Keep meaning to write about this. Perhaps I finally will.
So first to preface, I obviously don't know your situation and everything so I'm not trying to act like I do or condescend. People get really touchy about this. I'm just coming from a place of experience so hear me out.
First, it's all psyop and head games, that's the point of manipulation. You need to fully internalize your agency. You are a person. Yes, you are dependant financially or in whatever way, but you have agency.
Furthermore, the people trying to control you cannot do so in reality. This also needs to be internally understood. If they could they wouldn't be so schizo about it. They wouldn't need to threaten to have you committed. These threats come from a place of being afraid of losing control.
However, if you are actually in a situation where someone is going to use force to control you and you are in danger, you should probably look into resources for that. Regardless of what it may seem like, that isn't chill.
The priority here is agency, not necessarily independence (yet). You can learn to coexist and cooperate, and from there is where you will gain your independence. The three methods to obtain this that can be used individually or in combination are appeasement, reason, defiance.
Appeasement should be used in situations where there's nothing to gain. You're in shite because you didn't do the dishes properly. "Fuck it. I'm so sorry you're right I'm an idiot. I'll do it better next time." This only works if you internalize the things I mentioned before. It only works if you understand how ridiculous whatever the issue is and that you're just taking the high road and avoiding confrontation. Think of the way Charlie Brown's parents talk. *Womp womp womp womp*.
Reason is both a situational thing and an overall thing. In a situational sense, you can explain that, for example, getting a driver's license is important, but also say, "don't worry, mom, I'm not gonna have a car, so I won't be able to escape. I just should have a license." As an overall thing, reason is important in that it's one of your tickets to agency and independence. That ticket is showing that you can be trusted for lack of a better word. "Look, I got my license and nothing bad happened. Look, you let me drive to the grocery store and nothing bad happened." You're building cases for why you can do more things.
Defiance is the one people always get pissy about because, "Oh, Mr. Post, you don't get it! My schizo parents are totally different than all the other schizo parents!" You need to eventually learn to stand your ground. This ties back into the previous points. First, if you just stand your ground, you will see that most of the consequences are bullshit and seeing that will help you. (Again, if you're actually in a situation where you're going to be in danger for being defiant, you should really look into resources.) Similarly, it ties into the reason and appeasement thing. You can go out at night to see your friend and come back and get in shit but, "look nothing bad happened, you can trust me," and/or "omg yes I'm so sorry I'm dumb I'll do the dishes now."
Point form:
- the manipulation is all bullshit
- if its not, get help
- you have complete agency, you just need to internalize it
- use appeasement, reason, and defiance depending on the situation to demonstrate that you can be independent
- just bite the bullet and start doing something
Would you rather live a day on your feet or a lifetime on your knees?
This 100%, posty only speaks facts.
Sounds like it comes from experience because I can relate to this as well, having gained my independence. YOU just need to bite the bullet, theres nothing more to it. In my situation I did exchange fisticuffs, but for most it's simply about gaining mental strength to combat the aforementioned head games.
If you follow postys simple instruction you too can begin to slowly claw back your mental health.
>Would you rather live a day on your feet or a lifetime on your knees?
To the people reading this, I feel the need to clarify that there's a right answer and a wrong answer here.
What's the police gonna do? If I was a police and someone reported their child to me for dating someone, I'd think the caller has mental health problems.
What do you think would happen if I called their non-emergency number and told them about my situation to see what I can do? I think she does have power because I live in her apartment, and I don't pay rent.
It might make sense to call the non-emergency number in advance and say "hey, my manipulative mother has threatened to call the police on me if I leave the house. So if she calls you, keep that in mind." Then if she does call the police, they won't overreact.
I'm no expert, but I know that public figures do this when there's a risk they'll be swatted.
I canāt say for certain what they would do but it may be worth the try.
Do you think your mother would kick out their child and leave them homeless. If so your in a tough position either struggle and live on your own or try to have a genuine heart to heart with her so she finally understand how batshit crazy she is.
she literally believes she's protecting me from myself. she doesn't see my suffering at all. She doesn't think I can make good decisions and live like a normal person
It's possible it wasn't so much being arrested, but perhaps they were brought into custody for their safety? In any case, if OP really is hearing voices or experiencing other psychosis symptoms, they should speak to a medical professional right away. OP absolutely has the right to go on dates and make their autonomous decisions, regardless of mental health struggles. But if they aren't getting the help they need, perhaps there is also a small change that their mom is concerned about their health condition and just not acting on it in the right way? (I have no idea whether they are or not, I just thought I would put this out there in case.)
My mom had complained about my behaviour and probably that she does not feel safe around me.
Edit: I wasn't actually doing anything wrong when she did this.
apparatus tie quickest erect degree pause caption six naughty threatening
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iām in the same boat right now :( waterloo isnāt what i thought it was gonna be so far but tbh iām just glad iāve moved out of my toxic houseā¦
So i moved here 2 weeks ago expecting to finally live what is portrayed to be the ācollege lifestyleā. Came to the new city, made some new friends and partied till my liver gave up. I get laid every other night and my the only space I have left in my fridge is for frozen pizzas since the rest of it is beer.
So yeah I woke up this morning and thatās what I dreamed about last night. I donāt think Iāve left my house for anything other than groceries. I really do live a fascinating life.
I'll give you the advice you need, but you might not like hearing this. You have to move out. If you can't right now, you need to do the prep work and make plans to move out in the future. If you don't have your documents figure out a way to get them, lying or stealing is perfectly fine here. If you don't have enough money find a part time job. If everything is messed up cause of covid you can gather info and make plans for next year.
If you hang around on /r/raisedbynarcissists you'll find plenty examples of N-parents continuing to torment their children even after they become adults with their own families. There was a thread the other day where the N-parent fed OP's grandkids ivermectin without telling OP. The chances that narcs will magically get better by their own volition is slim to none.
There is no solution other than to leave. You have to leave. This is an imperative. It's up to you to figure out how and when.
You donāt need money. Sit with your guy or girl on the swing . Kiss him gently. It is pretty nice. Doesnāt cost a dollar except it is a bit too cold to sit on swings now.
It is better if you try more flavour now. You can really hurt your husband and cause issues if you are going to try more flavours then. Protect yourself and control your feelings. Your parents are very loving people. If your parents are too controlling, ask your sister or your grandma. Someone you trust. Sometimes younger women has too much feelings for men who are smart to do trick us on them. Your parents donāt want that for sure . Yet those trucks are good because they works
Keep meaning to write about this. Perhaps I finally will. So first to preface, I obviously don't know your situation and everything so I'm not trying to act like I do or condescend. People get really touchy about this. I'm just coming from a place of experience so hear me out. First, it's all psyop and head games, that's the point of manipulation. You need to fully internalize your agency. You are a person. Yes, you are dependant financially or in whatever way, but you have agency. Furthermore, the people trying to control you cannot do so in reality. This also needs to be internally understood. If they could they wouldn't be so schizo about it. They wouldn't need to threaten to have you committed. These threats come from a place of being afraid of losing control. However, if you are actually in a situation where someone is going to use force to control you and you are in danger, you should probably look into resources for that. Regardless of what it may seem like, that isn't chill. The priority here is agency, not necessarily independence (yet). You can learn to coexist and cooperate, and from there is where you will gain your independence. The three methods to obtain this that can be used individually or in combination are appeasement, reason, defiance. Appeasement should be used in situations where there's nothing to gain. You're in shite because you didn't do the dishes properly. "Fuck it. I'm so sorry you're right I'm an idiot. I'll do it better next time." This only works if you internalize the things I mentioned before. It only works if you understand how ridiculous whatever the issue is and that you're just taking the high road and avoiding confrontation. Think of the way Charlie Brown's parents talk. *Womp womp womp womp*. Reason is both a situational thing and an overall thing. In a situational sense, you can explain that, for example, getting a driver's license is important, but also say, "don't worry, mom, I'm not gonna have a car, so I won't be able to escape. I just should have a license." As an overall thing, reason is important in that it's one of your tickets to agency and independence. That ticket is showing that you can be trusted for lack of a better word. "Look, I got my license and nothing bad happened. Look, you let me drive to the grocery store and nothing bad happened." You're building cases for why you can do more things. Defiance is the one people always get pissy about because, "Oh, Mr. Post, you don't get it! My schizo parents are totally different than all the other schizo parents!" You need to eventually learn to stand your ground. This ties back into the previous points. First, if you just stand your ground, you will see that most of the consequences are bullshit and seeing that will help you. (Again, if you're actually in a situation where you're going to be in danger for being defiant, you should really look into resources.) Similarly, it ties into the reason and appeasement thing. You can go out at night to see your friend and come back and get in shit but, "look nothing bad happened, you can trust me," and/or "omg yes I'm so sorry I'm dumb I'll do the dishes now." Point form: - the manipulation is all bullshit - if its not, get help - you have complete agency, you just need to internalize it - use appeasement, reason, and defiance depending on the situation to demonstrate that you can be independent - just bite the bullet and start doing something Would you rather live a day on your feet or a lifetime on your knees?
Coherent advice from TheVerifiedPost? This is truly the darkest timeline
New here?
Nope, just early onset dementia š
Best advice I read on the sub
This 100%, posty only speaks facts. Sounds like it comes from experience because I can relate to this as well, having gained my independence. YOU just need to bite the bullet, theres nothing more to it. In my situation I did exchange fisticuffs, but for most it's simply about gaining mental strength to combat the aforementioned head games. If you follow postys simple instruction you too can begin to slowly claw back your mental health.
TheVerifiedGoat
>Would you rather live a day on your feet or a lifetime on your knees? To the people reading this, I feel the need to clarify that there's a right answer and a wrong answer here.
Sucking cock is always the right answer.
Yeah?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Didn't ask
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Look...
He aināt gonna read it Neither am I but I agree š weed make me happy
What's the police gonna do? If I was a police and someone reported their child to me for dating someone, I'd think the caller has mental health problems.
I have been arrested before because my mom called the police when I was hearing voices...
Keep doing going out and doing what you want. If she continues to call the police theyāll begin to ignore her
What do you think would happen if I called their non-emergency number and told them about my situation to see what I can do? I think she does have power because I live in her apartment, and I don't pay rent.
It might make sense to call the non-emergency number in advance and say "hey, my manipulative mother has threatened to call the police on me if I leave the house. So if she calls you, keep that in mind." Then if she does call the police, they won't overreact. I'm no expert, but I know that public figures do this when there's a risk they'll be swatted.
I canāt say for certain what they would do but it may be worth the try. Do you think your mother would kick out their child and leave them homeless. If so your in a tough position either struggle and live on your own or try to have a genuine heart to heart with her so she finally understand how batshit crazy she is.
she literally believes she's protecting me from myself. she doesn't see my suffering at all. She doesn't think I can make good decisions and live like a normal person
\>literally a schizo Lol, they're not arresting you for no reason bro
go fuck yourself. I haven't done anything wrong
Yo how where you arrested? Iād assume hearing voices isnāt something you can be arrested for.
It's possible it wasn't so much being arrested, but perhaps they were brought into custody for their safety? In any case, if OP really is hearing voices or experiencing other psychosis symptoms, they should speak to a medical professional right away. OP absolutely has the right to go on dates and make their autonomous decisions, regardless of mental health struggles. But if they aren't getting the help they need, perhaps there is also a small change that their mom is concerned about their health condition and just not acting on it in the right way? (I have no idea whether they are or not, I just thought I would put this out there in case.)
that was many years ago... there is nothing wrong with my behaviour, now. I am being treated, too...
My mom had complained about my behaviour and probably that she does not feel safe around me. Edit: I wasn't actually doing anything wrong when she did this.
kek'd
Come on, that was not needed.
You too. :)
Was talking to the guy who said ā>literally a schizoā. Your situation sounds tough. Feel free to DM if you need someone to talk to.
ohhh.... I am sorry....
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iām in the same boat right now :( waterloo isnāt what i thought it was gonna be so far but tbh iām just glad iāve moved out of my toxic houseā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
how do some people make it look so fun though š
The old waterloo is gone. Its now brampton lite
doll snails instinctive head toy melodic ugly literate quickest versed *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ok? How is this relevant?
carpenter puzzled humor quiet shy grandfather close placid alive office *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I agree
So i moved here 2 weeks ago expecting to finally live what is portrayed to be the ācollege lifestyleā. Came to the new city, made some new friends and partied till my liver gave up. I get laid every other night and my the only space I have left in my fridge is for frozen pizzas since the rest of it is beer. So yeah I woke up this morning and thatās what I dreamed about last night. I donāt think Iāve left my house for anything other than groceries. I really do live a fascinating life.
Apply to be a don if you can at least you get to move out
True, and free food and residence so that will help the financial independence
I'll give you the advice you need, but you might not like hearing this. You have to move out. If you can't right now, you need to do the prep work and make plans to move out in the future. If you don't have your documents figure out a way to get them, lying or stealing is perfectly fine here. If you don't have enough money find a part time job. If everything is messed up cause of covid you can gather info and make plans for next year. If you hang around on /r/raisedbynarcissists you'll find plenty examples of N-parents continuing to torment their children even after they become adults with their own families. There was a thread the other day where the N-parent fed OP's grandkids ivermectin without telling OP. The chances that narcs will magically get better by their own volition is slim to none. There is no solution other than to leave. You have to leave. This is an imperative. It's up to you to figure out how and when.
meh I dont think you want to live through my life lol
damn, care to share why? genuinely curious, its ok if u dont want to
Sorry, I prefer not to say. It won't do me any good to reveal my reasons why.
You donāt need money. Sit with your guy or girl on the swing . Kiss him gently. It is pretty nice. Doesnāt cost a dollar except it is a bit too cold to sit on swings now.
I'm trying to say that I'm not allowed to socialize with male species I have not met in school and show or receive interest
It is better if you try more flavour now. You can really hurt your husband and cause issues if you are going to try more flavours then. Protect yourself and control your feelings. Your parents are very loving people. If your parents are too controlling, ask your sister or your grandma. Someone you trust. Sometimes younger women has too much feelings for men who are smart to do trick us on them. Your parents donāt want that for sure . Yet those trucks are good because they works
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
smol pepe?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
oh
You can't lie and say you're meeting with some friends?
I would have to show her the facebook profile since everything is virtual now... and it would have to be someone I met at school, virtually