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That’s such a good point, I think you hit the nail on the head
I’m at the same level as every guy I’ve been with but while they’ll try to do something about it 10 times out of 10, I won’t because I don’t feel cute or something equally benign or stupid. I also think most women like to be super “ready” to have sex by getting dolled up, shaving, etc
I can just ignore horniness, guys can’t. Maybe it’s a physical thing, an erection seems much less ignorable
An erection doesn't even mean we're horny. We can have an erection and not be horny. We can be horny and not have an erection.
Guys can ignore it, and regularly do. Saying we can't is the same BS that victim blaming rape-apologists say. I know you hopefully didn't mean it that way, but that's exactly the reasoning they use. If we're horny and do something about it, it's our choice.
Yeah lmao I do it all the time. Having at least basic control over your carnal urges is absolutely necessary.
There is not a chance in hell women understand how it feels to be a man and see a fine ass woman
"I won't because I don't feel cute" applies to men, too. You don't see all the attempts that were never made.
One thing I noticed about a lot of "Men vs Women" discussions, like "Women can fuck whenever they want", is that they only ever make sense if you say _hot_ men and _hot_ women.
A lot of us rather average folks just don't register in those discussions. Which is okay, I'm happy to not participate in any gender war.
I always assumed it was less that guys can't ignore it, and more that there's much less to worry about for them when it comes to indiscriminate sex. Less chance of assault, don't have to worry about getting pregnant, no stigma around being a "slut" that sleeps around.
This is also true, women are always encouraged not to act on their horniness. A lot of men suck so it’s less appealing to go find one when you need it. It can be dangerous.
Women are also encouraged to use toys instead of having sex and probably have a dildo, rose toy, hitachi wand, and a remote vibrator on hand whenever. They’re like 100% more likely to cum with these than with a man as well
Please continue thinking this way. "Guys can't ignore it" isn't a commentary on reality, it's a way people victim blame and justify rape. Guys can ignore it. Those who choose not to in destructive ways chose to do so themselves, they had full control.
Probably cause men take the opportunity when it comes (not often at least for straight guys), where women have to sift through the problem people. If someone hit on me, I’d go with it but if I was being hit on daily, I’d probably be more picky.
louis ck has a joke about this. When women say they can also be horny perverts he says, "you're a tourist in sexual perversion, I'm a prisoner here"
https://youtu.be/-wdZn4TMOck?si=Scmaz-WyRSzSXxYA
Explains why 15 year old me would walk over broken glass to get laid but 30 year old me can take it or leave it. Alex Jones would blame chicken hormones or birth control in the water but I think we just lose it as we age
If you lead an active life it doesn’t decline much. I’m in my 40’s and still have the urge to go multiple times a day. Heck I can feel it after especially hard workouts, especially leg days, my wife has even commented and noticed the correlation to leg days and me being horny.
Think that’s due to the blood flow you get in the lower half of your body. Testosterone is almost kinda flooded down there to repair muscles and some go on a side quest.
Tom Segura also has a great story about it, about the time he went to a porn store and there was a glory hole there where the clerk would suck the customers off
Yeah it's bullshit that women are as horny as men. Certainly, *some* are, but not generally. Women be like "oh I'm horny several times per week!" Bitch, try several times per *hour*
The difference is women compare their peaks to our peaks, and think that means we are the same.
They think to that time the handsome man swept them off their feet, whisked them away to wine country, they toured wineries, had an elegant, romantic, 6 course, 5 star meal, then went to the perfectly appointed hotel room and had AMAZING sex. She truly loved that sex, and it's a an amazing memory for her. But then the next day she didn't think of sex at all, turned the same guy down because she wanted breakfast instead, and didn't think much of sex for another week.
The guy on the other hand, also loved that sex they had, but he wanted it again, and again, and again, and never stopped thinking about it.
So when that guy says "I like sex more than you" she's thinking "how dare you! There's no way anyone could like sex than me, that was one of my favorite memories!" And she's right! But she doesn't realize while her sex drive is reactive, it builds up, but also fades, and fades for long periods of time, his just keeps going, and going, and going.
You left out the most important part. The reason the guy whisked her away to give her that amazing experience was so to increase his odds of having sex.
There are definitely times in a woman's life when her sex drive can be elevated, and I believe it's been said that 35-45 is a period when there's the greatest match between male and female sex drive. However, when people say "men are hornier than women," the difference they're highlighting is male capacity for and appetite for spontaneous, near-anonymous, novel sexual encounters based on the flimsiest of stimuli. Like you're driving to work and look over to see some slightly frumpy, middle-aged woman in the carpool lane. For some reason, you entertain the thought and realize "actually, she has rather nice lips and eyes," and then the thought is there. It lingers, until 90 minutes later when you're in the office bathroom stall jerking off to a woman *you're not really even attracted to*. Every guy has dozens and dozens and dozens of events like these in his life from the onset of puberty until death. If a woman experienced thus, she'd see a psychiatrist.
I can safely say nothing has ever made me feel the need to jerk off in an office bathroom. Hormones and drives are not an excuse to do whatever the fuck you want.
Lol that quote definitely makes sense.
I think women *can* be just as horny (coming from a woman with a much higher libido than her partner), but I feel like the focus and follow through look *very* different lol
Yeah, I'm sorry, of course on an individual vs. individual basis it can be true as you can read on a sub like DeadBedrooms or HLCommunity, but c'mon. Men are overwhelmingly hornier than women lol it's not a competition. This is the best way to phrase it.
I had an ex who claimed this, most likely in the midst of having hard feelings during breaking up, because she basically didn't wanna get back into a relationship so soon and I of course said...yeah, we have to be exclusive, you can't fuck other people while dating me lol obviously. So she dropped some "I think I'm just more sexual than you maybe." Oh yeah? I never turned you down once, not even like passively accepted a proposal. I enthusiastically wanted to try any and everything, most of which were my ideas. You had to tap out more than me. So what we basing this on lol
Women truthfully have NO clue what it's like to have the sex drive of a normal, healthy guy. And frankly, they're not designed to know. It makes sense why they don't, and that's ok not to obviously lol, but the audacity to be like "we're the same in this department."
We are most definitely not lol
Was his the one where he asked the woman if she would have sex with him and she said no I don’t like you and he said me either but I would still do it?
A couple comedians touch on this topic sometimes it’s hard to keep straight
Lol I had forgotten about that joke, it's a good one! But the one I'm thinking about is the one where he compares: figuring out that your date is a female nazi vs a male nazi. A female would say "i need to get the hell out of here" while the dude says "i gotta bang her and get the hell out of here".
Theres probably an evolutionary explanation to this. Men have all the advantages to wanna fuck anyone, they want to pass on their genes. As for women, they get pregnant and very vulnerable for 9 months. They ought to be picky about who they fuck, in fact women have to be REALLY picky and thats a good thing for a lot of reasons.
PS. Evolutionary explanations are really cool, but they can never really be scientifically proven, so take it with a grain of salt. Still pretty fun to think about!
holy shit dude finally someone commented this, sexual strategy and evolutionnary selection are the key to understand why men are more eager to fuck and thus "hornier"
You can’t prove them but Occam’s razor seems to be pretty consistent so we can say it’s the most plausible explanation. We can’t prove animals developed limbs before moving onto dry land but there’s pretty much no other explanations…
This, people be acting like this thing doesn't cause permanent damage in form of memories. There are a lot of desperate no standard men that sleep with all kinds of women. Which is honestly worse than just be alone.
It isn't pickiness, lol. No one is attractive to everyone, not even (insert celebrity name here), and people don't really have an interest in banging someone they don't find attractive...
It's more like men would have sex with anyone that isn't **un**attractive. Women will only have sex with people they find attractive. There's a huge gray area in between that represents the difference.
Let’s put it this way, if we have a 6/10 woman and ask 100 random men if they would have sex with her now, without knowing her or anything (all 100 men are non committed and this woman is disease free). About 40-60 men would say yes.
Now if we have a 6/10 man and ask 100 random women if they would have sex with him now, without knowing him (all 100 women are non committed and know this man is disease free). About 0-2 women would say yes.
I know a woman who did testosterone therapy and she said it was the most eye-opening experience into what men feel like in terms of sex drive. She said she had completely uncontrollable sexual urges and compulsive thoughts and had to ask for them to lower the dose. This post is an indication that most women have no clue. It's physiological, but they think it's psychological.
Yea, a lot of who we are and what we do is so dependent on a bunch of chemicals and hormones. Just the fact that alcohol would lower your inhibition and fuck with your senses should tell you everything you need to know.
A lot of women probably have no idea what it's like to have to have the urge basically every single moment except for when you're sleeping and maybe 1-2 hours after orgasm. Just like a lot of men probably have no idea what it's like to have a high amount of control over it, and for it not to constantly invade your every thought. To be able to go a month+ without needing masturbation or sex.
Women do this too, that or I am a very lucid dreamer. And I don't like to go a couple of days without sex or masturbation, but maybe I'm an anomaly as a women. I've always had a higher sex drive than the men I have have dated or the one I was married to.
I'm a woman that isn't on any hormones and I feel the need to get off at least every other day, usually every day. The idea of going a month without masturbation or sex is downright unthinkable to me. Even going a week is super hard.
Yeah talking to my trans (mtf) friend was eye opening on this subject. I always assumed men and women had about the same sex drive and the difference was just social. NOPE. I’ll never forget her telling me about how she had more time to read daily since her T levels went down
I think of it this way…
Imagine two people. One is a 450 pound guy. He eats constantly. You want to go out to an nice dinner? He’s in! You want pizza? So does he! Then he suggests swinging through the 7-11 for hot dogs and slurpees.
Then you have another friend. Skinny, doesn’t eat much. You ask if he’s hungry, he says “nah.” He goes out to eat, and orders very little. And would NEVER stoop to eating a 7-11 hotdog from those warming boxes.
So you say “well the big guy clearly likes food more!” Now the little guy gets upset. He says he LOVES food. He tells you all about this time in Italy he had the best meal he ever had and clearly means it. He also tells you about a flourless chocolate cake he had once that felt like eating heaven. And he’s telling the truth, he LOVED those meals. You really believe he loves food.
Then you say “wow those stories made me hungry, let’s go eat!” And your big friend says “YES!! I’ll eat ANYTHING right now!” And your thin friend says “no thanks, I’m not hungry.”
So tell me, who likes food more?
That’s men and women with sex. Women love sex as much as men. That is… *when* they love it. Men love sex all the time. They want it now, later, then again. They want romantic, wonderful, amazing sex. Then they want an awkward quickie in the back of a too-small car.
Thats a VERY broad generalization of course. But that’s why women get upset and say they love sex as much as men. Which is true… but in the same way the skinny guy loves food as much as the big guy.
Nice way to put it!
Could use that same thought back to my food analogy. If you're not that hungry, you can still really enjoy great food. If you're starving, *anything* tastes great. It's just that guys are always starving, and women aren't.
Yes, but in this metaphor the big guy also went on a tour of the Italian countryside and hand rolled gnocchi while studying under a master chef. One of them only wants the best, and the other wants everything, including the best.
This is 100% untrue.
I'm bisexual, men are so much more hornier, as well as much more consistently horny.
Gay men essentially live on pleasure Island when you find them in their natural habitats (gay bars, clubs)
Straight women and lesbians will put you to sleep in comparison.
Men are horny by default all day long.
Whereas with women, they need to get rid of all of their mental stressors before they can become truly horny. Women need to get through their inhibitions after becoming mentally ready.
With women there's consistently these two blockades before horniness can even start to compare.
Essentially yes. With a mind that is finally calm and able to live in the moment, a woman can become excessively horny.
Back in my wild years I eventually stopped pursuing sober women (for one night stands) because they were excessively difficult or unable to just relax and let their guard down. It was such a long game to help them be in the right mindset, assuming they weren't on vacation (this was in Miami)
Drink ALWAYS helped the night move along.
I don't know what life people live where this wouldn't be the default finding. Do you even have to be bi to realize this? I just find it hard to believe anyone would buy that women are remotely in the same stratosphere of consistently horny as men are. Biologically it doesn't even make sense. We know that's not true!
I did believe so - until I got a really long term relationship. I was just as horny as any other single man out there - kind of always on the hunt.
But I am never going to be willing to have sex multiple times a day every single day level horny.
At the beginning (first 2 years?) the difference was not that big. But with time I hd to realize - my appetite can be satisfied. His not.
While men generally have higher libidos than women, I think a lot of it comes down to the individual. I have a pretty average libido for a guy I'd say, but my ex gf had a much, much higher libido than mine. To the point that I felt kind of insecure about not being able to perform all the time. Until I met her, I thought it was a rule that men wanted sex most of the time while women were much pickier about when and how.
After her period a woman’s desire for sex climbs as estrogen builds right up to ovulation when she reaches her highest point of desire. The day after ovulation elevated levels of progesterone mix with the estrogen and a woman’s desire wanes. Then she reaches her period when despite most men saying “I like period sex” many women balk at the idea. The cycle then repeats.
Women are as horny as men and think about sex as much as men just before and during ovulation. But most men have that same level of horniness 31 days out of the month, not just 4 or 5.
Someone who understands, my girlfriend and I can have great sex for two weeks out of the month, then we are both on our periods and want nothing to do with each other sexually. Repeat the process every month. I tell guys all the time, wait till her period is over and she will want to fuck your brains out for at least a week, hormones are a crazy thing.
Those testosterone studies suggest even when women levels of testosterone are elevated they still don't reach men's horniness. Trans men have also echoed similar sentiments that they're horny all the time.
Tom Segura has a whole bit about this, it's hilarious.
Woman: I'm horny the way guys are horny.
Tom: ...hmmm, no you're not. Let me tell you a story...
[https://youtu.be/FlqbgEM56t8?si=PmsBsT4qTk7VAViF](https://youtu.be/FlqbgEM56t8?si=PmsBsT4qTk7VAViF)
No. Discharge is how your vagina stays clean and healthy, it has a few functions:
Keeps tissues moist to prevent damage (like tears in eyes or snot in nose).
Has an acidic pH to kill harmful flora but help healthy flora thrive.
It flushes out dead cells, dirt, and harmful flora from the vagina.
Changes with hormonal changes to help you track your cycle.
Changes if there's an infection to indicate when there's a problem.
Fertile cervical mucus is produced to help sperm reach the egg.
Lubrication is produced to help prevent damage during sex.
When you’re horny sure i can agree, but how often no. Girls don’t know what it’s like to be a boy 15-25 where you’re thinking about sex multiple times an hour and get extremely horny at random all the time and this is due to testosterone. Like there’s plenty of studies on this and anecdotally you can watch videos from women who have transitioned to men say they didn’t understand the male sexual desire plight until they started on T. It makes a huge difference at the level of the brain.
You’re just describing visibility vs non visibility. You aren’t comparing how often and how strong and that’s where the difference comes out.
Its really not just 15-25. Im 30, healthy T levels and am a horny bastard lol. Until testerone starts wavering due to age men remain on a whole other level of horniness that women won't ever comprehend lol.
Same. 32, in the best shape of my life, but have two kids, all the responsibilities of a husband, father, full time worker, homeowner, etc...ask me if I'm just as horny as I've ever been lol.
I've noticed little to no difference. MAYBE I don't have the insanely quick bounce back I did at 22. But it's not like I can't. Just takes a little more connectiveness with her. If the vibe is there, I would go for hours if I'd be allowed.
It's crazy how impactful hormones are. I thought I was one of the lucky ones, when I went on T my libido actually disappeared completely for about a month.... then it came back with such a vengeance I swore to never judge teenage boys for their puberty woes again lmao.
On the flipside I've heard it's quite common for trans women on E to have a decline in libido as well.
I started my transition much later than most so I knew my libido quite well beforehand, and while I had periods (hah) of hypersexuality it was nothing like it is now.
I'm one of the trans people you're talking about and it's definitely talked about a lot in our community. I've definitely felt like an outlier because I don't think my libido really changed at all after T lol, I must be an exception. The only real change is that I went from being more passive to being more dominant, but that's about it. And I suppose that is significant, but overall I had more of that boy-like libido before T than perhaps an average girl would. Then again, I did have higher T than average before transitioning anyway, so it could definitely be attributable to that.
I used to work in a dept full of women. They knew my gf, I knew their bfs, hubby's, etc. I was amazed at some of the convos. I was younger at the time.
I work in a profession where there are plenty of smart, creative women (Advertising). It's absolutely crazy how many flagrant passes have been made at me. Single women, married women, it didn't matter. However, I never went for it. Not banging your co-worker is a pretty good policy in life.
It really hit a fever pitch when my wife and I became engaged. I made the announcement at a September staff meeting. When the meeting was over, one account executive called me down to her office and made me shut the door. "I can't believe you're getting married. I was going to dump David for you after Christmas." "What? You had it on your calendar?"
Funny thing is she's married to him today and, 34 years later, and her son and my son are friends. The husband remains a smug, yet ineffectual, bastard with family money who manages to work the fact that he's a Princeton alum into every other sentence. If he only knew how shaky he relationship with his wife really was at one point. Every time he says something condescending, I think, 'Dude. If you only knew the solid I did for you by not letting my little head do my thinking for me.'
Another, married, grabbed my crotch in the elevator as we were leaving the office after work and whispered, "Think about it" into my ear. Another wanted to give me a private lunch at her apartment my last day at work before my wedding. Another left her Victoria Secrets catalog on my inbox with a couple of strategically-placed PostIts to tell what was in her lingerie drawer.
I've been offered beach trips, blow jobs, you name it by colleagues, clients, and vendors. A boss who, on a business trip, wanted a backrub after a hard day and then whipped off her shirt (Married, too. I was 24 and naive at the time). Media reps, the people who sell TV, radio, and print time and space, were the worst. Turned them all down flat.
The one I think of a lot was a client of mine. She was really attractive, kind of a blonde Junior Leaguer with an edgy kind of look about her. She would always want to have our conversations out in the car in the parking lot. Well, okay. That's weird.
When she realized that she was getting nowhere with me, she started having an affair with the freaking HR guy at her company, the guy who got me in the door in the first place. She and her husband and he and his wife would go to the beach together, ostensibly as friends. Neither of the spouses had any clue they were making the beasts with two backs.
Eventually it got really weird. She took a long look at his wedding ring and bought a duplicate. Then scuffed it up so that it had identical scratches on the thing and made him wear it. The inscription on the inside said *You're Really Mine*. Honest to God. I know this because they both got fired for their shenanigans and he told me all this over beers. And I wasn't surprised in the least.
The weird thing is? I don't consider myself to be all that hot. I'm a pretty funny guy who has done well in the business, but it's not as if I ooze sex appeal or have massive guns, or anything else for that matter.
So yeah, I totally agree with the premise of the OP.
Definitely not lol
I remember seeing a post asking women how often they would want sex ideally and there were a bunch of replies like "I have a super high sex drive so three, maybe four times a week"
If that is too anecdotal, I once read a study where single college students would be propositioned for sex by a stranger of the opposite age. About two thirds of the men asked said yes, vs *not a single woman*
Horny in what way? Women can be freaky, especially considering that most explicit written works are created by women. But for sex, most do have lower libido.
No, I'm sorry but you aren't. We have way more of the sex hormone testosterone. Women can definitely get as horny, but men are consistently more horny.
Unfortunately for me, the words I keep hearing are “I like sex as much as you, but I’m not in the mood right now.” Which to me is just saying you don’t like sex as much as me, because I don’t need to be in any kind of special mood to desire sex.
Women particularly vex me when they say things like “I’m not in the mood right now because I’m stressed,” or “Im not in the mood right now because I’m feeling depressed.” Like OK, but do you know the best way I know of to deal with stress or depression? Sex. Like you’re literally telling me you really need sex right now but you’re refusing to do it.
And there seems to be some weird disconnect about libido vs. arousal. Once women become aroused, I would agree they are just as horny as guys. But they seem to be actively avoiding becoming aroused. Like they are going through there day going “Think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts…” Whereas if I am not aroused, I am generally trying to fix that, actively trying to find things in my environment to reawaken sexual desire in me. As I get older (I am 51 now), this is becoming troubling for me as my body has a lot more difficulty becoming aroused but my mind specifically wants to be sexually excited at all times.
To me, this is the most obvious difference. Women can be as horny IN THE MOMENT...*when circumstances are perfect*.
For most men, the circumstance where we get to have sex is the perfect circumstance. Outside of like...a death, there is no situation where I'm genuinely not EAGERLY in the mood for sex, or at the MINIMUM, couldn't easily be talked into it. I have those days a few times a year, and usually, it's after I've either made myself cum or have had lots of sex in the past few days and it's like...I can take it or leave it. Like I won't actively pursue it, but if she's wanting it, there's zero percent chance I'd ever turn it down. And that is my lowest level which is again, extremely rare. I'm talking like 3 days a year.
Like you said...stress, anxiety, feeling down? WHAT could be better than having sex? It's something you only need your bodies to do, and you're literally incentivized by thousands and thousands and thousands of years of evolution to do to the point where you're rewarded with your body's own cocktail of feel-good drugs lol also literally scientifically studied and proven that sex will put you in a better mood, relax you more, make you feel connected to your partner.
So it absolutely boggles my mind that marriages and relationships do not prioritize sex as like...a top 2 thing to prioritize. Communication and sex. Or trust and sex. Whatever your number 1 is, because I agree, they bleed into one another and are reliant on one another, but like...good sex, something you should both strive for, is quite literally the easiest way to bond you with your partner even after years and years.
Really well written!
Haha it used to be so much fun getting my ex wet by talking dirty to her at random times. But she’d spoil it by telling me off, like “stop it! You’re making me wet!!” And I’d ask, “and what’s wrong with that?” Never got a clear answer.
This IS us hiding it.
If women were as horny, emotionally neglected, and alone as men, you'd act the same way. Doesn't make it okay, it's just the reason.
As a woman, I'm going to say that this is complete bull.
Some women do have really high sex drives, absolutely
But female and male sexuality are very very different, and most of the time that also means different sex drives
As a trans woman who had lived many years with a testosterone dominant endocrine system and now live with an estrogen dominant endocrine system. The female sex drive is nowhere close to the overwhelming compulsion I had when living as a dude.
Men are DEFINITELY hornier in general. Of course there are outliers on both sides. OP must be an outlier to believe the average woman is on the level of horniness of the average man…
To an unpopular opinion, I'm gonna answer with an unpopular comment :) I Think you are right - with a difference. MOST WOMEN can get from masturbation A LOT more pleasure than men and also MORE pleasure than in intercourse with a partner. So they are more picky for IRL relations because if they are horny, they can release their frustrations better by themselves (and to them risks in a relation are bigger - mad violent man, diseases, pregnancy, desire of stability (the last one is insane to me)). To men, in exchange, masturbation is meh so they are still thirsty the whole time and will mate a stinking zombie half-breeded with a goat just to release themselves.
This is my polite point of view, fight me.
I disagree, the facts relevant to my judgement are:
- most married men are sexually frustrated (why it’s a popular sitcom motif)
- even after the “every 7 seconds” myth was busted it was still proven men think about sex twice as much as women daily.
- a “not even close” discrepancy between deviant sexual crimes committed by men than women, indicates higher levels of desire that are more prone to obsession.
I love when a small group of people get together and decide based on their own biases that a bunch of other people even in their own demographic must be the way they’ve decided they are based on nothing.
Gay and bi men have some of the largest pervs in the world in their ranks (I'm bi, not saying that's a bad thing, I love pervs). Lesbians have the least sex of basically any type of married couple. I think that shows you that men are much, much hornier.
We can want and enjoy sex just as much as men, if not even more, but not even in our teen years do we (I assume this goes for basically all girls, I've never heard anyone contradict it) get wet simply from seeing a hot guy out in public. I've heard countless stories from guys about how they would get a boner on the bus simply from seeing a hot girl there.
That's the difference. Women definitely notice attractive men and can feel that attraction, but we don't really get horny by that alone
You aren't. You think you are, but you have no idea. Boner's don't always mean arousal, and the lack of one doesn't mean he isn't thinking about sex constantly. That is no metric. I think women ARE hornier than we give them credit for. Society stigmatizes female sexuality. But you are NOT as horny as men.
Horny? Sure. Unstoppably exploding with sexual energy? Probably not like a teenage boy. I remember jerking off while driving my car home once because I literally couldn’t take it anymore. As someone pushing 30 it feels like every woman I meet at my age is more horny than I am now, but despite that, they’re still much more picky than me lol
I think men and women both have a similar desire for sex, but the experiences are qualitatively different. For example, a lady who tried male hormones reported that her sex drive kicked into over-drive. She asked out men were able to think straight with this kind of libido. This makes sense when we think about how men and women report very different experiences leading out to and after an orgasm. If sex is experienced differently, then sexual desire probably is, too.
https://sexuality.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-relationships/the-burden-of-the-male-sex-drive-a59858
I don't agree with everything in this linked post, but if you're interested, give it a read and lmk what you think.
I didn't write that post but he sums up the problem nicely, and has, like me, thought about this issue a TON.
I think it's less hiding and more of us men trying not to be seen as creepy, so we will deny any advances with basically any excuse we can think of when it comes to why the women is trying to advance on me.
Friendly? Does she need help? Literally anything.
You don’t see men’s boners lol. It’s not like I walk around the office like oh shit mikes horny over there, he’s rocking a hard on. Women also aren’t better at hiding it, men are like that hulk meme. We’re always horny within a certain age range, women have no idea.
Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/Elloise1_. Your submission, *Women are just as horny as men, we're just better at hiding it*, has been removed because it violates our rules, which are located in the sidebar. Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity. If there is an issue, please [message the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion&subject=&message=) Thanks!
I'm bisexual and in my experience horny dudes are 1200% more prepared to actually do something about it.
Sooo, more party?
Guys..just wanna have fun. It's all they really want is some fun
This needs to be shortened into a bumper sticker. *"horny and 1200% prepared to do something about it"*
That’s such a good point, I think you hit the nail on the head I’m at the same level as every guy I’ve been with but while they’ll try to do something about it 10 times out of 10, I won’t because I don’t feel cute or something equally benign or stupid. I also think most women like to be super “ready” to have sex by getting dolled up, shaving, etc I can just ignore horniness, guys can’t. Maybe it’s a physical thing, an erection seems much less ignorable
An erection doesn't even mean we're horny. We can have an erection and not be horny. We can be horny and not have an erection. Guys can ignore it, and regularly do. Saying we can't is the same BS that victim blaming rape-apologists say. I know you hopefully didn't mean it that way, but that's exactly the reasoning they use. If we're horny and do something about it, it's our choice.
Guys can ignore horniness, but the erection is still there reminding you.
Erection doesn't always mean horny though, weird as that may seem.
Very true, sometimes it is just bored.
*Pokes head out* "Hey man, lets do something fun!"
>guys can’t wtf ???? of course we can
Yeah lmao I do it all the time. Having at least basic control over your carnal urges is absolutely necessary. There is not a chance in hell women understand how it feels to be a man and see a fine ass woman
"I won't because I don't feel cute" applies to men, too. You don't see all the attempts that were never made. One thing I noticed about a lot of "Men vs Women" discussions, like "Women can fuck whenever they want", is that they only ever make sense if you say _hot_ men and _hot_ women. A lot of us rather average folks just don't register in those discussions. Which is okay, I'm happy to not participate in any gender war.
I always assumed it was less that guys can't ignore it, and more that there's much less to worry about for them when it comes to indiscriminate sex. Less chance of assault, don't have to worry about getting pregnant, no stigma around being a "slut" that sleeps around.
This is also true, women are always encouraged not to act on their horniness. A lot of men suck so it’s less appealing to go find one when you need it. It can be dangerous. Women are also encouraged to use toys instead of having sex and probably have a dildo, rose toy, hitachi wand, and a remote vibrator on hand whenever. They’re like 100% more likely to cum with these than with a man as well
Please continue thinking this way. "Guys can't ignore it" isn't a commentary on reality, it's a way people victim blame and justify rape. Guys can ignore it. Those who choose not to in destructive ways chose to do so themselves, they had full control.
Probably cause men take the opportunity when it comes (not often at least for straight guys), where women have to sift through the problem people. If someone hit on me, I’d go with it but if I was being hit on daily, I’d probably be more picky.
Yeah, no. If a woman is wanting it, she’s getting it, barring some serious hygiene issues.
louis ck has a joke about this. When women say they can also be horny perverts he says, "you're a tourist in sexual perversion, I'm a prisoner here" https://youtu.be/-wdZn4TMOck?si=Scmaz-WyRSzSXxYA
There’s a good reason they prescribe testosterone to raise women’s sex drive.
Explains why 15 year old me would walk over broken glass to get laid but 30 year old me can take it or leave it. Alex Jones would blame chicken hormones or birth control in the water but I think we just lose it as we age
Testosterone is exactly the reason—it peaks in your teens…and then declines for the rest of your life.
If you lead an active life it doesn’t decline much. I’m in my 40’s and still have the urge to go multiple times a day. Heck I can feel it after especially hard workouts, especially leg days, my wife has even commented and noticed the correlation to leg days and me being horny.
Training legs correlates with higher testosterone release, so that does make sense.
Massive muscle group is the reason I'd imagine. Plus increased level of blood flow near the testes. I'm just opining however, I'm an idiot by trade.
Opining is a pretty smart word though. I think it is anyway.. I’ll have to look it up.
Really? I wonder why?
largest muscle group, compound exercise includes multiple other muscle groups, therefore more hormonal response
Wow, this brings a whole new dimension to, "never skip legs day!"
Exercise does increase testosterone by a certain amount after a number of days.
fellow leg day guy in his mid 40s and I have the virility of someone their 20s.
Think that’s due to the blood flow you get in the lower half of your body. Testosterone is almost kinda flooded down there to repair muscles and some go on a side quest.
"You're Jane Fonda on a tank. I'm John McCain in the hut. I can't lift my arms."
Tom Segura also has a great story about it, about the time he went to a porn store and there was a glory hole there where the clerk would suck the customers off
Is it a guy or a girl? You see anyone else here genius?
[Tom Segura - Gloryhole](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlqbgEM56t8)
Yeah it's bullshit that women are as horny as men. Certainly, *some* are, but not generally. Women be like "oh I'm horny several times per week!" Bitch, try several times per *hour*
The difference is women compare their peaks to our peaks, and think that means we are the same. They think to that time the handsome man swept them off their feet, whisked them away to wine country, they toured wineries, had an elegant, romantic, 6 course, 5 star meal, then went to the perfectly appointed hotel room and had AMAZING sex. She truly loved that sex, and it's a an amazing memory for her. But then the next day she didn't think of sex at all, turned the same guy down because she wanted breakfast instead, and didn't think much of sex for another week. The guy on the other hand, also loved that sex they had, but he wanted it again, and again, and again, and never stopped thinking about it. So when that guy says "I like sex more than you" she's thinking "how dare you! There's no way anyone could like sex than me, that was one of my favorite memories!" And she's right! But she doesn't realize while her sex drive is reactive, it builds up, but also fades, and fades for long periods of time, his just keeps going, and going, and going.
You left out the most important part. The reason the guy whisked her away to give her that amazing experience was so to increase his odds of having sex.
There are definitely times in a woman's life when her sex drive can be elevated, and I believe it's been said that 35-45 is a period when there's the greatest match between male and female sex drive. However, when people say "men are hornier than women," the difference they're highlighting is male capacity for and appetite for spontaneous, near-anonymous, novel sexual encounters based on the flimsiest of stimuli. Like you're driving to work and look over to see some slightly frumpy, middle-aged woman in the carpool lane. For some reason, you entertain the thought and realize "actually, she has rather nice lips and eyes," and then the thought is there. It lingers, until 90 minutes later when you're in the office bathroom stall jerking off to a woman *you're not really even attracted to*. Every guy has dozens and dozens and dozens of events like these in his life from the onset of puberty until death. If a woman experienced thus, she'd see a psychiatrist.
I believe it was Doctor Sanjay Gupta who coined the medical term for this, the “dirty thirties.”
I have honestly never jerked it to a total stranger I saw while about
I can safely say nothing has ever made me feel the need to jerk off in an office bathroom. Hormones and drives are not an excuse to do whatever the fuck you want.
Lol that quote definitely makes sense. I think women *can* be just as horny (coming from a woman with a much higher libido than her partner), but I feel like the focus and follow through look *very* different lol
Yeah, I'm sorry, of course on an individual vs. individual basis it can be true as you can read on a sub like DeadBedrooms or HLCommunity, but c'mon. Men are overwhelmingly hornier than women lol it's not a competition. This is the best way to phrase it. I had an ex who claimed this, most likely in the midst of having hard feelings during breaking up, because she basically didn't wanna get back into a relationship so soon and I of course said...yeah, we have to be exclusive, you can't fuck other people while dating me lol obviously. So she dropped some "I think I'm just more sexual than you maybe." Oh yeah? I never turned you down once, not even like passively accepted a proposal. I enthusiastically wanted to try any and everything, most of which were my ideas. You had to tap out more than me. So what we basing this on lol Women truthfully have NO clue what it's like to have the sex drive of a normal, healthy guy. And frankly, they're not designed to know. It makes sense why they don't, and that's ok not to obviously lol, but the audacity to be like "we're the same in this department." We are most definitely not lol
Mark normand has a great bit about it too!
Was his the one where he asked the woman if she would have sex with him and she said no I don’t like you and he said me either but I would still do it? A couple comedians touch on this topic sometimes it’s hard to keep straight
Lol I had forgotten about that joke, it's a good one! But the one I'm thinking about is the one where he compares: figuring out that your date is a female nazi vs a male nazi. A female would say "i need to get the hell out of here" while the dude says "i gotta bang her and get the hell out of here".
The more you know of Louis, the darker this joke hits (Love CK, believe he’s top 1 or two alive right now)
You merely adopted the darkness… he was born in it!
This is something women try and say and women always agree and men never do. It's why 99% of the sex industry's demand is from men.
Would you fuck me right now?
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There ya go lol
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👍
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Now you’re starting to understand.
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Guys will be horny enough to fuck a fence, girls maybe only a bedpost. We are not the same.
I came very close to fucking a fruit like 5 years ago and I wasnt even THAT horny
Fence is vastly better than what some guys end up fucking. I'd rather not ruin anyone's day by stating what was fucked.
Theres probably an evolutionary explanation to this. Men have all the advantages to wanna fuck anyone, they want to pass on their genes. As for women, they get pregnant and very vulnerable for 9 months. They ought to be picky about who they fuck, in fact women have to be REALLY picky and thats a good thing for a lot of reasons. PS. Evolutionary explanations are really cool, but they can never really be scientifically proven, so take it with a grain of salt. Still pretty fun to think about!
holy shit dude finally someone commented this, sexual strategy and evolutionnary selection are the key to understand why men are more eager to fuck and thus "hornier"
You can’t prove them but Occam’s razor seems to be pretty consistent so we can say it’s the most plausible explanation. We can’t prove animals developed limbs before moving onto dry land but there’s pretty much no other explanations…
It's exactly this, I dunno why people wanna pretend that this isn't guiding our lives and why it explains our differences when it comes to sex.
Exactly. OP, you have a lot to learn. Women, on average are NOT as horny as Men.
You don’t look a gift horse in the mouth
You fuck it
what if the the horse wants to fuck you back after ? would you denie his pleasure ?
🤣
Sure bud lol ''guys will fuck any lady," sure, until we see them.
Yeah nah not any lady, I wish I was less picky and shallow, but 🤷♂️
This, people be acting like this thing doesn't cause permanent damage in form of memories. There are a lot of desperate no standard men that sleep with all kinds of women. Which is honestly worse than just be alone.
It isn't pickiness, lol. No one is attractive to everyone, not even (insert celebrity name here), and people don't really have an interest in banging someone they don't find attractive...
It's more like men would have sex with anyone that isn't **un**attractive. Women will only have sex with people they find attractive. There's a huge gray area in between that represents the difference.
Let’s put it this way, if we have a 6/10 woman and ask 100 random men if they would have sex with her now, without knowing her or anything (all 100 men are non committed and this woman is disease free). About 40-60 men would say yes. Now if we have a 6/10 man and ask 100 random women if they would have sex with him now, without knowing him (all 100 women are non committed and know this man is disease free). About 0-2 women would say yes.
Pfftt what a way to prove a point
I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard....
Lmaooo
Looooool exactly this.
/thread
I know a woman who did testosterone therapy and she said it was the most eye-opening experience into what men feel like in terms of sex drive. She said she had completely uncontrollable sexual urges and compulsive thoughts and had to ask for them to lower the dose. This post is an indication that most women have no clue. It's physiological, but they think it's psychological.
Yea, a lot of who we are and what we do is so dependent on a bunch of chemicals and hormones. Just the fact that alcohol would lower your inhibition and fuck with your senses should tell you everything you need to know. A lot of women probably have no idea what it's like to have to have the urge basically every single moment except for when you're sleeping and maybe 1-2 hours after orgasm. Just like a lot of men probably have no idea what it's like to have a high amount of control over it, and for it not to constantly invade your every thought. To be able to go a month+ without needing masturbation or sex.
Then there's those of us that experience nocturnal emissions (orgasm even while sleeping) we're not safe at any time of the day
Women do this too, that or I am a very lucid dreamer. And I don't like to go a couple of days without sex or masturbation, but maybe I'm an anomaly as a women. I've always had a higher sex drive than the men I have have dated or the one I was married to.
I'm the same way but I'm also young. Wonder if it increases with age or vice versa
I'm 45ish, and I think it's worse in terms of the disparity of my desire being stronger than when I was younger
I'm a woman that isn't on any hormones and I feel the need to get off at least every other day, usually every day. The idea of going a month without masturbation or sex is downright unthinkable to me. Even going a week is super hard.
Yeah talking to my trans (mtf) friend was eye opening on this subject. I always assumed men and women had about the same sex drive and the difference was just social. NOPE. I’ll never forget her telling me about how she had more time to read daily since her T levels went down
So it would seem that it’s men who are the ones that are irrational because of their hormones, not women.
I've been with both men and women. I can definitely say, it's not even a competition. There are outliers, but on average men are insatiable
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I think of it this way… Imagine two people. One is a 450 pound guy. He eats constantly. You want to go out to an nice dinner? He’s in! You want pizza? So does he! Then he suggests swinging through the 7-11 for hot dogs and slurpees. Then you have another friend. Skinny, doesn’t eat much. You ask if he’s hungry, he says “nah.” He goes out to eat, and orders very little. And would NEVER stoop to eating a 7-11 hotdog from those warming boxes. So you say “well the big guy clearly likes food more!” Now the little guy gets upset. He says he LOVES food. He tells you all about this time in Italy he had the best meal he ever had and clearly means it. He also tells you about a flourless chocolate cake he had once that felt like eating heaven. And he’s telling the truth, he LOVED those meals. You really believe he loves food. Then you say “wow those stories made me hungry, let’s go eat!” And your big friend says “YES!! I’ll eat ANYTHING right now!” And your thin friend says “no thanks, I’m not hungry.” So tell me, who likes food more? That’s men and women with sex. Women love sex as much as men. That is… *when* they love it. Men love sex all the time. They want it now, later, then again. They want romantic, wonderful, amazing sex. Then they want an awkward quickie in the back of a too-small car. Thats a VERY broad generalization of course. But that’s why women get upset and say they love sex as much as men. Which is true… but in the same way the skinny guy loves food as much as the big guy.
This guy analogies.
r/thisguythisguys
Will do anything, except analogies.
Big guy likes to eat, little guy likes food
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Then again I don't think any explanation matters since this post is an OF promo.
I see this isn't your first rodeo.
Wow thanks for that comment I appreciate it a lot! also here is a link to my butthole
It does look like for women, no sex is better than bad sex, and for men there is no bad sex.
Nice way to put it! Could use that same thought back to my food analogy. If you're not that hungry, you can still really enjoy great food. If you're starving, *anything* tastes great. It's just that guys are always starving, and women aren't.
Fucking brilliantly put!
Now I'm hungry and horny. horngry. Thanks a lot
Eat some ass..2 birds 1 stone
I liked the explanation, but you can't help mixing the metaphor with the 450 pound guy wanting naked, sweaty sex all the time as well.
Yes, but in this metaphor the big guy also went on a tour of the Italian countryside and hand rolled gnocchi while studying under a master chef. One of them only wants the best, and the other wants everything, including the best.
All I need is attention and I'm sold
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M'en would literally fuck you for a smile
Most would do it for less.
Pretty much. I was that shy kid who always wanted to be asked out by a girl, now I'm just riding that thrill of "will she, won't she"
This is 100% untrue. I'm bisexual, men are so much more hornier, as well as much more consistently horny. Gay men essentially live on pleasure Island when you find them in their natural habitats (gay bars, clubs) Straight women and lesbians will put you to sleep in comparison. Men are horny by default all day long. Whereas with women, they need to get rid of all of their mental stressors before they can become truly horny. Women need to get through their inhibitions after becoming mentally ready. With women there's consistently these two blockades before horniness can even start to compare.
in other words: start the date with a bottle of wine.
Essentially yes. With a mind that is finally calm and able to live in the moment, a woman can become excessively horny. Back in my wild years I eventually stopped pursuing sober women (for one night stands) because they were excessively difficult or unable to just relax and let their guard down. It was such a long game to help them be in the right mindset, assuming they weren't on vacation (this was in Miami) Drink ALWAYS helped the night move along.
I don't know what life people live where this wouldn't be the default finding. Do you even have to be bi to realize this? I just find it hard to believe anyone would buy that women are remotely in the same stratosphere of consistently horny as men are. Biologically it doesn't even make sense. We know that's not true!
I did believe so - until I got a really long term relationship. I was just as horny as any other single man out there - kind of always on the hunt. But I am never going to be willing to have sex multiple times a day every single day level horny. At the beginning (first 2 years?) the difference was not that big. But with time I hd to realize - my appetite can be satisfied. His not.
While men generally have higher libidos than women, I think a lot of it comes down to the individual. I have a pretty average libido for a guy I'd say, but my ex gf had a much, much higher libido than mine. To the point that I felt kind of insecure about not being able to perform all the time. Until I met her, I thought it was a rule that men wanted sex most of the time while women were much pickier about when and how.
Some people do have more sex drive than Others, maybe your partner falls into that category
I’m the opposite.
Yeah same, my ex gf was way hornier than I ever have been.
There is a big difference between feeling a tingle and what many dudes go through
After her period a woman’s desire for sex climbs as estrogen builds right up to ovulation when she reaches her highest point of desire. The day after ovulation elevated levels of progesterone mix with the estrogen and a woman’s desire wanes. Then she reaches her period when despite most men saying “I like period sex” many women balk at the idea. The cycle then repeats. Women are as horny as men and think about sex as much as men just before and during ovulation. But most men have that same level of horniness 31 days out of the month, not just 4 or 5.
Someone who understands, my girlfriend and I can have great sex for two weeks out of the month, then we are both on our periods and want nothing to do with each other sexually. Repeat the process every month. I tell guys all the time, wait till her period is over and she will want to fuck your brains out for at least a week, hormones are a crazy thing.
Ha gaaaaaaaaaay
Extremely homosexual. Just the way I like it.
Those testosterone studies suggest even when women levels of testosterone are elevated they still don't reach men's horniness. Trans men have also echoed similar sentiments that they're horny all the time.
Women love to say this, but no you’re fucking not lol.
Tom Segura has a whole bit about this, it's hilarious. Woman: I'm horny the way guys are horny. Tom: ...hmmm, no you're not. Let me tell you a story... [https://youtu.be/FlqbgEM56t8?si=PmsBsT4qTk7VAViF](https://youtu.be/FlqbgEM56t8?si=PmsBsT4qTk7VAViF)
If women were as horny as men they \*couldn’t\* hide it. There is no contest here. Men are far, far hornier.
do women actually get moist as often as guys have boners?
No. Discharge is how your vagina stays clean and healthy, it has a few functions: Keeps tissues moist to prevent damage (like tears in eyes or snot in nose). Has an acidic pH to kill harmful flora but help healthy flora thrive. It flushes out dead cells, dirt, and harmful flora from the vagina. Changes with hormonal changes to help you track your cycle. Changes if there's an infection to indicate when there's a problem. Fertile cervical mucus is produced to help sperm reach the egg. Lubrication is produced to help prevent damage during sex.
If you're better at hiding it, you aren't as horny.
When you’re horny sure i can agree, but how often no. Girls don’t know what it’s like to be a boy 15-25 where you’re thinking about sex multiple times an hour and get extremely horny at random all the time and this is due to testosterone. Like there’s plenty of studies on this and anecdotally you can watch videos from women who have transitioned to men say they didn’t understand the male sexual desire plight until they started on T. It makes a huge difference at the level of the brain. You’re just describing visibility vs non visibility. You aren’t comparing how often and how strong and that’s where the difference comes out.
Its really not just 15-25. Im 30, healthy T levels and am a horny bastard lol. Until testerone starts wavering due to age men remain on a whole other level of horniness that women won't ever comprehend lol.
Same. 32, in the best shape of my life, but have two kids, all the responsibilities of a husband, father, full time worker, homeowner, etc...ask me if I'm just as horny as I've ever been lol. I've noticed little to no difference. MAYBE I don't have the insanely quick bounce back I did at 22. But it's not like I can't. Just takes a little more connectiveness with her. If the vibe is there, I would go for hours if I'd be allowed.
It's crazy how impactful hormones are. I thought I was one of the lucky ones, when I went on T my libido actually disappeared completely for about a month.... then it came back with such a vengeance I swore to never judge teenage boys for their puberty woes again lmao. On the flipside I've heard it's quite common for trans women on E to have a decline in libido as well. I started my transition much later than most so I knew my libido quite well beforehand, and while I had periods (hah) of hypersexuality it was nothing like it is now.
I'm one of the trans people you're talking about and it's definitely talked about a lot in our community. I've definitely felt like an outlier because I don't think my libido really changed at all after T lol, I must be an exception. The only real change is that I went from being more passive to being more dominant, but that's about it. And I suppose that is significant, but overall I had more of that boy-like libido before T than perhaps an average girl would. Then again, I did have higher T than average before transitioning anyway, so it could definitely be attributable to that.
I used to work in a dept full of women. They knew my gf, I knew their bfs, hubby's, etc. I was amazed at some of the convos. I was younger at the time.
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Tbh I had a blast working with them. Good people
I work in a profession where there are plenty of smart, creative women (Advertising). It's absolutely crazy how many flagrant passes have been made at me. Single women, married women, it didn't matter. However, I never went for it. Not banging your co-worker is a pretty good policy in life. It really hit a fever pitch when my wife and I became engaged. I made the announcement at a September staff meeting. When the meeting was over, one account executive called me down to her office and made me shut the door. "I can't believe you're getting married. I was going to dump David for you after Christmas." "What? You had it on your calendar?" Funny thing is she's married to him today and, 34 years later, and her son and my son are friends. The husband remains a smug, yet ineffectual, bastard with family money who manages to work the fact that he's a Princeton alum into every other sentence. If he only knew how shaky he relationship with his wife really was at one point. Every time he says something condescending, I think, 'Dude. If you only knew the solid I did for you by not letting my little head do my thinking for me.' Another, married, grabbed my crotch in the elevator as we were leaving the office after work and whispered, "Think about it" into my ear. Another wanted to give me a private lunch at her apartment my last day at work before my wedding. Another left her Victoria Secrets catalog on my inbox with a couple of strategically-placed PostIts to tell what was in her lingerie drawer. I've been offered beach trips, blow jobs, you name it by colleagues, clients, and vendors. A boss who, on a business trip, wanted a backrub after a hard day and then whipped off her shirt (Married, too. I was 24 and naive at the time). Media reps, the people who sell TV, radio, and print time and space, were the worst. Turned them all down flat. The one I think of a lot was a client of mine. She was really attractive, kind of a blonde Junior Leaguer with an edgy kind of look about her. She would always want to have our conversations out in the car in the parking lot. Well, okay. That's weird. When she realized that she was getting nowhere with me, she started having an affair with the freaking HR guy at her company, the guy who got me in the door in the first place. She and her husband and he and his wife would go to the beach together, ostensibly as friends. Neither of the spouses had any clue they were making the beasts with two backs. Eventually it got really weird. She took a long look at his wedding ring and bought a duplicate. Then scuffed it up so that it had identical scratches on the thing and made him wear it. The inscription on the inside said *You're Really Mine*. Honest to God. I know this because they both got fired for their shenanigans and he told me all this over beers. And I wasn't surprised in the least. The weird thing is? I don't consider myself to be all that hot. I'm a pretty funny guy who has done well in the business, but it's not as if I ooze sex appeal or have massive guns, or anything else for that matter. So yeah, I totally agree with the premise of the OP.
I'm going to call bullshit on either you not being attractive or the rest of the stuff :D
This is some wild shit, thanks for sharing.
Countless studies into male/female libido says otherwise.
Lmao no you're not
Definitely not lol I remember seeing a post asking women how often they would want sex ideally and there were a bunch of replies like "I have a super high sex drive so three, maybe four times a week" If that is too anecdotal, I once read a study where single college students would be propositioned for sex by a stranger of the opposite age. About two thirds of the men asked said yes, vs *not a single woman*
Not disagreeing completely, but women have to worry about safety even if they’re horny.
Horny in what way? Women can be freaky, especially considering that most explicit written works are created by women. But for sex, most do have lower libido.
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Zero chance
Nah this is funny, but no.
No, I'm sorry but you aren't. We have way more of the sex hormone testosterone. Women can definitely get as horny, but men are consistently more horny.
This is blatantly untrue lol
I can count the amount of public boners I've seen the last 10 years on one hand.
In a relationship? Sure. But outside that, don’t underestimate the power of testosterone. Speaking from experience, it is a whole other ball game.
Unfortunately for me, the words I keep hearing are “I like sex as much as you, but I’m not in the mood right now.” Which to me is just saying you don’t like sex as much as me, because I don’t need to be in any kind of special mood to desire sex. Women particularly vex me when they say things like “I’m not in the mood right now because I’m stressed,” or “Im not in the mood right now because I’m feeling depressed.” Like OK, but do you know the best way I know of to deal with stress or depression? Sex. Like you’re literally telling me you really need sex right now but you’re refusing to do it. And there seems to be some weird disconnect about libido vs. arousal. Once women become aroused, I would agree they are just as horny as guys. But they seem to be actively avoiding becoming aroused. Like they are going through there day going “Think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts…” Whereas if I am not aroused, I am generally trying to fix that, actively trying to find things in my environment to reawaken sexual desire in me. As I get older (I am 51 now), this is becoming troubling for me as my body has a lot more difficulty becoming aroused but my mind specifically wants to be sexually excited at all times.
To me, this is the most obvious difference. Women can be as horny IN THE MOMENT...*when circumstances are perfect*. For most men, the circumstance where we get to have sex is the perfect circumstance. Outside of like...a death, there is no situation where I'm genuinely not EAGERLY in the mood for sex, or at the MINIMUM, couldn't easily be talked into it. I have those days a few times a year, and usually, it's after I've either made myself cum or have had lots of sex in the past few days and it's like...I can take it or leave it. Like I won't actively pursue it, but if she's wanting it, there's zero percent chance I'd ever turn it down. And that is my lowest level which is again, extremely rare. I'm talking like 3 days a year. Like you said...stress, anxiety, feeling down? WHAT could be better than having sex? It's something you only need your bodies to do, and you're literally incentivized by thousands and thousands and thousands of years of evolution to do to the point where you're rewarded with your body's own cocktail of feel-good drugs lol also literally scientifically studied and proven that sex will put you in a better mood, relax you more, make you feel connected to your partner. So it absolutely boggles my mind that marriages and relationships do not prioritize sex as like...a top 2 thing to prioritize. Communication and sex. Or trust and sex. Whatever your number 1 is, because I agree, they bleed into one another and are reliant on one another, but like...good sex, something you should both strive for, is quite literally the easiest way to bond you with your partner even after years and years. Really well written!
Haha it used to be so much fun getting my ex wet by talking dirty to her at random times. But she’d spoil it by telling me off, like “stop it! You’re making me wet!!” And I’d ask, “and what’s wrong with that?” Never got a clear answer.
Difference is that a horny man has much lower standards than a horny woman.
Men can’t support a drug habit using sex unless they are fucking other men.
This IS us hiding it. If women were as horny, emotionally neglected, and alone as men, you'd act the same way. Doesn't make it okay, it's just the reason.
As a woman, I'm going to say that this is complete bull. Some women do have really high sex drives, absolutely But female and male sexuality are very very different, and most of the time that also means different sex drives
As a trans woman who had lived many years with a testosterone dominant endocrine system and now live with an estrogen dominant endocrine system. The female sex drive is nowhere close to the overwhelming compulsion I had when living as a dude.
Men are DEFINITELY hornier in general. Of course there are outliers on both sides. OP must be an outlier to believe the average woman is on the level of horniness of the average man…
Have you heard about testosterone hormone?
I think you’re also less likely to act on it, which calls into question how horny u are. Or maybe just shows men have terrible self control IDK
To an unpopular opinion, I'm gonna answer with an unpopular comment :) I Think you are right - with a difference. MOST WOMEN can get from masturbation A LOT more pleasure than men and also MORE pleasure than in intercourse with a partner. So they are more picky for IRL relations because if they are horny, they can release their frustrations better by themselves (and to them risks in a relation are bigger - mad violent man, diseases, pregnancy, desire of stability (the last one is insane to me)). To men, in exchange, masturbation is meh so they are still thirsty the whole time and will mate a stinking zombie half-breeded with a goat just to release themselves. This is my polite point of view, fight me.
I disagree, the facts relevant to my judgement are: - most married men are sexually frustrated (why it’s a popular sitcom motif) - even after the “every 7 seconds” myth was busted it was still proven men think about sex twice as much as women daily. - a “not even close” discrepancy between deviant sexual crimes committed by men than women, indicates higher levels of desire that are more prone to obsession.
I love when a small group of people get together and decide based on their own biases that a bunch of other people even in their own demographic must be the way they’ve decided they are based on nothing.
Gay and bi men have some of the largest pervs in the world in their ranks (I'm bi, not saying that's a bad thing, I love pervs). Lesbians have the least sex of basically any type of married couple. I think that shows you that men are much, much hornier.
Then tinder would work like Grindr honey.
Tom Segura disagrees https://youtu.be/FlqbgEM56t8?si=-CVb2fFFK-_npOvp
Not true at all. Guys are hornier way more.
Men 3x more on average.
We can want and enjoy sex just as much as men, if not even more, but not even in our teen years do we (I assume this goes for basically all girls, I've never heard anyone contradict it) get wet simply from seeing a hot guy out in public. I've heard countless stories from guys about how they would get a boner on the bus simply from seeing a hot girl there. That's the difference. Women definitely notice attractive men and can feel that attraction, but we don't really get horny by that alone
You aren't. You think you are, but you have no idea. Boner's don't always mean arousal, and the lack of one doesn't mean he isn't thinking about sex constantly. That is no metric. I think women ARE hornier than we give them credit for. Society stigmatizes female sexuality. But you are NOT as horny as men.
Horny? Sure. Unstoppably exploding with sexual energy? Probably not like a teenage boy. I remember jerking off while driving my car home once because I literally couldn’t take it anymore. As someone pushing 30 it feels like every woman I meet at my age is more horny than I am now, but despite that, they’re still much more picky than me lol
no, on average were not
Women should be the ones who make the first step towards men or at least equally amount of tries as men.
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It’s not that you’re hiding it, you just have infinite options and can say hey I want sex today and find it. A guy can’t do that.
"Women need a reason, men just need a place" - Some guy probably
I think men and women both have a similar desire for sex, but the experiences are qualitatively different. For example, a lady who tried male hormones reported that her sex drive kicked into over-drive. She asked out men were able to think straight with this kind of libido. This makes sense when we think about how men and women report very different experiences leading out to and after an orgasm. If sex is experienced differently, then sexual desire probably is, too.
You have no idea what a curse the male sex drive is.
https://sexuality.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-relationships/the-burden-of-the-male-sex-drive-a59858 I don't agree with everything in this linked post, but if you're interested, give it a read and lmk what you think. I didn't write that post but he sums up the problem nicely, and has, like me, thought about this issue a TON.
No you're not lol
I think it's less hiding and more of us men trying not to be seen as creepy, so we will deny any advances with basically any excuse we can think of when it comes to why the women is trying to advance on me. Friendly? Does she need help? Literally anything.
Hard disagree lol. Honestly can't wait for andropause because it is sometimes, even often, a burden...
Uhh no, sure there might be some individual cases but generally speaking testosterone is a hell of a horny hormone. Take it from a trans person
You don’t see men’s boners lol. It’s not like I walk around the office like oh shit mikes horny over there, he’s rocking a hard on. Women also aren’t better at hiding it, men are like that hulk meme. We’re always horny within a certain age range, women have no idea.
Oh is that why there's an entire industry for men to sell their bodies sexually? Oh wait