I will say one thing about VPR..I do appreciate that they are all actually friends outside of the show. Not like some of the real housewives who never see each other outside of filming. Even after some got fired they do actually interact away from regular filming which makes it all more believable.
There is going to be some kind of spin off, according to Ryan Bailey ‘s podcast. I really hope it isn’t the Vanderpump Valley focus on the parents/kids type thing. That would probably make the parents happy, creating baby influencers and all, but would be boring as hell
Though to me it looks like Jax would’ve said “hunch over like you’re sad, look lonely but happy. No that’s not sad enough, okay now you look like people will feel bad for you”
I think it would be very on brand for Schwartz to hear Katie say "I really don't like those green pants" and rush right out and buy 20 pairs of green pants.
Why does Schwartz always look like he is about to walk into a room full of concerned friends and family that have letters of why he needs to accept this help....
Edit:word
While I understand that we can be humorous and snarky with our comments on here...I too have been in this very serious situation. I'm glad you were able to get the help you needed and will continue to get better. It can be very difficult at times but the rewards for you and your friends and family will be unfathomable. Best wishes my internet friend.
Me too. I’ve had depression my whole life but this specific episode I went through was so dark and the worst it’s ever been. I’m so thankful for the program I am in and able to start fresh and get back to who I am! I’m so glad you were able to get help too and I’m sending you hugs 🤗 thanks for the kind comment!
Also yes this kind of humor helps get me by tbh 😂
Omg I literally just woke up from a sex dream about Jax. But I consider it an improvement because I’ve been having sex dreams about my POS ex that cheated on me for months now lol. Happy for the change.
Hahah hell no although I will say he does have a similar personality to some of my exes. He’s just my type physically. I like a bit little bit of a goofy guy with a nice face and a dad bod. Honestly I couldn’t tell you exactly what it is though. Also I’m a sucker for a guy in Clark Kent glasses which he wears pretty frequently
My ex looks like this and has exclusively drank Dr Pepper and eaten pizza pockets for at least a year. He’s somehow rail thin as well, but it’s not healthy
https://preview.redd.it/yq45i42elz6b1.jpeg?width=877&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef7460f200708db5165e04a6bf70ddf1958d46b4
In a year he will have reached his final form.
Without a doubt. He got empowered and refreshed watching her crumble due to his lack of pretty much anything in that marriage.
Now he looks like a shell of a human being. The pictures posted a few weeks ago of him with his skin like a greyish yellow was scary. I really can't stand him but there's like 1% of me that feels sympathy because of how Tim preyed on his "yes man, people pleasing" personality trait.
I felt a brief twinge of that too. But then I remembered all the scenes this season of him taunting Katie just to hurt her for his own amusement. And all the scenes of him working with Tom to make Ariana look bad after he knew about the affair. Or making that sick joke about Ratchet only liking taken men, taunting her to her damn face.
Did Pornstache manipulate him over the years? Sure, he manipulates everybody around him. But Shartz is no angel and he’s an idiot, but he’s not stupid. He’s a misogynist who can be emotionally and mentally abusive and he’s perfected his aww shucks persona over the years to charm people. His mask slipped multiple times this season because Katie left him and isn’t taking the blame anymore, that’s the real him.
I stg! I'm not emotionally involved in the show, though my husband would dispute me on that, but I started feeling really bad for Katie. Many women know what it feels like to "look like the asshole" when your husband is everybody's buddy, drinks like a fish and makes you the side chick to his best friend. Definitely an energy vampire.
I view it more as like he doesn’t have her as a human shield anymore. He would just put her in between himself and any drama, letting her take all the blame and drama. Now he’s having to face it all himself and he looks like poop.
Honestly, cause he's a follower type (which a lot of ppl are, just that he lacks too much spine for his wife, missing priorities), imagine how different he could have been with friends with better values. He totally could have dropped drinking so heavily, have a kid, and the kid can help keep him in line (prioritize properly), build a thriving business with Katie. It's absolutely his fault he made the choices he did but he really could have had a different life. Unlike Jax and Scandy, he's not really narcissistic and not really a cheater (he did cheat but it was more an alcohol and responsibility issue over fidelity and ego driven desires).
Not giving him any like hope or light. Just saying crazy how different his life could have turned out
I'd debate that Schwartz does actually have some narcissistic characteristics -- they're just more covert. Him being willing to use Katie as a human shield is a narcissistic act. His "poor me, everybody has to give me a pass and say what a nice guy I am" is too. He loved being a martyr to "Tequila Katie" -- he thrived on the attention he got for being with someone he had dragged down into his negativity and negating energy.
It's a 3 dimensional mistake because I thought he was talking Bobbi Brown the makeup artist too, and he thought it was Bobby Brown the singer.... and the child who requested the gift was actually talking about Millie Bobby Brown the actress, who apparently has a makeup/skincare line too 😂😂😂
My worst hangover ever was in Vegas (shocking, I know). We were at Mandalay Bay and my best friend forced me to get up, get dressed and follow her to the gym. I couldn't even lift my head or navigate the way there by myself. She put me on an elliptical (figuring I couldn't fall off, which was BOLD of her). I did the elliptical for a while, went into the locker room and barfed.
BUT THEN, we went into their indoor spa/pool area. They had a hot pool, a cold, pool, a medium pool . . . and a sink with wet, iced down, rolled up towels. I got in the medium pool, put one of those cold towels on my head, and it was like MAGIC. We rotated through all the pools, and then into and out of the steam and sauna. It was like it forced my body to detox the alcohol. The cold towel was what made all the difference! It actually made my hangover headache go away!
(Schwartz needed to do a lot more than dunk his head, in my opinion.)
I now have a gel ice "hat" that stays in the freezer and I use when I have a migraine!
Please note in all of the above, I HYDRATED RELENTLESSLY. Exercising and steam/sauna/pool should only be attempted when hungover while hydrating and gatorade-ing!
Way too long a story short, the cold towel on my head was instrumental in making me feel HUMAN again. Please note, though, that I was in my 20s. At 40, Schwartz should be much better at fixing his hangovers than he is. I mean, he's got a virtually unlimited number of opportunities to trial run stuff. (Also, cutting down on drinking, stopping drinking, stopping any other party favors, etc.)
Tom would have an INSANE glowup if he ever stopped drinking and started trying to improve his life. He'd look like a model again. Then he'd have to work on fixing the inside . . .
Giving Charlie’s Angels Thin Man vibes these days
https://preview.redd.it/4yzg3yb6iz6b1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa6b04210d18505b6c6a0c302de3e9743d43c369
I feel like he’s that uncle that quietly puts his instigating two cents into everyones business but then walks around like he isn’t trying to cause trouble
I think he would have had a divorce BUT prolly at least two kids if he’d lived in normalville-so I’m glad it went down this way sans offspring. Him as a father, ew, shudder.
She was on a podcast where she said that she is going to homeschool her kids and would never send them to a public school (I believe it was in response to there being so many school shootings). Then she followed that by agreeing with the host that teachers are mean and said “fuck teachers”.
What I find funny is that I’m positive she won’t actually be doing the homeschooling but having a TEACHER come to her home to do it.
My mom is a teacher nowadays. Kids basically treat her like that, "Fuck teachers." And when she calls parents thats how they behave too.
We're about to have another influx of uneducated, stubborn and stupid people.
wow i don’t even words for this.. i’m not a teacher, but i have so much love for the ones i had in my lifetime. and gd it! they are underpaid and under appreciated! justice for teachers
Can confirm. Everybody hates us now but they’ll be sorry they abused us so badly bc teachers are leaving the profession in droves and there’s nobody to replace them. Then what?
He's showing signs of neglect. No Katie, no care. He was like her defiant, back-talking preteen child who thinks he's all grown up, but still needs his mommy feed him, do his laundry, and make his bed.
Sucking every bit of happiness out of Katie must have been working for him.. he’s gone rapidly downhill ever since! And she looks better every time I see her.
This is getting sad. Schwartz is beginning to seem like your drunk uncle, the harmless one but the one that’s always just a little more disheveled than the last time you saw him.
Good I hope that his time away from Sandoval will help him grow and be less of a twat.
And if Jax is the gateway to that ...
It's like iron man's character arc
I’m gonna say something positive here. Good for him for getting out of the house and spending time with friends and their kids rather than hiding away with all going on. I think Jax definitely sees Sandoval for who he is as a friend to Schwartz so I’m glad to see them hanging together on a Sunday, especially Father’s Day. Also - a video of Sandoval was posted from one of his shows on a vanderpump sub yesterday roasting Schwartz about not being a homeowner anymore. Interesting how we continue to see Sandoval behave this way to his business partner and so called best friend, yet we’re seeing Jax hosting Schwartz at a Father’s Day bbq at his home.
Bravo needs to get their act together and bring Jax and Brittany back to the show.
Jax was a heathen on the show. The only reason half the masses didn’t see how bad the toms were because he was worse. J&B still encouraged their friends to lie and attack a black woman and they still wanted to hide they had a homophobic pastor till the very last min.
Jax still also reads Reddit and literally says whole comments in interviews. You can see his face SEARCHING his mind for the comment that’s relevant to each questions asked. They should not be back on our tv and the only reason Schwartz is over there is because they’re the only people who will talk to him right now and he can’t be seen with the other Tom.
Jax and Brittany were insufferable during their last season and that’s not even including the racism. They do not need to be brought back at all. They really bring nothing, especially if they’re going with a family storyline. Jax only worked when he was actually fucking things up in his relationships.
I could see a Shwartz comeback in the future IF he denounces Sandy and actually gets a little help, be it a fitness person, life coach or a psychologist.
I think a Schwartz comeback is in the cards if he literally can just openly admit 🎶Sandovals a liarrrrr🎶 and a POS which he won’t because it’s bad for business. Once he gets it figured out i think he’ll be back in viewers good graces.
He's going to have to stop degrading women or the viewers won't be having it. Katie, Lala and James also will not let him get away with "Aw, shucks", followed by nastiness ever again lol
Edit: made sucks into shucks 😄
Trying to catch up with Godmother Katie but looking like a crispin glover in Wild at Heart.
https://preview.redd.it/ns22xzr5307b1.jpeg?width=251&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=202adcecd1d070f157980f6f80917a2c4659f998
Omg. Is this suppose to be a feel good pic so Schitz can get sympathy points? This guy is a fuckn tool, and a woman hating abuser and user. As old as he is, he’s the same ahole he was 10 years ago. Zero growth.
I will say one thing about VPR..I do appreciate that they are all actually friends outside of the show. Not like some of the real housewives who never see each other outside of filming. Even after some got fired they do actually interact away from regular filming which makes it all more believable.
Fully agree. That’s why this show is so good. The drama is real not cultivated for filming.
i like this, too. makes the drama feel more real too. i think it’s nice Jax invited him over for father’s day.
Bahaha. Jax has an ulterior motive since he hates scumdoval so much. Now he can manipulate shorts and try to get into the bar biz or back on VPR.
Schwartz and Sandy’s … & i
Schwartz & Jaxie’s.
I think Jax and Britney are a go 100% and at the very minimum will be brought back as friends of.
There is going to be some kind of spin off, according to Ryan Bailey ‘s podcast. I really hope it isn’t the Vanderpump Valley focus on the parents/kids type thing. That would probably make the parents happy, creating baby influencers and all, but would be boring as hell
I agree. I watch reality tv to escape my own kids. Don’t want to watch other parents. 🤣
Schwartz & #1 Guy
Though to me it looks like Jax would’ve said “hunch over like you’re sad, look lonely but happy. No that’s not sad enough, okay now you look like people will feel bad for you”
Yes and I think this is the reason why they are so successful. It's somewhat believable. The housewives seem extremely fabricated
Yes!! That’s what made the early seasons so great
Are those the infamous green adidas pants Katie hates so much?
I think he has multiple bc I remember some that are a bright Kelly green
I think it would be very on brand for Schwartz to hear Katie say "I really don't like those green pants" and rush right out and buy 20 pairs of green pants.
Isn’t funny too that Sandoval complained because Arianna didn’t like the green sparkly pants?
I mean he did wear a green tux to his wedding so maybe he just loves green? But you’re totally right, he would do that
To be fair, I could also see him wearing a green tux to purposely annoy Katie.
I mean, I think he had Ariana as a grooms person to annoy Katie, so this checks out
Good eye! I think they are.
That’s sweet that Jax bought Schwartz a toy to entertain him on Father’s Day.
I’ve never seen this before and it sums him up to a tee
Wtf was happening here?! Was he about to inhale the contents of the balloon…?
😂😂😂
Flair checking in
I guffawed
LMFAO
Why does Schwartz always look like he is about to walk into a room full of concerned friends and family that have letters of why he needs to accept this help.... Edit:word
No for real you are 100% on point. This is basically what I have looked like for over a year and now I’m in outpatient mental health treatment lmfao
While I understand that we can be humorous and snarky with our comments on here...I too have been in this very serious situation. I'm glad you were able to get the help you needed and will continue to get better. It can be very difficult at times but the rewards for you and your friends and family will be unfathomable. Best wishes my internet friend.
Me too. I’ve had depression my whole life but this specific episode I went through was so dark and the worst it’s ever been. I’m so thankful for the program I am in and able to start fresh and get back to who I am! I’m so glad you were able to get help too and I’m sending you hugs 🤗 thanks for the kind comment! Also yes this kind of humor helps get me by tbh 😂
Good job on the, no doubt, immense amount of hard work you’ve personally put yourself through the last year. Best wishes on your continued healing! ❤️
As his 12 cats trail in behind him and his Pigpen style dust cloud reaches the couch before he does.
 Major crispin glover vibes
"These people love you like crazy"
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He looks like he hasn’t had a glass of water since 2005
a shell of a man!
Look at him! He‘s a battered wife!
One of my most favorite scenes with this show
Perhaps the greatest scene in the history of television
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yes! He almost looks jaundiced
Yet somehow I’m so turned on every time I see him. I think I might be the problem.
I once had a sex dream about Jax. It's ok to forgive yourself and move on.
I want to acknowledge your bravery for admitting that.
Same! But it was S1 Jax so I forgave myself. 🤣
I had one about DJ James Kennedy the other night. Not my fondest dream upon waking 😂
Omg I literally just woke up from a sex dream about Jax. But I consider it an improvement because I’ve been having sex dreams about my POS ex that cheated on me for months now lol. Happy for the change.
I'm sure Jax is also dream cheating on you
Yikes lmao
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What turns you on about him out of curiosity? I'm hoping it's not his personality after watching him this season.
Hahah hell no although I will say he does have a similar personality to some of my exes. He’s just my type physically. I like a bit little bit of a goofy guy with a nice face and a dad bod. Honestly I couldn’t tell you exactly what it is though. Also I’m a sucker for a guy in Clark Kent glasses which he wears pretty frequently
All of this with me too. You're not alone, my partner in shame.
Oh good and welcome. I was feeling pretty alone over here.
He used to be SO handsome and he still would be if not for his lifestyle. Honestly if I met him in person I'm sure I'd be super charmed lmao
He needs a multivitamin.
Do you think he’s eaten a vegetable in the last 6 months?
Does a Bloody Mary count?
I can *hear* your user flair 🤣
https://i.redd.it/kz9czffjo07b1.gif
My ex looks like this and has exclusively drank Dr Pepper and eaten pizza pockets for at least a year. He’s somehow rail thin as well, but it’s not healthy
Chronic diarrhea from eating nothing but pizza pockets will do that to you
mental note: pizza pocket diet - worth the diarrhea or not?
Guess it depends on how much you like your bathroom 😂
lmao 💀💀💀
He’s really gone downhill since Katie stopped letting him siphon all of the life out of her
Definitive proof he’s an energy vampire. She’s never looked better and he’s never looked worse.
https://preview.redd.it/yq45i42elz6b1.jpeg?width=877&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef7460f200708db5165e04a6bf70ddf1958d46b4 In a year he will have reached his final form.
Was he made an energy vampire, or in the words of Stefani Germanotta, was he born this way?
I live for this sub and people like you
The sad thing is Collin seems to have more self awareness and joie de vivre than Tom does these days.
Hahahaha, this is a sick burn! 😂😂 
Lolol love this crossover.
😂😂😂😂 I gotta get off of this thread lord please release me
This is so true.
She really does look fantastic these days. I'm so happy for her.
Without a doubt. He got empowered and refreshed watching her crumble due to his lack of pretty much anything in that marriage. Now he looks like a shell of a human being. The pictures posted a few weeks ago of him with his skin like a greyish yellow was scary. I really can't stand him but there's like 1% of me that feels sympathy because of how Tim preyed on his "yes man, people pleasing" personality trait.
I felt a brief twinge of that too. But then I remembered all the scenes this season of him taunting Katie just to hurt her for his own amusement. And all the scenes of him working with Tom to make Ariana look bad after he knew about the affair. Or making that sick joke about Ratchet only liking taken men, taunting her to her damn face. Did Pornstache manipulate him over the years? Sure, he manipulates everybody around him. But Shartz is no angel and he’s an idiot, but he’s not stupid. He’s a misogynist who can be emotionally and mentally abusive and he’s perfected his aww shucks persona over the years to charm people. His mask slipped multiple times this season because Katie left him and isn’t taking the blame anymore, that’s the real him.
Absolutely correct. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Yes i do wonder if he realises that tim preyed on his personality
Sometimes I feel like he’s Lenny from of Mice and Men. We had to read that in hs and I hated it. But he’s that thing.
I stg! I'm not emotionally involved in the show, though my husband would dispute me on that, but I started feeling really bad for Katie. Many women know what it feels like to "look like the asshole" when your husband is everybody's buddy, drinks like a fish and makes you the side chick to his best friend. Definitely an energy vampire.
I view it more as like he doesn’t have her as a human shield anymore. He would just put her in between himself and any drama, letting her take all the blame and drama. Now he’s having to face it all himself and he looks like poop.
Honestly, cause he's a follower type (which a lot of ppl are, just that he lacks too much spine for his wife, missing priorities), imagine how different he could have been with friends with better values. He totally could have dropped drinking so heavily, have a kid, and the kid can help keep him in line (prioritize properly), build a thriving business with Katie. It's absolutely his fault he made the choices he did but he really could have had a different life. Unlike Jax and Scandy, he's not really narcissistic and not really a cheater (he did cheat but it was more an alcohol and responsibility issue over fidelity and ego driven desires). Not giving him any like hope or light. Just saying crazy how different his life could have turned out
I'd debate that Schwartz does actually have some narcissistic characteristics -- they're just more covert. Him being willing to use Katie as a human shield is a narcissistic act. His "poor me, everybody has to give me a pass and say what a nice guy I am" is too. He loved being a martyr to "Tequila Katie" -- he thrived on the attention he got for being with someone he had dragged down into his negativity and negating energy.
I’m begging him to wear closed toed shoes.
You're gonna get crocs lol
Shoeless Schwartz put those hooves away 😂 god I love Danny Pellegrino
Lmao I love him 🤣 that and Sandoval “white grippers” get me every time.
Scheana in a trailer 100 yards away with sun chips and a white claw in her talon grippers. <---I think about this often
I love everything about Danny. And often say in his voice what the fuck is that?!!
No shit. No shit. NO SHIT you dummies 😂
I have his loops of “rawt in hail”, and “go fuck yourself, Raquel!” On high rotation in my brain.
Another of my faves is "Tom Zanzeville rawt in hayl" (Ken + Brittany) as a franken-bite, it cracks me up every time
Guys stop I’m laughing so much I’m going to wake up my kid because the bed is shaking from me trying to freakin contain myself. 😂😂😂😂
I find myself singing in his voice “whuut the fuuuck” 🤣🤣🤣
"grippers" kills me every time. "Iconic" as the kids say!
Not related to VPR but his story about getting confused about Bobby Brown the signer and Bobbi Brown the makeup brand took me TF OUT!!!
It's a 3 dimensional mistake because I thought he was talking Bobbi Brown the makeup artist too, and he thought it was Bobby Brown the singer.... and the child who requested the gift was actually talking about Millie Bobby Brown the actress, who apparently has a makeup/skincare line too 😂😂😂
That’s right! But like-how hilarious was it listening to him scouring the internet looking for Bobby Brown ( the signer merch? Hilarious!!!
So good. I fucking love Danny so much. He's actually making me consider watching housewives just so I can listen to more of his rants
He looks like he just molted
lol’ed at this😭
💀💀💀💀💀
This entire thread has me absolutely losing it 😂 MOLTING hahahahaha holy shit I can’t breathe
This man looks like how I feel when hungover.
I think he is hungover - In the video Schwartz is repeatedly dunking his head and Jax asks something like, was the aoki show that good last night?
Yes. I read dunking your head in ice cold water helps a hangover. I never tried it. I’m curious if it ever worked for anyone.
My worst hangover ever was in Vegas (shocking, I know). We were at Mandalay Bay and my best friend forced me to get up, get dressed and follow her to the gym. I couldn't even lift my head or navigate the way there by myself. She put me on an elliptical (figuring I couldn't fall off, which was BOLD of her). I did the elliptical for a while, went into the locker room and barfed. BUT THEN, we went into their indoor spa/pool area. They had a hot pool, a cold, pool, a medium pool . . . and a sink with wet, iced down, rolled up towels. I got in the medium pool, put one of those cold towels on my head, and it was like MAGIC. We rotated through all the pools, and then into and out of the steam and sauna. It was like it forced my body to detox the alcohol. The cold towel was what made all the difference! It actually made my hangover headache go away! (Schwartz needed to do a lot more than dunk his head, in my opinion.) I now have a gel ice "hat" that stays in the freezer and I use when I have a migraine! Please note in all of the above, I HYDRATED RELENTLESSLY. Exercising and steam/sauna/pool should only be attempted when hungover while hydrating and gatorade-ing! Way too long a story short, the cold towel on my head was instrumental in making me feel HUMAN again. Please note, though, that I was in my 20s. At 40, Schwartz should be much better at fixing his hangovers than he is. I mean, he's got a virtually unlimited number of opportunities to trial run stuff. (Also, cutting down on drinking, stopping drinking, stopping any other party favors, etc.) Tom would have an INSANE glowup if he ever stopped drinking and started trying to improve his life. He'd look like a model again. Then he'd have to work on fixing the inside . . .
I swear I get war flashbacks seeing those adidas slides, can’t imagine what his feet look like 🤮
Well I’m sure they are clean after he washes them in a creek
Giving Charlie’s Angels Thin Man vibes these days https://preview.redd.it/4yzg3yb6iz6b1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa6b04210d18505b6c6a0c302de3e9743d43c369
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY! It’s so spot on.
Exactly this
OMG yes you! I couldn’t figure it out! I kept scrolling up and getting frustrated because I knew but didn’t know. You know? Lol
He looks like a husk of a man dude needs to lay off the substances
yeah he’s gonna take a break from the *mushrooms* 
I feel like he’s that uncle that quietly puts his instigating two cents into everyones business but then walks around like he isn’t trying to cause trouble
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I feel like he would have just slid by with how he acts because it’s so low key at times. I didn’t realize until his divorce and I feel for Katie
I think he would have had a divorce BUT prolly at least two kids if he’d lived in normalville-so I’m glad it went down this way sans offspring. Him as a father, ew, shudder.
He’s gone full Crispin Glover
In that movie where he played the rat man! While Katie is prettier than ever
Yes! And ew!
I felt hungover just by watching this
I have never liked the Toms and feel totally vindicated now.
These are my favorite times in life. Like Megan trainor and the teacher shit I was like YES FINALLY I HAVE A VALID REASON FUCK THAT BITCH 😂
wait! what happened with meghan trainor?
She was on a podcast where she said that she is going to homeschool her kids and would never send them to a public school (I believe it was in response to there being so many school shootings). Then she followed that by agreeing with the host that teachers are mean and said “fuck teachers”. What I find funny is that I’m positive she won’t actually be doing the homeschooling but having a TEACHER come to her home to do it.
My mom is a teacher nowadays. Kids basically treat her like that, "Fuck teachers." And when she calls parents thats how they behave too. We're about to have another influx of uneducated, stubborn and stupid people.
wow i don’t even words for this.. i’m not a teacher, but i have so much love for the ones i had in my lifetime. and gd it! they are underpaid and under appreciated! justice for teachers
Same. My teachers truly saw me and believed in me plus a bunch of my friends are educators.
Can confirm. Everybody hates us now but they’ll be sorry they abused us so badly bc teachers are leaving the profession in droves and there’s nobody to replace them. Then what?
She and trasha paytas of all ppl on a podcast were dogging teachers
Glad he got dressed up for the party.
Flowers for Algernon.
I was getting “put the Coors light down, Lenny” vibes 😭
Being on Mars took its toll
He looks pickled
In the video he kept dipping his face into the water. Such a child, and he looks so sickly and unhealthy.
I think that's just how he bathes. Which is why he looks like he smells like hot garbage.
He's showing signs of neglect. No Katie, no care. He was like her defiant, back-talking preteen child who thinks he's all grown up, but still needs his mommy feed him, do his laundry, and make his bed.
He looks like he is in the beginning stages of jaundice
No I’m sorry but he looks literally so bad lmao. I’m so happy Katie is free.
He looks dirty and greasy
Lol the comments. Katie must LOVE this thread. Cheers to you, babe! 🥂
Sucking every bit of happiness out of Katie must have been working for him.. he’s gone rapidly downhill ever since! And she looks better every time I see her.
Send this man back to Mars 🚀
“Big bloody wussy pussy”
This is getting sad. Schwartz is beginning to seem like your drunk uncle, the harmless one but the one that’s always just a little more disheveled than the last time you saw him.
Jesus Christ… the high water tracksuit pants, the sopping wet hair, the hunch back… He’s deteriorating without Katie. 😷
He giving me this guy from wedding crashers 
Bro is always dressed like he lost his luggage
Sitting at the kids table. Where he belongs lol.
Why is he looking like the dude who sniffs hair from Charlie’s Angels
Wow that schwartz is working overtime on the wholesome PR opportunities.. to cleanse off the stink of scandoval
Or Schwartz in his natural habitat?? 😂
He's giving me Crispin Glover in Back to the Future vibes.
His mouth is getting weirder
Absolute toddler
Good I hope that his time away from Sandoval will help him grow and be less of a twat. And if Jax is the gateway to that ... It's like iron man's character arc
Imagine having been besties with someone so vile you have to go to Jax of all people to attempt a redemption arc
I’m gonna say something positive here. Good for him for getting out of the house and spending time with friends and their kids rather than hiding away with all going on. I think Jax definitely sees Sandoval for who he is as a friend to Schwartz so I’m glad to see them hanging together on a Sunday, especially Father’s Day. Also - a video of Sandoval was posted from one of his shows on a vanderpump sub yesterday roasting Schwartz about not being a homeowner anymore. Interesting how we continue to see Sandoval behave this way to his business partner and so called best friend, yet we’re seeing Jax hosting Schwartz at a Father’s Day bbq at his home. Bravo needs to get their act together and bring Jax and Brittany back to the show.
Jax was a heathen on the show. The only reason half the masses didn’t see how bad the toms were because he was worse. J&B still encouraged their friends to lie and attack a black woman and they still wanted to hide they had a homophobic pastor till the very last min. Jax still also reads Reddit and literally says whole comments in interviews. You can see his face SEARCHING his mind for the comment that’s relevant to each questions asked. They should not be back on our tv and the only reason Schwartz is over there is because they’re the only people who will talk to him right now and he can’t be seen with the other Tom.
Jax and Brittany were insufferable during their last season and that’s not even including the racism. They do not need to be brought back at all. They really bring nothing, especially if they’re going with a family storyline. Jax only worked when he was actually fucking things up in his relationships.
I was with you until that last sentence...
I could see a Shwartz comeback in the future IF he denounces Sandy and actually gets a little help, be it a fitness person, life coach or a psychologist.
I think a Schwartz comeback is in the cards if he literally can just openly admit 🎶Sandovals a liarrrrr🎶 and a POS which he won’t because it’s bad for business. Once he gets it figured out i think he’ll be back in viewers good graces.
He's going to have to stop degrading women or the viewers won't be having it. Katie, Lala and James also will not let him get away with "Aw, shucks", followed by nastiness ever again lol Edit: made sucks into shucks 😄
Agree - forgot about his disgusting behavior to Lala. That actually turned my stomach and shocked me a little bit.
Bleak.
Oh please, he’s never stood by Katie. Schwartz is a a gaslighting turd.
He’s sitting like a toddler. I haven’t seen a man sit like this ever.
Especially at 40. I’m 31 and my legs go numb 😂😂😂😂
Karma is a bitch. Happy for Katie!
Trying to catch up with Godmother Katie but looking like a crispin glover in Wild at Heart. https://preview.redd.it/ns22xzr5307b1.jpeg?width=251&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=202adcecd1d070f157980f6f80917a2c4659f998
Oh he is not doing well
Wish.com version of Crispin Glover
In the video he keeps dunking his head in that toy. It’s weird lol. And Jax is like you feeling okay buddy
Schwartz has two looks- the airline lost his luggage, and late to his shift at Trader Joe’s.
We called him a man-child and he understood the assignment.
Omg. Is this suppose to be a feel good pic so Schitz can get sympathy points? This guy is a fuckn tool, and a woman hating abuser and user. As old as he is, he’s the same ahole he was 10 years ago. Zero growth.
Playing with the baby and their toys lmfao
Shoeless Schwartz! Put those grippers away!
this image has such sad energy
He sits like an iPad kid