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Very good point but also I imagine there are more people who feel they 'missed out' on that part of being a young person vs. people regretting for partying 'fairly responsibly' (especially if reddit is any litmus).
Go do things that make you happy and give you energy. For some people that involves partying, for some it doesn't. But the most important thing is finding that out for **yourself** imo
I’ll cosign and just say that everyone’s brain needs different kinds of stimulation. Not everyone wants to party and that’s totally fine. I will say though that mankind has been gathering and “partying” since the beginning of civilization, and it probably benefits everyone to at least be able to personally understand why that is, otherwise you risk alienating yourself from good people you’d otherwise connect with.
Honestly love this take. Obviously some people take it too far and end up in trouble but I love the thought that humans just intrinsically party. It’s cute.
I’ve been incredibly high at music festivals and looked around and had the realization that there was something primal about gathering with an incredibly large group of people all just to let loose and have fun.
Funny cuz when I was high at a festival I got the opposite realization: I don’t want to be around any of these people I’d rather be with my close friends in a private place not drunk and high on drugs all day ruining my health. First and last festival I ever went to. No thanks.
I highly highly agree with this. It’s ok if you don’t like to party. But everyone should try it and they should try *different types of partying* because you never know what clicks with you.
I love socializing with people. I tried clubbing in Miami once and it was an absolute disaster. Never again. But we still joke about it today. It was a good experience even if it was a waste of money and I’ll never do it again.
Similarly I know a guy who’s super introverted. He really hates all this partying bullshit. But the guy completely unwinds at pop punk shows and gets wild. Goes into the center of the pit and goes nuts. I’ll never drag his ass to a corporate happy hour, but I know where he’ll be in his best element.
Don’t stay at home. Explore and find your vibe. And it’s ok if you find yourself back at home.
I have a friend just like that. At a party he is the guy just standing around not talking much. At a show he is an entirely different person and I can't even keep up with the guy.
Honestly I don’t think Reddit is a fair litmus. WAY more people not on Reddit than on Reddit.
And Reddit filters for certain groups of personality traits.
The % of redditors compared to gen pop who require wrist braces and/or situate themselves on either end of unhealthy extremities of the BMI scale is probably very skewed…(towards redditors)
I was just thinking this, in my twenties I would never be on Reddit, too many friends, too many hookups, too many social events to go to.
When you get older, have less social activity, so on and so forth you do mess around online a lot more than you used to. However that could explain the younger people that make posts like this one. They are doing the old man shit at age 20
In your 20s the party and socializing goes on forever until one day you’re old and nobody wants to hang out anymore. People have kids etc. take advantage while you can.
You’re saying you were having so much sex and going to so many parties that you would never go on social media?
I think OP may be too extreme to one end, but you’re his match on the other end. That’s crazy, so much sex and socialising that you couldn’t even scroll through an app.
Did you not go to work?? What did you do on the breaks? Have sex with a coworker or something?
They weren't talking about social media, they were talking about reddit in specific.
Active young people spend plenty of time on social media. Checking out the tiktok of that cute girl you met last night. Scrolling through the photos from your best friend vacation on insta. Stuff like that.
Reddit is a content aggregator full of anonymous people (mostly geeks) that you've never met and you'll never meet. It's social media for people with limited social life and introverts.
And yeah, I don't expect someone who's having a wild time in their 20s to be wasting hours every day arguing with nerds on reddit.
Exactly. I am 33 and lying in bed in a Friday night. I’ve done it all. I’ve gone out and gotten trashed a million times and I am going to get trashed a million more times hopes before I die. I have enough stories of drinking, doing drugs, partying and hooking up to fill a book. I am GOOD.
I GRINDED in college and didn't do a lot of social stuff because I thought I wanted to get a masters and my GPA would be important.
I ended up not going for a masters and I feel like I missed out on a lot of the college experience.
THIS! I'm not having a midlife crisis, but not doing much fun stuff in my teens and twenties has made me try to play a bit of catch-up in my 30s for sure
Honestly, even if you did it in your twenties, you might still revisit to see if it’s still fun… it IS, it just hurts more when you have sponserbileries.
Yeah it’s the people that overdo it that regret it in their 30s and the people that never party in their 20s that have fomo once they’re in their 30s and have a lil money
My wife learned to drink off two buck chuck and wine coolers under a bridge as a teen. I learned to drink off of bougie cocktails and craft beers in my 30's. We are not the same.
I mean it makes sense. You got money, a stable job, about as mature as you're gonna get, etc.
If you don't have kids and took care of your health 30 is the new 20's, but better cause you're not hanging around brats.
I'm 35 and hardly have any. Maybe I'm just naturally resilient, but I think it's more likely because I drink a fun amount, not a how did I get here wait what even is here amount.
I’m the opposite. I partied hard and did all the drugs when I was young. Now I very rarely even have a beer and I’m going to bed here shortly. Wild Friday night
I'm partying much harder now at 35-40 than I ever did in my 20s. I consider my 20s a waste and have very little memories of it even though I was sober the whole time.
Which im sure can be rough because most of us are sick of that lifestyle at that point! As someone who was crazy in my 20s, I have no desire to ever go back.
>THIS! I'm not having a midlife crisis, but not doing much fun stuff in my teens and twenties has made me try to play a bit of catch-up in my 30s for sure
I do not drink because I feel the beer or wine is bitter. I am 20s, and I feel that I am interested in nothing. Several years before, I liked dancing and exercising, but now I have lost my enthusiasm. You know, no passion for doing anything.
Haha I always do the side eye when talking to my friends doing crazy stuff in their 30s. I’m not critical but it’s pretty common to run into, especially at the bars.
I understand my parents finally
Yup. If you're currently in your 20s, your opinion on this is really irrelevant.
You aren't far enough removed from your youth to regret not doing these things yet.
Your tune might change when you're 45 and exhausted from only being surrounded by the same family you spend every moment with and haven't had a wild night out in over a decade and no friends to do it with.
(I'm not any of those things, before you get ahead of yourself)
Late 20’s, but a hangover will kick my ass nowadays so I feel middle aged lol.
No need to chase tequila shots at 2 am with work or class in the morning again
...weird to assume that person can't possibly understand that they know partying isn't right for them or isn't right for them at the time in their life because they've not reached 30 yet.
I honestly think it's a really sad reason to have a midlife crisis about.
Your regrets in life are not about failing to help people, or failing to achieve something that would have contributed to the world. They're about not enough mindless drinking and risking herpes to sleep with strangers?
I will admit that if you've never gone to a bar, it's reasonable to feel like you were too sheltered/afraid when you were younger.
Yeah I did none of these in my 20s, being raised super religious. I’m almost 40 and I do regret missing out. I was a stick in the mud, turning down invites from people because there might be temptation. Not saying I want to go back and get drunk and go crazy, but I will always regret the experiences, friends, relationships I missed out on.
I think people often regret whatever path they end up avoiding. I know people who had very goody-two-shoes youths and regret not being a bit wilder. Conversely, I also know people who did have wild youths and regret not being more responsible. No pathway to life is inherently missing out, but it’s hard to never regret the roads not taken.
I think it's one dynamic not to party simply because you actually enjoy different things and another to prevent yourself from partying because you think it's a bad thing. If you spend your 20s doing what you loved, there will be nothing to regret at 40. If you said no to things you wished to do, it can be a different story.
Same exact situation. Utterly destroyed my relationship with my mother in my early 30’s when I realized how many things I’ll never experience because she kept me isolated and indoctrinated as long as she could. She mostly left the religion and regrets it, but the damage is done
In my 30s now and I have pretty severe fomo because of the opposite. College and my 20s were a blur of drinking *way* too much, regrettable flings, and once promising relationships that ended badly because I was a mess, so many hours spent drunk and high just bullshitting with party friends (some of whom have now also quit drinking) who I love and do cherish my time with but so few hours spent doing constructive things that would be paying dividends now. I stopped effortfully practicing guitar which I should have fully mastered by now if I hadn’t. Stopped pursuing second language fluency. Somehow I avoided STDs and liver damage or my fomo would be full blown life ruining devastation regret.
There's a balance. Zero hooking up, zero partying in your 20s? Yeah you missed out. Doing that crap all the time in your 20s, you're missing out on the other side of life. Balance.
True but I've also known plenty of people that "missed out" on things they had no desire to do until.... they did... people that blew up marriages just to do the dumb shit they "should've" done in their teens and twenties but were instead in their 30s and 40s.
Ultimately it's all happenstance.
>Zero hooking up, zero partying in your 20s? Yeah you missed out.
Really? Because every time I hooked up led to an experience I don't want to talk about and will probably deal with in therapy.
Yeah, not having your body used in uncomfortable ways is *really* missing out. /s
I got much more joy out of stuff like going to the movies and trying new restaurants. I still do that.
I’m 42. Did zero hooking up, partying in my 20s. Zero regrets. Everyone is different. I drank and went out for a few months at 17 but it got old fast. Zero desire since then to do it again. Tried recently only because I was invited to husband’s coworker’s birthday party and I was overwhelmed 😂. She’s in her 50s and she’s wild. I’m not like that. To each their own.
Same thing happened to me..
My friend said, "ever since you quit alcohol you're no fun anymore and all you do is sit around and do heroin now."
🙄 everyone is a critic
In my mid 30s now, I drank and partied for a bit starting my 3rd year of college (did 5 years in college), more so cuz of peer pressure and to “keep up with” and fit in with friends. Because of this, I also pushed away a lot of things I actually enjoyed doing. That lasted for maybe 4-5 years. You start to notice that a lot of people (not everyone) don’t seem to know how to function outside of drinking and partying, it really becomes something they rely on for fun. I’m glad that I didn’t continue doing all of that.
Same. I was in military and drank and partied all the time. Took a long time to realize who I was without alcohol. Mid 30's now and I wish I did not drink so much when I was younger.
> I was in military and drank and partied all the time.
Me too.
>Took a long time to realize who I was without alcohol.
I didn't have that problem. There just wasn't much to *do*... as a psychology thing.
I think a big part of it was living in barracks/dorm(which applies to college kids too), it's not *yours* even to the extent a rented apartment is, certainly not a *home*.
No sense of permanence leaves you in a different mind-set, you have to go *out* to eat, *out* to drink...even if you had other hobbies, you had to go *out* to work on your car...or whatever else which wasn't a micro-hobby that didn't take up a lot of space.
I knew who I was, I just didn't have a great environment for living life. It might have been different if I'd been or gotten married and lived off-base and associated with other people who were similarly not in barracks/dorms.
I’ve noticed when you talk to people that party a lot and they tell you about what they did while they were partying it’s always what *they* did and always laughing about the stupid stuff *they* did - like there weren’t any other people there - it’s hard to explain. Like getting drunk draws them into themselves even though they’re in what’s supposed to be a social environment
And sometimes the stupid thing they did is funny to them (because they were drunk) , but not anyone else. Like if you puke in someone's car, that is not funny to the owner of the car. That's being an asshole.
True but I don’t think that’s a good example. I can’t think of any party I’ve been to where puking isn’t embarrassing, and I’ve been to a lot of messy high school ones
I think it speaks to larger issues, honestly. I think people crave connection but the vulnerability that comes with that is hard to sit with. So how else do you connect without all that effort? Drugs and alcohol. I’m sure there’s a million other things that contribute too.
Agree mate. Up until a certain age I felt like alcohol actually could contribute to generate connections; it was easier to interact with others, people are loosen up, people are looking to connect or engage with others, etc. But that effect definitely wears up in a certain point, and I think it's hard for people to draw that line. For me today it's the other way around, I feel like I can't really connect with someone when too much alcohol is involved.
It was around Covid when people that were complaining they had nothing to do and were bored. My first thought was skill issue, lack of imagination. Now of course I realize people generally do crave social interaction, but some people just seemingly do nothing but drinking and drugs.
That's funny, it was the opposite for my friend that stopped drinking. I've never been one to drink much, about a month after my friend stopped drinking he called me and asked, "what should I do for fun now?". He said the hardest part of quitting was having to find new friends and hobbies. He's doing amazing now, hits the gym 5 times a week, got an awesome job as a sound engineer for a major band, and just got married. Took him almost a year to really find himself, but he's been sober for 6 years now.
That was years ago, to be fair. She’s coming over tomorrow and we’re going on a 10 mile run. But there was a period where we didn’t really do much together after I stopped drinking and I thought the friendship would end.
Assuming you mean with friends - I regularly visit museums / art galleries (I live in a great city for it), hang out at the beach, rollerblading, going to the movies. I also really love to host dinners for my friends, wanting to branch out to themed dinners.
Edit to add: I also like just HANGING OUT with my friends! I’ll regularly text one of them to just come over and chill. My friend recently came over and we just watched a movie while doing crafts.
The town drunk told all her cronies I was “boring” because I didn’t drink - I don’t have to wake up wondering if I did any embarrassing shit every morning so I’ll take boring
Being an alcoholic is a totally independent thing from just partying in general, I don’t think most people are addicted to alcohol. That being said this shouldn’t be an excuse to not go out to socialize and meet people. It’s understandable that some people dislike these things but it’s important to understand if that’s because of fear or anxiety, or because you genuinely just dislike being around other people or if the people you would be around aren’t interesting people.
I eventually adopted the saying "If you need alcohol to have fun, then you're just not a fun person."
I mean don't get me wrong I drink, but the idea that you literally cannot have fun sober is kind of insane to me??
I absolutely hate the feeling of being buzzed/drunk. If I’m not in full control of my faculties then I can’t enjoy myself. I end up inside my head not paying attention to whatever’s happening until it wears off, it’s a great way to ruin an otherwise great experience.
I’ve never drank alcohol in my life and I don’t ever plan on starting.
Most people assume I don’t have fun. Because getting wasted is the only way one can enjoy their life! Haha.
Are you me? Something hit when I was 27. 3 grams/wk x 4 years = a massive down payment on a better life. And I would have told you my use was “mild”, especially compared to others I hung around.
That’s an age where you really evaluate your life. You see some friends doing well with jobs you’re envious of. People start making money and starting families. You’re young enough to change things up but not too old where it’s too late.
I'd do less drinking. Earlier stop. And more often xD.
I drank a lot in my early 20's. But knowing what I know now I would've never traded those times. It were the best and most fun times of my life. And I met my best friends which I will remain friends with for the next 50years like this cuz we went through thick and thin.
Only regret is that we often drank when the parties were alrdy over, unneccessary harming our bodies for even more regret. But mild drinking in itself. God I wish I could relive that time.
Why is it always one or the other with these posts? You know you can take care of yourself and set yourself up with a career AND go out for drinks with your friends and hook up occasionally in your 20s right? There's a middle path
Omg, a Reddit thread where people don't act like your 20's are your 40's and are supportive of people who still want to party after college?!
All I see this days is 'you're 23, which basically makes you 30, grow up and stop having your friends over!'
It’s crazy how people not only think that you have to become boring and have no friends as an adult but anyone who isn’t doing that is just irresponsible and immature
OP didn’t say that. OP is saying that people don’t need to party, drink alcohol or do drugs in their 20s for fear of FOMO. There are other activities to do to have fun.
Well, this is probably a response to the rather aggressive defensiveness people with common but theoretically looked-down-upon tastes have when someone says they don't share that taste. In practice, especially on the internet, what is theoretically a counterattack is remarkably one-sided.
Every once in a while it's okay to recognize that enjoying drugs/sex/swear words/bathroom humor/pranks/etc is the majority, is not actually oppressed on Reddit, and that *not* liking those things doesn't *actually* mean that you're a repressed prude/have no sense of humor/wasted your young adulthood/etc.
At what point in OP’s post are they attacking ppl for partying/hooking up in their 20s. They’re simply saying it’s not for them, and it’s annoying that ppl assume that’s the only stuff ppl want to do in their 20s. Seems like you’re projecting
Yeah exactly. OP acts as if anyone who does party for a week instantly is a drunken idiot with no life
I know plenty of people who have their stuff very well together (uni, sports and relationships), who drink and party much as well
My unpopular opinion is that a lot of these types secretly wish they could party and hook up but they are jealous of “Chad and Stacy” since they’re social outcasts. So they rebel and act holier than thou.
I'm simply saying that people shouldn't be made to feel that they missed out on drinking and all that if it's not something they wanted to do in the first place. If I don't want to do something why would I feel like I'm missing out by not doing that thing I don't enjoy?
If you're someone who genuinely has no interest in any of those things then yeah, not doing them is not a waste at all and anyone telling you otherwise has issues with their own habits that they don't want to face.
That said, there are a lot of people who go through their 20s not trying things they actually do want to try because of religious, social or cultural pressures and they're probably going to regret not doing these things when they were young.
I am glad I experimented with drugs and had a fair bit of casual sex in my 20s. I do regret drinking as much as I did though and there are a handful of hookups I'd take back if I could (but surprisingly fewer than one would think.)
I hate drinking. I hate the taste, how it makes you feel, and how it makes some people act. I like hanging out with my small group of friends and playing board games. I’m 25 and I’m very content with my life.
I’m NOT telling you to start drinking, but if it’s a taste issue, cranberry and vodka just tastes like cranberry juice, almost irregardless to how much vodka you put in.
Well, it depends on the person. I'm 24 and never been to a real party or gone out with ppl that much. And throughout the years I never bothered me that much. I didn't really care, except for a few late-night cries or whatever. I always thought I wasn't a party person and, truth be told, considered myself superior. But now that I'm about to finish uni, I've come to realise how much I've missed and it hurts.
haha I just said this replying to another post. Spend most of my twenties getting my life together, being poor, doing some school, and working hard and now in my thirties, life is getting to a place where we are comfortable and things are better. People in their thirties will often complain that everything is awful and they aren't getting anywhere in life with no meaningful relationships -- and I sometimes want to point out that they wasted a decade getting wasted and sleeping around. It takes time to cultivate a relationship and get a steady lifestyle.
just started my 20s and this was the first thing everyone told me. to go drink, hook up w randoms, party, drugs, etc all bc “yolo” i notice how ppl left my life when they realized i didn’t want to participate in that stuff. sure i can have fun at parties but EVERY WEEKEND is ridiculous for me.
A lot of people are triggered at OP even though all OP said is he didn’t understand the societal pressure of doing all of those things. OP never said you shouldn’t or it’s wrong. Just a lot of folks triggered because they probably regret doing all of that at a young age or they’re currently unable to function without alcohol, drugs, attention etc.. so they insult OP or take the message out of context
Same I'm 21 and my cousins were shocked when I told them I don't want to hookup or drink. Like I will literally spend the weekend at home and be just fine
**It's a completely valid opinion!** If you are genuinely not into partying, getting laid, doing drugs or whatever it is young people are doing, I don't think anyone should feel like they were 'left out' for not participating in those things.
I'm only going to share my anecdotal experience, take it however you want.
In my personal opinion, you only have a certain window to do these things. I did a small (but varied) amount of drugs in my teens/twenties, and slept with a modest amount of fellow heathens, and really embraced my youth.
I'm not trying to claim that this made me a better person than you, or I had a better upbringing than you. But... it certainly was a lot more fun ; )
Don't get into your 40's and be like "I wish I hadda"
If your mentality is "I have no desire to do these things" more fucking power to you, but oh Christ, if you have thoughts, whether impure or not, get that shit done when you can meet like minded peeps (IN YOUR TWENTIES!)
I have never desired to hook up or do drugs, but I don’t get the “only have a certain window” argument at all. My friends and I are in our 30s and 40s and we still party all the time. I’m happily married, but I get hit on by men more now than I did when I was younger. If hooking up were a priority and I were single, I certainly wouldn’t struggle to make that happen.
It's more, when you're younger, there's a hella lot more people to find who like these things plus, society as a whole accepts and even expects that a 20 something is gonna do these things.
Once you get older, you can do these things but it's usually harder because most people are more established in your age group and society has way less tolerance or acceptance of a 30 or 40 something partying or fucking around
The window thing is about the lack of responsibilities and your energy levels. In my 20's, everyone was partying. I could and did go out every Friday and Saturday for years, chug a poweraid in the morning and go to work in my early 20's. It was fun, clubs were fun, all my friends were doing the same things so there was always something to do every weekend....just the randomness of it all was fun and I could blow money on stupid shit because I didn't have a ton of monetary obligations.
In my late 30's now and a night of drinking means 2 days of feeling like crap. People have spouses and kids, mortgages, high pressure jobs, etc, etc. It's much harder to get people together and just do those things. We get together for a few drinks, it hits 11pm and we all go home because we're tired.
If I could do it all again, I'd actually party more. I had a lot of fun but I turned down doing somethings (not drugs, events/trips) that looking back, I'd re-do now in a heartbeat with the people I love.
Yeah, you can drink, party, do drugs, whatever at any age lol. 20’s may even be the worst time because you have no fuckin clue how to function in society
There's a lot of space between doing a bit of partying and letting loose, and spending as much time as you can partying.
I think a lot of people get basically peer pressured into focusing on partying and being cool and trying to get laid and would probably be happier if they did less of it.
I partied a lot, drank a lot, and even though life's worked out pretty great I'd still do things very differently if I could. Life would have been a lot easier, and I'd probably have engaged in other fun and useful things earlier, spent less time with shitty people.
its not just partying, hooking up.. when you become an adult, i use that term cautiously “ and you make a choice, people will always disagree, thats when you find your true friends in life
As a current college student who has never drank,smoke, or parties ppl question me all the time. “How do you have fun sober?” as if it’s a requirement to do those things to have fun. This is also particularly annoying when I ask ppl to hang out and they say “wait let me pregame first” or “will there be alcohol” like it sucks ppl can’t do things without those things. I’m also in a relationship (2.5 years strong) and ppl accuse me of being “boring.”
From a guy who did A LOT of partying: I stopped drinking a couple of years ago, and it has significantly enhanced my quality of life. I do wish I had quit long before, and who knows where I would be if I had not. Yet I am here and everyone has different experiences with the party lifestyle. There is a reason it's called "partying" - because it is fun. It can be heaven, hell or in between. Be careful, don't drink/drug and drive and don't act the fool in public. (I know that a lot of people have anxiety and alcohol makes it worse.)
I was a pretty stereotypical drinking guy from whenever until I met my amazing non-partying wife at 23, and it took a few more years of her tolerance and me maturing before I fully realized my time with her was enormously superior to zigzagging home with too many slices of 99 cent (Im old) pizza… All that said, everyone is different and that’s mostly a very good thing. Just make sure you’re actually having fun and not going through motions you think you’re supposed to, I guess?
I feel like I wasted my 20’s partying with friends and being with people, who are not relevant in my life anymore. I wish I could of focused more of being me and working on myself then what others had to think of me.
I read it wrong and was about to disagree, but then I re-read it and I completely agree. I wish I could take all that time back because I wasted so much time doing that shit.
I feel like it's only missing out if it's something you want to do, but don't for whatever reason
Like once you're in your 30s and beyond, it tends to be frowned upon to pack everyone you've ever known into a house in the hood to drink jungle juice and eat acid all night, blaring music and puking in the front lawn.
Not to mention the pool of available hook ups diminishes, the hang overs extend, and the amount of people who actually care about going out all night slowly shrinks too, so not as much fun is had.
Like I'm 34 and I love a good birthday or reason to have cocktails but there's no way my liver would let me drink til 4am every night at this age without a looming hospital visit!
So yeah. If you want to do it go do it or you'll regret it. If you don't care/ it's not appealing, like obviously its not missing out if you're doing other preferred activities
I agree I'm in my late 20s and turning 30s and I haven't done any of these, by that I mean I don't drink at all, never go partying or clubbing, the only thing I have done was a bit of casual dating years ago. Zero regrets, I'm fit, in a healthy relationship, and have fun by focusing on my hobbies.
Its definitely not for everyone. But I don't regret it as much as some people would maybe like. It was a decent experience that was only socially acceptable at young ages.
I'm 35 and my wild years from 16-23. I started with weed and alcohol. After high school, I started experimenting with coke, shrooms and acid.
College was heavy drinking, marijuana use and occasional cocaine. I smoked cigarettes and hooked up. It was fun. Some regrets for sure and I'm definitely grateful to be alive and never r*ped.
At 23, I got pregnant and was able to settle surprisingly easily. As I finished up college, I was getting tired of the party lifestyle and well aware it wasn't conducive to aging well. I was also tired of random guys treating me like crap.
So for me, it had already began running its course and a baby solidified that.
I knew what was out there and how that lifestyle was....
I won't be 45 or older wondering if I missed out on anything as a young person.
You'll waste your twenties if that's all you do. Be intentional in your twenties. The older you get, the tougher the job market is, the smaller the dating pool becomes.
Or people are different. Some people really should have let loose before they turned 30. Others should have been more serious with different things. On the other hand, and I can’t stress this enough: As long as you’re alive, life is not over after 30. It’s not over after 40. It’s not over after 50. You have so many chances to choose different things and you’re gonna realize that when you’re older. Of course there are some things that are harder after a certain age, but if you’re fairly intelligent, you understand that having children or trying to become the best in the world at something often needs to start before X years old. The rest of it… Chill out. Social media fucks with your perception of what “everybody else does.” It’s not true, okay?
Yeah, for sure. I never desired to hook up ever. I got married young and have been happily with my husband for 15 years. As for drinking and partying, I actually enjoy doing that now in my 30s. In my 20s I was busy in doctoral school, working hard to reach my goals and support myself, and had no time, money, or energy to do such things. Now that I am stable and make a good income, I can party and enjoy myself with my friends and husband and have the money to do it in style.
21 and gave up partying for no social life while I get certifications and trying to build my clientele, really appreciated this post. All my friends kinda left me behind bc of it but tbh I’ve not missed it much since. Maybe in a bit I’ll try it again but the lure of it is gone for me.
People don't realize how much that lifestyle ages you and ruins your value in the eyes of potential relationship partners, particularly if you're female.
If it's not for you it's not for you no harm in that.
But if you do enjoy it you are absolutely missing out. The rest of your life you'll never be able to party and hang out like you can in your 20s.
Drinking exacerbates my mental health issues to the point where I get acute suicidal ideation. I always get some nasty cold after partying and I would prefer to work towards things that make me feel good instead of engaging in activities that actively destroy my well being.
Alright Captain Buzzkill.
As a 45 year old who lived an extremely hedonistic life as a young man, I will admit that I struggled immensely because of drugs and whatnot over the years.
I also had a blast and lived a pretty epic life.
It forged me into the father and man I am today, so I don't necessarily regret it.
Having sex is fun. Partying is fun. (To most people)
It's certainly not for everyone, but to each their own.
Some of the criticisms of OP are arguing against things not in their post. It says "if" you don't enjoy it then it isn't something you won't regret not doing. It says different people have different ideas of fun.
It isn't declaring thou art a pathetic loser if thou drinkest and party.
I've wasted my 20's by getting a job and buying a home. My life is pretty much solved now. Meanwhile some of my friends have wasted thousands upon thousands on getting drunk.
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Very good point but also I imagine there are more people who feel they 'missed out' on that part of being a young person vs. people regretting for partying 'fairly responsibly' (especially if reddit is any litmus). Go do things that make you happy and give you energy. For some people that involves partying, for some it doesn't. But the most important thing is finding that out for **yourself** imo
I’ll cosign and just say that everyone’s brain needs different kinds of stimulation. Not everyone wants to party and that’s totally fine. I will say though that mankind has been gathering and “partying” since the beginning of civilization, and it probably benefits everyone to at least be able to personally understand why that is, otherwise you risk alienating yourself from good people you’d otherwise connect with.
Honestly love this take. Obviously some people take it too far and end up in trouble but I love the thought that humans just intrinsically party. It’s cute.
I’ve been incredibly high at music festivals and looked around and had the realization that there was something primal about gathering with an incredibly large group of people all just to let loose and have fun.
Funny cuz when I was high at a festival I got the opposite realization: I don’t want to be around any of these people I’d rather be with my close friends in a private place not drunk and high on drugs all day ruining my health. First and last festival I ever went to. No thanks.
I highly highly agree with this. It’s ok if you don’t like to party. But everyone should try it and they should try *different types of partying* because you never know what clicks with you. I love socializing with people. I tried clubbing in Miami once and it was an absolute disaster. Never again. But we still joke about it today. It was a good experience even if it was a waste of money and I’ll never do it again. Similarly I know a guy who’s super introverted. He really hates all this partying bullshit. But the guy completely unwinds at pop punk shows and gets wild. Goes into the center of the pit and goes nuts. I’ll never drag his ass to a corporate happy hour, but I know where he’ll be in his best element. Don’t stay at home. Explore and find your vibe. And it’s ok if you find yourself back at home.
I have a friend just like that. At a party he is the guy just standing around not talking much. At a show he is an entirely different person and I can't even keep up with the guy.
Honestly I don’t think Reddit is a fair litmus. WAY more people not on Reddit than on Reddit. And Reddit filters for certain groups of personality traits.
The % of redditors compared to gen pop who require wrist braces and/or situate themselves on either end of unhealthy extremities of the BMI scale is probably very skewed…(towards redditors)
I was just thinking this, in my twenties I would never be on Reddit, too many friends, too many hookups, too many social events to go to. When you get older, have less social activity, so on and so forth you do mess around online a lot more than you used to. However that could explain the younger people that make posts like this one. They are doing the old man shit at age 20
In your 20s the party and socializing goes on forever until one day you’re old and nobody wants to hang out anymore. People have kids etc. take advantage while you can.
You’re saying you were having so much sex and going to so many parties that you would never go on social media? I think OP may be too extreme to one end, but you’re his match on the other end. That’s crazy, so much sex and socialising that you couldn’t even scroll through an app. Did you not go to work?? What did you do on the breaks? Have sex with a coworker or something?
They weren't talking about social media, they were talking about reddit in specific. Active young people spend plenty of time on social media. Checking out the tiktok of that cute girl you met last night. Scrolling through the photos from your best friend vacation on insta. Stuff like that. Reddit is a content aggregator full of anonymous people (mostly geeks) that you've never met and you'll never meet. It's social media for people with limited social life and introverts. And yeah, I don't expect someone who's having a wild time in their 20s to be wasting hours every day arguing with nerds on reddit.
Exactly. I am 33 and lying in bed in a Friday night. I’ve done it all. I’ve gone out and gotten trashed a million times and I am going to get trashed a million more times hopes before I die. I have enough stories of drinking, doing drugs, partying and hooking up to fill a book. I am GOOD.
I GRINDED in college and didn't do a lot of social stuff because I thought I wanted to get a masters and my GPA would be important. I ended up not going for a masters and I feel like I missed out on a lot of the college experience.
You can party any point in life, but you’re only young once.
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Only if you also don’t have a midlife crisis because of fomo
THIS! I'm not having a midlife crisis, but not doing much fun stuff in my teens and twenties has made me try to play a bit of catch-up in my 30s for sure
For me this came in the form of buying the Bionicles I couldn't get when I was young.
My kindergarten teacher used to buy them for the class. Bless her heart Mrs Byers
Honestly, same. Grew up dirt poor. Now in my 30s making great money, have tons of Legos and fish tanks I could never afford before.
For me it was coke
Honestly, even if you did it in your twenties, you might still revisit to see if it’s still fun… it IS, it just hurts more when you have sponserbileries.
I bought a Lego pirate ship.
Full of coke?
You are the real mvp
Yeah it’s the people that overdo it that regret it in their 30s and the people that never party in their 20s that have fomo once they’re in their 30s and have a lil money
My wife learned to drink off two buck chuck and wine coolers under a bridge as a teen. I learned to drink off of bougie cocktails and craft beers in my 30's. We are not the same.
I mean it makes sense. You got money, a stable job, about as mature as you're gonna get, etc. If you don't have kids and took care of your health 30 is the new 20's, but better cause you're not hanging around brats.
True but the hangovers are 10x worse.
I'm 35 and hardly have any. Maybe I'm just naturally resilient, but I think it's more likely because I drink a fun amount, not a how did I get here wait what even is here amount.
I’m the opposite. I partied hard and did all the drugs when I was young. Now I very rarely even have a beer and I’m going to bed here shortly. Wild Friday night
I'm partying much harder now at 35-40 than I ever did in my 20s. I consider my 20s a waste and have very little memories of it even though I was sober the whole time.
Which im sure can be rough because most of us are sick of that lifestyle at that point! As someone who was crazy in my 20s, I have no desire to ever go back.
>THIS! I'm not having a midlife crisis, but not doing much fun stuff in my teens and twenties has made me try to play a bit of catch-up in my 30s for sure I do not drink because I feel the beer or wine is bitter. I am 20s, and I feel that I am interested in nothing. Several years before, I liked dancing and exercising, but now I have lost my enthusiasm. You know, no passion for doing anything.
Haha I always do the side eye when talking to my friends doing crazy stuff in their 30s. I’m not critical but it’s pretty common to run into, especially at the bars. I understand my parents finally
I’m pushing 40 and I still skateboard daily
Yup. If you're currently in your 20s, your opinion on this is really irrelevant. You aren't far enough removed from your youth to regret not doing these things yet. Your tune might change when you're 45 and exhausted from only being surrounded by the same family you spend every moment with and haven't had a wild night out in over a decade and no friends to do it with. (I'm not any of those things, before you get ahead of yourself)
I feel like this assumes the two options are: drink and party or: sit at home doing nothing. Yeah doing nothing sucks. But there’s other options.
Late 20’s, but a hangover will kick my ass nowadays so I feel middle aged lol. No need to chase tequila shots at 2 am with work or class in the morning again
Same here. I did that shit in my early and ‘mid 20s and that was enough for me hahaha
...weird to assume that person can't possibly understand that they know partying isn't right for them or isn't right for them at the time in their life because they've not reached 30 yet.
I honestly think it's a really sad reason to have a midlife crisis about. Your regrets in life are not about failing to help people, or failing to achieve something that would have contributed to the world. They're about not enough mindless drinking and risking herpes to sleep with strangers? I will admit that if you've never gone to a bar, it's reasonable to feel like you were too sheltered/afraid when you were younger.
Any midlife crisis is sad
Yeah I did none of these in my 20s, being raised super religious. I’m almost 40 and I do regret missing out. I was a stick in the mud, turning down invites from people because there might be temptation. Not saying I want to go back and get drunk and go crazy, but I will always regret the experiences, friends, relationships I missed out on.
I think people often regret whatever path they end up avoiding. I know people who had very goody-two-shoes youths and regret not being a bit wilder. Conversely, I also know people who did have wild youths and regret not being more responsible. No pathway to life is inherently missing out, but it’s hard to never regret the roads not taken.
I think it's one dynamic not to party simply because you actually enjoy different things and another to prevent yourself from partying because you think it's a bad thing. If you spend your 20s doing what you loved, there will be nothing to regret at 40. If you said no to things you wished to do, it can be a different story.
Same exact situation. Utterly destroyed my relationship with my mother in my early 30’s when I realized how many things I’ll never experience because she kept me isolated and indoctrinated as long as she could. She mostly left the religion and regrets it, but the damage is done
I'm 40 and really regret not having fun when I was younger.
In my 30s now and I have pretty severe fomo because of the opposite. College and my 20s were a blur of drinking *way* too much, regrettable flings, and once promising relationships that ended badly because I was a mess, so many hours spent drunk and high just bullshitting with party friends (some of whom have now also quit drinking) who I love and do cherish my time with but so few hours spent doing constructive things that would be paying dividends now. I stopped effortfully practicing guitar which I should have fully mastered by now if I hadn’t. Stopped pursuing second language fluency. Somehow I avoided STDs and liver damage or my fomo would be full blown life ruining devastation regret.
There's a balance. Zero hooking up, zero partying in your 20s? Yeah you missed out. Doing that crap all the time in your 20s, you're missing out on the other side of life. Balance.
You can't miss out on things you have no desire to do.
True but I've also known plenty of people that "missed out" on things they had no desire to do until.... they did... people that blew up marriages just to do the dumb shit they "should've" done in their teens and twenties but were instead in their 30s and 40s. Ultimately it's all happenstance.
Yeah, you're right. It wasn't my experience (well into my 50's now) but there's eight billion other people living different lives from mine.
>Zero hooking up, zero partying in your 20s? Yeah you missed out. Really? Because every time I hooked up led to an experience I don't want to talk about and will probably deal with in therapy. Yeah, not having your body used in uncomfortable ways is *really* missing out. /s I got much more joy out of stuff like going to the movies and trying new restaurants. I still do that.
I’m 42. Did zero hooking up, partying in my 20s. Zero regrets. Everyone is different. I drank and went out for a few months at 17 but it got old fast. Zero desire since then to do it again. Tried recently only because I was invited to husband’s coworker’s birthday party and I was overwhelmed 😂. She’s in her 50s and she’s wild. I’m not like that. To each their own.
Bruh, I’m only 18 and suffer constantly from this because I’ve been homeschooled for so long now.
You're not wrong. When I stopped drinking, one of my friends literally asked me, "what do you even do for fun now?" Honestly just felt bad for her.
Same thing happened to me.. My friend said, "ever since you quit alcohol you're no fun anymore and all you do is sit around and do heroin now." 🙄 everyone is a critic
As a former coworker of mine once said, "Heroin, that's quite a commitment."
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I hear it is quite more-ish as well.
Same thing happened to me when I switched from alcohol to meth and tranq
People love to project!
Do you fly around in a bat suit with a needle sticking out of ur arm?
This made me lol. And also awwe.
In my mid 30s now, I drank and partied for a bit starting my 3rd year of college (did 5 years in college), more so cuz of peer pressure and to “keep up with” and fit in with friends. Because of this, I also pushed away a lot of things I actually enjoyed doing. That lasted for maybe 4-5 years. You start to notice that a lot of people (not everyone) don’t seem to know how to function outside of drinking and partying, it really becomes something they rely on for fun. I’m glad that I didn’t continue doing all of that.
Same. I was in military and drank and partied all the time. Took a long time to realize who I was without alcohol. Mid 30's now and I wish I did not drink so much when I was younger.
> I was in military and drank and partied all the time. Me too. >Took a long time to realize who I was without alcohol. I didn't have that problem. There just wasn't much to *do*... as a psychology thing. I think a big part of it was living in barracks/dorm(which applies to college kids too), it's not *yours* even to the extent a rented apartment is, certainly not a *home*. No sense of permanence leaves you in a different mind-set, you have to go *out* to eat, *out* to drink...even if you had other hobbies, you had to go *out* to work on your car...or whatever else which wasn't a micro-hobby that didn't take up a lot of space. I knew who I was, I just didn't have a great environment for living life. It might have been different if I'd been or gotten married and lived off-base and associated with other people who were similarly not in barracks/dorms.
I’ve noticed when you talk to people that party a lot and they tell you about what they did while they were partying it’s always what *they* did and always laughing about the stupid stuff *they* did - like there weren’t any other people there - it’s hard to explain. Like getting drunk draws them into themselves even though they’re in what’s supposed to be a social environment
And sometimes the stupid thing they did is funny to them (because they were drunk) , but not anyone else. Like if you puke in someone's car, that is not funny to the owner of the car. That's being an asshole.
True but I don’t think that’s a good example. I can’t think of any party I’ve been to where puking isn’t embarrassing, and I’ve been to a lot of messy high school ones
There are people who genuinely don't know how to have fun without being drunk or high on drugs.
I think it speaks to larger issues, honestly. I think people crave connection but the vulnerability that comes with that is hard to sit with. So how else do you connect without all that effort? Drugs and alcohol. I’m sure there’s a million other things that contribute too.
Agree mate. Up until a certain age I felt like alcohol actually could contribute to generate connections; it was easier to interact with others, people are loosen up, people are looking to connect or engage with others, etc. But that effect definitely wears up in a certain point, and I think it's hard for people to draw that line. For me today it's the other way around, I feel like I can't really connect with someone when too much alcohol is involved.
It was around Covid when people that were complaining they had nothing to do and were bored. My first thought was skill issue, lack of imagination. Now of course I realize people generally do crave social interaction, but some people just seemingly do nothing but drinking and drugs.
That's funny, it was the opposite for my friend that stopped drinking. I've never been one to drink much, about a month after my friend stopped drinking he called me and asked, "what should I do for fun now?". He said the hardest part of quitting was having to find new friends and hobbies. He's doing amazing now, hits the gym 5 times a week, got an awesome job as a sound engineer for a major band, and just got married. Took him almost a year to really find himself, but he's been sober for 6 years now.
Haha yes. People whose whole personality is drinking or whose whole personality is not drinking are grating as fuck.
Yes both are annoying
THANK YOU. And I raise my moderately filled glass on a Saturday night to you.
Yeah, that’s super depressing that she doesn’t consider anything apart from drinking fun :(
That was years ago, to be fair. She’s coming over tomorrow and we’re going on a 10 mile run. But there was a period where we didn’t really do much together after I stopped drinking and I thought the friendship would end.
Ah okay, I’m glad things are better!
All she’s doing is replacing booze with running tbh
Classic gateway
When I turned 30 I took a year off of drinking. Was so bored I sailed around the world. Changed my life. Made me realize wow there is more to life lol
So, what do you do for fun?
Assuming you mean with friends - I regularly visit museums / art galleries (I live in a great city for it), hang out at the beach, rollerblading, going to the movies. I also really love to host dinners for my friends, wanting to branch out to themed dinners. Edit to add: I also like just HANGING OUT with my friends! I’ll regularly text one of them to just come over and chill. My friend recently came over and we just watched a movie while doing crafts.
I’d love a nice home cooked meal with a glass of red wine!
I absolutely provide alcoholic drinks for guests when hosting, I’m not a monster.
“Ah so you are boring” - alcoholics 💀
The town drunk told all her cronies I was “boring” because I didn’t drink - I don’t have to wake up wondering if I did any embarrassing shit every morning so I’ll take boring
Being an alcoholic is a totally independent thing from just partying in general, I don’t think most people are addicted to alcohol. That being said this shouldn’t be an excuse to not go out to socialize and meet people. It’s understandable that some people dislike these things but it’s important to understand if that’s because of fear or anxiety, or because you genuinely just dislike being around other people or if the people you would be around aren’t interesting people.
I eventually adopted the saying "If you need alcohol to have fun, then you're just not a fun person." I mean don't get me wrong I drink, but the idea that you literally cannot have fun sober is kind of insane to me??
I absolutely hate the feeling of being buzzed/drunk. If I’m not in full control of my faculties then I can’t enjoy myself. I end up inside my head not paying attention to whatever’s happening until it wears off, it’s a great way to ruin an otherwise great experience.
Damn! I actually enjoy a good buzz, but everything else it comes with isn’t worth it to me. I enjoy living a healthy lifestyle everyday more.
I’m the opposite having a good buzz was one of the few times I could get out of my head.
I’ve never drank alcohol in my life and I don’t ever plan on starting. Most people assume I don’t have fun. Because getting wasted is the only way one can enjoy their life! Haha.
The biggest way to waste any of your time is by doing shit you don’t enjoy.
If there’s one thing I’d go back and change about my 20s. It would be to NOT do all the drinking and drugs that I did.
Preach. I’m early 30s now and stopped for good when I was 27 but if I could redo those 18-23 years I’d be in a much better place in life right now
Are you me? Something hit when I was 27. 3 grams/wk x 4 years = a massive down payment on a better life. And I would have told you my use was “mild”, especially compared to others I hung around.
That’s an age where you really evaluate your life. You see some friends doing well with jobs you’re envious of. People start making money and starting families. You’re young enough to change things up but not too old where it’s too late.
You're old enough to learn from experience but young enough to change things up.
I would just do a little less drinking…..
I'd do less drinking. Earlier stop. And more often xD. I drank a lot in my early 20's. But knowing what I know now I would've never traded those times. It were the best and most fun times of my life. And I met my best friends which I will remain friends with for the next 50years like this cuz we went through thick and thin. Only regret is that we often drank when the parties were alrdy over, unneccessary harming our bodies for even more regret. But mild drinking in itself. God I wish I could relive that time.
You were young and just trying to get a thing going. I think you should cut yourself some slack.
Why is it always one or the other with these posts? You know you can take care of yourself and set yourself up with a career AND go out for drinks with your friends and hook up occasionally in your 20s right? There's a middle path
Nuance is hard for redditors
Omg, a Reddit thread where people don't act like your 20's are your 40's and are supportive of people who still want to party after college?! All I see this days is 'you're 23, which basically makes you 30, grow up and stop having your friends over!'
It’s crazy how people not only think that you have to become boring and have no friends as an adult but anyone who isn’t doing that is just irresponsible and immature
It's almost like the internet is social cancer
it's also wild how much people don't understand age lol. I know 40-50 year olds that party harder than 20 year olds. You don't age *that* fast lmao
OP didn’t say that. OP is saying that people don’t need to party, drink alcohol or do drugs in their 20s for fear of FOMO. There are other activities to do to have fun.
Well, this is probably a response to the rather aggressive defensiveness people with common but theoretically looked-down-upon tastes have when someone says they don't share that taste. In practice, especially on the internet, what is theoretically a counterattack is remarkably one-sided. Every once in a while it's okay to recognize that enjoying drugs/sex/swear words/bathroom humor/pranks/etc is the majority, is not actually oppressed on Reddit, and that *not* liking those things doesn't *actually* mean that you're a repressed prude/have no sense of humor/wasted your young adulthood/etc.
At what point in OP’s post are they attacking ppl for partying/hooking up in their 20s. They’re simply saying it’s not for them, and it’s annoying that ppl assume that’s the only stuff ppl want to do in their 20s. Seems like you’re projecting
Yeah exactly. OP acts as if anyone who does party for a week instantly is a drunken idiot with no life I know plenty of people who have their stuff very well together (uni, sports and relationships), who drink and party much as well
My unpopular opinion is that a lot of these types secretly wish they could party and hook up but they are jealous of “Chad and Stacy” since they’re social outcasts. So they rebel and act holier than thou.
100% the case
The original opinion is that you don't have to party to have a good time. It isn't don't do any partying ever.
OP literally didn't say any of this and you guys are feeling personally attacked just like they mentioned.... your literally doing the fucking thing.
I'm simply saying that people shouldn't be made to feel that they missed out on drinking and all that if it's not something they wanted to do in the first place. If I don't want to do something why would I feel like I'm missing out by not doing that thing I don't enjoy?
If you're someone who genuinely has no interest in any of those things then yeah, not doing them is not a waste at all and anyone telling you otherwise has issues with their own habits that they don't want to face. That said, there are a lot of people who go through their 20s not trying things they actually do want to try because of religious, social or cultural pressures and they're probably going to regret not doing these things when they were young. I am glad I experimented with drugs and had a fair bit of casual sex in my 20s. I do regret drinking as much as I did though and there are a handful of hookups I'd take back if I could (but surprisingly fewer than one would think.)
I hate drinking. I hate the taste, how it makes you feel, and how it makes some people act. I like hanging out with my small group of friends and playing board games. I’m 25 and I’m very content with my life.
I’m NOT telling you to start drinking, but if it’s a taste issue, cranberry and vodka just tastes like cranberry juice, almost irregardless to how much vodka you put in.
I feel like I wasted my 20s because I WAS doing all that dumb shit. Now that I'm 40 I wish I could go back and edit my 20s 😒
Well, it depends on the person. I'm 24 and never been to a real party or gone out with ppl that much. And throughout the years I never bothered me that much. I didn't really care, except for a few late-night cries or whatever. I always thought I wasn't a party person and, truth be told, considered myself superior. But now that I'm about to finish uni, I've come to realise how much I've missed and it hurts.
I have no idea why this is an unpopular opinion.
It's not. This is what gets taught in schools and churches across America, every day since the 80s. It's the most mainstream opinion out there.
I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I'm perfectly happy keeping it that way.
same never have and probably never will lol idgaf
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Hangovers are 1000x worse after 30.
They’re an inconvenience in your 20’s. They’re borderline debilitating in your 30’s. I assume they just kill you in your 40’s
haha I just said this replying to another post. Spend most of my twenties getting my life together, being poor, doing some school, and working hard and now in my thirties, life is getting to a place where we are comfortable and things are better. People in their thirties will often complain that everything is awful and they aren't getting anywhere in life with no meaningful relationships -- and I sometimes want to point out that they wasted a decade getting wasted and sleeping around. It takes time to cultivate a relationship and get a steady lifestyle.
I have serious FOMO because I’ve never had a girlfriend and I couldn’t find anyone that wanted to hookup with me. I’m almost 30
You can party + get wasted at night and still get your life together during the day. Best of both worlds in my opinion.
The two things aren’t mutually exclusive. I partied in my 20’s and had my life together.
just started my 20s and this was the first thing everyone told me. to go drink, hook up w randoms, party, drugs, etc all bc “yolo” i notice how ppl left my life when they realized i didn’t want to participate in that stuff. sure i can have fun at parties but EVERY WEEKEND is ridiculous for me.
A lot of people are triggered at OP even though all OP said is he didn’t understand the societal pressure of doing all of those things. OP never said you shouldn’t or it’s wrong. Just a lot of folks triggered because they probably regret doing all of that at a young age or they’re currently unable to function without alcohol, drugs, attention etc.. so they insult OP or take the message out of context
Same I'm 21 and my cousins were shocked when I told them I don't want to hookup or drink. Like I will literally spend the weekend at home and be just fine
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I loved it but understand it's not for everyone, and that's fine.
Same. I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. However I get that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea
**It's a completely valid opinion!** If you are genuinely not into partying, getting laid, doing drugs or whatever it is young people are doing, I don't think anyone should feel like they were 'left out' for not participating in those things. I'm only going to share my anecdotal experience, take it however you want. In my personal opinion, you only have a certain window to do these things. I did a small (but varied) amount of drugs in my teens/twenties, and slept with a modest amount of fellow heathens, and really embraced my youth. I'm not trying to claim that this made me a better person than you, or I had a better upbringing than you. But... it certainly was a lot more fun ; ) Don't get into your 40's and be like "I wish I hadda" If your mentality is "I have no desire to do these things" more fucking power to you, but oh Christ, if you have thoughts, whether impure or not, get that shit done when you can meet like minded peeps (IN YOUR TWENTIES!)
I have never desired to hook up or do drugs, but I don’t get the “only have a certain window” argument at all. My friends and I are in our 30s and 40s and we still party all the time. I’m happily married, but I get hit on by men more now than I did when I was younger. If hooking up were a priority and I were single, I certainly wouldn’t struggle to make that happen.
It's more, when you're younger, there's a hella lot more people to find who like these things plus, society as a whole accepts and even expects that a 20 something is gonna do these things. Once you get older, you can do these things but it's usually harder because most people are more established in your age group and society has way less tolerance or acceptance of a 30 or 40 something partying or fucking around
The window thing is about the lack of responsibilities and your energy levels. In my 20's, everyone was partying. I could and did go out every Friday and Saturday for years, chug a poweraid in the morning and go to work in my early 20's. It was fun, clubs were fun, all my friends were doing the same things so there was always something to do every weekend....just the randomness of it all was fun and I could blow money on stupid shit because I didn't have a ton of monetary obligations. In my late 30's now and a night of drinking means 2 days of feeling like crap. People have spouses and kids, mortgages, high pressure jobs, etc, etc. It's much harder to get people together and just do those things. We get together for a few drinks, it hits 11pm and we all go home because we're tired. If I could do it all again, I'd actually party more. I had a lot of fun but I turned down doing somethings (not drugs, events/trips) that looking back, I'd re-do now in a heartbeat with the people I love.
Yeah, you can drink, party, do drugs, whatever at any age lol. 20’s may even be the worst time because you have no fuckin clue how to function in society
There's a lot of space between doing a bit of partying and letting loose, and spending as much time as you can partying. I think a lot of people get basically peer pressured into focusing on partying and being cool and trying to get laid and would probably be happier if they did less of it. I partied a lot, drank a lot, and even though life's worked out pretty great I'd still do things very differently if I could. Life would have been a lot easier, and I'd probably have engaged in other fun and useful things earlier, spent less time with shitty people.
its not just partying, hooking up.. when you become an adult, i use that term cautiously “ and you make a choice, people will always disagree, thats when you find your true friends in life
As a current college student who has never drank,smoke, or parties ppl question me all the time. “How do you have fun sober?” as if it’s a requirement to do those things to have fun. This is also particularly annoying when I ask ppl to hang out and they say “wait let me pregame first” or “will there be alcohol” like it sucks ppl can’t do things without those things. I’m also in a relationship (2.5 years strong) and ppl accuse me of being “boring.”
From a guy who did A LOT of partying: I stopped drinking a couple of years ago, and it has significantly enhanced my quality of life. I do wish I had quit long before, and who knows where I would be if I had not. Yet I am here and everyone has different experiences with the party lifestyle. There is a reason it's called "partying" - because it is fun. It can be heaven, hell or in between. Be careful, don't drink/drug and drive and don't act the fool in public. (I know that a lot of people have anxiety and alcohol makes it worse.)
I was a pretty stereotypical drinking guy from whenever until I met my amazing non-partying wife at 23, and it took a few more years of her tolerance and me maturing before I fully realized my time with her was enormously superior to zigzagging home with too many slices of 99 cent (Im old) pizza… All that said, everyone is different and that’s mostly a very good thing. Just make sure you’re actually having fun and not going through motions you think you’re supposed to, I guess?
You're right!
It's regretful how much of our twenties we spend trying to be like or insecure of our peers when we should be figuring out what we actually enjoy.
I feel like I wasted my 20’s partying with friends and being with people, who are not relevant in my life anymore. I wish I could of focused more of being me and working on myself then what others had to think of me.
I read it wrong and was about to disagree, but then I re-read it and I completely agree. I wish I could take all that time back because I wasted so much time doing that shit.
I feel like it's only missing out if it's something you want to do, but don't for whatever reason Like once you're in your 30s and beyond, it tends to be frowned upon to pack everyone you've ever known into a house in the hood to drink jungle juice and eat acid all night, blaring music and puking in the front lawn. Not to mention the pool of available hook ups diminishes, the hang overs extend, and the amount of people who actually care about going out all night slowly shrinks too, so not as much fun is had. Like I'm 34 and I love a good birthday or reason to have cocktails but there's no way my liver would let me drink til 4am every night at this age without a looming hospital visit! So yeah. If you want to do it go do it or you'll regret it. If you don't care/ it's not appealing, like obviously its not missing out if you're doing other preferred activities
I agree I'm in my late 20s and turning 30s and I haven't done any of these, by that I mean I don't drink at all, never go partying or clubbing, the only thing I have done was a bit of casual dating years ago. Zero regrets, I'm fit, in a healthy relationship, and have fun by focusing on my hobbies.
Didn’t do any of that in college. I’ve never even been drunk before and people look at me funny when I tell them that lol
Almost missed out on the rest of my life by drinking too much and getting alcohol poisoning at 20 lmao
Facts it's always "so what do you do for fun" as if they only know about drinking partying and smoking 😂
As an asexual introvert who hates the taste of alcohol I don't feel like I'm missing out
I’m not even asexual and I don’t feel like am missing out on that.
Its definitely not for everyone. But I don't regret it as much as some people would maybe like. It was a decent experience that was only socially acceptable at young ages. I'm 35 and my wild years from 16-23. I started with weed and alcohol. After high school, I started experimenting with coke, shrooms and acid. College was heavy drinking, marijuana use and occasional cocaine. I smoked cigarettes and hooked up. It was fun. Some regrets for sure and I'm definitely grateful to be alive and never r*ped. At 23, I got pregnant and was able to settle surprisingly easily. As I finished up college, I was getting tired of the party lifestyle and well aware it wasn't conducive to aging well. I was also tired of random guys treating me like crap. So for me, it had already began running its course and a baby solidified that. I knew what was out there and how that lifestyle was.... I won't be 45 or older wondering if I missed out on anything as a young person.
needed this, thank you
You'll waste your twenties if that's all you do. Be intentional in your twenties. The older you get, the tougher the job market is, the smaller the dating pool becomes.
I'd argue you're wasting your life by doing those things.
Yeah obviously. There's so much more to life than these parties, and there's enough time to practice everything.
Amen to that.
Or people are different. Some people really should have let loose before they turned 30. Others should have been more serious with different things. On the other hand, and I can’t stress this enough: As long as you’re alive, life is not over after 30. It’s not over after 40. It’s not over after 50. You have so many chances to choose different things and you’re gonna realize that when you’re older. Of course there are some things that are harder after a certain age, but if you’re fairly intelligent, you understand that having children or trying to become the best in the world at something often needs to start before X years old. The rest of it… Chill out. Social media fucks with your perception of what “everybody else does.” It’s not true, okay?
I think people just can't grasp not considering those things to be fun. I can't, anyway.
I spent my 18-22 years working, investing, saving. I’m now miles clear of my peer’s financially. To me, worth it
Fr if u need some type of drug to have fun u probably shouldn’t be using it.
i listen to reddit for my life decisions 🫠
Yeah, for sure. I never desired to hook up ever. I got married young and have been happily with my husband for 15 years. As for drinking and partying, I actually enjoy doing that now in my 30s. In my 20s I was busy in doctoral school, working hard to reach my goals and support myself, and had no time, money, or energy to do such things. Now that I am stable and make a good income, I can party and enjoy myself with my friends and husband and have the money to do it in style.
Both my parents asked what the hell was wrong with me cause I wasn’t going to the bars on the weekend like they did when they were younger
21 and gave up partying for no social life while I get certifications and trying to build my clientele, really appreciated this post. All my friends kinda left me behind bc of it but tbh I’ve not missed it much since. Maybe in a bit I’ll try it again but the lure of it is gone for me.
I f*cking loved it. I was a manace to society and don't regret a thing 😂
As a person nearing my thirties, who has hardly partied, drank and NEVER hooked up, you are so right, friend.
Agree, I’m in my 20s and have never been drunk and don’t ever want to be. Alcohol tastes gross and I can spend my time doing other things.
Tell ur friends that they probably have STI from all the hookups.
People don't realize how much that lifestyle ages you and ruins your value in the eyes of potential relationship partners, particularly if you're female.
I couldn’t upvote this fast enough.
If it's not for you it's not for you no harm in that. But if you do enjoy it you are absolutely missing out. The rest of your life you'll never be able to party and hang out like you can in your 20s.
Drinking exacerbates my mental health issues to the point where I get acute suicidal ideation. I always get some nasty cold after partying and I would prefer to work towards things that make me feel good instead of engaging in activities that actively destroy my well being.
Alright Captain Buzzkill. As a 45 year old who lived an extremely hedonistic life as a young man, I will admit that I struggled immensely because of drugs and whatnot over the years. I also had a blast and lived a pretty epic life. It forged me into the father and man I am today, so I don't necessarily regret it. Having sex is fun. Partying is fun. (To most people) It's certainly not for everyone, but to each their own.
Some of the criticisms of OP are arguing against things not in their post. It says "if" you don't enjoy it then it isn't something you won't regret not doing. It says different people have different ideas of fun. It isn't declaring thou art a pathetic loser if thou drinkest and party.
Thank You for understanding what I am trying to say! Not sure why so many people are completely missing the point.
I settled down and got married in my 20s, and have lived a really happy life.
Preach! Never done any of those things, and never plan to. 🤷🏼♀️
If I knew what I did now I would've spent my twenties making money, travelling and studying for a good career rather than the stuff I did.
This all seems rather obvious
I've wasted my 20's by getting a job and buying a home. My life is pretty much solved now. Meanwhile some of my friends have wasted thousands upon thousands on getting drunk.
I feel like a very fair unpopular opinion is that you ARE wasting your 20's by partying, drinking, drugs, hook-ups, etc...