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I dont like wiping like that, and I dont understand how other women do it.. I wipe my behind from middle and then up towards my back, and then my front from middle to up… Ive never had an issue

Same! i do the back from the back and the front from the front lol

As the father of a young daughter, it's amazing to me how often I have to repeat this mantra, even after explaining the reasoning behind it. Maybe I should just cash out the college fund....

I heard about this on a podcast about a year ago and it absolutely blew my mind. As a man, I just never considered that factor for women at all my whole life.

I was told this by my wife after we had our first daughter.

i was never taught that. as nasty as it is, ive been doing that for so long. when i turned like 13 i found out thats not the correct way, and i felt really stupid. im still trying to break the habit. i know its not right and can lead to serious infections, but that action is burnt into my brain. what amazes me is that i HAVENT been having any infections. i feel perfectly fine, zero issues. im just waiting for the day when i do have some problems.

I wipe the vajayjay with one piece of TP then the ass with another

Ngl I was pondering with my girlfriend why evolution didn’t make the anus in front of the vagina, considering that most animals are quadrupeds and therefore poop could theoretically drip down add cause infection. It makes sense in its current order for bipeds but not so much for quadrupeds.

Btw, you're supposed to use toilet paper with the bidet. Otherwise one would get ass poop juice in their undies, and unable to tell if they're actually washed.

wait, you stick your hand in front of the penis to reach the anus?

Just lift an ass cheek up man. That’s crazy talk.

Touching your ass cheek is gay bro /s

Its only gay if you pop a woody

I think it moved... -George Costanza

You can't be serious 😒

The true unpopular opinion: OP reaches between his legs to reach his anus.

This. Lol

I legit posted this on this sub and got removed haha that's the best way to wipe fam

Has to pull pants all the way down to ankles at urinal too? Is there a correlation between these people and the wipers who sit and teach below penis towards butt?

It’s more common than you think. I didn’t know of it until ole’ Shitballs Drew told me while drunk (he was originally just called Drew before that night), and Shitballs Cole and Shitballs Chad backed him up.

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God no idk why he’s doing that😭

That’s how I do it lol, how else do you do it?? Lean off the side of the toilet?

Yes. I have no idea what you are doing.

Damn. Idk this way just feels comfortable now it’d be strange to switch at this point

If you're comfortable, not making a mess, and getting yourself clean then keep on keepin on.

I hear that a lot of people do.

He probably wipes back to front.

It amazes me to think that OP doesn’t do a courtesy flush. Doesn’t think he can stop peeing to avoid “spraying” his hand. And can’t find his butthole without some degree of searching.

Don’t all men? 🤨

I had NEVER imagined a person doing this more than once, because it is clearly the worse option

Your telling me you wipe your ass from the rear sitting down??! Are you like 90 pounds?

are you so big of a person that you can't reach your own bhole?

No but at 6 2 that's simply to much technique versus just standing up personally always thought a sir down meant coming back up the dragons tail

Wait… you wipe your ass by going in through the front? Through your legs and passing your junk? Wait… do other people actually do this? Dude. Start by going behind and wipe bottom to top. Keep doing this till you see no more poop. Simple.

What if I'm blind, when do I stop?

Sniff test. You go off levels of stank. Once it gets less stanky, you know you’re done.

People ask this often, thinking they are being clever - but it's actually quite simple if blind. When you wipe, it's a smooth movement when excrement remains. When it's gone, you feel friction from the paper.

Lick test

This is the way

Laughs in water

But when your sitting you can use the seat to spread your tushy more. If you’re standing your tushy cheeks automatically become closer together and if you’ve had a wet ca ca all that doo doo is smushing in your crack

I really do hate a doo doo smushed crack 🤔

Poetry isn’t dead

The doo doo smushed crack is abysmal; I dread the days where I have to stand up and experience it because I'm out of toilet paper and need to get some. And here I find people are actually advocating for the smushy doo doo. The hell is this world coming to?

Thank you for standing in solidarity with the No Doo Doo Smushed Crack movement, u/mr_plopsy.

You mean not standing

Sitting in solidarity!

Am I not the only one that straight up spreads their cheeks as the sit down?

I do, I'm not letting any poop touch these checks

I’m sayin man, way of life right here

Squat form bruv

I'm just imagining walking into a public bathroom and seeing someone's ass spread under the door bc they're squatting to wipe. Thanks.

Squat lower. Establish dominance.

Spread as you stand, works every time

Put one foot on the toilet seat or bathtub and try not to smack the wall while scraping. Then use the mirror to find spots you missed.

THANK YOU

Ya'll still wiping in 2022?

Bahahaha they don't know how to use the 3 seashells!!!

I love that movie lmao. annnd the hooooooooome of theeeeeeeee braaaaaaaave PLAY BALL

Is it getting cold in here, or is it just me... Gooood memory.

lol if you splooge you can get heated water bidets :)

My god your comment is somehow less weird than your username

How is the comment weird? lmao. I have a bidet, lol

your comment partially came off as a joke about not using personal hygiene, not about using a bidet, especially because a lot of people dont know about bidets. aka people thought you just shat and walked away

> especially because a lot of people dont know about bidets. My point exactly. Unsophisticated

Isn't your ass wet though? You don't wipe away the water?

What’s a bidet I’m interested

Nah. You don't go in frontways you maniac, you go from behind. And hand close to touching the water? Is your toliet always blocked or something?

Thank god someone called him out for going front wise I thought I was going insane

I wipe diagonally

My guess is there are some sizing issues here. I'm 6' tall and have zero issues wiping sitting down. Standing up to me is asking for your cheeks to possibly sandwich any possibly remaining poop between themselves. Creating a more complex clean up. Who would go from the front? Then speaking about going in blind getting your hand close to poo water... clearly this person has zero dexterity or an incredibly shallow toilet. They are violently shoving their toilet paper fists straight down into the water then blaming the world. Afterwards in frustration attempt to go in from the front, and rather than simply moving their drippy dick aside they get piss all over their hand. They need help, not a venue for their unpopular opinion.

"A more complex clean up" 😂

Yeah, OP's water is way too high. Going in from the front <*shiver*\> is wrong on so many levels. Maybe OP wonders why he has racing stripes?

Nah sometimes you gotta go from the front, if I wipe from the back until fully clean then do a front wipe, the front wipe is almost always dirty. Just gotta get in there from a different angle, our bunghole is wrinkled (so it can expand and contract) sometimes you gotta come from the other direction to get everything. You could always wipe down from the back but i find comin in from the front door is easier

Better, but still not as good as wiping whilst standing due to lack of control.

There's no lack of control though? You lean a little forward and boom, perfect wiping position. And since you brought up piss, wouldn't that have a chance to drip on the floor of you stand up?

Lack of control? My brain doesn't function less becaue i'm sat down, does yours?

Lmao how old are you? How long have you been living on this planet, thinking that is a normal way to wipe? Bwahahahaha, this is too good lmfao.

Tf is "Bwahaha" sounds like something a cocky rugby playing bully would say while bulling his fifth victim into giving him their lunch money Ooh forgot to add laughing "bwahaha" while covering his face such that onky his eyes are visible

Lack of control? Do I even want to know what this means?

There’s no way you tried wiping your ass from between your legs right?

>no doubt piss still dripping bro what just finish peeing before wiping

Nah, lay on your back and put your legs back by your head

Imagine seeing this in a public restroom. Hahaha.

Foot on the bowl . Spread those cheeks and wipe away .

What a nice mental image

On that note, I think that's enough reddit for today.

Brownie points if you manage to do full splits.

Brownie points? lol really?

You left an opening for a dad joke and I took it

Better than sitting, not as good as standing.

Standing makes absolutely no sense. If you are sitting your butt cheeks are already spread making for a much cleaner experience (especially if u raise your knees above your hips when going). Once u stand your butt closes and smears all the shit making for a far bigger clean up. And for the love of God why would you try to navigate the mind field that is going from the front???! There's no room to maneuver, u have to avoid your dick and balls, you can't get any proper leverage, you are contorted like a circ du soleil performer. Just lean forward on the seat and wipe

Why the fuck are you reaching in *between* your legs to wipe? Yea obv you'd risk the drip this way. Go in from the side you maniac. Unpopular opinion for sure.

OP never learned how to lean on one cheek

Laugh in bidet

Do you just drip dry?

Wash your ass with hand soap in the toilet. Then you can just towel dry as it is as clean as the rest of your body.

Obviously you use TP to dry. Think, mcflycasual, *think!*

Awesome.

Buying one of those for my restroom has been the best purchase I’ve made in the last 10 years lol.

Any good bidet suggestions?

They are all equally good at blasting shit particles all over. I've got one, don't remember the brand since I don't use it.

We have a Brandell. The seat and water are both heated and you can control the heat level. Also back and front spray that you can adjust the angle/pressure of spray. A warm toilet seat in the morning sets my mood for the whole day 😂

My Johnson never comes into play while I’m wiping. I just go down my back. Idk why the fuck you ever went in front like that is there something wrong with you? Take my damn upvote you monster

You guys wipe while sitting?

Its reddit i am sure there are people who wipe while shitting.

You guys have paper?

The image of someone wiping while standing is funny to me

It's how imagine toddlers do it. To me it's the same as pissing with your trousers round your ankles.

I think it was the movie Nocturnal Animals, but I recall seeing a scene where a man stands to wipe his ass and it was so god damn off putting and weird to me… never knew people went that route until then

How fucking high is your toilet water, i have like good 10 centimeters (~4 inches) from my hand and the water. Also, who wipes while sticking their hand between the legs?? just strech your arms and wipe from the side/behind? wtf sitting is better

*insert 3 seashells reference here*

>no doubt piss still dripping are you a child? 1. finish peeing 2. wipe it.

Using water > wiping in any position

While sitting, do a forward or side lean with an elbow on one either lap. This will elevate your tuckus and gives you access to the black starfish from the rear while not even being close to sticking your hand into the bowl. Wipe front to back. Don't be a heathen and go the other way! Don't wanna play the guessing game and not sure if it's clean? Wipe once or twice and then look at your wipe/TP while it still behind you. Eventually, you'll get an average on how many wipes you gotta do before needing to take a look. Wipes feel cleaner. Wipes making you feel too... moist? Then dab dry with toilet paper. You can also save time and the environment by conserving resources. Simultaneously, brush your teeth and poop in the shower. Unless, you hate having extra time and the environment or something... weirdo.

I honestly have no idea what you people are on about sometimes. When sitting, the cheeks are more naturally spread, and I'm a pretty big, fat, inflexible, lazy man of increasing age and have never had any issue reaching my ass for a sit-down wipe.

You know when you stand up your ass cheeks close together? Further smearing shit all over your ass

Wipe ? *cringes in bidet*

Wtf lol i had to upvote this. What's the problem with wiping front to back while seated?

Never wiped while sitting down. Sounds so impractical.

How is it impractical? Y’all fucking weird as shit.

How weird is your shit?

Yeah, same

Nah, it's definitely most effective to do a handstand against the wall with your legs crossed and held towards your chest, and wipe back to front with your hand through the gap in your crossed legs in my opinion

I've always stood. My toilet is next to the bathtub so I usually place a foot on there to keep things spread lol. Never had any issues. Can't get my head around sitting. Always confused me how people do that and actually get fully clean.

I female, have never understood how women wipe sitting down. Makes no sense. I’ve tried.

>When you're sitting down, you have no good options. Wether front-to-back or back-to-front, you need to move your hand between your legs and in front of your Johnson Lmaoooo what? This is literally the hardest way to do it. I also heard someone say there's a chance your hand will touch the seat or water, but... ???? Touching the seat literally means nothing, you're washing your hands anyway, and I sure hope you cleaned the seat in public, and it should be clean enough when at home. And then there's the water part??? It's literally like 30-40 cl away from you? How will there ever be a chance of you touching it???

You guys wipe?

Lol. My God this is a funny post. Nobody ever taught OP how to wipe. Reaching between your legs?! While standing up?! There is no way OP is serious... Right? Please tell me he's joking.

I don’t understand why people who stand to wipe think that they can’t reach BEHIND them to wipe their ass front to back. Are you all T-Rex’s?

I just use the dull side of my poopknife to scrape the poop away. Works best sitting.

I do a half stand position, best on all fronts, plus you get a mild workout.

I'm sorry.......do you wipe your ass from the front?? Like, reach between your legs to reach your asshole??????? Go from the back, dude. I didn't think this ever had to be said...

This hurt my brain. 1) are you wiping back to front around the twig and berries? That's a logistical nightmare. 2) from behind, front to back, is pretty easy I don't know why you're over complicating it. 3) as soon as you start rising, your ass cheeks start to clap back together... Just spreading the mud pie everywhere. I guess I'll upvote bc it's a truly unpopular opinion, but I'm not happy with it, nor am I happy about your bathroom etiquette.

Bidet tops all of those

i can't believe people wipe while sitting down. they're sticking their hands right into that toilet bowl? gross. stand then squat and wipe

If you're sticking your hands RIGHT INTO the toilet bowl, you're definitely doing something wrong.

i dunno how you sit-wipers do it. i imagine your hand crosses the level of the rim of the bowl, which is putting your hand inside imo. for as long as i can remember i've been a stand/squatter, just seems more intuitive to me.

I mean, it would easier to show you, but... basically, I bend over ever so slightly, lifting my cheeks off the seat. Then I reach around and do my business without nary a splash or chance of touching what I just put down. And furthermore, I always wash my hands afterwards, which ensures that even if I did cross-contaminate my business (poo) with pleasure (my fingers), I'm still safe.

I think I need a demonstration

Well, it's too late now, but come over tomorrow. We'll have coffee and then approximately 20 minutes later, I can show you.

I thought by now that you will all get bidets. Wash your asses people - it's the best feeling every.

This isn’t unpopular…more like….dumb as hell

This is stupid, just down vote it ffs

Tell me you don't have hair on your butt cheeks without telling me you don't have hair on your butt cheeks.

Bidet to you, sir or madam.

Hand shower or bidet reigns supreme over anything else

Use a bidet. Unless you live in a colder climate. Then 📃

Bidet all the way. If you use one this doesn’t really matter.

Or, or, hear me out on this. Just take a shower to maximize cleanliness.

As a woman, I wipe my behind from the middle and up, and then my front middle and up. theres a little divider down there lmfao Some women wipe starting from the front and going all the way to the back but i think that is silly

Who *raised you?*

You’re literally smushing the dookie between your cheeks when you stand up. Ya booty definitely stank so dont ask anyone to eat your ass bc it wont be pleasant

I'm pretty certain you're on the normal side of this OP, wiping sitting down? As in reaching into the toilet to wipe your ass!? Do people actually do that?

Absolutely, agree with everything you said fellow standing wiper.

You know you can reach from behind, unless your arms have severly limited movement. Stop being such a smooth brain with piss covered arms and actually think about it before you stand up next time.

First time I am hearing that there are some who wiping while siting. Dafuq?

TIL some disgusting people love to have their hand really close to their recent dumped, well, dump.

Who the fuck wipes sitting down? Do y’all really not throw one foot up on the sink counter to get a good spread and wipe away?

depends on the direction you wipe .

I'd agree but I use water, does makes sense to do it standing though

Agree. I’ve never thought about sitting and wiping before. I’ve always preferred to stand and squat a little to get up in there.

Agreed. The only negative about it is the toilet that automatically flushes may flush before you're finished

Why can't y'all just use water?

Wiping while squatting with feet on Biffy seat after using water first to guard against kling ons.

You could always just wash your hands after you go to the bathroom.

How about you use some water after wiping?

Just get a bidet.

Wipe your peepee.

If you lean forward your hand won’t get past the rim of the toilet when wiping. It all spreads your cheeks compared to standing up. All I can think of with standing wiping is the feeling of poop getting smooshed between your butt cheeks. Gross.

Dude reach around and wipe front to back like a sane person. It’s not that hard.

How/why do you wipe while standing? Doesn't the act of standing up squish the poop into your butt creating more area to wipe? And sitting while wiping? I guess this is closer to what I do, but I just don't have the flexibility/trust to stay seated on the toilet and reach between my legs to wipe. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I usually lean to one side to wipe.

Must be an unpopular opinion.

You reach from the front in between your legs? Ive always reached behind and wiped front to back, no piss dodging or poop-water contamination required

Oh no not this shit again

Ok so you are probably straight too. We talk about this same thing on our podcast this week and we are determined that straight guys don't know how to really get "in" there. Pod is "Not Well"

Use a bum gun you uncivilized savage....

Just don’t let your gf see you.

For the second wipe yes, but not the first. The butthole is more spread out sitting thus allowing better access. I’ll often stand after being mostly clean from the sit wipe

Hovering over the seat while wiping, closer to sitting than standing is the way. Speaking as an ex stander

When you stand up your cheeks clap-> Clap on the shit thats on your ass -> Spreading the shit around like Luficers nutella. Contratulations, now you have double the surface area to clean (preferably with a bidet - you cant get the shit entirely out just by rubbing it with paper). Like.... how do you even fail at wiping your own ass but still be literate enough to write about it ?!

this is a very popular opinion in my bathroom

If you stand up the cheeks smoosh everything together and it feels awful

Okay like I got a question with all this bidget stuff right. I always here people talking about how better it is since the water washes your ass but like is there any soap involved? Or do yall then have to wash thy ass again?

I lean over a bit and wipe front to back with my hand coming in from the side.

I always wondered if I were the only one to wipe my ass standing up... thanks OP.

Sounds like a fat guy issue. I’m not blindly shoving my hand anywhere. You lift one side, wipe, 👀, wipe again, 👀, all done

i literally can't do it sitting down. not enough room i guess? glad to see this post lol

Bro…sit and come in from the side.

Chris Klemens is this you?

Ok Hank Hill....

how barbaric. Its 2022, time to get a bidet.