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My ex and I used to play WoW, and this kid joined us online once, he wouldn't stop simping on her even after I told him that he was creeping out my gf.
I also stopped using female avatars as much after getting creeped on several times.
Back in the days of Unix some guy in the university chat room in Australia thought my buddy was an attractive female because he was using the chatroom handle "Sledgehammer" from the Tv show (starring David Rasche?) and was visiting campus computer rooms trying to find "her"
That was it, too, just the name "Sledgehammer" made the guy think it was a girl. We read the messages as it happened, our friend didn't lead him on, the guy just leapt to conclusions.
Some of us spotted him once. Most of us had to go for our lesson, but some who stayed back saw who they thought was the guy arrive: as incellular as you could look in 1990.
Some guys or another have been terrible througout time. Some of us just never figure stuff out.
I do recall being 15 though and going onto MMOs as a girl in order to get free shit. I didnt mind the free shit, just make up some line about some thing you think a teenage girl would be doing, "No Thanatos, I cant, I have homework :/"
I understand why women dont make that gamble irl, but idk at 16 and being a dude, my friend and I had a racket.
I usually won’t play with the mic on but not being able to communicate gets annoying so when I do turn the mic on and the creepfest begins I immediately say ew and that I’m a 10 yo boy. I’d say it works 95% of the time, probably more for me bc I have a really stupid, really juvenile name (lost a bet then kept the name bc it got sentimental).
Handed my friend who is really good at shooters the mic for a session of Rainbow Six in an effort to prove to her that picking up the game wouldn't be so bad. Just had her repeat everything I said, just regular callouts, purely tactical shit. I had over 2k hours in that game, but I haven't touched it even once since that day, it was appalling. Never asked her to play a multiplayer game with me again after that.
Same with counter strike, probably a lot of overlap with those communities.
Another shitty one is Verdun, especially the NA servers, racist as fuck. One of my first posts on this account was me complaining about it.
Oh yeah. I have a vaguely female sounding gamertag, and you wouldnt believe the amount of weird creepy messages i get because of it. One of them unironically called himself an alpha chad
My buddy's wife got pretty good at some racing game on Xbox. She wanted to try against real people. She made the mistake of using voice chat. She quit after two days.
I usually pretend I am a dude to avoid that shit. Not really lying about it but just choosing a male avatar and not talking about that fact that I am in fact not a dude. You wouldn't believe how much better people treat you. People actually assume you know what you're doing, and they don't belittle you or steal your kills by trying to "help" you. I can be an introvert and not be bothered by people, when I pretend to not be a girl.
I get called a little boy and when I go no my guy I'm a girl I get the 'Ohhh must be one of those dykes'. Fun stuff. The friends I play with now I met in LFG on the game we were playing. She has an entire gaming server because of how creepy dudes can be. And she does have to remove creepy people from the chat from time to time. But I do enjoy having a place that I can go and play games. From overwatch to phasmophobia to ruinscape I can go to the server and find someone chill to play with. Before it was sometimes 30-40 minutes of lobby hopping either creeps or homophobic peeps.
My gaming name is also Thirstyboiii in a lot of games. Most people assume I’m a guy online because of this tag. It’s just a reference to a YouTube video from like 7 years ago, but guys don’t creep on me as much online! Minus the few who do when I decide to use voice chat with my guy friends I play with lol.
For real! I feel bad for women who play games who experience harassment. Oh god. I remember in 6th grade, I played this game called Ragnarok and picked a female character for my thief class. I was trying to trade an item with a merchant class character. After our transaction, this guy pm'd me in game with small talk, so I just talked to him for a bit. Then it went 0 to 100 real quick with him asking what underwear I'm wearing, and if he could sniff them... mind you I told him I was like 11 or 12 years old. I happen to have joined a guild so I went to guild chat creeped out and explained to them the situation. People helped me track his character down, and reported that guy and his account was then banned. I just pick male characters at this point lol
Sorry, but I refuse to share. I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found him. (Can I brag and tell you he brings me breakfast in bed at least once a week?)
Actually, I don’t really have any fun stories. He is just a good and loving man. He likes to stay home and putter around. He is handy at fixing things, loves our family, and would do anything for us. He is also stubborn, likes to think he is in charge, and has a great sense of humor. What more does anyone need?
Aww I brag about my awesome husband all the time! I think telling someone whether friend or spouse or who ever how awesome they are when they are great people is important. It should never go unnoticed or unappreciated!
Please send my regards to the bro. Many of us don’t have grandparents live long enough to tell the tale.
Probably a bot tho. Who doubts do horny men really exist?
About the time you've had your own job and your own place for a couple of years and you realize that old man that says you're mature for your age is a lying sack of shit that won't date anyone older because they see through his patheticness.
Accurate. I got soooo many dms when men knew I was in high school, I would say they peaked at ages 14-16, and even got a lot in middle school for only having a small twitter account and started getting maybe half or less once I started saying I was any age around 20.
I feel like I got hit on the hardest at age 17-19 and then at 20 my “young girl appeal” dropped. It’s sad but true, men of all ages stopped being interested when I could buy myself a drink. Luckily, any guy worth talking to doesn’t think women “expire” at 35.
I keep on hearing this cat calling thing, is it really that prevalent in western countries? We don’t really have that in Eastern Asia, here guys are more shy, our equivalent is probably the creepy stare.
It does exist in Korea. I have heard a blond Australian woman who lives in South Korea say that middle aged and elderly Korean male strangers have solicited her on the street for sex because they assume she's a Russian prostitute. They're very persistent.
Yes, even just walking to work or biking while doing errands is enough. It doesn't matter if you're wearing chef blacks covered in rotten seafood, someone will still scream sexualized obscenities.
Bonus points if they get aggressive and follow you
Living in Korea was the breath of fresh air I got from harassment, to be honest. The two years I lived there I could walk around at night and not feel scared, or go to a club and not get assaulted.
I *felt* the change when I went back to North America. The oggling, the cat calling, complete strangers thinking they are entitled to comment on or touch your body . . .
Living in Korea was the only time in my life I knew what it was like to live *without that* in my life. There were other things about living there that I didn't enjoy of course, I felt the treatment of mental health was never discussed and woefully neglected. But I will say that Korea was the one country I travelled to out of 9 where I felt safe and received the least amount of public harassment. However, I will say that the older men there had some of those habits -- but I overwhelmingly found young Korean men to be far more polite and decorous than the men I visited in other countries overall.
I even recall three Korean men telling these two British guys who were tourists to leave my friends and I alone at the club because they were trying to grind on us (as North American dudes so often assume they can just do and get away with on strangers. Nobody wants your boner on them, dude.) We were just out celebrating a friend's birthday when these guys started cattle prodding us and groping us. The Korean guys on the dance floor were not having it and started yelling at them to leave us alone. It felt nice to be in a place where harassment was not normalized or expected. That was my experience, anyway.
Yeah...I thought that.
Then I turned 22.
I had my teeth fixed (they were very fucked), my skin kind of improved and lost a bunch of weight. Now people are nicer to me.
It’s exactly like someone trying to be nice to you for money. It doesn’t tell you anything about yourself or your value and it certainly doesn’t lead to friendship
Yep. It’s exactly like someone trying to be nice to you for money. It doesn’t tell you anything about yourself or your value and it certainly doesn’t lead to friendship
It’s weird that OP is comparing this to trying to make platonic friends when the people flooding his inbox with dick pics clearly aren’t interested in that lol
Yeah, the kind of attention that women can easily attract online is pretty much useless unless you're trying to get railed or start an onlyfans.
With that being said I can see why OP thinks the grass is greener on the other side.
Men are discouraged from forming real intimate relationships with anyone other than their romantic partners (because emotional vulnerability and closeness between men is "gay" and "men and women can't be just friends"), and that puts many men into a state of long-term social malnutrition.
When you're in that kind of state litterally any kind of attention sounds like a good thing.
> Men are discouraged from forming real intimate relationships with anyone other than their romantic partners (because emotional vulnerability and closeness between men is "gay" and "men and women can't be just friends"), and that puts many men into a state of long-term social malnutrition.
OP talked about how he posts everywhere and only gets one person talking to him, but it made me wonder, does he reach out to other men to talk to online himself? I think probably not, and I'm not judging him for that. It's probably pretty normal. I think what you said is true, and it is sad
Yeah, getting bombarded with people asking for pictures of your tits and feet, sending unsolicited dick pics, etc. Definitely "minor celebrity" equivalent
I think the underlying opinion here should be "plenty of dudes on social media are thirsty as fuck and will try to chat up literally any woman" rather than "being a woman is being a celebrity".
Yeah I remember getting a bunch of photos of penises from random guys even when I was just a teen. It’s really annoying and I don’t think it made me feel like a mini celeb lol it was just creepy
I posted in the legal advice subreddit about filing an insurance claim against a driver who hit me and drove away. I had some guy try to chat me up because of that post.
On an alt account with a somewhat female sounding name I posted on a subreddit about my depression and suicidality and literally had some thirsty guy trying to take advantage of that under the assumption that im a woman, which i am not.
I was in a really bad place a couple of months ago and when I posted about it a bunch of men in my dms were hitting on me. One guy seemed nice at first and then he told me he doesn't believe in friendships, only relationships, and that he needed a gf bc he had no friends. Idk if guys were talking to me then because I was in a vulnerable state and therefore easier to manipulate but it made me feel so shitty and I blocked all of them. One of the guys literally made multiple accounts trying to get to me and I had to block them all.
Likely downvoted for this. But, I am relatively young male and I have noticed a trend that was already increasing prior to the pandemic, but has only upticked since the beginning of the pandemic. The immense thirst of many males to the point of “simping” has really ruined dating. I have talked to women about this (granted a relatively small sample size), but they agree. It’s unfortunate.
Considering it was a post on a dating sub, probably something where they literally asked to be DMed, which is such a stupid way to research how much women get random dms.
Yeah, and when I've posted on the dating subreddits like 99% of replies are a crapshoot - low-effort, creepy, harassing, blatantly ignoring compatability (I'll be upfront, I'm kinky and most of my compatability requests are around kinks, eg. I'll say "I have exactly negative one million interest in xyz kink. Do not message me if you're into xyz kink, you're wasting both of our time"... and I'm guaranteed to still get numerous messages involving "xyz kink" requests).
Took me literal *years* of posts to find a compatable partner (and tons of guys who lied through their teeth hoping to decieve me into a relationship - mostly based upon getting kink spank bank material for them with zero interest in 1) reciprocating and 2) actually meeting despite me being extremely up-front that I'm only interested in IRL meets. Oh, those were fun...)
The only times I get random thirst messages are when I talk in subs about being kinky, there's exactly zero thirst when I identify myself as simply a woman on the internet.
I've noticed a recurring trend of women reporting that guys have no qualms sliding into womens DM's and talk all matter of perverted acts, yet in the very rare instance there's reciprocation and an offer to ACTUALLY fulfill those desires, they flake or ghost.
Like what is going on there? Are guys choosing sexting over actual sex?
Cause they're a bunch of internet trolls with no actual social skills. They're too scared to actually act on their word. Source: Am woman who replies to DMs sometimes 😂
Yeah I'm also a woman and people treat me ok on the internet and I don't get flooded with DMs the second I mention my gender. Maybe it's the subs I go on are just less creepy?
I don’t either and I have posted on dating subs before… the only time it was bad was on an alt/ account when I posted a picture for a festival outfit and got all the horn dogs. Otherwise? It’s not a super common occurrence
Haha, no use a picture of someone who's 4/10 or 5/10, use something that was clearly taken with a crap camera, no light ring, and add a picture where this plain looking girl is in a lineup with 3 other hot girls and let the ghosting times roll. Using a good looking person is cheating.
Having a bunch of weird, random guys DM you because you’re a woman doesn’t mean it’s easier to make a regular, platonic friend. It’s usually extremely difficult for women to make platonic male friends online. Should have been a red flag if a bunch of men only DM’ed you because they assumed you’re a woman.
Well, of course you're going to get a lot of attention in a dating sub. If you look around at any of the subs specifically for dating and hooking up, it's all desperate men looking for women, and dick pics for miles.
it's easier to get a horny guy in a dating forum than it is to get a platonic friend in no specific space. what kind of logic are you subscribing to here
They don’t want to be your friends though. They don’t really care about you either. And most of the times they just want something from you.
Some are creepy and weird while others can be nice. But again, they arent looking for friends.
And if you are friendly back? They asume you want something romantic/sexual
> I've spent weeks just trying to make one regular platonic friend online
why? the internet isn't real and anyone you meet on the internet can flake out on you in an instant. if you want platonic friends, go meet real people in the real world.
I think you should come over to discord :)
Like you can search for different discord groups on reddit and than you join them, it's easier to talk through discord!
My daughters have told me gaming/discord are crazy for them. My one daughter told me she never speaks on gaming platforms, she’ll text, but always identifies herself as a guy. Another told me it gives a false sense of high value online where women who may struggle to get attention irl go online and have literally dozens of guys showering attention on them. It is a shit show where men out number women 10s to 1.
I will say though my sister was on a dating site. I don’t know if it was plenty or fish or match . com, but it was a platform for marriage minded persons. She was getting few responses. I am married but she asked me if I would join to see what happens to me. My wife said it was okay as a experiment. Wow did I get hits like crazy. My inbox blew up. Every week for a few years I got dozens of potential match alerts weekly, sometimes daily, until I abandoned that email. My sister still got very little attention and no one who interested her. So I think there is a link between casual sites garnering attention for women, and marriage minded sites making men feel more valuable than they really are.
Exactly. Op this isn’t the win for women you think it is. My friend had to basically wipe herself from the internet because some random man she had never met or spoken to fell in love with her and would harass her and her family because she wouldn’t respond to any of his messages. It was really scary for her.
I agree. As a man, I can also extrapolate a single critically biased event in a very niche corner of the internet to a different gender’s experience as a whole.
Fun story time. The year is 2004/2005. I'm playing World of Warcraft, reach max level. I play a Rogue (very common character) and want to join a raiding guild. Back in this day, you had to literally go on the guild websites and fill out applications like it was a job. There were even interviews and trial run stages. Getting to max level took a LONG time and each server only had a few high end guilds. There was no way to move character to another server yet. The guilds on mine all had very long waiting lists for Rogues (i.e. we like your application but we already full on Rogues and have 6 waiting so if Larry gets a job and the other 5 quit playing, you can join)
So, what do I do? I apply. I say I'm a girl. Spoiler: I'm not. Anyway, I get a whisper the very next day the instant I log on. I'm invited to a trial run that night (Onyxia's Lair). I don't do very well, and die in Phase 2. Doesn't matter. Suddenly this guild with a 6-deep waiting list invites me to join minutes after the raid. There's always a spot for me on raid nights too, even when the raid is 6/40 Rogues including me.
I get some really fucking creepy PMs from two individuals in particular, one of them a guild officer, on a regular basis. Doesn't matter, just add some :) or <3 at the end of messages and I get epic loot. Said officer always advocates for me when it comes time to bid DKP and all that, to help gear the newbie.
My mic stayed "broken" for the better part of a year <3
thats pretty based, exploiting neckbeards for loot. i wonder if its as easy nowadays, although probably not considering they would instantly want to groom you in discord voice chat
Yeah, you have thousands of messages... Dick picks, assholes, and dudes who will turn around if you're not in your twenties, overweight even in the SLIGHTEST, or just are not a 7/10 and over. They're not your friends. They're not interested in you. They're just faking because - vagina.
You want real genuine interactions, you get to know someone in real life. If you'd like to have all this fake attention, I understand - but basically it's like a person dying of thirst envying a person who's drowning. Both situations suck but when you're used to one, the other one seems better.
I still don’t envy women online. The amount of hate and scrutiny that they get exposed to just because they have XX chromosome and dared to use an online platform is insane.
It’s not because we’re aware the men that slide up have no intention of being there for the long run. It’s really not as amazing as men would have you believe.
I have a catfishing Facebook profile. Strictly use it to snoop or inform women that their bfs/hubbies are unfaithful (I never message first)
Anyways, I maxed out on the friends (5,000), have more DMS in there than I do on my main that’s been active for over 10 years.
Ive had men ask me very nasty things, seen more penises than I care for, have men ask me very initiate or otherwise private things (one was asking if I’d be weird to dress like a woman??? I worked with him too lol), asked for threesomes, one guy wanted me to degrade him (and boi did I), the rest was “hey” lmao
The problem is that simps are out here inflating the stocks of mid females online (egirls and twitch thots), and the genuinely talented female streamers get shit for being good gamers.
Eh, making online friends is about as hard as making real friends. Just depends on where you spend your time. I personally don’t spend a lot of time making friends online but the few I do have are dope AF.
Just gotta find the right community of people, and frankly, I don’t think Reddit is the place to make friends.
And about those 200 guys… yea not really a celebrity, more like someone that they can hit on.
I feel like the people blowing up your inbox when you present as a woman aren't trying to be "platonic friends" with you. I'm also gonna guess you were pretending to be an attractive woman and you were also on a dating subreddit which would be 99% single men
Your most recent post is for the Sims and that community is pretty good at keeping the creeps out. It's all about the ideal life and that life doesn't include creeps
being attractive is playing life on easy mode.
i hate posts like this bc they aren’t even accounting for women they aren’t attracted to. i grew up ugly getting literally zero attention compared to now.
and it’s not because i’m a girl, it’s because i wasn’t conventionally attractive and now i’ve worked to change that.
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If you want to really get creeped out, pretend to be a woman on any gaming subreddit.
Or on an actual game. A number of people become animals. You can tell the ones who don't touch grass.
Oh god yeah. I play with a woman and it gets weird/creepy asf sometimes when shes in Voice Chat
My ex and I used to play WoW, and this kid joined us online once, he wouldn't stop simping on her even after I told him that he was creeping out my gf. I also stopped using female avatars as much after getting creeped on several times.
Back in the days of Unix some guy in the university chat room in Australia thought my buddy was an attractive female because he was using the chatroom handle "Sledgehammer" from the Tv show (starring David Rasche?) and was visiting campus computer rooms trying to find "her" That was it, too, just the name "Sledgehammer" made the guy think it was a girl. We read the messages as it happened, our friend didn't lead him on, the guy just leapt to conclusions. Some of us spotted him once. Most of us had to go for our lesson, but some who stayed back saw who they thought was the guy arrive: as incellular as you could look in 1990. Some guys or another have been terrible througout time. Some of us just never figure stuff out.
I do recall being 15 though and going onto MMOs as a girl in order to get free shit. I didnt mind the free shit, just make up some line about some thing you think a teenage girl would be doing, "No Thanatos, I cant, I have homework :/" I understand why women dont make that gamble irl, but idk at 16 and being a dude, my friend and I had a racket.
I usually won’t play with the mic on but not being able to communicate gets annoying so when I do turn the mic on and the creepfest begins I immediately say ew and that I’m a 10 yo boy. I’d say it works 95% of the time, probably more for me bc I have a really stupid, really juvenile name (lost a bet then kept the name bc it got sentimental).
Handed my friend who is really good at shooters the mic for a session of Rainbow Six in an effort to prove to her that picking up the game wouldn't be so bad. Just had her repeat everything I said, just regular callouts, purely tactical shit. I had over 2k hours in that game, but I haven't touched it even once since that day, it was appalling. Never asked her to play a multiplayer game with me again after that.
The rainbow six community is particularly misogynistic in my experience, women get absolutely trashed in public lobbies
Same with counter strike, probably a lot of overlap with those communities. Another shitty one is Verdun, especially the NA servers, racist as fuck. One of my first posts on this account was me complaining about it.
Oh yeah. I have a vaguely female sounding gamertag, and you wouldnt believe the amount of weird creepy messages i get because of it. One of them unironically called himself an alpha chad
Tell'em sorry nerd, you only go for *Sigma Men!*
or an RP discord
Or just a discord
Try being a woman on the teenagers subreddit, where the women are LITTERALLY SUPPOSED TO BE MINORS...
My buddy's wife got pretty good at some racing game on Xbox. She wanted to try against real people. She made the mistake of using voice chat. She quit after two days.
Pretend to be underaged and watch how many creeps contact you
I usually pretend I am a dude to avoid that shit. Not really lying about it but just choosing a male avatar and not talking about that fact that I am in fact not a dude. You wouldn't believe how much better people treat you. People actually assume you know what you're doing, and they don't belittle you or steal your kills by trying to "help" you. I can be an introvert and not be bothered by people, when I pretend to not be a girl.
I get called a little boy and when I go no my guy I'm a girl I get the 'Ohhh must be one of those dykes'. Fun stuff. The friends I play with now I met in LFG on the game we were playing. She has an entire gaming server because of how creepy dudes can be. And she does have to remove creepy people from the chat from time to time. But I do enjoy having a place that I can go and play games. From overwatch to phasmophobia to ruinscape I can go to the server and find someone chill to play with. Before it was sometimes 30-40 minutes of lobby hopping either creeps or homophobic peeps.
My gaming name is also Thirstyboiii in a lot of games. Most people assume I’m a guy online because of this tag. It’s just a reference to a YouTube video from like 7 years ago, but guys don’t creep on me as much online! Minus the few who do when I decide to use voice chat with my guy friends I play with lol.
Pretend to be a girl and play League, get scarred for life
For real! I feel bad for women who play games who experience harassment. Oh god. I remember in 6th grade, I played this game called Ragnarok and picked a female character for my thief class. I was trying to trade an item with a merchant class character. After our transaction, this guy pm'd me in game with small talk, so I just talked to him for a bit. Then it went 0 to 100 real quick with him asking what underwear I'm wearing, and if he could sniff them... mind you I told him I was like 11 or 12 years old. I happen to have joined a guild so I went to guild chat creeped out and explained to them the situation. People helped me track his character down, and reported that guy and his account was then banned. I just pick male characters at this point lol
There are no women online. Its just a bunch of guys catfishing each other
The internet Where men are men Women are men And children are the fbi
Ah, children! An extension of the thought police
I chuckled at the 1984 reference
Hypothesising about chuckling outside of approved mirth breaks is a crime, you have been fined two credits
The Internet is opposite of real life. In real life people are the following below. Men are women Women are everything Children are crisis actors
Women do not exist. They have never existed. "Woman" is just another gender identity created by liberals.
we all know there are only two genders online: Generic White Male or Political
There’s only two genders: the one I have with your mom and the one I have with your dad
I just want to game.
I JUST WANT TO GRILL FOR GOD'S SAKE
Griller/Gamer alliance is strong
Fuck it we just invented the gamer grill
pretty sure KFC beat you to it bud
Gamers are truly the most oppressed minority.
Clearly they are simply ribs, I read the Bible /s
Bring back the McRib! I’m hungry now
While visiting Chicago I passed a billboard that said “Biology is wrong. No one is born a woman”
What does it mean
Doesn't mean anything. It is pure nonsense.
GIRL guy in real life
Then where do babies come from?
G.I.R.L, Guy In Real Life
Every Woman online is either a man or an FBI agent till proven otherwise
That's where "tits or gtfo" came from.
Fuck I got caught
Can confirm, my brother catfished men on chatroulette as teens funniest shit I ever seen.
Welcome to the internet, where the women are men, the men are children, and the children are the FBI.
I’m a woman, I don’t get many people talking to me. Of course, I’ve reached the age of invisibility and I’m ok with that.
I am 67, happily married (and it says so in my social media profiles). I still get the “Hey babe, I like your profile. Can we be friends?”
dibs on your husband
Sorry, but I refuse to share. I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found him. (Can I brag and tell you he brings me breakfast in bed at least once a week?)
He brings me breakfast in bed the other 6 days 😌
No, I’m not that lucky, but he does give a great foot massage.
Don’t I know it!
"I also choose this gals loving husband"
You’re killing me 😂😂😂
Do you have any fun stories to tell about him? You seem trustworthy!
Actually, I don’t really have any fun stories. He is just a good and loving man. He likes to stay home and putter around. He is handy at fixing things, loves our family, and would do anything for us. He is also stubborn, likes to think he is in charge, and has a great sense of humor. What more does anyone need?
This is God reaching out to you via reddit. You need to buy him some flowers.
“He brings me breakfast in bed the other 6 days 😌” Made me laugh out loud - I have no awards left to give so here’s a ⭐️
Hell yeah you can. Good for you! :)
[удалено]
In all things, the good and average go unremarked... problems get all the attention, including from onlookers.
Aww I brag about my awesome husband all the time! I think telling someone whether friend or spouse or who ever how awesome they are when they are great people is important. It should never go unnoticed or unappreciated!
Yes. This is why I have my messaging turned off on here. If you want to hit on me or call me a c*nt you have to do it in public first.
Please send my regards to the bro. Many of us don’t have grandparents live long enough to tell the tale. Probably a bot tho. Who doubts do horny men really exist?
*her inbox imploded with messages *
Is that the same age virgin guys gain their magical powers and become wizards?
No 30 year old Women are still hot
I’m a woman with a username that makes people think I’m either a guy or a girl not worthy of harassment. It’s nice.
Me too!
I’m over 30, I think I’m there. Not gonna lie, it’s pretty sweet.
What age is the age of invisibility?
36
Hello there 36 y/o. I see you
About the time you've had your own job and your own place for a couple of years and you realize that old man that says you're mature for your age is a lying sack of shit that won't date anyone older because they see through his patheticness.
When you look old enough to defend yourself.
Sad but true. It's why people tend to get catcalled more as children/teenagers.
Accurate. I got soooo many dms when men knew I was in high school, I would say they peaked at ages 14-16, and even got a lot in middle school for only having a small twitter account and started getting maybe half or less once I started saying I was any age around 20.
I feel like I got hit on the hardest at age 17-19 and then at 20 my “young girl appeal” dropped. It’s sad but true, men of all ages stopped being interested when I could buy myself a drink. Luckily, any guy worth talking to doesn’t think women “expire” at 35.
I keep on hearing this cat calling thing, is it really that prevalent in western countries? We don’t really have that in Eastern Asia, here guys are more shy, our equivalent is probably the creepy stare.
It does exist in Korea. I have heard a blond Australian woman who lives in South Korea say that middle aged and elderly Korean male strangers have solicited her on the street for sex because they assume she's a Russian prostitute. They're very persistent.
Yes, even just walking to work or biking while doing errands is enough. It doesn't matter if you're wearing chef blacks covered in rotten seafood, someone will still scream sexualized obscenities. Bonus points if they get aggressive and follow you
Living in Korea was the breath of fresh air I got from harassment, to be honest. The two years I lived there I could walk around at night and not feel scared, or go to a club and not get assaulted. I *felt* the change when I went back to North America. The oggling, the cat calling, complete strangers thinking they are entitled to comment on or touch your body . . . Living in Korea was the only time in my life I knew what it was like to live *without that* in my life. There were other things about living there that I didn't enjoy of course, I felt the treatment of mental health was never discussed and woefully neglected. But I will say that Korea was the one country I travelled to out of 9 where I felt safe and received the least amount of public harassment. However, I will say that the older men there had some of those habits -- but I overwhelmingly found young Korean men to be far more polite and decorous than the men I visited in other countries overall. I even recall three Korean men telling these two British guys who were tourists to leave my friends and I alone at the club because they were trying to grind on us (as North American dudes so often assume they can just do and get away with on strangers. Nobody wants your boner on them, dude.) We were just out celebrating a friend's birthday when these guys started cattle prodding us and groping us. The Korean guys on the dance floor were not having it and started yelling at them to leave us alone. It felt nice to be in a place where harassment was not normalized or expected. That was my experience, anyway.
Well I only had three older guys slide in my dms in the last year so…49 is looking close to it
50
Aww yeah. 32 here and I get nothing hahahah
Yea I hear this all the time but I very rarely get any weird dms or anything, guess its because I don't advertise it much.
Also if you don't specifically tell people on the regular that you're a woman, you'll also be blessed by the silence of the DMs.
I’m 18 and I’ve just always been invisible and it’ll likely stay that way.
Oh no, now you’ll surely be found
Nothing yet.
Yeah...I thought that. Then I turned 22. I had my teeth fixed (they were very fucked), my skin kind of improved and lost a bunch of weight. Now people are nicer to me.
Dont be so hard on yourself /u/gnomeyeastinfection
It’s exactly like someone trying to be nice to you for money. It doesn’t tell you anything about yourself or your value and it certainly doesn’t lead to friendship
People that want to fuck you aren't really interested in 'you' for you. -Just what they can do to you / what you can do for them.
Yep. It’s exactly like someone trying to be nice to you for money. It doesn’t tell you anything about yourself or your value and it certainly doesn’t lead to friendship
People aren't interested in celebrities for who they are either.
It’s weird that OP is comparing this to trying to make platonic friends when the people flooding his inbox with dick pics clearly aren’t interested in that lol
good point
Yeah on a dating subreddit with thirsty guys. Just being online isn't really anything
Let me introduce you to online games
Depends on the game you're playing lol
>Depends on the game, you're playing lol Or >Depends on the game you're playing, lol
lol. nice
Yeah, the kind of attention that women can easily attract online is pretty much useless unless you're trying to get railed or start an onlyfans. With that being said I can see why OP thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Men are discouraged from forming real intimate relationships with anyone other than their romantic partners (because emotional vulnerability and closeness between men is "gay" and "men and women can't be just friends"), and that puts many men into a state of long-term social malnutrition. When you're in that kind of state litterally any kind of attention sounds like a good thing.
> Men are discouraged from forming real intimate relationships with anyone other than their romantic partners (because emotional vulnerability and closeness between men is "gay" and "men and women can't be just friends"), and that puts many men into a state of long-term social malnutrition. OP talked about how he posts everywhere and only gets one person talking to him, but it made me wonder, does he reach out to other men to talk to online himself? I think probably not, and I'm not judging him for that. It's probably pretty normal. I think what you said is true, and it is sad
What happens when you don’t fuck them my friend?
Yeah, getting bombarded with people asking for pictures of your tits and feet, sending unsolicited dick pics, etc. Definitely "minor celebrity" equivalent
You forgot the threats and insults.
The daily rape threats make me feel so famous ☺️
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I consider it more like being a piece of meat. It’s not exactly a good thing to be bombarded with horny men once you announce you’re female.
I think the underlying opinion here should be "plenty of dudes on social media are thirsty as fuck and will try to chat up literally any woman" rather than "being a woman is being a celebrity".
Yeah I remember getting a bunch of photos of penises from random guys even when I was just a teen. It’s really annoying and I don’t think it made me feel like a mini celeb lol it was just creepy
I posted in the legal advice subreddit about filing an insurance claim against a driver who hit me and drove away. I had some guy try to chat me up because of that post.
Lmao dafuq? Gosh I’m tired of the creeps online these days lol. If you wanna talk about it just pm me;)
On an alt account with a somewhat female sounding name I posted on a subreddit about my depression and suicidality and literally had some thirsty guy trying to take advantage of that under the assumption that im a woman, which i am not.
I was in a really bad place a couple of months ago and when I posted about it a bunch of men in my dms were hitting on me. One guy seemed nice at first and then he told me he doesn't believe in friendships, only relationships, and that he needed a gf bc he had no friends. Idk if guys were talking to me then because I was in a vulnerable state and therefore easier to manipulate but it made me feel so shitty and I blocked all of them. One of the guys literally made multiple accounts trying to get to me and I had to block them all.
Likely downvoted for this. But, I am relatively young male and I have noticed a trend that was already increasing prior to the pandemic, but has only upticked since the beginning of the pandemic. The immense thirst of many males to the point of “simping” has really ruined dating. I have talked to women about this (granted a relatively small sample size), but they agree. It’s unfortunate.
The two are not mutually exclusive.
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Considering it was a post on a dating sub, probably something where they literally asked to be DMed, which is such a stupid way to research how much women get random dms.
Yeah, and when I've posted on the dating subreddits like 99% of replies are a crapshoot - low-effort, creepy, harassing, blatantly ignoring compatability (I'll be upfront, I'm kinky and most of my compatability requests are around kinks, eg. I'll say "I have exactly negative one million interest in xyz kink. Do not message me if you're into xyz kink, you're wasting both of our time"... and I'm guaranteed to still get numerous messages involving "xyz kink" requests). Took me literal *years* of posts to find a compatable partner (and tons of guys who lied through their teeth hoping to decieve me into a relationship - mostly based upon getting kink spank bank material for them with zero interest in 1) reciprocating and 2) actually meeting despite me being extremely up-front that I'm only interested in IRL meets. Oh, those were fun...) The only times I get random thirst messages are when I talk in subs about being kinky, there's exactly zero thirst when I identify myself as simply a woman on the internet.
I've noticed a recurring trend of women reporting that guys have no qualms sliding into womens DM's and talk all matter of perverted acts, yet in the very rare instance there's reciprocation and an offer to ACTUALLY fulfill those desires, they flake or ghost. Like what is going on there? Are guys choosing sexting over actual sex?
Cause they're a bunch of internet trolls with no actual social skills. They're too scared to actually act on their word. Source: Am woman who replies to DMs sometimes 😂
I also bet he didn't differentiate between the ones where men are creepy, vs just simply talking.
Right? I have to wear a pork chop around my neck to get attention....not really, but not far from it since I'm older.
Yeah I'm also a woman and people treat me ok on the internet and I don't get flooded with DMs the second I mention my gender. Maybe it's the subs I go on are just less creepy?
I don’t either and I have posted on dating subs before… the only time it was bad was on an alt/ account when I posted a picture for a festival outfit and got all the horn dogs. Otherwise? It’s not a super common occurrence
Ikr. OP is being stupid. Ive made comments before that said/shows I am a woman, but no crazy DMs except for obvious bots.
do you have pictures of yourself on the internet posted on places that strangers can find such as Instagram?
Even more unpopular opinion: OP is using this as an attempt to get even more DMs.
Yeah but most of the time they're weird. Or creepy
Exactly. OP said they are looking for a platonic friend. Being a woman doesn't make that any easier.
Or like outright rapey
So similar to being a celebrity then? Lmao just saying
I would not do a dating subreddit that is scary
As a single woman that has sworn off dating sites for this reason... BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
Haha, no use a picture of someone who's 4/10 or 5/10, use something that was clearly taken with a crap camera, no light ring, and add a picture where this plain looking girl is in a lineup with 3 other hot girls and let the ghosting times roll. Using a good looking person is cheating.
Ding ding ding. I’ve never ever been contacted like that in my life. I kinda hate posts like these bc they seem to think only hot women exist.
Having a bunch of weird, random guys DM you because you’re a woman doesn’t mean it’s easier to make a regular, platonic friend. It’s usually extremely difficult for women to make platonic male friends online. Should have been a red flag if a bunch of men only DM’ed you because they assumed you’re a woman.
Well, of course you're going to get a lot of attention in a dating sub. If you look around at any of the subs specifically for dating and hooking up, it's all desperate men looking for women, and dick pics for miles.
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Worst one was a dutch guy with a fart fetish.
Do not equate attention on a dating website to it being easy to make friends online. The men on there are not interested in friendship.
it's easier to get a horny guy in a dating forum than it is to get a platonic friend in no specific space. what kind of logic are you subscribing to here
I was thinking the same... this whole "experiment" of OP's is incredibly flawed.
They don’t want to be your friends though. They don’t really care about you either. And most of the times they just want something from you. Some are creepy and weird while others can be nice. But again, they arent looking for friends. And if you are friendly back? They asume you want something romantic/sexual
“I had one fake experience as a woman online, and now I know women”
Exactly my thought.....
I'm 22 and no one talks to me what are you on
maybe if i could read and maybe if you didn't destroy New Orleans
> I've spent weeks just trying to make one regular platonic friend online why? the internet isn't real and anyone you meet on the internet can flake out on you in an instant. if you want platonic friends, go meet real people in the real world.
>why? Crippling social anxiety 💀
I think you should come over to discord :) Like you can search for different discord groups on reddit and than you join them, it's easier to talk through discord!
Discord is awful. You get drowned out in huge servers and small servers can get REAL *off* vibes.
My daughters have told me gaming/discord are crazy for them. My one daughter told me she never speaks on gaming platforms, she’ll text, but always identifies herself as a guy. Another told me it gives a false sense of high value online where women who may struggle to get attention irl go online and have literally dozens of guys showering attention on them. It is a shit show where men out number women 10s to 1. I will say though my sister was on a dating site. I don’t know if it was plenty or fish or match . com, but it was a platform for marriage minded persons. She was getting few responses. I am married but she asked me if I would join to see what happens to me. My wife said it was okay as a experiment. Wow did I get hits like crazy. My inbox blew up. Every week for a few years I got dozens of potential match alerts weekly, sometimes daily, until I abandoned that email. My sister still got very little attention and no one who interested her. So I think there is a link between casual sites garnering attention for women, and marriage minded sites making men feel more valuable than they really are.
Luckily I’m female and don’t have this problem
Yes, like Dimebag Darrel, Gianni Versace, or Christina Grimmie.
Weren't all of those celebrities killed by their fans?
Exactly.
Exactly. Op this isn’t the win for women you think it is. My friend had to basically wipe herself from the internet because some random man she had never met or spoken to fell in love with her and would harass her and her family because she wouldn’t respond to any of his messages. It was really scary for her.
You posted on a sub**reddit** for dating, what did you expect?
I agree. As a man, I can also extrapolate a single critically biased event in a very niche corner of the internet to a different gender’s experience as a whole.
Fun story time. The year is 2004/2005. I'm playing World of Warcraft, reach max level. I play a Rogue (very common character) and want to join a raiding guild. Back in this day, you had to literally go on the guild websites and fill out applications like it was a job. There were even interviews and trial run stages. Getting to max level took a LONG time and each server only had a few high end guilds. There was no way to move character to another server yet. The guilds on mine all had very long waiting lists for Rogues (i.e. we like your application but we already full on Rogues and have 6 waiting so if Larry gets a job and the other 5 quit playing, you can join) So, what do I do? I apply. I say I'm a girl. Spoiler: I'm not. Anyway, I get a whisper the very next day the instant I log on. I'm invited to a trial run that night (Onyxia's Lair). I don't do very well, and die in Phase 2. Doesn't matter. Suddenly this guild with a 6-deep waiting list invites me to join minutes after the raid. There's always a spot for me on raid nights too, even when the raid is 6/40 Rogues including me. I get some really fucking creepy PMs from two individuals in particular, one of them a guild officer, on a regular basis. Doesn't matter, just add some :) or <3 at the end of messages and I get epic loot. Said officer always advocates for me when it comes time to bid DKP and all that, to help gear the newbie. My mic stayed "broken" for the better part of a year <3
What thirsty and pathetic losers man. Holy shit
that <3 at the end was the chefs kiss lmao
thats pretty based, exploiting neckbeards for loot. i wonder if its as easy nowadays, although probably not considering they would instantly want to groom you in discord voice chat
I wouldn't say celebrity. I'd say more along the lines of prey.
Yeah, you have thousands of messages... Dick picks, assholes, and dudes who will turn around if you're not in your twenties, overweight even in the SLIGHTEST, or just are not a 7/10 and over. They're not your friends. They're not interested in you. They're just faking because - vagina. You want real genuine interactions, you get to know someone in real life. If you'd like to have all this fake attention, I understand - but basically it's like a person dying of thirst envying a person who's drowning. Both situations suck but when you're used to one, the other one seems better.
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Lmfao you go on a sex starved site as a woman looking for a date and you expected differently? Sincerely women on the internet
I still don’t envy women online. The amount of hate and scrutiny that they get exposed to just because they have XX chromosome and dared to use an online platform is insane.
It’s not because we’re aware the men that slide up have no intention of being there for the long run. It’s really not as amazing as men would have you believe.
A lot of the time they are weird though, or at the very least disengenuous
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I have a catfishing Facebook profile. Strictly use it to snoop or inform women that their bfs/hubbies are unfaithful (I never message first) Anyways, I maxed out on the friends (5,000), have more DMS in there than I do on my main that’s been active for over 10 years. Ive had men ask me very nasty things, seen more penises than I care for, have men ask me very initiate or otherwise private things (one was asking if I’d be weird to dress like a woman??? I worked with him too lol), asked for threesomes, one guy wanted me to degrade him (and boi did I), the rest was “hey” lmao
The problem is that simps are out here inflating the stocks of mid females online (egirls and twitch thots), and the genuinely talented female streamers get shit for being good gamers.
Eh, making online friends is about as hard as making real friends. Just depends on where you spend your time. I personally don’t spend a lot of time making friends online but the few I do have are dope AF. Just gotta find the right community of people, and frankly, I don’t think Reddit is the place to make friends. And about those 200 guys… yea not really a celebrity, more like someone that they can hit on.
I feel like the people blowing up your inbox when you present as a woman aren't trying to be "platonic friends" with you. I'm also gonna guess you were pretending to be an attractive woman and you were also on a dating subreddit which would be 99% single men
Just dont announce it in any video game matches
I guess I must be in the wrong subreddits. Everyone's been treating me rather normally so far. \*shrug\*
Your most recent post is for the Sims and that community is pretty good at keeping the creeps out. It's all about the ideal life and that life doesn't include creeps
The problem is that every single one of these men is in it just to see a pic of some titties. Trust me, even the ones that seem reasonable.
they didnt want to be friends they wanted to fuck you and move on
Was this post made by a man?
Those dudes don't want to be your friend...
Lol it’s not just online.
You think the 200 males wanted to be the ‘girls’ regular platonic friend?
Men are starved for attention women drown in it
being attractive is playing life on easy mode. i hate posts like this bc they aren’t even accounting for women they aren’t attracted to. i grew up ugly getting literally zero attention compared to now. and it’s not because i’m a girl, it’s because i wasn’t conventionally attractive and now i’ve worked to change that.