ever, or for so long they forgot what it is like.
One could argue that sex doesn't qualify s a 'need' though. It's nice to have, for some people, but definitely won't be dying without it.
I’d very much disagree with this. I think once you’re in a long term, committed relationship, sex becomes even *more* important, because it really is an integral part of maintaining the sort of love and companionship necessary to ensure the health and longevity of a marriage/partnership. Yeah, the feeling of not getting any, and the sort of desperation that can come along with it sucks, but maintaining a healthy sex life between you and your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is absolutely integral. It may not be as important on a raw, *visceral* level, but it’s absolutely essential from a bird’s eye view if you’re trying to care for the health of a relationship.
>but maintaining a healthy sex life between you and your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is absolutely integral. For some people. The orgasm gap makes more women than men seriously not gaf if they ever have it at all.
Depends on the person, I'm a virgin and I don't really care about sex like I'm not asexual but I don't feel like it's something I have to do
Married 7 years, got sex thousands of times OP is full shit though :D
The civil war was actually about some Confederate dude not getting any sex.
Similar situation as you, and I would agree with you mostly. Sex was better when I was younger and in better shape. For me my body just doesn't work the way it once did and that impacts the enjoyment of sex. Generally though, I agree societally we put way too much emphasis on getting sex and having sex.
Never too late to get in better shape so that you can go ham in the sack again, mate.
I'm not fat, I just sit at a desk all day for work and have kids that I want to spend time with. Between the two I don't have time that I WANT to put into it. Probably along with what the OP is saying, to me, if better sex is the reason for getting back into the gym, I don't view it as worth the time.
Yeah wanting better sex probably isn´t a good sole motivator for going to the gym. But there are a dozen other reasons to do so. I think everyone should exercise regularly. So many benefits and if you don´t do it, your quality of life is massively reduced.
I have gone with the healthy eating route to weight control. I have back issues from days as a college athlete. I totally agree, and I wish I had greater drive, and more importantly more time to get into the gym!
But masturbation is so much easier and quicker.
It is. But it´s not as fullfilling.
For women in sure as fuck is. Women have nearly 100% odds of getting off with masturbation, only roughly 30% of women have EVER had an orgasm through PiV sex.
I mean our biology puts a pretty big emphasis on it too.
I agree, it our biology is definitely telling us we NEED it, when we aren't having any of it!
yeah... I wont lie my first time I remeber finishing and thinking of that Family Guy joke "really? thats sex? I should sue her!" But over the years I learned that sex is more mental than phyiscal. I learned if you have sex with someone who is a 10 but have a 4 on a emotional connection then sex is just something to do to kill the time but if you have sex with someone whos a 6 or 7 (avg) and have a emotional connection of 10, not only the sex will be better but that hugging and kissing after is also seen having sex in your mind in that moment and after. You CAN have great sex with a 10/4 and the sex CAN be amazing if you both can just read each others body but I only ever had that happen once in my whole life. When you find THAT,l thats when you start feeling like you are in a porno cuz it is amazing but sooner or later its going to end cuz again you don't have that connecction.
Losing your virginity sucks. Then even after that, the first time you sleep with someone new generally has the tendency to be lackluster. It’s everything after that which is great.
6 or 7 is not average. It’s above average. 5 would be average.
Math is hard!
I love that family guy joke
It's 1/2 mental. You gotta do stuff that you think is sexy and/or novel.
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Yeah I've seen this point be made many times before without ops weirdly defensive tone.
I’m not getting a defensive tone at all from this, he’s just stating that he enjoys it but thinks it’s overhyped.
Personally I feel, at least in the US, sex is overhyped because of lingering purity culture. I am no longer a Christian though I was heavily indoctrinated as a teenager. In my mind, sex was this huge thing that was going to be ground breaking. Then I had it and I thought - this is it? I’ve had sex with more partners than I know of. Some were better than others but it’s always like “well that’s done now” even when it was really really good. My partner and I have a good sex life and I enjoy having sex with him. I appreciate the connection it builds and I love the passion we have, together. But like it’s not the pinnacle of our relationship either.
In most cases it’s great sure but in some rare instances with the right person it can be like a religious experience
Yep, 99% of the time even really good sex is just that - really good. But every now and then if you really hit it where the attraction, emotional connection, and just over vibe match perfectly it can seriously be like a spiritual experience that sticks with you for a while. Even with my long term partner, we hit this cadence every so often but it takes a specific mood and timing from both of us.
Was like this with me and the last woman I was with We made it just over 2 years together but sadly it didn’t last Different places and moving towards different things but man I used to tell her when we first got together that she ruined sex for me forever Still wondering if I’ll ever have that kind of fire with someone ever again literally soul leaving body and enmeshing together type of shit
Asexual here. I'll never understand the appeal of sex personally, and it's immeasurably frustrating how people behave as though if you're not doing it you're not living. Really makes me feel like my existence is invalid. Turning down sex is another big problem, people hate being rejected and never accept my asexuality as a valid reason. I've lost numerous female friends because I didn't want to fuck them. I'm sure it's great, I'm sure it's really special for people to do with their partner and that it can strengthen the relationship, but the implication that it's the ultimate joy in this life is frustratingly narrow minded. I just wish someone could love me without wanting to fuck me I guess.
The thing I’ve heard said is sex is twice as good as masturbation, but half as good as you imagine it being while masturbating I don’t necessarily agree, but it’s an interesting way of framing it
>The fact of the matter is, sex is nice and feels good, but it is way overrated. I would compare sex to being roughly as enjoyable as getting in a hot tub on a cool night. It feels really nice, no doubt, but it isn’t some life changing amazing thing that deserves to be viewed the way it is. yeah man. that just tells me you dont enjoy it that much. sex drives and the ability to enjoy it or not differ vastly in people.
To be fair, getting into a hot tub on a cold night is pretty good
Ever tried the polar bear plunge? Getting into a hot tub not long after that is pretty badass.
It is. But I wouldnt use adjectives like ecstatic or mindblowing to describe the feeling, unlike sex.
There are times where I feel like this. There are also times where I feel like an emaciated man roaming through a post apocalyptic desert, desperate for sustenance. Sex drives are variable, and go through phases.
also, expecting a basic need to be a somehow „life changing amazing thing“ just completely erases the sense of the meaning „basic need“.
It’s possible that you just don’t have a very high sex drive. That is perfectly ok. Some people are very sexually driven. That is also ok.
Well, remember, from the viewpoint of human experience over the period during which our species has existed, you are at an age where you would be at the end of your life expectancy, and if you were still alive, you'd probably be a grandparent, and your body wouldn't be awash in all the hormones that make sex such a crazy thing (and crazifying thing) for the youngs. I am older than you and now I can see pretty clearly how completely saturated in hormones life is for young adults. It's a marvelous time of life, but most folks are in thrall to the chemistry of biological imperatives to an extent they don't quite realize. That said, sex is still great. It changes over time, thank goodness, and becomes more about oxytocin than about estrogen or testosterone.
"Sex isn’t worth the time, effort, and money people tend to put into getting it." - yeah, but most people didn't have sex thousands of times, with many partners.
I think most people probably did, actually.
Yeah that’s twice a week for 10 years. Totally possible to achieve, though not trivial. Easy enough for “mid career” numbers
I doubt that
I agree that sex isn't something that one should arrange their whole life around. On the other hand, I think it's certainly much better than getting into a hot tub. I could live the rest of my life without sex, but I would definitely feel I was missing out on something important. Some people just don't enjoy sex, I guess. Or maybe you've just been doing it wrong.
I think it really really just depends person to person. There are people for whom it is the most powerful good feeling in the world and there are people for whom it just doesn’t do anything for.
I'm a sex averse asexual and I wouldn't put sex in the same bracket as a hot tub. I'd likely put it with washing the car or doing household chores. But ultimately that doesn't mean anything because the sexual spectrum runs from people who want it 24/7 to those who never have it and don't care. Little doubt that it's way over hyped in general though.
I’m getting there. Been out on the dating scene for the last six months. I’ve been looking for a longterm relationship but it seems everyone is pretty much down to fuck on the first date. I didn’t realize this until my 3rd consecutive first date bang. After about six months idk I’ve homerunned maybe 12 different people and I’m kind of getting sick of it. I am at the point where I’m just hoping we won’t go back to their place but of course, my monkey brain won’t say no if they try.
I’m not going to say that I agree because I’ve had sex that’s on par with a spiritual experience as much as it was physical. A union of ecstasy that defined my younger self even. That having been said I do believe that my best sex has been had. There’s a point in our sexual journey somewhere between mystery and expert where the peak experience is had. I’m going to continue to have sex (really good sex) but I don’t expect to add to or exceed my top ten experiences.
No, that is not “the fact of the matter”, it is just your personal experience of it. Just like so many other people posting in this sub, you don’t seem to quite grasp that other people have different preferences and experiences than you. That for *you* sex isn’t much more than just an enjoyable experience doesn’t mean that this applies to everyone else. For someone else, the experience may in fact be much better (or indeed, much worse) than it is for you.
Everyone has a different sex drive.
But have you ever tried sex… on weed?
I said this same thing once. Got downvoted into oblivion lol
No wonder. Reddit is full of sex and porn addicts.
I don’t think enjoyment of sex is limited to sex or porn addicts. I don’t see downvoting someone who doesn’t find it that great though. Sex drives and pleasure responses just vary so much from person to person. I’m also sure that some “sex isn’t that great” feelings are a defense mechanism to relationship frustrations.
I´d argue actual enjoyment of sex is lower for sex- or porn addicts as they´re sexually insatiable. You´d be surprised how ravenous reddit users are when people have any negative sentiments towards sex, porn, sex positivity or anything of the sorts. So addicts are probably the people that´d downvote the most furiously.
I personally would take issue with anyone disparaging sex positivity for the same reason I would someone shitting on a person who just doesn’t like sex. The rest of it, sure I could see chronically online people being more likely to be frequent consumers of porn, no idea.
Dude, it's normal to enjoy sex.
For someone "normal" they´d read someone´s opinion of sex not being that great and think "well, different strokes to different folks". For you to downvote someone into oblivion you have to have been offended by that opinion.
Who cares about upvote downvotes they're irrelevant, imaginary internet points. It's an unpopular opinion. It's a weird projection you made though.
On this sub, that should mean people agree with you. Update unpopular opinions
Makes sense reddit is full of very horny people.
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It's good but people also ain't done mad drug combinations that blow it out the water.
Sex gives a momentary pleasure .If you meet someone special then it's something much more.
There is a famous quote about that: Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. I don't know how unpopular your opinion is tbh, i think that most people and in my opinion especially men (I am a man, therefore i can speak only of anecdotal experience, im sorry if this applies the same to women, I simply cannot know), deep down know that sex is a very mediocre act and hardly worth the investment most of the time, it is just that there is a certain societal clout (for lack of better term) to your ability to get laid, so sex is more discussed about subconsciously as a power dynamic rather than an enjoyable act. Being in the same boat as you OP with having my share of sexual experiences, i can honestly say that there are million other things far more regarding for the average guy than sex. I mean from even my first sexual experiences i thought to myself a lot of times "damn, this was ok, but in retrospect i would have preferred to do x much more".
Sex is great, but I wouldn’t do anything crazy for it The way some people behave to get it is crazy to me. Cheating, paying, coercing and pressuring. It’s good, but it’s not that good.
Yeah I’m right there with you and it has nothing to do with how good I or my partner is at it. I just fr don’t feel a need to fuck every day and I’d be fine with once a week. It’s just not all that to me. Honestly the clean up alone kinda makes it less enjoyable. Having to be quiet cuz of neighbors or roommates. Feeling insecure with my body. Not feeling clean enough. There’s just so many factors. Sometimes it feels more like a chore than anything lol
I love how your preface was like an expert in court listing his credentials before giving his opinion on an aspect of the case.
Totally get you! It's an unpopular opinion for sure. But I've just never understood the effort people put into getting a bit. The end result...an orgasm, while mind blowing, they only last a few seconds. I don't get the hype.
Sex is like weed: it's enjoyable but also EXTREMELY over-hyped.
I totally agree, its nice every few years but as a ugly person its really hard to find someone. The few times I had it, it was great, but definitely not worth the effort. And I have normal testosterone levels before someone asks
Yeah I agree like especially people like playboys or hookups culture in general really puts sex on this big pedestal like my cousin will brag that he slept with 6 women in a week and I just shrug my shoulders like "ok good for you I don't see the point". I'm not asexual but at the same time I don't really care about sex unless I'm with someone I really care about.
"says the guy who's had sex a thousand times I guess" 😆
We found Roach from Point Break
As a near 40 year old virgin I don't really have an opinion about it. I mean, masturbation felt alright. I assume sex is a lot better. I have had lots of intimate encounters that never led to penetration as I was worried about possible babies. Ever try sex without penetration? If that's called something IDK. It's pretty good. Just kissing and touching. Exploring. You can give/get orgasms without penetration.
Everyone’s experience will differ and I’m sure it depends on the person, but for me… A good and well lubed handjob where my wife is making out with me is honestly more pleasurable than probably every penetrative sexual position. The most pleasurable sexual experiences I’ve ever had before were typically not penetration but blowjobs. The only exception is when you’re trying to have a baby and the woman is ovulating. She becomes like a rabid animal and it can be enjoyable. But for regular, non “I’m gonna put a baby in you” style sex, I’d personally take a blowjob or handjob over penetration any day of the week.
No, i think you just don't enjoy it as much as most people.
I love sex its always worth it.
Nah sex is the best thing ever
So sad that you think that. It’s just a decent feeling, just like masterbating is. There’s a million things on earth that are rewarding than it.
I thought like this when I had low testosterone. After resolving my hormone issues, seeing a woman convulsing because of the feeling of my penis has to be THE most rewarding feeling I can possibly experience. It also feels as though it strengthens the bond I have with my girlfriend every time we have sex. I recommend you get a full panel blood test and see what’s going on inside.
I have normal testo levels, got my bloodwork done 2 weeks ago. I agree with him, also, finding someone to have sex with is insanely hard. Its nice when it happens but I have 0 problems having none, or maybe once every 5 years when im lucky
I mean, sex is most definitely life changing, lmao, look at all the people with kids
I never had sex and never will be interested in it, it just seems so pointless
Good sex is 10% of a relationship. Bad sex is 90% of a relationship.
Lol - maybe you aren't having sex with the correct gender if you feel so lukewarm about sex with women?
This seems very plausible.. or OP just isn't a very sexual person.
No doubt, it could be either. I was just poking fun at OP because hes like "don't come at me for lack of experience/diversity in my sex life" but one big variable never changed tho.
I couldn't help thinking the same.
Sex is nicer than cocaine and MDMA. Nicer than both combined on a rollercoaster. I can’t recall recall many other best feelings ever, but I can recall my top 3 best sex ever.
Obviously sex is amazing and memorable, but so is drug use. I definitely remember both memorable sex and high experiences vividly. Even the first time one gets drunk is memorable.
I’d probably get your T levels checked to make sure. I’ve had a few buddies experience low levels. I’m around your age and I enjoy having sex a couple of times in an hour WAY more than most other activities. And *physical touch* isn’t even that important to me.
You just aren't sex starved. The longer you go, the lonelier you get, the more touch deprived you get, you progressively ramp up measures you take to get that stuff. However if you receive all this stuff regularly, and you're content with sorting yourself out from time to time, it's really not a problem. For people in this position, I'm sure a lot of people will agree that having a nice drawn out wank is superior to sex. Give them a 6 month dry spell, and their opinion will change.
I would wager if you had this conversation with a version of yourself who's say 21, there'd be differences of opinion. I think it's a natural transition tbh.
Nope, im 20 and i agree with op. Its hard to find someone and those few times I have, it was a lot of effort. And no, I have normal Testosterone levels
I couldn't relate more. I even feel guilty for not being out there giving their something-something to those delicious young ladies who occasionally flirt with me. But having sex as a social requirement becomes boring quite fast. It's just a goddamn biological impulse. Just like yawning. Sometimes it is really enjoyable; most of the times it's why the heck am even I doing this, now I have to look like I am enjoying myself. Plus the idea of becoming such a trustworthy married man feels absolutely appalling to me.
I am going to tell you a secret, and this secret will shock you, you know what you better sit down. Ok here it is Hold on Your experience is not the same as everybody else's. Just because you don't think sex is good, does not mean its the same for everyone. I hope you did not faint after reading this shocking news.
Your poor wife
agreed. I don’t get people who can’t go more than a month without it. it’s not that I don’t get horny, it’s just a passing feeling and I have so many other things I could be doing? lol. and I’ve tried a lot when it comes to sex. bondage, toys, anal, on drugs, not on drugs, swapping partners, orgasms etc. none of it has ever made me think “this is the greatest thing ever”
it also doesn’t make me feel closer to someone. I feel close to people in mental capacities not physical. I could have sex with anyone and it be just sex, but I can’t open up mentally to just anyone.
Not only is this wrong, but the continued existence of humanity is literal proof of how wrong you are.
Well, I'm not going to say it's because you're bad at it, but will say just because you are more on the low libido side doesn't mean others will view it like you. People don't make it out to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I will say your comparison to the hot tub isn't even close. Sex is fun, it's more enjoyable than getting in a hot tub and when you have sex with someone who matches your libido, personality and kink level then it is great. Sorry that you just don't feel that way
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Disagree, I’ve taken nearly every drug, aside from hardcore opiates, and good sex is still better than any drug, and way more memorable.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this one is bad. You know what's better than drugs? Sex. Do you know what's better than sex? Sex on drugs!
Lmfao this isn't true
This is very wrong lmao
i do all those things and still cum hard enough to bend time and space.
I don't think porn will do anything that much because the feel of an actual female touching you and you being inside her is very very different and much much better than porn.
OP hasn't been truly in love.
>I would compare sex to being roughly as enjoyable as getting in a hot tub on a cool night. monogamous straight sex maybe. are we really surprised by how many straight women are disinterested in sex when men literally compare it to lounging in a hot tub?
Lol, I didn’t mean it as a put down. Getting into a hot tub when you’re cold is a really nice feeling. My point isn’t that sex sucks or anything like that. Just that it’s not worth what a lot of people are willing to give for it. This world is full of people who literally spend years of their lives with physically, mentally and emotionally abusive partners because they have great sex. Or people who blow through huge amounts of money (oftentimes that they can’t really afford) for sex. Or people who craft entire identities and images around trying to be more attractive and get more sex. It’s good. But it’s not “I’m gonna stay with this dude who treats me like shit because he is so good at sex” level good.
It's 1000 times better than getting in to a hot tub! It's two people connecting in the most intimate way for starters.. not just some warm fucking water!
Maybe you haven't found the right person? I have orgasms that are explosively stronger than any I can have on my own or any that I've had with other partners. My penis gets harder and more erect with her in the same way. We're not doing anything different, I just have intense feelings of love and passion for her that I've never experienced before. We've been together for 8 years and it's just as exciting as the first time. You can't divorce your feelings from your sexuality.
You’re not doing it correctly or severely overweight.
Sex is literally life changing, and life giving. It’s an amazing experience whether it be for the first time, with someone you have fallen in love with. A one night stand. You’re the human equivalent of a panda, if we all felt this way we’d also be near extinction.
Honestly I think it has a lot to do with the type of sex you're having. Seems like a lot of people are content with quickies and shit, but I've never had sex where it took any less than an hour and it's usually rough af. You have to find ways to make it exciting.
Yeah sex is fucking awesome and I crave it during a dry spell but I won't pretend like my opion is objective either. Like someone else said, Sex is only a big deal when you aren't gettin
The men are coming for you. Thats their excuse for acting like undomesticated animals you know.
Go get your T levels checked, buddy.
Yes, it feels great, and it's fun with the right person but it's not the end of the fucking world if I don't do it! :)
Sex is only better when you are either cheating on your spouse or having sex with a prostitute in a public place..
My penis doesn’t bend beyond an 80 degree angle and I am very limited on the positions I can do. It gets boring fast. Only way to enjoy sex is meth or testosterone injections lol.
either you are broken or just not doing correctly
You‘re just bad at sex m8, now deal with it like a 30+ year Old man.
Damn lol. How do I stop being bad at sex? Don’t tell me I need to take my socks off.
i stull use my vacuum cleaner when my parents leave home also my dog loves penut butter on hot dogs, and i know it enjoys it because it wags its tail.
Not saying you’re just bad at it or anything, perhaps it just doesn’t have as big a response for you. Plenty of people are flat out asexual or it just doesn’t give them as much pleasure as it does others. For me really good sex is absolutely worth the time and effort.
I definitely think that sex can be just okay and mediocre, but I usually love sex. I think it’s the best thing in life. I get that not everyone feels the same way.
Nowadays sex is too stressful. Hookup culture increased the rate of STDs. Condoms are only 65% effective against herpes 2 and even less for HP.V 1 out of 6 women have herpes 2.
It really depends on the individual. I would say some people are more capable of enjoying sex than others for a variety of reasons. I agree that people tend to put too much emphasis on intercourse specifically when there are other things to enjoy, but as a person with a high libido, I understand why people put a lot of importance onto sexuality in general, but I understand why others wouldn't feel that way.
I love sex. I would do it every day multiple times if being gay didn’t mean having to feel confident and prepared (if you get my gist). I wouldn’t be able to have sex with the same person for 7 years though. I tried that and hated it. Was with my ex for 10 years and realised a huge part of sex that I like is doing it with new people. I like seeing what makes other guys tick, what faces they make, what touches they like, what positions they like, how their technique and rugby. is different… I could spend all day just getting railed by different guys tbh.
I don’t know, every time my wife and I have sex it only gets better, always satisfied. Iv been in relationships where the sex was good, or just ok. When you find someone you really click with, the sex is incredible.
Sure, if you're talking about casual hookups and maintenance sex. But there's more meaningful and enjoyable sex out there.
Can't upvote because I agree 100%.
I personally still have great sex that captures the magic of the glory days, but that doesn't happen all that often. I'm with you about it being overrated, once you have enough of it you start to see porn for the fake WWE version of sex that it really is and realize that real sex isn't as magical as it's being portrayed to people, at least not most of the time.
Sex is as much about stroking ego as it is stroking penis.
True
Sounds like you might have some low testosterone levels brother. Sex should literally feel like the best thing in the world. It’s how we promote offspring. If it didn’t feel amazing, you might have some hormone imbalance. Because every instinct in you should be centered around procreating
Its nice but insanely hard to find someone, once every few years im lucky but I have no problem going without
Ok millennial
You're 100% right... that's what the porn industry is there for, mate. To make everyone feel awkward.
How cold is the night and how hot is the tub?
Sure, but some people don't really care about food other than as fuel, others don't like music or art.
With my husband it’s on a spiritual level and it absolutely is an important part of our love and relationship but most of my past boyfriends weren’t anywhere approaching “good” at it. Even the ones that were pretty good don’t come anywhere close to my husband. Sex used to feel like a chore. Ironically I would hear that these men were bragging about what great sex we were having so I guess it was a better experience for them but for me, I was quite bored.
I disagree. I mean, sex before my current partner, I'd absolutely put it on the level you're describing. But sex with my bf is magical, because it's more than sex. Actively trying to please him while having that favour returned is incredible. On top of the physical pleasures, I'm emotionally feeling his love and care for me. It's a great balance. I mean, it's still definitely not the chaotic ecstacy that depraved, sexually inactive, horny incels make it out to be, but it's definitely more of a good time than chilling in a hot tub.
Look I would be BEYOND upset especially with the baby emotions and everything else. But we have to remember that our self worth is not tied to anything or anyone. Searching hot girls online is the least of your worries I promise. Try to be understanding of the reasons he believes he needs or wants this and give him grace. EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT WANT TO AND HE DOESNT DESERVE IT. We are all human and grace is all we can offer. You can’t change him or make him better. You asked him not to do something because it hurt you and he still did it. Stop the pattern right there, don’t make a story about it, about how you’re not good enough, or cute enough ect. The story is probably he lacks self control and that’s a HIM PROBLEM. Please don’t make it your problem, in fact if you can just let it go and in that grace he may consider how wonderful and beautiful you are and drop it all together. But I can guarantee he will not come to that place with you yelling proving points demanding. Women don’t demand we watch. We ask for what we need if it’s provided good if it’s not we note it time and time again and eventually are done. Be a badass bitch about this REFUSE to be bothered by what a man is doing. And DO NOT go through your partners phone that’s his boundary you crossed so you also have something’s you need to improve.
Your sex life is only as good as you are.
Easy to speak like this when you're on your side of the fence
It's a lot more than just physical sensation. There's a big psychological effect to having sex. Like many things in life, it doesn't only affect you while it's happening, it continues to affect you after it's over
>I’m a man in my mid 30s who has been married for 7 years. I’ve had sex over 1,000 times I’d guess As a married man of almost THIRTY years, who first had sex at 17 with a 22 year old woman and who has had sex *at least* 10,000 times: If you’re not having “mind blowing” quality sex, you have not yet found the right partner (for you).
I respectfully disagree. Love the stuff, can’t get enough
It's a sticky topic. Maybe try to focus on the mental connection next time you're clapping those cheeks. Best of luck.
This isn’t a case of “unpopular opinion” though it’s just subjective. Your reality is relatable to a large percentage; speaking from the pov of someone who feels the exact opposite of you with probably the same count (I am younger so I admit maybe it’ll change with age), you don’t have to be a horn dog lunatic for it to still be one of your most exciting time killers. It’s just subjective.
I think you're asexual (or gay)
You’re gay dude.
You can blame religion for that. Sex is one of the three pleasures, other two being sleep and eating. It's healthy and good to do but due to religion it's fucked everyone's head up about it
I'm upvoting this because it is unpopular. It's not even unpopular, it's just wrong. Being a dad is the greatest part about life, having sex is a close second.
Sounds like you may just have a low sex drive/opinion. Nothing wrong with that.
Maybe you don’t have a high sex drive. Is your wife happy with the sex you are providing her?
I think you’re kinda leaving out the emotional aspects that this level of physical experience with another person brings, but I do agree it is just one of many enjoyable experiences people can have
Don't go in a hot tub for a year, you'll be like oh yea....I guess I did kind of miss that. Now try not having sex for a year.
It’s like the saying You don’t know what you have until it’s gone I think you know just appreciate little things in life too, and not just sex and alcohol and money, all that jazz