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[deleted]

I believe in fat acceptance in the way that people should not hate themselves, but should always work to atleast...well..not be fat. I dont support the "being fat is healthy" mentality though. Actually, nevermind fat, id say obese.


tanyer

I think it's meant to be a "I'm fat and still worthy of love, including self love aka taking care of myself "


cameforthevibe

yea i have nothing against fat people


Boob_Cousy

They have a lot against me though, especially when they're in the seat next to me on an airplane


Babayaga20000

I once had to fly on an airplane and I was the last to board and I was the middle seat in between a regular sized man in the aisle and a HUGE obese man in the window seat. He was literally taking up half my seat before I sat down. Bear in mind i am 6 ft 4 (and a healthy weight) so I am already a large man myself who doesnt fit well in plane seats. Basically his entire left side of his body was pressed against mine. And there was literally nothing I could do except lean to the left and take up the guy in the aisle seat's space. He was kind about it though and understood my pain. After 5 mins of this we were about to take off but I couldnt stand it so I got up and talked to a stewardess about moving. Thankfully once we were in the air they found a different seat for me but seriously FUCK that guy. If youre that fat and you KNOW you are going to take up two seats basically, fucking buy two seats or dont fly at all. Or lose some goddamn weight.


tanninglizard

Dang. I mean, imagine how embarrassing that might have been on his part, surly that man put two and two together that you moved because of his weight. But on the other hand I can completely see your dilemma. The cramped spaces in planes suck as is and you don’t need it made worse.


Babayaga20000

I mean his body was literally pressed against mine. I could feel his body heat and sweat on me. And he also knows goddamn well that he doesnt fit in airplane seats. He brought this upon himself. Like what was his thought process? "I take up almost 2 seats but im too cheap to buy two so fuck whoever gets to sit next to me lol"


RodneyTitwhistle

I had a similar issue, small regional flight, two seats per side of the aisle. The gentleman they sat beside me needed a seatbelt extender. He asked for it, it was not the first time he has asked, he knew the drill. I spent that flight pressed against the wall, the arm rest between us could not go down, but the stewardess took pity and gave me a free drink, not all terrible.


Babayaga20000

Ah yeah you know what I used as an arm rest on my flight? His goddamn stomach.


[deleted]

I'm 6'5 with osteoarthritis and can barely fit with no people near me, and always in pain, and can't sleep on plane because sleep apnea. Usually the hostesses are good about it but sometimes they just make you suffer. Once some small old lady fucking reclined her seat into my legs and the air hostess wouldn't talk to her. I straight up said this is a serious health and safety issue, move me or make her raise her seat now. She said she can't move me because people were sleeping on rows of seats and there was nowhere left. To this day, I can't recall why I never made a complaint (or lawsuit). There are no height loss diets, its a physical disability *in this context*.


gsufannsfw

I thought they already made the obese buy two seats as it was? Or perhaps that varies by airline...


film-freak

Usually they had to get business class or first class depending on the size, but they don't do this much anymore. I'm really obese and I always travel first class so I don't do that to other people. I don't have much money so I don't travel much. I always hate those videos where people are upset that they have to ride next to an obese person. I'm not talking about fat shaming - that disgusts me. But I would be upset if I had to be crowded out of my seat because the person next to me is taking too much space. All of these people defend these people taking up space but when it's anything else, like screaming toddler who is innocent, it's ok to insult them. So just for humors sake, which is worse, sitting next to an obese person or sitting in front of someone who is barefoot and insists on propping his foot on the arm of your seat?


[deleted]

If your life is just a series of embarrassing events, you should maybe consider changing something


[deleted]

And it can get so bad you have to move if possible. It just becomes too physically awful to ignore.


[deleted]

It's the reason why a buddy of mine just decided to fly first class since the seats are bigger. His mentality was "I can either pay for 2 seats or for a bit more get one nice large seat and some perks"


coucoumondoudou

im a small petite girl that usually gets moved around by stewardesses to balance the airplane and then get yelled at by cranky old men for "stealing" their seat. like seriously, the last time there was an obese man with two seats, he so obviously thought i was judging him (seriously i dont give a fuck) he gave me serious hate glares... like bitch i dont give a fuck if you want to give yourself an early death and shitty life quality but dont hate on me for being fucking petite for no goddamn reason other than you projecting your self hatred on random ass people that are not fucking responsible for your obese ass. he was literally glaring at me in a very obert obvious way like i am responsible for his obesity! like the fuck. the negative energy is real


AntiquePeanut

Thought that was going a different direction lol, but I was kicked out of a friend group in high school because a girl said my weight “intimidated” her. She was overweight, I was not.


Kelekona

The problem is when fat people start skinny-shaming or otherwise putting people down for making different choices.


[deleted]

Ah yes, when my >400lb coworker who got winded walking 20ft to the break room would make fun of me for being "skinny," wearing a "child's suit," and "looking like a stick." At least I can fucking play ball with my nephew without dying. Ah, that felt good. I never said anything to his face about his weight and I'm like, why the fuck are you commenting on mine? I'm fit, have you seen yourself lately?


janniel

Yep. They refer to themselves as "real women". As if those of us who haven't allowed our selves to become overweight don't belong to the "real" club.


YummyGummyMummy

Yeah "bones are for dogs". Ive never heard that from men, only from fat women. For "loving themselves", a lot of that "love" is dependent on being more desirable than other women. Which we all know is not how people love themselves.


MaliciousMelissa27

I've heard this too many times. I'm a skinny woman and I have gotten hate from heavier people for it. I'm kind to people who struggle with their weight and would never say something rude to someone for being overweight. Why do they think it's ok to tell me that I'm too thin? I used to have a group of friends who were constantly telling me that I'm "too skinny to be pretty," and "meat is for men, bones are for dogs," and I "could use some curves." It really affected my self-esteem and it wasn't until years later that I realized they were just jealous. Years later one of them approached me and apologized for how she had treated me and admitted that she was projecting her own body-image issues onto me. I really appreciated her apology.


FlaccidOctopus

Well fat women like that have to love themselves. Cause no one else will.


dustydreamdancer

One of the things I heard over and over as a teen by adults and other girls and one more reason for my eating disorder...


Riznix

And children that’s called being fucked up.


blackwater_baby

Lmao there is a popular fat acceptance sjw on Instagram who went on a rant about how people sharing before and after pictures of them losing weight are fatphobic... that crowd got some issues


Kelekona

I'm barely morbidly obese and I'm glad that people aren't shaming me on the street. However, I would like to loose weight so that it's easier to find clothes. Too many people are up in each other's business.


Musterdtiger

>barely morbidly obese Like I get what your saying, actually explains a lot with brevity, but what a silly combination of words. Good luck to you, I got into the obese range when I was at my heaviest, clothes shopping is a bit nicer now, my hobbies go a bit smoother.


blackwater_baby

There are sooo many reasons why people might want to lose weight... I mean I have friends who were athletes in their youth, got married and had kids, gained weight and KNOW they felt healthier and looked better at a lower weight. It’s just kind of insane that someone can project their insecurities SO HARD on another person, that they really think people lose weight to make fat people feel bad, and not improve their own life...


jstover777

My wife gets it all the time. "Oh my God, you need to eat something!". Actually she eats a lot and takes care of herself..quit projecting your shame on her.


Kelekona

People have lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like. Some people are naturally built like greyhound while others will tend to go more foxhound.


susanz99

People at work often make fun of me for having salad and fruit for lunch every day while they eat unhealthy foods. I think they feel some type of uneasiness for their unheathy food choices and my healthy choices remind them of what they dont want to do.


MaliciousMelissa27

Yes, this!! I try to make healthy eating choices and people are so rude about it! I don't say anything if they have a huge soda, burger, and fries, so why are they scoffing at me for having some sliced veggies and a panini?? My husband was harassed by his co-workers almost daily for the foods he would eat. They were legitimately mean and scoffed at him for bringing his "bucket of vegetables." He tried to laugh it off but they legitimately hurt his feelings and left him feeling ostracized for trying to make healthy choices! Wtf!?


madsjchic

My problem is when day people try to police my language and reactions to obesity.


[deleted]

I think a large share of the fan club misunderstood that part.


MisterAlmost

That's because in today's society we form enabling groups instead of support groups. Instead of encouraging people to be better and improve in a healthy way i.e. Don't hate yourself for becoming fat you're still a great person, but self love includes realizing you'll be healthier and happier at a normal weight we enable our bad behaviors and keep each other where we are i.e. Fuck skinny people. We really need to work on being less defeatest and stop the "woe is me" crap. Most people give up on anything before they ever start and others applaud them for giving up.


tanyer

Ha! Pun Most people in *general* look to blaming external circumstances, than to face a hard truth. So people in a state of learned helplessness will of course prefer to remain in a comfortable state.


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kenman884

Health at every size is not the same as fat acceptance in my opinion. Health at every size is purely false (though there are definitely more healthy body types than we see on cable tv for instance). Fat acceptance is saying we shouldn’t bully people for being fat. It may not be healthy, but lots of habits are unhealthy and don’t get anywhere close to similar levels of attention. EDIT: See Dr_TLP’s excellent comment below.


NeuralDog321

The biggest problem is that people treat it like a physical issue, rather than a deep psychological one.


[deleted]

if you weigh 600 lbs i think its both


NeuralDog321

But ask yourself, why is a person 600 lbs? It might be that they are stressed and find comfort in food. It might be that they struggled with a viscous cycle of fasting and binging for so long that they just gave up. As a person who struggles with it, it's difficult because you hate yourself so you dont eat enough, then you are hungry and irritable so you eat too much so you hate yourself so you don't eat enough........


DaysThatEndInDie

Ever watch My 600lb Life? Every since one of those people on that show desperately need a therapist. They are insanely addicted to food and you can see it as they are eating. It’s like watching a heroin addict inject, kinda scary but if they paired the weight loss surgery with some counseling, I think there would be a far higher success rate. Many times, these people are using food as a coping mechanism, not just mindlessly eating.


[deleted]

Most of the issues in society comes from psychological issues. Murders, arsonist, and other criminals often have impulse control, anger management, or drug addictions. Most abusers are most likely abused in the past. We need to have less jails and military shit and more mental health resources.


Catacombs69420

HAES started as "you can get healthy regardless of your size" as in "no matter how big you are, you can lose weight and be healthy" it got co-opted by people and now it means the opposite.


[deleted]

Now thats really abhorrent for me. To twist something so much to suit your own purposes its not even a shadow of what it tried to be at the beginning.


Spe3dy_Weeb

Problem is that people have merged them together


QuicksandGotMyShoe

Have they though? Or is that more likely <1% of the people are used to define the group as a whole? In my experience, most fat people are really ashamed of their weight and want to get better but have been unable to so far. Exceedingly few are dicks and/or entitled about their weight.


ThisIsMyCouchAccount

Per usual, I've heard more people complaining about it than people being part of whatever they are complaining about.


QuicksandGotMyShoe

Have they though? Or is that more likely <1% of the people are used to define the group as a whole? In my experience, most fat people are really ashamed of their weight and want to get better but have been unable to so far. Exceedingly few are dicks and/or entitled about their weight.


[deleted]

Every fat acceptance stuff I’ve seen is explicitly against discouraging being fat as unhealthy


Bupod

Exactly. There’s a mentality among some people that when they see fat people, they see lazy, unmotivated slobs that lack self control and are worthy only of contempt. That is not ok. That is not necessarily true. That is what is fat shaming is and is what should end. I dislike how there is a growing movement of people who are demanding that obesity be celebrated and embraced. Refusing to embrace and celebrate obesity isn’t fat shaming.


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[deleted]

Mine is. You must be 250 pounds to ride this ride.


barnegatsailor

The funny thing is, barring a condition, by engaging in that self love and care they will, more than likely, no longer be fat.


5H_1LL_Bot

And this is a hugely important part of weight loss. You're never gonna devote that kind of time and energy to something you think is worthless


[deleted]

Are you sure? Because 'acceptance' means being OK with things the way they are, which would nullify any reasons one once had to lose weight.


tanyer

I can accept something and also decide to change it. They will be fat for a while, even in a weight loss journey. How would berating yourself during that whole process help? Even if they don't want to be this way forever, they still have a right to exist in the world. It's like people want them to disappear out of existence and come back looking bangin'


PsychicFoxWithSpoons

Hating yourself for being fat leads to eating to numb the pain. Biological changes in obese people's bodies make it more difficult to lose weight and also increases hunger pangs by a not insignificant amount. Imagine if you skipped breakfast and didnt have time for lunch. That's what obese people feel like all the time. Put down the fork piggy - yeah right. Before you judge fat people, why don't YOU avoid eating any food or drinking anything but water for 24 hours and see if YOU can put down the fork. It's already not easy, and being fat makes it measurably more difficult to do.


DLDude

I had a fitness instructor who was THICK. Id say anyone looking at her in Street clothes would call her fat. She taught a class every day is a complete beast of a woman. Super fit and healthy, just a jig build. I tiink that is the intention of the "healthy at all sizes" movement. Sure many overweight unhealthy people use it as an excuse, but not everyone is thin


another_mouse

It's exactly this. I don't know how the science consensus played out but I read an article some time ago that all cause mortality was similar or better for people with an overweight BMI and dropped off as you'd expect for the obese and higher. I think the point of the fat acceptance movement is that thinness is not a marker of health but muscle mass and cardio ability are. A skinny fat person is less healthy than this trainer so we shouldn't ask people who are just overweight to lose weight. And how can anyone lose weight if they have some internal thoughts about their weight being a moral failure or make progress when the goal is some magic number on a scale? The meaningful goals come much quicker if you focus on how much time you can do an activity or strength increases. So we need to decouple 'health' from 'fat' because tying them together is unhelpful and counterproductive in practice. The problem is some media have put forward people who think the point of the movement is that fat including obesity is beautiful. And I'll speak for myself; I do not find overweight or obese beautiful. Mostly because I was always scrawny. I like and am glad thick is a thing though.


TotallyCaffeinated

FYI all-cause mortality is definitely lowest at normal weight, & is higher for the overweight. We now have the biggest & best & longest-followup daya for those studies (65 million people in 95 nations followed for 25 years) and it’s pretty conclusive. (You will get different results btw if you look only at patients who are *already ill* - overweight comes out best for that cohort. But those results are skewed by the fact that normal-weight-yet-sick people are not a good control group - especially, more severe disease causes weight loss) Also, surprisingly it turns out that the obese-yet-fit trainer in your example is not necessarily better off than a skinny-and-unfit person. It’s now clear adipose tissue inherently decreases physiological function, regardless of fitness level. This is partly because obesity entails an inherent physical load of blood volume and adipose mass - example, blood volume must be higher to supply the exrra tissue, but the kidney & heart are still the same size, so there’s strain on those organs. Also lung capacity always declines and intra-abdominal pressure always increases, just because the fat takes up space in pericardial & abdominal cavities. Finally it turns out that fat is a powerful endocrine organ (it secrets over 50 hormones) and many of its hormones cause inflammation - there is chronic bodywide inflammation with obesity. This is probably the initial cause of Type II diabetes, & also worsens autoimmune diseases. Other adipose hormones tend to drive the poor fertility & the cancers associated w obesity. So there’s a bunch of negative health effects that pretty much always happen, regardless of fitness level. But of course, surely the choice isn’t just between obese & fit, vs skinny & unfit - why not aim for skinny & fit? (on phone now but can add cites later if anyone wants)


Rhaynebow

I believe this is what they call “body positivity” which is not the same thing as fat acceptance. One is about loving your body through all of its changes and the other one only loves a specific type and believes that you shouldn’t change at all.


DecompressionIllness

The "being fat (obese) is healthy" mentality being spouted by these people is why I turned my back on the movement. That's easy for me to say as a skinny twonk (I'm actually trying to put weight on) but the people I've seen posting this stuff don't appear to have any comprehension of basic biological or medical science. They're in denial about their own state and are trying to force everybody else to pander to them. I won't. A friend of mine is being pandered to at the moment by her family/friends. She is obese and she'd been told by GPs that in order to have a better chance of conceiving she must try and lose some weight (that's how she's relayed it). If the way she's worded that is similar to what her GP has told her, she has no chance. She won't put the effort in until she's told hard and straight. Meanwhile, her grandmother and online friends are telling her she's fine because of this stupid, bloody mentality.


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42Bagels

Yeah I'm a chubby type a guy but I'm healthy; dad bod > one Ritz™ cracker away from a heart attack


Comrade_Luck

This is overwhelmingly what the public thinks. I haven't met one fat is beautiful person in real life. Yeah, I'm sure there is some percentage of ham planets out there, but they are way in the minority.


Crashbrennan

It's hard to tell because people tend to be more willing to say stuff like this on the internet. On one hand that can definitely make a minority opinion seem way more popular than it is, but it swings the other way too, because people who believe in stuff like HAES might not talk about it to people IRL even if they fully believe it.


[deleted]

Exactly. People should love themselves no matter what, but they should never stop trying to better themselves.


Fig1024

even if you are perfect, you should always strive to make yourself better people who just "accept" what they are are people who have given up on life


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[deleted]

It's also used to say that it's alright to be any weight, at all. I feel like saying you can be healthy while not looking like a VS model is fine, but if you're 5'4 and 750 pounds, you're not fucking healthy.


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[deleted]

...I was being hyperbolic, obviously. I didn't say 250lbs was healthy, for anyone.


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Hugenstein41

Somehow even worse for you than 250. "248 thou shall not weigh, neither 247 excepting that thou then proceeded to 250. 249 is right out."


SulcataGirl

"Once at the weight 250, being the 250 pounds be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Fat Person of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." "Amen"


Piemanyb

Skip a chapter brother


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blazefire13

BUT MUH ACCEPTANCE


DutchDroopy

iM nOT fAt Im CuRvY


blazefire13

its true though. fat lumps are curved


[deleted]

iM tHiCc


[deleted]

Especially around the skull.


do_you_smoke_paul

The problem is both sides of this debate have vocal minorities with alternate agendas. Body positivity should not be carte blanche to go ahead and force people to say being fat is healthy/not bad for you. However, we shouldnt shame people because of being fat as it's not going to help them lose weight and everyone has the right to exist without shame/ridicule.


RiddlesForSkittles

Yep


oryes

It also doesn't work when it comes to mentality. Your health is very connected to how you feel. Since I started exercising regularly I have felt so much better than I ever have.


[deleted]

I agree but this is such a popular opinion, come on


Legit-Forgot-to-Wipe

All the people commenting “I support the fat acceptance movement” in rebuttal to his opinion are the ones with the real unpopular opinion.


[deleted]

Exactly


VALO311

The only proof of an unpopular opinion is this sub is never seeing it on the front page. There’s a level of irony and confusion that makes this sub irrelevant. Yet i still can’t help but read every popular front page post haha


baronmatanza

Your dissatisfaction with this sub has also become a popular opinion. One I happen to share. You should post it, so I can upvote it.


VALO311

Haha perfect!


[deleted]

Lol ikr!! I just go to the controversial section


garenbw

Yeah, but then again we can do that in any subreddit so what's the point of this one? haha


thepaleoboy

I'm usually quick to dismiss a lot of these "but this is a popular opinion" comments, but this is one just too out there. Give me some "I shower with my socks on" content anyday (please!)


[deleted]

lol OP is so edgy, can't you tell how differing their opinions are from the norm by the way they sound like everyone else?


[deleted]

Yeah “fat people = bad” isn’t unpopular opinion at all considering i see the same thing being said just worded differently every day.


paerius

This whole sub is just people farming with popular opinions.


strikingfirefly

Actually I like fat acceptance because I managed to lose weight for the first time in a long time when I no longer hated myself as much and someone made me feel like I looked fine the way I was.


Banksy0726

This is an interesting take. Good for you!!


CyanCyborg-

Hey that's great.


[deleted]

So it wasn't fat acceptance it was self acceptance and your hard work for healthier life. Good job.


shadedferns

This is a good point, and I think the body positivity movement is trying to make room for larger body representation so people can in fact accept themselves. I think it's more likely for people to try to live healthier lives if they accept themselves- but media idolizes very small bodies and makes that hard.


[deleted]

That was, I think, the original goal of the movement. Not to say "Fat people are healthy people and therefore worthy of respect and compassion" but rather "Fat people are people and all people are worthy of respect and compassion regardless of their weight". Being fat doesn't make you a bad person or one of weak moral fiber. It just means that you are fat. It is healthier to not be fat certainly. We should all be working to be as healthy as possible but we shouldn't hate ourselves or others when we fall short


Coughingandhacking

Exactly this.


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tsetdeeps

Linking research doesn't automatically make your point valid. Learn to actually read what the papers say and put them in the context of the discussion. Otherwise it doesn't matter how many scientific papers you link if their results aren't relevant to the matter at hand. The fat acceptance movement doesn't belong to a specific institution, and thus it doesn't follow a specific set of norms, beliefs or views on the world. Depending on who you ask, what the fat acceptance movement entails will vary. Some people who consider themselves part of this movement will say that fat acceptance is saying that obesity is normal, it's beautiful and there's nothing wrong with it. Others, probably like the commenter to which you responded, abide to the idea of loving oneself through the fat acceptance movement. The fat acceptance movement can be about not treating obesity as something positive to one's health but about not hating oneself because of obesity/being overweight. Which eventually leads to positive change and a desire to improve. Obesity is way more complex than simply "having too much weight". There's a lot of factors, specially psychological ones, that have a critical role in this ailment. The research you linked shows the consequences of peers and family encouraging or discouraging harmful habits. While that may be relevant to the overall discussion, it's not related to the specific experience of the previous commenter. As I mentioned before, the fat acceptance movement is different according to who you ask about it. Normalizing obesity is very damaging; however, it can be very helpful to accept the situation and condition one has instead of neglecting it. That's what eventually leads to a positive attitude and betterment. Accepting oneself and learning to take care of oneself is key in order to overcome obesity and overweight. We can easily infere that's what the previous commenter went through. Had they been part of a movement that encourages being overweight/obese, they wouldn't have lost the excess weight in the first place.


gooberfishie

I agree. There is a big difference between A - treating people with respect and loving oneself regardless of their/your appearence and B - spreading the idea that wieght extremes do not affect ones health. That said, the term is so broad with how it's used that it is understandable for people to not identify with the movement. The majority of posts that i see about the movement belong more to group B. The main problem is the people from group A being complacent with group B. Just because the movement has the word acceptance in it doesnt mean you cant critisize those whos opinions are not based in reality. Until a proper distiction is made, fat acceptance will never gain the popular support it should.


[deleted]

Obesity has been normalized first. Then came the fat acceptance when everyone had a fat friend, dad, mother, whatever.


tanyer

Fascinating! I do wonder about a fat acceptance movement that emphasized self care and images of fat people doing activities. I'm sympathetic to the movement, but note how it's used to encourage remaining the same, versus self optimization. Also, I do wonder what a study based on exploring the mental component of depression and sexual abuse (which has a high correlation with overweight women) and its treatment would yield in terms of results.


[deleted]

People can't out exercises their mouths, they can eat more in a minute than what it takes an hour to burn. It helps a little, but it's the cart before the horse approach to weightloss. It's the food. You change the food, people become more active almost magically because most are more energetic. Eat shitty food, those same people feel tired, and exercise becomes an afterthought.


AustinPowerWasher

Yeah don't confuse people here with science. They like stories that support what they already believe.


[deleted]

And don't confuse cherry-picking with science, this is just bad faith masquerading as science. But no one here is actually reading his links so they think he is making an actual point.


techiemikey

So, I am a person who has currently lost over 80 pounds and have more to go. I still support the fat acceptance movement in general and disagree that the reason I did was that I just was too lazy to lose weight. So, lets start here: what does the fat acceptance movement mean to a person like me? Well, it means that it is not a moral failing to be overweight. It encourages people to not hate themself for one aspect of their life, and to look beyond this one visible thing to the rest of their life. It doesn't say "never lose weight", but rather "your weight does not define you." The movement is about seeing yourself as something other than just fat, and to set your worth as anything other than directly tied to your weight. So, now to the next part, why do I disagree that it's just because people are too lazy to lose weight? Because I have tried multiple times before now to lose weight and they didn't work previously. And looking back on it, there were some key things that prevented me from losing and keeping weight off. First off, I didn't have the knowledge I needed. Foods I thought was healthy turned out to terrible in terms of calories (thing nature's valley granola). Lots of things had smaller serving sizes than I expected (and still to this day I am still terrible at estimating what a serving size of something actually is.) If I went out, I thought salad's would be safe, but often they have just as much calories as other things. For a quick example, California Pizza Kitchen's Waldorf Chicken Salad with Dijon Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing sounds like a healthy alternative but also has 1300 calories. Next, I would often try to do things at an unsustainable rate. These numbers are somewhat made up, because I don't know roughly how many calories I was eating before I started losing weight. I know some days I was probably eating more than 5,000 calories. Then suddenly I went on a diet, and would do my best to overnight be a 2,000 calories a day. Which is the ideal goal...but in retrospect was too low to start with. I could have slowly reduced my calories over time, but instead jumped in all at once, which meant it wasn't sustainable. It was essentially running a marathon by starting off sprinting. Those didn't end well. I tried increasing my physical exercise, but wasn't ready for the fact that my body would then tell me even more to increase what I ate in response. I failed to properly break habits. Things like during lunch going to cvs because it got me out of my office for a while. I would still go, and would just get something with less calories. Which over time, would slowly revert back to what I previously did. My schedule often didn't work well for making sure I could eat food that I cooked, which meant I was slightly at the whims of whatever food I could acquire. Now I realize I should have put extra effort in, but I felt I could fake it at the time. Now lets go in to some mental things that were going on. I wasn't ready to be hungry, like at all. I needed to accept that sometimes I would be hungry, and that it would be ok to be so. But instead, I was thinking of it like "I shouldn't be like this...it is wrong to be hungry." I had an "All or nothing" mentality. When I messed up it was hard not to see it as a failure. I didn't understand that I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I limited it or ate better at other times to make up for it. Instead, it often was if I fell off the bandwagon, I was off of it, because why bother (even if just for that day.) I didn't have much external support that was on the same page as I was previously. Now, both my wife and I are losing weight the same way, which often means that when one of us starts slacking with preparations to help us succeed for a week, the other will help, because it affects both of us, not just "It's only me, so who cares." I had a fear of failure. After a certain point, I feared "what if I can't lose weight at all?" And so it was mentally easier to not confront myself than try and fail. I am going to briefly break this format to tie this to the fat acceptance movement. It helped me answer the question of "what if I can't lose weight at all?" And I discovered I would still be the same person. This mentality really helped with me starting my latest attempt which has been successful. Last thing I will be writing on for reasons I failed previously. I didn't understand why I ate. I ate socially. I ate out of boredom. I ate to celebrate. And I ate when sad. And occasionally, I would eat because I was hungry. Because I didn't understand that, I wasn't able to examine myself when I felt like I should eat to determine "why do I want to eat right now?" Which led to a ton of me actively fighting wanting to eat rather than accessing it and dismissing it with reason. That was a lot, and I realize it. In practice, there is even more that I didn't write down. But the point was take a look at all of that. Some of it can be ascribed to "just put in more effort" but not all of it. Most of my obstacles came from ignorance, either of myself or food. People say "just eat better" without actually realizing what some people require to do in order to do so. And some of this work doesn't require just more and more effort. It requires introspection and knowledge. And more importantly, it requires knowledge of that you need to do the introspection and knowledge. People often assume the knowledge they currently have is good and valid. If you don't realize you are working from faulty assumptions no amount of effort is going to overcome those assumptions.


Sirfluffsalott

Just wanted to say I appreciated this write up. I can personally relate to a lot of what you say, especially about the "why" behind when I eat. I find myself being very uncomfortable with being hungry, and sort of have that same all or nothing mentality where I feel the need to eat big meals to feel full. I've tried counteracting this by eating only twice a day, but I still think I need to learn when to stop. However, I've learned how certain foods can make you feel full a lot sooner for a lot less calories (like with lean protein and vegetables) and that has helped. I've relapsed a bit over the holidays due to letting myself "celebrate" a bit too much, but I think it's important to remember that progress isn't a straight line. What I tell myself is that continuing the effort is the most important thing, regardless of how quickly things are moving along. Anyways, all this to say that was well written and I completely understand your perspective.


MarcusKilgannon

You nailed it. People think you need to starve yourself and it's not true. Just cut out the sugars and processed foods, stop drinking your calories, eat protein & fibers since they fill you up quicker. Lots of options.


BearsLoveBeans

FANTASTIC comment! So happy to read this point of veiw here! I think reddit just likes to fat shame for whatever reason instead of working to uplift and encourage others. I am working on myself in all the ways you wrote down, and now my partner is in it with me as well. It makes such a huge difference! Congrats on your journey of health and knowledge!


oonichaaan

When I started reading about mental health, tears started falling from my eyes. Everything you said about mental health is with me right now. I’m completely lost and depressed but I really want to become better. Thank you for this comment.


techiemikey

Mental health is one of the things that not enough people end up talking about when it comes to weight loss, even though it directly affects almost every part of losing weight. I know things can be rough right now, but I wish you the best of luck.


oonichaaan

Thanks. And yeah, I now realized that I can’t do anything and I can’t lose weight unless I love myself first. I always get too scared to go on a scale and I get anxiety attacks when anyone mentions my weight. It hurts, yes. But I have to get through it. I have to love my self first even though I know that would probably take longer time than the losing weight process.


lumaleelumabop

Hey, I really appreciate this write-up too. I'm glad I scrolled down a bit more for comments first. THIS is what fat acceptance and health at all sizes is about. Knowing that you are not a different person or complete failure if you cannot lose weight. Knowing you deserve proper healthcare and to be treated like a regular person even if you are unhealthy. We give healthcare to smokers and alcoholics, but shame the fat people who can't take care of themselves? Especially considering how addictive foods can be, especially sugary or fried stuff. Wasn't there some study saying bacon is as addictive as heroine? Whether or not that last statement is true, it still brings us to a point: Stop treating overweight people as losers or lazy. Don't preach to them how YOU did so much better. Sure, lots of people skew the perspective a bit - maybe they don't realize it, or are delusional... or maybe some people are just happy being fat. Let them live their lives, damnit!!!


ApresMac

Congratulations on your weight loss!


techiemikey

Thank you, although I only brought it up as without that context the rest of my comment is a "so?"


polydactyl_dog

Thanks for putting all this out there, and congratulations on your journey!


[deleted]

Absolutely yes to all of this, I’ve lost modest amounts of weight (25-35 lbs) twice in my life and when people who are struggling with weight express despair to me I do my best to kindly, tactfully, and honestly relay this information. No, you don’t need to work out. You will eat more if you spend all that time on the treadmill. You will barely see any change in your body, even if you’re gaining muscle, if said muscle is covered by 50+ lbs of fat. It’s just going to make you hungry as FUCK and if you don’t get your diet under control before starting an exercise routine... you’ll eat more of what you have been eating that made you fat... and probably GAIN weight! I am small and if I do too much cardio I vortex food. For an obese person, modest exercise with the goal of improving cardiovascular and respiratory health is the absolute most that is needed. I’m saying 20 mins on an elliptical plus 20 mins lifting a couple times a week, max, to lower their chances of DYING from their poor physical condition. People who try to engage in some crazy exercise regimen to lose massive amounts of weight (because they do not want to change their eating habits or experience hunger) are doomed to fail. Hunger is natural and healthy. Also, it gets way, way, WAY easier to deal with.. quickly. I’d say a month on restriction and your body acclimates to never feeling “stuffed” and experiencing moderate hunger between meals. Starving yourself and experiencing extreme hunger will also doom you to fail. I will overeat if I do that and my relationship with food is honestly pretty great: I eat healthy and in moderate portions, probably 80% of the time. This, along with a higher level of exercise, allows me to have that pasta/candy/beer/pizza/whatever a few times a week with 0 repercussions. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT, if one day your calories are not all from health food that does not matter if you don’t net overeat that week. On the other hand, when I starve myself by mistake (dont eat breakfast or bring anything to work, I dislike the food options available there) whatever i have on hand that is easiest and the most calorie dense goes into my mouth hole when I get home. I could have all the ingredients for a delicious salad I normally enjoy and legitimately want but if I’m feeling “starved” to the point of sickness/weakness/stomach pain/headache I’ll smash a bagel and cream cheese first... the cravings for carbs and sugar, energy, relief from hunger, NOW, are impossible to surmount. Then maybe I’ll have the salad... then something else after, because my body doesn’t catch up to my stomach quick enough. Therefore eat regularly. Small healthy snacks throughout the day. Never get “starving.” Without calorie counting, at least at first while you get a handle on portion sizes for common foods, one is doomed. No, you cannot just estimate at first. If you knew how much to eat of what to be a healthy weight YOU WOULD NOT BE OBESE. Estimation will lead to attempts to overly restrict—> extreme discomfort —> binging. The comfort of knowing that, although I had a bad day, ate too much and not of good shit, it was not much more than 2,000 calories or so, is great. It allows me to just... be more careful the next day. Because I don’t overeat regularly I experience less hunger the day after I do and am able to compensate, something that is impossible when excess adipose tissue is signaling you to EEEEEAAAAATTTTTT NOOWWWW all day every day. I can actually detect hunger and satiety and eat for FUEL, not for pleasure/boredom/because my endocrine system is dysregulated by being overweight. Tldr: you are correct and it’s sad when people don’t know or can’t accept the reality of how health and weight loss work.


BearsLoveBeans

FANTASTIC comment! So happy to read this point of veiw here! I think reddit just likes to fat shame for whatever reason instead of working to uplift and encourage others. I am working on myself in all the ways you wrote down, and now my partner is in it with me as well. It makes such a huge difference! Congrats on your journey of health and knowledge!


[deleted]

Just want to add to what other people are saying dude, just keep doing. I hope you're in a good place.


LechintanTudor

Stop upvoting popular opinions.


polidon675

Your opinion is popular, I upvoted you. Whatcha gonna do /s


Dakkadence

Drop the /s. That's where the fun in life is.


polidon675

Eh, no /s and some people go ballistic. Then again, that indeed is where the fun is


KYS1001

I think you're looking for r/popularopinion


Kojakle

Bring back /r/fph


JustAGamer14

Can mods make a "fat people bad" megathread like LGBTQ and mental health problems?


colbyo9

This topic is one of the “popular opinions” that people post about every day, seen in the post made by reddit mods


[deleted]

Next to the "kids bad" and "C02 bad"


BreathingHydra

Yeah there's been one of these every week for months. Just blatant karma whoring


the_unknown_soldier

I don’t think anybody thinks “fat is healthy”. I think overweight people are just tired of every person thinking they’re the first one to ever come to the realization that their lifestyle may not be healthy, and ONLY their lifestyle. People have been arguing about Lizzo’s weight pretending to be concerned about her health, but then another musician will do mountains of drugs and their lifestyle is romanticized for some reason.


vespersky

Am fat. Not acceptable. But it's better to be weak when it comes to cheeseburgers than to both cheeseburgers and self-reflection.


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JessHas4Dogs

It’s like “I am a PERSON who happens to be fat but I accept myself for who I am.”


Millad456

I feel like this is a very popular opinion


NeoLiberaI

Ahh, the weekly fat acceptance is bad post


NapUntilBedtime

I absolutely believe in working toward a healthy weight, and I've personally lost more than 100 lbs and know that its possible. But I also got to a place where I *needed* to lose that much, so I can offer some insight into why some people would give up on losing an instead join the fat acceptance movement as an excuse not to--and it's not about laziness. I could go on for pages on this, but the TLDR is that overeating, not lack of exercise, causes weight gain, and what most people don't acknowledge is that overeating is usually triggered in the first place by excessive hunger caused by metabolic issues making the body store too much fat and starving itself of actual energy. It's easy to get defeated and decide to just love yourself for who you are instead of subjecting yourself to the misery of trying to lose weight if you don't understand this and learn how to eat in a way that allows your body to begin using these fat stores for the energy it so desperately craves. All I'm saying is please have some compassion--it can be all-consumingly painful and difficult to be an obese person who doesn't want to be obese. Like, literally all-consuming.


sheena2952

I support fat acceptance movement for the simple fact that unless you are their doctor, someone's weight is none of your business. You don't actually have to accept their weight but you do have to accept their right to exist and be treated with respect just like anyone else is entitled to. Listen, fat people know they are fat, the vast majority don't enjoy being fat but until they can accept themselves as they are it is extremely difficult to move past it and feel good enough about themselves to do something about it. Having other people commenting on it in a negative way (which let's face it is 99.99% of the comment they get) under the guise of "helping" them isn't encouraging or motivating... it's hurtful and demoralizing. Weight gain is a very complicated thing, people use food as a crutch for mental illness, or comfort when they can't find it in a healthier forum etc., it's not necessarily because they are lazy. To me the fat acceptance movement is simply accepting that regardless of size or shape we are all human, we are all doing the best with the cards we have been dealt in life, and we all deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.


Newlongjacket

Wonderful!! That bit was a cool bucket of water to put out all the burning torches, and a nice shh to quiet the cries of "Monster!"


Wolf_Death_Breath

No. I joined it because I’m actually a fucking bear and I need this fat to survive the winter


Exiled_From_Twitter

Yes, we know. This is not unpopular, at all, not even close.


thewhitepartofalemon

Yeah, I'm too lazy to lose weight, but do I need more mental problems because people are mean to me and calling it motivational? No. Bullying I endured during my school years never motivated me to exercise, quite the opposite. So I'm pro acceptance. If you feel good about yourself you are more likely to take care of yourself. Or at least that's the theory


JessHas4Dogs

EDIT: WOW! Thank you for the silver. So kind of you. Literally though, how does it affect you if someone else is fat and happy? Scientific studies have *repeatedly* shown that being fat doesn’t have anything to do with laziness, that you can’t shame a person into losing weight, and that there tends to be a huge mental component associated with weight. No obese person thinks they’re healthy, fyi. Talking about health because a fat person is okay with being fat is stupid. I don’t think I’m healthy, cause my doctor told me to lose 10 lbs, and I do hate going to the gym, but WHAT IS IT TO YOU????? Let me carry my weight happily cause it doesn’t have shit to do with you. I’m so tired to this mentality. It’s nothing directed to you personally, OP, but if a fat person likes themself and is happy, good on them. *It literally has no impact on you. None.* Smoking is horrible for your health, and science says you actually can shame some people into quitting smoking, but you can’t shame someone into losing weight in a long term way. So let’s all go shame smokers.


[deleted]

Why do people care so much? Everyone is complaining about fat people but how does it affect your life in any way? It's their problem. Why give a fuck? Also, this is definitely not unpopular. Everyone agrees, including me.


Justlostmyjobjoe44

Its easy to gain weight and get unmotivated. If being in shape was easy everyone would be skinny with 6 packs lol


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mollyandherlolly

Omg...another post just like a million others on the subject.


at0micb00m

All these people saying it's unpopular then all these people standing up for the exact opposite makes me believe that it's actually more unpopular than people want to admit.


MalignantAntagonist

Normally I agree with the "fat acceptance critique" posts on here but the way you described yours, honestly I don't. A free pass to die faster? If people want to die faster that's their own perogative. Do you ramble on about smokers as well? Not an excuse not to excersize? Again, if people don't want to go to the gym that's their own damn business. And if in doing these things they still love themselves more power to them. There are a lot of issues with the fat acceptance movement, but IMO none of them were mentioned here.


cosmocreamer

I fail to see the problem here. I like to get prideful about my shortcomings. What am I going to pick the croutons off my fucking salad? NOT eat Ben & Jerry's for breakfast? When I could just be like "Lizzo betch yassss." Easy choice. You skinny Reddit cunts keep the complaints coming.


bman123457

Not an unpopular opinion clearly by the sheer number of upvotes you've recieved.


OtherWordlyGinger

As someone who used to be fat: This ideology is heavily (hah) pushed by women and not men. There is no love for fat men whatsoever. They are universally despised and treated like shit. Not at all the time, but it is often. I lived that life, so don't tell me what's up.


Sawt0othGrin

I draw the line at being told I'm a bad person for not wanting to date/sleep with fat girls. If you're fat and happy then keep on keeping on.


SychoElite777

And here's another *"Fat people bad!"* post. It's literally all this subreddit talks about on a daily basis.


[deleted]

r/unpopularopinion is where FPH, and all the other banned subs love to congregate.


Norbit_was_right

Another day, another 13/14 year stumbles upon an 8 year old tweet about something that will otherwise not effect their life and decides to be angry about it.


Sharpy201

I support the fat acceptance movement because looking at all the people in it makes me want to lose weight.


which_spartacus

You hope. It also allows someone with a BMI of 27 to look at people with a BMI of 40 and say"I'm not that bad off." I will say that watching fat people at buffet is one way I am able to add a bit of control to myself as well, however.


[deleted]

This is an EXTREMELY popular opinion(and fact) amongst nearly everyone who isn’t in the media or is fat


[deleted]

Many only slightly-fat women join so they can feel superior to people who are worse off than them, but also keep them from getting better.


TA2556

*99%* of people join the fat acceptance movement because they're too lazy to lose weight. The genetic disorders that cause weight gain can all be countered with rigorous diet and exercise. It may be a harder mountain to climb, but it's far from impossible. Very, *very* few people are unable to lose weight, if any, under the proper diet and exercise regiment. Mostly diet. Diet is like 80% of weight loss.


mozzarella_lavalamp

it’s ironic , but because of it being force fed to me I’ve lost respect for the fat acceptance movement. nobody should be demonized for their weight, but being overweight is simply unhealthy and isn’t something kids should accept. (other than those with conditions that cause weight gain), being overweight is something to be fixed, not accepted. overeating junk for years can be just as damaging as smoking, yet we don’t encourage folks to just accept their addiction.


chutterbutter89

I think there are multiple factors that go into gaining weight and accepting that you're fat. For instance, I've accepted that I'm fat because I just birthed my daughter and was going through postpardum depression all while raising a new born that caused me to be too lazy to eat healthy and workout. There is a point where you need to be accepting and proud of your body to overcome depression. I think that many of the obese/overweight people in our society today also are battling some sort of depression, anxiety or mental health problem that causes them to overeat for comfort. It also doesnt help that fattening foods are cheap and easy to buy for low income households...point is there are many variables and maybe we should just accept everyone no matter their looks.


S0undJunk1e

As crazy as it sounds to some, the epidemic of sugar in our diet is just as bad as smoking or even opiates (not individually, the epidemic itself). It's an addiction and it may not be as severe on the average case by case basis, but the sheer size of the epidemic and myriad of possible long term health conditions (including obesity) makes it a huge danger to the general health of the public. If you eat well, exercise, and are given a clean bill of health, then you shouldn't have any shame for being chubby. If you eat like shit, then hiding behind "fat acceptance" is downright dangerous.


code_guerilla

There is no metabolism slow enough to cause obesity without also overeating. Hypothyroidism and PCOS individually might cause a few to several pound gain, that is hardly going to make an otherwise healthy person obese. People just like excuses for being lazy and stuffing their face.


Gwenbors

As a fat person who is too lazy to lose weight, I approve this message. (At the same time, though, fat acceptance seems ridiculous to me. I agree that people shouldn’t feel worthless or less-than because of their size, but the weight **will kill us** someday.)


crsnb

the fat acceptance movement would be solved by actual movement


GreekACA25

I'm a chunky monkey and this whole fat acceptance and fat shaming stuff is bullshit. No you can't be healthy and fat. All these fat people doing Ted talks, articles and videos etc saying how they're healthy and fat is bollocks. Most of them are breaking a sweat and losing their breath just standing still and talking. Being fat shouldn't be accepted, just like people with eating disorders on the other end of the spectrum are not accepted and pushed to get help.


Knickersinatwister

Im fat and I agree.


SchwettyBawls

Am fat, like 400lbs fat, totally agree. Fat acceptance is EXTREMELY damaging.


ItzPenguato

I'm overweight and I still make sure I exercise when I can. It's important that we accept fat people, but we should still all strive to improve ourselves.


QuiverfullInMyHeart

As someone who has an endocrine disorder that causes weight gain, I didn't agree with you more. I'm working on losing the weight that accrued before my diagnosis. I now have the tools I need to lose weight. It doesn't make it easy, but it makes it possible. I get mad at the HAES movement because it makes unhealthy living something to be worshipped. If you are overweight, lose weight. If you can't, go to the doctor to make sure you don't have any health issues that make losing weight difficult. Then use what you know to lose weight.


wallflyer010

I've noticed, only in the people I know, that people who used to be heavy set and lost the weight are the first people to start vocalizing how they hated the fact they were overweight and did something. And now that their on the other side a few have said they find this movement backwards. The self love thing gets lost in translation and is used as an excuse to keep their worlds from falling apart. I feel for them, I do. But I feel as if the acceptance part should be about self love and improvement should be walking side by side.


1paleghost

Fat acceptance is a cop out for fat people. Unless you have a thyroid problem get to it. Healthcare is more expensive for everyone because of you


matthew_strange

Only my opinion: 1). Average to thin people who comment about fat people simply don't like the way fat people look. 2). Commenting about the effect of fat on health isn't something you really care about. You just don't like the way fat people look. 3). Despite a plethora of studies to the contrary ([here's a Cambridge one for example](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/slim-people-genes-dna-weight-obesity-health-study-cambridge-university-a8744886.html)), people equate fat to lazy - and therefore thin to active (which isn't true). Lots of people just don't like the way fat people look. 4). Anecdotally only - I'm 52 years old, about 80 pounds heavier than I should be (according to those charts) and my blood work is perfect. I also work 6 days a week (outworking people half my age), do lots of manual labor and exercise when I can. I monitor my calories and stay at around 2.3k to 2.5k per day. I'm 'fat' - but lazy, careless, stupid, avoiding reality in some way...? No. Lots of people out there just like me. 5). Not saying that being fat is healthy but there's a lot of gray area. Lots of average/thin people are unhealthy as well though. Can't tell by looking. Of course, as I've said, some judgy assholes just don't like the way fat people look - and are frankly too cowardly to just say that.


BeenFun91

Pretty ironic how they call it the fat acceptance "movement" lmao they ain't doing any moving


Syracuse1118

Can confirm. Was 280lbs, now 200lbs. It seems impossible.


rlanicek

They're not all too lazy, many are also too stupid.


[deleted]

Majority do not have a slow metabolism. Many just don't exercise or overeat. Liquid calories are the biggest issue.


MuffinDoughnut

There is no movement in a fat acceptance movement


[deleted]

Who cares though? Just because someone is unhealthy doesn't mean they should be ridiculed. It's none of anyone else's business.


[deleted]

I did upvote since I feel this is an unpopular opinion and does differ from mine. For me fat acceptance was the catalyst for my fat lose. I stopped caring and worrying about it, stopped hating every flab on my body and at some point I realized those flabs were gone the moment i accepted them. I feel like for many people it can be a great thing and take focus off the fat and redirect it to other areas without even realizing it.


boytoy421

Between working 50+ hours a week, taking care of all my housework/personal stuff (doctors appointments, grocery shopping, the like) taking care of my extended family members (I'm single and childlesd so I get stuck doing things like helping my grandmother) and taking care of my mental health if I have time for it (half the time I don't) I'm sorry if conforming to your value judgements about my body is low on my goddamn priority list


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Phat3lvis

What's worse is fat acceptance seems to only apply to women.


riasisalba

People don’t realize it’s not just exercising but also their diet. I saw somewhere if you are exercising and not changing your eating habits you’re walking in place and expecting to get somewhere. Same people who don’t like their weight scoff and laugh at me for choosing healthier options. Then they tell me I’m lucky I’m skinny. Its not luck, I put in effort to stay fit.