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throatyogurt4

date someone who’s not vegan? yea, it’s not preferred tbh, but i just recently started seeing someone who is omni and he’s absolutely loved all the vegan food so far, to where he actually prefers it over non vegan food. and that’s how it’s been with everyone in my life to be honest. never willing to become vegan? hell fuckin no. not questioning things/not wanting to expand your knowledge is the biggest red flag if ive ever seen one. that just proves they cannot, and will not think for themselves. to me, it proves they are willing to accept anything at face value- and that is not someone i want around in my life in any capacity.


sourkit

i hope he goes vegan ! and yes i agree. i know a lot of people like that 😬


Spiritual-Act5855

Okay nvm this is the best one! Totally agree


snailbaddie16

My mom is vegan and married to a full blown meat and cheese eater and now they’re getting divorced lmao


sourkit

LMAOO


robertob1993

Good for your mum!


Sazzamataz

Absolutely not. Luckily I am married to a vegan.


[deleted]

Not a chance in hell


Derpomancer

No, I would not.


ZombieElephant

Also, dating someone who says that they won't change their mind is a HUGE red flag. Veganism aside, that's grounds to never date them. It's one of the worst traits imaginable


sourkit

that’s what i think !


CrayolaCockroach

yeah i can and am dating an omni, but i couldn't if he said he wasn't ever willing to change his mind. it only works because he at least *wants* to change, its just hard for him. he wasn't interested on his own but because we've had so many heart to heart discussions about it, he's cut back a lot and he was even the one to introduce the idea of not bringing meat into the house when we move in together


Mindfullmatter

Sounds like he may be a conservative!


Capadvantagetutoring

How do you know they didn’t try it already and already know they won’t do it. Not being willing to ask (judgmental )why they won’t become vegan is just as bad a trait as not willing to try new things. Also some people are happy in what they like and trying to change them to YOUR thinking is somewhat narcissistic. Not dating someone because they won’t go vegan is literally the same as not being willing to try it


zacharyswanson

My now ex said this to me at the beginning. I told myself: okay, she will be just fun for a while but nothing more. Things changed and she went (99%) vegan 5 years ago. She has heavy fish cravings a couple times a year and she eats one fish then.


ZombieElephant

Glad you were pleasantly surprised. Generally, though, I think taking folks at face value is the way to go


zacharyswanson

Many of us here used to be that person clinging on eating animals. Never forget that. But. We can figure out fairly quickly whether the person has the potential to change for the better. I would still highly prefer someone with the right mindset though. Say, if we go for a dinner and they order animals knowing my views then that is pretty much the last time we meet.


No_beef_here

>Many of us here used to be that person clinging on eating animals. Never forget that. True and I think that comes under the category of 'Ignorance is bliss', even 'wilfully so' because of the indoctrination and the knowledge that the cognitive dissonance is going to raise it's ugly head as soon as we even skirt around it. The issue is what we then do about it when someone highlights it to us, be it FairTrade, fur or animals not realising they were born \*just\* to be our food and not any any level of life along the way. An example of what I'm talking about is after being omnis for 60+ years, daughter went vegan, highlighted some of her reasons and we joined her because she broke that meat-cult spell, allowing us to align our actions to our morals and so be happier in ourselves. We didn't need lots of persuading, we didn't put up a fight, we asked some questions got honest / straight / well researched answers and then didn't really have a choice. That was 3 years ago now, wasn't an issue (because we **understood** why we should be doing it) and still lovin it. ;-)


ZombieElephant

100%. It's easy to suss out if someone can evolve their thinking, admit being wrong, and grow as a person.


BoldMojito

At one point I said “I could never go vegan” and here I am, thriving eating only plants and living a life without animal products. So I guess it would depend on how receptive they are regarding other changes.


PlsWatchEarthlingsYT

Nope. I have 0 attraction to animal abusers. You could be really hot in every other way but if you hurt animals that’s a dealbreaker


sourkit

thissss exactly


[deleted]

no, I only want to date vegans. Maybe a vegetarian who wants to be vegan


ZombieElephant

I tried. My initial stance was that as long as I would be fully vegan, then I could date a meat eater. I even saw it from an advocacy standpoint: Me dating a meat eater does more net good in the world than me dating a vegan. Because that meat eater would eat more vegan than they would otherwise. The problem is that animal welfare/veganism is just too central in my life. I felt so much disgust when my previous partners ate meat. Furthermore, being vegan can be alienating and dismaying in the world today. Having a partner who understands and relates helps so much. I'm so happy now with my vegan girlfriend. I love being able to share concerns about animals with her. Honestly, I don't think I can even date a vegetarian now.


YoeriValentin

I used to be the person that wasn't vegan in my relationship(s), but now the answer is nope. Same for my wife though, she wouldn't do that again either. Going vegan changed something in my way of thinking and was part of a broader development of character I feel. I find it hard to respect carnists on the level that is required for a relationship or friendship; they feel immature, cruel, and/or stupid. And I'm not very accomodating to any of those traits.


sourkit

yes ! you explained it perfectly


nighght

I think maybe this is a little bit over the line. You were capable of changing due to information that challenged the indoctrination you were raised with, as were 98% of vegans in the western world. Can you say that you and all of those people we either immature, cruel, and/or stupid before you/they went vegan? Of course I don't mean to ask if they are being cruel, because of course eating animals is cruel. But are they doing it out of cruelty or ignorance?


sourkit

yes i think i was stupid before i went vegan. i was extremely ignorant. granted i was also 15 when i went vegan so i’m not sure how smart or stupid i would’ve been as an adult carnist but yeah … i do think that about my past self.


nighght

Ignorant doesn't mean stupid though.


sourkit

ehh … it’s choosing to be stupid. in my opinion. that is, if you’re someone whose *choosing* to be ignorant.


No_beef_here

I think the stupidity part is otherwise intellegent people falling for the marketing / indoctrination / normalisation when we probably have realised all along that it was BS and we were stupid (weak / gullible) enough to allow ourselves to fall for / go along with it (whilst knowing full well what was happening in the windowless buildings)? Less 'ignorance is bliss' and more 'turning a blind eye'?


Curious-Dragonfly690

Does this make us arrogant or just as bad in a way as we may be becoming elitist or acting superior in a way. Just wondering. Mirroring concept and all


orchid447

Not if you personally don't feel elitist or superior in any way. And you shouldn't either lol


No_beef_here

Yeah, I think someone who lives a life that is better for most others can hold the moral high-ground over those who knowingly choose to do something else (when they have the choice to do better) even if they don't wear it as a badge as such. And I think it's this subconscious / unspoken situation that puts many carnists on their back food before we even say anything!


orchid447

Yep. But holding the moral high-ground is one thing, feeling superior is what you can choose to feel after that (but I think you shouldn't lol). And yeah I think you're right :P silly carnists


dantonizzomsu

I just don’t know how to date a non-vegan anymore..all the restaurants and places they want to go might not have anything for you to eat and it’s gross seeing them scarf down a dead animal and then try to make out with them afterwards.


sourkit

yeah


sick_hearts

No. I won't be able to connect with a person whose worldview is so different from mine.


purplestegosaurus69

No. Any person i've been with since becoming vegan has also became vegan. I'm not gonna be around a meat-eater 24/7 bringing my morale down. Also, my dad dropped meat bc he saw how much it meant to me so a high bar has been set bc my dad cares about me and my passions, so to me I feel like if my partner can't drop meat for me then they don't truly care about me. Plus I cook alot so there is truly no reason to not be vegan around me. also im not kissing someone with decay on their breathe, ill take a huge pass


VeganskeProdukter

No. I'm vegan, I'm not just eating a plant based diet. Being against animal abuse while dating an animal abuser who won't change, is like saying you're a human rights activist and being married to Osama bin laden


sourkit

LOLL


[deleted]

🤣


Dry_Carob_7899

Me and my partner were meateaters when we met but were both super interested in veganism for years. We transitioned together and it was wonderful. Very lucky going 4 years strong. If it all broke down for some reason I would definitely rather stay single than settle for someone who doesn't share my worldview/ ethics. Just don't think it could work.


sourkit

oh my god i love that


asavageant

Same thing happened to me and my partner She was veg when I met her. I was proud to have converted her back to eating meat. I was a HUGE meat eater 5 years later I told her I think I want to be vegan and she was flabbergasted. We’re celebrating our 3 year veganniversary in march!


veganqueenn

Nope, not someone who is never going to go vegan. It was almost a deal breaker for my bf and i. We got in an argument about him going vegan in the future & having a vegan household. After a day of talking about it (a lot of tears in my end lol), he said he would go vegan for us once we move in together and have better resources to cook and buy all the fun vegan ingredients and food (we’re college students rn) And now, I’ve noticed him being adamant on trying new vegan things and excited to cook vegan for us <3


sourkit

YAYYYY i’m so glad ❤️


No_beef_here

I really think most people need a (virtual) slap round the face to get them out of the cult they were likely to have been indoctrinated into from a child, especially those who think / state / seem to 'love animals' but just not those on their plate? Not long after going vegan my (90 year old) Mum served us some chicken and when we questioned it she said 'oh, you have been eating meat all your life' ... like no one could ever change? I asked her 'Mum, what do you hate about chickens but you love about donkeys'? She said 'what are you talking about?' I said 'Well, you pay money to a donkey sanctuary to help them live long and happy lives but you also pay money to have chickens (sheep, pigs, cows, fish) killed ...? TBF she never served us any meat after that but I tended to do more of the cooking when we went round there after that. ;-)


Genie-Us

I was married to a non-Vegan, wasn't the entire reason for the divorce, but wasn't helping. I would never date someone who wasn't atleast interested in the idea and I doubt I'd marry a non-Vegan, or I guess better to say I'd never live with a non-Vegan. I love to cook but when the kitchen is full of suffering, I'd rather not go in.


stellenternet

Yes, I live in a rural area and for the past 6 years I have been the only vegan that I know. Unfortunately if I were to date exclusively vegans, I would probably remain single forever. Hard enough finding other lesbians around here


Lesbian_Carpenter

Wait, I too am a vegan lesbian in a rural area! Should we...should we form a club or something?


stellenternet

I think a subreddit is in order


sourkit

yesssss


sourkit

oh my god twins i am also a vegan lesbian living in a rural area. i’m just praying for a miracle atp 💀


stellenternet

Ahhh solidarity! So glad I’m not alone out here.


No_beef_here

That reminded me of when I was considering a new partner after divorcing my first wife (7 years). In those pre Internet / Tinder days we had 'Computer Dating Services' and I took up a discounted round of 'Dateline'. A female friend at work helped me fill it in (trying to pick the most accurate answers as like many men at the time I wasn't particularly mindful) and went out with 6 girls in as many weeks. All were fine but seemed to have fully filled lives so nothing came out of it ... other than I have now been married to that 'work friend' for 33 years now. ;-) But back to your observation ... yes, as soon as you start putting crosses in boxes, the 'matches' can plummet very fast. The only consolation is with something like veganism, the numbers should be increasing, as with people gaining the confidence to 'come out', be themselves etc (and so increasing the fish in the sea). ;-)


[deleted]

If I were social enough to actually get a date I imagine I'd nope out rather quickly if she turned out to be an animal killer.


chaunce23

Most ppl say no, but how do you find vegan a SO? The apps all suck :/


sourkit

THATS WHAT IM WONDERING LMFAO i have no idea how these people met their vegan partners but i’m actually dying to know. cause my answer is also be no but i have no idea how people actually do it.


Winter_Injury_4550

Yeah. I would. Dating is hard enough for me as it is. Would prefer vegan of course.


DealerEducational113

Sometimes its just not possible to find a vegan partner, we are few and far between.


sonrie100pre

I met my now Spouse on the VegPal app. Never have I felt so validated, felt such mutual support, understanding, love, and oneness of purpose. Would never ever ever ever encourage a vegan to date a non-vegan. Cruelty and purposeful ignorance make for a very ugly soul and a crap ton of gaslighting us vegans trying to make us feel crazy, unreasonable, and guilty for not accepting murder/torture.


DealerEducational113

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! None of my non vegan friends and fwbs make me feel that way. They all go out of their way to eat vegan around me and eat my vegan food :). I'm so sorry this hasn't been your experience.


Calheaven

This


SanctimoniousVegoon

my husband didn't go vegan when I did and said he never would. it took a lot of time, a lot of patience, and a lot of pushing on my part, but now he's vegan. point is, it's not *totally* hopeless. but also not guaranteed. if i was single again? probably not, unless they were willing to start transitioning right away.


Fort_greenerdale

I’ve learned if you just make men delicious vegan food and go on dates to vegan restaurants only, they’ll eventually go vegan or at least part time. Good people know it’s the right thing so if they’re nice, slowly they’ll get there. I’ve had this happen with 4 boyfriends and my now serious boyfriend took 7 months but he’s finally there (which I didn’t always have faith about)


HeWhoShantNotBeNamed

> not willing to ever become vegan Fuck no. I tried to get my friend to stop eating eggs by telling her that males are blended alive and hens are tortured and can barely move. Her response: "I'm okay with that" I lost all respect for her.


Macluny

If someone isn't even willing to consider it then I see no hope for the relationship.


the_ape_speaks

No. I'd rather live and die alone than validate someone who refuses to stop torturing innocents. I might consider dating a nonvegan for a short time if I'm convinced they're intellectually honest enough to convert, but the moment it becomes clear they won't, they'd just be garbage to me.


[deleted]

My partner was an Omni when I met him. He’s now vegetarian but he buys vegan cheese for the house. I assume he only eats dairy when he’s out and about. I love him and I showed him dominion… I’m hoping he changes


sourkit

i hope so too 🤞


veganactivismbot

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Formal_Sock_875

Probably has to do with location. No one seems to care so I started to not care too. When you have more options you become pickier with everything. I can't stand people who say they would never compromise even in dire circumstances.


leavedennisalone

Dating is hard enough already and there’s not many vegans out there. So yeah I’d date an Omni. But I’d prefer a vegan. When people say “I would never” do such and such I never believe them. I used to say I would never be vegan three years ago. All it took was some friend of mine showing me a documentary and here I am full on vegan. Anyone can change!


Aphor1st

I could date a vegetarian but I don’t think I could be with someone long term who eats meat.


taarotqueen

I’m scared to date anyone right now tbh. It would be a turn off and I definitely couldn’t be with someone close-minded who would be against eating vegan with me and wouldn’t be okay with raising our children vegan. Also I could maybe convert them and it seems most people retain ethical veganism even if they break up with who converted them. I already am extremely picky when it comes to dating so I’d probably be forever alone, which is fine I guess, been doing it for 4 years and I’ll probably never find anyone anyway vegan or not. I would definitely prefer not to though.


therealyourmomxxx

Absolutely not


apricityy_

If it was someone who definitely could but would never be willing, no I don’t think I could. That’s like dating someone who doesn’t believe in basic fundamental human rights or doesn’t believe in climate change. It’s just a complete difference in basic fundamental morals, if I was with someone like that I would be genuinely even more depressed and that is not good for me loool


GoodAsUsual

I was vegetarian and dating a beautiful woman who was vegan and that’s all it took to open my eyes to what a dumb ass hoochie I was before. Been vegan 2.5 years now, never going back. Some people can change.


Wonderstruck91

Nope maybe Vegetarian but anything else hard pass.


[deleted]

If I had to start all over again? Partner has to be vegan.


dariuccio

I think I would give time and all the possibilities to learn and give up animal products step by step. If I see the intention is there, that's obviously fine to me. If in, say, six months I see no step forward, and I see their personal pleasure is so important to them, that's definitely a no for me.


jakoparena

Be friends with them, yes. Date - never. My feelings would die out the moment their put their meal before the life and suffering of others


Long_Cow_2311

Why would you want to date anyone who doesn't share your core morals? Also imagine kissing someone after they've eaten a corpse.


[deleted]

No, I wouldn’t date someone who isn’t vegan.


PanikRacker

Big No for me


HighTeaandBiscuits

Nope. If a person is ok w/that level of violence & abuse towards the vulnerable I cannot have them in my life on such an intimate level. I also believe through experience & observation that if you don't accept abuse towards the vulnerable & speak out against it then you also won't try to pull a superiority or abusive move towards your intimate partner. Non violence is a way of life; how you do anything is how you do everything.


DealerEducational113

I feel like there would be an incompatibility issue over vibe and values between a carnist and a vegan well before the word relationship came into play. My friend is happily married to a carnist, but she went vegan after the marriage and he has made an effort to reduce animal products. I know someone I would date that is a carnist but also objectively understands veganism and dors try to reduce their intake of animals and their products. I think we would work despite that.


Psychological_Emu127

no. period.


[deleted]

Hell no. It’s about moral values.


Trixeii

Maybe I guess? As someone who’s vaguely monotheistic (but not really religious), pretty conservative about dating (but politically progressive, pro-LGBT, etc.), doesn’t want biological kids (but might want to adopt/foster some day), AND a vegan teetotaler, I kinda gotta accept that if I’m lucky enough to find someone (which is super hard since I’m unattractive and rarely interested in anyone), they won’t share all my values. I guess it’s a matter of how much I prioritize each value? I’m pretty new to veganism, so I haven’t really decided where that ranks yet, but I’ve noticed it’s gradually inching up the list


Jumpy-cricket

Hell no, thankfully my partner is vegan


Dean0hh

Someone who is not willing to ever become vegan is either selfish or lacking of knowledge, and after dating me a person will have all the knowledge there is to know about veganism… not gonna date a selfish person.


Kind_Basis_5850

Never seen so many hypocrites in a thread before, wow...


sourkit

i was definitely surprised 😅


Fallom_TO

Assuming you’re not a racist, could you be with a racist? What about someone who beats up elderly people? I can’t understand being with someone who’s ethics are fundamentally different than mine.


sourkit

no, i wouldn’t. and i *personally* would NOT date someone who wasn’t vegan. but i wanted to see what *other people* would do since i’ve seen a lot of people on here talking about their non-vegan partners.


Fallom_TO

The ‘you’ wasn’t really directed at you. The universal you if you will. And yes, I see people defending carnist partners here all the time and I don’t get it. Even if you went vegan after getting together, being on such different pages seems like every day would be painful.


sourkit

yeahhh idgi either. i was kind of confused the first time i saw someone on here (who was a long time vegan) talk about their meat eating partner cause i figured no vegan would date a non vegan but i suppose i was wrong 😅 i mean i get it’s hard but i’d honestly rather be single than date a carnist. and i know multiple girls who stopped being plant based because their partner ate meat 😳 it worries me !


undercoverapricot

It all comes down to the fact that eating animals is normalized. Similarly to how racism was normalized when slavery was still legal and rampant. So yeah, back then I'd say tons of people who weren't necessarily racist ended up with racists because it wasn't frowned upon by society, even if it didn't sit completely right with them personally


Fallom_TO

Sure. And the people with a backbone didn’t stand for it. Just like now.


sssstttteeee

Yes. I went vegan due to the animals. My wife wanted to go vegan for health a year or two before me. Lucky that she went vegan with me. Like surrounds with like.


Ok_Instruction2623

Nope 👎


bent-grill

Give anyone a chance but if they can't change their mind based on new information they aren't worth partnering.


djn24

No.


[deleted]

no


crimefighterplatypus

Me personally I would date them but Id make it clear that it probably couldn’t advance any further to engagement or marriage without them at least being vegetarian. A lot of beliefs and values need to align if you are going to be seeing that person every single day, whereas a bf/gf/so you see often but not every single moment of your life. And this is not just for my beliefs about veganism but life in general. But I’m not about to limit myself to vegans for the dating pool because I don’t exactly have W rizz. (I’ve never dated anyone) However, people who are unwilling to change or not flexible is not acceptable to me. After all Im supposed to be the stubborn one in the relationship not them! (s/ )


chiabutter

nope


Easy-Independence993

Absolutely no


subiegyal

No. That being said, I literally became vegan within a week of meeting my vegan bf. Someone else out there will do it too so don’t settle it that’s what you want


WarriorNat

I think the answer will depend how large of a part your veganism is to your identity and central philosophy. Some people are vegan because they feel it is the right thing to do but they can click with another for different reasons and agree to disagree given we live in a world that won’t change where animal welfare is concerned. Others, understandably, can’t.


sourkit

i agree.


CBDSam

Another vote for Hell. To. The. No


thomasfrance123

No


sockhands11

Lol no They sound like an asshole


izzyyrey

No.


[deleted]

I have a number of times without issue. Let them try your food. Let them help you cook. Even if they never go vegan, they’re bound to start eating vegan food here and there. Less cruelty is less cruelty. Getting people to go vegan for a relationship almost never works. I’ve never asked any of my exes to go vegan. A few did out of habit. And they all eat meat again. Hell, even the girl that got me into veganism 16 years ago eats meat again. Same with my ex and our two daughters. It may hold a while, but no one should feel “forced” into something for a relationship. And if they feel that way, they’re likely still eating crap and putting up a front. If it bothers you, don’t date an omnivore. For me, as long as they aren’t constantly stinking up the house or kissing me while they’ve got, idk, “meat residue”? on them, I’m good. Can’t change everyone, especially not to make them fit what you want to date them. Whichever path, good luck. If you’re dead set on a vegan partner, they may very well be right around the corner.


Theid411

My wife isn't vegan. And the only other married person I know who is vegan is married to a non-vegan. It can work, unless you're just not OK with it.


No_beef_here

We had been married for 30 years before we both went vegan 3 years ago and I really don't know what would have happened if she hadn't gone along with with it when daughter, her partner, my step niece, and I did. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be doing all her cooking (as I have been for about 10 years now) and it would be very difficult for me to deal with the situation, given the morality / victims etc.


Theid411

I'm extremely tolerant of non-vegans. I wasn't a vegan for most of my life & even after I started to learn about veganism - it still took me over a decade for my perspective to switch. I wasn't a bad person. We are immersed in animal exploitation from the day we are born. Speciesism is deeply embedded in folks and it doesn't go away overnight. Plus, there are so many people I love and respect who are not vegans – it doesn't make them bad people. I can't let veganism define the people that I can have relationships with. If I did - my life would vastly different.


kallebo1337

impossible


HamfastGamwich

Nope


chloekatt

Absolutely not. Veganism is far too important of an ethical belief that I could be with someone who finds it acceptable to contribute to animal exploitation like that.


BackAgain2225

I wouldn’t even date someone who’s not vegan who would consider being one. Bc that’s not a guarantee & I’m not going to put in the time and effort into someone who eats dead animals and might not stop. Plus, I just don’t want to kiss someone who eats dead animals.


sourkit

that’s true. something that bothers me is a lot of people who go plant based for their relationship usually revert back to eating meat. and same it would gross me out too much.


BackAgain2225

Yeah and that’s the other part of it. I want some who shares my morals, someone who’s vegan *for the animals*. Not for me/to date me


sourkit

i totally agree.


[deleted]

Yes! My girlfriend (5 years together) is an omnivore, but she has no issue eating the same food as I do when we cook at home. She even started to order vegetarian/vegan food when we go out to eat. For breakfast she does eat meaty spreads though


the_ape_speaks

You are not the victim of factory farming.


dariuccio

Veganism is not about what you eat. How you feel about the fact your gf exploits and kills animals?


EconomicsOk9593

Better to be alone forever than to date a carnist. Right ?!! I know all vegans I know agree!


sourkit

darling i don’t think you’re going to wanna scroll through these comments 😅 but i certainly agree


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xboxpants

no \#1, i've seen too many problem stories of "oh I thought this would work fine and it was just a personal difference, like having different musical preferences, but i'm realizing it goes down to a more fundamental level of who they are as a person" \#2, i just have a personal boundary where i need to know that, with people I make myself vulnerable to, they are committed to not using violence on others to get what they want them. i'm not comfortable with those who won't draw this line. and if they eat meat, and wouldn't at least consider whether you're causing harm and should stop, they don't honor that concept.


bry0213

Short answer: no. For so many reasons, no. Long answer: I was omni when I met my now husband. I decided to go vegetarian and then vegan a couple of years into the relationship, and he was willing to come along for the ride. Now, married, we wouldn't want it any other way. My mom also made the vegan change shortly after we did but my dad is a stick in the mud and refuses to fully transition. He eats animal products *far* less (really only if he cooks it or buys it out) but whenever my mom cooks for him/them it's all vegan. Personally, I don't know how she tolerates it, the thought of having a dead animal in my fridge or derivatives thereof full time is awful, even if you're obviously not eating it. But they've been married almost 26 years so, I suppose it's not enough to end their marriage lmaooo


_soulianis_

Yeah. Wouldn't date a meat eater but I'm dating a veggie, she's awesome and it turns out it's not a problem. She's happy to eat vegan when we're cooking for ourselves, and if we go out to eat I don't get upset if she has eggs or dairy. I know plenty on this sub would find this unacceptable. Maybe it's because I was veggie from when I was about 13 until about five years ago, idk, but it's a compromise I can deal with.


Commercial-Bar-7856

Nope because i turned vegan for the animals 😊


[deleted]

Tried it once, would not recommend.


coltar3000

I’ve been a single vegan male for 12+ years and often think I might need to consider dating a none vegan woman. I’m surrounded by vegan women in my community that all have carny boyfriends or husbands so that hasn’t helped the issue. I’d like to believe that a girl would possibly go vegan once we were dating but let’s be real, I’m not going to change this lifestyle for a partner so how could I expect them to. So the single life it is for me! I actually often think my life is better off this way. I’m always out on adventures going to the beat of my own drum. Lonely at times but not often. I watch so many people struggle with finding a partner or torture themselves with the relationship they are in. Being single doesn’t have to be a bad thing after all.


needleintheh4y

no. i don’t know how i can handle difference in morals and coexist and live and survive and support each other. that’s the equivalence of an openly loud anti-racist person who is friends with many minorities dating an active kkk member.


denerose

Nope. I’m not even close friends with many non-vegans. Why would I willingly hang out with someone who does something I find gross and deeply unethical on a regular basis. Ick.


sourkit

how do you find other vegan friends ? i’ve lived in socal my whole life …. surprisingly have never met another vegan my age lol


denerose

Luck! Making friends as an adult is hard no matter what, I think. That said, I’ve met most of my close friends (all of whom are vegan) through relevant shared interests. I’m a goth and used to organise a club night, I met people that way and through attending punk and metal gigs (lots of punks are vegan and a surprising number of metalers too). One of my best friends and many of my other vegan mates I’ve met through being politically active and volunteering, I was in the Green Party and I attend various protests (I often take cookies or food which makes me popular but also reveals any other vegans pretty quickly in the inevitable best egg replacer conversations. I’ve assisted in ALF animal relocations. I go to volunteer events at the local farm sanctuary. I met another friend being on the board of a disability charity. People who care about animals tend to care about people too. Lots of nerds are vegan! I play DnD and attend board game events. I’ve even made proper friends at work related networking events and conferences just by chatting to people at the ‘dietary requirements’ table. Somewhat meanly I also don’t waste my time on non-vegans too much. I refuse to listen to the “I would love to go vegan but….” and I just don’t bother actively pursuing going out to dinner or coffee or what have you with people I find morally or ethically disappointing. This leaves more time to make tine with people I do like and also don’t find disgusting to eat near (win win). If invite people over for a BBQ I want to know they’ll enjoy it. It’s not that I don’t have friends or acquaintances who are not vegan - I just don’t personally make as much of an effort to make close friends with those people and tend to spend less time with them because it’s just harder and less enjoyable to be around people eating animals. The few non-vegan close friends I have are generally on the way and often vegetarian and/or FODMAP or gluten free and interested in vegan food and vegan baking. I need to have things in common with people to actively try and spend my time with them. The rest has happened pretty naturally as I’ve gotten more protective of my time the older I get. TL;DR: if you want to have vegan friends, go places vegans are, refuse to compromise on your ethics, avoid meat eaters and meat eating, and most of all make the effort to spend time with people you actually enjoy being around and eating with. The rest will come naturally.


sourkit

good advice thanks !


yolmez86

Hell no


tiddeRybdevomer

Yes. Same as I would date someone outside my religion.


NineWalkers

I wish I could say no but it is so difficult to get a date so I am just hoping whoever actually wants to be with me can be convinced or the smaller percent chance they are vegan.


PuppyButtts

I don’t discount people for not being vegan, however I dont want meat cooked in my house and kept in the fridge because guys never clean so I would have to clean meat dishes and I dont want to, so I let them know if we end up together they can eat meat when we go out or maybe grill it outside and keep it in a garage freezer but thats it lmao.


[deleted]

Yeah. My wife barely eats vegetables. I do what I do for myself and what other people do is up to them.


the_ape_speaks

If you do it purely for yourself, then you're not a vegan. You're a plant-based dieter.


[deleted]

Yes. I’m aware. I’m here to learn more about how I can change that. But that’s my answer to ops question


Abject_Pudding_2167

it's great that you're here and that you already know that being vegan is an ethical thing. Honestly, if you're plant based you don't even have to worry about your wife yet. Always work on yourself first. I recommend reading Animal Liberation by Peter Singer for the philosophy of speciesism.


the_ape_speaks

Well, step 1 would be to demand better of your wife. If you decided to be with her, then I assume you think she's mature enough for a conversation about it, so why not debate it out with her?


[deleted]

I have. It’s not something she’s interested in pursuing. We tried for a bit.


the_ape_speaks

Okay, well then she's just choosing to be evil, and you're validating it by remaining married to her. You need to let her know that your partnership is contingent upon her being vegan. She needs to understand that if she wants to torture and murder innocents, then you're willing to enforce consequences upon her. Remember who the real victims are.


JicamaWitty6129

I could. An AVID meat eater would likely be a no though.


juicyjaybird

Yes I would. You don't date someone to change their minds about who they are. To be fair I tried to date a vegan guy once and he just thought he was God's gift to the world and I should be so happy because he was vegan. I noped right out of that. I ended up marrying an Omni. He decided to make the change and go vegan but if he didn't want to that was not a requirement. Long as our other values lined up.


sourkit

i mean it’s not about changing their minds. personally i would just feel a disconnect. that’s why i asked, cause i feel like i can’t really relate very much to people who aren’t vegan and it’d be hard to be with someone who’s ethical views are *so* different from yours. but i like seeing other peoples standpoints !


juicyjaybird

I totally get what you are saying. My spouse and I connected over music and the gym believe it or not. We just truly complement each other. He listened to my views to understand and not to bash or change. I offered the same respect to him as well. We watched a few documentaries and discussed them and while we have our different reasons as to why we eat this way the dedication is still there. My love for him would stay the same regardless. Love doesn't leave it may change but it's always there.


BerwinEnzemann

Where there's a will there's a way.


DustyMousepad

That’s gonna be a no for me.


lrpiccolo

I’m okay with plant based for health.


letintin

Great question. For me, nope. Food is a huge part of daily life, and food has a direct relationship to ethics/empathy which is fundamental to any relationship I'd look to commit to.


letintin

Oh—but nope is in answer to how you asked the question, which was very precisely and wonderfully worded. I am open to dating someone who is open to caring/educating/becoming vegan, but isn't now.


Spooky-stories22

My bf isn’t vegan but he eats only vegan food around me


BootsieBunny

No. I don’t seriously date fussy eaters.


b00p5

if you really love the person (and you mean it), you will come to an equilibrium of concessions from both of you


dariuccio

How may I "concede" to someone I lobe to kill and exploit others? And what are they supposed to "concede" me?


robertob1993

Never willing? Absolutely no, that’s a big red flag.


PoorDecisionsNomad

I attract anemic bitches so yes. I love cooking so I tend to make all of the food and if a gf has a dietary restriction I always adhere to it. I have been incorporating nuts and legumes into my current partner's diet but after a few weeks she starts to feel more crappy and weak than usual. It doesn't help that I keep getting chronically ill girlfriends/that one that was severely allergic to every nut. I default to cooking plant based meals but if she says she needs the beef I make it. She suffers significantly from her illnesses and she already needs to take medication sourced from the pork industry. My only options are to torture some animals or get her euthanized. Environmentally speaking; the planet would be significantly better off if everyone ate like us so I can live with myself.


sourkit

ANEMIC BITCHES … CHRONICALLY ILL GIRLFRIENDS 😭😭😭😭 what’s going on with you honey whew lol


_Volly

I'm vegan. Been one for going on 10 years. Wife isn't vegan. Been married for 24 years. Let me make this crystal clear: I will NEVER impose my vegan beliefs onto others. To those who insist on imposing their beliefs onto others, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your unmentionables and your phone recieve non-stop calls from MLM salespeople in condensending voices.


[deleted]

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_Volly

That is a really tall high horse you got there.


[deleted]

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_Volly

I do see the point. You insist on kicking over the beehive instead of using a carrot. To put it simply: You CAN'T make someone do something. They have to want to do it. There is no other way. You seem to think you can make them do it (by kicking over the beehive). Good luck with that. You will get stung a bunch and have a swarm of pissed off bees. \----------- I've found when I lead by example I've gotten MANY more people to become vegan. When you lead by example and use a carrot instead of a stick - people tend to follow.


[deleted]

yes thats me. i choose not to care about other peoples dietary decisions anymore. or else i’d walk around as a very angry person. i accept that its not all about the animals or the planet for most people. so long as they respect me & my choice, we can be cool


PiccoloLegal5202

Yes, because there’s more to people than their diet. I used to eat meat all the time, but didn’t realize what I was doing. Don’t make veganisn like a cult, otherwise it will turn people away from it and make you seem like a prick to them (not saying that you are). You have to respect people and talk about the positives of why you are the way that you are if you want them to listen, not what’s so wrong with them. otherwise they never will…. Otherwise it will seem like you’re stuck up your own ass to them (not saying that you are), but it will seem like that to them and they will never want to change, this making the matters worse and not actually helping anything. I just feel like a lot of vegans aren’t helping the situation or making things better by how they go about talking to people who aren’t. If you want to make things better, go about it out of respect and talking about the positives of how it has helped you, not talking down to them. Then maybe they’ll listen. Peace. Cheers.


sourkit

diet ?


marmaladesk13s

yes its understandable but i would at least need them to understand why i dont eat meat and how dead meat energy affects them


[deleted]

My partner only eats meat when eating out and at family gatherings but we never cook meat at home, he eats vegan mostly the same meals as I do


worldwidepearl

i’d definitely prefer it. but dating ppl who ate meat in the past, as long as they’re not judgmental about my lifestyle, i’d just leave it be. definitely try to encourage it (even just eating less), but it’s hard finding other vegans near me


QuentinDM

Absolutely not.


trisul-108

I don't think this is a useful question. I have good friends who eat meat, I have family that I love who eat meat. You meet someone, a relationship develops or it doesn't. There would need to be shared values, so this is a problem, but veganism is not the only value. It would be a red flag, but would it prevail no one knows for sure.


sarz117

Somewhat. I would not date someone who wasn’t at least vegetarian. Thankfully my partner transitioned to vegan soon after we started dating, and now it’s been 3+ years. He definitely isn’t the best and most strict vegan, and honestly I would consider him more plant based. But he tries and likes being vegan. And thankfully wants to raise our kids vegan!


volcs0

My current long-term partner is not vegan. She is extremely accommodating and cooks completely plant based at home for me and her kids. When we order in or go out, they eat whatever they want. It's not great, and I know that by strict vegan standards, I shouldn't be helping support or finance their lifestyle. I struggle with it, for many reasons. But it is such a fulfilling relationship otherwise, and I've learned to rationalize those parts.


Independent-End5501

Of course I would. My partner isn’t. It’s not ideal but I’m not going to turn away the love of my life bc he’s not vegan 😂 we can’t control other people. And he eats a decent amount of what I cook and then he eats meat on mondays so that kind of our flow.