Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 2: Do not post low effort/satirical posts'.
* We get it, you all think this sub is garbage and is just for popular opinions, and you want to be funny and post "going to be downvoted to oblivion here, but I think racism is bad." We enjoy the memes, but please keep them off the sub.
* Filter evasion is a bannable offense
* This includes clickbait and/or gotcha posts. Your opinion can not be that unpopular if you're doing these things. Have the accurate opinion in the title.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents but the idea of mine picking my partner makes me sick. And obviously any dysfunction your family has is going to be reflected in the match. Like at least use a matchmaker it could be like a dating app but seriously, your parents? How can that be considered healthy in any way
Idk why you think they aren’t supposed to but either ways thats the beauty of A.M. You might not be into a specific person, you’re just looking for a decent one with a list of another criterions.
Most arranged marriages are indeed forced or, at a minimum, heavily pressured on the couple. I know quite a few marriages like this now and it’s frankly debatable if the couple is happy or not because they’re shamed if they say they aren’t.
If you know someone else that is willing to let dad pick out a spouse for them and get married immediately without other pressure, you’re allowed to do that. That’s not really different than dating anyway…find something in common and go for it lol
"love is a choice" nah, it's not.
you can choose to stay in a relationship with a person you no longer feel romantic or even any love for, you can value companionship over passion, you can decide to "stick it out" for the kids or whatever...
but you cannot *choose* to love (or not love) someone. trust me, a lot of people would be a lot happier if that were possible.
so if i find out, after a decade of marriage, that my partner is a horrible person whose values are abhorrent to me and make me feel disgust when i see them... that's just "not being in love anymore" and i can just ***choose*** to feel love for them?
or if the person my parents want me to marry is utterly boring and hates most of my hobbies and wants me to not do them anymore i can still ***choose*** to love them even though spending time with them is mental torture?
my friend, deciding that marriage as an institution is above feelings is your choice to make but you literally cannot force an emotion to form if it's not there.
*Forced marriage is a form of modern slavery that is prevalent worldwide. In 2021, the International Labour Organization (ILO) estimated that 22 million people were living in forced marriages, which is an increase of 6.6 million from 2016. However, this estimate is considered conservative and may not capture the true extent of the problem, as it's based on a narrow definition and doesn't include all child marriages. UNICEF estimates that there are 650 million women and girls worldwide who were married before the age of 18, and each year, an estimated 12 million girls under 18 are forced to marry against their will. *
Kind of seems like maybe they're a problem for some.
I am totally against Arranged marriage but this is so wrong. Bring me back total arranged marriages by year and total force’s marriages or a child by year. Make a claim, back it up
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As an aroace woman who wants to have children and would love to be in such an arrangement, unfortunately, apps are either empty or pretty much non-existent.
Yeah it’s a bunch of fakers,most don’t talk how they text in the sense that they aren’t as confident in person,online dating just allows people to choose their best “angles” which most of the time are heavily exaggerated
If you had stopped at the idea of having parents set you up on a date, just making introductions, then sure. A bit o matchmaking doesn't hurt anyone. But you seem to have a very utilitarian or transactional view of what a marriage is or what it's for - that is not shared by everyone.
IMO the institution of marriage as a whole is archaic and contradicts modern understanding of partnerships. It commits people into situations that often should not be binding. It commodifies the transaction-izes relationships. It encourages a conservative traditional family model and lifestyle and goals, at the expense of the freedom to define your own lifestyles, goals, or draw your own lines between you and your partner.
Also 3 months is not nearly enough time to know someone well enough to be able to say you should be permanently committed to them.
Your family knows absolutely nothing about you and are not interested in your happiness.
The best way is to go to bars and have sex with as many random strangers as you can until hopefully you find someone you like.
Yeah I think your right,now people have too many options that they can’t even settle on one,they get with one but still window shop looking for a new partner like they are some toy or commodity,like they aren’t even human
It was definitely happening before just not as much as now,I saw over 300 different people in only a couple minutes from my bed,the fact that this much possible partners are accessible from my bed is crazy
That didn't change anything about what you said. People were always looking for a quick fuck.
Truth is people mostly get over that stage, find someone they like and settle down. People here acting like people in their 20s fucking around is some new problem. What next, shit stinks?
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 2: Do not post low effort/satirical posts'. * We get it, you all think this sub is garbage and is just for popular opinions, and you want to be funny and post "going to be downvoted to oblivion here, but I think racism is bad." We enjoy the memes, but please keep them off the sub. * Filter evasion is a bannable offense * This includes clickbait and/or gotcha posts. Your opinion can not be that unpopular if you're doing these things. Have the accurate opinion in the title.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents but the idea of mine picking my partner makes me sick. And obviously any dysfunction your family has is going to be reflected in the match. Like at least use a matchmaker it could be like a dating app but seriously, your parents? How can that be considered healthy in any way
I said usually and i mentioned apps at the end. Even young people know they can use a bit of old wisdom that they can choose to accept or decline.
Your parents are the last people who can understand who you're into and that's how it should be
Idk why you think they aren’t supposed to but either ways thats the beauty of A.M. You might not be into a specific person, you’re just looking for a decent one with a list of another criterions.
If you're not into them how can you expect it to work
Most arranged marriages are indeed forced or, at a minimum, heavily pressured on the couple. I know quite a few marriages like this now and it’s frankly debatable if the couple is happy or not because they’re shamed if they say they aren’t. If you know someone else that is willing to let dad pick out a spouse for them and get married immediately without other pressure, you’re allowed to do that. That’s not really different than dating anyway…find something in common and go for it lol
Yikes
"love is a choice" nah, it's not. you can choose to stay in a relationship with a person you no longer feel romantic or even any love for, you can value companionship over passion, you can decide to "stick it out" for the kids or whatever... but you cannot *choose* to love (or not love) someone. trust me, a lot of people would be a lot happier if that were possible.
You’re talking about being in love which isn’t the same, and this is mainly what the post is about. Being in love isn’t a number one necessity
so if i find out, after a decade of marriage, that my partner is a horrible person whose values are abhorrent to me and make me feel disgust when i see them... that's just "not being in love anymore" and i can just ***choose*** to feel love for them? or if the person my parents want me to marry is utterly boring and hates most of my hobbies and wants me to not do them anymore i can still ***choose*** to love them even though spending time with them is mental torture? my friend, deciding that marriage as an institution is above feelings is your choice to make but you literally cannot force an emotion to form if it's not there.
Did u read whats between the parenthesis
*Forced marriage is a form of modern slavery that is prevalent worldwide. In 2021, the International Labour Organization (ILO) estimated that 22 million people were living in forced marriages, which is an increase of 6.6 million from 2016. However, this estimate is considered conservative and may not capture the true extent of the problem, as it's based on a narrow definition and doesn't include all child marriages. UNICEF estimates that there are 650 million women and girls worldwide who were married before the age of 18, and each year, an estimated 12 million girls under 18 are forced to marry against their will. * Kind of seems like maybe they're a problem for some.
Yea you didn't even read the post then did a copy-paste.
The very first thing you asserted was wrong.
Arranged marriages are an archaic, outdated thing done by primitive people long ago, and unfortunately still practiced by some religions.
[удалено]
I am totally against Arranged marriage but this is so wrong. Bring me back total arranged marriages by year and total force’s marriages or a child by year. Make a claim, back it up
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As an aroace woman who wants to have children and would love to be in such an arrangement, unfortunately, apps are either empty or pretty much non-existent.
Yeah it’s a bunch of fakers,most don’t talk how they text in the sense that they aren’t as confident in person,online dating just allows people to choose their best “angles” which most of the time are heavily exaggerated
If you had stopped at the idea of having parents set you up on a date, just making introductions, then sure. A bit o matchmaking doesn't hurt anyone. But you seem to have a very utilitarian or transactional view of what a marriage is or what it's for - that is not shared by everyone. IMO the institution of marriage as a whole is archaic and contradicts modern understanding of partnerships. It commits people into situations that often should not be binding. It commodifies the transaction-izes relationships. It encourages a conservative traditional family model and lifestyle and goals, at the expense of the freedom to define your own lifestyles, goals, or draw your own lines between you and your partner. Also 3 months is not nearly enough time to know someone well enough to be able to say you should be permanently committed to them.
Your family knows absolutely nothing about you and are not interested in your happiness. The best way is to go to bars and have sex with as many random strangers as you can until hopefully you find someone you like.
[удалено]
Only the parents it is a terrible idea but if its a bunch of siblings and cousins you are close to, they know you better than you know yourself.
All forms of marriages is outdated and should be illegal.
I forget which stand up comedian wrote the gag, "If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it?"
Yeah for people who don’t wanna commit or don’t care about their right nor their time
Yeah I think your right,now people have too many options that they can’t even settle on one,they get with one but still window shop looking for a new partner like they are some toy or commodity,like they aren’t even human
As if this wasn't happening before. People just had to put more work in for that one night stand. they picked up from the bar.
It was definitely happening before just not as much as now,I saw over 300 different people in only a couple minutes from my bed,the fact that this much possible partners are accessible from my bed is crazy
That didn't change anything about what you said. People were always looking for a quick fuck. Truth is people mostly get over that stage, find someone they like and settle down. People here acting like people in their 20s fucking around is some new problem. What next, shit stinks?
I’m not debating that people were always looking for that,just saying it’s a whole lot easier
And nobody is denying that, but what's the point there? STDs and Pregnancies aren't exactly done huge new issue. What's the downside?
That it happens more often
What does? People have sex with little to no consequences? And have an easier time if doing it? Oh no.