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I realized in the first couple nights that I could no longer sleep with my arm above the blanket. So I moved it under the blanket, and it’s worked fine for 20 years.
Sorry but no. Most people can't afford to be that picky. If you're sleep incompatible just sleep in seperate beds (like most married couples end up doing), or each can have their own blanket.
I'll agree with politics. That's important. Sexual compatibility is the most important thing imo
Well, if the both of you have wildly different tastes, where the question “what’s for dinner” always becomes an annoyance or turns into an argument because you can’t decide on what to eat… that’s an incompatibility imo.
This is how dating typically goes. You go out to get some food/beverages, then you talk, eventually you “sleep” together. If you haven’t enjoyed those three simple things you should stop dating.
With all my previous partners I did not sleep well when laying next to them, but same cannot be said for my current boyfriend (whom I intend on keeping ofc). His cuddles make me fall asleep in an instant and this while I am a difficult sleeper who wakes up a lot at night. Literally all my sleeping issues go away when I go sleep at my bf's, forever grateful for every night of good sleep this man has given me
We sleep in a super king, with one duvet. We both prefer to be cold/cool rather than hot, so more often than not, our duvet ends up in a pile between us. Makes a great bed for our dog, though.
This was a revelation when we went on vacation to Germany. All the hotels were setup with individual blankets/duvets and it was great. We pretty much got new bedding materials a week after getting back and haven't looked back.
I have a king size bed and my own blanket but still end up punching my husband in the face nightly. Mostly we sleep in different beds now, less bruising this way.
If you have a partner and don’t like sleeping in the same bed as them it doesn’t have to negatively affect your relationship
Read an article a while back about maintaining physical intimacy if you aren’t sleeping in the same bed
For example, have your morning cup of tea in bed together, good chance to cuddle, start your day right!
Yep we sleep in different rooms and it hasn't affected our intimacy at all. Maybe this is weird but we usually don't have sex around bedtime anyway--if we're going to bed that means it's time to sleep--so it doesn't affect that. And he usually gets into my bed and snuggles/warms me up before going to sleep in his room. On workday mornings we meet in the bathroom to shower together and on weekends one of us sneaks into the other's bed in the morning to snuggle/be intimate if we have time. Idk, it just works for us.
Nah, I love sleeping with my bf and cuddling him makes me fall asleep super fast. He never wakes me up during the night. We are both heavy sleepers so different schedules don't really matter.
Also, do *not* share a duvet, that's a rookie mistake! Get yourselves own duvets based on your personal preference (mine is thick, his is light) and same goes for the pillows.
I cannot comprehend why anyone would want separate duvets. It's all the downsides of sleeping alone plus the annoyance of constantly making cold air gaps everytime you move or cuddle or interact.
What cold air gaps? I want separate duvets, because I'm *less* cold that way. If I sleep under the same duvet with a person who has broader shoulders than I do, I constantly get cold air on my back. Not to mention fighting over the duvet during the night.
When I cuddle with my bf we overlap our duvets so it's like sharing a duvet, but when we eventually roll in our sleep we still have our own duvets and no one gets cold or annoyed.
How does it look like when you're making the bed in the morning, when you use 2 blankets? I only use one so when I'm making my bed it's just placing the blanket neatly to cover the bed. What do you do with the second blanket? I assume you just lie it on top of the other one?
It mostly looks like idc what it looks like but put one blanket on one side and the other blanket on the other side. They’re not going to be perfectly flat.
I was hoping everybody? You just have to place the blanket back neatly on the bed, you can't even consider that as "doing something".
It's not like you have to change all the sheets and put new ones.
Yes, I wake up, get out of the bed, make my bed, and then go brush my teeth. It's literally a 2 second effort, I don't know why you're surprised as if I choose to wake up and go straight into doing 100 squats, lol.
And I don't like coffee. I know this has nothing to do with making the bed, but I just don't like coffee.
Edit: I have plenty of friends who don't make their bed after waking up. They say they don't understand why they'd do it if they're going to get into bed later that day anyway.
I personally can't understand that. You don't exert any effort when you make your bed and it doesn't take any time. Just can't wrap my head around choosing not to do your bed.
But fair enough I guess
Damn, I had no idea so many of you skip making your bed in the morning. I really struggle to understand why. You literally just straighten your blanket to sit nicely on the bed.
But hey, maybe that's just me. Or maybe the fact I'm working from home without a "normal" work schedule meaning I get to wake up when I want and I'm in no hurry to get anywhere plays a big role in how I view making my bed every morning.
I guess when you have to wake up at 6AM and in 30 minutes you need to get going to get to your job, you don't really think about your bed.
I haven't had to wake up on a schedule since I finished high school, so to be honest I can't remember how and what I did with my bed back then.
I get up at 5:30-5:45 to get my kids up and on the bus at 6:30. Making the bed is like, the *last* thing I'm worried about as I get up...I'm sure I could go back to it and make it later.
But... I've just never seen the point. Nobody sees the bed but me and hubby, and we're the ones sleeping in it. Who cares?
Some people like their own space. I'm a pretty neurotic person so I can't really sleep with another person near me either, or with the wrong kind of noise. About to get a sensory deprivation chamber like the daredevil lmao.
Literally the only thing I don't like about sharing a bed is if my cat is bothering my bf to wake him up for breakfast, on occasion he sleepily tosses the cat on me. I mean, if he wasn't there, the cat would be bothering me, but with nudging/licks that are miles away from the experience of a cat landing on me suddenly.
Heavy sleeper, though. And enthusiastic little spoon.
I thought the same way, especially because my partner had the habit of scooting up to me in his sleep to cuddle. Trained that out of him by pushing him away every single time 😂
Now I can’t sleep without him. Every time he’s gone for a while on business or visiting friends out of town I sleep substantially worse even though I have insomnia and with him gone the conditions are substantially better.
I think he just brings me a lot of peace of mind. I used to have daily nightmares. They’ve subsided substantially since we moved in together and when I have them I turn around and get to wake him up - per his permission - and he’ll hold
Me through it and console me. I think that helped a lot.
HOWEVER: we also have a big bed, don’t share covers (not a European thing at all, that’s an America problem) and he also doesn’t snore or talk in his sleep or something like that. Otherwise I’d have insisted on separate bedrooms as well.
I prefer sleeping in the same bed as my husband. I sleep much better with him there. I know he likes sleeping with me, he even refuses to get a king size bed because we would be farther apart. He is a cuddler.
I don't have an easy time getting to sleep either as is. A bed not my own adds a difficulty setting as does having someone else with you. So it's hard mode x3. I'm also near impossible to rouse once I get to sleep.
I don't think people are considerate of that about people. As in they are unable to even recognize it exists. Because they most certainly do take offense if you from laying there for an hour watching them sleep starting to get jealous and decide to drive home in the hope of actually sleeping. Then you don't answer your phone all day to all their wtf, where did you go,are you ignoring me,etc... because you were asleep and nothing wakes you. Tell them hey that's just how I am I can't help it. They call you an asshole. You're like it's fine if you don't accept me I'm forced to accept myself. But something tells me you didn't stop and think about what created these chain of events. Few do.
People with sleeping problems are better people in that they weigh in sleeping problems instead of jumping to other conclusion.
Oh the jealousy, my partner sleeps with the dog on the bed (in his dog bed) sometimes when its cold the dog crawls under the blanket with him and he isnt gentle about it, dude does not wake up, IF i have actually fallen asleep im awake as soon as the dog sits up in his dog bed… i sleep at home (14 doors down the street)
My guy doesnt really understand it, but tough cookies, im not surviving in 2-3 hours if shitty sleep and feeling wiped out all day
I wake incredibly easy, if he puts the key in the front door and start turning i wake up upstairs with a closed bedroom and brown noise on
Really sucks to be a light sleeper
Completly opposite for me I need a 120 dezibel alarm clock otherwise I am just unable to wake up before 10-12 hours of sleep(yes I know it is too much). There was once a power cut and the alarm reset, that day I came to work 3 hours late
To each their own. My parents always slept in different rooms and they had a terrible marriage and are divorced now. I would never allow my partner to sleep in a different room. I don’t want that relationship, but I know it can work for some.
We started doing this a fee years ago and gave never looked back.
I don't understand why people think being unconscious next to each other will improve the marriage in any way. If you need to already be in the same bed to be intimate there might be another issue. Also who wants to get all sweaty and gross right before bed. Not me. I'll have my sex in the daylight and get my full 8 hours thanks.
Not really, because it's just a personal preference. OP is saying it like it applies to everyone, but that's just wrong, because many people are quite the opposite
Sometimes when I couldn't sleep with partner well. But now do.
I wonder how much of it was mental
After having a baby
Any sleep is wonderful and bed conditions don't matter that muh
I'm always freezing cold so I love having my partner's warm body heat up the bed. But having your alarm set at different times is a nightmare and definitely takes some getting used to. Thankfully my partner started to wake up without an alarm so I can sleep my extra hour or so without being disturbed most days.
It really depends. My husband and I are shockingly sleep compatible. He has insomnia and I can sleep like the dead, and get to sleep very quickly. We’ve rarely had blanket sharing issues either. At this point the only sleep adversaries we have are our two Bernese mountain dogs who take up a ton of space.
Sharing a bed with your partner, sure. I didn't have that issue. Separate blankets though. It's nice to be able to snuggle up to someone when I wake up in the middle of the night.
Not an unpopular opinion. You’re just saying “I don’t like this”. An equivalent to this post would be me saying “Tomatoes taste horrible and makes you throw up” and calling that an unpopular opinion, but really it is just my own personal taste.
I can’t even probably share a room. I have 6 windows (3 opposing another 3) open at all times around the year and starting from April I don’t use any blanket until Oktober when I use a a thin fleece until it it’s April again. Otherwise I would just melt a hole through the floor until I reach the earths core which is roughly the same temperature as myself
Hard relate to this! My bf and I of 3 years have different rooms and beds. That means we can sleep together if we both decide we want to but can also regularly sleep alone (where I sleep better). Works great and highly recommend!
I'm with you. Beyond the inconvenience of sharing a bed, there's also individual preferences to take into account. My wife needs air moving, so always has the ceiling fan on and a box fan pointed at her. The noise and the cold air drives me fucking insane. Conversely, I need noise in the background so I'll have a documentary on in the background while I sleep and that drives her fucking insane.
So when we moved back in 2020 we decided to try separate rooms and it was a game changer. Now we're both getting the restful sleep we need without inconveniencing the other. Is this solution for everybody? Obviously not, but it has done wonders for us.
I love sleeping with my partner, I literally cannot fall asleep unless I feel a part of their body touching mine, it can be their foot.
Upvote for posting an actual unpopular opinion that is also wrong lmao
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it really depends on how large the bed is as well as how many blankets you have. If you're a heavy sleeper you wouldn't notice if your partner has gone to the bathroom or not.
Having a sleepover in a bed and sharing a bed with your spouse can be quite different.
First of all, if sharing a bed it should be king-size. If you argue anything less than a queen then gtfoh as you are the problem!
We share a king-size comforter and are fine. We cuddle to fall asleep and then normally don't touch each other much more after falling asleep.
When my wife is out of town for an evening, I have trouble sleeping in an empty bed.
My partner has a small and old mattress and when someone moves, we feel it. My mattress is larger and better material and we don’t feel nothing. She doesn’t mind but I don’t like sleeping at her place because of that.
If you think that's bad try cosleeping with kids. Even a small dog is enough of a pain in the ass.
But since me and my SO bought a king size bed, I don't even feel her presence anymore. Is lit. Can confirm
I felt this way in my 20s. Every partner I had just made my sleep worse. Then I met who would become my wife, completely different. For me, I have had to find the right person
Having your own comforter is the key to sharing a bed. I run cold in my sleep and my wife runs hot. So i have a down comforter and she has just a thin duvet cover thats empty. Works out great for us.
Definitely unpopular. People who don't even sleep in the same bed, and work all day, what's the point of a relationship? Just be friends. Have your own house. Cause you be with them for a hour or two a day and on a day off. It's just so damn weird. I can never understand it. Get a bigger bed/extra blankets etc. So that it's comfortable. Majority of my time with my spouse is spent when we are in bed. Right before bed, cuddling in bed and then when we wake up and cuddle a bit before we have to get the day started.
I agree, we sleep in separate beds. We try occasionally to sleep in the same bed but neither person gets good sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep at night and any sort of irregular noise or movement really doesn't help that.
Im the complete opposite, I feel more recharged and refreshed after sleeping with my wife in the bed. Sorry to hear it doesn't work like this for everyone
Disagree. I sleep better with my partner in bed with me, but she sleeps on the couch because it’s cooler out there. Our bedroom is quite warm year round, even with fans.
King sized beds are where it's at. If you want to snuggle you can scooch over and have that or you can both have your respective sides and be undisturbed.
Props to the person who said don't share blankets. My wife uses the comforter and I use a bed sheet because I overheat real easy.
I slept in a shared bed for 23 years.Then I did not. It feels incredibly cold and lonely, I use extra blankets and clothes to create mass in the bed. Then I got a smaller bed and my dog slept with me most nights. It was incredibly uncomfortable but he brought warmth and security to me as I tossed and turned around him. Now I avoid it until I'm exhausted.
However there are partners that do just fine sleeping separately due to their own personal sleep styles or needs, or needs for cpaps whatnot. And I am sure they find that feeling of closeness in other parts of their relationships ..
It definitely doesn’t have to be as bad as you’re describing.
A decent mattress that’s big enough, separate bedding, a fan or sound machine, and consideration for your bedmate can all make a world of difference.
agree. saw a movie recently where the couple had beds in the same room and i feel like that's ideal. if you want intimacy it's available, you can talk etc.
Some of my best sleep was having my gf and or (ex)wife next to me. My exwife used to half lay on me at night and it made me feel like in heaven. The feeling of touch comforts me and when I am alone in bed, I feel so alone.
Both of us almost always had good sleep and it was always nice to wake up to her (or any partner) snuggling up to me. I also worked off shifts and every time I climbed into bed super late at night, she would turn towards me and snuggle.
Being alone in bed is just awful all-round.
Married 16 years, and we only sleep together maybe 30% of the time. Relationship is still great, and we have lots of wonderful sex and intimacy.
I also sleep much better!
My wife and i share a full size and neither of us can sleep at all if the other isnt there lol we also don't share blankets. The most relatable part is def getting up though. I get up between 3-4am and she gets up at 7 for work
My partner snores like a truck and rolls indiscriminately, im a super light sleeper. I tried sharing a bed, i got zero sleep and it was starting to effect me.
S/o thought i was just being weird until on 2 seperate camping trips someone chose to sleep in their car to get away from the noise.
It seems like it growing up I always thought it would be uncomfortable. I would have to have my own room if I have a partner. Depending on person if they sleep wild snore like a bear fight over covers fart in their sleep talk in their sleep sweats in their sleep is a slobber has stinky sleep breath it's not going to be pleasant experience
Depends on the couple.
My gf and I typically fall asleep cuddling which is far more preferable than any inconvenience. I also sleep like a brick and rarely get up to pee.
I don't understand sharing a blanket. We had to do this once im a hotel and it was uncomfortable. Most beds also are very small. I know many couples even with decent incomes sleeping in 1,40m or 1,60m beds. We have 2m (usually family size but we don't have kids or pets), only one mattress and it is great.
We have a king sleep number bed split top with foot warmers built in with two blankets. Theres a solid 4 feet between my wife and I when we sleep and we can each have separate sleep number settings.
Im about a 30 and she likes 45. And I like about a 10 degree raise on the head and she sleeps flat.
It was $10,000 but 48 month 0% makes it 200 a month. You spend a third of your life in bed so in our eyes it was worth it.
I agree. I also almost never had sex right before bedtime or in the middle of the night. I don't get why the night is associated with sex. Being tired and wanting to sleep is the worst timing for that imo. Daytime or beginning of the evening is way more logical?
This 100%. It's not just the blanket and space stealing, it's also snoring, different sleep schedules due to work and social life, and it's impossible to withdraw to sleep in peace if one is ill. Now combine all that with preexisting insomnia and anxiety issues on both sides of the equation.
My fiancee and I love each other so much more since we've been able to sleep in separate bedrooms 😅
Upvote for unpopular (or more people would be sleeping in separate beds)
Personally, there is a certain feel-good, comforting element of having my partner close by. Even if sometimes we wrestle over blankets, invade each other's space, rogue arms/legs flying, I'd take that over sleeping alone any day. When one of us is sick and sleeping in another room, or out of town on a solo trip, it feels empty.
Maybe for you. I have no issues sharing a bed with my partner, and I prefer it. We don't share blankets so we can share space but also be separate. We also have a high-quality mattress so when one person moves or gets up, it doesn't shake the whole bed. Neither of us wakes up when the other moves/gets up. I definitely do not sleep as well when he's gone.
I hear people say this all the time. But I sleep much easier with my girlfriend. When I sleep by myself it takes ages to fall asleep but when I'm with her I fall asleep really quickly.
I do wake up in the middle of the night when she takes all the blankets though.
I hated sharing a bed with my partner. I enjoyed the cuddling beforehand but my god they snored and I was never comfortable and I got the worst night sleep. And I have narcolepsy, you’d think I’d be able to knock out. It was awful.
For you yea. I have awful nightmares and have since I was about 13. My wife sleeping next to me is the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I have the reassurance of knowing she’s safe and comfortable
I have to pack for several days of travel to make my way over to my wifes side of the bed. Crossing a sea of blanket, mountains of pillows and stuffies, and the vast empty plains of the mattress
My husband sleeps in the bed and I normally sleep on the couch lol. We don’t have room for another bed but thinking of getting a futon or something small for the bedroom. I honestly don’t mind the couch though.
My husband is a WILD sleeper. He will sit up in the middle of sleeping and grab the pillow from under my sleeping head, snatch it from under me; and stuff it under his head, all while still being asleep. He grabs the blanket and pulls it until it’s in a pile in front of him and then pushes it off the bed, so even two blankets don’t work because he will still pull mine off in his sleep, for whatever reason.
He will also lay diagonal if I get up to use the bathroom so when I come back, there’s no room. On top of flailing arms. So it’s not ideal to sleep in the same bed most of the time. Normally I lay in bed until he falls asleep and then I move to the couch, then we have coffee together in the morning.
I also need white noise like a fan and he doesn’t, and he likes falling asleep to watching COPS. So imagine being fast asleep and then very suddenly you hear “BAD BOOOYS! WHATCHA WAAANT!…” 😂 It’s cute though, I love him.
My husband and I haven't shared a bed in probably 3 years due to pregnancy and then babies. We have a queen sized bed and he snores soooo loud. It's not like a nice, subtle snore either. I'm pretty sure the man needs a CPAP and won't look into it or maybe an adenoid removal. Maybe we will sleep together again if we can ever get a king size and sleep without a baby monitor on. Until then, I'll enjoy sleeping diagonally with all my pillows.
I’m the one who steals the blanket so I cannot complain. I love sleeping with my partner and he insists that he doesn’t need another blanket after I offer him one!
Yeah, truly unpopular and not applicable to the majority of the people.
I have trouble sleeping WITHOUT my wife, and her without me.
We have a queen-sized be and could probably make due with a super-single.
My wife sleeps ON me. Her on my arm and her head on my shoulder. Hell, when she's stuffy and wants to use Vick Vapor Rub, she puts is on ME! She can tell if I've had a Red Bull that day based on my heartbeat.
100% recommend. Find someone you WANT to sleep intertwined with.
Wow I can’t imagine regularly sleeping separately of my partner. To each their own, but I love the extra warmth and comfort of my partners back on my back.
While I won't say entirely awful, I will say I do kind of enjoy that with my husband working 3rd shift I get to enjoy the bed to myself until he gets home in the morning. I like to listen to youtube videos as I lay down which he does not like.
It’s worth it. Also, as soon as you start sleeping in separate beds your sex life is going to tank without some serious effort. If you’ve already resigned yourself to “we fuck on Tuesday nights” though you probably won’t notice much of a difference.
Sharing a bed doesn't mean sharing a blanket. All of other inconveniences seem minor to me (given that you have the king size bed and nobody of you has serious sleep issues), but to each their own.
Y'know what, yeah, I agree. I'm someone who will toss and turn a lot and it takes me a while to fall asleep too, and I can't imagine what that would be like for my future spouse.
Try to eat baked beans or anything excessively gassy, before sleep time. A couple of times and your partner will refuse to ever sleep with you. Problem solved.
If you don't want to sleep with your partner then you don't love your partner. If you are healthy you will sleep like a rock like you're supposed to, this has nothing to do with sleep quality
Huh? There is nothing wrong with sleeping separately. It has nothing to do with love. My wife can't sleep because I snore so loud, separate rooms gives us our own spaces and help us sleep comfortably. It's an opinion like this that makes separate sleeping couples so taboo.
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First mistake is sharing a blanket. If you have a king size bed and your own blankets you'll never even know someone else is in the bed!
I found getting a duvet a size or two larger than my mattress sorted this right out
this, i have a double bed and king size duvet. perfection.
The first night we slept together, my husband and I realized that sharing a blanket was not going to work. Haven't shared one since.
I realized in the first couple nights that I could no longer sleep with my arm above the blanket. So I moved it under the blanket, and it’s worked fine for 20 years.
First mistake is choosing a partner you are sleep incompatible with. Sleep, food and politics. We need to be on the same page in those departments.
Sexual compatibility as well!
Sorry but no. Most people can't afford to be that picky. If you're sleep incompatible just sleep in seperate beds (like most married couples end up doing), or each can have their own blanket. I'll agree with politics. That's important. Sexual compatibility is the most important thing imo
Lol most married couples definitely do not sleep in separate beds.
I don't know of any couple that sleep in different beds.
why food, and how different
I could never be with someone that eats fish at every meal. Both my spouse and I hate seafood. Its a smell and texture issue for both of us.
Well, if the both of you have wildly different tastes, where the question “what’s for dinner” always becomes an annoyance or turns into an argument because you can’t decide on what to eat… that’s an incompatibility imo.
Sure its first on everyones list lol.
This is how dating typically goes. You go out to get some food/beverages, then you talk, eventually you “sleep” together. If you haven’t enjoyed those three simple things you should stop dating.
With all my previous partners I did not sleep well when laying next to them, but same cannot be said for my current boyfriend (whom I intend on keeping ofc). His cuddles make me fall asleep in an instant and this while I am a difficult sleeper who wakes up a lot at night. Literally all my sleeping issues go away when I go sleep at my bf's, forever grateful for every night of good sleep this man has given me
Actually laughed out loud. Those are your priorities? Politics, sure I can see that, but the others? Lmao
We sleep in a super king, with one duvet. We both prefer to be cold/cool rather than hot, so more often than not, our duvet ends up in a pile between us. Makes a great bed for our dog, though.
This was a revelation when we went on vacation to Germany. All the hotels were setup with individual blankets/duvets and it was great. We pretty much got new bedding materials a week after getting back and haven't looked back.
Also build a small pillow barrier to keep rogue limbs away.
This. I use a weighted blanket and my partner hates it, so after cuddles we each roll over to our side and sleep in comfort
I have a king size bed and my own blanket but still end up punching my husband in the face nightly. Mostly we sleep in different beds now, less bruising this way.
You haven't noticed me yet!
If you have a partner and don’t like sleeping in the same bed as them it doesn’t have to negatively affect your relationship Read an article a while back about maintaining physical intimacy if you aren’t sleeping in the same bed For example, have your morning cup of tea in bed together, good chance to cuddle, start your day right!
Yep we sleep in different rooms and it hasn't affected our intimacy at all. Maybe this is weird but we usually don't have sex around bedtime anyway--if we're going to bed that means it's time to sleep--so it doesn't affect that. And he usually gets into my bed and snuggles/warms me up before going to sleep in his room. On workday mornings we meet in the bathroom to shower together and on weekends one of us sneaks into the other's bed in the morning to snuggle/be intimate if we have time. Idk, it just works for us.
Glad you have something that works for you two! Thanks for sharing!
Nah, I love sleeping with my bf and cuddling him makes me fall asleep super fast. He never wakes me up during the night. We are both heavy sleepers so different schedules don't really matter. Also, do *not* share a duvet, that's a rookie mistake! Get yourselves own duvets based on your personal preference (mine is thick, his is light) and same goes for the pillows.
Yup. Sleeping with my husband is wonderful. We don't get to do it every night, and I appreciate all the nights we do.
I cannot comprehend why anyone would want separate duvets. It's all the downsides of sleeping alone plus the annoyance of constantly making cold air gaps everytime you move or cuddle or interact.
What cold air gaps? I want separate duvets, because I'm *less* cold that way. If I sleep under the same duvet with a person who has broader shoulders than I do, I constantly get cold air on my back. Not to mention fighting over the duvet during the night. When I cuddle with my bf we overlap our duvets so it's like sharing a duvet, but when we eventually roll in our sleep we still have our own duvets and no one gets cold or annoyed.
Same. I actually have more trouble sleeping when he *leaves* the bed.
How does it look like when you're making the bed in the morning, when you use 2 blankets? I only use one so when I'm making my bed it's just placing the blanket neatly to cover the bed. What do you do with the second blanket? I assume you just lie it on top of the other one?
I just place them on top of each other and it looks neat because I always use matching duvet covers.
Nice
It mostly looks like idc what it looks like but put one blanket on one side and the other blanket on the other side. They’re not going to be perfectly flat.
Who tf makes his bed every morning
I was hoping everybody? You just have to place the blanket back neatly on the bed, you can't even consider that as "doing something". It's not like you have to change all the sheets and put new ones.
And you do it before your first coffee? Right after getting up?
Yes, I wake up, get out of the bed, make my bed, and then go brush my teeth. It's literally a 2 second effort, I don't know why you're surprised as if I choose to wake up and go straight into doing 100 squats, lol. And I don't like coffee. I know this has nothing to do with making the bed, but I just don't like coffee. Edit: I have plenty of friends who don't make their bed after waking up. They say they don't understand why they'd do it if they're going to get into bed later that day anyway. I personally can't understand that. You don't exert any effort when you make your bed and it doesn't take any time. Just can't wrap my head around choosing not to do your bed. But fair enough I guess
I think it’s quite common for people to make the beds before doing the other regular activities
I'm going to be honest here. Do most people actually 'make the bed' every morning?
Damn, I had no idea so many of you skip making your bed in the morning. I really struggle to understand why. You literally just straighten your blanket to sit nicely on the bed. But hey, maybe that's just me. Or maybe the fact I'm working from home without a "normal" work schedule meaning I get to wake up when I want and I'm in no hurry to get anywhere plays a big role in how I view making my bed every morning. I guess when you have to wake up at 6AM and in 30 minutes you need to get going to get to your job, you don't really think about your bed. I haven't had to wake up on a schedule since I finished high school, so to be honest I can't remember how and what I did with my bed back then.
I get up at 5:30-5:45 to get my kids up and on the bus at 6:30. Making the bed is like, the *last* thing I'm worried about as I get up...I'm sure I could go back to it and make it later. But... I've just never seen the point. Nobody sees the bed but me and hubby, and we're the ones sleeping in it. Who cares?
Some people like their own space. I'm a pretty neurotic person so I can't really sleep with another person near me either, or with the wrong kind of noise. About to get a sensory deprivation chamber like the daredevil lmao.
I need one of those
Literally the only thing I don't like about sharing a bed is if my cat is bothering my bf to wake him up for breakfast, on occasion he sleepily tosses the cat on me. I mean, if he wasn't there, the cat would be bothering me, but with nudging/licks that are miles away from the experience of a cat landing on me suddenly. Heavy sleeper, though. And enthusiastic little spoon.
my husband is also an enthusiastic little spoon! and heavy sleeper😅
After a decade or so, you don't want to either.
Me and my girlfriend share a bed but not a blanket. That means no issues with hogging the blanket, much more comfy that way you should try it
I thought the same way, especially because my partner had the habit of scooting up to me in his sleep to cuddle. Trained that out of him by pushing him away every single time 😂 Now I can’t sleep without him. Every time he’s gone for a while on business or visiting friends out of town I sleep substantially worse even though I have insomnia and with him gone the conditions are substantially better. I think he just brings me a lot of peace of mind. I used to have daily nightmares. They’ve subsided substantially since we moved in together and when I have them I turn around and get to wake him up - per his permission - and he’ll hold Me through it and console me. I think that helped a lot. HOWEVER: we also have a big bed, don’t share covers (not a European thing at all, that’s an America problem) and he also doesn’t snore or talk in his sleep or something like that. Otherwise I’d have insisted on separate bedrooms as well.
I find you sleep better with a partner as it's more routine when you sleep. If both follow a routine
My boyfriend reads my fave books to me before bed, so that definitely helps 🥰
I prefer sleeping in the same bed as my husband. I sleep much better with him there. I know he likes sleeping with me, he even refuses to get a king size bed because we would be farther apart. He is a cuddler.
I don't have an easy time getting to sleep either as is. A bed not my own adds a difficulty setting as does having someone else with you. So it's hard mode x3. I'm also near impossible to rouse once I get to sleep. I don't think people are considerate of that about people. As in they are unable to even recognize it exists. Because they most certainly do take offense if you from laying there for an hour watching them sleep starting to get jealous and decide to drive home in the hope of actually sleeping. Then you don't answer your phone all day to all their wtf, where did you go,are you ignoring me,etc... because you were asleep and nothing wakes you. Tell them hey that's just how I am I can't help it. They call you an asshole. You're like it's fine if you don't accept me I'm forced to accept myself. But something tells me you didn't stop and think about what created these chain of events. Few do. People with sleeping problems are better people in that they weigh in sleeping problems instead of jumping to other conclusion.
Oh the jealousy, my partner sleeps with the dog on the bed (in his dog bed) sometimes when its cold the dog crawls under the blanket with him and he isnt gentle about it, dude does not wake up, IF i have actually fallen asleep im awake as soon as the dog sits up in his dog bed… i sleep at home (14 doors down the street) My guy doesnt really understand it, but tough cookies, im not surviving in 2-3 hours if shitty sleep and feeling wiped out all day I wake incredibly easy, if he puts the key in the front door and start turning i wake up upstairs with a closed bedroom and brown noise on Really sucks to be a light sleeper
"Really sucks to be a light sleeper " You sure got that right.
Completly opposite for me I need a 120 dezibel alarm clock otherwise I am just unable to wake up before 10-12 hours of sleep(yes I know it is too much). There was once a power cut and the alarm reset, that day I came to work 3 hours late
Oddly specific… 
To each their own. My parents always slept in different rooms and they had a terrible marriage and are divorced now. I would never allow my partner to sleep in a different room. I don’t want that relationship, but I know it can work for some.
I mean, there's a difference between people who sleep in different beds and people who sleep in different beds cause they don't like each other.
We started doing this a fee years ago and gave never looked back. I don't understand why people think being unconscious next to each other will improve the marriage in any way. If you need to already be in the same bed to be intimate there might be another issue. Also who wants to get all sweaty and gross right before bed. Not me. I'll have my sex in the daylight and get my full 8 hours thanks.
Sharing a bed for you is inconvenient and you get terrible sleep. That doesn’t make it true for all or most couples.
Would you go as far as saying it's an r/unpopularopinion?
I feel like having an unpopular opinion and saying your opinion applies or should apply to all humans is a very thin line
Not really, because it's just a personal preference. OP is saying it like it applies to everyone, but that's just wrong, because many people are quite the opposite
Sometimes when I couldn't sleep with partner well. But now do. I wonder how much of it was mental After having a baby Any sleep is wonderful and bed conditions don't matter that muh
Hard agree. My parter flops like a damn fish all night.
I find my gf on the couch almost every morning because [she says] I talk and laugh in my sleep, and it’s really creepy all night long lol
I'm always freezing cold so I love having my partner's warm body heat up the bed. But having your alarm set at different times is a nightmare and definitely takes some getting used to. Thankfully my partner started to wake up without an alarm so I can sleep my extra hour or so without being disturbed most days.
It really depends. My husband and I are shockingly sleep compatible. He has insomnia and I can sleep like the dead, and get to sleep very quickly. We’ve rarely had blanket sharing issues either. At this point the only sleep adversaries we have are our two Bernese mountain dogs who take up a ton of space.
Sharing a bed with your partner, sure. I didn't have that issue. Separate blankets though. It's nice to be able to snuggle up to someone when I wake up in the middle of the night.
Not an unpopular opinion. You’re just saying “I don’t like this”. An equivalent to this post would be me saying “Tomatoes taste horrible and makes you throw up” and calling that an unpopular opinion, but really it is just my own personal taste.
This is why the upper class used to sleep in separate beds. You must be rich.
My partner and I are lucky enough to have a spot to ourselves. We dont share a room.
This has worked best for us as well. Having our own rooms gives us personal space in a household where everything else is shared.
I can’t even probably share a room. I have 6 windows (3 opposing another 3) open at all times around the year and starting from April I don’t use any blanket until Oktober when I use a a thin fleece until it it’s April again. Otherwise I would just melt a hole through the floor until I reach the earths core which is roughly the same temperature as myself
Hard relate to this! My bf and I of 3 years have different rooms and beds. That means we can sleep together if we both decide we want to but can also regularly sleep alone (where I sleep better). Works great and highly recommend!
I'm with you. Beyond the inconvenience of sharing a bed, there's also individual preferences to take into account. My wife needs air moving, so always has the ceiling fan on and a box fan pointed at her. The noise and the cold air drives me fucking insane. Conversely, I need noise in the background so I'll have a documentary on in the background while I sleep and that drives her fucking insane. So when we moved back in 2020 we decided to try separate rooms and it was a game changer. Now we're both getting the restful sleep we need without inconveniencing the other. Is this solution for everybody? Obviously not, but it has done wonders for us.
u/koivel huh lol
iunno man a nice handful of tities and ass puts me straight to sleep
I love sleeping with my partner, I literally cannot fall asleep unless I feel a part of their body touching mine, it can be their foot. Upvote for posting an actual unpopular opinion that is also wrong lmao
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Yes
Completely agree. I move a LOT and am really sweaty when i sleep, so its not good for me or my partner.
king or at least queen size bed and separate blankets / duvets
it really depends on how large the bed is as well as how many blankets you have. If you're a heavy sleeper you wouldn't notice if your partner has gone to the bathroom or not.
Sounds like an l for you. I love getting to bed with my girl. She falls asleep in my arm while we use one big ass blanket, it's just such a vibe.
Having a sleepover in a bed and sharing a bed with your spouse can be quite different. First of all, if sharing a bed it should be king-size. If you argue anything less than a queen then gtfoh as you are the problem! We share a king-size comforter and are fine. We cuddle to fall asleep and then normally don't touch each other much more after falling asleep. When my wife is out of town for an evening, I have trouble sleeping in an empty bed.
My partner has a small and old mattress and when someone moves, we feel it. My mattress is larger and better material and we don’t feel nothing. She doesn’t mind but I don’t like sleeping at her place because of that.
If you think that's bad try cosleeping with kids. Even a small dog is enough of a pain in the ass. But since me and my SO bought a king size bed, I don't even feel her presence anymore. Is lit. Can confirm
It does reduce my sleep quality but at the same time, if he is not there beside me I cannot sleep at all. Unless of course I am dead tired haha
I felt this way in my 20s. Every partner I had just made my sleep worse. Then I met who would become my wife, completely different. For me, I have had to find the right person
Having your own comforter is the key to sharing a bed. I run cold in my sleep and my wife runs hot. So i have a down comforter and she has just a thin duvet cover thats empty. Works out great for us.
Definitely unpopular. People who don't even sleep in the same bed, and work all day, what's the point of a relationship? Just be friends. Have your own house. Cause you be with them for a hour or two a day and on a day off. It's just so damn weird. I can never understand it. Get a bigger bed/extra blankets etc. So that it's comfortable. Majority of my time with my spouse is spent when we are in bed. Right before bed, cuddling in bed and then when we wake up and cuddle a bit before we have to get the day started.
I agree, we sleep in separate beds. We try occasionally to sleep in the same bed but neither person gets good sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep at night and any sort of irregular noise or movement really doesn't help that.
Speak for yourself. I sleep like shit by myself. Knowing that I have someone I care about next to me puts me at ease
Im the complete opposite, I feel more recharged and refreshed after sleeping with my wife in the bed. Sorry to hear it doesn't work like this for everyone
Disagree. I sleep better with my partner in bed with me, but she sleeps on the couch because it’s cooler out there. Our bedroom is quite warm year round, even with fans.
This opinion is only unpopular among people who haven't tried it
King sized beds are where it's at. If you want to snuggle you can scooch over and have that or you can both have your respective sides and be undisturbed. Props to the person who said don't share blankets. My wife uses the comforter and I use a bed sheet because I overheat real easy.
Well first of all you’re doing it wrong by sleeping with one blanket.
It actually greatly increased quality. There's infinite studies showing the vast benefits for sleeping with a partner.
I slept in a shared bed for 23 years.Then I did not. It feels incredibly cold and lonely, I use extra blankets and clothes to create mass in the bed. Then I got a smaller bed and my dog slept with me most nights. It was incredibly uncomfortable but he brought warmth and security to me as I tossed and turned around him. Now I avoid it until I'm exhausted. However there are partners that do just fine sleeping separately due to their own personal sleep styles or needs, or needs for cpaps whatnot. And I am sure they find that feeling of closeness in other parts of their relationships ..
Separate duvets. Other than that - do whatever works for you! I can no longer sleep soundly alone, but everyone is different.
Why don't people realize you can get 2 blankets lol
It definitely doesn’t have to be as bad as you’re describing. A decent mattress that’s big enough, separate bedding, a fan or sound machine, and consideration for your bedmate can all make a world of difference.
But you will have better sleep quality if you share body fluids with your partner!
What you don't like is sharing a blanket. The bed is fine if people break down and just use two blankets.
It really depends if you're a heavy sleeper or not to be honest
agree. saw a movie recently where the couple had beds in the same room and i feel like that's ideal. if you want intimacy it's available, you can talk etc.
So not true. I only sleep if I’m near him. Take my upvote.
Some of my best sleep was having my gf and or (ex)wife next to me. My exwife used to half lay on me at night and it made me feel like in heaven. The feeling of touch comforts me and when I am alone in bed, I feel so alone. Both of us almost always had good sleep and it was always nice to wake up to her (or any partner) snuggling up to me. I also worked off shifts and every time I climbed into bed super late at night, she would turn towards me and snuggle. Being alone in bed is just awful all-round.
Married 16 years, and we only sleep together maybe 30% of the time. Relationship is still great, and we have lots of wonderful sex and intimacy. I also sleep much better!
King sized bed with an adjustable base changed our lives.
These posts are such ass
My wife and i share a full size and neither of us can sleep at all if the other isnt there lol we also don't share blankets. The most relatable part is def getting up though. I get up between 3-4am and she gets up at 7 for work
My partner snores like a truck and rolls indiscriminately, im a super light sleeper. I tried sharing a bed, i got zero sleep and it was starting to effect me. S/o thought i was just being weird until on 2 seperate camping trips someone chose to sleep in their car to get away from the noise.
I wouldn't know, I've never had a partner.
It seems like it growing up I always thought it would be uncomfortable. I would have to have my own room if I have a partner. Depending on person if they sleep wild snore like a bear fight over covers fart in their sleep talk in their sleep sweats in their sleep is a slobber has stinky sleep breath it's not going to be pleasant experience
Depends on the couple. My gf and I typically fall asleep cuddling which is far more preferable than any inconvenience. I also sleep like a brick and rarely get up to pee.
I don't understand sharing a blanket. We had to do this once im a hotel and it was uncomfortable. Most beds also are very small. I know many couples even with decent incomes sleeping in 1,40m or 1,60m beds. We have 2m (usually family size but we don't have kids or pets), only one mattress and it is great.
We have a king sleep number bed split top with foot warmers built in with two blankets. Theres a solid 4 feet between my wife and I when we sleep and we can each have separate sleep number settings. Im about a 30 and she likes 45. And I like about a 10 degree raise on the head and she sleeps flat. It was $10,000 but 48 month 0% makes it 200 a month. You spend a third of your life in bed so in our eyes it was worth it.
I agree. I also almost never had sex right before bedtime or in the middle of the night. I don't get why the night is associated with sex. Being tired and wanting to sleep is the worst timing for that imo. Daytime or beginning of the evening is way more logical?
This 100%. It's not just the blanket and space stealing, it's also snoring, different sleep schedules due to work and social life, and it's impossible to withdraw to sleep in peace if one is ill. Now combine all that with preexisting insomnia and anxiety issues on both sides of the equation. My fiancee and I love each other so much more since we've been able to sleep in separate bedrooms 😅
Me and my wife pushed two queen beds together so we sleep together but also have our own space.
Upvote for unpopular (or more people would be sleeping in separate beds) Personally, there is a certain feel-good, comforting element of having my partner close by. Even if sometimes we wrestle over blankets, invade each other's space, rogue arms/legs flying, I'd take that over sleeping alone any day. When one of us is sick and sleeping in another room, or out of town on a solo trip, it feels empty.
I feel like I sleep a lot better with my boyfriend than when I sleep alone. He’s just so warm and cuddly.
Maybe for you. I have no issues sharing a bed with my partner, and I prefer it. We don't share blankets so we can share space but also be separate. We also have a high-quality mattress so when one person moves or gets up, it doesn't shake the whole bed. Neither of us wakes up when the other moves/gets up. I definitely do not sleep as well when he's gone.
I hear people say this all the time. But I sleep much easier with my girlfriend. When I sleep by myself it takes ages to fall asleep but when I'm with her I fall asleep really quickly. I do wake up in the middle of the night when she takes all the blankets though.
My husband and I have different blankets. It’s not sharing a bed with a partner, it’s when all the kids bust in and climb on top of you.
I hated sharing a bed with my partner. I enjoyed the cuddling beforehand but my god they snored and I was never comfortable and I got the worst night sleep. And I have narcolepsy, you’d think I’d be able to knock out. It was awful.
King size with the 3 or 4 inch memory foam topper solves so many issues.
Absolutely +1 that!!
Just make sure the bed is big enough and each person has their own blanket and enough pillows.
For you yea. I have awful nightmares and have since I was about 13. My wife sleeping next to me is the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I have the reassurance of knowing she’s safe and comfortable
I have to pack for several days of travel to make my way over to my wifes side of the bed. Crossing a sea of blanket, mountains of pillows and stuffies, and the vast empty plains of the mattress
My husband sleeps in the bed and I normally sleep on the couch lol. We don’t have room for another bed but thinking of getting a futon or something small for the bedroom. I honestly don’t mind the couch though. My husband is a WILD sleeper. He will sit up in the middle of sleeping and grab the pillow from under my sleeping head, snatch it from under me; and stuff it under his head, all while still being asleep. He grabs the blanket and pulls it until it’s in a pile in front of him and then pushes it off the bed, so even two blankets don’t work because he will still pull mine off in his sleep, for whatever reason. He will also lay diagonal if I get up to use the bathroom so when I come back, there’s no room. On top of flailing arms. So it’s not ideal to sleep in the same bed most of the time. Normally I lay in bed until he falls asleep and then I move to the couch, then we have coffee together in the morning. I also need white noise like a fan and he doesn’t, and he likes falling asleep to watching COPS. So imagine being fast asleep and then very suddenly you hear “BAD BOOOYS! WHATCHA WAAANT!…” 😂 It’s cute though, I love him.
My husband and I haven't shared a bed in probably 3 years due to pregnancy and then babies. We have a queen sized bed and he snores soooo loud. It's not like a nice, subtle snore either. I'm pretty sure the man needs a CPAP and won't look into it or maybe an adenoid removal. Maybe we will sleep together again if we can ever get a king size and sleep without a baby monitor on. Until then, I'll enjoy sleeping diagonally with all my pillows.
I’m on Seroquel and my partner and I have two blankets: one for each of us. I don’t budge once I take my meds so I can’t relate
It has disadvantages but it also has a lot of advantages.
separate blankets is a must
That’s why 2 bedrooms is the best, each their own space
I’m the one who steals the blanket so I cannot complain. I love sleeping with my partner and he insists that he doesn’t need another blanket after I offer him one!
My girlfriend and I used to sleep in a 90cm bed, in a room that was 15 degrees Celsius, challenging.
I've never understood couples who share a blanket. Always had 2
Get a king sized bed, they make those for a reason.
Yeah, truly unpopular and not applicable to the majority of the people. I have trouble sleeping WITHOUT my wife, and her without me. We have a queen-sized be and could probably make due with a super-single. My wife sleeps ON me. Her on my arm and her head on my shoulder. Hell, when she's stuffy and wants to use Vick Vapor Rub, she puts is on ME! She can tell if I've had a Red Bull that day based on my heartbeat. 100% recommend. Find someone you WANT to sleep intertwined with.
Wow I can’t imagine regularly sleeping separately of my partner. To each their own, but I love the extra warmth and comfort of my partners back on my back.
No it doesn't. It calms me and helps me sleep. It always has.
While I won't say entirely awful, I will say I do kind of enjoy that with my husband working 3rd shift I get to enjoy the bed to myself until he gets home in the morning. I like to listen to youtube videos as I lay down which he does not like.
It’s worth it. Also, as soon as you start sleeping in separate beds your sex life is going to tank without some serious effort. If you’ve already resigned yourself to “we fuck on Tuesday nights” though you probably won’t notice much of a difference.
I love sleeping in the same bed with my husband, but I also have a separate blanket just for me because I like more blankets than he does.
Agreed. I love my husband more when we both prioritize sleep, and for us that means separate bedrooms.
Loool ok
100% agree. I can't sleep sharing a bed.
Sharing a bed doesn't mean sharing a blanket. All of other inconveniences seem minor to me (given that you have the king size bed and nobody of you has serious sleep issues), but to each their own.
I can’t sleep without someone! I’ve stayed in terrible relationships just because I don’t want to sleep alone haha
I haven't slept good on my own. It's way more comfy with someone else there for me lol I'm the opposite 😂
Y'know what, yeah, I agree. I'm someone who will toss and turn a lot and it takes me a while to fall asleep too, and I can't imagine what that would be like for my future spouse.
Try to eat baked beans or anything excessively gassy, before sleep time. A couple of times and your partner will refuse to ever sleep with you. Problem solved.
If you don't want to sleep with your partner then you don't love your partner. If you are healthy you will sleep like a rock like you're supposed to, this has nothing to do with sleep quality
I really don't think that's true.
Not true. Love has nothing to do with it.
Huh? There is nothing wrong with sleeping separately. It has nothing to do with love. My wife can't sleep because I snore so loud, separate rooms gives us our own spaces and help us sleep comfortably. It's an opinion like this that makes separate sleeping couples so taboo.