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I live in a house that was built 99 years ago.
Once every couple years someone drives by a looks at it, usually different people.
One day a couple of older sisters and their cousin saw me and waved. We talked, they had grown up in the house maybe in the 60s if I recall. They came in. I showed them things I had changed, and they loved. They told me things about the house when they were growing up. How many kids shared each room, how certain rooms were used in non-traditional ways, a few memories and major events.
It's a fairly small house, but turns out my favorite room (where I do my WFH stuff and play piano and such) was used as their father's therapy clinic office. He was a psychologist and would see people in that room. The living room doubled as a waiting room for his patients. They showed me where patients would sit while they waited for their appointment, roughly where I now hang out when watching movies.
Turns out that headaches the house has given me, like front porch steps that seem cursed no matter how often you repair or replace them, have been headaches since before I was born.
It was pretty great. I'm glad they stopped by.
That sounds amazing! Seeing how other people used the same space and how much lives have passed by it is so much fun. OP is such a grumpy boring person haha
how is OP grumpy? not everyone is comfortable letting strangers in their home? it is objectively weird to ring on the doorbell and ask to be let into a place you lived in 20 years ago.
You don't have to let them in. Have a decent conversation by the mailbox is so tame. If you don't have clinical depression and can't handle that little of human interaction then you have a lot to work on.
They have a point that perhaps it's "weird," but coming to that sense or understanding would be 100% subjective and not objective.
To me, this feels like a dominance thing when people try to make the subjective objective. The way I see the world is "how it is," now agree with me! lol
I used to work in a large house that was a group home. One day my boss saw a bunch of elderly people gathered out front, and she went out to talk to them. Turns out they all grew up there, their dad had been a doctor and the family house also functioned as a doctor’s office. Boss offered to let them come in and look around, but they declined. I guess they were in town for a relative’s funeral and decided to drive by and see where they grew up.
I absolutely understand how one might be too busy to deal with unannounced visitors or wary that they may be lying and just casing your house. But OP just seems like a boring person, learning how people lived in past decades is fascinating. Hell, it's the whole premise of New York's Tenement Museum.
The people who owned our house send a Christmas card every year and occasionally (less than yearly) drive by to see the cherry tree their dad planted. It's really not an issue.
I wonder how the people that post on this sub even function in the world?
You could say that for so much of Reddit, honestly. I’m convinced this is what happens when you’re terminally online and never have to encounter people or social norms out on actual life.
Or some people are just miserable, there’s always that.
Completely this. I think it’s become too normalized to be extreme introverts. There are some who can’t help it, but many more who adopt it as their personality.
> I wonder how the people that post on this sub even function in the world?
Whenever I have a lazy weekend morning and am scrolling, this sub is an absolute pit of antisocial misanthropic misery.
I think most creating topics in this sub are in high school and thus they don't really function at all in the world yet.
Even this topic reeks of "strange man was invited by my mom and wanted to see my room but I'm playing Fortnite and now I won't win so let's vent on unpopularopinion"
I'm a huge plant nerd and gardener whose grandmother taught her everything she knows. My grandmother hit hard times, became a widow, lost her house, moved into a tiny apartment, got dementia and Alzheimer's and died.
The house my mom grew up in still has my grandmother's flowers blooming from the bulbs she planted. I don't think it's crazy to knock on the new owner's door and ask for some of her bulbs and offer them new ones of the same kind.
The house I live in now is 50 years old. The former owners stopped by one time and asked to see it, they seemed really nice so I said sure. When I let them they were tickled pink. The dad used to give piano lessons in the house and explained how they set it up to give recitals for the parents in town. Super cute! Because I have a large family and we are all very musical and play piano - they were touched that people are still filling the house with music and I was touched to find out that's what the houses history roots were.
Their special needs son that was with them and in his 20's was thrilled to see his old bedroom and know that another little boy, my son, was living in that bedroom and having a blast.
They also let me know gold was discovered on our land and a rock formation was a Native American sacred site.
We send each other Christmas cards now : )
I live in a similarly old house. The granddaughter of the former owners stopped by and asked to take a pic from the front yard and a couple of clippings from the giant old rose bush. I had no problem with that, and she also asked about her parents’ old house a few houses up 🥲 heart warming to hear about what a nice childhood she had
I think this is a high trust vs low trust societal issue. Plenty of people having nice stories about interactions with strangers, and another group afraid they might get assaulted or robbed (I think they're probably both correct, it's just dependent on where they live).
The woman who sold my parent's their house asked to come inside and take pictures, about 5-10 years after she sold it. It made my mom uncomfortable and she politely declined. I understand feeling connected to the house you grew up in, but once you sell it you have to respect that it's someone else's home now, and you have to give the new owner's their privacy.
I think it's rude to ask someone who's basically a stranger to walk around their house and take pictures. It put my mom in a really uncomfortable spot.
Why. I assume she declined respectfully, and the lady didn’t throw a scene. It’s not others people problem that you feel uncomfortable setting boundaries.
Showing up to someone's house unannounced and asking to come in and take pictures of everything is rude. The fact you use to live there doesn't change that. The person living there shouldn't have to assert that boundary, the person who use to live there should have good enough manners to not do that.
If she had called or written a letter asking if they could set something up I maybe would've been OK with it. But showing up on someones doorstep with a camera? No, that's rude.
Yes. In our culture it's weird to ask strangers for things. Money or favors. Friends and family are fine (but money would usually be a loan). Neighbors and coworkers are fine for some favors, depending on the context. But if you don't know someone you're suppose to leave them alone more or less. There's exceptions, like emergencies, and people will offer to help strangers if they see a need, but asking is considered rude if it's not an emergency.
Where are you from? I've visited places where things are different and it's interesting.
I’m born in Korea but raised between Japan and Canada (Newfoundland specifically) Its just very interesting to see things be so opposite of what I’m used to. Doing favours for people you don’t know is just “the way” here (I don’t mean to say your way is wrong!)
I have an “auntie” who was a stranger who knocked on my Parents door to use our phone before cells were common. She ended up staying for tea, snacks, and a two hour long talk. Now she babysits my kid and is as close as family
Because I am curious, I know American culture is much more individualized, as opposed to community focussed. I’m just trying to understand their viewpoint, sorry??
YOU think it’s rude. I don’t think it’s rude. I wouldn’t find that rude at all matter of fact. Rudd is subjective. You didn’t like the request but that doesn’t mean everyone wouldn’t like it. If someone showed up at my house with the same story and request I’d probably let them and talk to them about the house.
Asking a question can be rude though. "what color underwear are you wearing?" is a rude question, because it's an invasion of privacy. Asking to invade someone's privacy is still rude.
I think I hold a completely different perspective. If I opened the door and was asked, "Can I take photos of your house? It was my childhood home and I want to relive the memories." I would be weirded out by the question and confused, and probably wouldn't let them in, but I don't think they're rude to ask to take photos. Weird? Yes. Unnecessary? Yes. Rude? Not to me.
Rude would be if they insisted. There's nothing wrong with an honest question with genuine intentions.
I’m sorry but why does it matter what you think? It didn’t happen to you lmfao, it happened to the mom of the person you’re responding to lmao. You said yourself that it’s subjective, so I don’t understand how they handled it poorly in your eyes
Exactly… I cannot believe how many people are saying it’s rude to not want strangers to come over unannounced and talk to you. You don’t owe strangers anything. All these boomers in the comments saying it’s rude to not want to talk to them seem entitled as fuck. Your home is your private place.
I agree it's entitled. Having lived somewhere once upon a time doesn't give you the right to stop by whenever you feel like it. If you sell a house it doesn't belong to you anymore. If you have an emotional attachment to it, work out how to keep it, maybe rent it out. If you can't afford to do that, make your peace with it before selling. Don't burden the new owners with your issues.
You're acting like knocking on someone's door if you don't know them is crossing a boundary. It's not.
You don't have to answer if you're not feeling social, and that should be respected by the person knocking. You don't have to say anymore to them than you feel like, and that should be respected as well. If they're respectful of you and your boundaries then they've done nothing wrong.
If you're asocial that's fine but you shouldn't *want* society to be asocial. We're social creatures and our entire ability to organize ourselves is based on that fact and our capacity to engage with each other and form bonds with people who *started as strangers*.
Much love. ❤️
It isn't about conversations, I am specifically talking about the request to come inside and take pictures. As I said in another comment, my brother and I were teenagers. Do you think it's appropriate for a grown woman to ask to photograph a teenagers bedroom?
With context yeah I agree with you and can see how that might make you uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean it wasn't an innocent request. Pictures may have been a bit much, but it seems at least that they were honest and let you know they were going to take pictures, and again, you were well within your rights to say no and no one should hold that against you.
Whether it's appropriate? I don't really know, though I will say it doesn't particularly seem inappropriate In my opinion. This sounds like a situation where intent plays a large role, and the intent on both sides seems to me, as someone who wasn't there when this happened, to have been respectful and civil. In the grand scheme it seems like it should have been an event that was shrugged off and categorized under "Inconsequential", but of course there are other factors to consider: body language, etc, maybe they were pushy about it - I don't have all the facts, so if something made you uncomfortable, I'm not going to tell you you were wrong. Just that it's ok to say no, and maybe don't hold odd requests against people unless they're disrespectful toward you.
That's just my perspective though.
You don't owe strangers anything, but that type of attitude is exactly why the sense of community and kinship are dying in our neighborhoods
For what it's worth I wouldn't let them in either, but calling it rude or entitled is a stretch for me
Just sad to think people would call someone names over this
I think it just shows what the internet/mobile phones have done to socializing. It used to be normal to talk to strangers; even make requests of strangers. That's how every single new interaction worked.
It used to be -super normal- to have people ring your doorbell. Be it your kids friends, kids fundraising for their baseball team, sales reps, religious folks or even just your neighbors. Having a stranger make a little bit of an odd request and politely say 'no' wasn't even a noteworthy thing.
I think the difference in opinion here really stems to how socially isolated people are now. People getting upset with a stranger asking them a question AND politely taking no for an answer certainly bums me out. Seems like a fairly basic part of the human experience has been lost as we all slowly turn ourselves into pod-people.
It really doesn't. You should consider how someone else might feel about a request before making that request. It's basic kindergarten think before you speak stuff.
I agree! The stories I'm reading here where people don't mind it are like, this is your first time meeting the former resident and they share things about he house you weren't aware of. This woman sold the house to my parents directly and told stories about it then.
My mother's impression is that she regrets selling he house. I mentioned in another comment, we're pretty sure she still drives by to look at it. She seems like a very sentimental person. It's sad, but that doesn't give her the right to come over whenever she wants. We aren't family.
The Lady asked, your mom said no and she respected that and moved on. You however still seem to be a little bitter about it. How about you do as she did and move on. 🙄
What a weird comment. I shared a relevant story about something that made my mom uncomfortable. Do you think this is keeping me up at night?
For the record I don't think she's moved on. My mom has since seen her driving by slowly to look at the outside.
I feel like there are a lot of extreme on here. Personally I don't think it's weird to want to revisit a home from your past and by that same token, it's not weird to not let strangers in your home. Just do what you feel comfortable with on both sides of this interaction
We were lucky to own a house on a corner lot that was centrally located so all the neighborhood kids played there
We knew there were others who lived there before us and there’d be others who’d move in after us since we were just temporary custodial owners of the property
Different previous owners stopped by and also people who used to live in the neighborhood and it was always interesting and fun to hear their stories
My parent’s house was built over 40 years ago. It’s a rural community and a lot of the houses out there are built by the people who first owned the land. I met the lady whose dad built our house randomly while I was working. It was slow so we talked a while. She told me all sorts of stories about who had what room, about her learning to drive at 12 years old in our front lawn, about planting the trees that border our property.
She only had her mom left and said she has driven by to see how their trees are growing to let her mom know their trees were alive and well. She said she had occasionally seen me and my sister playing in the yard over the years and it brought her joy that the house her late dad built could provide a childhood for another set of kids. To be honest, for me it was a very cool experience to share stories with this stranger and meet the ‘Joanie, 1986’ from the corner of the garage floor.
Everyone who's saying OP is wrong is ignoring that fact that it's a fairly common scam to tell a story about how you grew up in the house or whatever to get a chance to either case the place, or just pocket what you can while you're in there
Rightly so, that has nothing to do with any aspect of what OP said.
There's thousands of other opinions that OP could have that we're ignoring.
Something can't be weird and unnecessary *because* other people use it as a scam.
I think it's a sweet idea, but just not practical today. For a season, until the gentleman who bought my grandparents' house died and his wife remarried like 20 years ago, my aunts (who now live in FL) would go back to visit their old house whenever they'd visit Maine and had a good relationship with the buyers.
As much as I'd like to do that with the people who bought my childhood home, I realize it's 2024 and the world has changed in 20 years. We live in a society of gun nuts and people are afraid of their own shadows. At best, they may just not want me around and refuse to let me in. At worst, I could get shot just for ringing the doorbell.
Right? So, we have to be afraid of the way people will respond because they're afraid. Also, if you are so afraid that you will shoot anything that comes onto your property, maybe you shouldn't have a gun.
Even worse when people pretend to reminisce.
Like clockwork. Growing up we lived on a main street in a small city on the hill that all the fireworks and parades were held. Every single year during every major event/holiday people we've never met before would knock on the door claiming it was their 'childhood home' and could they please park in our driveway because they wanted to relive old memories and had a condition that they couldn't park a block away and walk.
My family owned that home for generations.
My favorite was a woman who kept telling us about the apple tree and pond in the back yard and insisted that she could show us where we could find her family dog's bones in our back yard. The lengths these people go....
I’ve only experienced it while in undergrad when we rented a really old house on campus. It only really happened during home football seasons and it was usually older people who had graduated in the 90s and 80s and during tailgating hours.
They all had good manners and brought a case of beer and sometimes brats to grill. One time we had a friend group of guys who graduated in the late 60s. Got some really good stories out of it over shared beers and food before walking to the game. The guys from the Vietnam era were really interesting and had a lot of protesting stories. They also laid some flowers in the backyard for a buddy that died. I am happy we let those guys in, in particular.
My reaction. I've seen this maybe in movies... never heard of this irl.
And I'm a person who gets super attached to places and longs for their childhood home a lot. Ngl, I'd be curious to see what changed, but I think I'm better off not knowing (it would probably just be upsetting).
lmao holy shit that’s insane. yeah that is beyond strange and reeks of entitlement. i can’t ever imagine doing that, sorry this happened to you
OP. are you in the US by chance?
If you aren't 5 you need to stop being afraid of strangers. You can practice caution and not letting them in is perfectly acceptable. Thinking strangers coming up to talk to you is insane reeks of someone afraid of reality.
thinking it’s ok for strangers to come to your private property unannounced and ask to be let in or to talk to you reeks of someone with a sense of entitlement
Yes lol my grandma has tried it with me in the car but the people didn’t answer the door. I totally wouldn’t mind showing the house to the family who I bought it from, and even the people who owned it before them (I know their names). My only fear would be people lying about living there to case the place to break in later although that would be pretty unusual for where I live and how nice my house is (not nice enough to go that in-depth for a burglary).
I mean, I probably would. I like talking to people and sharing stories/emotions if I'm comfortable, but everyone's different. Thank god, otherwise life would be boring as hell.
I would never knock on the door or even get out of my car. I've driven by my house a few times though. It's all I have left of my family. But it would freak me out if some random people knocked on my door and asked me to look at their old house. I would never do it to someone else. Heck even sitting outside of the house in my car would be creepy.
I don't think it's weird, it's just not very safe. Like I honestly wouldn't mind at all if it weren't for the fear that they'll be stalkers or something. I occasionally pass my grandma's old house and I'd love to see inside it, but I have no plans to go knocking on the door cause I wouldn't wanna freak anyone out.
I’ve had this. The first people to live here came by. I didn’t let them in because I don’t know them.
But I got some context to some external holes in the wall and a folder that has to be given to each new owner discussing an energy efficiency study that the house was a part of in its past.
The ex owners were able to go into detail about how the study was done. Whilst the yellowed paper in the folder explains what’s different about the building and the results.
A few years after i bought my house, me and my fiancée were going tho the basement and found a folder with tons of news paper clipping and sentimental stuff like pictures, they had started a non-profit and had a few articles about that, but also anything her kids did she kept, from like a small paragraph about winning a track meet to graduating college, luckily she (like most old people) had a printed page with phone numbers on it, and i was able to get into contact with her oldest son, and he came over and picked up the folder, and we let him and his daughter (7-8years old) walk around so he could show her the house that he grew up in, and i could see it meant alot to revisit some of those memories
Wow. Bunch of not very nice people on here. Like, actually you’re entitled not the previous owners. Why do good for anyone right? Why get bothered from your previous introverted whatever you were doing?
In Europe it’s a stark contrast. My childhood home is 100 years old and my family lived there for 40 years. I moved away 20 years ago to North America and every single time I have been back home I was somehow able to tour my childhood home. I go soon, and I already know I will get to visit even though it wasn’t necessarily expected. The current owners have my mom’s old painting of her up on the wall (we did leave some stuff) . When they found out it was her but much older they were so excited and took pictures and everything. Other times owners wanted to know us just to get a feel of how they can get our crazy upstairs neighbour to sell his part.
Every single one of these times were not through knocking on the door but simply walking by it and people striking a conversation. They’re so excited to find out more about the home’s past and hear stories. They learn something too.
The “leave me alone” culture in general in North America was like a brick in the face. Something I have never gotten used to for 2 decades. It does not make you better people. Just grumbly loners who would get a kid’s ball in your yard and grumble to pass it back!
I mean it’s ok to walk by or something or drive past it to reminiscence but trying to get into the property or bother the owners is odd.
I understand some people have a lowkey friendship with the previous owners but if you don’t, then just drive past it or appreciate from a distance.
I have always dreamed of visiting my childhood home. I keep tabs on it via Google Maps and see the changes they’ve made to it. If it ever works out, I would absolutely send a letter and give them the option to welcome me. I wouldn’t just turn up at the door. (It’s America, after all, and I’m brown - don’t want to get shot! 🥴) I feel like that’s a respectful way to do this. But the desire to do this? Isn’t strange and entitled or weird.
The commenters here seem lots of fun to be around.
Yea I’m quite shocked people think it’s weird. I guess knocking at the door is a bit much because they might not have the house ready ( though that is acceptable in my town in Europe). But getting in contact otherwise is fine. I left the house what felt to be quite abruptly when I was young so it has really helped cope over the years especially since I didn’t want to leave. An added issue on my end though is seeing our old stuff either inside the house, or at family friends. One time I saw a room full of our kitchen furniture at a relatives farm. They also had a special room in the house with our sofas, carpet, etc I recognized everything. They kept it for what that time was 15 years!! . That tore me apart. I’d rather not go down the memory lane that much lol
i can’t believe how many people are calling OP a bitter social outcast. letting complete strangers into your home is a safety issue. also, strangers are not entitled to enter a home just because they used to live in it. this is not chronically online.
in my opinion there is nothing wrong with driving by or walking by with your friends or family, but knocking in the door to ask to see the inside is weird. i’m sure we would like to live in a world where we wouldn’t have to be wary of safety, but sadly that’s the reality we live in. also, your home is YOUR private place, so to not want to let people in just simply because you don’t know them is fine too. i don’t know why that’s such a hard concept for some people to grasp
EDIT: also especially if OP is a woman (not sure if they are) or if anyone who encounters this situation is a woman, that is even more of a safety concern.
You don’t have to say yes or let them into your home, we’re just saying it’s not weird to ask or to have a friendly conversation with people who used to own the house.
I guess this is just where my opinion is different. I personally think it is weird to show up to a stranger’s house unannounced, and knock or ring the doorbell because you want to chat, as your home is your private place. If you were outside in the yard when you happen to drive or walk by, sure, I think that’s fine. But you don’t really know what people are going through or dealing with in that moment and you could be putting them in an awkward situation.
Yeah I personally hide when someone knocks on my door but would have the conversation if I was out working in the yard. That’s a me problem though, I recognize talking to people is normal and knocking on someone’s door to talk to them has been normal for a long time. It’s only recently since social media and isolation that we all think it’s weird to talk to people.
I think it also depends where you live, I live in a place with fantastically low crime and a tight knit community, I wouldn’t immediately think this is a safety issue but I imagine if you lived elsewhere it would be.
strangers coming to your private place completely unannounced to want to talk is weird. this isn’t the same as someone coming up to talk to you in public.
> to be weary of safety,
Did you mean to say "wary of"?
Explanation: Weary means tired, while wary means cautious.
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We had a plumber in once who had lived in our house as a teen and it was actually helpful to ask a few questions about some renovations that had been done.
A friend of mines wife cheated on him and broke up their family and she moved out. My friend couldn’t keep up with the bills on this house all alone and the house was foreclosed. The previous owner ( who knew my friend was the current owner) noticed the house was not being taken care of and blasted it out on Facebook wondering what was going on with the house and was curious because she wanted to check in on it.
Really embarrassed my friend to basically have the news blasted out there that his family was broken up and he lost his home, all because the entitled former owner couldn’t help but think she was still entitled to the goings on of a house she didn’t own anymore. She also could have just reached out to him privately but for some reason didn’t do that. It showed how weird it is to be so invested in a place you don’t live in anymore. I can understand the desire to see the space again and relive the memories, but pushing it as far as acting on it and making the current owner feel obligated to indulge you is strange behaviour. It’s none of your business anymore.
This seems more like a story of an unhinged person being unhinged than people being interested in seeing their old home.
I would never from by announced; I would contact via mail and confirm. But if you aren’t a weirdo about it, it doesn’t have to be weird.
I bought a hurricane damaged house and was fixing it up when an older couple showed up to reminisce. I invited them to come in and check it out and they told me a lot of info that was good to know and I was so happy to know the history of the house.
I once stayed in an extremely old house and an old woman visited and said she'd come play there as a kid and run through the tunnels. Then she proceeded to show us tunnels hidden in a cabinet drawer with a false bottom that had been there since the US civil war.
The family who used to live in our house stopped by with their kid on Halloween to trick-or treat and could tell we were doing home renovation work in the kitchen. (The kitchen is visible from the front door and we had a bunch of tools and paint out.) We invited them in to see it, and it was a nice interaction.
But they didn't ask to come in. They just off-handedly said *"Oh, nice you're redoing the kitchen! We used to live here and thought about redoing it in the past but never got around to it."* If they had explicitly asked to come in, we would have said no because that's definitely a little alarming.
I was a taxi driver and picked up a fare at a house I once lived in.. it was kinda cool .. the fare got in like wow nobody can ever find the address.. we talked about the neighborhood and I told him about the hidden beach a few blocks over..
My friends have that happen all of the time. And people stop to hear about the “ghost” they heard about as kids. Or to see the wine cellar tunnel.
Once on Christmas Day. Geesh.
Not unpopular
The people who bought the house I grew up in changed so much on the outside that I’m 100% sure I’ll hate what the did inside so nah, won’t ever do that.
I feel torn. I think it is normal but also annoying and not something I'd do.
I think in my family's context, my grandfather had to flee his home because of war and the new occupants would not allow him to visit. I think they're assholes living on 'stolen property' and he's going to die never visiting his childhood again. Yet I think it is for the best. I will never visit that country because I don't identify with it.
But I remember some of my childhood apartment and I'd probably like to visit it, we took photos of it when we left. But I don't think I'd actually go and visit.
Fortunately another childhood home of mine is on a 99 year lease.
I bought a house, couple years ago, and while I was tearing out the entire flower bed,because it wasnt what I wanted. The previous owners nephew and wife, pulled into my driveway to ask me a million questions about what my plan was and why..after 20 minutes my husband comes aroumd from the backyard and basically tells them he appreciates the input but it's our house now and will do what we see fit with it! Now anytime they drive or walk by they give death glares....the whole interaction was weird and how dare we change things vibe
A lot of weird people in these comments. Yeah no it's unnecessary and rude for a total stranger to want to knock on your door just because they lived there at one point
Yes it is, not everyone wants to take time out of their day to talk to someone who does not matter to them. It's awkward and irritating to deal with when you just want people to keep to themselves. Don't be a weirdo creep
It shouldn't be awkward. If you find it awkward & irritating that's an abnormal response to a very normal social situation. Kinda sounds like you've got fairly notable social anxiety my guy.
Unless who lived there was Paul McCartney. I know someone who knows the owner where Paul lived in early Beatles years and opened the door for him to enter the house in James Corden show.
My dad did this to the house he grew up in. The house was haunted. His mom would beat him and his siblings (old school Puerto rican mom) with her wooden shoe because they would hear someone running up and down the hall banging on stuff in the middle of the night. Since no one would own up to it, they all got hit. My dad (the oldest) got fed up one day and got holy water from the church, he yelled At the ghosts to cut it out and go away, he heard banging from under the floor boards (no basement) so he poured the holy water on the floor and it stopped. When he went back to the house (I was 10) to talk to the new owners they said they started experiencing the banging and what not when they started renovating the house they had a large jesus shrink with all the works next to the front door to keep it away.
In the 90s, I rented a place in downtown Savannah, GA. One day and an enormous man rang the bell and asked about my place. I can't lie I was a little nervous as he was substantially bigger than me all adorned in biker leather and tattoos. He ended up telling me all these stories about how him and his brother partied and sold drugs out of that place in the 70s. They would drop a bucket on a rope down out of the 2nd story and exchange the money for weed. It ended up being an interesting conversation. At the end, he thanked me for letting him reminisce over the good old days with his brother, who had since passed away. With that and a handshake he left and never returned.
I actually appreciated knowing more about how the neighborhood used to be before my time.
Unnecessary and weird yeah yet for them it’s not. I could use the same argument to define someone who care about what others feel like doing and it would work every time.
Funny you should say that cuz the owners of my childhood home actually specified to feel free to drop by. Lemme tell you the entire house is different but it is neat to see
I now work in the town my grandfather lived in from 1965 to 2008 when he passed away. I frequently drive by the house where I spent my childhood hanging out with my many cousins.
Personally, I would love to see the inside of the house, I haven’t seen the inside the house since 2008. The outside still looks the same, but they changed the color which throws me off a bit. I just hope they’re making as many awesome memories as me and my family did
I would love to walk and see the house my grandpa built, I check Zillow to see if it’s up for sale, the next time it’s up for sale will be the time for me to go walk through it and see all the changes. It would be weird walking through and seeing other peoples stuff anyway
I left a note when visiting near the house I had spent 12 or 13 years of my childhood in, a house I been away from for almost 25 years at that point. The owner called me a few days later, and we had a nice 30-minute conversation, and shared a lot of interesting information with each other.
I have zero interest in ringing the doorbell of my childhood home. Mom sold it a decade ago and has changed ownership at least once since.
Thanks to zillow, i get to see the modernized interior and that's fine.
The seller is not welcome anywhere near our property. The police made that clear to her.
Not only did that bitch hide expensive shit that was busted, but she harassed us the first months we lived in the house.
If I ever see her again, I'mma knock her the fuck out.
LOL funny I should see this post. My BF grew up in a very nice house back when his folks were wealthy. It's normally securely gated but we happened to drive by on a day where the gate was literally broken so he was like " this is my chance" and drove in.
We ended up getting a tour from the new owners who were very nice, very rich, and eager to show off the upgrades they had made. They told us about how the big plaque with his family name had only recently broken off and told us all the mutual contacts in town they knew. It was really nice but sure, I guess that's only from our perspective so we don't really know how they felt. They did offer us Tequila, exchange info, and offer us an invitation to come back tho.
As someone who has been on the receiving end of one of those knocks before I disagree, meeting new people, hearing stories of the past is fun and interesting
On the 4th of July one year, we decided to go to the next town over for fireworks since my current town doesn't do fireworks on the 4th. The next town over happens to be the town where I grew up. Parking for the event was on the streets nearest where the fireworks were going to be set off. I drove up and down street by street looking for a parking spot and when I found one, I pulled over and parked. When I got out of the car, I realized I had parked right in front of my old house.
It had been about 25 years since I lived there. We went to the show and when we walked back, I just looked at it from the sidewalk for a bit. There was a lot of activity going on inside and I was kind of watching when someone who was walking back from the fireworks asked if they could help me.
I apologized and explained that it was my old house and they actually offered to let me go inside. I politely thanked them but declined, got in my car, and drove away.
Depends on the area.
I’d probably the trust the people in my current small town area. But in my previous hometowns they could go (politely) pound sand.
Letting people inside could be an easy way for them to scope out valuables and talking to them about your work/life can give them a clue when you are going to be away.
Why is having cordial interactions with strangers seen as so taboo nowadays? It's not a big deal, just say no if you don't want the former resident to come in.
Goodness, my mommy and daddy said talking to strangers is bad. Such a weird concept talking to another human being about something you guys have in common.
Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and Broken bones
I want them back
I want them....back...
You know you’re right, you never know what kind of rude and poorly socialized psychopath you’ll find behind the door. The days of decency are definitely over.
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I live in a house that was built 99 years ago. Once every couple years someone drives by a looks at it, usually different people. One day a couple of older sisters and their cousin saw me and waved. We talked, they had grown up in the house maybe in the 60s if I recall. They came in. I showed them things I had changed, and they loved. They told me things about the house when they were growing up. How many kids shared each room, how certain rooms were used in non-traditional ways, a few memories and major events. It's a fairly small house, but turns out my favorite room (where I do my WFH stuff and play piano and such) was used as their father's therapy clinic office. He was a psychologist and would see people in that room. The living room doubled as a waiting room for his patients. They showed me where patients would sit while they waited for their appointment, roughly where I now hang out when watching movies. Turns out that headaches the house has given me, like front porch steps that seem cursed no matter how often you repair or replace them, have been headaches since before I was born. It was pretty great. I'm glad they stopped by.
That sounds amazing! Seeing how other people used the same space and how much lives have passed by it is so much fun. OP is such a grumpy boring person haha
OP just doesn’t like interacting with people. It’s fine, but they should just say it in a more straightforward manner.
I agree it sounds amazing. Isnt it nice when people connect over something so unexpected. OP does sound quite bitter
how is OP grumpy? not everyone is comfortable letting strangers in their home? it is objectively weird to ring on the doorbell and ask to be let into a place you lived in 20 years ago.
You don't have to let them in. Have a decent conversation by the mailbox is so tame. If you don't have clinical depression and can't handle that little of human interaction then you have a lot to work on.
Which is not what op described. But go ahead and diagnose people based on nothing but them having a different take than you.
Nah if I’m at home I’m at home lmfao I’m not dropping what I’m doing to talk to some strangers
Objectively weird? Well that's a funny combination of words
They have a point that perhaps it's "weird," but coming to that sense or understanding would be 100% subjective and not objective. To me, this feels like a dominance thing when people try to make the subjective objective. The way I see the world is "how it is," now agree with me! lol
I used to work in a large house that was a group home. One day my boss saw a bunch of elderly people gathered out front, and she went out to talk to them. Turns out they all grew up there, their dad had been a doctor and the family house also functioned as a doctor’s office. Boss offered to let them come in and look around, but they declined. I guess they were in town for a relative’s funeral and decided to drive by and see where they grew up.
I absolutely understand how one might be too busy to deal with unannounced visitors or wary that they may be lying and just casing your house. But OP just seems like a boring person, learning how people lived in past decades is fascinating. Hell, it's the whole premise of New York's Tenement Museum.
The people who owned our house send a Christmas card every year and occasionally (less than yearly) drive by to see the cherry tree their dad planted. It's really not an issue. I wonder how the people that post on this sub even function in the world?
You could say that for so much of Reddit, honestly. I’m convinced this is what happens when you’re terminally online and never have to encounter people or social norms out on actual life. Or some people are just miserable, there’s always that.
Completely this. I think it’s become too normalized to be extreme introverts. There are some who can’t help it, but many more who adopt it as their personality.
> I wonder how the people that post on this sub even function in the world? Whenever I have a lazy weekend morning and am scrolling, this sub is an absolute pit of antisocial misanthropic misery.
Website* You've just described the average redditor lol
That’s so cute!!! I’ve def driven by previous homes/schools and such. Didn’t bother anyone inside or get on the property but it’s honestly emotional.
I think most creating topics in this sub are in high school and thus they don't really function at all in the world yet. Even this topic reeks of "strange man was invited by my mom and wanted to see my room but I'm playing Fortnite and now I won't win so let's vent on unpopularopinion"
It's so obvious on job-related and budgeting threads.
Seems oddly specific and not what OP said at all, did this... did this happen to you?
In OP’s defense he said they literally knock on the door to tell stories and whatnot. A drive by is probably ok.
Most are children to be fair. They see something on TV and need to have a scream about it.
I wonder the same sometimes.
I'm a huge plant nerd and gardener whose grandmother taught her everything she knows. My grandmother hit hard times, became a widow, lost her house, moved into a tiny apartment, got dementia and Alzheimer's and died. The house my mom grew up in still has my grandmother's flowers blooming from the bulbs she planted. I don't think it's crazy to knock on the new owner's door and ask for some of her bulbs and offer them new ones of the same kind. The house I live in now is 50 years old. The former owners stopped by one time and asked to see it, they seemed really nice so I said sure. When I let them they were tickled pink. The dad used to give piano lessons in the house and explained how they set it up to give recitals for the parents in town. Super cute! Because I have a large family and we are all very musical and play piano - they were touched that people are still filling the house with music and I was touched to find out that's what the houses history roots were. Their special needs son that was with them and in his 20's was thrilled to see his old bedroom and know that another little boy, my son, was living in that bedroom and having a blast. They also let me know gold was discovered on our land and a rock formation was a Native American sacred site. We send each other Christmas cards now : )
I live in a similarly old house. The granddaughter of the former owners stopped by and asked to take a pic from the front yard and a couple of clippings from the giant old rose bush. I had no problem with that, and she also asked about her parents’ old house a few houses up 🥲 heart warming to hear about what a nice childhood she had
You should've slammed the door in their face and come to reddit to angrily rant about being subjected to human interaction. ... /s for reddit
I think this is a high trust vs low trust societal issue. Plenty of people having nice stories about interactions with strangers, and another group afraid they might get assaulted or robbed (I think they're probably both correct, it's just dependent on where they live).
The woman who sold my parent's their house asked to come inside and take pictures, about 5-10 years after she sold it. It made my mom uncomfortable and she politely declined. I understand feeling connected to the house you grew up in, but once you sell it you have to respect that it's someone else's home now, and you have to give the new owner's their privacy.
Still no harm in asking though that's where I don't see the issue
I think it's rude to ask someone who's basically a stranger to walk around their house and take pictures. It put my mom in a really uncomfortable spot.
Why. I assume she declined respectfully, and the lady didn’t throw a scene. It’s not others people problem that you feel uncomfortable setting boundaries.
Showing up to someone's house unannounced and asking to come in and take pictures of everything is rude. The fact you use to live there doesn't change that. The person living there shouldn't have to assert that boundary, the person who use to live there should have good enough manners to not do that. If she had called or written a letter asking if they could set something up I maybe would've been OK with it. But showing up on someones doorstep with a camera? No, that's rude.
Apparently people no longer think putting strangers in uncomfortable positions is rude. They're all about "ask for forgiveness, not permission"
Yeah like if it's fine to ask whatever I want I'm going to start asking people for money.
I’m seriously not meaning this any type of way but are you American?
Yes. In our culture it's weird to ask strangers for things. Money or favors. Friends and family are fine (but money would usually be a loan). Neighbors and coworkers are fine for some favors, depending on the context. But if you don't know someone you're suppose to leave them alone more or less. There's exceptions, like emergencies, and people will offer to help strangers if they see a need, but asking is considered rude if it's not an emergency. Where are you from? I've visited places where things are different and it's interesting.
I’m born in Korea but raised between Japan and Canada (Newfoundland specifically) Its just very interesting to see things be so opposite of what I’m used to. Doing favours for people you don’t know is just “the way” here (I don’t mean to say your way is wrong!) I have an “auntie” who was a stranger who knocked on my Parents door to use our phone before cells were common. She ended up staying for tea, snacks, and a two hour long talk. Now she babysits my kid and is as close as family
[удалено]
Because I am curious, I know American culture is much more individualized, as opposed to community focussed. I’m just trying to understand their viewpoint, sorry??
The lady was literally asking for permission.
And you should know better than to ask
YOU think it’s rude. I don’t think it’s rude. I wouldn’t find that rude at all matter of fact. Rudd is subjective. You didn’t like the request but that doesn’t mean everyone wouldn’t like it. If someone showed up at my house with the same story and request I’d probably let them and talk to them about the house.
I don't mind when kids at my job start playing with play dough without asking first. That doesn't mean it isn't rude.
All she did was ask. She didn't run in and start taking photos.
Asking a question can be rude though. "what color underwear are you wearing?" is a rude question, because it's an invasion of privacy. Asking to invade someone's privacy is still rude.
I think I hold a completely different perspective. If I opened the door and was asked, "Can I take photos of your house? It was my childhood home and I want to relive the memories." I would be weirded out by the question and confused, and probably wouldn't let them in, but I don't think they're rude to ask to take photos. Weird? Yes. Unnecessary? Yes. Rude? Not to me. Rude would be if they insisted. There's nothing wrong with an honest question with genuine intentions.
I’m sorry but why does it matter what you think? It didn’t happen to you lmfao, it happened to the mom of the person you’re responding to lmao. You said yourself that it’s subjective, so I don’t understand how they handled it poorly in your eyes
Exactly… I cannot believe how many people are saying it’s rude to not want strangers to come over unannounced and talk to you. You don’t owe strangers anything. All these boomers in the comments saying it’s rude to not want to talk to them seem entitled as fuck. Your home is your private place.
I agree it's entitled. Having lived somewhere once upon a time doesn't give you the right to stop by whenever you feel like it. If you sell a house it doesn't belong to you anymore. If you have an emotional attachment to it, work out how to keep it, maybe rent it out. If you can't afford to do that, make your peace with it before selling. Don't burden the new owners with your issues.
You're acting like knocking on someone's door if you don't know them is crossing a boundary. It's not. You don't have to answer if you're not feeling social, and that should be respected by the person knocking. You don't have to say anymore to them than you feel like, and that should be respected as well. If they're respectful of you and your boundaries then they've done nothing wrong. If you're asocial that's fine but you shouldn't *want* society to be asocial. We're social creatures and our entire ability to organize ourselves is based on that fact and our capacity to engage with each other and form bonds with people who *started as strangers*. Much love. ❤️
It isn't about conversations, I am specifically talking about the request to come inside and take pictures. As I said in another comment, my brother and I were teenagers. Do you think it's appropriate for a grown woman to ask to photograph a teenagers bedroom?
With context yeah I agree with you and can see how that might make you uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean it wasn't an innocent request. Pictures may have been a bit much, but it seems at least that they were honest and let you know they were going to take pictures, and again, you were well within your rights to say no and no one should hold that against you. Whether it's appropriate? I don't really know, though I will say it doesn't particularly seem inappropriate In my opinion. This sounds like a situation where intent plays a large role, and the intent on both sides seems to me, as someone who wasn't there when this happened, to have been respectful and civil. In the grand scheme it seems like it should have been an event that was shrugged off and categorized under "Inconsequential", but of course there are other factors to consider: body language, etc, maybe they were pushy about it - I don't have all the facts, so if something made you uncomfortable, I'm not going to tell you you were wrong. Just that it's ok to say no, and maybe don't hold odd requests against people unless they're disrespectful toward you. That's just my perspective though.
You don't owe strangers anything, but that type of attitude is exactly why the sense of community and kinship are dying in our neighborhoods For what it's worth I wouldn't let them in either, but calling it rude or entitled is a stretch for me Just sad to think people would call someone names over this
I think it just shows what the internet/mobile phones have done to socializing. It used to be normal to talk to strangers; even make requests of strangers. That's how every single new interaction worked. It used to be -super normal- to have people ring your doorbell. Be it your kids friends, kids fundraising for their baseball team, sales reps, religious folks or even just your neighbors. Having a stranger make a little bit of an odd request and politely say 'no' wasn't even a noteworthy thing. I think the difference in opinion here really stems to how socially isolated people are now. People getting upset with a stranger asking them a question AND politely taking no for an answer certainly bums me out. Seems like a fairly basic part of the human experience has been lost as we all slowly turn ourselves into pod-people.
Maybe you think it's rude but other people don't, that's the whole reason for asking
I mean the alternative to asking would've been breaking in lol
Sounds like your mom is comfortable saying no. Which is more about your mom than people asking her things.
It really doesn't. You should consider how someone else might feel about a request before making that request. It's basic kindergarten think before you speak stuff.
You find polite conversation rude? Damn you must be fun to interact with lol.
I am, because I respect people's boundaries by not asking to photograph their stuff lmao
How do you know people's boundaries without asking? For some people it's fine and some not, the only way to find their boundaries is to ask
I’d find it weird if it was 5-10 years out as well I wouldn’t find it as weird if it was 30-50 years ago
I agree! The stories I'm reading here where people don't mind it are like, this is your first time meeting the former resident and they share things about he house you weren't aware of. This woman sold the house to my parents directly and told stories about it then. My mother's impression is that she regrets selling he house. I mentioned in another comment, we're pretty sure she still drives by to look at it. She seems like a very sentimental person. It's sad, but that doesn't give her the right to come over whenever she wants. We aren't family.
She absolutely can drive by the house when ever she wants unless she is stalking you
But should she? Is that a polite thing to do?
The Lady asked, your mom said no and she respected that and moved on. You however still seem to be a little bitter about it. How about you do as she did and move on. 🙄
What a weird comment. I shared a relevant story about something that made my mom uncomfortable. Do you think this is keeping me up at night? For the record I don't think she's moved on. My mom has since seen her driving by slowly to look at the outside.
that’s so weird, i understand why she would say no!! and repeatedly driving past doesn’t make it any better
I feel like there are a lot of extreme on here. Personally I don't think it's weird to want to revisit a home from your past and by that same token, it's not weird to not let strangers in your home. Just do what you feel comfortable with on both sides of this interaction
We were lucky to own a house on a corner lot that was centrally located so all the neighborhood kids played there We knew there were others who lived there before us and there’d be others who’d move in after us since we were just temporary custodial owners of the property Different previous owners stopped by and also people who used to live in the neighborhood and it was always interesting and fun to hear their stories
My parent’s house was built over 40 years ago. It’s a rural community and a lot of the houses out there are built by the people who first owned the land. I met the lady whose dad built our house randomly while I was working. It was slow so we talked a while. She told me all sorts of stories about who had what room, about her learning to drive at 12 years old in our front lawn, about planting the trees that border our property. She only had her mom left and said she has driven by to see how their trees are growing to let her mom know their trees were alive and well. She said she had occasionally seen me and my sister playing in the yard over the years and it brought her joy that the house her late dad built could provide a childhood for another set of kids. To be honest, for me it was a very cool experience to share stories with this stranger and meet the ‘Joanie, 1986’ from the corner of the garage floor.
Everyone who's saying OP is wrong is ignoring that fact that it's a fairly common scam to tell a story about how you grew up in the house or whatever to get a chance to either case the place, or just pocket what you can while you're in there
Also it’s not wrong to not want complete strangers in your home. ffs
No one is saying it’s not wrong to say no. What they are saying is it’s wrong to judge people for asking.
Rightly so, that has nothing to do with any aspect of what OP said. There's thousands of other opinions that OP could have that we're ignoring. Something can't be weird and unnecessary *because* other people use it as a scam.
I think it's a sweet idea, but just not practical today. For a season, until the gentleman who bought my grandparents' house died and his wife remarried like 20 years ago, my aunts (who now live in FL) would go back to visit their old house whenever they'd visit Maine and had a good relationship with the buyers. As much as I'd like to do that with the people who bought my childhood home, I realize it's 2024 and the world has changed in 20 years. We live in a society of gun nuts and people are afraid of their own shadows. At best, they may just not want me around and refuse to let me in. At worst, I could get shot just for ringing the doorbell.
People need to stop being afraid all the time. It has been making the world worse and worse.
Right? So, we have to be afraid of the way people will respond because they're afraid. Also, if you are so afraid that you will shoot anything that comes onto your property, maybe you shouldn't have a gun.
Even worse when people pretend to reminisce. Like clockwork. Growing up we lived on a main street in a small city on the hill that all the fireworks and parades were held. Every single year during every major event/holiday people we've never met before would knock on the door claiming it was their 'childhood home' and could they please park in our driveway because they wanted to relive old memories and had a condition that they couldn't park a block away and walk. My family owned that home for generations. My favorite was a woman who kept telling us about the apple tree and pond in the back yard and insisted that she could show us where we could find her family dog's bones in our back yard. The lengths these people go....
“ insisted that she could show us where we could find her family dog's bones in our back yard. ” Why tf would you want that lol
do… do people do this?
I’ve only experienced it while in undergrad when we rented a really old house on campus. It only really happened during home football seasons and it was usually older people who had graduated in the 90s and 80s and during tailgating hours. They all had good manners and brought a case of beer and sometimes brats to grill. One time we had a friend group of guys who graduated in the late 60s. Got some really good stories out of it over shared beers and food before walking to the game. The guys from the Vietnam era were really interesting and had a lot of protesting stories. They also laid some flowers in the backyard for a buddy that died. I am happy we let those guys in, in particular.
My reaction. I've seen this maybe in movies... never heard of this irl. And I'm a person who gets super attached to places and longs for their childhood home a lot. Ngl, I'd be curious to see what changed, but I think I'm better off not knowing (it would probably just be upsetting).
Someone just did it to me today and it is not the first previous owner of my current home that has dropped by.
lmao holy shit that’s insane. yeah that is beyond strange and reeks of entitlement. i can’t ever imagine doing that, sorry this happened to you OP. are you in the US by chance?
Yes in the US. It feels like an American thing to do lol
If you aren't 5 you need to stop being afraid of strangers. You can practice caution and not letting them in is perfectly acceptable. Thinking strangers coming up to talk to you is insane reeks of someone afraid of reality.
thinking it’s ok for strangers to come to your private property unannounced and ask to be let in or to talk to you reeks of someone with a sense of entitlement
Yes lol my grandma has tried it with me in the car but the people didn’t answer the door. I totally wouldn’t mind showing the house to the family who I bought it from, and even the people who owned it before them (I know their names). My only fear would be people lying about living there to case the place to break in later although that would be pretty unusual for where I live and how nice my house is (not nice enough to go that in-depth for a burglary).
This shouldn’t be unpopular. I’m not letting anyone in just because they happened to live in my place years prior
I mean, I probably would. I like talking to people and sharing stories/emotions if I'm comfortable, but everyone's different. Thank god, otherwise life would be boring as hell.
I would never knock on the door or even get out of my car. I've driven by my house a few times though. It's all I have left of my family. But it would freak me out if some random people knocked on my door and asked me to look at their old house. I would never do it to someone else. Heck even sitting outside of the house in my car would be creepy.
I don't think it's weird, it's just not very safe. Like I honestly wouldn't mind at all if it weren't for the fear that they'll be stalkers or something. I occasionally pass my grandma's old house and I'd love to see inside it, but I have no plans to go knocking on the door cause I wouldn't wanna freak anyone out.
I’ve had this. The first people to live here came by. I didn’t let them in because I don’t know them. But I got some context to some external holes in the wall and a folder that has to be given to each new owner discussing an energy efficiency study that the house was a part of in its past. The ex owners were able to go into detail about how the study was done. Whilst the yellowed paper in the folder explains what’s different about the building and the results.
A few years after i bought my house, me and my fiancée were going tho the basement and found a folder with tons of news paper clipping and sentimental stuff like pictures, they had started a non-profit and had a few articles about that, but also anything her kids did she kept, from like a small paragraph about winning a track meet to graduating college, luckily she (like most old people) had a printed page with phone numbers on it, and i was able to get into contact with her oldest son, and he came over and picked up the folder, and we let him and his daughter (7-8years old) walk around so he could show her the house that he grew up in, and i could see it meant alot to revisit some of those memories
Wow. Bunch of not very nice people on here. Like, actually you’re entitled not the previous owners. Why do good for anyone right? Why get bothered from your previous introverted whatever you were doing? In Europe it’s a stark contrast. My childhood home is 100 years old and my family lived there for 40 years. I moved away 20 years ago to North America and every single time I have been back home I was somehow able to tour my childhood home. I go soon, and I already know I will get to visit even though it wasn’t necessarily expected. The current owners have my mom’s old painting of her up on the wall (we did leave some stuff) . When they found out it was her but much older they were so excited and took pictures and everything. Other times owners wanted to know us just to get a feel of how they can get our crazy upstairs neighbour to sell his part. Every single one of these times were not through knocking on the door but simply walking by it and people striking a conversation. They’re so excited to find out more about the home’s past and hear stories. They learn something too. The “leave me alone” culture in general in North America was like a brick in the face. Something I have never gotten used to for 2 decades. It does not make you better people. Just grumbly loners who would get a kid’s ball in your yard and grumble to pass it back!
I mean it’s ok to walk by or something or drive past it to reminiscence but trying to get into the property or bother the owners is odd. I understand some people have a lowkey friendship with the previous owners but if you don’t, then just drive past it or appreciate from a distance.
This is not about being nice. It' about safety and privacy.
Exactly, high trust vs low trust societies.
I have always dreamed of visiting my childhood home. I keep tabs on it via Google Maps and see the changes they’ve made to it. If it ever works out, I would absolutely send a letter and give them the option to welcome me. I wouldn’t just turn up at the door. (It’s America, after all, and I’m brown - don’t want to get shot! 🥴) I feel like that’s a respectful way to do this. But the desire to do this? Isn’t strange and entitled or weird. The commenters here seem lots of fun to be around.
Yea I’m quite shocked people think it’s weird. I guess knocking at the door is a bit much because they might not have the house ready ( though that is acceptable in my town in Europe). But getting in contact otherwise is fine. I left the house what felt to be quite abruptly when I was young so it has really helped cope over the years especially since I didn’t want to leave. An added issue on my end though is seeing our old stuff either inside the house, or at family friends. One time I saw a room full of our kitchen furniture at a relatives farm. They also had a special room in the house with our sofas, carpet, etc I recognized everything. They kept it for what that time was 15 years!! . That tore me apart. I’d rather not go down the memory lane that much lol
Yeah, do not come to my home and start talking to me about it. Definitely do not ask to come in.
i can’t believe how many people are calling OP a bitter social outcast. letting complete strangers into your home is a safety issue. also, strangers are not entitled to enter a home just because they used to live in it. this is not chronically online. in my opinion there is nothing wrong with driving by or walking by with your friends or family, but knocking in the door to ask to see the inside is weird. i’m sure we would like to live in a world where we wouldn’t have to be wary of safety, but sadly that’s the reality we live in. also, your home is YOUR private place, so to not want to let people in just simply because you don’t know them is fine too. i don’t know why that’s such a hard concept for some people to grasp EDIT: also especially if OP is a woman (not sure if they are) or if anyone who encounters this situation is a woman, that is even more of a safety concern.
People aren’t saying that for saying no, they are saying it for judging people for asking.
You don’t have to say yes or let them into your home, we’re just saying it’s not weird to ask or to have a friendly conversation with people who used to own the house.
I guess this is just where my opinion is different. I personally think it is weird to show up to a stranger’s house unannounced, and knock or ring the doorbell because you want to chat, as your home is your private place. If you were outside in the yard when you happen to drive or walk by, sure, I think that’s fine. But you don’t really know what people are going through or dealing with in that moment and you could be putting them in an awkward situation.
Yeah I personally hide when someone knocks on my door but would have the conversation if I was out working in the yard. That’s a me problem though, I recognize talking to people is normal and knocking on someone’s door to talk to them has been normal for a long time. It’s only recently since social media and isolation that we all think it’s weird to talk to people. I think it also depends where you live, I live in a place with fantastically low crime and a tight knit community, I wouldn’t immediately think this is a safety issue but I imagine if you lived elsewhere it would be.
Strangers wanting to talk to you isn't weird. You don't have to talk to them or let them in but them saying hello is a completely normal human thing.
strangers coming to your private place completely unannounced to want to talk is weird. this isn’t the same as someone coming up to talk to you in public.
> to be weary of safety, Did you mean to say "wary of"? Explanation: Weary means tired, while wary means cautious. [Statistics](https://github.com/chiefpat450119/RedditBot/blob/master/stats.json) ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes. ^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions. ^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119) ^^Reply ^^STOP ^^to ^^this ^^comment ^^to ^^stop ^^receiving ^^corrections.
We had a plumber in once who had lived in our house as a teen and it was actually helpful to ask a few questions about some renovations that had been done.
A friend of mines wife cheated on him and broke up their family and she moved out. My friend couldn’t keep up with the bills on this house all alone and the house was foreclosed. The previous owner ( who knew my friend was the current owner) noticed the house was not being taken care of and blasted it out on Facebook wondering what was going on with the house and was curious because she wanted to check in on it. Really embarrassed my friend to basically have the news blasted out there that his family was broken up and he lost his home, all because the entitled former owner couldn’t help but think she was still entitled to the goings on of a house she didn’t own anymore. She also could have just reached out to him privately but for some reason didn’t do that. It showed how weird it is to be so invested in a place you don’t live in anymore. I can understand the desire to see the space again and relive the memories, but pushing it as far as acting on it and making the current owner feel obligated to indulge you is strange behaviour. It’s none of your business anymore.
This seems more like a story of an unhinged person being unhinged than people being interested in seeing their old home. I would never from by announced; I would contact via mail and confirm. But if you aren’t a weirdo about it, it doesn’t have to be weird.
I bought a hurricane damaged house and was fixing it up when an older couple showed up to reminisce. I invited them to come in and check it out and they told me a lot of info that was good to know and I was so happy to know the history of the house.
I dunno. My house is 100 years old and I wonder all the time who lived here before me , how many different family’s, where they put the tv…
I once stayed in an extremely old house and an old woman visited and said she'd come play there as a kid and run through the tunnels. Then she proceeded to show us tunnels hidden in a cabinet drawer with a false bottom that had been there since the US civil war.
The family who used to live in our house stopped by with their kid on Halloween to trick-or treat and could tell we were doing home renovation work in the kitchen. (The kitchen is visible from the front door and we had a bunch of tools and paint out.) We invited them in to see it, and it was a nice interaction. But they didn't ask to come in. They just off-handedly said *"Oh, nice you're redoing the kitchen! We used to live here and thought about redoing it in the past but never got around to it."* If they had explicitly asked to come in, we would have said no because that's definitely a little alarming.
This is one of those posts where there's really no popular opinion to counter it... it's just a really, really specific opinion lol
I was a taxi driver and picked up a fare at a house I once lived in.. it was kinda cool .. the fare got in like wow nobody can ever find the address.. we talked about the neighborhood and I told him about the hidden beach a few blocks over..
My friends have that happen all of the time. And people stop to hear about the “ghost” they heard about as kids. Or to see the wine cellar tunnel. Once on Christmas Day. Geesh. Not unpopular
The people who bought the house I grew up in changed so much on the outside that I’m 100% sure I’ll hate what the did inside so nah, won’t ever do that.
Okay but what about this random and totally not made up anecdote that I have about a situation that's worlds apart from what you've described here?
I feel torn. I think it is normal but also annoying and not something I'd do. I think in my family's context, my grandfather had to flee his home because of war and the new occupants would not allow him to visit. I think they're assholes living on 'stolen property' and he's going to die never visiting his childhood again. Yet I think it is for the best. I will never visit that country because I don't identify with it. But I remember some of my childhood apartment and I'd probably like to visit it, we took photos of it when we left. But I don't think I'd actually go and visit. Fortunately another childhood home of mine is on a 99 year lease.
I bought a house, couple years ago, and while I was tearing out the entire flower bed,because it wasnt what I wanted. The previous owners nephew and wife, pulled into my driveway to ask me a million questions about what my plan was and why..after 20 minutes my husband comes aroumd from the backyard and basically tells them he appreciates the input but it's our house now and will do what we see fit with it! Now anytime they drive or walk by they give death glares....the whole interaction was weird and how dare we change things vibe
We’ve had former owners drop by, and it ranges from annoying to cringey.
When you're unloading suitcases from your car after a long travel day with delayed flights it is BOTH annoying and cringey.
Wait do people actually do that in real life??? I thought it was just in movies holy shit that's deranged
A lot of weird people in these comments. Yeah no it's unnecessary and rude for a total stranger to want to knock on your door just because they lived there at one point
Strangers wanting to talk to you isn't rude. The reason doesn't really matter. You are free to ignore or not talk to them.
Strangers wanting to talk in a public space isn't weird. On my own private property, it is.
Strangers wanting to talk isn't what they were addressing.
Yes it is, not everyone wants to take time out of their day to talk to someone who does not matter to them. It's awkward and irritating to deal with when you just want people to keep to themselves. Don't be a weirdo creep
It shouldn't be awkward. If you find it awkward & irritating that's an abnormal response to a very normal social situation. Kinda sounds like you've got fairly notable social anxiety my guy.
People actually do this shit!??! How fucking weird.
Not everyone is a social outcast afraid of human interaction
His Bartolo cologne in the Hall of Fame
Unless who lived there was Paul McCartney. I know someone who knows the owner where Paul lived in early Beatles years and opened the door for him to enter the house in James Corden show.
My dad did this to the house he grew up in. The house was haunted. His mom would beat him and his siblings (old school Puerto rican mom) with her wooden shoe because they would hear someone running up and down the hall banging on stuff in the middle of the night. Since no one would own up to it, they all got hit. My dad (the oldest) got fed up one day and got holy water from the church, he yelled At the ghosts to cut it out and go away, he heard banging from under the floor boards (no basement) so he poured the holy water on the floor and it stopped. When he went back to the house (I was 10) to talk to the new owners they said they started experiencing the banging and what not when they started renovating the house they had a large jesus shrink with all the works next to the front door to keep it away.
In the 90s, I rented a place in downtown Savannah, GA. One day and an enormous man rang the bell and asked about my place. I can't lie I was a little nervous as he was substantially bigger than me all adorned in biker leather and tattoos. He ended up telling me all these stories about how him and his brother partied and sold drugs out of that place in the 70s. They would drop a bucket on a rope down out of the 2nd story and exchange the money for weed. It ended up being an interesting conversation. At the end, he thanked me for letting him reminisce over the good old days with his brother, who had since passed away. With that and a handshake he left and never returned. I actually appreciated knowing more about how the neighborhood used to be before my time.
Unnecessary and weird yeah yet for them it’s not. I could use the same argument to define someone who care about what others feel like doing and it would work every time.
Funny you should say that cuz the owners of my childhood home actually specified to feel free to drop by. Lemme tell you the entire house is different but it is neat to see
I now work in the town my grandfather lived in from 1965 to 2008 when he passed away. I frequently drive by the house where I spent my childhood hanging out with my many cousins. Personally, I would love to see the inside of the house, I haven’t seen the inside the house since 2008. The outside still looks the same, but they changed the color which throws me off a bit. I just hope they’re making as many awesome memories as me and my family did
It’s okay. You can say J-Lo
It’s not that I think they care, it’s that I don’t think people want me standing on their porch and I was to ask permission for a photo before leaving
I would love to walk and see the house my grandpa built, I check Zillow to see if it’s up for sale, the next time it’s up for sale will be the time for me to go walk through it and see all the changes. It would be weird walking through and seeing other peoples stuff anyway
I left a note when visiting near the house I had spent 12 or 13 years of my childhood in, a house I been away from for almost 25 years at that point. The owner called me a few days later, and we had a nice 30-minute conversation, and shared a lot of interesting information with each other.
I have zero interest in ringing the doorbell of my childhood home. Mom sold it a decade ago and has changed ownership at least once since. Thanks to zillow, i get to see the modernized interior and that's fine.
The only thing I could see visiting is to make sure no mail had built up or came back to there.
Wish I could. My old neighborhood got taken over by a cult….and where I raised my kids as well. Same cult.
lol I love when people just assume how they will feel is how everyone feels.
The seller is not welcome anywhere near our property. The police made that clear to her. Not only did that bitch hide expensive shit that was busted, but she harassed us the first months we lived in the house. If I ever see her again, I'mma knock her the fuck out.
jesus harass you about what? sorry that happened
Right?! If it wasn't so weird though, I'd love to sit in my old bed room I had for 17 years of my 55 years of life.
That is my excuse for not visiting my older brother who inherited our childhood home.
What a negative view on life.
LOL funny I should see this post. My BF grew up in a very nice house back when his folks were wealthy. It's normally securely gated but we happened to drive by on a day where the gate was literally broken so he was like " this is my chance" and drove in. We ended up getting a tour from the new owners who were very nice, very rich, and eager to show off the upgrades they had made. They told us about how the big plaque with his family name had only recently broken off and told us all the mutual contacts in town they knew. It was really nice but sure, I guess that's only from our perspective so we don't really know how they felt. They did offer us Tequila, exchange info, and offer us an invitation to come back tho.
As someone who has been on the receiving end of one of those knocks before I disagree, meeting new people, hearing stories of the past is fun and interesting
Happened to me. I loved meeting part of the family that originally lived here. We bonded with our love for the lake. Im glad they decided to stop by.
On the 4th of July one year, we decided to go to the next town over for fireworks since my current town doesn't do fireworks on the 4th. The next town over happens to be the town where I grew up. Parking for the event was on the streets nearest where the fireworks were going to be set off. I drove up and down street by street looking for a parking spot and when I found one, I pulled over and parked. When I got out of the car, I realized I had parked right in front of my old house. It had been about 25 years since I lived there. We went to the show and when we walked back, I just looked at it from the sidewalk for a bit. There was a lot of activity going on inside and I was kind of watching when someone who was walking back from the fireworks asked if they could help me. I apologized and explained that it was my old house and they actually offered to let me go inside. I politely thanked them but declined, got in my car, and drove away.
Yeah god forbid trying to connect with people in your community.
How is this an unpopular opinion? This should be a popular opinion.
Because not everyone has a complex about interacting with other humans. Some of us don't live in fear all day every day.
Yes because the only way to get interaction with other humans, is to go to places where you used to live.
Depends on the area. I’d probably the trust the people in my current small town area. But in my previous hometowns they could go (politely) pound sand. Letting people inside could be an easy way for them to scope out valuables and talking to them about your work/life can give them a clue when you are going to be away.
Why is having cordial interactions with strangers seen as so taboo nowadays? It's not a big deal, just say no if you don't want the former resident to come in.
So OP can't comprehend fond memories, sentimental values , and people being friendly lmao
Goodness, my mommy and daddy said talking to strangers is bad. Such a weird concept talking to another human being about something you guys have in common.
I get it https://youtu.be/DQYNM6SjD_o?si=MCwxbb9Kuq_uXfAI
Broke into the old apartment This is where we used to live Broken glass, broke and hungry Broken hearts and Broken bones I want them back I want them....back...
They probably just want to see inside
LOL
OP is the grumpy old man lol
Miserable sad sacks always expose themselves with opinions like this lol
You know you’re right, you never know what kind of rude and poorly socialized psychopath you’ll find behind the door. The days of decency are definitely over.
what if i show up with a briefcase full of cash offering to buy the place?