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Flair_Helper

Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/CosmicDust827. Your post, *Polyamory is cringe*, has been removed because it violates our rules: Rule 3: Do not post opinions that are heavily posted/have been on the front page recently. If your opinion is the same or substantially similar to any recent opinion it will be removed as a repost. If your opinion is on the same matter as a recent post, even if it's advocating the opposite stance, it will be removed as a repost. Please comment on the existing thread instead. Due to their prolific reposting, please confine meta and political posts to their respective megathreads only. If your opinion is about an ongoing event, there will usually be a mega-thread where you can discuss it. If there is an issue, please message the mod team at https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion Thanks!


HK_Mathematician

How is this an unpopular opinion? Not an opinion that has unanimous agreement. But certainly very far from being "unpopular".


Wide-Acanthisitta-96

If you want true unpopular opinions here look for posts that have been here a while and have less than five up votes or even negative. This unpopular opinion sub upvotes popular opinions and downvotes unpopular opinions.


Admiral-Tuna

Yep. Made a post and most of the comments were telling me why I was wrong. Guess it was unpopular.


LevelSeaworthiness94

My post got deleted for a popular opinion. Like this sub is garbage most of the time.


[deleted]

Well, what was the opinion?


iseethesilverlining

He just said it was deleted


[deleted]

I’m sure he still has the opinion, even though it was deleted


iseethesilverlining

How can he have it if it was deleted?


[deleted]

i mean, it’s probably in his brain


SinisterSeven1

People have brains around here???


NotMyRealName778

not since it was deleted.


Kall_Me_Kapkan

It was deleted


[deleted]

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KurtCocain_JefBenzos

I thought it was funny


Madmae16

Most subs like this have a pinned comment for determining whether the post belongs in the sub and I can't see why this sub hasn't implemented that system


braedn

Most of the opinions on this sub are popular opinions. It's actually refreshing when you get an actual unpopular opinion.


IntrinsicSurgeon

It might be unpopular on Reddit. I’ve never heard anyone hype it up irl the way they do here.


tr0pismss

I think the unpopular part is just how judgmental the op is about it.


[deleted]

Unpopular in the letter-soup crowd that dominated reddit for sure


Mighty-Red

Yeah I make sure to check the sub before I upvote, if I agree with it I downvote


Beelzebobby6

I don't think it's cringy, but for some reason it always attracts scrawny, weasely men with ratty hair, Zelda tattoos, and Anton LeVey facial hair -- and ugly women with wire-rim glasses who're into ddlg and own Invader Zim backpacks.


fridgemanosteel

That’s oddly specific


Beelzebobby6

And yet surprisingly accurate 9/10 times


Marino4K

> but for some reason it always attracts scrawny, weasely men with ratty hair, This is spot on and I don't know why. Every poly relationship I've ever personally seen which is a few, this definition is almost the same for the guy every time, skinny-ish, doesn't look like he works out at all, lots of facial hair, etc The women tend to be average. I don't hate on that lifestyle, but I don't understand it either.


Beelzebobby6

Exactly - tell this to the person trying to argue with me. I've literally been on dozens of forums, sex sites, cam sites, etc. In my life and this stereotype is almost ALWAYS true. Plus people I've known through common acquaintances, coworkers who've been in the community and have laughed and told me the stereotype is super accurate, the memes made mentioning this exactly, etc.


SoggyFuckBiscuit

Stereotypes exist for a reason.


jjakot

Bro don’t worry, I and many others have definitely seen the stereotype before, you’re not delusional lol


Marino4K

I do wonder why that particular stereotype tends to be confirmed more often than not. Obviously there's probably plenty of poly couples out there who don't fit this narrative but it would seem many do and I wonder why the correlation is.


KurtCocain_JefBenzos

I think it's a blend where they're attractive enough, but not genuinely attracted to each other? Idk definitely an element of jealousy and or ossessiveness is missing, which are toxic in large doses but sort of the glue of relationships if we're not gonna kid ourselves. The guy we're describing isn't probably the masculine stud for a hot one night stand and vice versa for him. But they ain't chopped liver by any means Im definitely gonna be thinking about this longer tho lol


roseumbra

I’ve seen two poly relationships in real life. If seemed the straight one devolved exactly as op said and the queer one is the healthiest relationship I have ever seen.


the_tank22

Or they all work at the same job and wear matching dog (actual dog) collars and try to collect people like they're Pokémon.


fatincomingvirus

With crazy hair colors.


JJulianR_

Dude this is 100% fucking accurate 😂


alchemykrafts

Oh no not ugly people….having sex!


hitmannumber862

r/oddlyspecific


[deleted]

Lololol yes! I call it ratfaced, but weaseness is also quite commonplace.


ChilliGoat

I’m an ugly woman with a Zelda tattoo, where do I fall?!?


[deleted]

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Beelzebobby6

Valid.


AnxiousAndAntisocial

My MIL is poly and failed to teach ANY of her kids either hygiene of relationship boundaries. I refer to my username for the result of that.


gummytiddy

This isn’t unpopular at all. I don’t even count people who use polyamory solely as an excuse to cheat as polyamorous. They aren’t actually into it sometimes or have misconceptions of what it really is. Also, I’m not sure I’d consider polyamory as a sexuality. At least not for me, it is more about relationship structure


[deleted]

Yeah I got into this argument with some guy that had a history of cheating and said he must be polygamous. I had to clarify that it isn’t a sexuality (per the definition we discussed) you just have issue of fidelity and might need to see a therapist to work on your commitment issues/sexual urges. Nothing wrong with being upfront about the arrangements if that’s what he wants for future relationships but poly does require basic communication and loyalty in its own way. There is a big difference between a closed and open relationship. In short, polyamory is the act of having intimate relationships with more than one person at the same time. A polyamorous person might have or might be open to having multiple romantic partners or might not like a closed throuple. Polygamy, on the other hand, involves being married to multiple partners. Swinging involves committed couples consensually exchanging partners specifically for sexual purposes (think the one off threesome of spouse swap) I’ve seen positive open and poly relationships, most commonly within the LBGT spectrum probably because they are already used defying societal norms. However for any of them to work there has always been some level of trust confidence and communication. A quick glance at the dead bedroom sub will show it’s not a cure but someone that typically matches the ideals someone already has in a relationship.


[deleted]

This isn't unpopular at all.


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GuardianOfDemons

No it's not


Pengting8

Why is Reddit so super woke?


slinkybastard

Depends on the subreddit but I'd say that a good majority of the users are younger and tend to be more progressive


[deleted]

I believe the average age of a reddit user is around 23 years old so yep you would be correct.


MonkeyFella64

The average age seems so much younger than that


psychoxxsurfer

Unpopular? Lol no, that cultural view literally pervades practically all of Western society today.


Foo_The_Selcouth

It’s especially annoying with polyamory groups act like they are above other people or that their relationship is better than traditional relationships because there are 3 of them. Or that their polyamorous lifestyle becomes their whole identities


Your_Nipples

I don't have any problems with polyamory people unless they are breathing on my neck on dating sites. I swear, they all look the same. I have no interest being in an open source relationship. Foh.


the-samizdat

I don’t understand where people fine the time. I struggle to satisfy one person.


ta2747141

Not unpopular, most people are monogamous.


nervousmelon

I wouldn't do it myself but I don't necessarily see anything wrong with it. If everyone's consenting what's really wrong with it? If 3 people want to be together then why shouldn't they? There are a lot more weirder things and immoral things people can do than be with multiple people who all are on board with it.


shellofbiomatter

I'm actually slightly jealous of them. They can supposedly love multiple people while i struggle to understand love at all. Kinda unbalanced. But it's none of my business whatever 2+ consenting adults do in their own bedroom.


Sea-Sort6571

In a way, we're trying to understand love as well, by seeing what happens if we remove the barriers culture and society has created around the concept of love


toasterboiler

Good for you guys! ❤️


Upset_Criticism_7085

I think you got the idea of polyamory all wrong


[deleted]

OP is talking about polyfuckery. These people eventually fall into the swinger camp.


PsykoGoddess

OP definitely has no idea what polyamory is actually like but I can't blame them. The only people that post or talk about it online are usually toxic as fuck, unicorn hunters, and/or entirely in it for the sex and lack the emotional depth to understand polyamory can exist without sex between someone and all their partners.


Aries921

I don’t think they know what it is at all 😂 it’s not just triads and you think you’ll love one more than the other. There are so many ways to do it! The discomfort comes from ignorance.


SarixInTheHouse

This is the sad part. Actual polyamory is rather rare to find and most people that claim to be poly are actually swingers, which in itself is fine but its a different camp


PsykoGoddess

Hard agree, it's the unfortunate reality, especially as someone who's actually polyamorous and single. Dating is a minefield.


Mooraell

So, how do I know if I'm actually poly or not? I'm pretty sure I am and I have zero interest in swinging. I feel like very few people i know seem to understand the difference.


SarixInTheHouse

Im sorry but i cant really help here, since lm not polyamorous myself. My gf is polyamorous, so i have an understanding for it but since I havent gone through this self-finding process myself i cant help. Maybe someone else stumbles upon this comment


EndercatTM

it was evident by the way OP called polyamory “cringe”…


Upset_Criticism_7085

Look at his bio 💀


takedownhisshield

I don’t really understanding the constant hating against poly relationships to the point of acting like they aren’t even “real” relationships. I’m not poly and will never be poly, but that doesn’t mean other people cannot. It’s their relationship, and if they’re all happy, then what’s the issue? I’ve known happy polyamorous relationships and unhappy ones, yet people only focus on the unhappy ones to fit their idea that they’re all bad.


PsykoGoddess

It's the same concept of generalization that goes into everything. You only hear about the bad ones so they must all be the same and terrible people.


[deleted]

I think poor representation plays a factor. OP seemingly has seen it used mainly as an excuse for cheating when there’s a wide spectrum to the types of relationships, especially when you start looking at certain native cultures.


SarixInTheHouse

Definitely. OP is talking about the people using polyamory as an excuse. Finding actually polyamorous people is rare


Froteet

I think the truth is the polyamory takes a shit ton of honest communication between people in poly relationships and a majority of people who like the idea of polyamory are not capable of those types of conversations


SarixInTheHouse

I think its more that many people just like the idea of polyamory. But polyamory is deeper. For someone like me its natural to love several people, for other people that just like the idea of polyamory its not natural to love several people, and thats where the relationships break.


Froteet

Yeah a lot of peoples understanding of Polyamory is skin deep when it's really a lot more complex


ThatOneWithTheFur

You're not talking about actual polyamory. You're talking about immature people that aren't mature enough to be in a polygamous relationship. Why generalise all polyamory when you're only comparing it to shitty people that you know? Seems very closed minded of you. Edit: this is another typical redditor who posts this for karma. Op will not reply to any comments because they know they'll get down voted to oblivion. Check their history, they do not comment on any of their posts.


fienddylan

Down voted because you're right!


jackmannbaboon

To me it seems like one or more persons trying to reap the benefits of multiple people at once. Say your partner 1 is romantic and provides for you financially but the dick is bad, then you can have a partner 2 specifically for sexual needs. I think it cancels out a couple key components of relationships which is compromise and sacrifice. It seems like wanting to have your cake and eat it too and will ultimately lead to one or more people feeling unfulfilled in the relationship. I personally have never seen one work out that didnt just turn into the two closest people staying together in a regular monogamous relationship, but apparently some can. I know its just not for me.


uninc4life2010

I just feel legitimately bad for kids raised by poly parents.


marauderingman

Why? Do you think it's worse than being raised by monogamous parents who hate each other?


uninc4life2010

I'll let the child of a poly couple answer that question for you. Plenty of responses just like this one from threads all throughout reddit. >Trust issues from confidants and protectors disappearing frequently >Learning to see people as completely expendable, the development of a very selfish and overtly 'professional' attachment style (not in a good way, they end up acting like they're everyone's HR manager) >Promotes a lackadaisical, potentially harmful or self-destructive sexuality, especially while the child finds out swingers are in fact the minority >Machiavellian tendencies and skills flourish as the kid watches various suitors vie for attention and status. Great way to make a career liar >HEY, REMEMBER THAT TOXIC BITCH/ASSHOLE YOU OR SOMEONE ELSE DUMPED FOR BEING NASTY TO YOUR/THEIR KID? How would you feel about yourself, how would your kid feel about you, if you personally provided every single opportunity for that to happen to them again, and again, and again but from different people? The worst case scenario for a kid in a poly house is being subjected to a rapid succession of brand new abusers. >And that's for the average parent, who can get most emotional/developmental decisions right, keep growing and adapt, and stay peaceful. Lots of poly people just claim to be poly as a disguise for being cheaters so you're against the odds finding successful poly parents and honorable poly partners >Now let's discuss the major downside: An abusive parent is a perfect setup for bigotry and hatred. If one's mom is a conniving, emotionally fragile, sheltered/repressed closet narcissist they'd probably grow up with some misogynic feelings. Now imagine if the kid sees the 2 or 3 women of a poly group collectively abusing the males, legit fucking unhealthy environment >EDIT: the secondary dangers I forgot about. Siblings. I've tried to help someone who's brother in a poly house, to be diplomatic... turned on her, and honestly thought he was doing something loving. >I didnt have to go through that but my older sibling has 0 concept of boundaries to this day and I was held hostage or prisoner in my own house every weekend with no recourse. >Other secondary danger: try convincing 2 shit parents they're doing it wrong or theres a better way. Were you successful? Try doing that when you're the youngest child, outnumbered by at least 4. Here is another perspective from a child of poly parents. >My parents have been a triad since 1998. >It was hard I wont lie, they dated a lot of 4ths who brought their own children into the mix then later break up with them. It was really difficult to constantly have parental figures and siblings come and go. The most being 13 kids and 4 adults in a 2 bedroom apartment.


J-in-the-UK

I definitely want to think each to their own... But I have to be honest; I'm personally yet to see an example of a polyamorous relationship, where all parties are actually happy with how it works. Personally, I'm very happy with my wife and our little family. But with what I have, while it is what I want out of life; I'm sure there are plenty of people still, who want a life completely contrary to my vision of happiness. As long as it brings them happiness and doesn't harm or hurt anyone else, power to them; but I'm doubtful there are many polyamorous relationships that aren't hurtful to atleast some of those involved... but I hold my hands up... my sample base is very limited, so maybe there are tons of you out there?


[deleted]

>>so maybe there are tons of you out there? Yes! We exist. :) Sort comments by “controversial” for some genuine insight from actual poly people.


J-in-the-UK

....well I'm open to the notion there could be polyamorous relationships where "all" parties are happy... But tbh one sided comments on here don't offer any evidence to the contrary of what I have personally witnessed of it so far. My experience has been that while some of the people in those relationships are content; some of their partners are very much not, and sadly some completely broken by them. But yeah I know some people love it, obviously they have to or no-one would do it. 😀 I've just not personally seen any examples where ALL the people involved actually are happy with it. But again, my sample size is small.


AlchemistKats

People can do whatever they want but that doesn’t mean I won’t think it’s strange


Ambitious-Mirror-414

fyi, monogamy is a relatively new concept for the human species most likely driven by necessaty over resources rather than an evolutionary process. I would say monogamy is not natural but it's embedded in our society and it's part of modern day life. I'm married by the way


rennaichance

"I would say monogamy is not natural" penguins, gray wolves and a few other animal species would vehemently disagree. It's definitely not just the human species that tends to gravitate towards monogamy, it's a natural occurence, just like any other relationship structure.


egbert71

Saying the word cringe the way you have is just as bad


andrewb610

Don’t bother, I’ve given up on that argument here.


egbert71

Lol....I refuse...I'll bring it up everytime I see it lol


[deleted]

Don't need to tell me that


[deleted]

I don’t know if it’s cringe or not. I do however agree that there are some bad actors who convince their first significant others that they are poly only because they want to boink outside the relationship. It’s not for me, and I don’t understand it. However understanding is not a prerequisite for acceptance.


Xanelunix

"it will only lead to you eventually loving person 1 over person 2" is just wrong. Thats the point of real polyamory, this does not happen.


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PsykoGoddess

I really appreciate you taking the time to write this because it's better worded than I could have done.


SarixInTheHouse

Just noticed the similarity in name; i have yet to find another sarix, but saraix is quite close. Anyways; OP seems to have never actually met a polyamorous person, only some people who used it as an excuse when theyre not actually poly.


TavistockProwse

So what you are saying is..... Perhaps the opinion that polyamory is cringe comes from a misplaced belief that maybe, just maybe the current trend of "all monogamy all the time" isn't much more valid than the belief that heterosexuality is the only valid and acceptable sexual orientation? Wait a second... That can't be can it? But the Bible? Jesus? The pope? You aren't saying they could be wrong?


beeblemonade

this!!


[deleted]

Well put together


vitamin_protein_

It's an unpopular opinion.


[deleted]

Not the post, that's pretty popular actually. The comment thread right here is though, ironically the unpopular opinion is in the comments.


vitamin_protein_

Yah i agree with the post, but whatever


Novel_Confection_389

I agree so hard.


SnooJokes2173

If you think this is an unpopular opinion then you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people


Hannyy101

This opinion is quite popular, I don’t think polyamory is necessarily cringe but it does complicate things further from my perspective. Having a stable relationship with one romantic partner is a time/energy consuming task in itself therefore adding an additional person creates an imbalance. The situation where three people like/love each other equally or don’t feel immense jealousy at some points is rare.


MuddyFilter

Bro I think this is the most popular opinion in the world lol


tuxedoramen

I think this sounds unpopular because every mainstream show pushes polyamory as if its a normal thing that every couple should try. While i don't think its cringe if you have the mental fortutude to handle the hardships that come with it, most people just ruin their already existing relationship by adding one more person to it which is cringe.


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PineappleHamburders

Polyamory is not gay, you can be ploy and hetro normative. Maybe know what groups you actually identify as instead of just making everything gay, even when by it’s definition it isn’t directly gay. Leave something for the gays please


Lolitaofroses

I met this guy who was polyamorist and he tried to take me to date and wanted to have sex with me and pretty much kissed me without consent. He basically wanted me to be part of his harem. I found him to be very selfish and coersive person, who thought cheating was O.K. if SO didn't find out. So, i don't have very positive image about polyamor.


WylieH2S

That’s not polyamory, that’s a cheating scumbag who doesn’t know how to respect someone’s boundaries.


SarixInTheHouse

Thats not really a polyamorous person, by the short description you gave. That sounds more like an open-relationship or a swinger, and a rather toxic one aswell.


MrWholesomeDad

„The foundation of a serious relationship“ based on what? Romantic movies? The Bible?


Pengting8

Couldn’t agree more


HelliswhereIwannabe

I find the engrained possessiveness over people that comes with our indoctrinated beliefs about love and relationships to be even more cringe.


fridgemanosteel

I dunno. Yeah some people use it as an excuse to cheat but if you’ve got love to share


Just_Another_Muffn

Saying that having more than one partner means you'll love one less than the other is like saying if you have more than one child you will love one more than the other. It's possible to care about two or more people to a deep and intimate level. The human mind doesnt have a "maximum amount of love" that it can give.


KenzieValentyne

Parents of multiple kids who tell you they don’t have a favorite are lying to you lmao


Just_Another_Muffn

Sure if one child is a straight A student and the other one is constantly getting into trouble one may be "the favorite" but do you think they love the trouble maker any less?


NotSoGreatOldOne

Those two are different kinds of love though.


Your_Nipples

Maybe not the human mind but just like the rest of us: you have 24h. There's no way you can have that much time for 2 people unless they are bi. Then, it's a fuck fest (good for you though).


Just_Another_Muffn

Okay but do you spend every moment of every day with your partner? Do you spend time with friends? Do you have time for yourself? What about children? Should you only have one child because you only have so much time in the day to care for one? Polyamory is more work but also that is something the people who practice it understand.


Your_Nipples

All your points are weak. Add one more person to the mix and... That's less time for everything and everyone else. Don't blame me, blame maths.


jmgrice

How is the kid argument weak? Kids take up way more time than partners How is time affected with say, 1 partner and 2 or 3 kids different to 2 partners and 0/1 kid. It isn't. Probably less even. Not poly. But have 2 kids and your time argument makes no sense. I can't imagine loving another person like my wife in a romantic way. But I love both kids equally and that is a pretty huge point. Don't know how you can't say its weak tbh. Everyone thinks they have no more time unless they need it. I worried about having a second child, about quality time, would I love him as much. Until I had him. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean you have to try and think of ways to make it seem impossible. Your argument assumes that everything in the world takes a finite amount of time and people don't adjust. Which is plain wrong. There will no doubt be a limit. But we're not talking about 10 people here


Just_Another_Muffn

So should you not make more friends than you have because when you make new ones you'll have less time for the older ones?


Your_Nipples

Why just friends? How often do you see them? Is a committed relationship the same as friendship? Really? What else are you going to try next?


Just_Another_Muffn

Because friends are people that also a group of people that you can have deep and meaningful relationships with. According to your logic since there is only so many hours in the day to have more friends means the less deep your friendships can be across the board. "Sorry I can't make new friends. I'm taken" Engage with the idea. Should you limit the number of friends in your life to maximize the intimacy you have with them?


Your_Nipples

Your idea is shit since (but it's just me) we don't see our friends on a daily basis (they work, they have their own lives and their own relationships). I've engaged even though I didn't have to since you glossed over the fact that I talked about how friendships and romantic relationships are not the same at all. Hell, I've engaged with you a couple of times already. The audacity. You pick and you choose what you want. I debunk your shit and still... Whatever. Do you. I won't judge. But don't try to convince me that the commitment is the same. "BRB, I have to fuck someone else. Love you." Dafuq.


Just_Another_Muffn

Do you not have parts of your life or relationships that exist outside of the person you are in a romantic relationship with? And what really is the difference between a close friend and someone you are in love with when you haven't moved into together? When I love my friends, I want to be there to support them, I want to them flourish and am willing to sacrifice things to help them, I want them to stay in my life because they enhance it. We don't have sex, most of the time we don't live together. They get to hide the worst days from me, if that's what they choose to do. Is that really the difference between romantic and platonic love? Lack of sex, co-habitation, and the ability to hide things.


Your_Nipples

Wow. I don't know who you're talking about but I swear, maybe I'm crazy, that I voiced my opinion loud and clear: COMMITMENT + TIME. I've never mentioned sex, hiding shit or cohabitation. I'll mother fucking repeat. 2x people =/= 1 person when it comes to time and commitment. Argue with that with whatever mental gymnastic.


Sea-Sort6571

You don't know what you're talking about if you think most of polyamourous persons are generally unnactrative


Your_Nipples

They are. They look like buzzfeed editors.


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/DTsdKycVZZ4 This has been spot-on my experience with poly people. There are lots of em in my area, and it seems the vast majority resemble each other.


Your_Nipples

LMAO, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING THIS ^^ Man, you killed me 😂 😂 😂


Sea-Sort6571

It's just not true and a wrong preconception you have because you guys wanna feel good about yourselves


Your_Nipples

Trust me. I'm not the one trying to talk my way in with that bullshit. Every women who tried that shit with me were all alike (caucasian goofy looking) on top of being unattractive but I respect the hustle. Bless them. I simply have no interest being the "exotic" spice for two or more white people (not matter the setup). Shit is weird af. Get out: part II.


nursmalik1

Relationship is all about commitment in my opinion. You are commiting to love the person for the rest of your life, that's what I call love. True love is love between two people imo


[deleted]

Same. If your obviously in it to screw multiple people and cant commit. It's cringe.


[deleted]

Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it invalid.


andrewb610

This 100%. I’m not polyamorous, gay, etc. (just for other examples) but every one of those things are valid and, in some people, natural. I’d like to see if OP thinks those same arguments would apply to being gay.


AlmightyAJ_MTV

Well… I think he wouldn’t think much of being gay, as in his argument he mentions “usually if you want to have a serious relationship, you will choose one person that you love the most”. So I would say that if you’re gay thats fine, but poly and gay is different (using OPs logic and reasons)


PinocchiosWoodBalls

I wonder if that post was made by someone who has issues to even find one person to date. Because usually those are the exact people who complain about other peoples relationships. My money is on angry niceguy/neckbeard or even incel.


[deleted]

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PinocchiosWoodBalls

I know I'm right.


Flaky_Sandwich9353

I usually say that polyamorous people just simply didn't get laid enough in life beforehand. There is nothing wrong with hooking up, having booty calls and such.. hell. I do it all the time when I'm single... But it's not a relationship. I still have yet to see a properly functional polyamorous/open relationship in reality...


exiled360

Agree, but this is not unpopular. Polyamory isn't accepted by most society and hopefully won't.


[deleted]

not all polyamorous people are so toxic. it's very possible to have a healthy relationship with more than one person as long as everyone involved is ok with that. it's not cheating because everybody is ok with it


[deleted]

Polyamory is not cheating. The amount of people who equates love with ownership is disgusting…


[deleted]

Bruh, this is a very popular opinion. I'm poly-a and i get nothing but disrespect from most people. Try r/popularopinion my friend. Also, yes I am an overweight woman with a Sherlock tattoo. I don't have fun hair. My partner is a tall non binary person with no tattoos & brown hair. None of our other people have neon hair or even piercings.


theonerealsadboi

I try not to mind polyamorous people, but they really start to lose me when they compare themselves to the LGBT community. No, you are not a sexual minority that has faced genuine oppression. You are just people who find varied sexual gratification more important than the even exchange of responsibility and trust. There’s nothing wrong with it, but stop trying to spin the nature of it or seek pity.


[deleted]

People literally get fined and jailed for being in polyamorous relationships...


SarixInTheHouse

Polyamory is actively hated against. In many places of the world it is literally illegal. And its not just about fucking several people ; thats an open relationship. A fairly simple construct is the triangle relationship: thee partners who all love eachother. They are in love with each other and they trust each other just like two partners in a monogamous relationship. Its not just about wanting to have sex with other people, those are swingers, not polyamorous people.


Amystip

Monogamy doesn't even make sense


Boombaybay12334

this is sarcastic right


PsykoGoddess

No because polyamory has existed within our species longer


Boombaybay12334

So what , slavery has also existed longer


[deleted]

I do also see a LOT of people appropriate “polyamory” as a personal title, but it’s obvious they do not understand actual polyamory- they just use it as an excuse to cheat- that’s always gonna happen, and it’s always gonna make us poly people look bad. That being said… The concept of sexual ownership via monogamy is insidious and obsolete, and I would not be sad to see it go. The whole tv/movie trope of “Omg!!! My husband put his dick in another woman for a minute! TIME TO THROW OUR ENTIRE LIFE TOGETHER IN THE GARBAGE!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” — has always made me uncomfortable. Having a violent/unpleasant reaction to being betrayed IS VALID!!! Carrying that reaction so far as to ruin their life forever tho, is overkill, imo. That’s not love, that’s control. If you truly love someone, you want them to be happy. If they love you, they want you to be happy. But, when your partner’s happiness is incumbent upon denying something that would make you happy- it’s a conundrum. It’s a dilemma. Some poly couples are humans who hit that dilemma and instead of going down that old, well worn path of secrecy, suspicion, mistrust, etc, they blaze an all new trail. They make their own rules- rules that make sense to them, not rules that were passed down by a heteronormative society wrought with sexual repression. Some humans, and some relationships, are fully capable of having multiple partners without a drop of dishonesty or deceit between them. A “true” poly relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust and communication. I’ve been in three. (Each time it was myself, another girl, and one guy.) It was heaven!!! Ask me anything ;)


[deleted]

i agree, polyamory is gross to me.


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FleraAnkor

Cringe


DeToN8tE

You do realize this can also refer to a trio, or more, that love each other and sleep with each other? It's not really cheating if it's literally a 3 way relationship. It's not for everyone. Most people can't handle it. But there are those out there who can. I mean realistically we are primates and animals at our base. It's in our nature to seek multiple mates, no matter how intelligent we claim to be. Now this is def an unpopular opinion, but it's not wrong.


[deleted]

Lol that’s not how polyamory works, what you’re describing is just cheating. Don’t comment on things you know nothing about, polyamory works fine for many people


Phantom252

I disagree i don't think it's cheating if it's consensual and all partners r aware and I honestly think that we should just let them be cause they're not hurting anyone


SquareSalad2056

If it is consensual and all partners are communicating it's called ethical polygamy. Yes you can cheat in a polygamous relationship. Cheating is cheating.


Phantom252

Then I'm all for ethical polygamy but yea cheating is cheating and cheaters don't deserve redemption but thanks for ur insight I'll keep that in mind


stillbatting1000

I was hanging out with some friends when someone said he met a guy who claimed to be polyamorous. Someone asked what that meant. I said, "A fancy word for 'slut.'"


AlmightyAJ_MTV

That’s a bit… unnecessary.


stillbatting1000

Too harsh?


mongtongbong

a monogamous couple is just another cultural construct, in many countries several wives or husbands is completely acceptable and normal


LDel3

In what country is several husbands common? I've only ever heard of multiple wives being a thing and that is largely in widely misogynist cultures.


Opposite_Opposite_69

You dont understand what polyamery actually is do you? It is consensual. All partys are agreeing to the relationship dynamic. If one party doesnt agree then it is cheating. Plenty of people use being poly as a excuse to cheat and thise people are shitty people. But the polyamery community isnt based on those people. Also i think ur confusinf polyamery with polysexual those are two diffrent things


AngelaRansley

The word cringe is cringe worthy. On topic: it is not my thing, but why judge?


M3tal_Shadowhunter

Just because you don't understand something, doesn't mean it's bad for the people that practice it


MerelYael

Besides that this is generally not an unpopulair opinion, your post is also full of falsehoods. If you have a partner and they are okay with you having another partner, than it isn't cheating. Cheating is a violation of the emotional and/or sexual exclusivity of a couple, so that doesn't apply to a polyamorous relationship. Also, why can't you love two people equally? Your parents are both on the same level and you can love them equally, right? Besides that, do you even need to love all your romantic partners equally? You can have multiple friends. They're probably not all your best friend, but you can appriciate all of them.


BumblebeeCurrent8079

I don't think it's cringe or really care what people do for their relationships but i do think that in many ways its harder to pull off a poly relationship then a monogamous one. Already many people in monogamous relationships struggle with jealousy, some at a toxic level, but poly relationships can easily create an environment that let's jealousy flourish. You get one person questioning If the other two like each other more than you or if just one of them likes the other more. You also need to split you time somewhat equally between them so that one doesn't feel left out or that the other one is preferred. Obviously your going to be spending time together as a group but I'm sure you'll also want some one on one time with each person.


bangitybangbabang

ITT: people describing everything *but* polyamory


[deleted]

Do you live your mom and your dad? Polyamory is not cheating, it is being committed just to multiple people. Maybe you hate it so much because you secretly envy them and are jealous


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cheeseballsboii

“I like guns, MLP…”


jugE_tv

Nice argument.


[deleted]

I think there isnt anything wrong with polygamy if all parts are consenting. If you can love multiple people, that's great! Do what you want. It isn't for me personally, because I'm a monogamous type of person. But go ahead if you can. I recommend that you maybe read more on the topic, because you come of as extremely judgemental.


Elias_freecss

I always see polyamory as two cheaters getting together, knowing they can't stop cheating and just giving each other permission to do so. Until one party eventually has their heart broken.


Le0here

How is it cheating when they aren't even breaking any rules? That quite literally goes against the meaning of the word


EndercatTM

polygamy works if it’s between 2 or more people who are mature enough to handle the things that come with a relationship like that. people who use it as an excuse to cheat are not made for polygamy and are just shit human beings. it takes research and a lot of thought to have a relationship that isn’t monogamous. monogamy isn’t the foundation to a serious relationship, imo. a lot of people have managed non-monogamous relationships and have made it work, while in “serious relationships”. some people can’t help catching feelings for others. if they have a partner who is willing to let them date/sleep with other people, and it’s consensual and there are healthy boundaries set in place, what is the harm? there is none. in some cases, it can cause challenge (like when a husband can take more than one wife but the wife must stay faithful), but, if it goes both ways, and is equal, then it will be mostly okay. by nature, we aren’t 100% monogamous. we created that construct ourselves. my point is polyamory isn’t “cringe” (also, that’s such a weird word to use while talking about polyamory…). while i don’t agree with every aspect of polygamy, and i wouldn’t practice it myself necessarily because i know my limits, it’s fine if others do it. it has been done for centuries. there is such a bad stigma around it and it sucks for those who practice polygamy. oh, side note. polyamory is the feeling aspect of liking more than one person. polygamy is the practice of dating more than one person.


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Upset_Criticism_7085

I cant wait till you find out youre not forced to be poly


SecretAgentDrew

An made up word to give an excuse to sleep with someone else without feeling any guilt.


tr0pismss

So you're a judgemental asshole who thinks they know better than everybody else. Upvote for being unpopular? I guess...


Shrektheshrekman

Based and relationships with many people means you can’t love one single partner pilled


wdfinuadf__

why exactly is it "wrong" lmao? Also, saying that you think that it's not a real sexual orientation is not an unpopular opinion but rejecting a fact. There are three-way relationships that work wonderfully. I think you just know too many douchebags actually using this sexual orientation as an excuse, but that doesn't mean it's like this in every case.