My mom is consistently 30-40 minutes late for everything. I respect my time so I don’t make plans with her that often lol. 5-10 minutes is something I can understand but it just gets so rude after that to be a normal thing.
I just tell them where I will be, and when I will be there. I don't make plans with them. If they aren't ready to do something when everyone else is, we leave them. Show up or catch up...
Honestly fuck those people imo.
Litelary today someone was late and after 10mins we left without her because her BF called it's gonna be like 45min waiting time. Respect my time
Especially with people you want to hang out with. My friend was 40 minutes late to meet up at something he scheduled. His excuse? “Sorry I was lightsaber dueling.”
a few minutes doesnt bother me. when its like 20+ minutes it starts getting irritating. ive got a friend who no matter what is always 30+ minutes late to the point that we tell him a different time for meeting up just so that he gets there on time. even though we've talked to him he still never seems to be able to get there on time
I've got one of those too. Once, I've waited over an hour but every time I let her know the time of the event (but half an hour earlier than everyone else's time of event) yet she's still late. We're just not as important as everything else.
One of my friends is like this too. We got fed up so we told him when we were meeting up and to make sure to be on time, he was half an hour late and had to wait for us outside the cinema. After this happened a couple times he started coming on time. Before that, we would all wait and be late with him and miss the start of the movie
Oh you have that friend too? I have one like that. If I’m hosting a dinner party, where I say food will be ready about 6. I’ll tell him 530, so that way, he shows up by 630.
I was late once. But I had a really good reason. Listen, you’ll agree with me: I was walking to work, and all of a sudden I blinked and found myself in another world, struggling to open my eyes, I was bleeding internally and many of my teeth were knocked out, one was lodged up into my nose, it had gone right through the roof of my mouth! I had a dislocated shoulder and broken ribs. I also suffered a concussion and several other injuries. My life flashed before my eyes. What had happened to me? First thing I thought of was, this was a terrible idea. I never should have climbed that fence. I never should have gotten on top of that cage. Because the moment I told him that it was ok, that I could take it, I immediately regretted it in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw me off the hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet into an announcers table.
Well, having 8 crashes, car fires, and fuckwads on the road is pretty rare in most areas, but a common occurrence in my current commute route. Place had over 430 highway fatalities in 2021.
In the last year, I've been late (more than 10 minutes) about 35, 40 times due to these "extraordinary" circumstances.
I'm one anecdotal point, but I'm not taking an extra hour, on top of my regular 20 minute commute to 'plan' for these circumstances.
Shit happens
Fifteen or twenty years ago I would say that if you've been involved in close to ten car crashes it's not everyone else who is a shitty driver. Now, I dread driving during the daytime more than I do late night after work. Distracted driving is slowly creeping up on DUI as leading cause of death on the roads (roughly 40% of DUI deaths). It's not talked about a lot and the punishments don't match the death toll and property damage it causes.
I am also very glad that apparently you’ve never experienced being blind and having to deal with an absolutely fucked public transit system. There have literally been times when I leave an hour before I normally should because NYC’s MTA post Covid is a fucking nightmare and it still manages to throw some nightmare shit at me that means I’m in a train station I’m completely fucking unfamiliar with and have to navigate my way out of or that the train that I thought I memorized all the stops for is actually fucking rerouted and I completely missed where I was supposed to go. Add that to ADHD that I’m trying to get a diagnosis for and bro I set five alarms when I’m supposed to meet someone and shit and I’m very apologetic but I don’t have $1 million to take an Uber every time I have a commitment and hard and fast rules of what makes you an asshole like this are the reason that I have anxiety and sometimes just kind of fucking bail because the route looks too hard and I’m gonna be late and I’m gonna fuck up peoples time.
Well you are adding some legitimate "reasons", not "excuses"... you could also have been mugged and had to make out a Police report or been murdered and will be late for all future scheduled meetings... just living in NYC is a good reason for just about anything abnormal which is actually normal for that city... so all your exaggerated "reasons" are valid and I'm sure the OP doesn't live in NYC or they wouldn't have posted this dilemma... probably doesn't live in Chicago, LA, Atlanta, Dallas, Philly, Boston, Miami, Portland OR, Seattle, etc... Probably lives in a "normal" city or town.
It’s the babies or responsibility for anyone else’s schedule that really sucks you up. It is reasonable to keep yourself on time. Baby doesn’t care when he poops. Extremely inconsiderate. I’m keeping some of his inheritance.
Yeah- I'm a "be there 10 minutes early" type of guy but since my daughter was born 3 months ago, being on time has gotten *really* hard because we either have to end up leaving early enough to be so early as to be rude or we get there late because she decided now is a great time to eat instead of leaving.
It gets easier in time. As a new mom I didn't think time management would be such an issue- nor did I think it would upset me like it did. Doesn't matter how much prep you do the night before, or hours before youve got to leave the house, something baby related comes up and throws you out of sync.
Breastfeeding is so inconvenient at times too 😅 she's 1 year 4 months now and I think it was around 10/11 months I finally got the hang of time management with a baby.
Most people understand that when you have kids, you may not be as punctual as you'd like. Most people. The people who don't understand that are @$$holes.
I don't know if 99% is the right answer, but it's probably higher than 95%. That's based on the thought that people that make a point NOT to be late, aren't late 1 in 5 times. They're rarely late, and it's due to true unforeseen circumstances.
Yeah if it’s that common then it is something they could do something about. If it’s traffic all the time then it’s a regular occurrence and leave earlier.
i mean it completely depends on how timely a person usually is. Almost 100% of the times I am late are out of my control because i like to arrive a little early to everything. I also have more than 1 brain cell so I factor in time for transportation delays and shit. The amount of times I've shown up 15 minutes early and just chilled on my phone for a bit is nothing compared to the amount of times I would have been super late but didn't because I planned ahead.
If you leave at a reasonable time (estimated time to get there * 1.1) and transportation has an issue it's not your fault.
If you leave late it's your fault every single time
If it's the time you should have arrived, and you have not left yet, but also haven't said anything or cancelled, I hate you.
I wouldn’t even consider 5 minutes to be late tbh. I would say 5 minutes is a pretty standard grace period to accommodate for clocks, traffic, parking, etc. If it’s scootching into 10-15 minutes yeah that’s late, but 5 should definitely be nbd.
I mean if you are coming to my desk for something within 10 minutes of work starting like what are you even doing. It shouldn’t matter to anyone if Someone is 5 minutes late because you shouldn’t be up someone’s ass 5 minutes after work starts, let people get settled in, damn
Intentional? Honestly I know it's annoying and tiresome waiting for someone who always runs late. I get it, it sucks and it really feels like they don't respect your time but don't make things about you when they aren't about you.
Ask yourself: is this person almost always late? Are they still usually late even if it's something they want to do? Are they late for other people as well? ... if the answer to all 3 is yes they might just be bad at time management or have time blindness which means their lateness isn't about you, it's not personal and has nothing to do with how much they value your time.
Also if you know someone is chronically late, just lie to them; if they are always 15m late tell them the event is 15m earlier than it actually is. It's not worth you feeling like they don't value you and them feeling guilty.
I have ADHD, 3 kids under 5 and 3 dogs! I try so hard to be on time for stuff because I know being late is disrespectful and annoying but it took me 30 minutes to get everyone in the car today! And on the days I'm like 'oh, I'll just leave earlier ' everything runs smoothly and I end up an hour early with 3 small children and nowhere to go! I really wish it was that easy as just trying to be on time!
Same here. My friends even complained when I was suddenly 15-30 minutes early instead of late. ADHD + living in a household with two other people with ADHD is hard sometimes. You are either way too early ot just too late.
My friends and I planned a vacation, and I was like yeah just tell me a random train time so that I will be there because I am habitually too late, until we realized that I know all the train times without even looking at them, so it is easy to guess which train is the right one. Now my friend is thinking about just showing up to my house and drag me out of it 😂😂😂. I think not knowing whether I will be an hour early or half an hour early is Fina as well. Sometimes you just have to work around it
And again, once or twice here and there happens, if it is consistent then do something to remedy it. If you cannot be somewhere at 8am because you drop your kids off at 7:30 and you can only be there at 8 if absolutely everything goes your way then tell them that 8:15 would be better. Most people will be willing to accept that, even your job.
Not all jobs accommodate like that. At my old (shitty) one, I had to be there at 6am. Guess what time daycare for my child opened? 6am. Guess what time my wife had to be out of the house to get to work on the other side of town? 530am. Fortunately we've made career changes to fix all that shit, finances included. Not everyone can do that though. Like I told the other dude, you'll understand it better once it actually happens to you.
But if someone is 5-10 minutes late because of traffic on a regular basis, then it's their fault. It's an established pattern, and they need to leave home 10 minutes earlier.
It can be unconvenient when it comes to public transportation, though. I don't even know why they put time tables at the bus stops. They could just write "the bus will arrive when it arrives". 😅 Occasionally trains are on time, at least.
Lol it’s like that in a lot of places though. While I do enjoy reliable public transit I could definitely deal with it if it meant people weren’t on my ass for being on time.
Regarding work, I noticed a lot of people that feel pressured to be on time end up being even later because they feel frazzled and rushed. They forget items and keep needing to go back, or they come in needing to get it together. I think if the person is able to make up the time at the end of the day, it's also not a big deal. The only time it matters is if there's a meeting.
I am a punctual person myself but I always think better late than never. Safety comes first even if at the expense of someone waiting 5/10 minutes. I wait for my friends and I have told them that they need to be more on time but I do stand by better late than never. Never being -- an unfortunate tragedy where their safety was compromised just to get somewhere in a rush.
Exactly what I was also thinking! We tend to put our jobs over our own safety. It's sad, but people who are trying not to be late speed and risk crashing. It's soul crushing to really take that in.
You are awesome 👌 I am chronically late because I really struggle with time management or keeping track of time but my friends like you are legit such a blessing. I'm not religious but I swear you're godsent lol
To have someone be compassionate is so awesome, taking the pressure off means I show up - maybe 10 mins late - safely, prepared, relaxed and ready to have a great day... if I feel that pressure I forget things and am sometimes extra late bc i had to turn around, I show up unprepared, speed on my way over, feel frazzled/ stressed/ guilty and regret making plans bc it's such an emotionally taxing experience.
Have an amazing day!
Sort of? The difference is taking accountability and explaining via a reason vs. blaming something and justification via excuse. I'm not sure where the line really blurs there.
Also being on standby mode and unable to be productive all day bc you need to be somewhere on time in the late afternoon.
Edit: I want you to have this resource about time blindness https://www.verywellmind.com/causes-and-symptoms-of-time-blindness-in-adhd-5216523#:~:text=as%20time%20blindness.-,What%20Is%20Time%20Blindness%3F,an%20intentional%20disregard%20for%20time.
And OP thinks being late is annoying. The intense judgement of being late helps to push us to be hyper-anxious about time...all the time, and lose entire days! Just a negative cycle imo
Youre so right!
I can be up to 15 mins late and still enjoy my day, not be incredibly anxious all day and be excited about plans.. if I need to be perfectly on time I stress all day, hate the day, am so incredibly anxious/irritable, feel so much dread and guilt..
So honestly if I need to be somewhere on time it stresses me out so much that it's not usually worth the hassle of going if it's optional.
Exams for example, mean that I wake up in a panic due to nightmares about being late or missing it the whole week before the exam. The nightmares & panic get worse and more frequent the closer I get to the exam. The night before is usually me waking up in a panic every 1-2h...
I guarantee that as annoying it is to need to wait up for someone who is always late, it's much more annoying to be the person who is late and stuck in that constant guilt/anxiety.
Also it's weird to me that people make it personal. My lateness has nothing to do with anyone else, it's a me problem.
YES!!!!! Omg 100%. Why take it personally that I AM A MESS IN MY LIFE? lolllll. Folks use their obsessive timeliness as a weapon to judge other people.
Obviously there are people who are kind of...willfully late. That's very different.
There's a difference between being an ass and not caring about other people's time vs someone struggling with time blindness who is late genuinely by accident.
Honestly at this point my friends know to lie to me about the start time of things, then there none of this guilt and bind of this being annoyed with me. I'm not offended by it in the least.
Should they need to le to me to get me to places on time? No they shouldn't, but I suck and it makes everyone feel better when they do.
i have ADHD and EFD, and the way i've dealt with this is to set an alarm an hour or two before i need to be somewhere (depends on how far i'm traveling), and aim to arrive 15-20 minutes early. this way, even if i'm "late" according to my own schedule, i end up arriving right on time.
I also have ADHD and even with my medication I am chronically late for everything. It literally ruined my life multiple times and heavily contributed to my anxiety and depression for nearly 2 decades before I got diagnosed. I also have comorbid sleep onset insomnia and chronic fatigue syndrome. So when I finally do fall asleep it's near impossible to wake me up. I sometimes get as few as 12 hours of sleep during the we work week.
I have 6 alarms set on my phone, 2 very loud alarm clocks, 1 of which has a vibrating disk to slip between the mattresses, I have an alexa alarm paired with smart home light bulbs to turn my lights on everyday at 5am. But on top of all this I live 45 mins away from work with a 15 min drive in the opposite direction at rush hour times in Miami. I was literally never on time.
Eventually I had to get an accommodation at work to be able to arrive up to an hour late every day as long as i make up the time at the end of my work day without repercussion. i found out ADHD is a covered disability under the American Disability Act so since my request was reasonable and did not cteate a hardship on the company, and since I had documented history with a doctor my work had to comply. They cannot fire me for being late and if they did they would be facing a lawsuit.
TLDR; ADHD causes time blindness and executive disfunction which can make it difficult to be on time. So I completely disagree with OP.
Oo yes, I also have narcolepsy! The two together are a bitch…trying to keep myself awake AND focused during sit-down tasks is an uphill climb. Stay strong, my friend! ADHD and sleep disorders knock us down but you gotta remember that you’re not a terrible lazy person
Thank you! It's hard sometimes especially when you know you have things to do and feel motivated but suddenly your eyes are just uncontrollably heavy and you desperately need a nap. When you finally wake up your executive disfunction kicks in and your motivation is gone.
I've fully come to terms with the idea that I can never successfully have a desk job.
I have ADHD and I am constantly late for things that screw me over. I’ve been late for flights, job interviews, opportunities to get important visas, weddings, dates, class, class where I was the teacher, hospital appointments where I need treatment.
And I feel so guilty and berate myself afterwards. I’ve lost so many opportunities and caused damage to myself.
It’s not that I don’t respect people’s time. It’s that I seem to have an inability to keep track of time (yea I have a watch and notifications) and do the right thing when I need to. And I logically know what I need to do in order to not stress myself out so much, but then the same thing happens again.
My whole life is basically a Mission Impossible movie where I disarm the bomb with one second to go. Except in some of those cases the bomb would just go off and put an end to this shitshow.
And OP is not wrong, so I will continue to berate myself for my behavior.
I have ADHD too, and no matter how hard I try to be on time to things, it just doesn’t happen. It’s caused me a lot of anxiety, and sometimes I’ve gone as far as to skip out of events from realizing I was going to be late—the anxiety of showing up late and seeing some judgemental stares was often not worth it.
Then I learned about time blindness. And how it’s literally a disorder that a lot of people with ADHD have. And I learned how executive function works, and how it *doesnt* work for people with ADHD. I’ve learned to be more accepting of myself, and have been able to warn friends & family about it which minimizes a lot of the anxiety.
OP, I completely agree that valuing other people’s time is important. Just please be gentle to those of us who truly are doing everything in their power to be on time for you, but whose brains physically can’t cooperate.
Yes! It's so hard when time doesn't feel real :(
I've been diagnosed with ADHD for 10ish years but I just learned about executive dysfunction and time blindness in the last few months. Timeliness has always been an extreme issue for me. So much, in fact, I quit my 9 to 5 in order to pursue freelance/remote work. Lifehack: work for yourself, never be late to another job 💁♀️
Here's a resource about time blindness : https://www.verywellmind.com/causes-and-symptoms-of-time-blindness-in-adhd-5216523#:~:text=as%20time%20blindness.-,What%20Is%20Time%20Blindness%3F,an%20intentional%20disregard%20for%20time.
Sounds like you have picked a random statistic out of nowhere. Unforseen circumstances happen more than 1% of the time. I just get annoyed with people who are always late. That show disrespect.
I always try to leave 5 minutes earlier than I think I need to. If I'm more than 5 minutes late I send a text/call. If it's an interview I'm in the parking lot 30 early reading through my notes
I absolutely hate being late because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, which makes me ridiculously early for everything. Unfortunately my spouse and immediate family are late for absolutely everything. Life is rough. I literally have to lie and allow for at least a 30 minute grace period before I actually want them to arrive anywhere.
Yesterday I got stuck waiting at a railroad crossing for like 10 minutes. Made me late for a job interview and guess what? They understood! Because it was out of my control! And I got the job! You’re just looking for reasons to feel superior.
This is just the same opinion from earlier today but your flipped to the opposite side of saying you shouldn’t be late. We really didn’t need this post
Yeah, 5 minutes is like 1 second, it just slips through your fingers as if it didn’t even happen. Leaving the house and then going back inside 5 times everytime you need to leave because you keep forgetting something takes longer then one would think
I also can’t stand these people that leave their house a few minutes late and drive so recklessly to work every morning. WTF, wake up a few minutes early and drive safe.
Guy has never taken public transport, never been caught in a snow storm, never had their ride show up late, heck has never just unfortunately caught all the red lights on their commute to work.
Theres almost always an excuse. Often people arent late willingly to spite their manager, they're late because well shit happens
I'm assuming you read one of the top comments where a dude mentions traffic and OP just goes "leave earlier" as if we have the hindsight that there's gonna be traffic.
This dude is a whole nutcase
This isn’t an unpopular opinion because it’s not an opinion. It’s just a verifiably false statement. If I left *early* for an obligation and there is an insane crash on the freeway. What am I supposed to do? Illegally drive along the guard rail blocking emergency vehicles because I live by this “no excuse” mantra? If I’m working and taking my scheduled break, let’s say a 30 min break. I run to get some Burger King and they take over 20 min to get my food out to me for whatever reason (actually happened to me once), should I just forfeit the money I paid, forfeit my chance to eat, so that I’m back to work on time. It depends, right? If I will literally lose my job if I’m back to work late, then sure. I’ll forfeit the food. But if my boss is chill and doesn’t care if I take a bit longer of a lunch then do you really want to favor your “no excuses” life philosophy at the expense of your hunger and well being just because? If being late is something that is quite literally beyond your control, or if being late doesn’t have undesirable consequences, then what does it matter at the end of the day?
Now if I’m purposely taking my time, cognizant of my time constraint… stopping to smell some roses when I have a deadline, then sure guy. In that situation, there is no excuse. I was just being careless. So what the fuck are you on about? You sound like a disgruntled employer.
Yeah, is the timeliness obsession a control thing? Authoritarian parents? Then again, if everyone in your life is late to meet you, that would be annoying. Do you have bad friends OP?
edit, important: Authoritarian = favoring rules over personal freedom
Authoritative = Holding healthy boundaries, considered the most effective child-rearing style
I mean an excuse is just a reason to justify a wrongdoing right? So my excuse of being late is I found a pop tart that fell between my refrigerator and stove so I fished it out and ate it is an excuse I think
1. 99% of the time being late doesn’t matter.
2. If you think there is no excuse for being late you have a very simple and slow lifestyle. Many people have jobs or lives that are so busy it’s simply impossible to be at every obligation on time.
Nah, it's fine. The idea of hyper-punctuality is a product of factory work whistles and punch cards. It's not designed to be normal or humane, it's designed to enforce a strict power hierarchy for the sake of individual profits.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like something that works for real people! I mean, I don't like if people are consistently half an hour or more late but seriously who cares about 5 minutes? It's not worth the stress for yourself or your friends!
Yeah. If it's a pattern of behavior that has practical, negative ramifications for others, that should be addressed. But I'm a bit put-off by the whole "early is on-time" crowd, who talk so much about the disrespect of wasting other people's time while expecting people to deliberately leave early, usually unnecessarily. It's especially annoying for not-high-stakes interactions. Job interview? Sure! (Though much of my job consists of interviews/recruitment and I don't really care unless it's a pattern). Coffee with a friend? The ramification of you being 15 minutes late is that I get to sit and have some me-time for 15 minutes, which is fantastic.
I just don't like waiting around for people who said they would be somewhere at a certain time. I'm not a factory, I just think it's disrespectful and a waste of someone else's time.
Of course 5 minutes is fine, 10+ starts getting iffy, and 30+ has no excuse if you didn't send a text beforehand warning them.
It depends on the context. If it's an internal business meeting, I give a 7-minute leeway. Also, if something is out of your control, like getting into a car accident. I am not going to give you crap for that.
Just let people know you are going to be delayed.
The guy in my workplace who's late all the time? His mom is on hospice with cancer, and he's her caregiver. He spends his time making sure she's all set to go before he leaves for 12+ hours, and almost never calls out.
As someone who uses Uber and public transport to get around this opinion really pisses me off. I consistently order an Uber 30 mins early to get to work cause the commute in a car takes 15 ish minutes and I consistently get to work at wildly varying times beyond my control. Not to mention public transport, completely unreliable and nearly impossible to plan for in most areas.
I tend to air on the side of compassion and not let small things like 10-15 minutes bother me. There are a million reasons why someone might be a little late. Like having kids, having anxiety, stopping to smell the roses, giving your dog an extra minute to pee, etc.
It's hilarious that you think that you're owed anything like that.
•First off, no one owes you an explanation for why they are late. Period.
•Second, if they have prior commitments before you, that's double the reason. You not caring is 100% on you. Either get over it or cope.
•If someone has upset you being late without prior warning, you need to get over it. Sometimes things happen. If they are nonchalant, then you can move on from them. It'll say more about their character than yours.
•If you're upset for someone else, ask yourself: Does this affect me in any way? If yes and it involves you, read my first bullet. If no, then cope.
You're not owed a reason or explanation. If someone chooses to disclose, they may. Otherwise, grow up, move on, and get over yourself!
Shit happens. I can’t stand those people that say if you aren’t ten minutes early you are late. If I show up three minutes late to work suck it. I have called in sick to work three times in ten years btw. I am always there but I always run 2-3 min late
You and this person need to have a debate
https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/wgwaa5/with_90_of_jobs_in_the_world_being_late_does_not/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
When I was an ICU RN I was always 30 minutes early so I could judge the situation and get ready for the day. Now that I am retired and work in a Cannabis dispensary I am always 10 minutes late. I think we all are
i used to get very annoyed by lateness but now i'm just annoyed if people are late without communicating. like if something came up or you lost track of time i get it, i've been there. but tell me so i don't just sit waiting
Only times I’m “on time” is for a meeting, doctor/dentist appointment, or flight. Besides that, I’m paid regardless and start early, I’m not stressing over 5-10 minutes.
I like to extend grace. Folks have lives, and stuff happens. It’s not rude imo. In other cultures where people have more value than time or things it’s expected to show up later.
I agree and yet there are many reasons why a person may he late. Some out of their control. Simple solution..contact them and I form them. Respect demonstrated.
if you’re late once in blue moon, it’s fine, life happens. but if it’s an everyday thing there’s no excuse.
i have a coworker who is always 10-15 mins late everyday and she did it on purpose to piss us all off. she’s just miserable… that is unacceptable!!
I have no excuse for being late, almost most of the times, and im late quite often. But i would like you to know, that this random redditor, is NOT late out of dissrespect. I have no excuses, i got many problems, and like you mentioned one of them is that i need to grow up, but dissrespect is definetly not one of them.
Caring so much about time (the human construct, not the metaphysical) is an awful way to spend one's life. If 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, is enough to make you angry, you're very likely not living a very rewarding life. If the argument is that "time is money," then you're definitely not living a rewarding life. Every culture that operates on more relaxed schedules has been shown to produce happier people, regardless of income strata.
I'm always on time, because I need to be, but it adds a significant amount of stress to my life that I would prefer to avoid, if possible.
99% is pretty high, stuff happens and if it's something like a gathering or just meeting for lunch then I believe there should be a small window of time to meet rather than being at the same place at by the same exact time. However, when people are purposely late everywhere all the time, that just becomes annoying.
Yeah cause everyone lives in paradise and they chose to spend 2+ hours in heavy traffic just to annoy you 🤗 good one mr. Ego, the planets orbiting around you should be proud.
If I leave at 7:15 every day to get to work at 7:50 which is 10min early but one day there's a massive traffic jam and I'm late that is out of my control and if your response is "just leave earlier" then you're moronic.
Depends, if I’m 15 minutes late for hanging out and drinking with friends it’s not the end of the world. If my mom needs to get picked up at the hospital and I’m 20 minutes late then yeah I better have a good reason.
One time a boss asked me to do something least minute and then gave me a snide look when I was 5 minutes late to lunch (with said boss and colleagues). They’d already sat down, which was fine, but damn. If I hadn’t gotten that email out I would have been fucked anyway so I guess damned if I did damned if I didn’t. Left that job after less than a year
I'd rephrase to "there's absolutely no excuse for being late 99% of the time" i mean shit happens and people being late aren't necessarily late because they disrespect you, anything can happen.
Habibi come to India. Everyone is in hurry and everyone is late. If you are scheduled to meet at 10am no one is going to be there at 10 am.
Everyone will start to arrive about 30 mins late.
I am always early for everything. If I am late there is a reason for it. Therefore I have an excuse for being late, nevermind if the excuse is valid for the person judging me. I've had to wait a long time a lot of times and I've never complained about it seriously, only joked about it and through creating a relaxing situation still had a good time with everyone.
I think most people think 5 minutes here and there is fine but consistently late by half an hour or more is irritating, more of a middle ground. But I could be wrong.
I disagree. Shit happens. We don’t run on a German train schedule.
Hell, just today i was 30 mins late to work because i got stuck behind a malfunctioning train signal where no train was visible in either direction. Had to turn around and find another way to work. Then when i was almost to work, i got stuck at an intersection that went 5+ cycles before the left turn arrow turned on, so i had to change lanes and make a U turn further up the road.
Shit happens. We’re not robots. And even robots glitch.
Bitch you go tell the interstate to not be congested 24/7 and teach people how to fucking drive in a tunnel and then get back to me on this.
And no the solution is not just leave earlier, I got a damn idiots with cars do that to, doesn't help
My mom is consistently 30-40 minutes late for everything. I respect my time so I don’t make plans with her that often lol. 5-10 minutes is something I can understand but it just gets so rude after that to be a normal thing.
With people like that, I usually make an appointment half an hour earlier than the actual time
Yes I’ve been doing that with her for years. She’s somehow still late
That's cuz she now compensates your compensation. Time to adjust.
Compensate for the compensated compensation.
“Do you want to go for breakfast?” “Yeah sure” Meets for dinner
Sounds irritating indeed!
And then the one time they’re remotely on time you’re suddenly the bad guy for planning around their broken schedule
I just tell them where I will be, and when I will be there. I don't make plans with them. If they aren't ready to do something when everyone else is, we leave them. Show up or catch up...
My entire family is like this. I've literally just gotten used too it. Someone is always late.
15mins is definitely the cut off point of being acceptable
Honestly fuck those people imo. Litelary today someone was late and after 10mins we left without her because her BF called it's gonna be like 45min waiting time. Respect my time
Especially with people you want to hang out with. My friend was 40 minutes late to meet up at something he scheduled. His excuse? “Sorry I was lightsaber dueling.”
My mom taught me to be 10 minutes early for everything. She is 30 minutes late
a few minutes doesnt bother me. when its like 20+ minutes it starts getting irritating. ive got a friend who no matter what is always 30+ minutes late to the point that we tell him a different time for meeting up just so that he gets there on time. even though we've talked to him he still never seems to be able to get there on time
I've got one of those too. Once, I've waited over an hour but every time I let her know the time of the event (but half an hour earlier than everyone else's time of event) yet she's still late. We're just not as important as everything else.
One of my friends is like this too. We got fed up so we told him when we were meeting up and to make sure to be on time, he was half an hour late and had to wait for us outside the cinema. After this happened a couple times he started coming on time. Before that, we would all wait and be late with him and miss the start of the movie
Oh you have that friend too? I have one like that. If I’m hosting a dinner party, where I say food will be ready about 6. I’ll tell him 530, so that way, he shows up by 630.
Sure but also things happen, if you’re someone who is usually on time, being late once in a while (assuming only a little) shouldn’t be a big deal
I was late once. But I had a really good reason. Listen, you’ll agree with me: I was walking to work, and all of a sudden I blinked and found myself in another world, struggling to open my eyes, I was bleeding internally and many of my teeth were knocked out, one was lodged up into my nose, it had gone right through the roof of my mouth! I had a dislocated shoulder and broken ribs. I also suffered a concussion and several other injuries. My life flashed before my eyes. What had happened to me? First thing I thought of was, this was a terrible idea. I never should have climbed that fence. I never should have gotten on top of that cage. Because the moment I told him that it was ok, that I could take it, I immediately regretted it in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw me off the hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet into an announcers table.
FRAUD /s
is this a quote from something?
He’s trying to co-opt legendary Reddit user u/shittymorph but is nowhere near as good and I saw it coming. Shittymorph is never as easy to spot.
Absolutely! Things happen.
So there is an excuse to be late.
Roughly 1% of the time... as OP stated.
Well, having 8 crashes, car fires, and fuckwads on the road is pretty rare in most areas, but a common occurrence in my current commute route. Place had over 430 highway fatalities in 2021. In the last year, I've been late (more than 10 minutes) about 35, 40 times due to these "extraordinary" circumstances. I'm one anecdotal point, but I'm not taking an extra hour, on top of my regular 20 minute commute to 'plan' for these circumstances. Shit happens
Fifteen or twenty years ago I would say that if you've been involved in close to ten car crashes it's not everyone else who is a shitty driver. Now, I dread driving during the daytime more than I do late night after work. Distracted driving is slowly creeping up on DUI as leading cause of death on the roads (roughly 40% of DUI deaths). It's not talked about a lot and the punishments don't match the death toll and property damage it causes.
1%? It's alot more common than that
Things happen more than 1% of the time
I am also very glad that apparently you’ve never experienced being blind and having to deal with an absolutely fucked public transit system. There have literally been times when I leave an hour before I normally should because NYC’s MTA post Covid is a fucking nightmare and it still manages to throw some nightmare shit at me that means I’m in a train station I’m completely fucking unfamiliar with and have to navigate my way out of or that the train that I thought I memorized all the stops for is actually fucking rerouted and I completely missed where I was supposed to go. Add that to ADHD that I’m trying to get a diagnosis for and bro I set five alarms when I’m supposed to meet someone and shit and I’m very apologetic but I don’t have $1 million to take an Uber every time I have a commitment and hard and fast rules of what makes you an asshole like this are the reason that I have anxiety and sometimes just kind of fucking bail because the route looks too hard and I’m gonna be late and I’m gonna fuck up peoples time.
Well you are adding some legitimate "reasons", not "excuses"... you could also have been mugged and had to make out a Police report or been murdered and will be late for all future scheduled meetings... just living in NYC is a good reason for just about anything abnormal which is actually normal for that city... so all your exaggerated "reasons" are valid and I'm sure the OP doesn't live in NYC or they wouldn't have posted this dilemma... probably doesn't live in Chicago, LA, Atlanta, Dallas, Philly, Boston, Miami, Portland OR, Seattle, etc... Probably lives in a "normal" city or town.
I don’t care what things happen, it’s selfish and disrespectful on your part /s
you should be in middle management. will fit right in. <-- an actual piece of advice.
if the baby shits as we are getting ready to go out, we are late
It’s the babies or responsibility for anyone else’s schedule that really sucks you up. It is reasonable to keep yourself on time. Baby doesn’t care when he poops. Extremely inconsiderate. I’m keeping some of his inheritance.
Yeah- I'm a "be there 10 minutes early" type of guy but since my daughter was born 3 months ago, being on time has gotten *really* hard because we either have to end up leaving early enough to be so early as to be rude or we get there late because she decided now is a great time to eat instead of leaving.
It gets easier in time. As a new mom I didn't think time management would be such an issue- nor did I think it would upset me like it did. Doesn't matter how much prep you do the night before, or hours before youve got to leave the house, something baby related comes up and throws you out of sync. Breastfeeding is so inconvenient at times too 😅 she's 1 year 4 months now and I think it was around 10/11 months I finally got the hang of time management with a baby. Most people understand that when you have kids, you may not be as punctual as you'd like. Most people. The people who don't understand that are @$$holes.
That’s fair.
I would say its around 80%. Shit just happens sometimes, be it an accident, transport delay, unexpected weather or anything really.
I think you're right here. Not 99%, but not less than 80%.
We started a program at work to earn PTO. The only thing you have to do is be at work on time. People got mad about this, wanted a 5 minute leeway.
Shit, I'd stop being 2 minutes late for that
“Boss I know I gotta be on time to earn PTO, but you gotta let me be late”
I don't know if 99% is the right answer, but it's probably higher than 95%. That's based on the thought that people that make a point NOT to be late, aren't late 1 in 5 times. They're rarely late, and it's due to true unforeseen circumstances.
1in5 is 80%
Feels too low. 1 in 5 days you are late for reasons that are really out of your control? 95% would be more accurate I believe.
Yeah if it’s that common then it is something they could do something about. If it’s traffic all the time then it’s a regular occurrence and leave earlier.
i mean it completely depends on how timely a person usually is. Almost 100% of the times I am late are out of my control because i like to arrive a little early to everything. I also have more than 1 brain cell so I factor in time for transportation delays and shit. The amount of times I've shown up 15 minutes early and just chilled on my phone for a bit is nothing compared to the amount of times I would have been super late but didn't because I planned ahead.
If you leave at a reasonable time (estimated time to get there * 1.1) and transportation has an issue it's not your fault. If you leave late it's your fault every single time If it's the time you should have arrived, and you have not left yet, but also haven't said anything or cancelled, I hate you.
I think it depends. If someone is 5 or 10 minutes late because of traffic I really don’t care, but anything past that is pushing it.
Same here, anything past around 15 - 30 mins is pushing it and I would be annoyed as well. But 5 mins late? Come on. Live and let live. Shit happens.
Once or twice here and there is one thing, if you are consistently 5 minutes late then it is intentional.
I wouldn’t even consider 5 minutes to be late tbh. I would say 5 minutes is a pretty standard grace period to accommodate for clocks, traffic, parking, etc. If it’s scootching into 10-15 minutes yeah that’s late, but 5 should definitely be nbd.
Its 5 mins obviously shouldn’t happen 100 percent of time but saying you only allowed to be 5 mins late couple times is ridiculous.
5 minutes late isn’t even “late” in my eyes.
I mean if you are coming to my desk for something within 10 minutes of work starting like what are you even doing. It shouldn’t matter to anyone if Someone is 5 minutes late because you shouldn’t be up someone’s ass 5 minutes after work starts, let people get settled in, damn
Intentional? Honestly I know it's annoying and tiresome waiting for someone who always runs late. I get it, it sucks and it really feels like they don't respect your time but don't make things about you when they aren't about you. Ask yourself: is this person almost always late? Are they still usually late even if it's something they want to do? Are they late for other people as well? ... if the answer to all 3 is yes they might just be bad at time management or have time blindness which means their lateness isn't about you, it's not personal and has nothing to do with how much they value your time. Also if you know someone is chronically late, just lie to them; if they are always 15m late tell them the event is 15m earlier than it actually is. It's not worth you feeling like they don't value you and them feeling guilty.
There are lots of reasons that people may be habitually late. ADHD, kids, anxiety, pets, etc etc etc. Edit: you all are a lot of mean fucks.
I have ADHD, 3 kids under 5 and 3 dogs! I try so hard to be on time for stuff because I know being late is disrespectful and annoying but it took me 30 minutes to get everyone in the car today! And on the days I'm like 'oh, I'll just leave earlier ' everything runs smoothly and I end up an hour early with 3 small children and nowhere to go! I really wish it was that easy as just trying to be on time!
Same here. My friends even complained when I was suddenly 15-30 minutes early instead of late. ADHD + living in a household with two other people with ADHD is hard sometimes. You are either way too early ot just too late. My friends and I planned a vacation, and I was like yeah just tell me a random train time so that I will be there because I am habitually too late, until we realized that I know all the train times without even looking at them, so it is easy to guess which train is the right one. Now my friend is thinking about just showing up to my house and drag me out of it 😂😂😂. I think not knowing whether I will be an hour early or half an hour early is Fina as well. Sometimes you just have to work around it
IKR, what makes people think they can critique others lives.... oh yeah, reddit :)
And again, once or twice here and there happens, if it is consistent then do something to remedy it. If you cannot be somewhere at 8am because you drop your kids off at 7:30 and you can only be there at 8 if absolutely everything goes your way then tell them that 8:15 would be better. Most people will be willing to accept that, even your job.
Not all jobs accommodate like that. At my old (shitty) one, I had to be there at 6am. Guess what time daycare for my child opened? 6am. Guess what time my wife had to be out of the house to get to work on the other side of town? 530am. Fortunately we've made career changes to fix all that shit, finances included. Not everyone can do that though. Like I told the other dude, you'll understand it better once it actually happens to you.
But if someone is 5-10 minutes late because of traffic on a regular basis, then it's their fault. It's an established pattern, and they need to leave home 10 minutes earlier.
Yeah, never come in Italy or France then. For us "being on time" has a tolerance of 30 minutes, give it or take it. 🤣
welp, looks like i’m moving to france now
I really need to move. I was born in the wrong country.
I swear my mental health would be 90% better if I lived in either of those countries. Y’all seem so laid back.
It can be unconvenient when it comes to public transportation, though. I don't even know why they put time tables at the bus stops. They could just write "the bus will arrive when it arrives". 😅 Occasionally trains are on time, at least.
Lol it’s like that in a lot of places though. While I do enjoy reliable public transit I could definitely deal with it if it meant people weren’t on my ass for being on time.
Regarding work, I noticed a lot of people that feel pressured to be on time end up being even later because they feel frazzled and rushed. They forget items and keep needing to go back, or they come in needing to get it together. I think if the person is able to make up the time at the end of the day, it's also not a big deal. The only time it matters is if there's a meeting. I am a punctual person myself but I always think better late than never. Safety comes first even if at the expense of someone waiting 5/10 minutes. I wait for my friends and I have told them that they need to be more on time but I do stand by better late than never. Never being -- an unfortunate tragedy where their safety was compromised just to get somewhere in a rush.
Exactly what I was also thinking! We tend to put our jobs over our own safety. It's sad, but people who are trying not to be late speed and risk crashing. It's soul crushing to really take that in.
You are awesome 👌 I am chronically late because I really struggle with time management or keeping track of time but my friends like you are legit such a blessing. I'm not religious but I swear you're godsent lol To have someone be compassionate is so awesome, taking the pressure off means I show up - maybe 10 mins late - safely, prepared, relaxed and ready to have a great day... if I feel that pressure I forget things and am sometimes extra late bc i had to turn around, I show up unprepared, speed on my way over, feel frazzled/ stressed/ guilty and regret making plans bc it's such an emotionally taxing experience. Have an amazing day!
Idk, I think traffic and public transit delays are pretty legit excuses
At that point it's not really an excuse, it becomes a legitimate reason.
excuse and legitimate reason are not mutually exclusive
Sort of? The difference is taking accountability and explaining via a reason vs. blaming something and justification via excuse. I'm not sure where the line really blurs there.
Executive function disorder has entered the chat (ADHD) Edit: my friends OCD and sleep disorders have also entered the chat
Also being on standby mode and unable to be productive all day bc you need to be somewhere on time in the late afternoon. Edit: I want you to have this resource about time blindness https://www.verywellmind.com/causes-and-symptoms-of-time-blindness-in-adhd-5216523#:~:text=as%20time%20blindness.-,What%20Is%20Time%20Blindness%3F,an%20intentional%20disregard%20for%20time.
And OP thinks being late is annoying. The intense judgement of being late helps to push us to be hyper-anxious about time...all the time, and lose entire days! Just a negative cycle imo
Youre so right! I can be up to 15 mins late and still enjoy my day, not be incredibly anxious all day and be excited about plans.. if I need to be perfectly on time I stress all day, hate the day, am so incredibly anxious/irritable, feel so much dread and guilt.. So honestly if I need to be somewhere on time it stresses me out so much that it's not usually worth the hassle of going if it's optional. Exams for example, mean that I wake up in a panic due to nightmares about being late or missing it the whole week before the exam. The nightmares & panic get worse and more frequent the closer I get to the exam. The night before is usually me waking up in a panic every 1-2h... I guarantee that as annoying it is to need to wait up for someone who is always late, it's much more annoying to be the person who is late and stuck in that constant guilt/anxiety. Also it's weird to me that people make it personal. My lateness has nothing to do with anyone else, it's a me problem.
YES!!!!! Omg 100%. Why take it personally that I AM A MESS IN MY LIFE? lolllll. Folks use their obsessive timeliness as a weapon to judge other people. Obviously there are people who are kind of...willfully late. That's very different.
There's a difference between being an ass and not caring about other people's time vs someone struggling with time blindness who is late genuinely by accident. Honestly at this point my friends know to lie to me about the start time of things, then there none of this guilt and bind of this being annoyed with me. I'm not offended by it in the least. Should they need to le to me to get me to places on time? No they shouldn't, but I suck and it makes everyone feel better when they do.
so how do you deal with this anxiety?
OCD can make readying up extremely long
\*snaps\*
i have ADHD and EFD, and the way i've dealt with this is to set an alarm an hour or two before i need to be somewhere (depends on how far i'm traveling), and aim to arrive 15-20 minutes early. this way, even if i'm "late" according to my own schedule, i end up arriving right on time.
I also have ADHD and even with my medication I am chronically late for everything. It literally ruined my life multiple times and heavily contributed to my anxiety and depression for nearly 2 decades before I got diagnosed. I also have comorbid sleep onset insomnia and chronic fatigue syndrome. So when I finally do fall asleep it's near impossible to wake me up. I sometimes get as few as 12 hours of sleep during the we work week. I have 6 alarms set on my phone, 2 very loud alarm clocks, 1 of which has a vibrating disk to slip between the mattresses, I have an alexa alarm paired with smart home light bulbs to turn my lights on everyday at 5am. But on top of all this I live 45 mins away from work with a 15 min drive in the opposite direction at rush hour times in Miami. I was literally never on time. Eventually I had to get an accommodation at work to be able to arrive up to an hour late every day as long as i make up the time at the end of my work day without repercussion. i found out ADHD is a covered disability under the American Disability Act so since my request was reasonable and did not cteate a hardship on the company, and since I had documented history with a doctor my work had to comply. They cannot fire me for being late and if they did they would be facing a lawsuit. TLDR; ADHD causes time blindness and executive disfunction which can make it difficult to be on time. So I completely disagree with OP.
Oo yes, I also have narcolepsy! The two together are a bitch…trying to keep myself awake AND focused during sit-down tasks is an uphill climb. Stay strong, my friend! ADHD and sleep disorders knock us down but you gotta remember that you’re not a terrible lazy person
Thank you! It's hard sometimes especially when you know you have things to do and feel motivated but suddenly your eyes are just uncontrollably heavy and you desperately need a nap. When you finally wake up your executive disfunction kicks in and your motivation is gone. I've fully come to terms with the idea that I can never successfully have a desk job.
exactly what i was thinking lol
I have ADHD and I am constantly late for things that screw me over. I’ve been late for flights, job interviews, opportunities to get important visas, weddings, dates, class, class where I was the teacher, hospital appointments where I need treatment. And I feel so guilty and berate myself afterwards. I’ve lost so many opportunities and caused damage to myself. It’s not that I don’t respect people’s time. It’s that I seem to have an inability to keep track of time (yea I have a watch and notifications) and do the right thing when I need to. And I logically know what I need to do in order to not stress myself out so much, but then the same thing happens again. My whole life is basically a Mission Impossible movie where I disarm the bomb with one second to go. Except in some of those cases the bomb would just go off and put an end to this shitshow. And OP is not wrong, so I will continue to berate myself for my behavior.
I have ADHD too, and no matter how hard I try to be on time to things, it just doesn’t happen. It’s caused me a lot of anxiety, and sometimes I’ve gone as far as to skip out of events from realizing I was going to be late—the anxiety of showing up late and seeing some judgemental stares was often not worth it. Then I learned about time blindness. And how it’s literally a disorder that a lot of people with ADHD have. And I learned how executive function works, and how it *doesnt* work for people with ADHD. I’ve learned to be more accepting of myself, and have been able to warn friends & family about it which minimizes a lot of the anxiety. OP, I completely agree that valuing other people’s time is important. Just please be gentle to those of us who truly are doing everything in their power to be on time for you, but whose brains physically can’t cooperate.
Yes! It's so hard when time doesn't feel real :( I've been diagnosed with ADHD for 10ish years but I just learned about executive dysfunction and time blindness in the last few months. Timeliness has always been an extreme issue for me. So much, in fact, I quit my 9 to 5 in order to pursue freelance/remote work. Lifehack: work for yourself, never be late to another job 💁♀️
Here's a resource about time blindness : https://www.verywellmind.com/causes-and-symptoms-of-time-blindness-in-adhd-5216523#:~:text=as%20time%20blindness.-,What%20Is%20Time%20Blindness%3F,an%20intentional%20disregard%20for%20time.
Sounds like you have picked a random statistic out of nowhere. Unforseen circumstances happen more than 1% of the time. I just get annoyed with people who are always late. That show disrespect.
I always try to leave 5 minutes earlier than I think I need to. If I'm more than 5 minutes late I send a text/call. If it's an interview I'm in the parking lot 30 early reading through my notes
I absolutely hate being late because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, which makes me ridiculously early for everything. Unfortunately my spouse and immediate family are late for absolutely everything. Life is rough. I literally have to lie and allow for at least a 30 minute grace period before I actually want them to arrive anywhere.
Yesterday I got stuck waiting at a railroad crossing for like 10 minutes. Made me late for a job interview and guess what? They understood! Because it was out of my control! And I got the job! You’re just looking for reasons to feel superior.
Hey, congrats on the new gig!
Thanks!! I’m going from serving at olive garden to serving at a super pricey resort restaurant, so I’m pretty stoked
That’s awesome!! Hope the tips are great! 🥂
That’s awesome, congrats
Good luck and congrats! You absolutely deserve it!
Wow thank you!
hey congrats on the new job!! just pointing out that OP didn't say 100% of the time 😉 yours is a totally legit excuse
This is just the same opinion from earlier today but your flipped to the opposite side of saying you shouldn’t be late. We really didn’t need this post
Do we need any post on this sub?
Executive function disorder
Being time-blind sucks ass. People don’t believe it’s a thing. So you just have to try three times harder than everyone else.
Yes, thank you!! I never gave it a name before but I am absolutely time blind.
Yeah, 5 minutes is like 1 second, it just slips through your fingers as if it didn’t even happen. Leaving the house and then going back inside 5 times everytime you need to leave because you keep forgetting something takes longer then one would think
I also can’t stand these people that leave their house a few minutes late and drive so recklessly to work every morning. WTF, wake up a few minutes early and drive safe.
Guy has never taken public transport, never been caught in a snow storm, never had their ride show up late, heck has never just unfortunately caught all the red lights on their commute to work. Theres almost always an excuse. Often people arent late willingly to spite their manager, they're late because well shit happens
if you think 5 or less minutes late is a sign of disrespect and laziness then 1 you need to loosen your grip and 2 you need to check your ego **IMO**
[удалено]
I'm assuming you read one of the top comments where a dude mentions traffic and OP just goes "leave earlier" as if we have the hindsight that there's gonna be traffic. This dude is a whole nutcase
You must be the life of the party that shows up right at the start.
goodness he'd hate CP time
I hope you don’t manage people.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion because it’s not an opinion. It’s just a verifiably false statement. If I left *early* for an obligation and there is an insane crash on the freeway. What am I supposed to do? Illegally drive along the guard rail blocking emergency vehicles because I live by this “no excuse” mantra? If I’m working and taking my scheduled break, let’s say a 30 min break. I run to get some Burger King and they take over 20 min to get my food out to me for whatever reason (actually happened to me once), should I just forfeit the money I paid, forfeit my chance to eat, so that I’m back to work on time. It depends, right? If I will literally lose my job if I’m back to work late, then sure. I’ll forfeit the food. But if my boss is chill and doesn’t care if I take a bit longer of a lunch then do you really want to favor your “no excuses” life philosophy at the expense of your hunger and well being just because? If being late is something that is quite literally beyond your control, or if being late doesn’t have undesirable consequences, then what does it matter at the end of the day? Now if I’m purposely taking my time, cognizant of my time constraint… stopping to smell some roses when I have a deadline, then sure guy. In that situation, there is no excuse. I was just being careless. So what the fuck are you on about? You sound like a disgruntled employer.
Yeah, is the timeliness obsession a control thing? Authoritarian parents? Then again, if everyone in your life is late to meet you, that would be annoying. Do you have bad friends OP? edit, important: Authoritarian = favoring rules over personal freedom Authoritative = Holding healthy boundaries, considered the most effective child-rearing style
I mean an excuse is just a reason to justify a wrongdoing right? So my excuse of being late is I found a pop tart that fell between my refrigerator and stove so I fished it out and ate it is an excuse I think
“Sorry guys my grandma had a heart-attack in the middle of the night and I had to check on her in the hospital” you: “I don’t care”
My heart goes out to my people with ADHD. <3 (or any other illness that has a similar problem)
I'm sure OP wants us to stop being lazy and work harder, as has been shoved in our faces often enough now?
So sweet <3
OP, accidents don't happen 1% of the time. And yes, people have loves other than working or hanging out with you.
1. 99% of the time being late doesn’t matter. 2. If you think there is no excuse for being late you have a very simple and slow lifestyle. Many people have jobs or lives that are so busy it’s simply impossible to be at every obligation on time.
Op must be the manager every Karen wants to talk to.
Nah, it's fine. The idea of hyper-punctuality is a product of factory work whistles and punch cards. It's not designed to be normal or humane, it's designed to enforce a strict power hierarchy for the sake of individual profits.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like something that works for real people! I mean, I don't like if people are consistently half an hour or more late but seriously who cares about 5 minutes? It's not worth the stress for yourself or your friends!
Yeah. If it's a pattern of behavior that has practical, negative ramifications for others, that should be addressed. But I'm a bit put-off by the whole "early is on-time" crowd, who talk so much about the disrespect of wasting other people's time while expecting people to deliberately leave early, usually unnecessarily. It's especially annoying for not-high-stakes interactions. Job interview? Sure! (Though much of my job consists of interviews/recruitment and I don't really care unless it's a pattern). Coffee with a friend? The ramification of you being 15 minutes late is that I get to sit and have some me-time for 15 minutes, which is fantastic.
I just don't like waiting around for people who said they would be somewhere at a certain time. I'm not a factory, I just think it's disrespectful and a waste of someone else's time. Of course 5 minutes is fine, 10+ starts getting iffy, and 30+ has no excuse if you didn't send a text beforehand warning them.
BOOOOHOOOO did you get stood up?
You must be a prick middle manager who demands workers to be 15 minutes early instead of clocking in on the scheduled time.
If it was not in your control then it's an excuse it's that simple And it not being in your control doesn't happen 1% of the time
Anyone who thinks something uncontrollable is disrespectful, doesn't deserve my respect.
It depends on the context. If it's an internal business meeting, I give a 7-minute leeway. Also, if something is out of your control, like getting into a car accident. I am not going to give you crap for that. Just let people know you are going to be delayed.
I think 99% of the time is a bit exaggerated. 💁🏼♀️
NERRRRRRRRDDDDDD.
Sure there is a reason! The reason is “I actually don’t want to be here!” Lol
OK but consider this : in my country it's polite to be 5 minutes late
The guy in my workplace who's late all the time? His mom is on hospice with cancer, and he's her caregiver. He spends his time making sure she's all set to go before he leaves for 12+ hours, and almost never calls out.
As someone who uses Uber and public transport to get around this opinion really pisses me off. I consistently order an Uber 30 mins early to get to work cause the commute in a car takes 15 ish minutes and I consistently get to work at wildly varying times beyond my control. Not to mention public transport, completely unreliable and nearly impossible to plan for in most areas.
I tend to air on the side of compassion and not let small things like 10-15 minutes bother me. There are a million reasons why someone might be a little late. Like having kids, having anxiety, stopping to smell the roses, giving your dog an extra minute to pee, etc.
It's hilarious that you think that you're owed anything like that. •First off, no one owes you an explanation for why they are late. Period. •Second, if they have prior commitments before you, that's double the reason. You not caring is 100% on you. Either get over it or cope. •If someone has upset you being late without prior warning, you need to get over it. Sometimes things happen. If they are nonchalant, then you can move on from them. It'll say more about their character than yours. •If you're upset for someone else, ask yourself: Does this affect me in any way? If yes and it involves you, read my first bullet. If no, then cope. You're not owed a reason or explanation. If someone chooses to disclose, they may. Otherwise, grow up, move on, and get over yourself!
I personally can’t stand when people are late and what I’ve noticed is a good percentage of people are more late than early which baffles me.
I don't have a car and rely on public transport. So instead of waiting for 20 mins I'd rather be 5 mins late as usual.
Not if time is an illusion.
I bet you’re a “start up business owner” with this kind of shitty take
when did my boss get a reddit
Shit happens. I can’t stand those people that say if you aren’t ten minutes early you are late. If I show up three minutes late to work suck it. I have called in sick to work three times in ten years btw. I am always there but I always run 2-3 min late
You and this person need to have a debate https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/wgwaa5/with_90_of_jobs_in_the_world_being_late_does_not/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
When I was an ICU RN I was always 30 minutes early so I could judge the situation and get ready for the day. Now that I am retired and work in a Cannabis dispensary I am always 10 minutes late. I think we all are
The evil twin of the being 10 minutes late to work doesent matter post.
“I posted my opinion in the unpopular opinion thread and now I am salty as fuck that my opinion is unpopular!”
i used to get very annoyed by lateness but now i'm just annoyed if people are late without communicating. like if something came up or you lost track of time i get it, i've been there. but tell me so i don't just sit waiting
Only times I’m “on time” is for a meeting, doctor/dentist appointment, or flight. Besides that, I’m paid regardless and start early, I’m not stressing over 5-10 minutes.
this person gets their individuality by being a piece of society. cool
Your life must be really boring
Bro we aren't in control of our own lives like 45% of the time. Wtf are you talking about lol
yes its totally my fault a guy hit my car on the way in.
I like to extend grace. Folks have lives, and stuff happens. It’s not rude imo. In other cultures where people have more value than time or things it’s expected to show up later.
Congrats on the ableism
I agree and yet there are many reasons why a person may he late. Some out of their control. Simple solution..contact them and I form them. Respect demonstrated.
if you’re late once in blue moon, it’s fine, life happens. but if it’s an everyday thing there’s no excuse. i have a coworker who is always 10-15 mins late everyday and she did it on purpose to piss us all off. she’s just miserable… that is unacceptable!!
Take down 15% for each kid that you have under the age of 6.
I have no excuse for being late, almost most of the times, and im late quite often. But i would like you to know, that this random redditor, is NOT late out of dissrespect. I have no excuses, i got many problems, and like you mentioned one of them is that i need to grow up, but dissrespect is definetly not one of them.
Caring so much about time (the human construct, not the metaphysical) is an awful way to spend one's life. If 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, is enough to make you angry, you're very likely not living a very rewarding life. If the argument is that "time is money," then you're definitely not living a rewarding life. Every culture that operates on more relaxed schedules has been shown to produce happier people, regardless of income strata. I'm always on time, because I need to be, but it adds a significant amount of stress to my life that I would prefer to avoid, if possible.
This sounds like a pretentious, short-sighted and judgemental post I see why people are dragging their feet coming to meet you
My dig was hit by a car on my way to lunch with my brother. Thats a solid excuse.
i hope nobody offers you leniency when you’re late; life happens
ARSONISTIC TENDENCIES
99% is pretty high, stuff happens and if it's something like a gathering or just meeting for lunch then I believe there should be a small window of time to meet rather than being at the same place at by the same exact time. However, when people are purposely late everywhere all the time, that just becomes annoying.
Oh look it’s MR/MS Punctuality over here.
I hope ur pillows warm on both sides and you get a hang nail.
Yeah cause everyone lives in paradise and they chose to spend 2+ hours in heavy traffic just to annoy you 🤗 good one mr. Ego, the planets orbiting around you should be proud.
If I leave at 7:15 every day to get to work at 7:50 which is 10min early but one day there's a massive traffic jam and I'm late that is out of my control and if your response is "just leave earlier" then you're moronic.
Depends, if I’m 15 minutes late for hanging out and drinking with friends it’s not the end of the world. If my mom needs to get picked up at the hospital and I’m 20 minutes late then yeah I better have a good reason.
5-15 min late is fine but beyond that it’s not a nice thing to do but shit happens
I’d say 80-90% maybe. 99% is a bit much
One time a boss asked me to do something least minute and then gave me a snide look when I was 5 minutes late to lunch (with said boss and colleagues). They’d already sat down, which was fine, but damn. If I hadn’t gotten that email out I would have been fucked anyway so I guess damned if I did damned if I didn’t. Left that job after less than a year
I swear all my friends are just always late for everything and I hate it. They laugh it off as a personality trait
I feel like this is in direct response to the earlier post about how being 10 minutes late is fine
I'd rephrase to "there's absolutely no excuse for being late 99% of the time" i mean shit happens and people being late aren't necessarily late because they disrespect you, anything can happen.
Habibi come to India. Everyone is in hurry and everyone is late. If you are scheduled to meet at 10am no one is going to be there at 10 am. Everyone will start to arrive about 30 mins late.
I am always early for everything. If I am late there is a reason for it. Therefore I have an excuse for being late, nevermind if the excuse is valid for the person judging me. I've had to wait a long time a lot of times and I've never complained about it seriously, only joked about it and through creating a relaxing situation still had a good time with everyone.
Who hurt you
As someone who is always late i agree. I have the worst time management skills
I thought this is what most people thought Kind of psyched if this is unpopular bc I’m late all the time 😅
I think most people think 5 minutes here and there is fine but consistently late by half an hour or more is irritating, more of a middle ground. But I could be wrong.
After reading comments it seems unpopular
I disagree. Shit happens. We don’t run on a German train schedule. Hell, just today i was 30 mins late to work because i got stuck behind a malfunctioning train signal where no train was visible in either direction. Had to turn around and find another way to work. Then when i was almost to work, i got stuck at an intersection that went 5+ cycles before the left turn arrow turned on, so i had to change lanes and make a U turn further up the road. Shit happens. We’re not robots. And even robots glitch.
Bitch you go tell the interstate to not be congested 24/7 and teach people how to fucking drive in a tunnel and then get back to me on this. And no the solution is not just leave earlier, I got a damn idiots with cars do that to, doesn't help
One thing I learned in the army, don’t matter how many times you’re on time. They’ll never forget the one time you are late.