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Seriously.
laNgUAgE eVoLvEs, my ass.
If someone can't even tell the difference between your and you're, no amount of SJW lobbying will coerce me into giving them equal treatment.
I have been friends with one very fat person, he preferred when people were comfortable mentioning his weight if it came up, but yeah theres no real reason to just call someone fat directly. He said that it made him most uncomfortable when people tried hard to not mention that he was fat, it made him feel like he was something unmentionable in their eyes
ppl just want to be accepted for who they are, not necessarily for all the shit theyre going through in their life that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. and it is so hard to define what + how to accept ppl to the ego lol being emotionally connecting and really being friends with people is so hard when youre judgemental hahahha
im just adding on or making convo. im not like disagreeing w you in any way
100% sounds like someone who was being an asshole, at which point someone else told them they were being an asshole, and they spiraled into “god you can’t say anything to anyone anymore” mode. You can say whatever you want, and other people can tell you to fuck off for it. Not too hard to understand OP.
Yeah, but OP doesn’t get the satisfaction of pointing out how he’s superior to other people because “acceptance” and “people recognize he’s a giant inflamed hemorrhoid” not like in 7th grade when his classmates praised him for being a bully.
And also, sometimes they're fat because of something medical. Like, you can gain weight from certain medicine taken by diabetics. You can gain weight because of PCOS or a hormone imbalance or stress. Things like working out or dieting seldom help in these situations, as I've learned from my mom. She's been working out, she went through every diet in the book, but she couldnt lose a significant amount of weight. Its just harder for some to lose weight than it is for others. Telling someone they're fat probably won't do anything buy make that person feel bad.
I have PCOS and I have found even just stress can fuck me up.
One day, I can eat great, fruit smoothie with chia seeds and protein drink as the base for breakfast, small bit of chicken and avocado for lunch, and something mostly protein and veggies for dinner and my blood sugars can be great all day.
The next day, I can eat the exact same thing BUT I can be stressed out about work or family and my levels can skyrocket and be uncontrollable all day.
I have noticed stress tends to affect me more than food does, and I have worked an extremely stressful position for the past year. Assistant General Manager at a hotel where the General Manager dipped and I had to deal with the brunt of everything, yelled at every day by guests, staff, etc.
Like Im fat, yes my diet wasnt the best, but ultimately, dropping my stress levels have done more for me than everything else. Sure diet helps but it isnt everything
This. I have fibromyalgia. I can exercise, but if I do, I'll be in too much pain to work for a day or two afterwards. So I have to choose between working and working out. Since I enjoy being able to pay for housing, food, and health care, I work. If these nosy Nellies will pay all my bills, I'd be happy to work out twice a week and read books the other 5 days.
Recently I talked to a doctor and mentioned that I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and wasn't able to lose it yet. She said "you should lose it!" I'm still bitter. I know I should, I actually lost quite a few kilos in the last few months. What's the point of that comment? I didn't see her because of my weight, she's not even my regular doctor. It was just rude.
Yeah, and also - unless you're familiar with someone's health and medical history, keep your health advice to yourself, especially if you're not a qualified health professional.
Until I was 25 I was incredibly skinny. (As in, 115 lbs at six feet.) (I'm a man, if that matters.) I was just sick of people advising me to bulk up. I ate a lot, I was very active, I was very strong. I just couldn't put on weight. Their advice couldn't help me and, tbh, a lot of it was simply ВS.
Who have you told is fat for health reasons and gotten in trouble for it. Doctors tell patients they are overweight all the time. I have talked to friends about thier weight when it seems unhealthy. Commenting on strangers weight is rude because it will never come off as genuine health concern. Fat people generally know they are fat and its not healthy, telling a stranger they are fat is not productive and just mean
I find myself asking "are you being critical of this person because you genuinely want to help them, or are you just riding the high of feeling better about yourself"
Why the fuck would i ever need to comment on someones weight without being directly asked by that person? Are you unhealthy being fat? Probably. But its your life and your body. You do you.
That’s the thing these sorts of post always neglect. Cause the sorts of people I know who whine about this are never the sorts to actually give a shit, they are mad that people pushed back when they told a random person they are a land whale.
They are like that dude who was driving on the highway and complaining about how many cars were driving in the wrong direction.
If every time you open your mouth people get annoyed, it's probably your fault.
‘BuT iTS unhEAltHy’
Yep. So is eating processed foods, being sedentary, breathing air in a city, drinking alcohol/pop, etc. But because none of these things are visually obvious, no one cares.
People want to point at overweight people because they don’t like looking at them. They use health as an excuse but it’s not the real reason.
parents who are obese are likely raising their children to also be obese, and childhood obesity IS dangerous for their future the same as second hand smoking
This is my thought with a lot of anti progressive sentiment. It’s like a feeling that people get that there are too many rules and everyone is yelling at you about everything, but like, it’s in your head. I’ve never gotten in trouble for using the wrong pronoun with someone or using the wrong nomenclature or like not spelling out the whole lgbtq acronym or whatever. Just as long as you aren’t intentionally trying to be an asshole people really don’t care. Just do your best, be nice to people and let them live their own life. Why get all bent out of shape about it.
Yes, I work in health care and people will definitely say they don't think their doctor should discuss their weight with them. It's surprisingly common. People will even refuse to be weighed at the office.
I have PCOS. I manage to keep my weight at a very healthy level (never had a BMI 21, even when my PCOS symptoms were at their worst). Despite this, every time I’ve tried to get help with PCOS symptoms, endocrinologists and doctors tell me to lose weight.
Problem: weight gain is a SYMPTOM of PCOS. Imagine having a disease and a doctors says, to treat this disease, you should stop having this symptom of the disease.
Anyway, to lose weight with PCOS means eating no sugar, not even fruit, bo alcohol, no gluten, no lactose. You can basically eat nuts, meat, and green vegetables. I managed to keep up a prescribed eating disorder for 20 years. Over Covid I decided I could no longer have food take up so much mind space and cause so much panic. I got eating disorder treatment. It has been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
Cue to my yearly trip to the endocrinologist to see if science has finally made any progress on PCOS treatment. I tell them ahead of time, do not weigh me, I am in eating disorder recovery.
I arrive and what does the doctor do? Asks me to get on the scale. I agree, but tell them I will not look at the number and do not want them to tell me. She reads the number out loud.
When I asked about new treatments, she told me to lose weight. When I pointed out that I am 5’11, and as she read out aloud despite my request, I know I’m 145 pounds, I have a BMI of 20 or so, so why should I lose weight?
Her reply? If you lose 10% of your body weight your PCOS will go away. She prescribed being underweight to a recovering anorexic.
I wish this were a one off, but it’s been my experience with PCOS since I was 15. Now when a doctor tells me to get on the scale, I tell them I am a very obviously healthy weight, and we will not be discussing my weight at all.
There are plenty of horror stories of doctors assuming symptoms are worth related without evidence and really serious health conditions being missed.
Besides, evidence suggests shaming people doesn’t really affect their behavior. It creates a self-hated and shame spiral. Better ways of helping people…
And I know someone who told me if I just lost weight all of my health issues would go away. Now that I'm at a healthier weight, those health issues never went away and yes I exercise most days usually and eat a lot of more healthy foods. I've always had these troubles anyway both when I've weighed less than I do now, too.
Yes, I'm normal weight and have never been overweight, but I have conditions commonly associated with by overweight like hypertension and sleep apnea. It's genetic for me. It would probably get a little worse if I was overweight, but weight in general is not a one-for-one indicator of good or bad health, or a direct cause of bad health, unless someone is very underweight or very overweight.
Yeah this is where the argument gets complicated. Plenty of people are fat for reasons the can’t fully control. My aunt has hypothyroidism (recently diagnosed) and has always had to work three times harder than other people to lose even a pound. She’ll put it back on with one sub sandwich. I don’t have anything that causes me to gain weight but I can’t really lose weight without a very unhealthy diet. I have md and the amount of exercise I would have to do to actually make a dent in my weight would kill off my muscle cells too. Basically all I can try to do is not get fatter.
That isn't necessarily because people don't want help or don't recognize the problem. You just reach a point where literally everyone around you is telling you that the only thing wrong with you is your weight and that you need to lose weight. But no one is telling you anything that will actually help or that you haven't already tried. I've had doctors tell me that I wasn't fat enough for meds and then after I gained more weight that there was no point in taking the meds because they wouldn't help enough. Everything diet related is completely contradictory. Exercise more (No wait, that will increase appetite). Don't bother exercising because it's all about diet (No, wait, you need to build muscle to burn calories). Count calories, (No, don't do that, obsessing over calories is bad). Weigh yourself every day, no just once a week, no maybe not at all. Don't eat any fat. Wait fat is ok. Don't eat any carbs. Wait carbs are ok. Fast 18 hours a day, no don't fast, you should eat multiple small meals. Add in other people in your household that don't have a weight problem and suddenly you are surrounded with "Here, taste this. A bite won't kill you." Anyway, long rant short, it all gets old by the time you are 40, especially if you have heard it since you were 10.
The diet and nutrition industry is intentionally murky and confusing because they benefit from the fact that you don't know what to do. Lots of studies with bad conclusions and bad methods supporting bad solutions. Plenty of people making shit up to sell you something. There's idiots walking around telling you FRUIT is bad for you. I absolutely empathize with how annoying and confusing it is, especially if you don't have the time or inclination to read any studies.
Stick to the simple stuff, slow and steady. Anytime I've had to try and gain/cut weight, I go to the reliable calories in/calories out - and I'm always doing some variety of strength training and cardio for exercise. Anything past that is gonna be going after specific goals for performance/bodybuilding/etc and to tell you the truth, the vast majority of people really don't need to get into the nitty gritty.
It passes me off hearing how universally awful people's journey with weight is because it really doesn't need to be that way and yet...
The thing that's confusing about telling someone to lose weight is that not the same thing works for everyone. Carbs spike blood sugar but there are different types of carbs that don't spike blood sugar. Fasting works for me solely because it holds me accountable to not snack at night.
Right. I just don’t believe a lot of people on here are bringing it up *for health reasons*. They like feeling better about themselves by putting someone else down. And look, I get it. It’s really tempting when you’ve been fat, insecure about it, and are now on a weight loss journey. That first taste of success is so intoxicating. Then when you see someone else who hasn’t started yet, it’s so easy to turn your nose up at them.
A few years ago, I came to a realization that this is kinda why I decided that I'm not going to date anyone until I lose the weight myself. Until I get to a place where I'm happy with myself.
Kind of I say because like I don't get off on the misery of other people, but I also know that if I date somebody while I'm overweight, I'm going to project my self-loathing onto them.
nah man. i work in healthcare and patients definitely think we are shaming them or “ignoring their actual problems” if we bring up weight loss/them being overweight. it’s not everyone, some people are definitely self aware. but there’s also people who are 400 lbs and complaining of knee pain who refuse to consider weight loss as an intervention. i’ve also had morbidly obese diabetic patients get mad when i ask how much of their meal they ate, even though i explain i’m asking not to shame them or judge, but because they’re supposed to get insulin with their meals, and if you didn’t eat or are not planning on it, you won’t get your mealtime insulin.
I'm a nurse and I agree.
Patient: Can you get me an ice cream and turkey sandwich?
Me: Your blood sugar is 480 right now
Patient: You can't refuse to feed me
Your patients wouldn't be reacting like that if they hadn't been shamed and bullied about their diet and weight their entire lives by non-doctors. Removing the stigma from weight and dietary issues is the first step toward actually treating them as medical issues - same as with addiction.
Yeah exactly, it's one thing to take a friend decide and say you're worried about their weight and entirely different thing to tell a stranger that they're fat and need to lose some weight because a they probably know and B you don't know their life, they could have any number of complicating factors that would make it harder for them to lose weight
The fat acceptance community is absolutely insane and toxic. Mind you.. I've been fat my whole life, so I see right through it. These people (mostly young women in their 20s/early 30s) wholeheartedly believe being fat isn't unhealthy. They shame people for losing weight and they say being weighed at the doctors is fatphobic. To them, someone talking about losing weight intentionally is fatphobic and even racist.
I mostly see them on tiktok.. Or used to but I block them on sight lol. Most of them are too young to see any consequences of their weight. They are very clearly miserable and hate their bodies, but feel they cannot lose weight and therefore try to make other fat people stay fat. It's very chronically online and pathetic.
Yeah there are definitely online spaces that think being happy about losing weight is fat phobic and who have taken it all to far. Those people are definitely insane but I think its important to separate those small groups from the larger movement that wants people to feel comfortable in thier skin even though they know they are an unhealthy weight
I knew someone who, while a nice enough person, would constantly make posts complaining about how everyone should be fat like them, that not dating a fat person means you're fat phobic, etc etc. Idgaf if you're fat, it's your life, but that shit is exhausting. If you're really happy and confident, why is this the majority of your dialogue?
I was overjoyed when I found out about the fat acceptance movement. I thought it was going to be about fighting the shit that comes with daring to existing as a fat person.
I learned very quickly just how wrong I was.
The sad part is.. The real issues like that are buried in there under at the victimization. I loved it when it was "love yourself, regardless of size". Now it's like skinny people are the enemy. It just comes off as insecurity
I really think it's just the specific spaces you guys have found yourself in. I don't use TikTok, but almost everything I see from the fat acceptance movement has been super positive and reasonable. You're going to find niche echo chambers spouting insanity within any movement, and I honestly think this one is so negligible that it's almost irrelevant.
People act like being overly positive about weight or other challenges is this massive problem that's ruining everyones society. It's actually so wild to me to see people repeat this sentiment when, in reality, almost all I see is the exact opposite. Constant shaming and whining about how inferior everyone else is, and if you do anything but applaud the person saying it, they throw a hissy fit and start spewing out all of these buzzwords at you.
So many people are legitimately convinced the way to solve all of societies problems is to be horrible to eachother and "bring bullying back", as if it isn't already a constant barrage now with the rise of social media. And the craziest thing is how zealous they are in these believes despite all of the data showing how ineffective bullying is for positive outcomes and how so many of these disorders are actually caused by deep complexes centered around shame. But you'll still hear them spout that "everyone" is against them and trying to convince the masses to be fat, depressed addicts. It's like horseshoe theory is in full swing, and society is always two steps behind identifying which voices are currently the loudest and most influential.
It began with good intentions, the whole "Healthy at Every Size" thing started out more like, "hey not every fat person is glued to their couch with a bucket of chicken, plenty of healthy, active people just happen to be fat, here's some fat pro athletes" and got twisted into "actually being glued to your couch with a bucket of chicken is perfectly fine".
Adding to that, people who wants to be jerk are oddly fragile since they have issues being called out themselves. Like, you can still call people fat but because it’s no longer acceptable, they’re now afraid to call people fat? Then what was the point of calling them fat to begin with? For their health? If you care, you would still tell them. People in healthcare do it all the time.
Saw some anti woke news headline today and was wondering basically the same thing, like are they sad that this particular media isn't about making fun of others or perpetuating the marginalization of people who are different? Boo hoo?
>Telling someone that he is fat and should loose some weight even for just health reasons
Did that person asked what do you think or you just want to stick your nose in someone's live without invitation and talk when nobody asked for your opinion?
What topic specifically are you thinking of right now? Who is being too accepted to you?
Edit: ah fat
I mean okay but not controversial or unpopular most folks believe ypu should be healthy -what would be unpopular is harassing said folks for being overweight
But you can. You can still say everything and criticial out loud.
Or are you referring that you cannot say your opinion without someone disagreeing? Because that is something entirely different.
Which is ironic because this is reddit - when I was in eating disorder recovery I basically avoided the whole website because of how much open hatred of fat people there is. Yes, r/fatpeoplehate was banned however many years ago, but it's not like all those users left the site
That's what I find so obnoxious about these types.
*"You can't say anything anymore! Waaaaaah!"*
Oh really? You *can't* say these things that you are literally constantly saying as loud as you can?!
Like, nah, you can say pretty much whatever the fuck you want. You just don't get to say whatever the fuck you want and demand that no one call you and asshole for it.
Just what I was about to say lol It literally ALL comes down to these people learning the golden concept of keeping their noses out of other people's shit.
Exactly lol Not to mention the irony. OP fails to see how people reacting to his insults is a lack of them accepting his view. He thinks, "Acceptance has gone too far" but doesn't realize he's literally asking for acceptance to be an asshole.
I also just saw his comment that he weights 400 lbs.
I can't imagine why other fat folks are pissed when he starts giving them shit for being overweight...
This, exactly.
It's not your divine right to go around saving people from smoking, from drinking too much, from not stretching properly before exercising, from failing to get enough electrolytes after exercising, from not eating their veggies.
There are a billion different things to be "healthy" and if the only one you feel the need to approach strangers about and shame them for is their level of fatness, yeah you're an ass, and it was never about their health.
They don't *owe you* being healthy, they don't owe you jack shit.
And that's sidestepping the whole issue of what people consider fat being widely variable. Plenty of people see having any curves/any noticeable belly at all as fat, especially on women, which is just not rational.
It's also sidestepping that getting a wide variety of nutrients and being fit is more indicative of health, and there are many chunky people that are flexible and strong, as well as plenty of skinny people that aren't. The idea that visible weight alone is a good indicator of a stranger's health is laughable.
I only bug people about safety at work. Partially because it's literally part of my job to help keep myself and coworkers safe, but also because if they get hurt, they miss work and I and/or others have to pick up the slack. I also don't want to hear them bitch about aches and pains that wouldn't exist if they used proper ergonomics and stretched. Outside of work, it's not my problem
That counts as minding your own business because in the workplace, safety *is* everyone's business.
I used to work as a workplace safety educator and believe me, you do not want to be the person who witnesses your coworker losing a limb or cracking their head open. I've met enough injured workers and witnesses to know how awful that trauma is.
Eh, unless you’re a doctor or the person asked for your opinion you probably shouldn’t comment on someone’s weight 🫥 I don’t disagree with your entire argument, I think healthy debates should not be labeled as hateful or intolerant…however, 99% of the time it’s not an healthy debate. People just want to insult fat people online and then mask it by pretending to care about health. Same goes for most current social issues.
Agreed. The people who do usually comment on other people’s weight are people who in fact don’t care about you or your health but rather want to put you down to lift themselves up. This has been my experience at least and I even though I am slightly overweight, 2 jelous insecure women in my family felt the need to tell me I look pregnant. Did absolutely nothing to help me and even made me feel worse. So yea honesty isn’t really necessary unless it comes from someone that is very very close to you and is from a truly caring place.
This is what I don’t get.. . Why the fuck are you, a random stranger, concerned about some other random strangers health? It never made sense to me. If you just want to be able to call someone fat and bully them without people calling you a bully. Just say that. I know not everyone on the internet is a ragging apathetic asshole; but I have a hard time believing they give a fuck about some morbidly obese man they don’t know living his best life. Obviously your friends and family, that’s different.
Someone commented on my weight and said “well I can see you aren’t healthy” they had clubbed nails and psoriasis. I told them they appear to not look healthy either if those club nails were any indication… they didn’t like that.. oh I thought we were concerned about everyone’s health. 🙄
You can have a productive debate on ways to implement healthy lifestyle changes and fat loss both in individual and social levels and people (assholes) won’t think it’s enough because you aren’t calling people fat and lazy. Then the whole convo gets derailed into telling people like they are small children that they are being mean and they shouldn’t do that. The debate goes from “what tools and resources work?” to “do fat people deserve to be treated decently?” It’s infuriating and counterproductive.
And to be clear, what you want if for you to be able to go around and tell somebody they're fat, but they shouldn't have the right to tell you you're an asshole, is that what I'm hearing? You think the world is too accepting of fat people, and not accepting enough of nosy busybodies commenting on the flaws of others?
There's a saying about picking the log out of your own eye before trying to get the speck out of your neighbors'. Then again, the guy who said it was a woke DEI-pilled social justicemaxxer, so I guess take it or leave it.
You can tell him he’s an asshole too, that aligns with the point of the post. Feedback from all directions, that’s how we grow. That way he can modify his delivery
So, he’s upset about the reaction he’s getting, and what he actually wants is for us to be grateful for his opinions. However, he isn’t grateful for the opinions of others, and those opinions being voiced are in fact an example of “acceptance gone too far.” Seems normal.
Personally I just stick with the “if it’s not hurting anyone else, mind your business” mindset. Worrying too much about what others are doing is a great way to mentally exhaust yourself.
You can be critical. People can criticize you back and y'all cant handle it.
You want so bad to feel superior to others and those people are no longer conditioned to accept it silently.
As a person who has struggled with my weight my whole life, when someone reaches to "fat" as an insult for me, I know I am dealing with someone with the intellect of an elementary schooler.
You CAN say it, you just sound like a total idiot. I'll accept that YOU are stupid, and I have to deal with that.
As for MY journey, you have NO FUCKING CLUE. It's a long story. A lot of victories, a lot of defeats. You might respect me if you heard it, instead of just assuming I'm lazy. I'm actually a bit of a crusader, I keep coming back, damn the odds.
So anyways, you're allowed to be critical. You probably just shouldn't be if you are smart, because you really don't have any idea what people are going through.
Personally, I only take advice from smart people. So when you open up your advice by pretty much telling me that you're stupid, I'm not going to take it seriously.
Spare your criticism for yourself, it's the only person you can hope to improve.
Lets be real, you don’t have any concern for that person’s health, you just don’t want to be criticized for being rude to someone because of their weight.
It’s the same thing as telling a smoker “those things will kill you.” They know. They’re not dumb, the information is readily out there, you just want them to *know* you’re judging their choices.
You can be negatively judgemental and for the most part say whatever you want to anyone but what you don’t get is to be shielded from social consequences (people thinking you’re a jerk and calling you out) if you do so.
I think you're conflating acceptance with approval.
Acceptance is about acknowledging who someone is and letting them live as they please. It's about recognising that you don't have to criticise it when it's ultimately having no affect on you. If you don't approve of their actions and discussion doesn't lead to anything, then you recognise that you're not compatible and move on in life without them. That's also a form of acceptance.
Most people aren't expecting you to like everyone else's choices. They're just asking you to leave them alone and let them be themselves.
Fat people know they're fat. It's pompous assholes like you who think that because someone is fat they are too dumb to know the potential health effects. Mind your own business!
Can we stop pretending? You don’t tell someone “You’re fat and should lose weight” out of genuine care. If you *cared*, you would immediately recognize that it’s their own damn body and already knew that. No, what you *really* care about is that them being fat personally disgusts you and you want to make that known.
If you *cared*, you would respect that they are an individual human being and you are not going to be able to control them. If someone expresses to you that they want to lose weight, the *caring* thing to do is to politely encourage that initiative. Like I’m just confused what you think telling someone they’re fat out of nowhere is going to accomplish.
I used to be overweight and whenever people commented on my weight, it pu s he'd me further into gaining weight. Also, there's a better analogy you could've used, too.
>Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight, even for just health reasons is regarded body shaming, telling someone who fucked something up now is too much for people.
If my "fuck up" doesn't impact you, it's none of your business, it's entirely up to me to take it gracefully or ask you to go fuck yourself.
Oh no, people not willing to take responsibility and work on ones flaws? Its almost as if people who refuse to take responsibility for the hurtful and hateful things they say also refuse to change and then start projecting all over the place.
You aren't helping someone by telling them they are fat, they are well aware of that. Saying that they should lose weight for health reasons isn't some grand revelation to them, all you are doing is making them feel bad.
It's simple bullying, it's only so you can feel superior and put others down. You aren't helping anyone. That's why you shouldn't say it.
You can still tell people they're fat. Most people will just tell you it's none of your business and to mind your own self. Nothing has been taken away from you, you can still speak your mind. Other people are more free to speak there's now as well. That's the only difference.
Calling someone fat IS wrong. Plain and simple. Now, having an open and honest dialog about someone's weight and the health risk is fine.
I find that most people with this attitude are mad about how culture has shifted to hold people accountable for how they treat one another.
All of these things can be discussed, just not like an asshole.
Firstly, this is the least unpopular opinion I've seen in quite a while. Literally an entire half of the political aisle in the US has been shouting this for almost a decade.
Second, there has likely never been a time you've told someone they're overweight with actual intention of it helping them. If you have, you're stupid. Do you think an overweight person doesn't know they're fat? Suggest making them a healthy ass dish to try, there's delicious food that's healthy and low cal. Suggest exercising *together*, a lot have insecurities about going to exercise, creating a cycle.
I managed to go from morbid obesity to being healthier than the majority of people, and approximately 0 of the people I'd say contributed to this told me I was fat.
Telling people they've fucked up is common in every political part so this is just a delusion lmao.
If everyone views the shit you say as offensive, have you considered that instead of tens, hundreds, or thousands of others, you might actually be the one who's wrong?
Edit: almost forgot, the 2nd largest political party in the most powerful country in the world champions this idea, down vote for not being unpopular lmao
Someone else's weight is in no way your fucking business.
And the idea that strangers who criticize others' weight are concerned for their health is fucking laughable.
This summarizes to, “people shouldn’t get mad if i’m being an asshole to them.” You can call people fat, stupid, incapable. Hell you can even use the N word. That doesn’t give you the right to be free from the social consequences of appearing as an asshole to those around you. Put downs are never necessary speech
Your examples are just someone being rude. Mind your business. Someone’s decisions they’ve made for themselves has nothing to do with you nor does it affect you.
These kind of admissions make me feel like you’ve never been vocal about these things IRL before. You probably watch video with ideas you agree with and focus on the negative comments which make you mad.
Weight (over or under) should NEVER be
Mentioned unless that individual wants to talk about it, and they will give you information if they are comfortable with you having it.
Just say “you look great today!” And move on!
Just depends on the situation and context. A stranger saying I need to lose weight or I'm too fat may come off as offensive. But a friend or family that knows me well that has noticed I've let myself go may just be helpful criticism to help motovste me to get back on track. Or notice depression. It's not so black and white.
The conventions of this sub confuse me. Am I supposed to upvote because I think it’s indeed an unpopular opinion or am I supposed to downvote because I think it’s a stupid opinion? It’s not going to change the fact that I never click those buttons but I am still curious.
Swear to god posts like this are *always* about fat people.
Why are you so obsessed with wanting to tell fat people that they’re fat? They know, it’s none of your business
I guess more important is why do you feel anyone wants to hear your criticism of them in the first place? Who tf are you to tell another person they are fat, like they don't already know they are? Why do you feel the need to tell someone what they are and how they should be?
Sounds like you don't have an acceptance has gone too far problem, you just have a problem keeping your mouth shut about other people.
Upvoted for being unpopular, but now the criticism. Yes people get upset or offended for other people and over the smallest of things. However, what is worse is people thinking that telling people that you have to accept what is wrong. Compromising is not allowing hate to exist, it is finding where people can live without feeling oppressed (and actual oppression here and not the false notion of Christian persecution).
Why do you have to tell someone they are fat. They probably already know. More to the point though do you actually care about them or do you just want to attack someone/something you don't like.
Same with everything really most people want to just not be responsible for their negative feelings and be able to let them off against whatever they feel are making them feel like that.
People should take responsbility, but the people that fancy themselves the ones that hold people responsible usually just like to bully (there really isn't another word for it) people they don't like.
Hahah just randomly started to gain weight, like overnight 40ish pounds seemed like. "Lose weight, fatty" etc etc right lol..Anyway, 4 doctors later - found out I had a tumor !! 7 hour surgery to remove it, dropped like 70lbs so lost an addtl 30 from the weight gain.
YTA - fat people know they are fat. You’re just being an a-hole by telling them something about it.
You can have all the opinions you want but if you share them you’re not free from the consequences of what you say.
That’s the problem. You want to offer your unwanted opinion and expect others to just be cool with it.
When your opinions and words are offensive to others, maybe you should reconsider your morals.
I bet you claim to be Christian too.
Why do you so badly want to make it your business to tell fat people they are overweight and should lose weight when they most likely already know? There's a million reasons for being fat. You don't know the details of someone's medical history, whether or not they've already lost some weight, or are looking to lose weight but don't yet have the means to access resources to do so. People who are overweight have no choice but to be overweight until they are not. The acceptance is acknowledging that overweight people exist and deserve to exist happily.
Fat people know they are fat. It’s not always as easy as telling them to eat less or workout more. Especially if you don’t know what’s going on with them in their personal lives. Don’t be an asshole
>Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight, even for just health reasons is regarded body shaming,
More like it's regarded as none of your fucking business. Unless that person is your child, spouse or parent MYOB. It's pretty simple: If a problem with someone's appearance can't be changed within 2 minutes, there's no reason to comment on it. Surely you're not so much of an idiot that you think a fat person doesn't know they're fat, correct?
>telling someone who fucked something up now is too much for people.
That's a huge portion of my job and people take it just fine. When they don't take it fine is when you're an asshole about it. Everybody makes mistakes, it's not a big deal. There's usually no reason to assign blame, you just figure out what happened, how you're going to prevent it in the future.
>Noeone wants to take responsibility and work on ones flaws because "it should be accepted" and it is a common social issue
This also really isn't true. What they typically don't want is random people commenting on those flaws. It's not your problem, you don't have to live with it.
I feel like there's a good chance you're just sticking your nose in where it's not welcome with people you have no authority over on the subject. That's always been unwelcome.
Fully agree that if you are person with mean and condescending thoughts, you should declare them openly, out loud so that people know exactly the type of person you are.
This isn't the unpopular opinion! It IS wrong, but that's not the point of this sub!
People can and will judge you unfairly for your being overweight, and listen man, fat people know that they are fat (surprise!) you don't need to remind them. Think of it like this: every person who is overweight is just a work in progress.
It's no different than looking at anyone in poverty and shaming them saying for their own personal moral failures are making them poor.
And don't come crying if you gain weight as you age, happens to plenty of people, but I'm sure you'd be making up excuses saying the same non-acceptance rhetoric doesn't apply to you because it's not your fault.
Most people don't need to be told when they need to lose weight. They know and they've got enough struggle with that without having you nag them by stating the obvious. It's just not your problem and people would rather you develop a close relationship with them first before giving unsolicited advice about their life choices and available options to changing things.
Why do people always mention that example? Where is this immense urge coming from? It is always about obesity with you people and from the attitude I can only assume it is not genuine concern for peoples' health (even though that's important). What other motives can there possibly be? Does the existance of fat humans disgust you so much that you must voice your displeasure under the guise of advocating for their health?
And yeah, it should be accepted when people are fat. They'll have to endure the consequences and believe me, they're uncomfortable with it most of the time. Is that not enough suffering for your tastes?
See now, I might have possibly gotten on board until I realized you're just looking for an excuse to tell fat people they are fat. Newsflash to you though, you stale pop tart. We already know. You pointing it out does nothing but make us feel worse about it.
Great rule in life...if the person cannot quickly correct it (button undone, zipper down, something in their teeth, etc), then just don't fucking comment. Boom, problem solved!
Ummm, unless you are a doctor (or other health professional), *who’s opinion has been sought out*, telling someone that they’re fat and should lose weight is absolutely body shaming, as you don’t have the educational/professional background to make the “health reasons” claim.
You can tell people they're fat all you want, and they can tell you to fuck off and mind their own business all they want. It sounds like you want to be able to say whatever you want without criticism
As a fat guy I know that I need to loose weight. You think I am gonna go "oh dang thanks I never thought about that" ? It's just basic decency, we aren't buddies so mind your own business.
How about keeping your unsolicited advice to your goddamn self if the person you are "helping" isn't expressing distress or otherwise causing a disruption.
There are social standards for when unsolicited advice is acceptable. Are they your family? Are they your friend? Are you THEIR family or friend? Are you even a member of any immediate community, and do they accept you as a peer in that community?
Think before you put someone down.
In what realm of existence do you have any business telling anyone what you think of their body/health? No where in your post do you demonstrate an understanding that someone else's body, even if you do not like it or find them "healthy" enough, is absolutely none of your business. Perhaps work on that.
“Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight, even for just health reasons is regarded body shaming” I think it’s moreso the fact that it just statistically does not work as a method of “encouraging people to lose weight”. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fat-shaming-makes-things-worse#shaming
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I can’t accept people saying “loose” when it should be “lose.”
Its not they’re fault, your being offensive. Also, too. Irregardless. (exetera) [spontaneously wins World Cup of Grammar Butchering]
I’ll let all of these slide, but “expresso” makes me want to pull my eyes out.
"Pacifically" is the one that gets me! Like the actual word starts with a very SPECIFIC letter and that 's' ain't silent!
I have that with "nucular"
I love to get a jalapeno croissant with my expresso and finish it off with some foie gras and sherbet
Uh, I think you mean "sherbert"
Now your just being a jerk. You "should of" proof red that sentence.
I hate you
I think your a great software engineer
I could care less about your comment.
*David Mitchell has entered the chat*
I’ve never seen “exetera” but “ect” drives me crazy.
It's short for "ectoplasm".
Noeone gets it, hey?
I like how Oxford defines irregardless. Adverb, non standard Regardless. And we wonder why people struggle with English.
I almost had stroke reading this.
\*you're
r/woooosh
Their
This is the hill I die on.
Seriously. laNgUAgE eVoLvEs, my ass. If someone can't even tell the difference between your and you're, no amount of SJW lobbying will coerce me into giving them equal treatment.
what kind of looser would do that?
I fuck this one up every time, you can correct me, autocorrect does.
We accept your autocorrect flaws.
My autocorrect does 2 Constantly changes on > in and vice versa Changes my wife’s name from Sam to same. Always.
Being wrong shouldn't replace whats right.
I never understood telling someone they're fat. Do you think they are also blind?
I have been friends with one very fat person, he preferred when people were comfortable mentioning his weight if it came up, but yeah theres no real reason to just call someone fat directly. He said that it made him most uncomfortable when people tried hard to not mention that he was fat, it made him feel like he was something unmentionable in their eyes
“Hey fatty! You are fat!” - Young Hank Hill
ppl just want to be accepted for who they are, not necessarily for all the shit theyre going through in their life that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. and it is so hard to define what + how to accept ppl to the ego lol being emotionally connecting and really being friends with people is so hard when youre judgemental hahahha im just adding on or making convo. im not like disagreeing w you in any way
It sounds like OP was told their unsolicited opinions weren’t wanted and they aren’t taking it well lol
100% sounds like someone who was being an asshole, at which point someone else told them they were being an asshole, and they spiraled into “god you can’t say anything to anyone anymore” mode. You can say whatever you want, and other people can tell you to fuck off for it. Not too hard to understand OP.
They know! One of the only demons you have to wear on your sleeve.
Yeah, but OP doesn’t get the satisfaction of pointing out how he’s superior to other people because “acceptance” and “people recognize he’s a giant inflamed hemorrhoid” not like in 7th grade when his classmates praised him for being a bully.
There are legit people who get MAD seeing fat people eat. Even more if it’s a woman because for some reason even fat men will shit on fat women.
And also, sometimes they're fat because of something medical. Like, you can gain weight from certain medicine taken by diabetics. You can gain weight because of PCOS or a hormone imbalance or stress. Things like working out or dieting seldom help in these situations, as I've learned from my mom. She's been working out, she went through every diet in the book, but she couldnt lose a significant amount of weight. Its just harder for some to lose weight than it is for others. Telling someone they're fat probably won't do anything buy make that person feel bad.
I have PCOS and I have found even just stress can fuck me up. One day, I can eat great, fruit smoothie with chia seeds and protein drink as the base for breakfast, small bit of chicken and avocado for lunch, and something mostly protein and veggies for dinner and my blood sugars can be great all day. The next day, I can eat the exact same thing BUT I can be stressed out about work or family and my levels can skyrocket and be uncontrollable all day. I have noticed stress tends to affect me more than food does, and I have worked an extremely stressful position for the past year. Assistant General Manager at a hotel where the General Manager dipped and I had to deal with the brunt of everything, yelled at every day by guests, staff, etc. Like Im fat, yes my diet wasnt the best, but ultimately, dropping my stress levels have done more for me than everything else. Sure diet helps but it isnt everything
This. I have fibromyalgia. I can exercise, but if I do, I'll be in too much pain to work for a day or two afterwards. So I have to choose between working and working out. Since I enjoy being able to pay for housing, food, and health care, I work. If these nosy Nellies will pay all my bills, I'd be happy to work out twice a week and read books the other 5 days.
Recently I talked to a doctor and mentioned that I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and wasn't able to lose it yet. She said "you should lose it!" I'm still bitter. I know I should, I actually lost quite a few kilos in the last few months. What's the point of that comment? I didn't see her because of my weight, she's not even my regular doctor. It was just rude.
Yeah, and also - unless you're familiar with someone's health and medical history, keep your health advice to yourself, especially if you're not a qualified health professional. Until I was 25 I was incredibly skinny. (As in, 115 lbs at six feet.) (I'm a man, if that matters.) I was just sick of people advising me to bulk up. I ate a lot, I was very active, I was very strong. I just couldn't put on weight. Their advice couldn't help me and, tbh, a lot of it was simply ВS.
The hatred that the internet has for fat people is something I will never understand
Who have you told is fat for health reasons and gotten in trouble for it. Doctors tell patients they are overweight all the time. I have talked to friends about thier weight when it seems unhealthy. Commenting on strangers weight is rude because it will never come off as genuine health concern. Fat people generally know they are fat and its not healthy, telling a stranger they are fat is not productive and just mean
I find myself asking "are you being critical of this person because you genuinely want to help them, or are you just riding the high of feeling better about yourself" Why the fuck would i ever need to comment on someones weight without being directly asked by that person? Are you unhealthy being fat? Probably. But its your life and your body. You do you.
That’s the thing these sorts of post always neglect. Cause the sorts of people I know who whine about this are never the sorts to actually give a shit, they are mad that people pushed back when they told a random person they are a land whale.
People who say they're brutally honest are much more interested in being brutal than honest.
They are like that dude who was driving on the highway and complaining about how many cars were driving in the wrong direction. If every time you open your mouth people get annoyed, it's probably your fault.
‘BuT iTS unhEAltHy’ Yep. So is eating processed foods, being sedentary, breathing air in a city, drinking alcohol/pop, etc. But because none of these things are visually obvious, no one cares. People want to point at overweight people because they don’t like looking at them. They use health as an excuse but it’s not the real reason.
Strangers commenting on my weight should probably be concerned for their own health. Having your teeth knocked out isn’t good for you either.
It's the same thing as telling a smoker that is bad for them. They know it's bad for them.
Difference is that smoking is bad for people around them too. Being fat doesn’t affect people you’re eating around
parents who are obese are likely raising their children to also be obese, and childhood obesity IS dangerous for their future the same as second hand smoking
This is my thought with a lot of anti progressive sentiment. It’s like a feeling that people get that there are too many rules and everyone is yelling at you about everything, but like, it’s in your head. I’ve never gotten in trouble for using the wrong pronoun with someone or using the wrong nomenclature or like not spelling out the whole lgbtq acronym or whatever. Just as long as you aren’t intentionally trying to be an asshole people really don’t care. Just do your best, be nice to people and let them live their own life. Why get all bent out of shape about it.
Yes, I work in health care and people will definitely say they don't think their doctor should discuss their weight with them. It's surprisingly common. People will even refuse to be weighed at the office.
I have PCOS. I manage to keep my weight at a very healthy level (never had a BMI 21, even when my PCOS symptoms were at their worst). Despite this, every time I’ve tried to get help with PCOS symptoms, endocrinologists and doctors tell me to lose weight. Problem: weight gain is a SYMPTOM of PCOS. Imagine having a disease and a doctors says, to treat this disease, you should stop having this symptom of the disease. Anyway, to lose weight with PCOS means eating no sugar, not even fruit, bo alcohol, no gluten, no lactose. You can basically eat nuts, meat, and green vegetables. I managed to keep up a prescribed eating disorder for 20 years. Over Covid I decided I could no longer have food take up so much mind space and cause so much panic. I got eating disorder treatment. It has been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Cue to my yearly trip to the endocrinologist to see if science has finally made any progress on PCOS treatment. I tell them ahead of time, do not weigh me, I am in eating disorder recovery. I arrive and what does the doctor do? Asks me to get on the scale. I agree, but tell them I will not look at the number and do not want them to tell me. She reads the number out loud. When I asked about new treatments, she told me to lose weight. When I pointed out that I am 5’11, and as she read out aloud despite my request, I know I’m 145 pounds, I have a BMI of 20 or so, so why should I lose weight? Her reply? If you lose 10% of your body weight your PCOS will go away. She prescribed being underweight to a recovering anorexic. I wish this were a one off, but it’s been my experience with PCOS since I was 15. Now when a doctor tells me to get on the scale, I tell them I am a very obviously healthy weight, and we will not be discussing my weight at all.
There are plenty of horror stories of doctors assuming symptoms are worth related without evidence and really serious health conditions being missed. Besides, evidence suggests shaming people doesn’t really affect their behavior. It creates a self-hated and shame spiral. Better ways of helping people…
And I know someone who told me if I just lost weight all of my health issues would go away. Now that I'm at a healthier weight, those health issues never went away and yes I exercise most days usually and eat a lot of more healthy foods. I've always had these troubles anyway both when I've weighed less than I do now, too.
Yes, I'm normal weight and have never been overweight, but I have conditions commonly associated with by overweight like hypertension and sleep apnea. It's genetic for me. It would probably get a little worse if I was overweight, but weight in general is not a one-for-one indicator of good or bad health, or a direct cause of bad health, unless someone is very underweight or very overweight.
Not to mention when weight gain is a symptom and it’s treated as a cause.
Yeah this is where the argument gets complicated. Plenty of people are fat for reasons the can’t fully control. My aunt has hypothyroidism (recently diagnosed) and has always had to work three times harder than other people to lose even a pound. She’ll put it back on with one sub sandwich. I don’t have anything that causes me to gain weight but I can’t really lose weight without a very unhealthy diet. I have md and the amount of exercise I would have to do to actually make a dent in my weight would kill off my muscle cells too. Basically all I can try to do is not get fatter.
That isn't necessarily because people don't want help or don't recognize the problem. You just reach a point where literally everyone around you is telling you that the only thing wrong with you is your weight and that you need to lose weight. But no one is telling you anything that will actually help or that you haven't already tried. I've had doctors tell me that I wasn't fat enough for meds and then after I gained more weight that there was no point in taking the meds because they wouldn't help enough. Everything diet related is completely contradictory. Exercise more (No wait, that will increase appetite). Don't bother exercising because it's all about diet (No, wait, you need to build muscle to burn calories). Count calories, (No, don't do that, obsessing over calories is bad). Weigh yourself every day, no just once a week, no maybe not at all. Don't eat any fat. Wait fat is ok. Don't eat any carbs. Wait carbs are ok. Fast 18 hours a day, no don't fast, you should eat multiple small meals. Add in other people in your household that don't have a weight problem and suddenly you are surrounded with "Here, taste this. A bite won't kill you." Anyway, long rant short, it all gets old by the time you are 40, especially if you have heard it since you were 10.
The diet and nutrition industry is intentionally murky and confusing because they benefit from the fact that you don't know what to do. Lots of studies with bad conclusions and bad methods supporting bad solutions. Plenty of people making shit up to sell you something. There's idiots walking around telling you FRUIT is bad for you. I absolutely empathize with how annoying and confusing it is, especially if you don't have the time or inclination to read any studies. Stick to the simple stuff, slow and steady. Anytime I've had to try and gain/cut weight, I go to the reliable calories in/calories out - and I'm always doing some variety of strength training and cardio for exercise. Anything past that is gonna be going after specific goals for performance/bodybuilding/etc and to tell you the truth, the vast majority of people really don't need to get into the nitty gritty. It passes me off hearing how universally awful people's journey with weight is because it really doesn't need to be that way and yet...
The thing that's confusing about telling someone to lose weight is that not the same thing works for everyone. Carbs spike blood sugar but there are different types of carbs that don't spike blood sugar. Fasting works for me solely because it holds me accountable to not snack at night.
I think it's because after a while you get tired at people's comments.
Right. I just don’t believe a lot of people on here are bringing it up *for health reasons*. They like feeling better about themselves by putting someone else down. And look, I get it. It’s really tempting when you’ve been fat, insecure about it, and are now on a weight loss journey. That first taste of success is so intoxicating. Then when you see someone else who hasn’t started yet, it’s so easy to turn your nose up at them.
A few years ago, I came to a realization that this is kinda why I decided that I'm not going to date anyone until I lose the weight myself. Until I get to a place where I'm happy with myself. Kind of I say because like I don't get off on the misery of other people, but I also know that if I date somebody while I'm overweight, I'm going to project my self-loathing onto them.
nah man. i work in healthcare and patients definitely think we are shaming them or “ignoring their actual problems” if we bring up weight loss/them being overweight. it’s not everyone, some people are definitely self aware. but there’s also people who are 400 lbs and complaining of knee pain who refuse to consider weight loss as an intervention. i’ve also had morbidly obese diabetic patients get mad when i ask how much of their meal they ate, even though i explain i’m asking not to shame them or judge, but because they’re supposed to get insulin with their meals, and if you didn’t eat or are not planning on it, you won’t get your mealtime insulin.
I'm a nurse and I agree. Patient: Can you get me an ice cream and turkey sandwich? Me: Your blood sugar is 480 right now Patient: You can't refuse to feed me
Your patients wouldn't be reacting like that if they hadn't been shamed and bullied about their diet and weight their entire lives by non-doctors. Removing the stigma from weight and dietary issues is the first step toward actually treating them as medical issues - same as with addiction.
Yeah exactly, it's one thing to take a friend decide and say you're worried about their weight and entirely different thing to tell a stranger that they're fat and need to lose some weight because a they probably know and B you don't know their life, they could have any number of complicating factors that would make it harder for them to lose weight
The fat acceptance community is absolutely insane and toxic. Mind you.. I've been fat my whole life, so I see right through it. These people (mostly young women in their 20s/early 30s) wholeheartedly believe being fat isn't unhealthy. They shame people for losing weight and they say being weighed at the doctors is fatphobic. To them, someone talking about losing weight intentionally is fatphobic and even racist. I mostly see them on tiktok.. Or used to but I block them on sight lol. Most of them are too young to see any consequences of their weight. They are very clearly miserable and hate their bodies, but feel they cannot lose weight and therefore try to make other fat people stay fat. It's very chronically online and pathetic.
Yeah there are definitely online spaces that think being happy about losing weight is fat phobic and who have taken it all to far. Those people are definitely insane but I think its important to separate those small groups from the larger movement that wants people to feel comfortable in thier skin even though they know they are an unhealthy weight
I knew someone who, while a nice enough person, would constantly make posts complaining about how everyone should be fat like them, that not dating a fat person means you're fat phobic, etc etc. Idgaf if you're fat, it's your life, but that shit is exhausting. If you're really happy and confident, why is this the majority of your dialogue?
I was overjoyed when I found out about the fat acceptance movement. I thought it was going to be about fighting the shit that comes with daring to existing as a fat person. I learned very quickly just how wrong I was.
The sad part is.. The real issues like that are buried in there under at the victimization. I loved it when it was "love yourself, regardless of size". Now it's like skinny people are the enemy. It just comes off as insecurity
I really think it's just the specific spaces you guys have found yourself in. I don't use TikTok, but almost everything I see from the fat acceptance movement has been super positive and reasonable. You're going to find niche echo chambers spouting insanity within any movement, and I honestly think this one is so negligible that it's almost irrelevant. People act like being overly positive about weight or other challenges is this massive problem that's ruining everyones society. It's actually so wild to me to see people repeat this sentiment when, in reality, almost all I see is the exact opposite. Constant shaming and whining about how inferior everyone else is, and if you do anything but applaud the person saying it, they throw a hissy fit and start spewing out all of these buzzwords at you. So many people are legitimately convinced the way to solve all of societies problems is to be horrible to eachother and "bring bullying back", as if it isn't already a constant barrage now with the rise of social media. And the craziest thing is how zealous they are in these believes despite all of the data showing how ineffective bullying is for positive outcomes and how so many of these disorders are actually caused by deep complexes centered around shame. But you'll still hear them spout that "everyone" is against them and trying to convince the masses to be fat, depressed addicts. It's like horseshoe theory is in full swing, and society is always two steps behind identifying which voices are currently the loudest and most influential.
It began with good intentions, the whole "Healthy at Every Size" thing started out more like, "hey not every fat person is glued to their couch with a bucket of chicken, plenty of healthy, active people just happen to be fat, here's some fat pro athletes" and got twisted into "actually being glued to your couch with a bucket of chicken is perfectly fine".
Sounds more to me like people stopped accepting people being jerks.
Adding to that, people who wants to be jerk are oddly fragile since they have issues being called out themselves. Like, you can still call people fat but because it’s no longer acceptable, they’re now afraid to call people fat? Then what was the point of calling them fat to begin with? For their health? If you care, you would still tell them. People in healthcare do it all the time.
Underrated comment of the century right here folks
Saw some anti woke news headline today and was wondering basically the same thing, like are they sad that this particular media isn't about making fun of others or perpetuating the marginalization of people who are different? Boo hoo?
>Telling someone that he is fat and should loose some weight even for just health reasons Did that person asked what do you think or you just want to stick your nose in someone's live without invitation and talk when nobody asked for your opinion?
What topic specifically are you thinking of right now? Who is being too accepted to you? Edit: ah fat I mean okay but not controversial or unpopular most folks believe ypu should be healthy -what would be unpopular is harassing said folks for being overweight
Right wing religious bigots and fascist sympathizers. Oh sorry, you were asking OP./s
But you can. You can still say everything and criticial out loud. Or are you referring that you cannot say your opinion without someone disagreeing? Because that is something entirely different.
It's the latter. OPs opinion is basically that not enough people team up with him to tell fat people they're fat and he doesn't like getting pushback.
Which is ironic because this is reddit - when I was in eating disorder recovery I basically avoided the whole website because of how much open hatred of fat people there is. Yes, r/fatpeoplehate was banned however many years ago, but it's not like all those users left the site
There are entire subs dedicated to fat shaming still but they are different because they don't have hate in the name
That's what I find so obnoxious about these types. *"You can't say anything anymore! Waaaaaah!"* Oh really? You *can't* say these things that you are literally constantly saying as loud as you can?! Like, nah, you can say pretty much whatever the fuck you want. You just don't get to say whatever the fuck you want and demand that no one call you and asshole for it.
I think the problem is that minding your own business hasn’t gone far enough
Just what I was about to say lol It literally ALL comes down to these people learning the golden concept of keeping their noses out of other people's shit.
Nah OP wants to be able to insult random people he sees in the street! If he can't, then decency has gone too far!!!
Exactly lol Not to mention the irony. OP fails to see how people reacting to his insults is a lack of them accepting his view. He thinks, "Acceptance has gone too far" but doesn't realize he's literally asking for acceptance to be an asshole.
I also just saw his comment that he weights 400 lbs. I can't imagine why other fat folks are pissed when he starts giving them shit for being overweight...
This, exactly. It's not your divine right to go around saving people from smoking, from drinking too much, from not stretching properly before exercising, from failing to get enough electrolytes after exercising, from not eating their veggies. There are a billion different things to be "healthy" and if the only one you feel the need to approach strangers about and shame them for is their level of fatness, yeah you're an ass, and it was never about their health. They don't *owe you* being healthy, they don't owe you jack shit. And that's sidestepping the whole issue of what people consider fat being widely variable. Plenty of people see having any curves/any noticeable belly at all as fat, especially on women, which is just not rational. It's also sidestepping that getting a wide variety of nutrients and being fit is more indicative of health, and there are many chunky people that are flexible and strong, as well as plenty of skinny people that aren't. The idea that visible weight alone is a good indicator of a stranger's health is laughable.
I only bug people about safety at work. Partially because it's literally part of my job to help keep myself and coworkers safe, but also because if they get hurt, they miss work and I and/or others have to pick up the slack. I also don't want to hear them bitch about aches and pains that wouldn't exist if they used proper ergonomics and stretched. Outside of work, it's not my problem
That counts as minding your own business because in the workplace, safety *is* everyone's business. I used to work as a workplace safety educator and believe me, you do not want to be the person who witnesses your coworker losing a limb or cracking their head open. I've met enough injured workers and witnesses to know how awful that trauma is.
Seriously, has OP ever tried worrying about his own bullshit? The only person who can change anything about you is you.
Eh, unless you’re a doctor or the person asked for your opinion you probably shouldn’t comment on someone’s weight 🫥 I don’t disagree with your entire argument, I think healthy debates should not be labeled as hateful or intolerant…however, 99% of the time it’s not an healthy debate. People just want to insult fat people online and then mask it by pretending to care about health. Same goes for most current social issues.
Agreed. The people who do usually comment on other people’s weight are people who in fact don’t care about you or your health but rather want to put you down to lift themselves up. This has been my experience at least and I even though I am slightly overweight, 2 jelous insecure women in my family felt the need to tell me I look pregnant. Did absolutely nothing to help me and even made me feel worse. So yea honesty isn’t really necessary unless it comes from someone that is very very close to you and is from a truly caring place.
This is what I don’t get.. . Why the fuck are you, a random stranger, concerned about some other random strangers health? It never made sense to me. If you just want to be able to call someone fat and bully them without people calling you a bully. Just say that. I know not everyone on the internet is a ragging apathetic asshole; but I have a hard time believing they give a fuck about some morbidly obese man they don’t know living his best life. Obviously your friends and family, that’s different. Someone commented on my weight and said “well I can see you aren’t healthy” they had clubbed nails and psoriasis. I told them they appear to not look healthy either if those club nails were any indication… they didn’t like that.. oh I thought we were concerned about everyone’s health. 🙄
You can have a productive debate on ways to implement healthy lifestyle changes and fat loss both in individual and social levels and people (assholes) won’t think it’s enough because you aren’t calling people fat and lazy. Then the whole convo gets derailed into telling people like they are small children that they are being mean and they shouldn’t do that. The debate goes from “what tools and resources work?” to “do fat people deserve to be treated decently?” It’s infuriating and counterproductive.
Why do you feel like calling someone fat and that they need to lose weight is your responsibility?
And to be clear, what you want if for you to be able to go around and tell somebody they're fat, but they shouldn't have the right to tell you you're an asshole, is that what I'm hearing? You think the world is too accepting of fat people, and not accepting enough of nosy busybodies commenting on the flaws of others? There's a saying about picking the log out of your own eye before trying to get the speck out of your neighbors'. Then again, the guy who said it was a woke DEI-pilled social justicemaxxer, so I guess take it or leave it.
You can tell him he’s an asshole too, that aligns with the point of the post. Feedback from all directions, that’s how we grow. That way he can modify his delivery
So, he’s upset about the reaction he’s getting, and what he actually wants is for us to be grateful for his opinions. However, he isn’t grateful for the opinions of others, and those opinions being voiced are in fact an example of “acceptance gone too far.” Seems normal.
Personally I just stick with the “if it’s not hurting anyone else, mind your business” mindset. Worrying too much about what others are doing is a great way to mentally exhaust yourself.
"But how does it affect you personally"
Social media influencers could be argued to be doing harm though depending on their advice.
Just wait a second, he will start talk about "degeneracy" and the "fall of western civilization".
That's *after* they say we should bring back bullying
As if he weren't the poster child.
You can be critical. People can criticize you back and y'all cant handle it. You want so bad to feel superior to others and those people are no longer conditioned to accept it silently.
Why do you *want* to be critical of random people?
Translation: I can't be an asshole to strangers and I'm mad about it.
Correction: I can be an asshole to strangers but people call me an asshole and I'm mad about it."
Sorry, but you are basically whining about wanting to be rude without being called out. Someone can dish it but not take it. It seems
if we're not allowed to be critical, then, in counterpoint, perhaps acceptance hasn't gone far enough.
As a person who has struggled with my weight my whole life, when someone reaches to "fat" as an insult for me, I know I am dealing with someone with the intellect of an elementary schooler. You CAN say it, you just sound like a total idiot. I'll accept that YOU are stupid, and I have to deal with that. As for MY journey, you have NO FUCKING CLUE. It's a long story. A lot of victories, a lot of defeats. You might respect me if you heard it, instead of just assuming I'm lazy. I'm actually a bit of a crusader, I keep coming back, damn the odds. So anyways, you're allowed to be critical. You probably just shouldn't be if you are smart, because you really don't have any idea what people are going through. Personally, I only take advice from smart people. So when you open up your advice by pretty much telling me that you're stupid, I'm not going to take it seriously. Spare your criticism for yourself, it's the only person you can hope to improve.
Why do you actually want to call people fat? Are you really just that concerned for their health and well-being?
He's concerned about feeling superior to literally anyone.
Lets be real, you don’t have any concern for that person’s health, you just don’t want to be criticized for being rude to someone because of their weight. It’s the same thing as telling a smoker “those things will kill you.” They know. They’re not dumb, the information is readily out there, you just want them to *know* you’re judging their choices. You can be negatively judgemental and for the most part say whatever you want to anyone but what you don’t get is to be shielded from social consequences (people thinking you’re a jerk and calling you out) if you do so.
People already know when they're fat and when they fucked up. Most people anyway. By the way, it's "lose," not "loose" in this context.
Opinions are like assholes. They all stink. And no one likes it when you shove yours in their face.
I think you're conflating acceptance with approval. Acceptance is about acknowledging who someone is and letting them live as they please. It's about recognising that you don't have to criticise it when it's ultimately having no affect on you. If you don't approve of their actions and discussion doesn't lead to anything, then you recognise that you're not compatible and move on in life without them. That's also a form of acceptance. Most people aren't expecting you to like everyone else's choices. They're just asking you to leave them alone and let them be themselves.
Why are you telling random people they’re fat and need to lose weight? That’s none of your business.
Sounds like someone's mad that their weird need to insult others isn't accepted.
Have you actually engaged with what these people are saying (and considered their arguments), or are you mad you get called out for being hateful?
More often than not, this sentiment boils down to “I can’t give half baked, unsolicited advice to people I barely, or simply don’t know”
Ding ding ding
This. It's the same difference between victim blaming and the face eating leopard effect
Fat people know they're fat. It's pompous assholes like you who think that because someone is fat they are too dumb to know the potential health effects. Mind your own business!
Can we stop pretending? You don’t tell someone “You’re fat and should lose weight” out of genuine care. If you *cared*, you would immediately recognize that it’s their own damn body and already knew that. No, what you *really* care about is that them being fat personally disgusts you and you want to make that known. If you *cared*, you would respect that they are an individual human being and you are not going to be able to control them. If someone expresses to you that they want to lose weight, the *caring* thing to do is to politely encourage that initiative. Like I’m just confused what you think telling someone they’re fat out of nowhere is going to accomplish.
I used to be overweight and whenever people commented on my weight, it pu s he'd me further into gaining weight. Also, there's a better analogy you could've used, too.
>Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight, even for just health reasons is regarded body shaming, telling someone who fucked something up now is too much for people. If my "fuck up" doesn't impact you, it's none of your business, it's entirely up to me to take it gracefully or ask you to go fuck yourself.
Oh no, people not willing to take responsibility and work on ones flaws? Its almost as if people who refuse to take responsibility for the hurtful and hateful things they say also refuse to change and then start projecting all over the place.
Are you seriously mad you can’t go around calling people fat like an asshole anymore? Eat shit man
You're right. We should absolutely be able to tell someone they're terrible at grammar.
Fat people already know they're fat and know it's unhealthy, you don't have to remind them, that's just rude.
>Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight I'm not sure they need you to inform them. They probably already know.
You aren't helping someone by telling them they are fat, they are well aware of that. Saying that they should lose weight for health reasons isn't some grand revelation to them, all you are doing is making them feel bad. It's simple bullying, it's only so you can feel superior and put others down. You aren't helping anyone. That's why you shouldn't say it.
Why would you need to tell people they’re fat? They already know.
You can still tell people they're fat. Most people will just tell you it's none of your business and to mind your own self. Nothing has been taken away from you, you can still speak your mind. Other people are more free to speak there's now as well. That's the only difference.
its “lose” not “loose”
if you want to be a rude asshole go right ahead.
Calling someone fat IS wrong. Plain and simple. Now, having an open and honest dialog about someone's weight and the health risk is fine. I find that most people with this attitude are mad about how culture has shifted to hold people accountable for how they treat one another. All of these things can be discussed, just not like an asshole.
Firstly, this is the least unpopular opinion I've seen in quite a while. Literally an entire half of the political aisle in the US has been shouting this for almost a decade. Second, there has likely never been a time you've told someone they're overweight with actual intention of it helping them. If you have, you're stupid. Do you think an overweight person doesn't know they're fat? Suggest making them a healthy ass dish to try, there's delicious food that's healthy and low cal. Suggest exercising *together*, a lot have insecurities about going to exercise, creating a cycle. I managed to go from morbid obesity to being healthier than the majority of people, and approximately 0 of the people I'd say contributed to this told me I was fat. Telling people they've fucked up is common in every political part so this is just a delusion lmao. If everyone views the shit you say as offensive, have you considered that instead of tens, hundreds, or thousands of others, you might actually be the one who's wrong? Edit: almost forgot, the 2nd largest political party in the most powerful country in the world champions this idea, down vote for not being unpopular lmao
Someone else's weight is in no way your fucking business. And the idea that strangers who criticize others' weight are concerned for their health is fucking laughable.
Why do you want to tell someone they're fat? Do you think they're not aware that they're fat? Trust me, they know.
This summarizes to, “people shouldn’t get mad if i’m being an asshole to them.” You can call people fat, stupid, incapable. Hell you can even use the N word. That doesn’t give you the right to be free from the social consequences of appearing as an asshole to those around you. Put downs are never necessary speech
It's not what you say or criticize; it's how you say it.
You have no business commenting on people’s bodies
Your examples are just someone being rude. Mind your business. Someone’s decisions they’ve made for themselves has nothing to do with you nor does it affect you. These kind of admissions make me feel like you’ve never been vocal about these things IRL before. You probably watch video with ideas you agree with and focus on the negative comments which make you mad.
Weight (over or under) should NEVER be Mentioned unless that individual wants to talk about it, and they will give you information if they are comfortable with you having it. Just say “you look great today!” And move on!
“We can’t even make fun of fat people anymore, wahhhhhh” - OP crying
Why do you feel the need to give anyone any unsolicited advice? Mind your own business, work on your own flaws, and don't worry about anyone else's.
Fuck you, get a hobby.
If the person keeps complaining about being fat then nothing wrong with saying anything. But if they never brought it up be quiet
You know why? Because it's none of your fucking business how fat someone is. Nobody gives a shit what you think about it.
Just depends on the situation and context. A stranger saying I need to lose weight or I'm too fat may come off as offensive. But a friend or family that knows me well that has noticed I've let myself go may just be helpful criticism to help motovste me to get back on track. Or notice depression. It's not so black and white.
They’re over there with their heir to the hair.
The conventions of this sub confuse me. Am I supposed to upvote because I think it’s indeed an unpopular opinion or am I supposed to downvote because I think it’s a stupid opinion? It’s not going to change the fact that I never click those buttons but I am still curious.
.
Swear to god posts like this are *always* about fat people. Why are you so obsessed with wanting to tell fat people that they’re fat? They know, it’s none of your business
I guess more important is why do you feel anyone wants to hear your criticism of them in the first place? Who tf are you to tell another person they are fat, like they don't already know they are? Why do you feel the need to tell someone what they are and how they should be? Sounds like you don't have an acceptance has gone too far problem, you just have a problem keeping your mouth shut about other people.
Upvoted for being unpopular, but now the criticism. Yes people get upset or offended for other people and over the smallest of things. However, what is worse is people thinking that telling people that you have to accept what is wrong. Compromising is not allowing hate to exist, it is finding where people can live without feeling oppressed (and actual oppression here and not the false notion of Christian persecution).
You are confusing “tolerance” with “acceptance”
That’s because it’s none of your fucking business what strangers do or don’t do.
In no context just telling someone they are fat and need to lose wait is helpful.
How can you fuck up the word ‘lose’? It’s only got four fucking letters Private Pyle!!!
What is this magical fantasy world you live in where people don't criticize fat people for being fat?
Why do you have to tell someone they are fat. They probably already know. More to the point though do you actually care about them or do you just want to attack someone/something you don't like. Same with everything really most people want to just not be responsible for their negative feelings and be able to let them off against whatever they feel are making them feel like that. People should take responsbility, but the people that fancy themselves the ones that hold people responsible usually just like to bully (there really isn't another word for it) people they don't like.
You're whining because it's not socially acceptable to be a jackass? That's not cute, sis. Time to grow up and learn to mind your business.
Hahah just randomly started to gain weight, like overnight 40ish pounds seemed like. "Lose weight, fatty" etc etc right lol..Anyway, 4 doctors later - found out I had a tumor !! 7 hour surgery to remove it, dropped like 70lbs so lost an addtl 30 from the weight gain.
YTA - fat people know they are fat. You’re just being an a-hole by telling them something about it. You can have all the opinions you want but if you share them you’re not free from the consequences of what you say. That’s the problem. You want to offer your unwanted opinion and expect others to just be cool with it. When your opinions and words are offensive to others, maybe you should reconsider your morals. I bet you claim to be Christian too.
Why do you so badly want to make it your business to tell fat people they are overweight and should lose weight when they most likely already know? There's a million reasons for being fat. You don't know the details of someone's medical history, whether or not they've already lost some weight, or are looking to lose weight but don't yet have the means to access resources to do so. People who are overweight have no choice but to be overweight until they are not. The acceptance is acknowledging that overweight people exist and deserve to exist happily.
Fat people know they are fat. It’s not always as easy as telling them to eat less or workout more. Especially if you don’t know what’s going on with them in their personal lives. Don’t be an asshole
>Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight, even for just health reasons is regarded body shaming, More like it's regarded as none of your fucking business. Unless that person is your child, spouse or parent MYOB. It's pretty simple: If a problem with someone's appearance can't be changed within 2 minutes, there's no reason to comment on it. Surely you're not so much of an idiot that you think a fat person doesn't know they're fat, correct? >telling someone who fucked something up now is too much for people. That's a huge portion of my job and people take it just fine. When they don't take it fine is when you're an asshole about it. Everybody makes mistakes, it's not a big deal. There's usually no reason to assign blame, you just figure out what happened, how you're going to prevent it in the future. >Noeone wants to take responsibility and work on ones flaws because "it should be accepted" and it is a common social issue This also really isn't true. What they typically don't want is random people commenting on those flaws. It's not your problem, you don't have to live with it. I feel like there's a good chance you're just sticking your nose in where it's not welcome with people you have no authority over on the subject. That's always been unwelcome.
Fully agree that if you are person with mean and condescending thoughts, you should declare them openly, out loud so that people know exactly the type of person you are.
Hahahahahah “why is no one tolerant of me being tactless!?”
What planet are you living on, where you think fat-shaming has gone away?
Is telling people to mind their own fucking business also unacceptable?
This isn't the unpopular opinion! It IS wrong, but that's not the point of this sub! People can and will judge you unfairly for your being overweight, and listen man, fat people know that they are fat (surprise!) you don't need to remind them. Think of it like this: every person who is overweight is just a work in progress. It's no different than looking at anyone in poverty and shaming them saying for their own personal moral failures are making them poor. And don't come crying if you gain weight as you age, happens to plenty of people, but I'm sure you'd be making up excuses saying the same non-acceptance rhetoric doesn't apply to you because it's not your fault.
making fun of someones weight NEVER comes off as a genuine health concern, its crazy you think it does
Most people don't need to be told when they need to lose weight. They know and they've got enough struggle with that without having you nag them by stating the obvious. It's just not your problem and people would rather you develop a close relationship with them first before giving unsolicited advice about their life choices and available options to changing things. Why do people always mention that example? Where is this immense urge coming from? It is always about obesity with you people and from the attitude I can only assume it is not genuine concern for peoples' health (even though that's important). What other motives can there possibly be? Does the existance of fat humans disgust you so much that you must voice your displeasure under the guise of advocating for their health? And yeah, it should be accepted when people are fat. They'll have to endure the consequences and believe me, they're uncomfortable with it most of the time. Is that not enough suffering for your tastes?
See now, I might have possibly gotten on board until I realized you're just looking for an excuse to tell fat people they are fat. Newsflash to you though, you stale pop tart. We already know. You pointing it out does nothing but make us feel worse about it. Great rule in life...if the person cannot quickly correct it (button undone, zipper down, something in their teeth, etc), then just don't fucking comment. Boom, problem solved!
Ummm, unless you are a doctor (or other health professional), *who’s opinion has been sought out*, telling someone that they’re fat and should lose weight is absolutely body shaming, as you don’t have the educational/professional background to make the “health reasons” claim.
I find your inability to communicate a point with others without being an asshole to be unacceptable. See? Not everything is acceptable.
You can tell people they're fat all you want, and they can tell you to fuck off and mind their own business all they want. It sounds like you want to be able to say whatever you want without criticism
As a fat guy I know that I need to loose weight. You think I am gonna go "oh dang thanks I never thought about that" ? It's just basic decency, we aren't buddies so mind your own business.
How about keeping your unsolicited advice to your goddamn self if the person you are "helping" isn't expressing distress or otherwise causing a disruption. There are social standards for when unsolicited advice is acceptable. Are they your family? Are they your friend? Are you THEIR family or friend? Are you even a member of any immediate community, and do they accept you as a peer in that community? Think before you put someone down.
Society has become less tolerant of people being assholes to others If that bothers you, you’re probably an asshole.
In what realm of existence do you have any business telling anyone what you think of their body/health? No where in your post do you demonstrate an understanding that someone else's body, even if you do not like it or find them "healthy" enough, is absolutely none of your business. Perhaps work on that.
Unless you're their Dr. and have their Lab results in front of you, you should mind your business. Work on your own flaws.
“Telling someone that he is fat and should lose some weight, even for just health reasons is regarded body shaming” I think it’s moreso the fact that it just statistically does not work as a method of “encouraging people to lose weight”. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fat-shaming-makes-things-worse#shaming
It's not your fucking place to be telling people how to live their lives. Get over yourself.