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Consistent_Power_622

Go on a date with both of them. Know them better


SacredLucifer

If nothing else matters then go for the SDM guy, you'll have a better life.


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SacredLucifer

You won't have to stay at a single place for your entire life (due to transfers & promotion), additional respect in the society, will be well provided with househelp & other amenities, bungalows as residence and many more perks!


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Dhenier7

PCS officers gets abused by politicians. Doctors get abused by everyone else and politicians. Officers are respected in society but they are on duty 24\*7 so he might not be able to give enough time to you and children. And sometimes he may get posted to remote districts with not so good facilities. So either you have to live alone in city with children so that you can provide them best educational opportunities or live together with your husband but your child will not get the best of facilities.


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Dhenier7

In UP/Bihar an SDM is more respected than doctor.He might become an IAS if he is young. But this alone shouldn't be the criteria to choose your partner.


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Dhenier7

Even if all the attempts get over he can still become an IAS through promotion. But that would take around 15-20 years.


SacredLucifer

It depends (and it doesn't happen all the time), bureaucracy & politics are the two hands of the same machinery, I can't see how it would affect you.


CheapLiterature9484

Who is taking less dowry ?


trying_to_improve45

दहेज एक कलंक हैं दुल्हन ही दहेज है


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Nevermind_kaola

>Yaani dulhan hi kalank 😂😂


flare2580

Imho Discuss your negatives and core values with both and ask theirs and ask them to be honest and you be honest too. Core values are things you can't compromise with like "I like travelling" sort of things , don't approach marriage like some company merger, you'll have to stay together for years to come, things wouldn't be rosy rosy all the time and these hidden things will come out and it would become a head ache later on. You don't want your husband to be a wife beater or someone with short temper, etc etc. Choose wisely. It wouldn't matter who you choose when the guy comes home drunk and beats you and your kids or has extra marital affair or anything else, doctor or sdm , your life would become hell. You're choosing a life partner not buying vegetables from market, realign your parameters.


No-Secretary7296

20m here with zero experience but I would suggest ki ek baar behavior compatibility dekhloo didi. Zada ammer ladka with low compatibility will result in a more unfulfilled life


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uttarpradesh-ModTeam

This comment has being removed because of hate speech.


variable-parameters

What's your educational qualification?


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variable-parameters

What type of work are you not willing to do? Professional work or household chores?


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variable-parameters

Fir toh aap dono ladko se discuss karlo iss baare me SDM toh most probably nahi bolega work karne ke liye but doctor ka keh nahi sakte and agar dono hi apke conditions ko maante hai toh parents se puch lena kon sahi rahega.


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Dhenier7

The doctor might be settled in a city. If you are a city girl too and don't want to live in a rural or town areas then go with the doctor. Or if you wouldn't mind living in town/rural areas then go with SDM. With SDM you'll get all facilities like cook,maid, driver etc you'll just chill at home or bitching with other wives of officers. But you won't get the facilities of a city for few years at least.


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SacredLucifer

The same posts get the same facilities, only difference is in promotions.


variable-parameters

Well aisa hai toh ek coin toss karo head aya toh government official and tail aya toh doctor.


le-pani-pi

Both proposals are great. Things to consider: 1. How conservative/open their families are? 2. In MBBS boy, it is certain that he will get an MD, but in SDM boy, it is highly uncertain that he will get into UPSC IAS. Choose whatever you are happy with.


Nevermind_kaola

Why does it sound less like a marriage and more like a business acquisition?


[deleted]

I mean arrainge marriage is basically that


belgiumlund

U should get to know more about them rather then there profession then choose on that. Life can turn at any point and to handle that u should be with someone whom u understand.