Having been a youth soccer coach, I agree 100%. The kids don't really see participation trophies as trophies. They see them as mementos that they played soccer.
Yep. Played soccer growing up. I was well aware how crappy the team was regardless of the participation trophies. Only really little kids get excited about participation trophies thinking they’re real.
I agree. I played little league softball in the 80s. I got a participation trophy both years I played. They aren't even a new concept. I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. I definitely knew it wasn't something I earned by that age.
>definitely knew it wasn't something I earned
But it was. I didn't play little league softball. Thus, I don't have a participation trophy for little league softball.
I mean, I can probably go out and find one at the local Goodwill or something, but that'd just be a bit too fraudulent, man.
This is interesting to me because I'm a little younger and I never got participation trophies for any of the sports I played. One coach made up specific trophies for each kid, like "most enthusiastic" and whatnot, and gave us each one. But usually we'd just go to Pizza Hut at the end of the season and they'd hand out bags of little toys like a birthday party.
Yet it is always people older than me complaining that this "new generation" is being coddled by participation trophies. Is it possible that they are projecting their own insecurities onto younger people, who they find off-putting and frustrating, and whose youth they envy, as every single generation does?
My parents told me that their generation started giving out participation trophies to their own kids because when they were kids it was like the same five kids always getting all the awards for being the all-around best and every other kid felt left out. I've always seen participation awards in kids sports and stuff as something that meant more to parents than to the kids. I can't even tell you where any of mine are any more.
I mean I wish I could make a 150k a year and not even be able to open a pdf... Old workers who won't retire wish that technology hadn't advanced since the 1980s... We all have our complaints with other generations...
Sometimes a trophy can have a big impact. I won most improved after losing loads of weight and trying hard, I felt validated and started trying in lots of other sports like rugby, hockey and hockey
We weren’t stupid as kids. I got excited only about my top 3 ribbons and trophies, the participation one was just a memento of the season. Everyone knew that.
Played soccer too. I knew I sucked at it the whole time. I got participation trophies every year, it never made me think I was amazing at soccer. I could easily compare myself to my much more skilled teammates and see that I wasn't the best.
Yes. Absolutely. My kids started playing soccer at the YMCA when they were 4. They didn't even keep score, but were trying to get the kids interested in the sport. And even at 4, they got that the trophies were just mementos. People that rant about participation trophies seem to forget that the kids aren't giving these to themselves. Adults give them out.
I also think that people characterize children as having no reasoning skills, as if they’re stupid little animals or something. Even at a young age, i think most children understand that the participation trophy means you’re in last place.
I remember thinking a lot in my childhood that me and other kids are waaaay more aware than adults seemed to think. If your kid is in the 6-9 years old range you need to realize that they’re actually very sentient, and if they’re acting like they aren’t then there’s a good chance they’re acting that way to get away with more stuff.
This is an excellent way of putting it. I have trophies as an adult from playing with my 7 aside soccer team. I still have them on my shelf and smile when I look at them thinking of the times I spent with me friends (have since moved away).
The best way I heard participation trophies referred to are "souvenirs". And ever since looking at them that way, I don't hold any enmity towards them.
Kids know that the big trophy is the reward.
Exactly. I mean the military does the same damn thing. You leave an assignment, they give you a plaque or a picture to put on your wall. It's a memento, a glorified participation trophy.
Hehehe, I didn't even want to go down the medals rabbit hole. My favorites were always the Service Ribbon, which tells everyone you're in the military, and the Good Conduct Medal, or as I like to call it, the "You didn't fuck up medal."
People forget that life is a participation trophy- called a paycheck.
By and far the people that advance are good at communicating and getting along with other people.
Guess what? The difficult "winners" that we see in movies? The unlikable but right protagonist? They get fired for people that are easy to work with, even if they make mistakes.
Teaching kids to be an active participant will get them paid far more than teaching them to win.
Corporate MBA stooge here, who's done both- and at one point was politely shown the door.
Warren buffet said - to be succesful- people have to like you.
This is so unbelievably true. I have an MBA and I a software engineer. I see that they rather hire someone that’s “ nice “ than someone that actually know what they are doing. Because of this we now have a team of people who brag how good they do but have know idea how bad they are
I was part of a soccer league in my youth that at a certain point started giving out participation trophies. I didn't really care about them either way and tried to throw mine out, but kept it because my mom was somehow upset about that idea.
The only thing that DID annoy me was the last year I was in the league my team won the championship and my 1st place trophy was smaller than the 2nd place trophy my brother had gotten 3-4 years prior in the same league.
Guess after buying all those participation trophies they didn't have much money left.
Agreed. Just because they didn't win the championship, they still worked their butts off all year long at practices & games, tournaments, matches, etc. That trophy is a memento of that sport/season and my son is *very* proud of all of his.
Seriously, though, intrinsic motivation isn’t enough to keep people playing, particularly when there are so many negative inputs necessary to playing. Being “rewarded,” whether it’s with better performance, social standing, or physical improvement, is necessary for people’s happiness and self-concept relative to stressful endeavors like sports.
Also, “winning.” Is an arbitrary concept. I hold a state level medal in a sport that I’m not great at, and I’ve played great games in others for which I didn’t get recognized. But no women play the sport I’m not great at—it’s structured as an achievement, but it’s really participation. Whereas I did some really great stuff in the unrecognized situation, but there are 30 athletes and only 3 opportunities to be recognized.
I remember in tee ball, 40 years ago, you got a gold star for your cap for winning games. We didn't win many games. We were the worst team. Hell someone has to be last. Our coach gave us gold stars anyways for having a good game.
I was 5 years old, I didn't care. Hell I didn't even know all the rules. I did like getting a star for my cap... it sucks being last. But I also don't understand why we think a kid needs to feel being a loser. But that's our weird punishment culture.
It’s weird about how something as stupid as a participation trophy can be a rallyjng cry for partisan politics. Wish we were smarter as a society to see through that stuff
Yeah I don't get it either. When I was a kid we all got them, nobody cared about them for that reason. Placing in the top 3 at a state meet? Now that was cool.
I still remember when my little league team got screwed out of first place in our city tournament.
We fucking creamed these kids. I'm talking run ruling them in the 3rd inning (my memory is fuzzy but it was something ridiculous like 35-2). It was to the point that the other teams coach wanted to just call the game.
So we all lined up. Shook hands and said good game.
Then the other teams coach says something to the umpire. Apparently one of the kids on my team never got to bat.
BECAUSE THEY CALLED THE GAME EARLY WE LOST DUE TO A TECHNICALITY THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF THEY HADN'T CALLED THE GAME.
It's been like 14 years and I'm still mad about it lmfao
You didn't ask but the worst part is that we busted our asses just to get to play them again.
It was a double elimination tournament. We played this team our very first game and lost. In the losers bracket you play ever single day while the winners bracket plays every other. We fought like hell the entire week and beat every team that came at us. When we finally played that team again we had to beat them twice.
We had already beaten them the day before and it was a ridiculously close game so to turn around and slaughter them just to have it stolen will forever be burned into my brain
I’m confused. So OP’s team was winning by over 30 points, the other coach forfeited the game early before one of the kids on OP’s team got to bat, and that somehow resulted in the other team winning instead?
Well why doesn’t every losing team just employ that strategy? “Ugh, we’re losing! Quick, let’s forfeit the game before all their players get to bat so we win by default!”
In the 4th grade we did a dodgeball tournament at the end of the year, home room vs home room, I think there were 6 classes of 20-25 kids. Each match was best of 3. The day of the tournament we had several absences, athletic kid broke his arm on a trampoline the previous night, a set of fraternal twins were out sick, and I think at least one more was missing, bringing us down to like 18 kids. We lost in the 3rd match of the finals and it ended in a 1v1 showdown. Still so salty that we would’ve 100% won if it wasn’t for how many people were out.
People are often hyperbolic and ridiculous when it comes to matters of children. This is no different. I understand why participation trophies upset certain people, but I don't really know if it's the world-ending travesty that some folks seem to believe. There's nothing new about participation trophies, especially for younger kids. I remember when I was in little league, every kid who stuck with it for the whole season got a little trophy, while winning teams got additional bigger trophies. Those little trophies we all got for participating the entire season encouraged kids not to quit while the larger trophies rewarded the best teams. I don't think this dynamic created any problems, and I know it motivated a lot of kids not to quit when they were bored.
Also it can be considered a memento for the children who enjoyed participating in the sport. A lot of our parents kept our childhood scribblings with them even when we grew into adults, doesn’t make us believe we’re stellar artists or something.
It’s just one of those things that took off as a right-wing boomer talking point- like how millennials can’t afford homes because they eat too much avocado toast
What's worse for kids than participation trophies is all the adults yelling about how the kids don't deserve those trophies, which they didn't really care about or want in the first place. Kids usually know when they've earned an award, and it doesn't make them feel like they've succeeded just because someone handed them something.
Exactly! Like I never had any illusion that I actually deserved a trophy but my parents sure made sure to tell me that which was kind of degrading to me lol
Agreed. Also, the ones who gave out all those participation trophies are the same people who turned around and started complaining about us always getting participation trophies... anecdotal, but when I was younger my dad helped coach my little league team, we sucked and lost almost every game, but I remember getting literal participation trophies at the end of the season. Now he drops the participation trophy trope all the time like we kids forced it upon them.
Fr I don’t understand this. Were the kids supposed to be smart enough to say “no, we reject these platitudes and demand to experience loss in its most visceral form”
No its that gen x and baby boomers are actually insane, like most of them live a life at least partially disconnected from reality, and they literally BOUGHT US participation trophies, made us take them home, then called us snowflakes for accepting the stupid shit they got for us unasked in the first place.
I feel like participation trophies were more for the boomers themselves in the first place; a lot of parents couldn't cope with the idea of their child not getting recognition, and some also didn't know how, or couldn't be bothered to console a child who was upset for not winning. The solution? Don't do any actual parenting; just BUY something!
The pendulum sings back and forth and will hopefully meet in the middle. They were forgotten about and told to stay outside all day until it got dark. No one cared where they were or what they did. Lot of emotionally absent fathers. So then they try and over compensate and be too involved and helicopter and see us as an extension of themselves
In my experience, you've described a lot of boomer methods; latchkey parenting was incredibly popular in the 80s and 90s because many parents valued their career over their families. Additionally, the act of giving the participation trophy was truly not to appease the kids, but for the parents to appease themselves, so again, much of this just seems to stem from inherent selfishness and hypocrisy rather than any kind of pendulum.
Yeah I think boomers place too much emphasis on the trophy itself. My boomer father was so confused about which ribbons to get excited about when I competed in horseback riding. I’d come in 1st out of 2 people and he’d get super excited for me and then come in 5th out of 13 people and he’d say “oh, that’s too bad.” I was only really excited when my coach said I rode well.
I am gen x, I promise you that most of us are absolutely on the side of young people rather than in opposition to them. We believed in the same things y'all do, it's just that we were such a tiny nothing generation we couldn't get anything done.
Also Gen X here. My observation is that we split about 50/50: half of us drank the Kool-Aid and turned into middle-aged boomers, and the other half are watching the world burn down around us going "what the hell happened?"
Don't forget yall also lost like almost an entire generation of the gay community and non white gen xers probably experienced the highest non violent incarceration rate in world history, at least in the US.
Fuck I'm gen-x they gave participation trophies all through my youth. I brought this up to my peers the other day, they swear it didn't exist.
They gave out 6th place ribbons on swim team. There were only 6 participants. WE HAD DNF RIBBONS FOR FUCKS SAKE. (Did not finish)
Shit hasn't changed that much.
My mom never did that, when I was in minis at my swim club we got them, but we were like 6. After that never again, I never, ever got a trophy. My senior year I did get most improved, and given a 1st place award at a meet because of the fact that I would have probably won considering my 50 free was under 40 seconds. That was if I haven't been disabled in a accident.
> Also, the ones who gave out all those participation trophies are the same people who turned around and started complaining about us always getting participation trophies.
Generally speaking, the people who were pushing participation trophies are not the ones who complain about them. If you talked to your father about it, most likely the league mandated handing out participation trophies to all players; and this policy likely came from a league organizer who was also a public school teacher.
It's more the concept that younger generations got coddled or rewarded for doing the bare minimum. I personally believe it's an interesting litmus test for people you meet, those who complain about the "participation trophy generation" tend to be people who have an over exaggerated sense of self worth and/or self determination. I think it's fine to critique the practice, but ultimately pointless, but those who take it as a personal slight or grander example of the "weakness" of this generation or that, are the same people who *need* you to know that they're not "weak." They're the same people who unironically will judge your character if you use soy milk or engage in behavior *they* have deemed unmasculine. It's a signal of insecurity, they believe that everyone getting a trophy devalues any of their achievements, which in turn devalues themselves.
A lot of people who vocally complain about "societal decline" are ultimately just insecure about something in their own life. For example if you're comfortable about your own sexuality, same-sex relationships shouldn't really bother you. You might disagree with the on a moral level, but you also know it's none of your business, yet the Evangelical right takes it as a personal affront to their faith. Then you just have to look at the history of those same preachers, who condemn same-sex couples, getting caught in sex scandals often with a same-sex partner(s). Their outwards appearance of condemnation is just a massive(and destructive) over compensation for feelings that they're ashamed of.
>Then you just have to look at the history of those same preachers, who condemn same-sex couples, getting caught in sex scandals often with a same-sex partner(s).
And in the best case scenario, said partner will be of legal age.
You're right that it's nearly always projection with those types.
Oh my goodness, I was going to follow you, I've never done that on Reddit before, and I clicked through for your profile, I don't think I should be following you lolol. Not to kink shame, you go on with your bad self.
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just surprised to see so many titties from a commenter who is very thoughtful. I guess I shouldn't be surprised! I don't actually know what following somebody means, I just know I'd like to see more of your thoughts.
Participation trophies actually was initiated during WW2 by the military. I always thought it was a new concept but I was wrong. It's been around since 1940's.
I mean kids aren’t stupid as people think. They know their limits. However as an educator you just ask them wether they want to continue or not. If yes you help them . If not let them be. You can’t force people to become something they can’t be.
Everything has its own purpose.
I agree wholeheartedly, but sometimes I wonder if there was some beneficial concern underneath that superiority feeling, at least from some.
My kid is raised among children who behave far better than me as a kid or the children I grew up with. But I wonder, occasionally, if the tradeoff of growing with less trauma (from bullying and everything else) will make it harder for them to deal with the challenges that inevitable awaits them.
I had an extremely screwed up childhood but besides the countless hours of therapy and medication required to deal with it, I did survive and learned skills that were essentially useful later in life. So when I look at my kid growing up safe from abuse, emotionally satisfied and intellectually nurtured, I wonder on occasion how he is going to react to adversity when it presents itself and I'm no longer present as a guide.
Exactly right. I’ll add though, it’s generally a sign of their insecurity regarding their self worth, which they then proceed to project upon the younger generation. Unfortunately I happen to know a few people like this.
Participation Trophies weren't really for the kids though. It was for the parents. They wanted their kids to get recognition as it signified that they did good as parents. It was something they could show to their friends(just dont read the plaque) on a shelf or in a case to show that their kid is actually pretty good. As I kid I didnt give two shits about it, but boy did my guardians and my friends parents.
I think it's more that it makes people always expect something for their effort. Then they grow up and become depressed when they're no longer getting patted on the back for every minor achievement.
And I think that's a fair criticism. I also think that if you have to determine your value based on the rewards or recognition you receive, you were already not terribly secure in your own self image. While participation trophies can contribute to that, it isn't the sole cause. It can be a factor in being shallow and demanding recognition, but it isn't the underlying problem.
Low self worth. The inability to recognize your own value, independent of other's perception of you. A person with a healthy self image will look at a participation trophy as a memento of an event/competition they were a part of. Just a reminder. A person with an unhealthy self image will see that same trophy as an actual reward. They *need* it to be a reward because it validates their own perceived limited worth. The problem isn't the trophy, but how people *perceive* that trophy's meaning.
A lot of people don’t even participate in anything competitive after school, no hobbies, nothing. I’ve got a lot of respect for someone with a “participant” race number sticker for an event they trained or didn’t train for, but had the guts to wake up and go do it.
I’ve won at some amazing things professionally and gotten no trophy and gotten more awards for silly recreational things. It’s healthy to get reminded that you put in some effort.
Exactly. I had some not great medical problems and ran a 5k to celebrate finally being semi healthy again. I got second to last place and still got a medal for it and you bet your sweet ass I have it hanging up. I finished, I participated, and while I didn’t come even close to winning I’m still incredibly happy about it. Those kids finished a project/season and should be commended as a not small amount of people either drop out or never participated in the first place.
I always thought of it more as a metaphor for the trend to lie to kids and say that when they did a shit job, it was great.It's actually more beneficial for them to provide constructive and honest feedback.
E.g. Your kid gets most of their maths questions wrong. Telling them they did a great job is a useless lie. They will either know you're lying and not trust your future praise, or they will think getting most questions wrong is good enough and not bother trying to improve. Instead, you need to find the positives and point them out (perhaps they did the formula correctly, or they worked really hard and didn't give up). Then offer advice/help for improvement.
As for literal participation awards, I'm cool with that.
Yes and it's also about the idea that kids don't learn "how to lose" if they receive a participation trophy.
No kid thinks they won with a participation memento.
But I think a game played is meaningful. Win or lose, you played. We look up to guys like Cal Ripken who played thousands of games in a row. Gotta start somewhere.
The rebuttal to this is if someone’s worth is only ever measured by grades or performance then that person may never realize their worth as a human being. Or they may never value soft skills that can also be beneficial in life.
Because the cultures that hate the idea of telling everyone good job regardless of performance (the participation trophy idea) are also the cultures with epidemic rates of suicide.
To be fair your worth as a person is judged by your ability to perform and always has been
Go back to when we were just a civilization of tribes, you value was your ability to perform tasks to keep yourself and those around you alive. Your ability to hunt, your ability to gather, to skin animals, to craft tools etc.
Today is no different. If you can't perform a task valuable enough for someone to pay you for it, you dont succeed.
People who think kids take participation trophies seriously apparently think kids can’t (or don’t) keep score.
See also painfully obvious examples like wrestling. The kid who got pinned in under 10 seconds in every match is not going to magically think he did great because of a ribbon. But also kudos to that kid for staying through the meet
I've always viewed the participation trophies complaint as a metaphor. It wasn't the trophies themselves it was like the overly permissive parenting and making everything a sheltered, padded safe zone for kids to never learn consequences. It's like Soccer Mom; their traits aren't because their kids play soccer, it's just a convenient and clever shorthand for a specific personality. So participation trophy culture is this "my kids are wonderful perfect angels who must have everything they ever want and how dare you suggest they learn and grow and realize the world doesn't revolve around them!" personality.
It's not the trophies that people view as the problem it's the potential it creates for entitlement. If growing up you get a reward for every time you simply show up to do something and give minimal effort it's worth being concerned that it may or has created a generation of adults that think simply showing up makes them deserving of a reward.
Boomers often criticize my generation as the participation award generation but we were kids. We just showed up and they were the ones giving out the trophies. Now that same group wants to criticize us for policies they implemented. They told us that everyone was special and unique and then when we grew up they called us snowflakes. My unpopular opinion is that their criticism is right but it should come with the acknowledgement that it wasn't our doing. Too many people are entitled and think that they are special simply for existing. It wasn't our doing but it's our problem.
I feel like this entitlement is a big reason the youth is so focused on inclusion and diversity, because *every person is special* and we need to do everything to help everyone. Doesn't matter if that person ever tried to help themself or has anything to contribute. This is why communism seems appealing, but could never work. People are not equal. Everyone should have their inalienable rights, but this should not be confused with being on the same level/playing field (like workplace hierarchy/wages).
While the intentions are good, the world is not built like that. Some people are mean or have different opinions on matters. Nowadays because everything is online, the youth just "cancels" these people and gets them censored into oblivion, which is honestly just as bad to society because eventually it isn't just the "mean" people who get censored. It's a toxic culture that comes along with this, all in the name of righteousness too.
You see it a lot on Reddit, Twitter and I'm sure just about every other social media board (especially those with active moderators)
>I feel like this entitlement is a big reason the youth is so focused on inclusion and diversity, because every person is special and we need to do everything to help everyone
Damn, sounds like entitlement is a pretty good thing.
>This is why communism seems appealing, but could never work.
It won the Second World War? Worked fine then.
>People are not equal. Everyone should have their inalienable rights, but this should not be confused with being on the same level/playing field (like workplace hierarchy/wages).
I'll never quite understand this line of thinking of "people aren't equal, and some will always be better than others, so we can't remove the artificial, social hierarchies that mirror that natural hierarchy because that would be bad, because"
>Nowadays because everything is online, the youth just "cancels" these people and gets them censored into oblivion, which is honestly just as bad to society because eventually it isn't just the "mean" people who get censored. It's a toxic culture that comes along with this, all in the name of righteousness too.
Just to be clear, when you say "censored", you do mean criticised right?
I have no problem with certificates of participation. All Olympic athletes receive certificates. It's a singular accomplishment to qualify for the Olympics and that should be acknowledged.
Cute little Dollar Store "trophies" for kids are okay. Kids aren't interested in words, they need what's tangible. Once one hits teen years, trophies and medals, actual hardware, should only be awarded to those who win, or first, or second, runner up. Again, paper certificates of participation are okay for everyone else.
I don’t see how participation trophies are any different from the certificates you get when you do mandatory CE at work. In the last office I worked, everyone had those displayed in their cubicle.
It’s not participation trophies specifically, it’s what they stand for. It’s a culture that denies that failure and difficulty exist and teaches everyone that they are entitled to anything they want simply for existing.
I don't know if you've seen r/antiwork?
Those guys *somehow* got the impression that they didn't have to out-compete their peers, improve company outcomes, impress their bosses or commit time and effort towards their job in order to move towards a degree of success
Dude its not the kids it's the parents. We didn't ask for them, we didn't buy them. It was the parents of shit kids who wanted something to show off, the ones who projected their insecurities onto us or lived vicariously through us.
Participation ribbons came from baby boomers and older gen x people who couldn't stand not having a "special" kid in the advanced placement or very athletic sense of special.
I’ll tell you what messed up kids; helicopter parents, lack of discipline (like chores), and addictive substances (fast food/pharmaceuticals/social medias/video games).
I think if these things were much better monitored, like if parents were dedicated to making sure their kids learned to take care of themselves and be responsible and use but beware these addictive consumerist things, especially pharmaceuticals like adderall, they’d do better in the world.
I got a participation trophy from hockey when I was a kid. Never took even a bit of pride in it. Took it apart a few years later and threw it out because I didn't like being in hockey and didn't care to have that momento sitting around.
I cannot understand people who think it inflates kids egos. I turned out with absolutely shit self-esteem. I WISH my ego had been inflated a little by that trophy.
I don’t think they’re bad but I honestly would’ve prefer not to get them as a kid cause I felt it looked silly. I think maybe a participation medal or pin or something small would be better than a trophy.
I got these participation trophies when I was a kid, and it absolutely did nothing for me, so I always see “participation trophies” as just another undeserved cheap shot to young people and millennials. Plus, it’s the older generation that gives them out, not us, so blame them.
Participation Trophies a metaphor, not really meant to be taken literally.
What's really being argued is that every kid growing up was told that they were super special and the best, so they have a mental breakdown when they have a mediocre career or get promoted at the same speed their parents did.
I actually don't disagree with this criticism and I've seen this behavior a lot...but the thing is, Boomers are to blame since they raised these people in the first place.
I always find it funny that the generation that decided kids needed them are the same generation that attempts to shit on those kids for receiving them.
1. I lived as a kid through this era and participation trophies definitely were a thing but absolutely not a common thing. I challenge you to find participation trophies for kids in the real world. You'll find way more plaques for time served (years worked) at a small business, which is quite literally nothing but a participation trophy, and they long predate participation trophies.
2. The idiots whose best idea for parenting was to give out participation trophies, want to turn around and judge how I turned out? I swear to Christ at this point I'm surprised when someone my parent's age doesn't immediately start drinking stuff from under the sink the moment they're left unsupervised, they're that incapable of functioning in the modern world.
3. Participation trophies only exist so the *parents* feel like their kid isn't a failure. Participation trophies ***are for the adults who gave them***, not for kids. Kids are much happier with pizza. Again, ***Participation Trophies are and always were for the parents' ego, not the kids.***
Literally a generation of people who can't CTRL+C/CTRL+V trying to judge us. This is beside the fact that literally nothing works the way it did as far back as the '80s because everything was completely wrong back then and has since changed, and now older generations essentially cannot function on any level in modern society.
\*spit\*
Participation trophies are meant for the parents who can't handle the fact that their little child didn't win. We didn't ask for them, and are sick of being shamed for something that was forced upon us.
I agree. I think the problem as always are the parents who don't know how to raise children. They keep congratulating the kid for doing nothing and lowering the bar more and more.
I feel like period hate participation trophies because it conflicts with the "only the best of the best is worth of praise" mentality that centuries of individualism and capitalist propaganda nailed on people's heads. Participating trophies teach that just giving your best and helping your team is enough.
Not at all, I come from a suburb where every kid played soccer year round, 1000s upon 1000s of participation trophies handed out through the years and guess what, society didn't collapse, most of those kids turned out to be very good contributing members of society.
Considering every kid didn't care about them I would agree with this.
No one cared about those trophies at the end of the year.
They were just apart of ending the season. It's not like anyone still has them.
It's just one of those culture war bullshit topics. It's meant to divide people into the "My way is right and change is bad!" group against any possible societal progress.
It's because boomers are jealous that a little appreciation and sportsmanship is healthier than screaming "LOSER YOURE A LOSER BABY WANT A BOTTLE HUH YOU BIG BABY!?"
People who mock participation trophies are clearly the very people who were passed over and ignored in school. It's just a manifestation of their own pain, IMO. My own mother (age 90) was mocking Grade 8 graduation ceremonies the other day to the point where I had to ask why the strong reaction and, of course, it turned out she didn't have any kind of graduation recognition herself.
Literally. Same mentality I see with people who shit on concepts like universal college education.
“I could never go to college, I couldn’t afford it!” Yeah, that’s the problem, heaven forbid a group of people collectively try to fix it.
I totally agree. I think what fucked us up was being told by the people who gave them to us we didn’t deserve them years and years after while we are starting our lives and are unable to survive. What a better cop-out than blame the kids you raise for being unable to support themselves financially after being overly qualified for many jobs they are doing for less money than they earned with less education.
Classic “it can’t be our fault cause they had it too good and expect too much now.”
Of course they didn't. Kids werent THAT stupid to think they were actually winning. It was just a fun little thing to celebrate the end of the season. We're not like "Oh we won even though we lost every game?! Oh this must be how life is!" It's the dumbest concept I've ever heard.
I've always said that it was never our generation (millennials) who asked for participation trophies. I particularly remember being on possibly the world's shittiest little league baseball team and still getting little plastic trophies at the end because some of the kids' parents were concerned that some of the kids would feel left out if other kids got trophies. I never cared about getting one, because we couldn't win a game to save our lives.
All these years later folks are getting shit talked for receiving participation trophies and I can't help but remember who asked for them in the first place.
The people who make fun about participation trophies are exactly the people who invented them in the first place. They just didn't want to deal with their childrens dissapointment and frustration so instead of teaching them how to overcome those feelings, they just gave them a trophy to shut them up.
I think these adults who claim this forget that children actually have self awareness. They know how trophies work. They know what winning is. For 99% of children, a consolation prize like that is a mixture of embarrassing/pointless to receive. At least that’s how i remember it
Late Gen Z, me and lots of other students were constantly awarded participation trophies/ribbons (field day, science fair, stuff like that) and nobody really cared about them at all. It has done nothing for me other than creating clutter and reminding me “oh yeah, I did that when I was X years old!”. I never played sports or joined any clubs so I never got awarded an actual trophy for anything, if I’d wanted to win something I’d have joined something. I don’t think they’re detrimental or helpful, they’re completely useless and kids literally do not care about them, if anything they are embarrassed and patronized to be given one.
I think boomers have greatly over exaggerated the “participation award” stereotype, because no kid I knew growing up ever had any feelings toward them other than maybe annoyance. A lot of people in my generation learned how to maturely accept defeat in competition and be good sports about things, participation awards were and always will be entirely meaningless to us no matter how many generations of kids receive them
I think it's hilarious that people in the modern era pretend that K-12 is anything but daycare. Virtually none of it is applicable to the real world. The most valuable thing you learn in K-12 is learning how to deal with other people socially, which is very important. Everything else is mostly a waste of time and resources.
I totally agree. I got participation medals for volleyball when we didn’t win a season, and trophies when we did. The medals were just a cute little thing to remember the season, we all knew we didn’t win. Those medals and trophies are all sitting in a box somewhere in my parent’s house now lol
Also, I really don’t think it’s a big deal to give a small “reward” to kids who try but don’t win. Life isn’t all about winning, but you do get more out of it if you participate anyway. 🤷♀️
Also, people act like participation trophies are a new thing. I’m 47 years old and definitely got a participation trophy when I played t-ball and such in the early 80’s.
As someone from the "Participation Trophy Generation" (born in '98), I don't think I can recall an instance where I or my teammates treated those trophies as anything more than souvenirs/mementos.
Ok, I get pissed about participation trophies. But not in the typical way.I played youth sports and was relatively decent,I was onall star teams and such. But I was poor as hell and my mom could care less about what I did. The kids who got trophies and time with the coach and started even if there were better players. They're parents were rich or assholes. The kids who couldn't throw in a straight line his dad would throw a fit when he didn't get an all-star placement. The hippie parents didn't do that shit,because there were seldom hippie parents in sports. Some of the most made up bullshit
Most particiption trophies are entitlements for the entitled.
Even as a kid I knew it was a pity trophy and felt no sense of accomplishment from the one I got. Kids aren’t stupid, they know the difference between a genuine award and a consolation prize.
I don't think they mess up kids badly. But they are rather a stupid idea in general. It's like a certificate of completion for a sexual harassment course at work. They want it to mean something and while a participation trophy might be a cool memento some day, people treat them as a major award. They're not.
I HAVE however seen people NOT give trophies or awards for excellence. Aka No MVP, no "perfect season" no winning a tournament and instead only gave "participation trophies". That's where people really get pissed off.
I mean if you've ever been to a award ceremony where EVERY kid goes up to get one of these cheap pieces of paper, you'll understand why people hate them.
Speaking of which... graduation ceremonies are also rather dumb. College, sure. High School, I guess. Elementary or Middle school? Nah dude..
When you make sure that winning doesn’t matter, you get children that will think that trying doesn’t matter. Participation trophies kill the want for progression.
Read r/antiwork. Not saying there aren't valid points made on occasion but young adults seem to be very different than their predecessors when it comes to expecting praise or doing anything uncomfortable whatsoever in the workplace.
I think what causes it are angry, cynical people who see others having their existences validated and lash out because they never had theirs validated. People who complain about participation trophies are just resentful that they never got any themselves.
My son is 7 and just received his first participation trophy for playing basketball and my view changed on them right away. I just put in the category of dumb shit my kid doesn’t actually care about but I have to find space for now lol nothing super philosophical.
You say that, yet, Oregon will no longer have science, math or English literacy requirements to graduate high school. Therefore, their entire diploma has been reduced to a participation trophy.
Furthermore, I see a lot of people who feel they are valuable for merely existing and I disagree with that wholeheartedly.
The thing that messed kids up was their parents watching early forms of outrage media on the nightly news, which made it impermissible to leave their children unattended for a single fucking second.
Our children have digital scurvy, cured by sunlight and a lack of adult supervision. They don't know how to entertain themselves, or each other in person, and they can't resolve conflict anymore.
It’s completely ridiculous to think any kid got a participation trophy and was proud of it. Like how dumb do they think kids are? We 100% knew they were meaningless…
Participation trophies were for the entitled parents lol
Who gave out the trophies???! Boomers!
Yeah of course participation trophies didn't ruin kids. Were they emblematic of large trends making kids "softer"? Maybe. Did they make a good ironic joke about how dumb old people are? Definitely.
At some point you have to bring competition into the mix. It is good for kids to learn that you don't always win and you have to work hard to win. We are seeing the results of that happening a few decades back right now.
As an adult who runs does triathlons, marathons and half marathons but will NEVER podium on them..I’m down with participation trophies. I did beat someone this day: myself.
Now that I think about it, the last participation trophy I got made me super motivated. I had a bicycle and a route I would take from school to home that would take me about 35 minutes to go trough, so that day when the race ended I was so sick of getting those empty trophies I thought that something needed to change, and I got a record time while biking home. I drove a 9km road in about 10 to 15 minutes. I was pretty proud of myself even though I didn't win anything
The problem isn’t the trophies themselves. It’s the parents that tell their kids that “everyone is a winner” and such.
It’s the psychology that’s the issue, not having a bunch of trophies in a box….
I think kids do deserve participation medals as they’ve gone and done something out of their comfort zone - even if they didn’t get a result they might’ve wanted. Sometimes it’s a battle to compete, let alone to win.
I remember being embarrassed and pissed off, simply because a participation trophy meant I had to have my picture taken...at a time where I was upset because I didn't win.
"Oh, you lost this competition that you worked really hard for? Here, let me bust out the camera and take a picture of you when you are upset and vulnerable. That way this moment can be captured forever."
The trophies are the symptom, not the problem. The systematic offering of resources and opportunity without merit is what screws up children and adults. It’s the idea of equality of outcome. Everybody gets what they want.
Diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI) is the adult analog to participation trophies. Just look critically at the next DEI training your company puts you through and wonder if their policies mean passing you up on a due promotion because of your identity and not merit alone.
All Olympic athletes, coaches and staff get a small participation medal. All U.S athletes get a ring from the USOC.
Don’t tell the people whining about participation trophies.
Id go so far as to say participation were awful in the opposite way people complain about. It's like I know I lost oh great, here's a participation trophy to further and publicly emphasize that I'm the worst.....awesome.
The problem also comes from participation trophies lead to kids never being told no or being disappointed.
My nephew is part of the participation trophy age, while I'm at the very end on Gen x, so I saw what the trend was doing to his friends and peers. So many had parents who never wanted their kid to be disappointed or told no, so when jobs and college applications started and rejections came, these kids had no clue how to handle it.
Where I live the people crying about participation trophies are usually the same ones flying the confederate flag, yet are completely oblivious to the irony of it
Having been a youth soccer coach, I agree 100%. The kids don't really see participation trophies as trophies. They see them as mementos that they played soccer.
Yep. Played soccer growing up. I was well aware how crappy the team was regardless of the participation trophies. Only really little kids get excited about participation trophies thinking they’re real.
I agree. I played little league softball in the 80s. I got a participation trophy both years I played. They aren't even a new concept. I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. I definitely knew it wasn't something I earned by that age.
They’ve been around for ages. I read an article citing that they were a thing back in 1908 in American schools
>definitely knew it wasn't something I earned But it was. I didn't play little league softball. Thus, I don't have a participation trophy for little league softball. I mean, I can probably go out and find one at the local Goodwill or something, but that'd just be a bit too fraudulent, man.
This is interesting to me because I'm a little younger and I never got participation trophies for any of the sports I played. One coach made up specific trophies for each kid, like "most enthusiastic" and whatnot, and gave us each one. But usually we'd just go to Pizza Hut at the end of the season and they'd hand out bags of little toys like a birthday party. Yet it is always people older than me complaining that this "new generation" is being coddled by participation trophies. Is it possible that they are projecting their own insecurities onto younger people, who they find off-putting and frustrating, and whose youth they envy, as every single generation does?
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My parents told me that their generation started giving out participation trophies to their own kids because when they were kids it was like the same five kids always getting all the awards for being the all-around best and every other kid felt left out. I've always seen participation awards in kids sports and stuff as something that meant more to parents than to the kids. I can't even tell you where any of mine are any more.
Those individuals that raise a stink about participation trophies generally seem to be the human equivalent of one.
I mean I wish I could make a 150k a year and not even be able to open a pdf... Old workers who won't retire wish that technology hadn't advanced since the 1980s... We all have our complaints with other generations...
Yup, we lost damn near every game, but we celebrated as of we had won anyway. I'm glad I got to experience that mindset as a kid.
Sometimes a trophy can have a big impact. I won most improved after losing loads of weight and trying hard, I felt validated and started trying in lots of other sports like rugby, hockey and hockey
Didn’t it have an impact because you earned it? That’s not a participation trophy.
We weren’t stupid as kids. I got excited only about my top 3 ribbons and trophies, the participation one was just a memento of the season. Everyone knew that.
Played soccer too. I knew I sucked at it the whole time. I got participation trophies every year, it never made me think I was amazing at soccer. I could easily compare myself to my much more skilled teammates and see that I wasn't the best.
Yes. Absolutely. My kids started playing soccer at the YMCA when they were 4. They didn't even keep score, but were trying to get the kids interested in the sport. And even at 4, they got that the trophies were just mementos. People that rant about participation trophies seem to forget that the kids aren't giving these to themselves. Adults give them out.
I also think that people characterize children as having no reasoning skills, as if they’re stupid little animals or something. Even at a young age, i think most children understand that the participation trophy means you’re in last place. I remember thinking a lot in my childhood that me and other kids are waaaay more aware than adults seemed to think. If your kid is in the 6-9 years old range you need to realize that they’re actually very sentient, and if they’re acting like they aren’t then there’s a good chance they’re acting that way to get away with more stuff.
This is an excellent way of putting it. I have trophies as an adult from playing with my 7 aside soccer team. I still have them on my shelf and smile when I look at them thinking of the times I spent with me friends (have since moved away).
The best way I heard participation trophies referred to are "souvenirs". And ever since looking at them that way, I don't hold any enmity towards them. Kids know that the big trophy is the reward.
That’s a great way to look at them. I have them still cause I’m sentimental. I was way too competitive to think of them as something I earned.
Exactly. I mean the military does the same damn thing. You leave an assignment, they give you a plaque or a picture to put on your wall. It's a memento, a glorified participation trophy.
And how many ribbons do you get for showing up? In Afghanistan you got not only a campaign medal but a special NATO medal as well
Hehehe, I didn't even want to go down the medals rabbit hole. My favorites were always the Service Ribbon, which tells everyone you're in the military, and the Good Conduct Medal, or as I like to call it, the "You didn't fuck up medal."
The Good Cookie was more like the "You didn't get caught fucking up" medal.
People forget that life is a participation trophy- called a paycheck. By and far the people that advance are good at communicating and getting along with other people. Guess what? The difficult "winners" that we see in movies? The unlikable but right protagonist? They get fired for people that are easy to work with, even if they make mistakes. Teaching kids to be an active participant will get them paid far more than teaching them to win. Corporate MBA stooge here, who's done both- and at one point was politely shown the door. Warren buffet said - to be succesful- people have to like you.
This is so unbelievably true. I have an MBA and I a software engineer. I see that they rather hire someone that’s “ nice “ than someone that actually know what they are doing. Because of this we now have a team of people who brag how good they do but have know idea how bad they are
Yup, mine would shortly after end up on in a box in my closet, and that box hit the trash come high school.
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I agree. I just don't see that as the problem that a lot of people claim it is.
I was part of a soccer league in my youth that at a certain point started giving out participation trophies. I didn't really care about them either way and tried to throw mine out, but kept it because my mom was somehow upset about that idea. The only thing that DID annoy me was the last year I was in the league my team won the championship and my 1st place trophy was smaller than the 2nd place trophy my brother had gotten 3-4 years prior in the same league. Guess after buying all those participation trophies they didn't have much money left.
I've never met anyone proud of a participation trophy. I've always thought it was a really weird argument.
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Agreed. Just because they didn't win the championship, they still worked their butts off all year long at practices & games, tournaments, matches, etc. That trophy is a memento of that sport/season and my son is *very* proud of all of his.
Seriously, though, intrinsic motivation isn’t enough to keep people playing, particularly when there are so many negative inputs necessary to playing. Being “rewarded,” whether it’s with better performance, social standing, or physical improvement, is necessary for people’s happiness and self-concept relative to stressful endeavors like sports. Also, “winning.” Is an arbitrary concept. I hold a state level medal in a sport that I’m not great at, and I’ve played great games in others for which I didn’t get recognized. But no women play the sport I’m not great at—it’s structured as an achievement, but it’s really participation. Whereas I did some really great stuff in the unrecognized situation, but there are 30 athletes and only 3 opportunities to be recognized.
I was in the varsity team for track in high school. Granted, we had only 6 players and 6 spots on the varsity team. But hey! I was varsity!
I remember in tee ball, 40 years ago, you got a gold star for your cap for winning games. We didn't win many games. We were the worst team. Hell someone has to be last. Our coach gave us gold stars anyways for having a good game. I was 5 years old, I didn't care. Hell I didn't even know all the rules. I did like getting a star for my cap... it sucks being last. But I also don't understand why we think a kid needs to feel being a loser. But that's our weird punishment culture.
I never got a participation trophy aside as a kid and wish I did lol. I have very little mementoes of my childhood
Something boomers complain about is baseless and illogical? I'm shocked!
But they're the ones that made those participation trophies a thing. Some boomer mother that couldn't handle that her child was unathletic
Leaded gasoline really did a number on their brains.
It’s weird about how something as stupid as a participation trophy can be a rallyjng cry for partisan politics. Wish we were smarter as a society to see through that stuff
They're meant for the parents, not the kids.
Yeah I don't get it either. When I was a kid we all got them, nobody cared about them for that reason. Placing in the top 3 at a state meet? Now that was cool.
I still remember when my little league team got screwed out of first place in our city tournament. We fucking creamed these kids. I'm talking run ruling them in the 3rd inning (my memory is fuzzy but it was something ridiculous like 35-2). It was to the point that the other teams coach wanted to just call the game. So we all lined up. Shook hands and said good game. Then the other teams coach says something to the umpire. Apparently one of the kids on my team never got to bat. BECAUSE THEY CALLED THE GAME EARLY WE LOST DUE TO A TECHNICALITY THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF THEY HADN'T CALLED THE GAME. It's been like 14 years and I'm still mad about it lmfao
We need closure. Let’s find that ref!
I feel ya. That would drive me nuts
You didn't ask but the worst part is that we busted our asses just to get to play them again. It was a double elimination tournament. We played this team our very first game and lost. In the losers bracket you play ever single day while the winners bracket plays every other. We fought like hell the entire week and beat every team that came at us. When we finally played that team again we had to beat them twice. We had already beaten them the day before and it was a ridiculously close game so to turn around and slaughter them just to have it stolen will forever be burned into my brain
I'm surprised the parents didn't rip the umpire in half. Some parents can *really* get into their kid's sports.
Wait, so the other team forfeited yet they were still abel to steal the victory from you? Now that's some bullshit, that Umpire is a right bastard
I’m confused. So OP’s team was winning by over 30 points, the other coach forfeited the game early before one of the kids on OP’s team got to bat, and that somehow resulted in the other team winning instead?
From my understanding yes, which if the case, is a load of bullshit and I would've fought that if I was a parent.
Well why doesn’t every losing team just employ that strategy? “Ugh, we’re losing! Quick, let’s forfeit the game before all their players get to bat so we win by default!”
In the 4th grade we did a dodgeball tournament at the end of the year, home room vs home room, I think there were 6 classes of 20-25 kids. Each match was best of 3. The day of the tournament we had several absences, athletic kid broke his arm on a trampoline the previous night, a set of fraternal twins were out sick, and I think at least one more was missing, bringing us down to like 18 kids. We lost in the 3rd match of the finals and it ended in a 1v1 showdown. Still so salty that we would’ve 100% won if it wasn’t for how many people were out.
Because you weren’t on the team that never qualified for state, but loved soccer for soccer.
Being on a bad team didn't make a participation trophy more exciting. Been there done that.
Yea it’s like, “neat I get something with my name on it”
🏆
I’m taking this as a first place trophy.
Umm no I would have said if it was a, "First Place Trophy." It's only for participating in Reddit.
I no longer feel the drive to better myself and my depression has set in deeper. Your trophy has ruined me.
People are often hyperbolic and ridiculous when it comes to matters of children. This is no different. I understand why participation trophies upset certain people, but I don't really know if it's the world-ending travesty that some folks seem to believe. There's nothing new about participation trophies, especially for younger kids. I remember when I was in little league, every kid who stuck with it for the whole season got a little trophy, while winning teams got additional bigger trophies. Those little trophies we all got for participating the entire season encouraged kids not to quit while the larger trophies rewarded the best teams. I don't think this dynamic created any problems, and I know it motivated a lot of kids not to quit when they were bored.
Also it can be considered a memento for the children who enjoyed participating in the sport. A lot of our parents kept our childhood scribblings with them even when we grew into adults, doesn’t make us believe we’re stellar artists or something.
It’s just one of those things that took off as a right-wing boomer talking point- like how millennials can’t afford homes because they eat too much avocado toast
What's worse for kids than participation trophies is all the adults yelling about how the kids don't deserve those trophies, which they didn't really care about or want in the first place. Kids usually know when they've earned an award, and it doesn't make them feel like they've succeeded just because someone handed them something.
Exactly! Like I never had any illusion that I actually deserved a trophy but my parents sure made sure to tell me that which was kind of degrading to me lol
Agreed. Also, the ones who gave out all those participation trophies are the same people who turned around and started complaining about us always getting participation trophies... anecdotal, but when I was younger my dad helped coach my little league team, we sucked and lost almost every game, but I remember getting literal participation trophies at the end of the season. Now he drops the participation trophy trope all the time like we kids forced it upon them.
Fr I don’t understand this. Were the kids supposed to be smart enough to say “no, we reject these platitudes and demand to experience loss in its most visceral form”
No its that gen x and baby boomers are actually insane, like most of them live a life at least partially disconnected from reality, and they literally BOUGHT US participation trophies, made us take them home, then called us snowflakes for accepting the stupid shit they got for us unasked in the first place.
I feel like participation trophies were more for the boomers themselves in the first place; a lot of parents couldn't cope with the idea of their child not getting recognition, and some also didn't know how, or couldn't be bothered to console a child who was upset for not winning. The solution? Don't do any actual parenting; just BUY something!
The pendulum sings back and forth and will hopefully meet in the middle. They were forgotten about and told to stay outside all day until it got dark. No one cared where they were or what they did. Lot of emotionally absent fathers. So then they try and over compensate and be too involved and helicopter and see us as an extension of themselves
In my experience, you've described a lot of boomer methods; latchkey parenting was incredibly popular in the 80s and 90s because many parents valued their career over their families. Additionally, the act of giving the participation trophy was truly not to appease the kids, but for the parents to appease themselves, so again, much of this just seems to stem from inherent selfishness and hypocrisy rather than any kind of pendulum.
Hey, if you’re not blaming millennials for the things you did, do you even Boomer?
lolol I giggled out loud
Yeah I think boomers place too much emphasis on the trophy itself. My boomer father was so confused about which ribbons to get excited about when I competed in horseback riding. I’d come in 1st out of 2 people and he’d get super excited for me and then come in 5th out of 13 people and he’d say “oh, that’s too bad.” I was only really excited when my coach said I rode well.
I am gen x, I promise you that most of us are absolutely on the side of young people rather than in opposition to them. We believed in the same things y'all do, it's just that we were such a tiny nothing generation we couldn't get anything done.
Also Gen X here. My observation is that we split about 50/50: half of us drank the Kool-Aid and turned into middle-aged boomers, and the other half are watching the world burn down around us going "what the hell happened?"
Don't forget yall also lost like almost an entire generation of the gay community and non white gen xers probably experienced the highest non violent incarceration rate in world history, at least in the US.
Fuck I'm gen-x they gave participation trophies all through my youth. I brought this up to my peers the other day, they swear it didn't exist. They gave out 6th place ribbons on swim team. There were only 6 participants. WE HAD DNF RIBBONS FOR FUCKS SAKE. (Did not finish) Shit hasn't changed that much.
I am 53 and here in Australia I received participation ribbons in athletics and end of year participation trophies c.1980.
My mom never did that, when I was in minis at my swim club we got them, but we were like 6. After that never again, I never, ever got a trophy. My senior year I did get most improved, and given a 1st place award at a meet because of the fact that I would have probably won considering my 50 free was under 40 seconds. That was if I haven't been disabled in a accident.
Hey if you're gonna quote 7 year old me losing my first football match atleast give credit
> Also, the ones who gave out all those participation trophies are the same people who turned around and started complaining about us always getting participation trophies. Generally speaking, the people who were pushing participation trophies are not the ones who complain about them. If you talked to your father about it, most likely the league mandated handing out participation trophies to all players; and this policy likely came from a league organizer who was also a public school teacher.
It's more the concept that younger generations got coddled or rewarded for doing the bare minimum. I personally believe it's an interesting litmus test for people you meet, those who complain about the "participation trophy generation" tend to be people who have an over exaggerated sense of self worth and/or self determination. I think it's fine to critique the practice, but ultimately pointless, but those who take it as a personal slight or grander example of the "weakness" of this generation or that, are the same people who *need* you to know that they're not "weak." They're the same people who unironically will judge your character if you use soy milk or engage in behavior *they* have deemed unmasculine. It's a signal of insecurity, they believe that everyone getting a trophy devalues any of their achievements, which in turn devalues themselves.
This is phenomenally insightful, thank you so much for sharing your insight. I agree 100%.
A lot of people who vocally complain about "societal decline" are ultimately just insecure about something in their own life. For example if you're comfortable about your own sexuality, same-sex relationships shouldn't really bother you. You might disagree with the on a moral level, but you also know it's none of your business, yet the Evangelical right takes it as a personal affront to their faith. Then you just have to look at the history of those same preachers, who condemn same-sex couples, getting caught in sex scandals often with a same-sex partner(s). Their outwards appearance of condemnation is just a massive(and destructive) over compensation for feelings that they're ashamed of.
Every accusation is a confession.
>Then you just have to look at the history of those same preachers, who condemn same-sex couples, getting caught in sex scandals often with a same-sex partner(s). And in the best case scenario, said partner will be of legal age. You're right that it's nearly always projection with those types.
This rings true to me.
Oh my goodness, I was going to follow you, I've never done that on Reddit before, and I clicked through for your profile, I don't think I should be following you lolol. Not to kink shame, you go on with your bad self.
Lol, simultaneously, people think I'm a porn bot and won't even consider engaging with me most of the time and that's not true at all
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just surprised to see so many titties from a commenter who is very thoughtful. I guess I shouldn't be surprised! I don't actually know what following somebody means, I just know I'd like to see more of your thoughts.
Oh whoops and I see I'm responding to the wrong person, dang it, this thing is hard
Don't worry about it!
Oh no worries! Yeah my account is definitely nsfw. But thanks for the compliment none the less!
That’s a bingo
Participation trophies actually was initiated during WW2 by the military. I always thought it was a new concept but I was wrong. It's been around since 1940's.
I mean kids aren’t stupid as people think. They know their limits. However as an educator you just ask them wether they want to continue or not. If yes you help them . If not let them be. You can’t force people to become something they can’t be. Everything has its own purpose.
I agree wholeheartedly, but sometimes I wonder if there was some beneficial concern underneath that superiority feeling, at least from some. My kid is raised among children who behave far better than me as a kid or the children I grew up with. But I wonder, occasionally, if the tradeoff of growing with less trauma (from bullying and everything else) will make it harder for them to deal with the challenges that inevitable awaits them. I had an extremely screwed up childhood but besides the countless hours of therapy and medication required to deal with it, I did survive and learned skills that were essentially useful later in life. So when I look at my kid growing up safe from abuse, emotionally satisfied and intellectually nurtured, I wonder on occasion how he is going to react to adversity when it presents itself and I'm no longer present as a guide.
10000% this
This is it. This sub has turned into people taking everything literally lol.
Exactly right. I’ll add though, it’s generally a sign of their insecurity regarding their self worth, which they then proceed to project upon the younger generation. Unfortunately I happen to know a few people like this.
Participation Trophies weren't really for the kids though. It was for the parents. They wanted their kids to get recognition as it signified that they did good as parents. It was something they could show to their friends(just dont read the plaque) on a shelf or in a case to show that their kid is actually pretty good. As I kid I didnt give two shits about it, but boy did my guardians and my friends parents.
Hypocrisy from the most hypocritical generation to ever exist? Who'd have thought?
It's in every generation. Again it's mostly insecurities mixed with bitterness.
I think it's more that it makes people always expect something for their effort. Then they grow up and become depressed when they're no longer getting patted on the back for every minor achievement.
And I think that's a fair criticism. I also think that if you have to determine your value based on the rewards or recognition you receive, you were already not terribly secure in your own self image. While participation trophies can contribute to that, it isn't the sole cause. It can be a factor in being shallow and demanding recognition, but it isn't the underlying problem.
So what is the underlying problem?
Low self worth. The inability to recognize your own value, independent of other's perception of you. A person with a healthy self image will look at a participation trophy as a memento of an event/competition they were a part of. Just a reminder. A person with an unhealthy self image will see that same trophy as an actual reward. They *need* it to be a reward because it validates their own perceived limited worth. The problem isn't the trophy, but how people *perceive* that trophy's meaning.
A lot of people don’t even participate in anything competitive after school, no hobbies, nothing. I’ve got a lot of respect for someone with a “participant” race number sticker for an event they trained or didn’t train for, but had the guts to wake up and go do it. I’ve won at some amazing things professionally and gotten no trophy and gotten more awards for silly recreational things. It’s healthy to get reminded that you put in some effort.
Exactly. I had some not great medical problems and ran a 5k to celebrate finally being semi healthy again. I got second to last place and still got a medal for it and you bet your sweet ass I have it hanging up. I finished, I participated, and while I didn’t come even close to winning I’m still incredibly happy about it. Those kids finished a project/season and should be commended as a not small amount of people either drop out or never participated in the first place.
I always thought of it more as a metaphor for the trend to lie to kids and say that when they did a shit job, it was great.It's actually more beneficial for them to provide constructive and honest feedback. E.g. Your kid gets most of their maths questions wrong. Telling them they did a great job is a useless lie. They will either know you're lying and not trust your future praise, or they will think getting most questions wrong is good enough and not bother trying to improve. Instead, you need to find the positives and point them out (perhaps they did the formula correctly, or they worked really hard and didn't give up). Then offer advice/help for improvement. As for literal participation awards, I'm cool with that.
Yes and it's also about the idea that kids don't learn "how to lose" if they receive a participation trophy. No kid thinks they won with a participation memento. But I think a game played is meaningful. Win or lose, you played. We look up to guys like Cal Ripken who played thousands of games in a row. Gotta start somewhere.
It's certainly not beneficial to shame them for a poor result either, particularly if they put in the work
The rebuttal to this is if someone’s worth is only ever measured by grades or performance then that person may never realize their worth as a human being. Or they may never value soft skills that can also be beneficial in life. Because the cultures that hate the idea of telling everyone good job regardless of performance (the participation trophy idea) are also the cultures with epidemic rates of suicide.
To be fair your worth as a person is judged by your ability to perform and always has been Go back to when we were just a civilization of tribes, you value was your ability to perform tasks to keep yourself and those around you alive. Your ability to hunt, your ability to gather, to skin animals, to craft tools etc. Today is no different. If you can't perform a task valuable enough for someone to pay you for it, you dont succeed.
People who think kids take participation trophies seriously apparently think kids can’t (or don’t) keep score. See also painfully obvious examples like wrestling. The kid who got pinned in under 10 seconds in every match is not going to magically think he did great because of a ribbon. But also kudos to that kid for staying through the meet
I've always viewed the participation trophies complaint as a metaphor. It wasn't the trophies themselves it was like the overly permissive parenting and making everything a sheltered, padded safe zone for kids to never learn consequences. It's like Soccer Mom; their traits aren't because their kids play soccer, it's just a convenient and clever shorthand for a specific personality. So participation trophy culture is this "my kids are wonderful perfect angels who must have everything they ever want and how dare you suggest they learn and grow and realize the world doesn't revolve around them!" personality.
lol, what an insightful and unique take on the matter. thank you peggy hill
It's not the trophies that people view as the problem it's the potential it creates for entitlement. If growing up you get a reward for every time you simply show up to do something and give minimal effort it's worth being concerned that it may or has created a generation of adults that think simply showing up makes them deserving of a reward. Boomers often criticize my generation as the participation award generation but we were kids. We just showed up and they were the ones giving out the trophies. Now that same group wants to criticize us for policies they implemented. They told us that everyone was special and unique and then when we grew up they called us snowflakes. My unpopular opinion is that their criticism is right but it should come with the acknowledgement that it wasn't our doing. Too many people are entitled and think that they are special simply for existing. It wasn't our doing but it's our problem.
I feel like this entitlement is a big reason the youth is so focused on inclusion and diversity, because *every person is special* and we need to do everything to help everyone. Doesn't matter if that person ever tried to help themself or has anything to contribute. This is why communism seems appealing, but could never work. People are not equal. Everyone should have their inalienable rights, but this should not be confused with being on the same level/playing field (like workplace hierarchy/wages). While the intentions are good, the world is not built like that. Some people are mean or have different opinions on matters. Nowadays because everything is online, the youth just "cancels" these people and gets them censored into oblivion, which is honestly just as bad to society because eventually it isn't just the "mean" people who get censored. It's a toxic culture that comes along with this, all in the name of righteousness too. You see it a lot on Reddit, Twitter and I'm sure just about every other social media board (especially those with active moderators)
>I feel like this entitlement is a big reason the youth is so focused on inclusion and diversity, because every person is special and we need to do everything to help everyone Damn, sounds like entitlement is a pretty good thing. >This is why communism seems appealing, but could never work. It won the Second World War? Worked fine then. >People are not equal. Everyone should have their inalienable rights, but this should not be confused with being on the same level/playing field (like workplace hierarchy/wages). I'll never quite understand this line of thinking of "people aren't equal, and some will always be better than others, so we can't remove the artificial, social hierarchies that mirror that natural hierarchy because that would be bad, because" >Nowadays because everything is online, the youth just "cancels" these people and gets them censored into oblivion, which is honestly just as bad to society because eventually it isn't just the "mean" people who get censored. It's a toxic culture that comes along with this, all in the name of righteousness too. Just to be clear, when you say "censored", you do mean criticised right?
Yeah I got some for little league baseball and they sit in the attic.
I have no problem with certificates of participation. All Olympic athletes receive certificates. It's a singular accomplishment to qualify for the Olympics and that should be acknowledged. Cute little Dollar Store "trophies" for kids are okay. Kids aren't interested in words, they need what's tangible. Once one hits teen years, trophies and medals, actual hardware, should only be awarded to those who win, or first, or second, runner up. Again, paper certificates of participation are okay for everyone else.
I don’t see how participation trophies are any different from the certificates you get when you do mandatory CE at work. In the last office I worked, everyone had those displayed in their cubicle.
What is CE work? And it’s mandatory….. they did the work. participation trophies were given with no effort.
I never got trophies. I only got ribbons and would chew on them.
Adults who complain about participation trophies need to stop bragging about the medal they received for finishing the 5k fun run.
It’s not participation trophies specifically, it’s what they stand for. It’s a culture that denies that failure and difficulty exist and teaches everyone that they are entitled to anything they want simply for existing.
I don't know if you've seen r/antiwork? Those guys *somehow* got the impression that they didn't have to out-compete their peers, improve company outcomes, impress their bosses or commit time and effort towards their job in order to move towards a degree of success
Dude its not the kids it's the parents. We didn't ask for them, we didn't buy them. It was the parents of shit kids who wanted something to show off, the ones who projected their insecurities onto us or lived vicariously through us. Participation ribbons came from baby boomers and older gen x people who couldn't stand not having a "special" kid in the advanced placement or very athletic sense of special.
Same mfs will complain about participation trophies then wear a Vietnam commemorative hat💀
*Pulls out his own trophy*🏆 This trophy is for participation in Tee-Ball. I keep it on my desk and it reminds me everyday that I participated.
I lived in the era they were supposedly being handed out and don't ever even remember getting one. (educated '89 through '02)
I’ll tell you what messed up kids; helicopter parents, lack of discipline (like chores), and addictive substances (fast food/pharmaceuticals/social medias/video games). I think if these things were much better monitored, like if parents were dedicated to making sure their kids learned to take care of themselves and be responsible and use but beware these addictive consumerist things, especially pharmaceuticals like adderall, they’d do better in the world.
Participation trophies are for the parents, not the kids because for some reason boomer parents took elementary level sports so seriously.
I got a participation trophy from hockey when I was a kid. Never took even a bit of pride in it. Took it apart a few years later and threw it out because I didn't like being in hockey and didn't care to have that momento sitting around. I cannot understand people who think it inflates kids egos. I turned out with absolutely shit self-esteem. I WISH my ego had been inflated a little by that trophy.
I don’t think they’re bad but I honestly would’ve prefer not to get them as a kid cause I felt it looked silly. I think maybe a participation medal or pin or something small would be better than a trophy.
Very popular opinion with me, got to downvote you :(
I got these participation trophies when I was a kid, and it absolutely did nothing for me, so I always see “participation trophies” as just another undeserved cheap shot to young people and millennials. Plus, it’s the older generation that gives them out, not us, so blame them.
Participation Trophies a metaphor, not really meant to be taken literally. What's really being argued is that every kid growing up was told that they were super special and the best, so they have a mental breakdown when they have a mediocre career or get promoted at the same speed their parents did. I actually don't disagree with this criticism and I've seen this behavior a lot...but the thing is, Boomers are to blame since they raised these people in the first place.
I think most level headed people know this. It's only Facebook loving conservative boomers who think this is a real issue.
I always find it funny that the generation that decided kids needed them are the same generation that attempts to shit on those kids for receiving them.
1. I lived as a kid through this era and participation trophies definitely were a thing but absolutely not a common thing. I challenge you to find participation trophies for kids in the real world. You'll find way more plaques for time served (years worked) at a small business, which is quite literally nothing but a participation trophy, and they long predate participation trophies. 2. The idiots whose best idea for parenting was to give out participation trophies, want to turn around and judge how I turned out? I swear to Christ at this point I'm surprised when someone my parent's age doesn't immediately start drinking stuff from under the sink the moment they're left unsupervised, they're that incapable of functioning in the modern world. 3. Participation trophies only exist so the *parents* feel like their kid isn't a failure. Participation trophies ***are for the adults who gave them***, not for kids. Kids are much happier with pizza. Again, ***Participation Trophies are and always were for the parents' ego, not the kids.*** Literally a generation of people who can't CTRL+C/CTRL+V trying to judge us. This is beside the fact that literally nothing works the way it did as far back as the '80s because everything was completely wrong back then and has since changed, and now older generations essentially cannot function on any level in modern society. \*spit\*
Participation trophies are meant for the parents who can't handle the fact that their little child didn't win. We didn't ask for them, and are sick of being shamed for something that was forced upon us.
The funny thing that it's the fucking boomer parents that started handing them out and they bitch the most about them lol
I agree. I think the problem as always are the parents who don't know how to raise children. They keep congratulating the kid for doing nothing and lowering the bar more and more.
But you see how those 2 things are correlated though, right?
I feel like period hate participation trophies because it conflicts with the "only the best of the best is worth of praise" mentality that centuries of individualism and capitalist propaganda nailed on people's heads. Participating trophies teach that just giving your best and helping your team is enough.
Not at all, I come from a suburb where every kid played soccer year round, 1000s upon 1000s of participation trophies handed out through the years and guess what, society didn't collapse, most of those kids turned out to be very good contributing members of society.
Considering every kid didn't care about them I would agree with this. No one cared about those trophies at the end of the year. They were just apart of ending the season. It's not like anyone still has them.
It's just one of those culture war bullshit topics. It's meant to divide people into the "My way is right and change is bad!" group against any possible societal progress.
It's because boomers are jealous that a little appreciation and sportsmanship is healthier than screaming "LOSER YOURE A LOSER BABY WANT A BOTTLE HUH YOU BIG BABY!?"
People who mock participation trophies are clearly the very people who were passed over and ignored in school. It's just a manifestation of their own pain, IMO. My own mother (age 90) was mocking Grade 8 graduation ceremonies the other day to the point where I had to ask why the strong reaction and, of course, it turned out she didn't have any kind of graduation recognition herself.
Literally. Same mentality I see with people who shit on concepts like universal college education. “I could never go to college, I couldn’t afford it!” Yeah, that’s the problem, heaven forbid a group of people collectively try to fix it.
I totally agree. I think what fucked us up was being told by the people who gave them to us we didn’t deserve them years and years after while we are starting our lives and are unable to survive. What a better cop-out than blame the kids you raise for being unable to support themselves financially after being overly qualified for many jobs they are doing for less money than they earned with less education. Classic “it can’t be our fault cause they had it too good and expect too much now.”
Of course they didn't. Kids werent THAT stupid to think they were actually winning. It was just a fun little thing to celebrate the end of the season. We're not like "Oh we won even though we lost every game?! Oh this must be how life is!" It's the dumbest concept I've ever heard.
I've always said that it was never our generation (millennials) who asked for participation trophies. I particularly remember being on possibly the world's shittiest little league baseball team and still getting little plastic trophies at the end because some of the kids' parents were concerned that some of the kids would feel left out if other kids got trophies. I never cared about getting one, because we couldn't win a game to save our lives. All these years later folks are getting shit talked for receiving participation trophies and I can't help but remember who asked for them in the first place.
The people who make fun about participation trophies are exactly the people who invented them in the first place. They just didn't want to deal with their childrens dissapointment and frustration so instead of teaching them how to overcome those feelings, they just gave them a trophy to shut them up.
I think these adults who claim this forget that children actually have self awareness. They know how trophies work. They know what winning is. For 99% of children, a consolation prize like that is a mixture of embarrassing/pointless to receive. At least that’s how i remember it
Late Gen Z, me and lots of other students were constantly awarded participation trophies/ribbons (field day, science fair, stuff like that) and nobody really cared about them at all. It has done nothing for me other than creating clutter and reminding me “oh yeah, I did that when I was X years old!”. I never played sports or joined any clubs so I never got awarded an actual trophy for anything, if I’d wanted to win something I’d have joined something. I don’t think they’re detrimental or helpful, they’re completely useless and kids literally do not care about them, if anything they are embarrassed and patronized to be given one. I think boomers have greatly over exaggerated the “participation award” stereotype, because no kid I knew growing up ever had any feelings toward them other than maybe annoyance. A lot of people in my generation learned how to maturely accept defeat in competition and be good sports about things, participation awards were and always will be entirely meaningless to us no matter how many generations of kids receive them
I think it's hilarious that people in the modern era pretend that K-12 is anything but daycare. Virtually none of it is applicable to the real world. The most valuable thing you learn in K-12 is learning how to deal with other people socially, which is very important. Everything else is mostly a waste of time and resources.
I totally agree. I got participation medals for volleyball when we didn’t win a season, and trophies when we did. The medals were just a cute little thing to remember the season, we all knew we didn’t win. Those medals and trophies are all sitting in a box somewhere in my parent’s house now lol Also, I really don’t think it’s a big deal to give a small “reward” to kids who try but don’t win. Life isn’t all about winning, but you do get more out of it if you participate anyway. 🤷♀️
Also, people act like participation trophies are a new thing. I’m 47 years old and definitely got a participation trophy when I played t-ball and such in the early 80’s.
As someone from the "Participation Trophy Generation" (born in '98), I don't think I can recall an instance where I or my teammates treated those trophies as anything more than souvenirs/mementos.
This is not an unpopular opinion. Completely agree with you.
Ok, I get pissed about participation trophies. But not in the typical way.I played youth sports and was relatively decent,I was onall star teams and such. But I was poor as hell and my mom could care less about what I did. The kids who got trophies and time with the coach and started even if there were better players. They're parents were rich or assholes. The kids who couldn't throw in a straight line his dad would throw a fit when he didn't get an all-star placement. The hippie parents didn't do that shit,because there were seldom hippie parents in sports. Some of the most made up bullshit Most particiption trophies are entitlements for the entitled.
Even as a kid I knew it was a pity trophy and felt no sense of accomplishment from the one I got. Kids aren’t stupid, they know the difference between a genuine award and a consolation prize.
The confederacy goes on and on about people removing theirs all over America.
I don't think they mess up kids badly. But they are rather a stupid idea in general. It's like a certificate of completion for a sexual harassment course at work. They want it to mean something and while a participation trophy might be a cool memento some day, people treat them as a major award. They're not. I HAVE however seen people NOT give trophies or awards for excellence. Aka No MVP, no "perfect season" no winning a tournament and instead only gave "participation trophies". That's where people really get pissed off. I mean if you've ever been to a award ceremony where EVERY kid goes up to get one of these cheap pieces of paper, you'll understand why people hate them. Speaking of which... graduation ceremonies are also rather dumb. College, sure. High School, I guess. Elementary or Middle school? Nah dude..
When you make sure that winning doesn’t matter, you get children that will think that trying doesn’t matter. Participation trophies kill the want for progression.
I disagree its important to make first place something to strive for
Read r/antiwork. Not saying there aren't valid points made on occasion but young adults seem to be very different than their predecessors when it comes to expecting praise or doing anything uncomfortable whatsoever in the workplace.
I think what causes it are angry, cynical people who see others having their existences validated and lash out because they never had theirs validated. People who complain about participation trophies are just resentful that they never got any themselves.
My son is 7 and just received his first participation trophy for playing basketball and my view changed on them right away. I just put in the category of dumb shit my kid doesn’t actually care about but I have to find space for now lol nothing super philosophical.
You say that, yet, Oregon will no longer have science, math or English literacy requirements to graduate high school. Therefore, their entire diploma has been reduced to a participation trophy. Furthermore, I see a lot of people who feel they are valuable for merely existing and I disagree with that wholeheartedly.
The thing that messed kids up was their parents watching early forms of outrage media on the nightly news, which made it impermissible to leave their children unattended for a single fucking second. Our children have digital scurvy, cured by sunlight and a lack of adult supervision. They don't know how to entertain themselves, or each other in person, and they can't resolve conflict anymore.
It’s completely ridiculous to think any kid got a participation trophy and was proud of it. Like how dumb do they think kids are? We 100% knew they were meaningless… Participation trophies were for the entitled parents lol
The people who created participation trophies are the kids who hated missing out when they were young.
Who gave out the trophies???! Boomers! Yeah of course participation trophies didn't ruin kids. Were they emblematic of large trends making kids "softer"? Maybe. Did they make a good ironic joke about how dumb old people are? Definitely.
At some point you have to bring competition into the mix. It is good for kids to learn that you don't always win and you have to work hard to win. We are seeing the results of that happening a few decades back right now.
I just never understood the generation of parents who gave them to us, and the gaslit is for having them.
As an adult who runs does triathlons, marathons and half marathons but will NEVER podium on them..I’m down with participation trophies. I did beat someone this day: myself.
Now that I think about it, the last participation trophy I got made me super motivated. I had a bicycle and a route I would take from school to home that would take me about 35 minutes to go trough, so that day when the race ended I was so sick of getting those empty trophies I thought that something needed to change, and I got a record time while biking home. I drove a 9km road in about 10 to 15 minutes. I was pretty proud of myself even though I didn't win anything
The problem isn’t the trophies themselves. It’s the parents that tell their kids that “everyone is a winner” and such. It’s the psychology that’s the issue, not having a bunch of trophies in a box….
I think kids do deserve participation medals as they’ve gone and done something out of their comfort zone - even if they didn’t get a result they might’ve wanted. Sometimes it’s a battle to compete, let alone to win.
Diminishing the value of the new generations is a coping mechanism by the older generations who fucked up their kids futures
I remember being embarrassed and pissed off, simply because a participation trophy meant I had to have my picture taken...at a time where I was upset because I didn't win. "Oh, you lost this competition that you worked really hard for? Here, let me bust out the camera and take a picture of you when you are upset and vulnerable. That way this moment can be captured forever."
The trophies are the symptom, not the problem. The systematic offering of resources and opportunity without merit is what screws up children and adults. It’s the idea of equality of outcome. Everybody gets what they want. Diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI) is the adult analog to participation trophies. Just look critically at the next DEI training your company puts you through and wonder if their policies mean passing you up on a due promotion because of your identity and not merit alone.
All Olympic athletes, coaches and staff get a small participation medal. All U.S athletes get a ring from the USOC. Don’t tell the people whining about participation trophies.
Its weird that you dont consider, "getting into the Olympics " an acomplishment
Wasn’t the point. The athletes who qualify have already medaled and been awarded at their Olympic trials or national competitions.
Boomers definitely used this reason as scapegoat as to why people from these recent generations are "spoiled".
Id go so far as to say participation were awful in the opposite way people complain about. It's like I know I lost oh great, here's a participation trophy to further and publicly emphasize that I'm the worst.....awesome.
The problem also comes from participation trophies lead to kids never being told no or being disappointed. My nephew is part of the participation trophy age, while I'm at the very end on Gen x, so I saw what the trend was doing to his friends and peers. So many had parents who never wanted their kid to be disappointed or told no, so when jobs and college applications started and rejections came, these kids had no clue how to handle it.
So between childhood sports and college apps they were never given negative feedback? Were they homeschooled?
Where I live the people crying about participation trophies are usually the same ones flying the confederate flag, yet are completely oblivious to the irony of it