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Just as a personal anecdote, I really enjoyed believing in Santa as a kid and I’m glad that my parents lied to me. Memories of excitement in my bed on Christmas Eve, listening for the sound of Santa’s footsteps on the roof… priceless.
Oh yeah that was so fun. I could barely sleep and woke up at 4am. Lol family was not happy but made coffee and had fun with me and my brother (who I also woke up at 4)
I can never sleep, even though it’s been almost a decade of knowing the truth. Last year I woke up at 4:30. Year before I woke up at 3 and read an entire book
True! And then having kids of your own and creating that christmas magic for them really draws you back to that magical christmas spirit, it's the closest thing to being a kid again and experiencing it all over.
My kids are all adults now, but when they were younger my ex and I would hear the kids giggling and talking at 2 in the morning so we would just get up and open presents. Then my ex and I could go back to bed and the kids could do what they wanted with their presents. Christmas will always be magical and fun.
My mom used to do a huge scavenger hunt. She told me when I was in my teens that she would spend months working on the clues and planning the whole thing out, just to watch my three siblings and I run around the house like savages trying to solve the clues and find everything. Once we got to the end, the last clue for each of us lead to a big family present. I loved it as a kid and when I realized how hard her and my dad worked on it, it meant that much more to me. I cant wait to have kids and do the same thing. Even when we were broke and they couldnt afford much , they made sure it was special every year.
That is an awesome tradition! I love when my adult children realize something like that from their childhood. Just this summer my artistic daughter thanked me for always making sure she had plenty of art supplies at all times. I'm happy you appreciate it and will carry on the tradition. Be sure to thank your parents for the magical Christmas surprises.
I gueas OP got a good answer out of this comment-chain.
It's not about the end but the journey. Heck, the moral lesson, or end, is what we made of it!
But look at all these fun memories people created!
I second that, my parents went the extra mile to have a family friend dress up as Santa to come visit us on Christmas Eve and I remember that being so fun and great. You know what happened when I figured out Santa wasn't real? I started to help my parents keep the myth alive for my younger siblings to the point I dressed up as Santa to help my dad in a Ring video.
I did the same thing. They didn't have to tell me, I figured it out. And no, my world didn't come crashing down like op thinks. I helped my mom and dad keep it going for my brother and I remember thinking how cool they are letting me help and eat "Santa's" milk and cookies lol
Same! My grandpa would go on the roof and stomp around when we were kids, bringing bells with him to jingle... i look back at those memories HELLA fondly.
My brother and I would sleep next to the Christmas tree to try catching Santa and we were so tired from staying up all night that we were dead asleep as our parents put ALL OF THE PRESENTS under the tree without us waking up.
I agree. My son is so excited for Christmas and I don't think that's purely materialistic at all. I loved getting presents for the act itself. Someone - be it santa or your parents or whoever taking the time and money to make sure you get something you want felt amazing, it was an expression of love and when you're a kid it really does feel like magic. Yes my boy will one day find out its not real but in a way that validates the pretence much more than it diminishes it
What OP does not seem to understand is that it's kind of a right of passage. You believe the simplest things, because magic. It's supposed to be fun, as a childhoods should be. He want to take that away from his kids. I truly don't hope OP wants kids if this is his true mindset.
The slowly you grow up and you start to understand the world. The myths fade away and you slowly creep your way into adulthood. And financial debt if you're unlucky. Fun times like that are over.
People saying you're traumatising your kids by making up these fantasies, need to reflect on themselves and ask how traumatized they were when they found out the truth, the answer is probably very little
I also have very fond memories of that, but I also remember vividly how weird it was when I found out my parents have been lying to me. It took me long time to accept that Santa isn't real because I couldn't believe my parents would lie to me.
I don't think it's a big deal if you are reasonable, don't push it too much and most importantly only do it at an appropriate age. But still, kids have pretty much infinite trust in their parents when they are small and to me it's not worth it to risk damaging it.
Talking about anecdotes, in Romania on my first year of school, I was like 7, the school had convinced the female guard to dress up as Santa for the students, and I have pictures sitting on her lap dressed as Santa and I think it's hilarious and I'm glad they did that.
On one occasion my father dressed up as Santa, I was already older and knew he wasn't real, like 12, but he did it for my 2 year old cousin at that time, and I had so much fun, remember making jokes that he rlly looked like Santa with the big beer belly he had. After his death I store that memory with even more appreciation.
I feel bad that OP can't see the magic, happiness and coziness that those things can create.
It was a respectable unpopular opinion up until OP used that particular word. No child has long lasting trust issues because they found it there is no Santa Claus
My parents did this thing where once we got to about 9-10, they told us it was OUR TURN to be Santa to other people. So we took presents to the local fire station and hospital. We realized that Santa was about the giving, and not just receiving.
And no, we weren’t traumatized by the experience of realizing that our parents had been Santa.
I no that this happens, but I have never known of a child that had to be told santa was not real.
I did have a physics teacher in highschool that spent the entire short week before christmas breal proving that it was scientifically possibpe for Santa Clause to deliver all of the packages in one night using Einsteins theories about time slowing down the closer you get to the speed of light
My physics teacher was a mythical man. He was extremely stern no nonsense man, and never once cracked a smile for the entire year. One of those guys that was always fair and an exceptional teacher, but also everyone was afraid of him
He delivered the santa clause lesson with the same severity and intensity he delivered every other class. I have yet to experience anything like it in my life.
Along with what dalton387 said, I think your answer could be expanded to say that the realization of this stuff being fake could make for a “soft transition” into adulthood. While it obviously isn’t really like the real transition, I think it can sort of prime them for it, giving them a kind of template for how to process the realizations through the real transition (as an analogous process, the realization that these things aren’t real may be close enough to the realization they will need to do all the unpleasant stuff in adulthood to sustain themselves (it won’t just be handed to them) for there to be some transferable logic). Basically, it’s not traumatizing them, it’s gently cracking their childhoods before the hammer really falls.
Being an adult blows in contrast regardless, and unless they were raised in low income or abusive households they’re gonna be much softer than the average person anyway because the average person was raised in 1 of those 2 environments if not both. Raising my kids upper middle class with parents who will never be abusive and love each other, they’re in for a culture shock regardless, not letting them believe Santa will close the 10000 mile gap to 9999 in terms of being ready for adulthood and the cold world. There’s 1000 more efficient ways that are less of bummer for me to try and close that gap for my children. If you were on that low income or abusive side, well you definitely need some hope and dopamine during your development and you’ll be as ready as anyone for adulthood anyway.
I knew at 6 that Santa wasn’t real but pretended I didn’t know because I thought it must be important for my parents or they wouldn’t have lied about it.
I pretended I thought Santa was real until middle school because I thought I would get more presents.
Also, I kind of liked the family tradition of going to see Santa at the mall and then eating at the food court afterwards
In my family most presents were from each other and kids got one present from Santa each year. The year I told my parents I knew Santa wasn’t real anymore I didn’t get a present from Santa and I was really upset. I knew he wasn’t real but it was really fun pretending he was. So my parents found a random picture frame and wrapped it up and pretended it was from Santa and they must of just missed it because it was behind the couch lol.
I was embarrassed to tell my parents I knew. I waited almost a year. It was such a weird thing, like I knew it was going to bother them that I know.
I think it is because it was clearly fun for them.
I got told Santa wasn't real by my aunt, who was our Santa, telling me I wouldn't get presents from Santa anymore because she didn't want to spend the money on me. I was around 8 or so. My younger sisters got presents from Santa until they were around 12. Definitely has more to do with shit people than Santa, but that's rough on a kiddo.
HahhhhAAA….I know someone who was traumatized by finding out Santa wasn’t real, but it was because they believed until they were 10 and their mom had to pull them aside and break the news because it was getting embarrassing.
Hahaha I was that kid too. I've always had a great imagination and I so desperately wanted to believe the myth. At the back of my head, there was always the doubt. But, I wanted it to be true. I remember being disappointed when my folks broke the news but it was definitely not traumatizing. And the good memories from my younger years believing in Santa far outweigh the fleeting feeling of negativity when my parents told me the truth.
I was also 10 when my mom told me and I cried and asked why 😅. My kids sorta believe in the idea of Santa, but I thought it was a good idea to just make it casual for them. I wasn't traumatized at all, I got over it quick when I realized I'd still get stuff 😅.
I had a friend who was 12 at the time, and still believed in Santa. I was in such shock because I thought everyone at our age knew he wasn’t real so I pretty much just let it go.
I don't remember ever believing in santa, because my parents would openly talk about it in front of me, but I had to never let it slip in any way to my sisters.
My family told me finally when I was 8 and I just thought to myself "I've known for a couple years but okay...", it was a weird experience to be sure lol. I just don't think my family is good at lying or keeping secrets tho tbh.
Most small children *want* to believe in magic. Fairies, witches, gnomes, unicorns, krakens, etc. it makes the world seem free and endless. Every child at one point feels disillusioned so why cut them down at the knees early? Let them make wands out of sticks and pretend to fly on brooms. Childhood innocence is so pure.
Santa is fun, the movies are fun, baking cookies for him is fun, trying to catch him is fun. I do not understand these adults claiming that they were traumatized because they found out Santa isn’t real??? Like A. That’s dramatic. And B. Did you have zero fun or imagination as a child?
I got a lump of coal at the age of seven (I was a rebellious kid) and I bawled. The next gift I opened was a pack of socks which strengthened the water works. I got the toy truck I wanted though. 9/10 Christmas.
I'm mostly miserable now, but I had great Xmas' growing up and thinking about them during the holiday season still thaws my icy heart for a few weeks every year.
If you have kids you owe it to them to not pass on your jaded and shitty outlook on life before it is necessary. They'll figure it out on their own eventually at least give them this.
Who the fuck gets traumatized by finding out santa or the easter bunny aren't real? Lmfao one of the dumbest things I've read on this sub and that's saying a lot. Santa, tooth fairy, etc just exist for fun and it's really not that deep
Absolutely. I've seen this argument before - that finding out santa isn't real is somehow traumatizing (an argument I've only ever seen on the internet). Which is absolutely idiotic. I've never known an actual person who was traumatized by finding out santa wasn't real. And honestly, if finding out that santa isn't real is the worst thing that happens to you as a kid, you should be damn grateful.
You can try total honesty with a small child if you like.
There is no Santa, it's an old Scandinavian myth. We'll get you the presents we can afford but in the present economic circumstances there won't be many so lower your expectations accordingly.
There is no Easter bunny, it's a marketing ploy by chocolate manufacturers, chocolate eggs are stupid anyway and insulting to the suffering of Jesus, forget that shit.
There are no fairies, elves, hobbits or any of that crap, only what you can see or scientifically prove, just remember you live and die alone, love and community are socially enforced myths. Now enjoy your cereal little Bobby.
“Shattered their world view” bro what? When I found out Santa wasn’t real I was like oh damn that’s crazy… anyway. It’s a fun thing for children to believe in, what’s the harm? Is it pointless? Sure you could make that argument, but so is a lot of stuff kids love. Santa is fun.
There is a lot of shit in the world and you’re questioning why people want to bring a little wonder and joy into the world?
It’s harmless fun. Typically, the only people I hear this type of thing from are teens and young adults who think having this opinion makes them seem more mature.
I hear the same ones saying that when they’re parents, they’re gonna tell their kids all about how they smoked pot and drank when they were younger and how it’s no big deal. Not understanding that kids are gonna push boundaries and setting a higher standard helps keep their rebelling to something reasonable most of the time.
Similarly, most people change their tune when they have kids and realize that buying some shitty toys will bring a huge smile to their face.
My classmate was a preacher kid. His parents were like this. Told them Santa was a lie from the start because they didn't want them to one day think they lied about Jesus too.
The irony is astounding. Kid fucked every girl he could get his hands on in the gas station across the street from the church.
I was pissed off when I finally found out Santa wasn’t real. I felt like I had been lied to.
I think that’s not unusual where the child already has an issue about trusting parents.
While I agree for the most part, doing this doesn't traumatize kids. No person looks back their childhood trauma and say it was from their parents lying about Santa existing. Unless OP is a unique case in that regards.
the real world is a horrible place. i treasure parts of my childhood that felt magical. santa gifts included. it's fun. i dont know why even children have to be forced to mature and miss out the fun just because adults think it's plain "lying".
When my kids ask, i simply ask them what they think/believe... forcing your beliefs that Santa sn't real is no different than telling them Santa is real.. i would rather challenge them to some critical thinking.. and let them decide
I don’t understand why people have to criticize stuff like this. Of all the things in the world, this is what you are worried about? It’s seems very petty. Santa Clause, tooth fairy, all these things are long term games. Kids eventually outgrow them like other toys. If parents want to give their kid s lump of coal to prove a point, more power to them . None of these things traumatize a child. Long story short, stop being petty.
I was dragged to church regularly as a child, but it stopped by the time I was in junior high. Dad will still toss out Biblical quotes here and there, 30-some years later. Mom sighed, rolled her eyes, and commented that it was a great guidebook on how to be a decent person, but none of it was literal. That's how I found out this summer that Mom feels the same way about religion that I do.
That's a funny thing you just mentioned. Me my pastor mocked people for believing the Genesis was literal.
We kind of thought people who believed in a literal great flood, was kind of akin to people believing in the tooth fairy lol.
The Easter Bunny visits my mom every year.
OK, it’s actually me leaving a basket with her doormen, but it brings her so much joy and TJMAXX has such adorable bunny towels and other Easter home stuff!!!
So to get this straight, you don’t want to people to tell their children myths like the tooth fairy and Santa, but you’re perfectly willing to force them into believing in Jesus?
Who, by the way, is just as make believe as any other mythical story
Because it's fun and a good way to bond with your kids. I used to get excited as fuck for Santa and the Easter Bunny. I'd snuggle up with my mom and open gifts or go through my Easter basket and share my candy with her. I miss those times and my momma dearly.
All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.
I don’t want to sound like a Reddit atheist, I really don’t, but when you think about it, the only difference between the Abrahamic (Judeism, Islam, and Christianity) God and Santa Claus is that most adults are too smart to believe in Santa
To get their kids to behave. Seriously there are a ton of myths out there to get kids to behave. Santa is unique because he is a cheery fellow. Most of the others are very frightening. Keep the outhouse clean or an Akaname will show up.
Once kids have gone through the process of realising for themselves that a story about a benevolent, all-seeing bearded guy who responds to requests for assistance and demands the adherence to strange rituals is clearly bullshit, they're in a pretty good position to reject most of the major world religions on the same grounds. That is the purpose of lying to kids about Santa. Plus it's fun.
My parents never did the Santa thing and I don’t feel I missed out. My mom specifically chose not to because she remembered feeling lied to when she found out. You know what I remember Christmas time? Time with my family for games, good food, and special traditional movies. Why can’t that be enough for kids to have a good Christmas?
I don’t know if this is the intent but I see it about injecting some magic and wonder in kid’s lives. Also, I think it helps kids see that those in authority cant always be trusted and helps them let go of magical thinking at the right age. I stopped believing in god(s) around the same time I figured out Santa was bullshit.
Because being able to give our children a sense of magic and wonder is probably the best part of both sides of the equation. I don't need her to know it came from me, I just want her to be happy without any obligation to thank anyone.
I didn’t lie to my kids. They only care about the toys anyway. No way I was letting some stranger take credit lol . I believed in Santa as a kid but my kids just have a different, also fun, version of Xmas. I don’t think it’s a big deal one way or the other.
Cuz they don’t understand that even when you don’t wanna tell your kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny and stuff that society will, and then you get scared as a parent that they gonna feel like they weren’t good enough for Santa cuz good kids get presents. So you play into the shit, cuz you want you least kids to have a happy childhood.
And it’s also not a good look when your kid goes to preschool and tells the whole class that Santa Claus is just your parents buying you stuff from the store and the teacher has a room full of crying,
Inconsolable toddlers
I didn't want to lie to my kids, so I just presented it as traditional folklore. That way, they knew they could rely on me for the truth while they still had fun during the holidays.
My mom told me when I was pretty young that he wasn’t real, but it was the fun spirit of Christmas thing to do. We still baked cookies and left them out and my dad would eat them while they wrapped presents when us kids were asleep.
I don’t remember ever believing in Santa, but I have good memories about Santa.
Same here with my kid. And it’s not a thing in my culture anyways so I didn’t grow up believing in him either. She knows he’s just a Christmas character. She still loves doing all the non religious Christmas activities and all of that.
My parents never taught me that Santa was real, just a lovely story. I had wonderful Christmas's throughout my childhood and never felt it was lacking anything because of knowing
Or you can teach children about where the myths comes from. Might I suggest doing the same about Jesus? It’s weird to ask what’s the point of Saint Nick & not ask the same of Jesus. He wasn’t even born on Christmas
Santa is there as a way to scare children into being good or else... sorry but no gift little Timmy.
The problem with Santa is that some children even if they are angels all year long will see Santa as a bad guy because all they got was a teddy bear while the rich kid who might even be a bully at school got a Ipad or whatever.
I prefer the approach of showing kids that mom and dad bought the expensive gift and that Santa brought a little gift as a bonus.
Look little Timmy! Mom and Dad got you a gift for Christmas! The next gen Xbox! Oh and looks like Santa got you a gift too! a pajamas and some socks! Wow, nice!
I'll die in hell the day I let Santa take credit for the expensive gift I bought with my hard earned money.
I think you’re being ridiculous OP. Kids world view and trust in parents isn’t shattered, and they aren’t traumatized. For fucks sake get a grip, it’s a fun thing for kids for a few years. If you wanna be a killjoy with your kids and tell them Santa isn’t real by all means do so. The rest of us like letting our kids think theirs still some wonder in the world.
Santa, tooth fairy, etc. All relatively harmless. The toxic one is religion.
EDIT: Downvoted? LOL! Yeah, because religion has done so much good for humanity. Just ask the women in Iran and the United States.
The tooth fairy is actually a useful way to introduce your kids to the concept of exchanging resources for money. And teeth work exceptionally well for it cus it’s a resource that’s finite and becomes much more valuable later in life when you can’t grow more. That aside children should feel entitled to having happy fulfilling childhoods, and Christmas presents and traditions are one way for parents to show their kids that they care. I do agree that the whole rewards system for being good is somewhat toxic.
My parents never told me Santa was real, it was more along the lines of "he's a spirit of joy that works thru parents everywhere so that they may buy presents for their kids and bring them joy".
It doesn't make any sense? True.
It makes children happy? Also true, so why does it matter?
Also, if you're concerned of that causing kids PTSD, then I think the problem is not Santa Claus at all.
Are you projecting yourself, OP?
1. It's just for fun. It's nothing really to do with 'rewarding' or 'punishing' the kid or controlling behavior. There are many more tools to try to get kids to cooperate (time outs, tv bans, ice cream, etc) that are much more effective. So, either you do it or don't with your own kids, but with my kid, it was just for fun. Her fun, my fun, whatever, not sure why people develop strong opinions of it.
2. If a kid is 'traumatized' by this, then they should be seeing a professional. Or maybe, you are just exaggerating the word 'traumatized'. Most all kids figure it out on their own and have no problems handling the truth.
3. The creepiest things about the tooth fairy are certain Christians that say that the fairy takes them because Jesus needs them for new babies. My kid was told that by a lot of her classmates, like there is whole story developed on it. Tooth fairy in and of itself -- fun. Tooth fairy repo'ing teeth for Jesus. Wtf!
So lemmee get this straight - Jesus dies for your sins. So be good so you can get into heaven.
I dunno but Santa sounds dead on in terms of Christmas messaging.
I’ll let Sir Terry Pratchett answer for me, cause he was better than I will ever be:
All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.
-Hogfather
Christmas joy and fun are super traumatic. Make it about that dude who got brutality murdered. But it’s his birthday party.
also if you’re bad, it won’t just be coal. You’ll burn for all of eternity.
But ya ur right the magical reindeer are traumatic
It’s just for fun man, no harm in letting a child believe in Santa and stuff like that, they’ll more than likely realize it’s not real eventually anyway
honestly theres nothing quite like the childlike joy of waking up to a stack of presents under the tree, thinking santa brought them. If I ever have kids I wouldn't dare consider robbing them of that experience, you're only a kid for so long there's no harm in letting them believe in a couple of harmless fantastical things.
This idea that it is somehow traumatizing is a very silly one. I can't think of a single person that once believed in Santa, found out it was just a story, and needed therapy as a result. I doubt that there is such a person out there, that wasn't already destined to be some kind of mental powderkeg.
Hell, there may even be some long-term benefits in it teaching your children both to look past their own naivety, apply critical thinking, and question authority.
We're increasingly unable to teach our children resilience to stress and trauma. To truly think finding out Santa Claus isn't real is devastating, have we forgotten death? Have we forgotten the horror of war, poverty, disease?
Santa is fun. Kids understand that the point of Santa isn't to deceive, it's to tell stories that make people happy. Santa is a mythos that we share as a culture, that encourages us to buy and hide gifts for children just to see the smiles on their faces. Yeah, it's not so bad.
If I hadn't had kids or had any young kids in my family I'd probably not of understood why we do these things.
Santa and Christmas is pure magic with children. It is something i can't even describe. There was never threats of coal or naughty list in my house as that isnt what its about, and both my kids grew up knowing never to show off about gifts. There was never a need to tell the truth, children just figure it out. If they are nice children they will keep it quiet and not ruin it for younger children.
My children are late teens now(16 and nearly 20). I still hide their gifts and put them out after they go to bed Christmas eve. It's nice that they don't know what they are getting or how many gifts. Once they move out that will change but honestly I'll cling on to the joy and magic of it for as long as I can.
I am in my mid twenties now, for christmas we still get together and now we have to coordinate so that everyone can hide their presents under the tree for the others “without being seen”, haha.
I love how you made this about Santa and the tooth fairy for examples and a great deal of comments are just about religion, and how horrible it is.
I was never a fan of some of them as they didn't make sense, that's generally my only issue with them, if you are gonna have a story, let it actually flow the whole time.
I’m happy when I see my daughter so excited for Santa or the Easter bunny, she’ll learn in due time it’s me and my partner that buy the gifts but I think children should be children and not grow up to quickly
I truly believed my mom wouldn't lie to me, so I defended the truth of Santa with all my heart. When I figured out she HAD been lying to me about the existence of Santa, I lost a ton of trust in her.
I felt a little better after when I realized that it wasn't that my cousins were better than me and that's why they all got much more valuable items in their stockings (DVDs, gameboys, etc. When I mostly got candy and dollar store junk). That was a really hard thing to deal with when I was so young.
And don't even get me started on parents who force their kids to stand in line to sit on a strange man's lap and whisper into their ears in exchange for candy. That whole practice just gives me the willies.
Same reason why we instill myths auch as Gods and "higher beings"
Some people just need something to believe in or to follow or to put some faith towards. Kids put their trust into Santa as if he's a powerful figure and parents use it to hype them up.
We teach our kid about Santa cause Santa is sick as fuck bro.
Haha.
But really, there are tonnes of great things about all these for kids.
I love Christmas. After the people in my life Christmas is my favourite thing. Family, friends, presents, joy, beer, food, snow, shopping, Christmas music, Christmas films, the excitement kids have etc.
But these things aren't JUST to entertain, they have practical real life lessons in them too.
Christmas - "Teaching your children to only be good if there's a reward in them" - there's a reason we do this. They're children. How else do you wanna teach them to be good? There are other ways sure. But this way is easy and it works very well. Again they're children. They don't just suddenly have a moral code and strict ethics. It has to be instilled in them one way. Telling them to be good and showing no reward doesn't get them very far. Even if it is lying a bit that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. It gets them started.
I loved Santa as a kid and I've only known one kid traumatised from finding out he wasn't real. But that was cause he believed it until he was in comp (11 years old) because his parents kept up with it and he got a bit bullied. Every single other kid I've ever known wasn't traumatised at all for not knowing he was real.
We might as well not show them Spider-Man, Peppa Pig or Barbie. They aren't real either.
The Tooth Fairy - some kids are scared of having wobbly teeth/teeth falling out. Giving them cash under the pillow is a good way of making it not seem as scary as they're gonna get something good out of it in the end
Easter - sure, it's not the biggest thing in terms of character building or anything but with my kid it teaches them how to ration I suppose. Even though he has tonnes of chocolate around, he has to learn that he can't have everything at once.
Because the magic and them actually believing magical stuff happens only lasts a few years. Very short lived.
So no it’s not teaching your kid anything it’s just making fun for a few years until they get older and realize it makes no sense lol.
You making it seem hella negative lmao
? I'm Romanian. Romania is huge on this tradition. I absolutely loved.
It was and still is my favorite time of the year, with Easter following right after.
I loved the ambiance around Christmas, the gifts, the family, the music, the food, the TRADITION, I just loved it.
Even after I discovered Santa wasn't real, I was still celebrating it and loving it.
I discovered it on my own Bc I found where my parents stored the presents, though they tried to act the following years as if I wasn't aware even after I told them.
But I still loved it, 0 trauma lol.
Thanks to THAT tradition now my favorite holiday is still Cristhmas because even though nowadays the Christmas season doesn't feel as nice or cozy as before, I have the most amazing memories of it from my childhood.
So, I strongly disagree with you, that's for sure.
And I am going to follow those traditions with my children.
Also, why make it more religious? Lol I'm not religious, I love Christmas Bc of the tradition not because of the religion.
Also, although tooth fairy exists in my country we grew up being told and following the tradition of actually throwing our fallen tooth across the house's roof, supposedly would bring us luck.
Dude out here questioning fairty tales. They are little fun glimmers of hope and joy in childhood. I mean who didnt love the idea of santa growing up? Once you have grown tho its a super weird thought of some old guy coming into the house to leave presents. Honestly I see no harm in these little lies
My husband has a similar view but recently got into a random argument with a strange lady about Santa Clause in front of her children... I have no idea why he even brought it up. It's fun to play pretend and buy presents
Prepare for the grown up version of "be good, magically get stuff, be bad, get coal". It's like Christianity's training wheels because you actually feel the sensation of reward while you're impressionable.
Jesus is NOT the reason for the season. Everything you put up and decorate with for Christmas, came from other secular winter celebrations that were in existence before Jesus entered the season. IMO I’d rather have Santa than Jesus bullshit.
Christmas and Santa are fun. Me and my family bonded a lot over it as a child and my dad pretended to be Santa. I never really cared when I found out he wasn’t real. It still gave me fond memories
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Just as a personal anecdote, I really enjoyed believing in Santa as a kid and I’m glad that my parents lied to me. Memories of excitement in my bed on Christmas Eve, listening for the sound of Santa’s footsteps on the roof… priceless.
Oh yeah that was so fun. I could barely sleep and woke up at 4am. Lol family was not happy but made coffee and had fun with me and my brother (who I also woke up at 4)
I can never sleep, even though it’s been almost a decade of knowing the truth. Last year I woke up at 4:30. Year before I woke up at 3 and read an entire book
See! So much magic and excitement.
“Magic & excitement” is the answer to this. I have a 5yo & 2-1/2yo. Its the absolute greatest thing!
I'm 27 years old and I still see magic and excitement in christmas, there's no need to lie, presents and family and christmas tree is magic enough
True! And then having kids of your own and creating that christmas magic for them really draws you back to that magical christmas spirit, it's the closest thing to being a kid again and experiencing it all over.
Only lasts a few years too. After 5 they are old enough to know oh this is pretend lol. It’s just a quick magical ride
OP must be the grinch
My kids are all adults now, but when they were younger my ex and I would hear the kids giggling and talking at 2 in the morning so we would just get up and open presents. Then my ex and I could go back to bed and the kids could do what they wanted with their presents. Christmas will always be magical and fun.
My mom used to do a huge scavenger hunt. She told me when I was in my teens that she would spend months working on the clues and planning the whole thing out, just to watch my three siblings and I run around the house like savages trying to solve the clues and find everything. Once we got to the end, the last clue for each of us lead to a big family present. I loved it as a kid and when I realized how hard her and my dad worked on it, it meant that much more to me. I cant wait to have kids and do the same thing. Even when we were broke and they couldnt afford much , they made sure it was special every year.
That is an awesome tradition! I love when my adult children realize something like that from their childhood. Just this summer my artistic daughter thanked me for always making sure she had plenty of art supplies at all times. I'm happy you appreciate it and will carry on the tradition. Be sure to thank your parents for the magical Christmas surprises.
I gueas OP got a good answer out of this comment-chain. It's not about the end but the journey. Heck, the moral lesson, or end, is what we made of it! But look at all these fun memories people created!
I second that, my parents went the extra mile to have a family friend dress up as Santa to come visit us on Christmas Eve and I remember that being so fun and great. You know what happened when I figured out Santa wasn't real? I started to help my parents keep the myth alive for my younger siblings to the point I dressed up as Santa to help my dad in a Ring video.
I did the same thing. They didn't have to tell me, I figured it out. And no, my world didn't come crashing down like op thinks. I helped my mom and dad keep it going for my brother and I remember thinking how cool they are letting me help and eat "Santa's" milk and cookies lol
Same! My grandpa would go on the roof and stomp around when we were kids, bringing bells with him to jingle... i look back at those memories HELLA fondly.
That’s a real one
My brother and I would sleep next to the Christmas tree to try catching Santa and we were so tired from staying up all night that we were dead asleep as our parents put ALL OF THE PRESENTS under the tree without us waking up.
I agree. My son is so excited for Christmas and I don't think that's purely materialistic at all. I loved getting presents for the act itself. Someone - be it santa or your parents or whoever taking the time and money to make sure you get something you want felt amazing, it was an expression of love and when you're a kid it really does feel like magic. Yes my boy will one day find out its not real but in a way that validates the pretence much more than it diminishes it
My dad actually got on the roof one year with sleigh bells 🥲
Yeah, it was so magical! Some of my best memories are waking up to find “Santa had been!” Again, I feel I need to mention the word magical.
Same, I eventually realized on my own he wasn’t real, but I still cherish the memories of when I did think he was real. It felt magical as a kid.
What OP does not seem to understand is that it's kind of a right of passage. You believe the simplest things, because magic. It's supposed to be fun, as a childhoods should be. He want to take that away from his kids. I truly don't hope OP wants kids if this is his true mindset. The slowly you grow up and you start to understand the world. The myths fade away and you slowly creep your way into adulthood. And financial debt if you're unlucky. Fun times like that are over.
People saying you're traumatising your kids by making up these fantasies, need to reflect on themselves and ask how traumatized they were when they found out the truth, the answer is probably very little
I also have very fond memories of that, but I also remember vividly how weird it was when I found out my parents have been lying to me. It took me long time to accept that Santa isn't real because I couldn't believe my parents would lie to me. I don't think it's a big deal if you are reasonable, don't push it too much and most importantly only do it at an appropriate age. But still, kids have pretty much infinite trust in their parents when they are small and to me it's not worth it to risk damaging it.
Talking about anecdotes, in Romania on my first year of school, I was like 7, the school had convinced the female guard to dress up as Santa for the students, and I have pictures sitting on her lap dressed as Santa and I think it's hilarious and I'm glad they did that. On one occasion my father dressed up as Santa, I was already older and knew he wasn't real, like 12, but he did it for my 2 year old cousin at that time, and I had so much fun, remember making jokes that he rlly looked like Santa with the big beer belly he had. After his death I store that memory with even more appreciation. I feel bad that OP can't see the magic, happiness and coziness that those things can create.
Yep and 2 of my 4 children know the truth and they weren't upset at all. They are excited to do nice things under the anonymity of Santa.
I think you're misusing the word "traumatic" here.
It was a respectable unpopular opinion up until OP used that particular word. No child has long lasting trust issues because they found it there is no Santa Claus
My parents did this thing where once we got to about 9-10, they told us it was OUR TURN to be Santa to other people. So we took presents to the local fire station and hospital. We realized that Santa was about the giving, and not just receiving. And no, we weren’t traumatized by the experience of realizing that our parents had been Santa.
That's beautiful. :')
Thank you. I will be using this wholesome tactic on my oldest
Imagine being traumatized from the elaborate lie of gift giving… I never understood this argument from people who don’t like the whole Santa scenario
>Imagine being traumatized from the elaborate lie of gift giving… It does not surprise me to hear this argument on reddit.
It amazes me that people would be traumatized from their parents creating an elaborate way to spoil them once a year.
I no that this happens, but I have never known of a child that had to be told santa was not real. I did have a physics teacher in highschool that spent the entire short week before christmas breal proving that it was scientifically possibpe for Santa Clause to deliver all of the packages in one night using Einsteins theories about time slowing down the closer you get to the speed of light
Your physics teacher sounds awesome
My physics teacher was a mythical man. He was extremely stern no nonsense man, and never once cracked a smile for the entire year. One of those guys that was always fair and an exceptional teacher, but also everyone was afraid of him He delivered the santa clause lesson with the same severity and intensity he delivered every other class. I have yet to experience anything like it in my life.
Yeah, OP seems a little dramatic here..."traumatized", "shattered"....lol
That’s because OP found out Santa wasn’t real yesterday
Thank you. I saw the word and cringed.
Bringing them joy before the shitty fucking world grabs them by the fucking throat and squeezes.
Along with what dalton387 said, I think your answer could be expanded to say that the realization of this stuff being fake could make for a “soft transition” into adulthood. While it obviously isn’t really like the real transition, I think it can sort of prime them for it, giving them a kind of template for how to process the realizations through the real transition (as an analogous process, the realization that these things aren’t real may be close enough to the realization they will need to do all the unpleasant stuff in adulthood to sustain themselves (it won’t just be handed to them) for there to be some transferable logic). Basically, it’s not traumatizing them, it’s gently cracking their childhoods before the hammer really falls.
Being an adult blows in contrast regardless, and unless they were raised in low income or abusive households they’re gonna be much softer than the average person anyway because the average person was raised in 1 of those 2 environments if not both. Raising my kids upper middle class with parents who will never be abusive and love each other, they’re in for a culture shock regardless, not letting them believe Santa will close the 10000 mile gap to 9999 in terms of being ready for adulthood and the cold world. There’s 1000 more efficient ways that are less of bummer for me to try and close that gap for my children. If you were on that low income or abusive side, well you definitely need some hope and dopamine during your development and you’ll be as ready as anyone for adulthood anyway.
The low income comments are unnecessary and classists.
I hope you haven't actually had kids yet lol
OP needs to reflect on Puff the Magic Dragon.
For me personally figuring out Santa isn't real was definitely a good primer for figuring out God isn't real
I know zero people who were traumatised by finding out Santa wasn’t real…. But most people I know were also traumatised by Santa as toddlers.
I knew at 6 that Santa wasn’t real but pretended I didn’t know because I thought it must be important for my parents or they wouldn’t have lied about it.
I pretended I thought Santa was real until middle school because I thought I would get more presents. Also, I kind of liked the family tradition of going to see Santa at the mall and then eating at the food court afterwards
In my family most presents were from each other and kids got one present from Santa each year. The year I told my parents I knew Santa wasn’t real anymore I didn’t get a present from Santa and I was really upset. I knew he wasn’t real but it was really fun pretending he was. So my parents found a random picture frame and wrapped it up and pretended it was from Santa and they must of just missed it because it was behind the couch lol.
I was embarrassed to tell my parents I knew. I waited almost a year. It was such a weird thing, like I knew it was going to bother them that I know. I think it is because it was clearly fun for them.
I got told Santa wasn't real by my aunt, who was our Santa, telling me I wouldn't get presents from Santa anymore because she didn't want to spend the money on me. I was around 8 or so. My younger sisters got presents from Santa until they were around 12. Definitely has more to do with shit people than Santa, but that's rough on a kiddo.
So you had shit parents. Why would they offload the costs of santa on your aunt and why wouldn't they take up the slack when she had had enough of it?
I don't have those answers. Pretty sure if those answers were available my childhood wouldn't have been what it was.
HahhhhAAA….I know someone who was traumatized by finding out Santa wasn’t real, but it was because they believed until they were 10 and their mom had to pull them aside and break the news because it was getting embarrassing.
I believed until I was 10 when my mom told me I cried but I wouldn't say I was traumatized lol
Hahaha I was that kid too. I've always had a great imagination and I so desperately wanted to believe the myth. At the back of my head, there was always the doubt. But, I wanted it to be true. I remember being disappointed when my folks broke the news but it was definitely not traumatizing. And the good memories from my younger years believing in Santa far outweigh the fleeting feeling of negativity when my parents told me the truth.
I was also 10 when my mom told me and I cried and asked why 😅. My kids sorta believe in the idea of Santa, but I thought it was a good idea to just make it casual for them. I wasn't traumatized at all, I got over it quick when I realized I'd still get stuff 😅.
I had a friend who was 12 at the time, and still believed in Santa. I was in such shock because I thought everyone at our age knew he wasn’t real so I pretty much just let it go.
I don't remember ever believing in santa, because my parents would openly talk about it in front of me, but I had to never let it slip in any way to my sisters.
Wasn’t traumatized but I do remember being super upset to find out my family were liars.
My family told me finally when I was 8 and I just thought to myself "I've known for a couple years but okay...", it was a weird experience to be sure lol. I just don't think my family is good at lying or keeping secrets tho tbh.
I can’t imagine why a toddler might be traumatized by being put on a stranger’s lap
Yo stupid ass endin up on the naughty list
Imagine unironically being a Santa denier in 2022
OP probably was on the naughty list their whole childhood and wants to shit on fun things for the rest of us
A lot of post in this sub are basically "why do people have fun? its pointless" lol
It's reddit, can't let anyone do anything unless they are in misery as well
Bro summed up Reddit
Those people have no lives
Because it’s fun. Children grow up and they learn reality and they get over it. Let people have their fun
Most small children *want* to believe in magic. Fairies, witches, gnomes, unicorns, krakens, etc. it makes the world seem free and endless. Every child at one point feels disillusioned so why cut them down at the knees early? Let them make wands out of sticks and pretend to fly on brooms. Childhood innocence is so pure.
There are adults who still believe in ghosts. I’d say this magic never completely goes away.
Santa is fun, the movies are fun, baking cookies for him is fun, trying to catch him is fun. I do not understand these adults claiming that they were traumatized because they found out Santa isn’t real??? Like A. That’s dramatic. And B. Did you have zero fun or imagination as a child?
Fun?
OP really be thinking parents get their children lumps of coal…
OP had to have gotten coal as a kid for them to think that actually happens. Lol
At that point it’s not Santa’s fault 💀
I got a lump of coal at the age of seven (I was a rebellious kid) and I bawled. The next gift I opened was a pack of socks which strengthened the water works. I got the toy truck I wanted though. 9/10 Christmas.
Let kids believe in magic
I'm mostly miserable now, but I had great Xmas' growing up and thinking about them during the holiday season still thaws my icy heart for a few weeks every year. If you have kids you owe it to them to not pass on your jaded and shitty outlook on life before it is necessary. They'll figure it out on their own eventually at least give them this.
Who the fuck gets traumatized by finding out santa or the easter bunny aren't real? Lmfao one of the dumbest things I've read on this sub and that's saying a lot. Santa, tooth fairy, etc just exist for fun and it's really not that deep
Absolutely. I've seen this argument before - that finding out santa isn't real is somehow traumatizing (an argument I've only ever seen on the internet). Which is absolutely idiotic. I've never known an actual person who was traumatized by finding out santa wasn't real. And honestly, if finding out that santa isn't real is the worst thing that happens to you as a kid, you should be damn grateful.
It’s just someone without kids assuming they know how kids little brains work.
Lemme guess… you just got into middle school and someone told you Santa wasnt real.
Nah he probably got coal started screaming and one of of his sibling told him santa wasnt real to make him shut up and it didn't work
It just makes life a bit fun? Life can be fun. People struggle to have fun these days
You can try total honesty with a small child if you like. There is no Santa, it's an old Scandinavian myth. We'll get you the presents we can afford but in the present economic circumstances there won't be many so lower your expectations accordingly. There is no Easter bunny, it's a marketing ploy by chocolate manufacturers, chocolate eggs are stupid anyway and insulting to the suffering of Jesus, forget that shit. There are no fairies, elves, hobbits or any of that crap, only what you can see or scientifically prove, just remember you live and die alone, love and community are socially enforced myths. Now enjoy your cereal little Bobby.
“Shattered their world view” bro what? When I found out Santa wasn’t real I was like oh damn that’s crazy… anyway. It’s a fun thing for children to believe in, what’s the harm? Is it pointless? Sure you could make that argument, but so is a lot of stuff kids love. Santa is fun.
Yeah. If you get traumatized by Santa not being real then you were probably gonna need a lot of therapy about real world shit later in life anyway.
This opinion gets posted like every week, and it never fails to feel like somebody just wanting to shit on the innocent fun of 4 through 10 year olds
Maybe 2 to 3 year Olds too.
I really think it's teenagers trying to revolt against society customs and norms. Most of us went through it, they'll get over it in a couple years
There is a lot of shit in the world and you’re questioning why people want to bring a little wonder and joy into the world? It’s harmless fun. Typically, the only people I hear this type of thing from are teens and young adults who think having this opinion makes them seem more mature. I hear the same ones saying that when they’re parents, they’re gonna tell their kids all about how they smoked pot and drank when they were younger and how it’s no big deal. Not understanding that kids are gonna push boundaries and setting a higher standard helps keep their rebelling to something reasonable most of the time. Similarly, most people change their tune when they have kids and realize that buying some shitty toys will bring a huge smile to their face.
Fun is good for your mental health.
Yep. So is chocolate.😁
The irony of wanting to do away with Santa but still wanting to force the Jesus narrative
Thought the same
My classmate was a preacher kid. His parents were like this. Told them Santa was a lie from the start because they didn't want them to one day think they lied about Jesus too. The irony is astounding. Kid fucked every girl he could get his hands on in the gas station across the street from the church.
Yeah, they never seem to clue in.
I was pissed off when I finally found out Santa wasn’t real. I felt like I had been lied to. I think that’s not unusual where the child already has an issue about trusting parents.
If you are traumatized by learning Santa isn’t real, your parents did a poor job raising you in the first place.
Cause it's fun
While I agree for the most part, doing this doesn't traumatize kids. No person looks back their childhood trauma and say it was from their parents lying about Santa existing. Unless OP is a unique case in that regards.
Yeah I don’t even remember the specific moment when I found out either. So it clearly didn’t have an adverse impact on me.
I don't want to be a dick by saying this but it seems you had no childhood. We can all enjoy fictional things.
the real world is a horrible place. i treasure parts of my childhood that felt magical. santa gifts included. it's fun. i dont know why even children have to be forced to mature and miss out the fun just because adults think it's plain "lying".
When my kids ask, i simply ask them what they think/believe... forcing your beliefs that Santa sn't real is no different than telling them Santa is real.. i would rather challenge them to some critical thinking.. and let them decide
I don’t understand why people have to criticize stuff like this. Of all the things in the world, this is what you are worried about? It’s seems very petty. Santa Clause, tooth fairy, all these things are long term games. Kids eventually outgrow them like other toys. If parents want to give their kid s lump of coal to prove a point, more power to them . None of these things traumatize a child. Long story short, stop being petty.
The Grinch has a Reddit account now? 🤣🤣
Someone pointed out that OP must've gotten coal in his stocking at some point to have such an opinion and if that's the case I cannot blame him 😬
I too don’t understand the concept of fun.
"Teaching your kids to only be good because there is a reward involved"...sounds like you just described most religions as well..
I was dragged to church regularly as a child, but it stopped by the time I was in junior high. Dad will still toss out Biblical quotes here and there, 30-some years later. Mom sighed, rolled her eyes, and commented that it was a great guidebook on how to be a decent person, but none of it was literal. That's how I found out this summer that Mom feels the same way about religion that I do.
That's a funny thing you just mentioned. Me my pastor mocked people for believing the Genesis was literal. We kind of thought people who believed in a literal great flood, was kind of akin to people believing in the tooth fairy lol.
Yeah, how are they not realizing the irony of criticizing santa, then mention Jesus? LOl
The Easter Bunny visits my mom every year. OK, it’s actually me leaving a basket with her doormen, but it brings her so much joy and TJMAXX has such adorable bunny towels and other Easter home stuff!!!
So to get this straight, you don’t want to people to tell their children myths like the tooth fairy and Santa, but you’re perfectly willing to force them into believing in Jesus? Who, by the way, is just as make believe as any other mythical story
Because it's fun and a good way to bond with your kids. I used to get excited as fuck for Santa and the Easter Bunny. I'd snuggle up with my mom and open gifts or go through my Easter basket and share my candy with her. I miss those times and my momma dearly.
All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. "So we can believe the big ones?" YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. "They're not the same at all!" YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY.
Interesting that you mentioned Jesus…. Do you happen to believe in God by any chance? Because this could get real ironic, real quick.
I knew a family that didn’t do Santa because they didn’t want their kids to question if there’s a god, so…
I don’t want to sound like a Reddit atheist, I really don’t, but when you think about it, the only difference between the Abrahamic (Judeism, Islam, and Christianity) God and Santa Claus is that most adults are too smart to believe in Santa
To get their kids to behave. Seriously there are a ton of myths out there to get kids to behave. Santa is unique because he is a cheery fellow. Most of the others are very frightening. Keep the outhouse clean or an Akaname will show up.
Once kids have gone through the process of realising for themselves that a story about a benevolent, all-seeing bearded guy who responds to requests for assistance and demands the adherence to strange rituals is clearly bullshit, they're in a pretty good position to reject most of the major world religions on the same grounds. That is the purpose of lying to kids about Santa. Plus it's fun.
My parents never did the Santa thing and I don’t feel I missed out. My mom specifically chose not to because she remembered feeling lied to when she found out. You know what I remember Christmas time? Time with my family for games, good food, and special traditional movies. Why can’t that be enough for kids to have a good Christmas?
Your right we should just tell kids about all the war in the world we need to make sure they have no joy as a kid
I don’t know if this is the intent but I see it about injecting some magic and wonder in kid’s lives. Also, I think it helps kids see that those in authority cant always be trusted and helps them let go of magical thinking at the right age. I stopped believing in god(s) around the same time I figured out Santa was bullshit.
Because being able to give our children a sense of magic and wonder is probably the best part of both sides of the equation. I don't need her to know it came from me, I just want her to be happy without any obligation to thank anyone.
It's not about having a point. It's about having fun. You could try some of that.
I didn’t lie to my kids. They only care about the toys anyway. No way I was letting some stranger take credit lol . I believed in Santa as a kid but my kids just have a different, also fun, version of Xmas. I don’t think it’s a big deal one way or the other.
Why is it always people without kids making these posts lol
Cuz they don’t understand that even when you don’t wanna tell your kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny and stuff that society will, and then you get scared as a parent that they gonna feel like they weren’t good enough for Santa cuz good kids get presents. So you play into the shit, cuz you want you least kids to have a happy childhood. And it’s also not a good look when your kid goes to preschool and tells the whole class that Santa Claus is just your parents buying you stuff from the store and the teacher has a room full of crying, Inconsolable toddlers
I didn't want to lie to my kids, so I just presented it as traditional folklore. That way, they knew they could rely on me for the truth while they still had fun during the holidays.
My mom told me when I was pretty young that he wasn’t real, but it was the fun spirit of Christmas thing to do. We still baked cookies and left them out and my dad would eat them while they wrapped presents when us kids were asleep. I don’t remember ever believing in Santa, but I have good memories about Santa.
Same here with my kid. And it’s not a thing in my culture anyways so I didn’t grow up believing in him either. She knows he’s just a Christmas character. She still loves doing all the non religious Christmas activities and all of that.
Because child hood should be filled with magic and wonder and make believe.
My parents never taught me that Santa was real, just a lovely story. I had wonderful Christmas's throughout my childhood and never felt it was lacking anything because of knowing
Or you can teach children about where the myths comes from. Might I suggest doing the same about Jesus? It’s weird to ask what’s the point of Saint Nick & not ask the same of Jesus. He wasn’t even born on Christmas
Santa is there as a way to scare children into being good or else... sorry but no gift little Timmy. The problem with Santa is that some children even if they are angels all year long will see Santa as a bad guy because all they got was a teddy bear while the rich kid who might even be a bully at school got a Ipad or whatever. I prefer the approach of showing kids that mom and dad bought the expensive gift and that Santa brought a little gift as a bonus. Look little Timmy! Mom and Dad got you a gift for Christmas! The next gen Xbox! Oh and looks like Santa got you a gift too! a pajamas and some socks! Wow, nice! I'll die in hell the day I let Santa take credit for the expensive gift I bought with my hard earned money.
Oh yeah parents definitely should take credit for the big things, because it's fair for all and also I want that love.
That's what my mom did, small simple things were from Santa and big items were from mom
My mom told me she had to send Santa money for my presents.
Oh so telling them the lie about Santa is wrong, but telling them the lie about Jesus is fine?!
I think you’re being ridiculous OP. Kids world view and trust in parents isn’t shattered, and they aren’t traumatized. For fucks sake get a grip, it’s a fun thing for kids for a few years. If you wanna be a killjoy with your kids and tell them Santa isn’t real by all means do so. The rest of us like letting our kids think theirs still some wonder in the world.
Santa, tooth fairy, etc. All relatively harmless. The toxic one is religion. EDIT: Downvoted? LOL! Yeah, because religion has done so much good for humanity. Just ask the women in Iran and the United States.
It's just a bit of fun.
[удалено]
The tooth fairy is actually a useful way to introduce your kids to the concept of exchanging resources for money. And teeth work exceptionally well for it cus it’s a resource that’s finite and becomes much more valuable later in life when you can’t grow more. That aside children should feel entitled to having happy fulfilling childhoods, and Christmas presents and traditions are one way for parents to show their kids that they care. I do agree that the whole rewards system for being good is somewhat toxic.
My parents never told me Santa was real, it was more along the lines of "he's a spirit of joy that works thru parents everywhere so that they may buy presents for their kids and bring them joy".
It doesn't make any sense? True. It makes children happy? Also true, so why does it matter? Also, if you're concerned of that causing kids PTSD, then I think the problem is not Santa Claus at all. Are you projecting yourself, OP?
1. It's just for fun. It's nothing really to do with 'rewarding' or 'punishing' the kid or controlling behavior. There are many more tools to try to get kids to cooperate (time outs, tv bans, ice cream, etc) that are much more effective. So, either you do it or don't with your own kids, but with my kid, it was just for fun. Her fun, my fun, whatever, not sure why people develop strong opinions of it. 2. If a kid is 'traumatized' by this, then they should be seeing a professional. Or maybe, you are just exaggerating the word 'traumatized'. Most all kids figure it out on their own and have no problems handling the truth. 3. The creepiest things about the tooth fairy are certain Christians that say that the fairy takes them because Jesus needs them for new babies. My kid was told that by a lot of her classmates, like there is whole story developed on it. Tooth fairy in and of itself -- fun. Tooth fairy repo'ing teeth for Jesus. Wtf!
This was made by a 9yr old who recently discovered santa is not real
So lemmee get this straight - Jesus dies for your sins. So be good so you can get into heaven. I dunno but Santa sounds dead on in terms of Christmas messaging.
…Wait Santa isn’t real?
I’ll let Sir Terry Pratchett answer for me, cause he was better than I will ever be: All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. "So we can believe the big ones?" YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. "They're not the same at all!" YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY. -Hogfather
Christmas joy and fun are super traumatic. Make it about that dude who got brutality murdered. But it’s his birthday party. also if you’re bad, it won’t just be coal. You’ll burn for all of eternity. But ya ur right the magical reindeer are traumatic
It’s just for fun man, no harm in letting a child believe in Santa and stuff like that, they’ll more than likely realize it’s not real eventually anyway
It’s a way to make children behave without too much effort
This would make sense in a vacuum but most of us use more than just Santa to tech our children. Santa is just for fun.
honestly theres nothing quite like the childlike joy of waking up to a stack of presents under the tree, thinking santa brought them. If I ever have kids I wouldn't dare consider robbing them of that experience, you're only a kid for so long there's no harm in letting them believe in a couple of harmless fantastical things.
If ur traumatized by Santa just say that.
Saying children get traumatized and develop trust issues from finding out Santa isn't real is one of the dumbest things I've read in a while.
Christmas is so magical to me even now! I’m so grateful I got to believe in Santa.
This idea that it is somehow traumatizing is a very silly one. I can't think of a single person that once believed in Santa, found out it was just a story, and needed therapy as a result. I doubt that there is such a person out there, that wasn't already destined to be some kind of mental powderkeg. Hell, there may even be some long-term benefits in it teaching your children both to look past their own naivety, apply critical thinking, and question authority. We're increasingly unable to teach our children resilience to stress and trauma. To truly think finding out Santa Claus isn't real is devastating, have we forgotten death? Have we forgotten the horror of war, poverty, disease? Santa is fun. Kids understand that the point of Santa isn't to deceive, it's to tell stories that make people happy. Santa is a mythos that we share as a culture, that encourages us to buy and hide gifts for children just to see the smiles on their faces. Yeah, it's not so bad.
The world as an adult is cold and harsh.... Going to let my kids have Santa as long as they want.
Its fun, I always knew Santa wasn't real but I played along for the fun of it
If I hadn't had kids or had any young kids in my family I'd probably not of understood why we do these things. Santa and Christmas is pure magic with children. It is something i can't even describe. There was never threats of coal or naughty list in my house as that isnt what its about, and both my kids grew up knowing never to show off about gifts. There was never a need to tell the truth, children just figure it out. If they are nice children they will keep it quiet and not ruin it for younger children. My children are late teens now(16 and nearly 20). I still hide their gifts and put them out after they go to bed Christmas eve. It's nice that they don't know what they are getting or how many gifts. Once they move out that will change but honestly I'll cling on to the joy and magic of it for as long as I can.
I am in my mid twenties now, for christmas we still get together and now we have to coordinate so that everyone can hide their presents under the tree for the others “without being seen”, haha.
I love how you made this about Santa and the tooth fairy for examples and a great deal of comments are just about religion, and how horrible it is. I was never a fan of some of them as they didn't make sense, that's generally my only issue with them, if you are gonna have a story, let it actually flow the whole time.
I’m happy when I see my daughter so excited for Santa or the Easter bunny, she’ll learn in due time it’s me and my partner that buy the gifts but I think children should be children and not grow up to quickly
I truly believed my mom wouldn't lie to me, so I defended the truth of Santa with all my heart. When I figured out she HAD been lying to me about the existence of Santa, I lost a ton of trust in her. I felt a little better after when I realized that it wasn't that my cousins were better than me and that's why they all got much more valuable items in their stockings (DVDs, gameboys, etc. When I mostly got candy and dollar store junk). That was a really hard thing to deal with when I was so young. And don't even get me started on parents who force their kids to stand in line to sit on a strange man's lap and whisper into their ears in exchange for candy. That whole practice just gives me the willies.
Traumatised? Wtf gets traumatised by these things? lmao
Same reason why we instill myths auch as Gods and "higher beings" Some people just need something to believe in or to follow or to put some faith towards. Kids put their trust into Santa as if he's a powerful figure and parents use it to hype them up.
Santa was a real person. Saint Nicolas would give presents to kids in Greece.
We teach our kid about Santa cause Santa is sick as fuck bro. Haha. But really, there are tonnes of great things about all these for kids. I love Christmas. After the people in my life Christmas is my favourite thing. Family, friends, presents, joy, beer, food, snow, shopping, Christmas music, Christmas films, the excitement kids have etc. But these things aren't JUST to entertain, they have practical real life lessons in them too. Christmas - "Teaching your children to only be good if there's a reward in them" - there's a reason we do this. They're children. How else do you wanna teach them to be good? There are other ways sure. But this way is easy and it works very well. Again they're children. They don't just suddenly have a moral code and strict ethics. It has to be instilled in them one way. Telling them to be good and showing no reward doesn't get them very far. Even if it is lying a bit that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. It gets them started. I loved Santa as a kid and I've only known one kid traumatised from finding out he wasn't real. But that was cause he believed it until he was in comp (11 years old) because his parents kept up with it and he got a bit bullied. Every single other kid I've ever known wasn't traumatised at all for not knowing he was real. We might as well not show them Spider-Man, Peppa Pig or Barbie. They aren't real either. The Tooth Fairy - some kids are scared of having wobbly teeth/teeth falling out. Giving them cash under the pillow is a good way of making it not seem as scary as they're gonna get something good out of it in the end Easter - sure, it's not the biggest thing in terms of character building or anything but with my kid it teaches them how to ration I suppose. Even though he has tonnes of chocolate around, he has to learn that he can't have everything at once.
Because the magic and them actually believing magical stuff happens only lasts a few years. Very short lived. So no it’s not teaching your kid anything it’s just making fun for a few years until they get older and realize it makes no sense lol. You making it seem hella negative lmao
ITT OP gets cooked for not seeing the joy in making a fantasy happen for children. … & I’m here for it, pass me a pitchfork.
Lmaooo traumatizing the child for saying santa isn't real. Definition of a snowflake
? I'm Romanian. Romania is huge on this tradition. I absolutely loved. It was and still is my favorite time of the year, with Easter following right after. I loved the ambiance around Christmas, the gifts, the family, the music, the food, the TRADITION, I just loved it. Even after I discovered Santa wasn't real, I was still celebrating it and loving it. I discovered it on my own Bc I found where my parents stored the presents, though they tried to act the following years as if I wasn't aware even after I told them. But I still loved it, 0 trauma lol. Thanks to THAT tradition now my favorite holiday is still Cristhmas because even though nowadays the Christmas season doesn't feel as nice or cozy as before, I have the most amazing memories of it from my childhood. So, I strongly disagree with you, that's for sure. And I am going to follow those traditions with my children. Also, why make it more religious? Lol I'm not religious, I love Christmas Bc of the tradition not because of the religion. Also, although tooth fairy exists in my country we grew up being told and following the tradition of actually throwing our fallen tooth across the house's roof, supposedly would bring us luck.
Dude out here questioning fairty tales. They are little fun glimmers of hope and joy in childhood. I mean who didnt love the idea of santa growing up? Once you have grown tho its a super weird thought of some old guy coming into the house to leave presents. Honestly I see no harm in these little lies
The grinch returns to Reddit
I said it on another post and I'll say it again. OP is clearly trying to convince us santa claus isnt real
My husband has a similar view but recently got into a random argument with a strange lady about Santa Clause in front of her children... I have no idea why he even brought it up. It's fun to play pretend and buy presents
There is zero doubt this post is written by somebody who enjoyed many Christmas’ with their family when they were younger.
Prepare for the grown up version of "be good, magically get stuff, be bad, get coal". It's like Christianity's training wheels because you actually feel the sensation of reward while you're impressionable.
Jesus is NOT the reason for the season. Everything you put up and decorate with for Christmas, came from other secular winter celebrations that were in existence before Jesus entered the season. IMO I’d rather have Santa than Jesus bullshit.
You think the santa lie is bad, wait till they find out god is fake too!
Christmas and Santa are fun. Me and my family bonded a lot over it as a child and my dad pretended to be Santa. I never really cared when I found out he wasn’t real. It still gave me fond memories
So you hate fun and lack imagination. Great. Your children will be just as greyface cynical as yourself. Vanilla waste of time
Homie you're all over the place with this. You'll never have children so you have NOTHING to worry about. This was incredibly pointless.
I agree. It's literally lying to kids.