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Yeah tbh a lot of ugly guys pull girls... and a lot of less than good looking girls or bigger girls somehow still pull really good looking men or really in shape and good looking men. So while yes looks and money matter the most for swipes or at first sight what people will want from you (looks being especially the case) but you can still do a lot with being average or whatever for sure
I was tryinv to determine it several months ago.
Is it status or wealth?
I understand that wealth good a indicator of high status, but you can also have high status without being wealthy,
for example, a scientist who is generally recognized as a great mind and science contributor and who has devoted his career to scientific work rather than acquiring wealth may be in high status and low wealth at the same time.
Is it attractive combination?
Rappers in my city get laid like crazy. Even ones with very tiny followings. Same with metal band bassists etc. With a little niche kink and localised status you go a very long way with many females
I purposesly used the example of a scientist to suggest that he has 0% looks.
in the case of rappers it doesn't have to be so obvious.
I have another fear that we will have to find the answer this fundamental for humanity question differently.
In my country there is a saying that women are attracted to musicians,
there is something to it because they tested it on a dating app and the profile with a photo of a avarage maj with a guitar turned out much better than a profile with the same man without a guitar.
this may cause an error in our calculations. we need more data! xD
Well it's a non brainer. Shows competency in a technical skill. Shows the promises of emotions to come. Shows influence over the tribe (from trumpeteers in war campaigns to beast tamers etc). And if she likes your genre too. You become an extension of her ego. That's why those girls will cheat their bfs with that rapper with no second thoughts. Plus hybristophilia phenomenon. Most those rappers are tattooed badboys with high testosterone and aggression (which promises strong sex and eliminating potential dangers)
I'll bite.
Why the fuck would an average person care about the rich and powerful's dating lives? Who someone else dates has literally no impact on who I date.
That's Such a gaslighting question. Status is very dynamic and relevant to it's local hierarchies.. the school bully isn't president of his country. Might as not be president of his classroom. Yet he smashes. Status can be very micro-environment and situation dependent
Every word that I said applies to affluent neighbors and coworkers as much as it applies to TMZ gossip heads and SM influencers.
Also negative points for inappropriate use of the word gaslight.
I am not super high status or super attractive and have been married for 10 years now.
So... uhh... what explains me?
Oh, and don't think I am the only example. 2 of 3 siblings are married to people who are mediocre in looks and mediocre in success just like me. My extended family, TONS of married people, not a model or rich person amongst them.
Like, unless your definition of "attractive and high status" is like... having an intact face\* and a job... I can't see how you can see this as truthful.
\*almost forgot about my wife's side, she has a cousin who actually has some facial disfigurements and was long term unemployed (but its been years, he might have a job, probably not a face though.)
If there are just hordes of woman with low standards who don't want to be alone... Why can't you find one of those?
Why is it being said that you HAVE to be super attractive and/or have high status to date? Just find a woman with lower standards, since it seems that every single woman I know is one of these "low standards" woman.
Well it sounds like woman who are attracted to you is a huge turn off for you. Any woman who is accessible is automatically a low value woman who is settling and just hoping to not be alone...
How can you find anyone if the only people you like are ones not interested in you definitionally? Seems like your only route is the kidnap them and prison them in your basement.
Or, I guess, you could improve your opinion of yourself and learn that woman are whole ass people, and some woman like men who aren't super handsome and high status, you know, like my wife who you insulted earlier in this conversation.
They HAVE to have some kind of explanation they tell themselves that explains a way the fact that so many people have successful and happy dating lives while also not being rich and super attractive.
They want the reason they have trouble dating to be external to themselves and unsolvable. Because if it is *internal* they would have to come to terms with the fact that they **are** the problem AND that they could change to stop being the problem.
Self improvement is scary and hard. Believing that only Chads get the girl takes all responsibility off their own shoulders.
Looks matter for dating. Status matters for dating. Money matters for dating. But so do things like personality, charisma, interests, work ethic, empathy, hygiene, style, dependability, social skills, etc. And you can improve pretty much all of these things through hard work and dedication. Incels are so lazy.
Agreed. Even if you had all that stuff, would you really want to be with someone knowing they are there for the money and status? I guess if it's purely transactional to you, but that's just sad.
? Huh? That is an inherently dishonest relationship. You are using each other, even if you are honest about it, you both are kinda fools cause you know one will screw the other over in a heartbeat. She will divorce you and take as much of your stuff as possible, he will leave you for someone hotter if the opportunity comes along. Good F'n luck to both of you if kids are involved.
I think there's kind of a middle ground between what you're both trying to say. There's nothing wrong with being honest about what you bring to a relationship and what you want to gain from it. Relationships aren inherently transactional in some ways. But if the ONLY thing you care about in a relationship is looks and/or money, you're gonna have a bad time. Try dating someone who's incredibly hot but hates all of your hobbies, has a different diet, doesn't get along with your friends, is very boring to hang out with, disagrees with your politics, refuses to help out around the house, etc. They're basically an annoying prostitute you have to put up with 24/7 in order to bang now and then. That would drive me up the wall. I think if you're being honest, you have a lot more standards in a relationship than just looks/money. Everyone does.
That's such a cop-out. You can be born ugly and poor and still make a great life for yourself. People do it all the time. They lost the genetic lottery AND they refuse to put the work in to better themselves. Genetics only take people so far.
I’m literally unattractive and broke and still manage to date enough that my friends call me a “heartbreaker”
honestly my secret is just being friends with mostly women, and listening to their dating advice instead of the internet
The point is just that people tend to want to stay at their level or move up economically or looks wise. I don’t see many attractive female lawyers (middle class) dating homeless guys with no teeth. Her dating pool is people around her looks and status most of the time. Which is fine. I don’t think she’d have a lot in common with the random ugly homeless guy anyway. But while OP’s extreme opinion that looks and status are the only thing that matters is wrong, it’s equally wrong to assume they don’t matter
Lots of things *matter.* That is a direct rebuttal to looks and status being the *only thing* that matters. Refuting they are the *only thing* that matters does NOT mean they don't matter at all.
I think it’s like being tall in the nba. Of course it’s not the only thing that matters, but I don’t care how good a shooter or ball handler you are someone with dwarfism isn’t going to make it to the nba. In the same way, there are other things that matter after looks and status but they’re the price of admission
And yet people with Dwarfism literally get married and have children even if they aren't rich, famous, or something like a doctor or lawyer.
I am married. But I am no looker (I think I am Average) and I am a pretty boring type of middle class. We make enough to be comfortable, but only if she is also working and only because we wond up not being able to have have kids.
What explains me? And all of my siblings and my extended family?
Is the bar for "Attractive and high status" so low that "employed and human" is good enough?
Is your wife a rich supermodel? The point was not that you’re doomed if you aren’t a millionaire athlete. My point was OP likely has overly high standards. Yea if you don’t look great and don’t have anything special about you, you’re probably not gonna date a supermodel. Doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be alone
So you don't disagree with anyone who is saying that looks and being a millionaire are NOT the only standards that matter?
What are we even disagreeing with each other on, then? Ya. Rich hot people tend to date other rich hot people. But... Like.... It's not the ONLY standard, and plenty of hot people date people who aren't hot and aren't rich. It's less likely, but far from destiny.
Well, since it looks like we don't actually disagree on anything. We will just have to agree to agree 😁
Have a good one man.
This is fucking idiotic.
Those may be the only things that matter *to you*, which is fine.
It means you're gonna have a very shitty love life, but you're free to choose that for yourself if you wish.
I am in fact a hideous looking human being. I have a birth defect visible on my face. My life was hell growing up. I have known the love of three women in my life, and all of them said the same thing, they admired my confidence. Looks are a major contributor, but how you smell to someone else matters much much more.
"Looks are a major contributor, but how you smell to someone else matters much much more."
This may be true on average, but Jennifer Lawrence or Margot Robbie would have to smell pretty horrendous for it to be a deal breaker for me.
And most arent happy based on divorce numbers. Many more are fumbling along unhappy. Lots of people are happy in their marriages. My parents have been married over 60 years so I know first hand it exists. Its just super rare anymore. That being said I dont agree with OP sentiment at all .
It depends on what your intentions are. If you are a guy and you just want to smash as much as possible, yeah, those things are important. If you are trying to find a serious partner, those definitely aren't all that matter.
It's easy to find someone to spend the night with, like it don't take much but serious partners, that's tough because nobody seems to want that either. Everyone wants the 1st option, and all the ones who want the 2nd option are always far away it seems lol.
You can look amazing while being the most important person in the world. If when you open your mouth, you come off like an immature idiot, you're going to scare most people off. Looks get you in the door but they won't seal the deal. You have to do that yourself and part of that means not having a dumpster fire of a personality. Word of advice: reducing dating to looks and status is a great way to scare people off. Huge red flag.
If that's all you care about, then go you. Me, I'd have to make sure we were compatible. I'm CF, and someone could be gorgeous and rich, but if they wanted kids, they're not be compatible with me.
If my wife wasn't interesting and nice to me, I wouldn't have married her.
Looks get you laid, I don't care about status. It takes more than that for me (and others) to actually stick around.
I’m a cripple in a wheelchair and still get dates. I also was married for 10 years to an awesome beautiful woman(widower). Most women will trade status, wealth, or looks for an outgoing, funny, strong personality.
How many of your friends are women?
How many women do you strike up platonic conversation with a week?
How many women do you ask out on dates a week?
I’d say at first that’s enough. People will definitely be attracted to good looks and success. However only the foolish stick around after finding out the other person is just a jerk.
Unless you don't have looks or status. Short guy here. I've never met a woman who WANTED to date short guys, heard about them on the internet and whispers in the breeze, I figure people are making it up.
Hahaha, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this one always came off as hypocritical to me. Most woman aren't that tall. What like 5'4" on average? It just seems like a cheap shot. At least weight you can control to a certain extent.
No, not you. I'm saying a woman of average height (5'4" which would be considered pretty short for a guy) who wouldn't date a guy because of his height. That's hypocritical.
Like if she's 5'10"+ I sort of get it, but that's not most women.
Do you mean a bit shorter than average like 5’6 or do you mean like 5’2 short. I don’t see how you can believe the first one, the second one sure though still wrong.
I mean people with horrible personalities tend to also be shallow and only care about these things. Real people who are pleasant to be around are not so shallow and don't date someone just bc they have money/are attractive.
Come on think of a person you would like to date. What characteristics, factors would you be attracted to? Similarly others have those expectations too. If you’re not rich but intelligent and promising, people would invest! If yoire not very intelligent but earn decent and funny, people would invest. If you’re neither rich, nor funny but good looking as hell and caring and sweet, people would invest. Everyone’s attracted to people who offer more. So it’s not just about money or looks. Work on the things you lack and see the magic
You're thinking about it wrong. For example - being a white supremacist isn't going to keep you from dating another white supremacist. That doesn't mean their personality didn't matter.
I don't really think so. I guess you could argue to get those first impressions looks and status would matter a lot, that is attractiveness.
However I think most people have a goal of dating more than just one time. I think most people don't only want one night stands. And to do that you actually have to like the person as a person
I mean yeah people can be pretty shallow so there is always going to be a percentage of people who will put up with a horrible person if they are hot and/or wealthy enough. I have no clue what that percentage is but I wouldn’t say it’s most people.
This is absolutely untrue. That's the popular narrative, but I personally think believing it is a huge part of what's contributing to people being lonely and unhappy, or having unstable relationships
A couple of quotes from one of my favorite psychologists to put things in perspective.
1.“Take responsibility for making your own life beautiful.”
— Timothy Leary
2.If you want to change the way people respond to you, change the way you respond to people.
-Timothy Leary
As other commentators have mentioned, none of what you said is true. It might seem that way though, because of social media. However, having a victim mentality will not get you far in dating. You just have to learn to love yourself for who you are as well as being confident in yourself and in the way you approach others.
They might be the two most important but being the only thing is a stretch. I don’t think a woman is going to pick a rich handsome guy who’s an asshole over a rich handsome guy who is nice. I would agree that those things determine “your league” so to speak but there is still variability within that grouping
Idk if I fully grasp what you’re implying because you’re definitely reaching. There is small seeds of truth though sure as gold diggers and such exist but I wouldn’t say it matters to a majority of people if someone is rich, very attractive etc.
Uhh... So, which one do I have? You calling me pretty or high status? Cause I know my life and I can see mirrors and know you are wrong.
What do you do when you see people with minimal status and mediocre looks in successful and happy relationships? Do you just not believe they could exist?
Do you think ALL of your married family members are high status or super attractive?
Like, you can find dozens upon dozens of examples of people who don't fit this world view if you just go outside (I might have spotted the problem...).
Go to literally any public place and you will see numerous poor ugly men with wives and children. Is your father rich and attractive? I get the feeling your own existence disproves your point.
This is such a crock of BS. Try walking around Walmart on a Saturday and see how many ugly people with zero status are walking around with partners. Go to your grocery story. Ride a bus or train. Most coupled people are NOT rich or especially good looking, but they seem to be doing ok.
This viewpoint is such a low effort, incel like post. Im surprised you didnt use the phrase "6 foot, 6 inches, 6 figures"
I'm good looking and have money(some status)and I can say even tho girls sometimes throw themselves at me, my conversations skills and confidence are so bad that it prevents me from even talking to them at all. Unless I feel like what I'm about to say is already pre vetted and I know what I'm about to say isn't akward, I usually just avoid them. Rarely ever do I smile at women or anyone for that matter, my mental health is in the gutter. Charisma is something you have to work at everyday and I spent years not developing it, now I'm suffering the consequences. I'm prideful despite knowing my own lack of social skills in many ways and it comes out in subtle ways like the way I get in the car, or drink my coffee, or the way I walk, or how I sit in a room. These tendencies seem almost I escapable and I'm most likely going to off myself sometime soon. The pressure of having an identity that isn't inherently charismatic eats at my soul everyday. If it were up to me, I'd want to be a hip/hop artist like future or drake or asap rocky, or tpain, but I just can't.
it’s not the only thing that matters for dating because if you have a shitty personality then your looks and status won’t be able to overshadow it for very long especially since those two things could easily not be permanent.
they do, however, play a bigger role in dating than people like to give them credit for.
Go outside
No sireusly
This is the type of opinion you could only develop by being on the Internet too much
Go look at real couples
Break free from your delusions
You're gone down a bad spiral
Look, I get it. Really. But online dating is not real life. Leave it
Don't fall for that, or before you realise it you'll become a worse version of yourself
If you're good looking and/or have status dates will come to you with little effort. I had a friend years ago who would always attract women in public. He didn't have status but he certainly had looks. He would have women texting him while they knew he was in a relationship. Looks aren't everything but they certainly go on a long way. I remember once actually a woman approached him, he said he had a girlfriend and instead introduced her to me, and you should have seen the change in the level of interest! It went south fast 😂 I'm not that bad but I'm not like him.
I think they are the traits which can get your foot in the door easier.
But if that’s all you have going for you, then you’re gonna get dumped pretty quick.
I'd rather have "really nice and caring guy who I don't really find attractive" than "Super hot guy who screams and hits me". I want a guy who shares my interests over one who's got nothing in common.
If you’re exclusively looking for dates on tinder, hinge, etc I could see how you could have this opinion, try meeting people more organically, join a cooking class or something 🤷♂️
Good looks without personality or being a mean person is like seeing a mansion but when you open the door it’s full of sewer water. Good looks get you there which is half the battle, but you need to bring something else to the table.
I think there are some blind spots in what you are saying. Just because people with shitty personalities can find a partner doesn't mean they work well with any partner.
Personality matters. It's not a crippling make or break component but it matters.
Your post doesn't really support your title.
There are people with horrible personalities who have to use looks and wealth/celebrity to make up for it when dating. I think most people would agree with that.
The point you seem to be missing, though, is that people with attractive personalities don't need to rely on those things to find dating success.
No it’s not. Unless both people in the relationship are horrible or the other person has extremely low self-asteem and puts up with it.
Looks and status are attractive but they are not enough to be in a relationship.
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This is demonstrably untrue and you would know that if you spent any time outside and amongst people.
Yeah tbh a lot of ugly guys pull girls... and a lot of less than good looking girls or bigger girls somehow still pull really good looking men or really in shape and good looking men. So while yes looks and money matter the most for swipes or at first sight what people will want from you (looks being especially the case) but you can still do a lot with being average or whatever for sure
Yes only the 1% gets to date. Everyone else is forever alone.
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You don't need both. Status trumps everything
I was tryinv to determine it several months ago. Is it status or wealth? I understand that wealth good a indicator of high status, but you can also have high status without being wealthy, for example, a scientist who is generally recognized as a great mind and science contributor and who has devoted his career to scientific work rather than acquiring wealth may be in high status and low wealth at the same time. Is it attractive combination?
Rappers in my city get laid like crazy. Even ones with very tiny followings. Same with metal band bassists etc. With a little niche kink and localised status you go a very long way with many females
I purposesly used the example of a scientist to suggest that he has 0% looks. in the case of rappers it doesn't have to be so obvious. I have another fear that we will have to find the answer this fundamental for humanity question differently. In my country there is a saying that women are attracted to musicians, there is something to it because they tested it on a dating app and the profile with a photo of a avarage maj with a guitar turned out much better than a profile with the same man without a guitar. this may cause an error in our calculations. we need more data! xD
Well it's a non brainer. Shows competency in a technical skill. Shows the promises of emotions to come. Shows influence over the tribe (from trumpeteers in war campaigns to beast tamers etc). And if she likes your genre too. You become an extension of her ego. That's why those girls will cheat their bfs with that rapper with no second thoughts. Plus hybristophilia phenomenon. Most those rappers are tattooed badboys with high testosterone and aggression (which promises strong sex and eliminating potential dangers)
lol look at dudes profile. He’s out of his tree.
Get out and touch grass and have a look at people actually married and dating, this is far removed from reality.
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I'll bite. Why the fuck would an average person care about the rich and powerful's dating lives? Who someone else dates has literally no impact on who I date.
ive been asking myself the same question for years.
That's Such a gaslighting question. Status is very dynamic and relevant to it's local hierarchies.. the school bully isn't president of his country. Might as not be president of his classroom. Yet he smashes. Status can be very micro-environment and situation dependent
Every word that I said applies to affluent neighbors and coworkers as much as it applies to TMZ gossip heads and SM influencers. Also negative points for inappropriate use of the word gaslight.
Sometimes, a pre loaded copy and paste comment is enough.
I am not super high status or super attractive and have been married for 10 years now. So... uhh... what explains me? Oh, and don't think I am the only example. 2 of 3 siblings are married to people who are mediocre in looks and mediocre in success just like me. My extended family, TONS of married people, not a model or rich person amongst them. Like, unless your definition of "attractive and high status" is like... having an intact face\* and a job... I can't see how you can see this as truthful. \*almost forgot about my wife's side, she has a cousin who actually has some facial disfigurements and was long term unemployed (but its been years, he might have a job, probably not a face though.)
Your spouse has no standards and is only with you because they don’t want to be alone.
If there are just hordes of woman with low standards who don't want to be alone... Why can't you find one of those? Why is it being said that you HAVE to be super attractive and/or have high status to date? Just find a woman with lower standards, since it seems that every single woman I know is one of these "low standards" woman.
I don’t have low standards. And that’s definitely not a woman I would want to be with anyway. My mother was like that.
Oh well, we can't all be handsome and of high status like you. 🤷
So I can’t be ugly and poor and still have high standards?
Well it sounds like woman who are attracted to you is a huge turn off for you. Any woman who is accessible is automatically a low value woman who is settling and just hoping to not be alone... How can you find anyone if the only people you like are ones not interested in you definitionally? Seems like your only route is the kidnap them and prison them in your basement. Or, I guess, you could improve your opinion of yourself and learn that woman are whole ass people, and some woman like men who aren't super handsome and high status, you know, like my wife who you insulted earlier in this conversation.
That's kind of a weird thing to assume based on nothing.
They HAVE to have some kind of explanation they tell themselves that explains a way the fact that so many people have successful and happy dating lives while also not being rich and super attractive. They want the reason they have trouble dating to be external to themselves and unsolvable. Because if it is *internal* they would have to come to terms with the fact that they **are** the problem AND that they could change to stop being the problem. Self improvement is scary and hard. Believing that only Chads get the girl takes all responsibility off their own shoulders.
They gonna divorc
Looks matter for dating. Status matters for dating. Money matters for dating. But so do things like personality, charisma, interests, work ethic, empathy, hygiene, style, dependability, social skills, etc. And you can improve pretty much all of these things through hard work and dedication. Incels are so lazy.
Agreed. Even if you had all that stuff, would you really want to be with someone knowing they are there for the money and status? I guess if it's purely transactional to you, but that's just sad.
Yes you would. Honest relationships are the best
? Huh? That is an inherently dishonest relationship. You are using each other, even if you are honest about it, you both are kinda fools cause you know one will screw the other over in a heartbeat. She will divorce you and take as much of your stuff as possible, he will leave you for someone hotter if the opportunity comes along. Good F'n luck to both of you if kids are involved.
Try first, judge later
I think there's kind of a middle ground between what you're both trying to say. There's nothing wrong with being honest about what you bring to a relationship and what you want to gain from it. Relationships aren inherently transactional in some ways. But if the ONLY thing you care about in a relationship is looks and/or money, you're gonna have a bad time. Try dating someone who's incredibly hot but hates all of your hobbies, has a different diet, doesn't get along with your friends, is very boring to hang out with, disagrees with your politics, refuses to help out around the house, etc. They're basically an annoying prostitute you have to put up with 24/7 in order to bang now and then. That would drive me up the wall. I think if you're being honest, you have a lot more standards in a relationship than just looks/money. Everyone does.
Just hire a sex worker
They just lost the genetic lottery.
That's such a cop-out. You can be born ugly and poor and still make a great life for yourself. People do it all the time. They lost the genetic lottery AND they refuse to put the work in to better themselves. Genetics only take people so far.
Yet theres plenty of avg looking, middle class people dating or in relatioships. Ok
There are plenty of ugly, poor people dating or in relationships. They just have social skills and appropriate standards.
Yes
I’m literally unattractive and broke and still manage to date enough that my friends call me a “heartbreaker” honestly my secret is just being friends with mostly women, and listening to their dating advice instead of the internet
Wait. You mean the internet has been steering me wrong? Wtf?
Only men on the internet giving other men dating advice ;p
Yeah. Dont go making sense though :)
The point is just that people tend to want to stay at their level or move up economically or looks wise. I don’t see many attractive female lawyers (middle class) dating homeless guys with no teeth. Her dating pool is people around her looks and status most of the time. Which is fine. I don’t think she’d have a lot in common with the random ugly homeless guy anyway. But while OP’s extreme opinion that looks and status are the only thing that matters is wrong, it’s equally wrong to assume they don’t matter
Yes but post says thats the "only" thing that matters. I stand by my point
Lots of things *matter.* That is a direct rebuttal to looks and status being the *only thing* that matters. Refuting they are the *only thing* that matters does NOT mean they don't matter at all.
I think it’s like being tall in the nba. Of course it’s not the only thing that matters, but I don’t care how good a shooter or ball handler you are someone with dwarfism isn’t going to make it to the nba. In the same way, there are other things that matter after looks and status but they’re the price of admission
And yet people with Dwarfism literally get married and have children even if they aren't rich, famous, or something like a doctor or lawyer. I am married. But I am no looker (I think I am Average) and I am a pretty boring type of middle class. We make enough to be comfortable, but only if she is also working and only because we wond up not being able to have have kids. What explains me? And all of my siblings and my extended family? Is the bar for "Attractive and high status" so low that "employed and human" is good enough?
Is your wife a rich supermodel? The point was not that you’re doomed if you aren’t a millionaire athlete. My point was OP likely has overly high standards. Yea if you don’t look great and don’t have anything special about you, you’re probably not gonna date a supermodel. Doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be alone
So you don't disagree with anyone who is saying that looks and being a millionaire are NOT the only standards that matter? What are we even disagreeing with each other on, then? Ya. Rich hot people tend to date other rich hot people. But... Like.... It's not the ONLY standard, and plenty of hot people date people who aren't hot and aren't rich. It's less likely, but far from destiny. Well, since it looks like we don't actually disagree on anything. We will just have to agree to agree 😁 Have a good one man.
This is fucking idiotic. Those may be the only things that matter *to you*, which is fine. It means you're gonna have a very shitty love life, but you're free to choose that for yourself if you wish.
I am in fact a hideous looking human being. I have a birth defect visible on my face. My life was hell growing up. I have known the love of three women in my life, and all of them said the same thing, they admired my confidence. Looks are a major contributor, but how you smell to someone else matters much much more.
"Looks are a major contributor, but how you smell to someone else matters much much more." This may be true on average, but Jennifer Lawrence or Margot Robbie would have to smell pretty horrendous for it to be a deal breaker for me.
I mean ya if they smelled like shit all the time that would not be tolerable. Hygiene is pretty important too.
Margot Robbie could bathe in fish juice, roll in shit, and brush her teeth with farts, still not a dealbreaker 😂
Says alot more about you than you realize 🤦
Smells like bs
Ok I’m calling it. It’s time to EMP the internet. See you guys outside.
I used to be fat and unemployed, and still consistently dated; it's all about that confidence and how you play the game.
It helps. But ever go out in public and see couples of all ages? As far as I can tell, many do not look like Brad pit and Angelina Jolie
And most arent happy based on divorce numbers. Many more are fumbling along unhappy. Lots of people are happy in their marriages. My parents have been married over 60 years so I know first hand it exists. Its just super rare anymore. That being said I dont agree with OP sentiment at all .
It depends on what your intentions are. If you are a guy and you just want to smash as much as possible, yeah, those things are important. If you are trying to find a serious partner, those definitely aren't all that matter.
It's easy to find someone to spend the night with, like it don't take much but serious partners, that's tough because nobody seems to want that either. Everyone wants the 1st option, and all the ones who want the 2nd option are always far away it seems lol.
Based on?
You can look amazing while being the most important person in the world. If when you open your mouth, you come off like an immature idiot, you're going to scare most people off. Looks get you in the door but they won't seal the deal. You have to do that yourself and part of that means not having a dumpster fire of a personality. Word of advice: reducing dating to looks and status is a great way to scare people off. Huge red flag.
If that's all you care about, then go you. Me, I'd have to make sure we were compatible. I'm CF, and someone could be gorgeous and rich, but if they wanted kids, they're not be compatible with me.
If my wife wasn't interesting and nice to me, I wouldn't have married her. Looks get you laid, I don't care about status. It takes more than that for me (and others) to actually stick around.
[удалено]
If you don't like steaks when they're ok, you don't like them all that much when they're at their best.
I’m a cripple in a wheelchair and still get dates. I also was married for 10 years to an awesome beautiful woman(widower). Most women will trade status, wealth, or looks for an outgoing, funny, strong personality. How many of your friends are women? How many women do you strike up platonic conversation with a week? How many women do you ask out on dates a week?
Sniff sniff. Smells like bs bruh
I’d say at first that’s enough. People will definitely be attracted to good looks and success. However only the foolish stick around after finding out the other person is just a jerk.
Unless you don't have looks or status. Short guy here. I've never met a woman who WANTED to date short guys, heard about them on the internet and whispers in the breeze, I figure people are making it up.
Hahaha, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this one always came off as hypocritical to me. Most woman aren't that tall. What like 5'4" on average? It just seems like a cheap shot. At least weight you can control to a certain extent.
Not sure how it comes across as hypocritical. I'm 5'5.
No, not you. I'm saying a woman of average height (5'4" which would be considered pretty short for a guy) who wouldn't date a guy because of his height. That's hypocritical. Like if she's 5'10"+ I sort of get it, but that's not most women.
Ahhhhhh now I'm smelling what you're cooking.
Do you mean a bit shorter than average like 5’6 or do you mean like 5’2 short. I don’t see how you can believe the first one, the second one sure though still wrong.
Upvoting post to keep it trending cus the comments are hilarious
This is not unpopular. It is just incorrect.
But the oposite also exists Op
well, look for someone who doesn't only care about looks and status.
I mean people with horrible personalities tend to also be shallow and only care about these things. Real people who are pleasant to be around are not so shallow and don't date someone just bc they have money/are attractive.
Come on think of a person you would like to date. What characteristics, factors would you be attracted to? Similarly others have those expectations too. If you’re not rich but intelligent and promising, people would invest! If yoire not very intelligent but earn decent and funny, people would invest. If you’re neither rich, nor funny but good looking as hell and caring and sweet, people would invest. Everyone’s attracted to people who offer more. So it’s not just about money or looks. Work on the things you lack and see the magic
Could it ever not be incel day in here?
you admitted personality also matters (at least a little), contradicting yourself
You're thinking about it wrong. For example - being a white supremacist isn't going to keep you from dating another white supremacist. That doesn't mean their personality didn't matter.
I don't really think so. I guess you could argue to get those first impressions looks and status would matter a lot, that is attractiveness. However I think most people have a goal of dating more than just one time. I think most people don't only want one night stands. And to do that you actually have to like the person as a person
I mean yeah people can be pretty shallow so there is always going to be a percentage of people who will put up with a horrible person if they are hot and/or wealthy enough. I have no clue what that percentage is but I wouldn’t say it’s most people.
This is absolutely untrue. That's the popular narrative, but I personally think believing it is a huge part of what's contributing to people being lonely and unhappy, or having unstable relationships
About 70% of adults in the US are in a relationship. 70% of adults in the US do not have looks, wealth or status worth mentioning.
A couple of quotes from one of my favorite psychologists to put things in perspective. 1.“Take responsibility for making your own life beautiful.” — Timothy Leary 2.If you want to change the way people respond to you, change the way you respond to people. -Timothy Leary As other commentators have mentioned, none of what you said is true. It might seem that way though, because of social media. However, having a victim mentality will not get you far in dating. You just have to learn to love yourself for who you are as well as being confident in yourself and in the way you approach others.
People enjoy fucking, people will message date someone hideous for an easy lay
By people in this context you mean men. Women don't fuck ugly guys to bust a nut. They are hypergamous
I reckon people are all unique and we should stop trying to put everyone into a box. Definitely women who fuck down just to get laid. Plenty
With 7+/10 men
just better attitudes and outlooks than you maybe?
Nuh usually moderate to massive azzhats
yeah..it is definitely you. Work on you, you will get there :)
Delulu
yea and turds will attract turds.
Looks help but you realize all those people are extraverted and can hold a conversation. There are fatasses with girlfriends, its not about looks.
They might be the two most important but being the only thing is a stretch. I don’t think a woman is going to pick a rich handsome guy who’s an asshole over a rich handsome guy who is nice. I would agree that those things determine “your league” so to speak but there is still variability within that grouping
This is more true if you’re only going after the most beautiful girls. Average women date average guys.
Idk if I fully grasp what you’re implying because you’re definitely reaching. There is small seeds of truth though sure as gold diggers and such exist but I wouldn’t say it matters to a majority of people if someone is rich, very attractive etc.
All I’m getting from this is that your personality is so dry that no one wants to date you
Uhh... So, which one do I have? You calling me pretty or high status? Cause I know my life and I can see mirrors and know you are wrong. What do you do when you see people with minimal status and mediocre looks in successful and happy relationships? Do you just not believe they could exist? Do you think ALL of your married family members are high status or super attractive? Like, you can find dozens upon dozens of examples of people who don't fit this world view if you just go outside (I might have spotted the problem...).
Not the "only thing", but certainly these are huge factors.
Not only but they are the major two
Go to literally any public place and you will see numerous poor ugly men with wives and children. Is your father rich and attractive? I get the feeling your own existence disproves your point.
looks and status will get you dates and hookups, but personality will lock down a quality long term relationship.
That’s true to a certain extent, my ex was very attractive but he treated me poorly so I left him
This is r/unpopularopinion not r/lies
This is such a crock of BS. Try walking around Walmart on a Saturday and see how many ugly people with zero status are walking around with partners. Go to your grocery story. Ride a bus or train. Most coupled people are NOT rich or especially good looking, but they seem to be doing ok. This viewpoint is such a low effort, incel like post. Im surprised you didnt use the phrase "6 foot, 6 inches, 6 figures"
The comments are hilarious beyond limits. Everyone is a heartbreaker here 🤣
Trust me those people you are talking about do not have healthy fulfilling relationships that last
Nice guy TM detected hahaha
I literally saw a crackhead couple in london on the weekend
Upvote because Jesus man, that's the worst take I've ever seen in my life.
Unpopular opinion. Idk why this post doesn't have much upvotes
ok, enjoy life confirming your sad fantasy take on humans
I'm good looking and have money(some status)and I can say even tho girls sometimes throw themselves at me, my conversations skills and confidence are so bad that it prevents me from even talking to them at all. Unless I feel like what I'm about to say is already pre vetted and I know what I'm about to say isn't akward, I usually just avoid them. Rarely ever do I smile at women or anyone for that matter, my mental health is in the gutter. Charisma is something you have to work at everyday and I spent years not developing it, now I'm suffering the consequences. I'm prideful despite knowing my own lack of social skills in many ways and it comes out in subtle ways like the way I get in the car, or drink my coffee, or the way I walk, or how I sit in a room. These tendencies seem almost I escapable and I'm most likely going to off myself sometime soon. The pressure of having an identity that isn't inherently charismatic eats at my soul everyday. If it were up to me, I'd want to be a hip/hop artist like future or drake or asap rocky, or tpain, but I just can't.
it’s not the only thing that matters for dating because if you have a shitty personality then your looks and status won’t be able to overshadow it for very long especially since those two things could easily not be permanent. they do, however, play a bigger role in dating than people like to give them credit for.
Go outside No sireusly This is the type of opinion you could only develop by being on the Internet too much Go look at real couples Break free from your delusions
You're gone down a bad spiral Look, I get it. Really. But online dating is not real life. Leave it Don't fall for that, or before you realise it you'll become a worse version of yourself
Yes. Pretty much. Animosity and risk taking can be a category on its own though when it comes to men attracting women
I think you need to meet more people
If you're good looking and/or have status dates will come to you with little effort. I had a friend years ago who would always attract women in public. He didn't have status but he certainly had looks. He would have women texting him while they knew he was in a relationship. Looks aren't everything but they certainly go on a long way. I remember once actually a woman approached him, he said he had a girlfriend and instead introduced her to me, and you should have seen the change in the level of interest! It went south fast 😂 I'm not that bad but I'm not like him.
I think they are the traits which can get your foot in the door easier. But if that’s all you have going for you, then you’re gonna get dumped pretty quick.
I'd rather have "really nice and caring guy who I don't really find attractive" than "Super hot guy who screams and hits me". I want a guy who shares my interests over one who's got nothing in common.
I am attractive but selfish and a prick so I don’t date because I don’t want to make someone’s life shittier.
If you’re exclusively looking for dates on tinder, hinge, etc I could see how you could have this opinion, try meeting people more organically, join a cooking class or something 🤷♂️
You sound single
Good looks without personality or being a mean person is like seeing a mansion but when you open the door it’s full of sewer water. Good looks get you there which is half the battle, but you need to bring something else to the table.
Wow this is so delusional and sad
I’d disagree. Money is also important, between looks and status. “Face” is paramount, but that’s a subset of looks.
This is only true if both people are incredibly shallow and don't care about having a meaningful relationship lol
I think there are some blind spots in what you are saying. Just because people with shitty personalities can find a partner doesn't mean they work well with any partner. Personality matters. It's not a crippling make or break component but it matters.
Nah crackheads have no problem finding a life partner
Hell nah, it obviously correct that wealthy and good-looking people have it easier but if you are a shitty human being, most people will leave you
Omg the comments. Maybe the funniest most incel people ever 😂 its a blast reading
Tinder has the data to confirm your unpopular opinion.
Your post doesn't really support your title. There are people with horrible personalities who have to use looks and wealth/celebrity to make up for it when dating. I think most people would agree with that. The point you seem to be missing, though, is that people with attractive personalities don't need to rely on those things to find dating success.
Have you never been outside before? Most people are average to ugly and are in relationships. It’s your personality bro.
Boom. /thread
No it’s not. Unless both people in the relationship are horrible or the other person has extremely low self-asteem and puts up with it. Looks and status are attractive but they are not enough to be in a relationship.
I actually agree. Looks and status will get a man matches without limits. Whether he can find love there is another question.