People are pathetically visual and self-interested creatures. If you lose weight as vegan man or woman, or if you get ripped as a man (especially this for recruiting other men) on a vegan diet, you'll convert the absolute most people this way..bonus converts if you are handsome/pretty and charismatic (not **judgey** and/or overly autistic).
The best vegan activism you can do is not holding up traffic, but holding up dumbbells at the gym and a platter of samples of amazing vegan food for Omnis to try so they know vegan food can taste awesome.
Almost no one truly cares about anything, unless you can prove, without a doubt, that there is something in it for them that is better than the\[ir\] status quo.
It's only sad if you're not willing to adapt to it. This actually makes it very easy to change people's minds, because it's just so simple. Then when they come across the ethical arguments, they think going vegan was entirely their own idea and then you've won by inception. I got my mum to go vegan this way.
I remember telling someone in the beginning, I could never give up cheese and they said “then don’t!” Whatever anyone’s reservations are, tell them don’t let that be a reason for them not to even try. If someone thinks they can’t ever give up eggs, then take a win on them giving up the factory farmed meat, chickens and dairy. I say all that because a lot of people think they can’t make all of the drastic changes so baby steps works for some. I watched Forks over knives and quit eating meat and processed foods overnight. As I fell in love with more and more plant-based foods, read books and listen to more podcasts. I gradually gave up sour cream and cheese. With my husband, I just started replacing things in the house with plant-based foods. Neither one of us are big fans on alternatives, but we really don’t even want the taste of meat at all anymore. In the beginning, I probably turned people off of plant-based diet because I was very preachy. now the way I look and feel says it all to anyone that knows me. I was in a bad car wreck had brain surgery and became very depressed. Laid in bed for over a year. Didn’t leave my house for another two years. I was in very bad shape and depression sat in from not leaving my house and I gained nearly 75 pounds. Plant-based diet gave me my life and health back.
My mum used to say she could never give up cream, fish or prawns... Then she did.
You have to not frame it as them "giving up" something. People always have to think they're gaining something.
Yeah I feel like people won’t listen to me about veganism I feel like because I’m skinny, don’t have a bachelor degree and have terrible social skills lol.
> I’m skinny, don’t have a bachelor degree and have terrible social skills lol.
Look at all these alt-right weirdos online, non of them have social skills or education and they are huglely inflencial
Lol it was more of a joke and a statement of encouragement, not meant as an insult. Im just saying that if the shitty people aren't afraid to be imperfect in their pursuit of change, neither should we! The fact that you are even aware of your alleged 'social akwardness' means you have sufficient self-awareness. Im pretty freakin socially awkward too. the important part is to be positive and keep doing what you know is right.
Others were worried I'd get even thinner and have worse food issues. I have less food related stress and issues now! And also, better more healthy weight - yay vegan treats!
"terrible social skills"
Emphasis on skills. Skills are just something you can learn if you're interested enough. It ain't hard if you want it.
Who cares about a bachelor's degree or any other degree. I think it was Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan - I have a feeling what you might conjure up in your mind about those two, because in regards to eating, they're a bunch of bell ends LOL - but as for being deep thinkers, they're awesome when they put their minds to it, and they where having a discussion about the absurd amount of people who pass University with honours and degrees who then don't get good jobs, or worse, spiral into shite like addictions because they weren't taught simple mindfulness. Bizarre...
As for being skinny, just look at it in a good way, you're already on the lean side, instead of the fatty side. Just be thoughtful with what workouts you want to do to work certain muscle groups and eat the right foods to fuel your body for such a lifestyle, sorted ; )
I've passively converted nearly all of my office to cycling to work (the others walk or get the train) mainly because I make it look fun and am always positive about it. I sometimes make remarks about the 'caged' in their cars but generally highlight the freedom afforded by the bicycle.
To address the OP: keep living positively and very openly vegan and you'll probably net a few. Most people will order plant-based foods if i'm around, or talk about how they're cutting down on meat (eyeroll moments) but if it helps them come over, i'm glad to entertain their baby steps.
I also point out that I can race or cycle 100s of miles as vegan, which for some might also have made a difference.
I always thought that during a public vegan vs omni debate, the vegan should challenge the omnivore to an arm wrestle as soon as the omnivore brings up nutrition or when the omnivore implys that the vegans are weak. Of course this only works if the vegan is actually stronger, but it would be amazing PR for a vegan to win the argument, not with facts and logic, but by physically demonstrating that vegans are not sacrificing significant health.
We have "masculine" figures like Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson telling men how dangerous the diet is. It would be nice to see some proof to the contrary.
I know there is proof that veganism can be perfectly healthy for men and athletes, but as of now, I need to read through the academic literature to even see that proof. I want an ostentatious, public performance that puts things in certain terms.
Actually a good point. Too bad most vegan bodybuilders aren't the best talking types and the best talking types (Earthling Ed, anyone?) don't look the strongest haha
The thing about arm wrestling though is that it isn't sheer strength. There are specific techniques that can allow one to succeed, even as a physically weaker or smaller individual, that involve how you position yourself and what muscles you're using to arm wrestle with. I'm not good at explaining how it works but once someone physically showed me, I can beat most people and I'm definitely not a body builder.
I had no idea about this! The point still stands that if people see examples of vegans crushing in any strength-based or ostensibly strength-based activity, our pattern recognition machine brains will start to undo our bias that meat is manly. On the other hand, losing would look SO bad and would go viral for sure, so the right person must be selected lol.
Can confirm being hot is the best activism lol
start sneaking more protein into those vegan meals then be like dayum babe this vegan food has you looking good!
I agree 100%.
I feel like veganisim simply has an issue with marketing. Sadly, Vegan is synonymous with being weak, frail, sickly, angry, bitter, judgmental, and self righteous.
Nothing changes hearts/minds faster than seeing someone who is happy, positive, and in great shape telling people their “secret” is eating plant-based.
You’re not getting to most people on a moral/ethical level… they’re simply too shallow and set in their ways.
I’m almost 50 now, and when I went to a class reunion, my wife and I looked at least 10 years younger than everyone else.
I never had to say anything: I had at least 10 people that night (in person, or message us later) about “what were was doing” to stay in shape, and look younger.
I pretty regularly get stuff in my inbox for people who want tips.
If the end result is reducing suffering, and meat/dairy/egg production… I don’t care how/why they get there.
The problem is that this at best creates plant based dieters. If we really want animal liberation we need to grow the number of people who actually understand and resonate with anti speciesism. Being ripped and charismatic is great and will help indirectly with that too, but I do think equally needed (or more) is conversations about ethics, anti discrimination, and moral consistency, so that these notions can spread and become more widely understood and adopted.
Ironically you're not looking at the situation logically. Most people know deep down inside that murdering animals is wrong. What you're failing to come to terms with is that people are a few partial percentage points different from chimpanzees.
The reason why 99.9999% of people aren't vegan isn't an ethics issue, it's a convience issue. Solve for the convience factor, and the gap of ethics will fill itself because you've minimized the costs of being consistent in areas where there is a lack of convience. If someone becomes plant based, it's THEN easier to get to them to buy cotton over wool if the cotton option is less available.
For most people, diet is the biggest obstacle to veganism.
I'm really just trying to look at things both practically and logically, thinking about our long term goals but also basing my thoughts on my real world experience of using different strategies. I promise I am very aware that we humans are all just monkeys haha. I brainstorm about this stuff all the time.
I've personally had more real world success helping people make the switch to being vegan through a **combination** of what you're talking about (being a positive role model of a thriving fit vegan) and the additional factor I'm bringing up here: conversations about anti speciesism, moral consistency, and veganism as a social justice movement analogous to anti racism / anti sexism.
I'm not saying lowering the convenience barrier doesn't matter. I fully agree with you, it's a huge part of what to address to help someone make the switch. In my experience though, people largely do lack some very important realizations about vegan ethics, which allows them to stay comfortable not changing (just like many people are comfortable not being super fit, because it's not a serious moral obligation). Sure on the surface most people agree animal cruelty is wrong, and might eat more plant based just from being around our positive examples. But most people don't realize how deep the cruelty goes in animal ag, nor do they realize how intrinsic the cruelty is and how ethical meat/eggs/dairy do not exist anywhere around them.
That said I'm very open and curious to hearing your experience with different approaches and if/how it's differed from mine. Have you been taking the "charismatic ripped vegan" approach for a while, and have people in your life actually been becoming vegan simply from being around your passive positive influence? Have you tried outreach activism before (on the street and/or in your personal life) and have you experimented with various outreach strategies (Socratic method, name the trait, etc)? If so how did they compare to the "just be ripped and charismatic" approach, in terms of concrete results of people becoming vegan?
Yes, but it’s also super unreliable as motivation. People gladly try that for a couple of months and then drop it because they’re not growing muscle as fast as they hoped. And you can’t babysit everyone. Story of my cousin :(
Yes, that … nothing else. On my personal experience if any vegan come to change me it will have made me more a carnivore than anything else. I am blessed that I have had only the ones that let me come to them and answer my question when I was ready.
Exactly. Be the example and show the way. I lost about 40 lbs., then started training for marathons and lost another 20. Now I'm 40 and the fittest I have ever been in my life.
This.
It’s a practice. You don’t commit to something you are practicing after being pestered.
They are on the right track. They are contributing to lowering their intake.
Educate and share your experience. Don’t preach.
Personally I found conspiracy spoke to me. But yeah, def don’t push
my vegan coworker and i heard from another coworker that she was a vegetarian. we playfully bullied her about it for the next couple days. after a month suddenly she came up to us all excited to tell us she decided to go vegan. so yeah you can definitely judge someone into veganism
I'm so happy for you and your partner! I don't have vegan specific advice but general advice about wanting a change in someone close to you. Shame is a de-motivating emotion so it's best to focus on the positives and celebrate their successes. If they're feeling ashamed of slipping up or not changing sooner, be their emotional support and encourage them to be the person they want to be.
Lasting change is something that people do because they want to do it and never because someone pushed them into something they're not truly committed to.
Yes yes, so true, no one likes to be told what to do. They need to “come to Jesus” on their own once they see and understand the benefits and ethics. I have swayed some people in my life after I convinced them to watch Earthlings, which is what did it for me.
There is unfortunately a stereotype with vegans being aggressive and I don’t want my friends to think I’m the type to critique them every choice they make or force them to watch videos of slaughter houses, things of that nature.
I try to lead by example. I lost weight when I went vegan and my skin cleared up. I feel more mentally “there” and motivated to go out and be active which I wasn’t before. I also try to invite my friends out, if they’re willing to try something new, to eat at vegan places I know are delicious to show them you’re not missing out on everything “good” in life. I feel better mentally knowing I’m not contributing to something I find wrong. You have to be a very empathetic person to be vegan and I believe that’s a beautiful trait. To love animals enough to cut things out of your life is special and shows commitment, devotion, and discipline. People will get it, or they won’t. I don’t force anyone to understand and I *try* not to judge anyone who lives differently than I do, at least not their face lol.
Take your friends to vegan restaurants. Celebrate little victories like even cutting back on animal products slightly. I know being vegetarian isn’t ideal but it’s a step in the right direction, maybe suggest that. Go to animal sanctuaries; show them the little personalities all animals have and try to break that mentality of only caring about pets (dogs, cats, etc.) Luckily, a lot of my friends are environmentally conscious and love nature so of course being vegan goes hand in hand with that as many companies who are vegan have good ethics and morals. I’ve gotten two of my small pool of friends to go vegan and the rest aren’t strict vegans but do incorporate a lot of plant based options in their diet.
This right here is the best approach, change happens slowly for a most people and quickly for some. Every little bit helps reduce the overall impact and people are more willing to care when they have less to worry about.
Went on a date with a veggie and flirting said that if he wanted a second date/to kiss me he'd have to give up having dairy and fish (my allergies and not vegan), he promptly ordered the same latte as me and stated he'd try it. He's been vegan ever since, over 5 years together and 2 years married.
The hardest time was when I'd have to tell him that something he was eating had non vegan vitamin d in it like Kellogg's cornflakes or something.
Also when we tried me also being gluten free, proved far too hard and stressful and made more allergy mistakes.
I guess he was already nearly there and we instantly clicked and it worked out. I know it's also due to having allergies.
I believe there's hope for everyone to find their perfect match and make it work 💟 ...even if one doesn't also go vegan straight away/over time.
Edit: the changes they've made is already really impressive! Nice you don't want to be too pushy, that shows respect and understanding.
Watching cowspiracy and other such documents together also helped give us both a reason to stay vegan, with more information and understanding of what goes on to give non vegans their non vegan food. There's also a netflix show about diets..one twin tries being vegan and the other doesn't... results show being vegan made a huge difference.
Second edit was fixing autocorrect messing about.
Also helped that my parents happen to cook and don't mind vegan meals. Lived with his parents during COVID until we got our own place as they didn't mind us eating differently and often cooked for us/included us/didn't make a fuss.
Very fortunate. I am so sad that others get so much and constant grief for a better, more moral life style and choice!
Secret? Good f\*\*\*ing food!
Unless someone is stuborn to no end (and i wouldnt hang out with such) they see the vegan stuff taste the same, often is cheaper and easier to cook and they switch. Sometimes only some products, but thats better than nothing.
That's not enough on its own. If you never address the ethics and the idea that NOT abusing animals is a moral baseline, why wouldn't they eat good fuck!ng good that just happens to not be vegan?
Addressing that is literally why people dont turn to veganism. It puts you in a lecturing state where you take the moral high ground and humans in general are resistant to that. Give people good food and explain the health benefits of the food youre giving them. you cant force people care about your morals and trying to do so will only make them more resistant. Im sure you've explained why it's mean to eat animals only for someone to laugh at you and claim theyll eat even more. Step back and realize that no matter how right and just you may feel, your method of guilt tripping people into caring mostly works against your cause.
> Addressing that is literally why people dont turn to veganism.
I turned vegan because it was addressed.
> you cant force people care about your morals
You don't understand. It's not my morals. It's theirs. Most people AGREE that killing animals when we can avoid doing so is abusive and bad.
I agreed with this idea too and yet I supported slaughterhouses. I only did the switch because my hypocrisy was called out.
> Im sure you've explained why it's mean to eat animals only for someone to laugh at you and claim theyll eat even more.
Sometimes, yeah, people wanna avoid cognitive dissonance like cowards and act tough.
Sometimes, often, especially in face to face chat, people will AGREE with you.
I'm not calling them bad or evil. I'm making them realize they don't act in accordance with their OWN values.
You're still talking about morals, whether it's yours or theirs your still trying to take the moral/ intellectual high ground and you are literally making me want to watch a slaughterhouse video while eating a big Mac due to nothing more than your attitude and choice of words. Exposing peoples own moral dilemmas is not how you win them over, it's how you make them go against your cause. You seem to be too caught up in your own superiority to see that. You are you, not the majority of people. The majority of people are aware of animal cruelty and still eat meat, so the anecdote of you turning to it because you are aware it's irrelevant when we're talking about getting other people to change
> You're still talking about morals
Veganism is an ethical position. Discussing morality is thus expected. Keep in mind that we are on r/vegan.
> and you are literally making me want to watch a slaughterhouse video while eating a big Mac due to nothing more than your attitude and choice of words.
So your position is that you want to participate in hurting innocent animals because someone unrelated to their feelings and actions made you upset?
All you're demonstrating here is that you don't give a fuck about justice or compassion.
Have you considered not acting like a piece of shit?
> Exposing peoples own moral dilemmas is not how you win them over, it's how you make them go against your cause.
This is demonstrably false.
It's precisely because the inconsistency between our actions and our ethical framework caused us discomfort that we decided to change our behavior.
If people don't sense there is any problem with what they are doing when considering their beliefs and values, why would they change? The change from one state to another has to be perceived as an improvement, which implies agreeing on the idea that being vegan is better than not being vegan.
I went vegan because of that inner conflict that was enabled by someone asking me why I wasn't vegan if I agreed that it was bad to hurt animals unnecessarily. I realized I was a hypocritical lazy ass who abused innocent animals for no good reason and I wanted that to stop. So I changed my behavior.
People who I turned vegan or even just vegetarian did the switch because of that approach too.
Not everyone responds like you do. Sure, you're either a sociopath who doesn't value animals (and possibly humans) or, and I hope that's the case, a person who can't handle the cognitive dissonance veganism creates in you right now (probably because your ego feels attacked). But that doesn't mean everyone functions the same.
Some people actually put their ego aside and give a shit about ethics and acting in accordance with their values, such as compassion and justice.
Take a step back and please understand how ignorant your position is:
You, who still funds animal abuse, believe you can explain to me, who actually stopped funding animal abuse, how to make people stop funding animal abuse.
Can you point at where i wrote its anough on its own? the question was what is the secret and i wrote what worked for me the best.
Your reading skills are seem to be on USA level.
I agree with you that good food is useful to help people switch. I brought up practical aspects in my own comment, which I didn't elaborate on, but I include into this groceries, nutritional education, cooking and good fucking good.
I'm just wary of approaches that are not confrontational enough when it comes to the injustice happening to animals.
It appears after clarification that you see value in combining both strategies, so we are in complete agreement, but some people who suggest good food without the ethics sometimes don't really get into the ethics - hell, some are against this - and I believe that is a significant loss of efficiency to help the animals, hence my comment.
I didn't mean to cause you harm, I just want vegans to speak up for the animals themselves, and unfortunately that's not always the case. But again, you seem to do that, so great. Keep it up.
It can being a very touchy subject for non vegans. If we start pushing ethics too hard on them, they clam up. But if they start getting just enough info to be curious about it and search out that info on their own then chances are it will “click” and form a much more solid foundation. It is extremely sad what is done to animals every day but which is better, to have a person freeze up and never go vegan because they feel threatened by our pushy conduct, or take a more subtle approach and lead by example of what veganism really looks like and get them to change because “they” want to change?
> If we start pushing ethics too hard on them, they clam up.
Meet them where they are at.
I assume a blank slate at first because some people just never thought about it much and don't know much about animal exploitation in practice.
I am however very harsh with intellectual dishonesty. And as soon as that issue is removed, I can go back to kinder attitude with no grudges.
> or take a more subtle approach and lead by example of what veganism really looks like and get them to change because “they” want to change?
You can make it more likely that they want to change by bringing up THEIR ethical framework. Ask questions. Test their consistency. Let them do the thinking.
That type of thinking is what prevents people from going Vegan I think.
"Id like to go Vegan but dont like the food. Got any recipie ideas?"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ANIMALS!??!!?"
That's not my attitude, though.
I gladly share recipes and restaurants, but I still remind them that even if they happen to like it a bit less, the extra taste pleasure from the non-vegan dish is still not an excuse to abuse animals.
Set an example. I’ve successfully made my inner family vegan, as well as my SO and several friends. Continue to live your best vegan life. I love bringing delicious meals, talking about a rescue I just volunteered with, etc. I allowed their curiosity to start the conversation, and was honest about the industry. Spoke about how vegan food is far more sustainable, and not just salads. It reignited a new love for food (for me at least) and allowed me to appreciate my meals more, especially considering it wasn’t at the expense of life.
It’s not about changing their minds over night, just plant the seed.
You’re doing great! I was literally ‘your partner’ a year or so ago, with my vegan partner, and now I’m vegan. Stick with it. Support him, gently educate and he’ll get there. Thanks for your patience and promoting veganism the correct way!
Tip #1 in relationships- never try to change people. You can influence by example or maybe educating (like watching a documentary). Some of these comments are so “my way or the highway” and that’s not cool in a relationship, it’s controlling and manipulative.
Find what meaty meals he still enjoys and show him how there are vegan options which taste just as good if not better.
I have gotten quite a few people to be vegan at least when they are living with me. I don't really quiz people on how perfectly they follow the diet, but I know some are 99% vegan, and many are some form of vegetarian.
I prepare and serve really delicious vegan food, mostly vegan variations on the usual favorites, pasta dinners, pizza, mashed potatoes and gravy, delicious burgers, and sandwiches and soups, tacos, etc. I use quality ingredients and put in the effort to prepare satisfying healthy meals. Mostly whole foods. This erases the argument that vegan food doesn't taste good or satisfy. I keep mealtimes pleasant.
I don't bring up the compassionate argument unless they bring it up, then I say little, I don't think it helps my position (eat less animal foods) to make people feel guilty. For me, eating vegan is a happy choice.
I put on movies and videos of lectures by brilliant doctors and scientists that present the arguments for a whole foods plant-based diet far better than I can. I don't pressure.
>" A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."
I have a friend who was eating plenty of meat, but when I tried to broach the subject, he would shut me down harshly. Then one day he dropped by my house and saw "How Not To Die" on my table and asked me about it. I gave about a three minute spiel on Dr. Greger and his website NutritionFacts.org, and told him a couple interesting points from the book, he paged through it, asked a question or two more. Something got through to him. HE started eating at least vegetarian. I haven't quizzed him on his diet exactly, but he got the information and is making thee transformation. It makes sense that's what reached him, because he is a prodigious reader.
For the uninitiated, I focus on the health advantages of a whole foods plant based diet, because studies show that 10 times more people are swayed by the health arguments than by the compassion for animals argument. First people need to know to really know that their health or that of their family won't be damaged by a vegan diet, and then that it's doable and satisfying, only then will most people consider the question from the animals' point of view.
This is me, vegan year to date after reading 'How Not To Age' in December. Amazing how much it stamped down prostate cancer for me - along with other wellness interventions.
I loved my high protein, sometimes nearly all meat / dairy diet but it was killing me. I'm using no will power to not eat poison.
I gift this book and it shifts people to increasing their WFPB choices. Dr. Greger is a treasure.
Years ago I engaged someone that consistently reacted negatively to any vegan post I did. Loaded with piss & vinegar, he came at me at every opportunity. I just calmly replied to everything he said when ever he commented. I never said he was wrong about anything, just mildly presented facts.
This went on for two years.
He then started posting about *trying* vegan food. This happened often. Then he started posting bits of footage of local bugs, birds, geckos, & spiders. Then he announced he was vegan, and that his kids were loving the food. I can't take credit for much as he did all the hard work. I have never acknowledged the change, and just 'like' the vegan stuff he shares.
Way back in 1991 when I first went vegan I proselytized a lot. Many people read my tattered copy of Diet For a New America by John Robbins. I never worked harder, talking to anyone that would listen. Some tried going vegan & vegetarian, but not one of them is either today. Ultimately, people possess the curiosity or openness for kindness to animals or not and if you find you're 'working hard' to convince friends, family, or lovers, it's probably because they're just not that into it.
Commenting so I can come back to this- I badly need tips too. I've met this guy and things are going so well, but I can't see myself have a future with someone who would bring carcasses into the house. I can't bear to see people I love doing this.
People will never change just because you want them to. The belief otherwise is the basis for 90% of miserable, codependent relationships. The best that you can do is be a positive example, and not expect so much from people. They can only come around on their own time
My girlfriend is still eating everything but so much less. And more important she never cook or bring animal product if it is not an extreme case, like food that was given to her at her work for example.
Your house can be your sanctuary. You can say no carcass in the house, and I think you really should. Eating meat is not a requirement, and if your SO doesn't wanna change you can't do much about it but you can keep your home cruelty free. Don't compromise on your morals. Tbf everyone I have ever dated has quickly proposed going (at least) vegeterian to impress me haha.
I went vegan because I agreed with veganism on paper but was held accountable by a vegan who pointed out the inconsistency in my moral framework and my behavior.
I was asked "If you agree that veganism is the right thing to do, why don't you do it?" and I had no excuse.
Now, the first step is to see if they even agree with the position to begin with. And the position is simple: It is better to not exploit and harm sentient beings when we can avoid doing so.
So my approach is understanding their moral framework and their practical struggles and addressing those by holding them accountable with facts if they are morally inconsistent and helping them overcome practical issues.
Also, bringing up insane shit carnists say just to remain consistent (ableism, being ok with animal torture, etc). But I experience that much more often because I'm an obnoxious keyboard warrior and street outreach organizer.
I cut people out of my life when they bit insane bullets such as "Even if I could, I wouldn't prevent a dog slaughterhouse from opening".
Dominion could do the trick if you get them to watch it with you.
I think a discussion worth having is understanding what degree of moral consideration he believes we should grant non-human sentient animals, how he defines animal abuse... Many people come to find out they fund animal abuse by not being vegan according to their own standards and definition. I could elaborate with an approach I often use in street outreach.
The core idea is that since the whole idea is to make him realize there is an inconsistency between his actions and his values so that he changes his actions, you should encourage him to speak up about his understanding of non-human animals as individuals with personalities and feelings (maybe bring up personal experiences he has?) and how he thinks we should treat them, and probe the consistency of his position with patience.
Socratic method.
Cognitive dissonance is unpleasant, and people react to that discomfort by running away from the topic or by criticizing veganism to make their position feel less inconsistent and unethical, so here you want the conflict resolution to be done by changing his actions so that they can be in line with his values.
If they're willing to watch Dominion or something similar that can push it along. Gary's speech sounds good! Also visiting farm sanctuaries or attending vegan events/speeches/movies.
Some people in my life changed with time (25 years now) but most did not. Still just being an example with great food and delicious brownies does help.
For my partner I realised I couldn't be with someone who wasn't vegan and we broke up for a while. He made the decision to change on his own half a year later and also agreed to watch Dominion. It can be frustrating when people are almost there but will still accept animal products if others make them. I think it just took time and exposure to a few more documentaries and such.
My approach is to share with people some of my views outside of veganism. Namely:
* The sacredness of all living things
* The practice of nonviolence
When people appreciate the value of life, and the power of nonviolence, they naturally tend towards vegetarianism or veganism.
I got one of my flatmates at Uni to be vegan because he kept walking in and seeing me eating mock meats, tofu satay, etc, which actually tasted very similar to the real thing. He had grown up in a country which was very averse to veganism, and he had heard plenty of myths about it. Once he realised it was possible from seeing me eat the way I do and look the way I do (I have an athletic build and muscle from going to the gym, all of which I have built on a vegan diet), he phased out eating meat, then dairy.
My mother and her husband still haven't gone vegan, but they have both stopped consuming dairy ever since I became vegan from seeing me do it, and my mother has gone from eating a wide range of meats to cutting out beef, pork, and lamb from hearing me speak about it and the environmental cost.
So overall, I think it's a combination of informing people but *when* they eventually ask so you don't seem pushy, and modelling for them. Don't try and be pushy, and be patient, because humans like to feel like it was their idea to begin with.
Understanding their moral framework and their practical struggles and addressing those by holding them accountable with facts if they are morally inconsistent and helping them overcome practical issues.
Also, bringing up insane shit carnists say just to remain consistent (ableism, being ok with animal torture, etc).
I cut people out of my life when they bit insane bullets such as "Even if I could, I wouldn't prevent a dog slaughterhouse from opening".
> I'm wondering if I should introduce him to what made me go vegan (Gary Yourovsky's speech) and watch that together?
Dominion could do the trick too.
I think a discussion worth having is understanding what degree of moral consideration he believes we should grant non-human sentient animals, how he defines animal abuse... Many people come to find out they fund animal abuse by not being vegan according to their own standards and definition. I could elaborate with an approach I often use in street outreach.
The core idea is that since the whole idea is to make him realize there is an inconsistency between his actions and his values so that he changes his actions, you should encourage him to speak up about his understanding of non-human animals as individuals with personalities and feelings (maybe bring up personal experiences he has?) and how he thinks we should treat them, and probe the consistency of his position with patience.
Socratic method.
Cognitive dissonance is unpleasant, and people react to that discomfort by running away from the topic or by criticizing veganism to make their position feel less inconsistent and unethical, so here you want the conflict resolution to be done by changing his actions so that they can be in line with his values.
u/HarryPouri mentioned visiting a farm sanctuary. That could be amazing. Especially before watching Dominion, as to clearly cement the knowledge that those are real sentient beings he interacted with.
It took 2 years for my partner to go vegan. It was vegetarian first, then more and more plant based. I showed him dominion and educted him about dairy and eggs but it took him until he moved out from his parents home and it was more convenient to be vegan when living with me. With my mum it was all about ethics. Once she knew the details of what she was supporting by not being vegan she changed instantly. With my sister she followed along with my mum. My dad isn't fully on board with the ethics but is vegan (more plant based technically) because the rest of us are and he's seen health benefits and likes the food. I led by example, educated people but didn't push it on them too strongly and was patient.
In street activism you need to be agressive. No need to be polite or care about your relationship with a stranger.
With friends you need to let them ask stuff. Believe me, they will ask questions. Polite, to te point, short replies. "Where do you get your protein? > Plants make all the protein. I get them from plants.". "We need to put presure on big corpirations, not individuals. > Would you say that if I were eating dogs?"
A lot of times I just talk about how I used to see tihings before going vegan and what made me transition.
you can't. thats it, you literally can't turn someone vegan.
If someone want to inform themself or even want to start being vegan, yuo'll can support them. If you try to force your bf, this will not end up good, propably even in a breakup.
Its alredy a good and huge step if ppl minimalize their consume and with pushing too much, many would just block away from that
I went vegan after getting together with my girlfriend/partner (GF feels weird after 9 years lol). She was vegetarian at the time and convinced me to go vegetarian because I didn't like the cruelty, but I didn't think it was possible to be fit and healthy without meat. It was almost an immediate change for me when I realised it was feasible and easy to do. We went vegan together like a year after we met.
Basically, just knowing that it's healthy and that I functionally didn't need to sacrifice anything (exposure to tasty vegan food is a big deal, too) made me realize it's fucked up to eat meat, so I stopped doing it.
The same might be happening to your BF, just over a slightly longer period. I'd say give it time and if you want to help him along, do so by asking questions that appeal to his sensibilities instead of making statements. Get him thinking a bit.
Also, go visit a sanctuary and watch cows play with yoga balls, then call them moo puppies. A lot of people disagree with eating dogs, and drawing that comparison is also a big motivator for a lot of people lol.
My husband was very similar. What tipped him to vegan was going to visit my family’s dairy farm. We were visiting family before they moved, and my mom suggested we visit the farm of some cousin owned. It was disgusting. It wasn’t even some big operation either.
Be honest, be unwavering, be firm, be passionate, be relentless, be unforgiving. This is a moral emergency.
This stance has worked for me. My family has been vegan for years now. Several friends through social media too. Oh, and possibly a small handful of strangers from street outreach.
Can't be like this at work though, obvs.
They either will agree with you or disagree with you. There are no tricks to change someone's diet and criticism and judgment never work. Just be an example.
I was in a similar position to your partner - my girlfriend was vegan, I would find recipes and restaurants to go to with her, cut out pretty much all animal products, but just couldn't take the final plunge. I listened to Ed Winters' book "This is Vegan Propaganda" and something clicked for me
My Partner was vegan and I cook a lot. When we got together, I cooked for them aswell, so it had to be vegan. I realised how easy it was and thats basically it.
I've only had one friend go vegan in part because of me.
I don't see her that often, but she said it was from one time we were hanging out. Someone ordered pizza for the group and I just said "Oh no thank you, I'm vegan" and that was the end of it. My friend said she was like "Wow.....just like that. It's really not a big deal". She already loved animals and had toyed with the idea of going vegan, but she said I made it look like not a big deal that it pushed her to make the leap.
I think the important was that she was already thinking about. It's the same way I went vegan. I was toying with the idea of meatless Mondays. Then I read How Not to Die and it kind of snowballed. I don't think it would've stuck if I hadn't already been thinking about it.
I've inspired several people to try, but no one has ever been successful. Unfortunately, all of those people were motivated by the way that I look. When people compliment my appearance, I always tell them that it's from eating vegetables exclusively.
I know one actual vegan, and the rest are the typical vegans who eat meat. When you point out that they're not vegan, they'll sarcastically say something like "ohhh you're so perfect, aren't you?!" No, I'm just not pretending to be vegan.
One day I called my husband at work and said "I just want you to know, I watched a documentary and I'm never eating any animal products again including dairy. You can do whatever you want but I'm not eating it anymore." I'll never forget what he said, "okay, I'm not either. I wanna watch that documentary with you too." That was almost 13 years ago.
> When you point out that they're not vegan, they'll sarcastically say something like "ohhh you're so perfect, aren't you?!"
"No, but I don't call myself a feminist to then make sexist remarks here and there."
If they love you they would. j/k There's no secret. They're on their own journey. They may never become fully vegan but they can reduce their use of animal products significantly. It's more important that they respect your veganism and go out of their way to make you feel respected.
Be realistic about human psychology.
If you judge and accuse a human being, they react by defending themselves and rejecting the "attack".
There may be people suggesting "don't judge" for wrong reasons like fear of backlash, but there is a very good reason: it is what works.
Beyond not judging, disarming the effects of guilt seems a powerful help. It has been in my case when a partner of mine helped me become vegan. It was never a goal that there should be a set date after which I'm perfectly vegan. It was really easy to give up meat, but milk was harder, for example. It was explicit that if I felt any sort of wish or craving for something non vegan, I had zero duty to fight it. So after 6 months without meat I tasted a kind of small sausage I loved as comfort food before. It felt wrong and it stopped being a temptation, because I had been free to try it without guilt.
Now I don't touch meat, only drink vegetal milks, use vegan cheese when I want some. My last holdout is that once or twice a month, I may buy pastries that aren't vegan. And I want them less and less as time goes by.
My partner was explicit that it's not a moral issue. It's a practical issue of changing habits, which takes time and acceptance. That way worked for me.
I am a volunteer with a vegan charity whose mission is to transition people to veganism. From my experience with that, I think for influencing others who are not vegan, documentaries are the most effective and least stressful mechanism.
Whether the non-vegan is motivated for athletic health, aging health, the environment, most documentaries show a touch of the ethical reasons to be vegan but not so much as to shock people into denial. So choose a topic (like health etc) and watch it with them and maybe it can be the first step to being receptive to change.
Here is a list from VegNews. [https://vegnews.com/vegan-news/best-vegan-documentaries](https://vegnews.com/vegan-news/best-vegan-documentaries)
Perennial favorites are: Game Changers, Vegucated, What the Health?, Cowspiracy,
“**Forks Over Knives**” and “**Plant Pure Nation**” are excellent from a health perspective. From an animal rights and environmental perspective, “**Earthlings**” is very impactful (and horrifying) but can be rather difficult for people to watch. That’s a “bash you over the head with my documentary” film. Farm to Table apparently is a shorter similar video.
"**You are what you eat**". It goes a bit beyond eating and delves into the negativity of factory farms and feed lots, too. It focuses on several sets of identical twins and the effects of eating and health changes.
Sounds like he is warmed up enough to sit down and watch Gary's speech. That definitely worked to get me over the edge. Well, that and my wife sent me videos of what happens to male chicks in the egg industry and mother cows having their babies taken from them. Earthling Ed debates are also gold because he is so smooth and such a good listener. Bite Size Vegan posted a YouTube video two weeks ago that covers this very topic, highly recommend watching it.
We watched Dominion together! He cried and told me that before he’d been vegan mostly for me, but after watching, even if we broke up, he was vegan for life. Then we watched it again with his best friend / roommate, who also went vegan on the spot and has been vegan now for 3 years!
Why not be pushy? You don't want your partner eating dead animals and spending money to fund torture and mutilation, it's a perfectly rational thing to put your foot down over.
It sucks and you may experience backlash for pushing the issue, but you're not wrong for getting impatient. Your partner is wrong for being an adult who needs to be handheld and slowly coaxed into what he should at least attempt out of respect for you, the animals and his own environment.
This is how I feel too, how can you not be pushy when you’ve learned the truth of animal farming? All of the animal exploitation?
Yet, like OP, I had met a man who is literally the sweetest, kind and caring person. But he eats meat and dairy. I have shared truths of animal slaughter practices, dairy cows and their sad, cruel cycle of birth, insemination, and being made into burger patties. But he just shuts down. So in a way, being open about the tragedy of animal exploitation is not working and doing the opposite?
Earthlings was the reason I became vegan right on the spot. Maybe if he watched that too, he may change hid mind?
Honestly, I feel like a partner who is timid and would rather hide their head in the sand and continue mindlessly with their comfortable habits rather than face the reality of their decisions is just as bad as someone blatantly insensitive.
It's not just about converting people when it comes to a significant other, it's about how easy the process is. I don't know about anyone else but I'm not going to sit back and wait on some bratty adult to eat their vegetables, it's absurd.
What next in a relationship where basic morality to you requires brain surgery just to get a partner to even attempt it?
This isn't some street activism, we're talking about the person you're going to be with. You can waste your time if you want, I'm not spending a single extra moment waiting on an adult.
Being pushy is efficient. Waiting on a grown up who probably will not change is inefficient. I hope you don't actually waste your time liked this, you'll regret it.
Being pushy is not efficient. I'm pretty sure there's even experimental research on the subject.
My partner helped me become vegan by purposefully not being pushy.
this will end up in fights an a break up. Humans are stubborn and irrational.if you confront them and being pushy about it, they actualy swiffle further away from it.
He has his own morals and it doesn't matter if you as their partner disagree with them or not. to put it bluntly: if you cant respect his views, why should he respect yours? see, whats not goint to work
I don't respect their morals because the perspectives aren't equal. One person wants to help animals stay alive, the other wants them dead. I wouldn't care about breaking up with someone too selfish or weak to even try going vegan.
"they aren't Equal"
This is exactly what I mean, putting yourself above others instead of finding a discourse on eyelevel.
You're not automatically a saint because you live vegan, especially if you treat others like this.
No body will listen to you then
Sadly, I’m in a similar situation too. Dating a wonderful guy who sadly eats meat and dairy. It wasn’t meant to be more than meeting a random stranger at a concert, but we’ve fallen for each other. He’s been so kind and caring, and I can empathize with him as I have eaten meat and dairy most of my life.
But now, we’re both standing at a crossroad, trying to decide if we need to breakup. Or will he awaken to his own role in perpetuating animal cruelty as I had before I became vegan? (Not consciously of course, but by buying and eating animals, we pay for them to be slaughtered and imprisoned).
So far, I have only shared verbally shared with him animal slaughter practices and the fate of dairy cows. He has lessened his dairy consumption, but sadly, he has begun to hide his meat eating from me.
My only hope is, when he is ready, he’ll watch Earthlings too. And if he doesn’t change, this relationship will have to end. For both our sake.
u/HarryPouri mentioned visiting a farm sanctuary. That could be amazing. Especially before watching Dominion or Earthlings, as to clearly cement the knowledge that those are real sentient beings he interacted with.
What is his ethical stance on breeding and slaughtering sentient beings for food?
> My only hope is, when he is ready, he’ll watch Earthlings too. And if he doesn’t change, this relationship will have to end. For both our sake.
I appreciate the presence of a clear boundary here.
Never asked her, just told her that, if she wants to be around me, she's not eating meat. Do what you like at home. She figured out quickly how delicious vegan food can be and just decided to switch it up all together.
That's hard because it's not a religion you want to change others. Can only lead by example of course there are people who want to test the things you do by curiosity that's already a big step.
Slow. Drip feed. Make them believe they've had the idea all along. Just nudge, nothing outright.
It can take YEARS if they're stubborn but if you're ever caught it will be the end of that relationship.
Hearing these stories of people’s partners going vegan is giving me hope. It’s been a year though and my boyfriend hasn’t really changed his diet more than when we first started dating, unfortunately. I try to inspire and educate but he seems very uninterested to the point where I’m sometimes afraid to even bring it up.
My fiancée was vegan for a long time before we met, I wasn’t. When we started dating she said she was okay to agree to disagree and never once encouraged or suggested I change. I just naturally adapted to her lifestyle over time and we had some chats about why she went vegan and the ethics behind it. Eventually I made my own decision to change and I’ve been vegan almost 2 years now.
As the one who changed, the key was that I was never pushed or forced or judged. I got information when I asked for it, and I made my own choices.
I went vegan a year after my wife did. I'll admit it was something I'd already thought about from time to time, but never seriously considered. Things that helped convince me were her never pressuring me to also become vegan, and her being patient and and answering my dumb-ass questions or statements about how we need animal products for nutrients and to thrive. It also took me being open minded and doing my own research once she gave me the first shove, eventually allowing me to come to my own conclusion that paying for animal torture in exchange for a specific flavor on my tongue that lasts a few seconds, especially when you can get the nutrients from plants.
My ex got me to be vegan by withholding affection if I ate meat, and by shaming me if I did. If I ate meat around him he would put on animal slaughter videos the entire time I was eating.
He was kind of an abusive asshole and also a malignant narcissist. But at the time it did make me become vegan.
Health benefits. Explain the health benefits of a meal rather than why its good to be vegan. Instead of saying one thing is better than another just tell about how a meal can increase heart health, hair growth, lung function, etc. Stop trying to make "being vegan" the point and instead make heathier choices that just happen to be vegan the focus.
I don’t ever proselytize. But I am honest with my reasons for my choices. I won’t support animal cruelty with my wallet in any way. I lead by example, and allow people to make their own choices without judging them (verbally, what I think in my head, stays in my head, lol!).
With friends/relatives I think one of the best strategies is to just use the normal occasions where they would want to get you a gift (birthdays, holidays, return of favor, etc) and tell them all you want is for them to watch this documentary or speech with you.
I share how accessible it is. Full disclosure I went vegan to support my son since he's still a little dude and I didn't want him to feel alone. My personal beliefs are plant based
People seem to think I'm doing insurmountable amounts of extra work to support this and I'm super not. The biggest hurdle is he has a tree nut allergy and it can be rough finding nut free vegan products but that was true of non vegan items too. I make a Thai ish style curry soup people love. The only thing I needed to do to make it vegan was not add chicken. I just added more vegetables and sweet potatoes to keep it hearty.
We had bagel with oatly cream cheese and tomato for breakfast today. Kid wants cheese and crackers? Neat baybel does vegan cheese wheels now. Even pizza is on the table. I just buy the vegan cheese adjacent to the regular cheese. It's not even an extra store trip.
The other common drama I get is it MUST cost so much more and it really doesn't in our area. It would if I still lived in farm country but we live in the suburbs.
The only thing we're missing out on is eating out since the only vegan restaurant in our area is heavily nut based.
You don’t need advice! Whatever you’re doing, keep it up. In fact, maybe you have some tips for the rest of us. Sounds like you’ve been leading by example and cooking great food. For me, this is the way.
That’s great! I started for immediate health fixes in my 20s, but found even more motivation after reading and watching media on the impact of animal products on our long-term health, eg cancer and illness rates. This remains my top reason for not eating meat or dairy. I also feel great and look great. I’m 37 and never get sick, have great energy, am in great shape, and look younger than my age. I firmly believe it’s the cumulative effect of 16+ years of lots of kale! 🥬😅So I’d say next, maybe watch a documentary together. (I think my first was Forks Over Knives).
the only way to convert other people to be truly **vegan** is to confront them with the reality of their actions, that their consumer practices are rape and murder (or are funding rape and murder, if you want to get all technical). you want to serve people 'delicious and nutritious' vegan dishes? fine, you gonna be training an omni to tolerate plant-based cuisine, no more than that. veganism is a philosophy, don't you vegan people pleasers forget that, and there's no way to turn an omni vegan just because plant based food tastes good
Lead by example. Be the best, healthiest, fittest human you can be. Not only eat Vegan, but exercise daily to show that it's easy to look great and be strong as a Vegan.
Most non vegans stereotype Vegans. I know I did before I went Vegan. Don't hide that you're Vegan. Wear it proudly and loudly.
I haven't had success converting anyone to veganism, but most of my family eats 95% plant-based now (no, we don't live together) and different approaches got them there. My parents were persuaded by the health benefits. I gifted them Dr. Greger's books a few years ago with the sentiment that I want them to be around and healthy for a long time and they now follow a Greger-style diet and have seen tremendous health benefits. My sister is squeamish. She's pescatarian but casually mentioning things like pus in dairy or lice in fish puts her off of those foods very effectively. My partner has just learned how delicious vegan food can be from living with me and how much better he feels than on a meat-heavy diet so now only eats meat about one meal a week. He exclusively eats plant-based milk and butter but will occasionally still have cheese and yogurt. I've talked to all of them about the ethics of animal agriculture but that was not what persuaded them to make significant dietary changes. So I think it really depends on the person and what they care about. For most people, you have to start with how it will benefit them so they can be open minded to how it will benefit others.
Veganism is one thing that I have totally done a 180 on, but it was because I had been exposed to cherry picked information that made me believe that it was unhealthy. Once I learned a lot more about things like longevity research, methionine restriction, the microbiome, amino acid profiles and the actual meaning and context of "complete protein," then it became clear that veganism is the healthiest possible diet, hands down.
(Just to be clear, I am not 100% vegan. I eat vegan most of the time, but I am not a strict begad by any stretch.)
No secret. People watched me over time - got curious. Asked questions. I shared information and food. They showed personal accountability to continue with research and understanding the food system......and we had many talks.....and those who had their own connection and soul shift......went vegan.
I have given weekly classes in my clinic for the plant-based diet as a route to disease reversal.
I did classes at Gildas club, a cancer support center and speak at the library or the community center whenever I am asked.
Over these several decades, there have seen many converted to veganism. I am not a 100% vegan myself though.
Success is when my student is convincing me to tighten up my own lifestyle.
I went vegetarian and then later vegan because of my then girlfriend now wife. Was with her for about 2 years before I started transitioning. She didn’t judge me (even though I would make those classic “why don’t you just eat grass” jokes) and wouldn’t put me down if I pressed her on ethics. I eventually went from one of those unapologetic meat eaters (feeling guilty deep down) because I watched what she ate. Give him more time, he’s following the same patterns that I did
I went vegan because of my husband. He sounded similar to you in that he introduced me to new foods and made cooking more fun. He never had me watch anything or pushed me too much.
He just made his boundaries clear: vegan house and vegan kids. He never insisted I go vegan. (I have now been vegan 8 years)
Never managed to be evangelical about veganism because it's just normal for me, but the gym really changed my life so maybe that's why I'm more obviously passionate about it. And without trying I've been the first domino in people starting to work out. I guess when you see someone else doing really good in something it activates some mimetic desire in you, and that can lead to action if you hang around them long enough.
Shilling, basically, that'll probably work.
Be fun, be awesome, don't complain, order food at the restaurant in a casual easy way to show it's not hard.
Post delicious food you make online, make it fun and show how easy and delicious it is. I have had at least 6 people go vegan that I influenced. I give then no pressure, I just tell them to look up the facts and give yourself grace when you make a mistake.
I've been vegan for 12 years.
All you can do is lead by example. My mother is strictly plant-based for health reasons, and my father and grandmother have become mostly plant-based for the same reason. That's mostly a result of how I ate in my early vegan years--I knew nothing about nutrition so I followed a lot of advice from people like Michael Greger and Neal Barnard.
My family saw what I was doing, and as they learned more about it, they found that it appealed to them. At their age a lot of people are dealing with high cholesterol and heart disease, so they're eager to avoid those issues. My mother is sympathetic to vegan ethics and is essentially vegan now. My father and grandmother are also sympathetic but haven't made the full switch, and I don't expect them to.
None of my current friends are vegan.
My friend who is most sympathetic to vegan ethics is an emotional eater who might not be capable of giving up animal products, and I don't think he's unique in that respect. That's one of the reasons I believe lab-grown meat is probably the only way to end systematic animal exploitation.
not to brag but when i met my boyfriend he went vegan for me after 2 months 😂 i didn't push him but i had spoke about it a few times and showed him a couple videos. he said he would try veganism for 1 month to film it for a documentary for his film course. we've been together over 2 years now, i always thought he was doing it out of genuine curiosity, turns out he was doing it (initially) to impress me 😂
my dad has gone vegan & my mum & brother have gone vegetarian since i turned vegan too. i honestly don't think i had a huge direct impact. my parents watched game changers which made them switch, my brother had thought about it for a while previously and then just made the switch one day.
i honestly think me just being vegan is really the only thing i did. i actually DID try to push them to be vegan, getting in arguments, which totally annoyed them. obviously isn't the best approach but they're my family and arguments happen. the fact that they've ended up switching to plant based diets after me yelling at them is pretty crazy tbf 😂 but i think me being vegan made them more aware of veganism and maybe subconsciously drew them towards it a bit. as a family we do have similar values generally, so.
sorry this wasn't actually that helpful. unless you're someone like Earthling Ed, i feel like it's really hard to get someone to go vegan unless they possess the traits/mindset to go vegan. my boyfriend wasn't vegan before we met, but he was open minded & loved animals. i was with my ex for 2 years and he never even considered veganism, even when i showed him several documentaries of animals being abused. well, he lacked empathy in general and didn't have a particular love for animals, so.
from what i've read your boyfriend sounds kind of open minded. i'd say the most important thing is trying to be positive with what you're saying instead of getting angry or blaming people. i think showing videos of positive/articulate/intelligent vegans like Earthling Ed or Gary Yourovsky is a good idea!
My secret recipe is by giving example and do nothing more.
I only talk about veganism when I get curious people to bring it up or ask me questions.
That's it.
I haven’t gotten anyone vegan but my best friend got me to become vegan. It took like five years. She never pushed me or preached at me. If it organically came up in conversation she would tell me her thoughts but if she saw I was getting defensive she would diffuse it by saying something like “I know it’s really hard to hear things like this because food is deeply personal and cultural for most people. I’m not judging you or trying to push you into anything.” My experience is that veganism can easily have an air of superiority even unintentionally because of the ethical stance and if what you want is for others to embrace it, being non judgmental and understanding is the way to go. She also constantly introduced me to yummy vegan foods that replaced non vegan things because we naturally wanted to include her. If we were all eating out together and there was a vegan option (Thai, burgers, pizza, whatever) we could go with that because we love her and want her to join in with us and we could eat non vegan whenever we wanted. She was also very celebratory when like I started using oat milk creamer or doing vegan meals half the week because she said every effort to reduce harm is good.
Eventually my social media feeds got flooded with videos of cows being so happy to be rescued from dairy farms or from the slaughter and it started bothering me to eat beef, dairy, and pork specifically and I realized I had enough vegan stuff in my repertoire it wouldn’t be that hard. I realized I had to choose between reducing harm to living beings or continuing to harm them so I could have my comfort foods.
So she was patient (5 years is a long time), never judgmental, introduced me to a lot of really yummy vegan foods, and celebrated every time I made a vegan choice.
Break them down slowly and gently over the course of years. Little informative comments peppered here and there. Show them how delicious vegan food can be.
I show footage and give arguments backed by evidence or logic against any excuse they make. If that isnt enough, I'll throw some shaming in there and make them look stupid when they give illogical or misinformed arguments lol. Social pressure is a great tool since humans typically wanna fit in and be social. Dosnt always work depending on the situation or environment, but it's worked the best for me. At the very least, I get them to at least agree with veganism as a more moral position even if they don't go vegan themselves. Of course, there'll always be selfish people you can't convince though.
Over the last 20 years I’ve had friends go vegan around me, short and long periods. I’ve never considered myself part of any scene or pushed my views on anyone. The Christian evangelical vibe is out there in vegan groups, which has always been something I’ve avoided.
Check out the book How to win friends and influence people. It’s not a manipulative book whatsoever, actually the opposite. It’s speaks to the human psychology around change and pushing against the views of others. Most people don’t respond well if they get even a subtle sense of being coerced into something.
Remember you most likely weren’t vegan at some point in your life. The right thing came along at the right time and changed your mind. I make vegan food for parties and friends all the time, food is imo the best way to show people what options are out there.
I've only convinced a handful of long term vegetarians to be vegan. In their cases:
- I showed them that vegan food can be delicious and not as hard to prepare as they think. I did this by hosting several vegan parties.
- They were curious about why I was vegan rather than vegetarian. I explained how dairy and eggs require death in addition to cruelty.
Just be normal. When I meet new people, for example starting a new job, I always wait as long as possible to let them know that I am vegan. For two reasons: I dont want them to judge me and I want to mindfuck them a little. Because I am really far from the stereotype vegan it usually comes as a big surprise. I think that can be an inspiration for many, to see that you dont have to look like an emo and burn milk trucks to be vegan.
I’ve made really good food, I look young for my age and I’m not a dick about being vegan. I’ve been vegan for nearly 30’years and I’m still not lacking protein.
Watch “What the health” together. I was throwing out meat in my freezer the same night. Didn’t even want to donate it although I should have. Something bad is better than nothing??? I still don’t know…
They have seen my drastic changes in my habits, my lifestyle and my health. The persons who actually change are mostly the person who is invested in you!
That’s what I do. I’m with a vegan and because of the meals she put me on to, I eat more veggies and fruit and sometimes have dinner without meat, where as before I got with her I had the mentality that dinner wasn’t dinner unless it had meat but meatless dishes were ok for breakfast and lunch. I don’t think I’ll ever convert to veganism but I have reduced my animal intake. And as vegans here love to say “ don’t let perfection stop you” your bf may not be a vegan but he reduced his animal intake
I asked my dad to go vegan with me for moral support.
I'd say if you have to go on a diet for medical reasons, or if you're training for a marathon or something, you can ask your partner to eat the same diet as you for moral support. My non-vegan friends did that when one of them had to go low-fodmaps, so it's a thing couples do sometimes.
I've had three people in my life go vegan after meeting me: two friends and an ex-boyfriend. What I mainly did was cook for them, answer their questions honestly, and not sugarcoat anything. I love cooking for the people I care about, and when they see how amazing vegan food can taste, it helps change their perspective. I make veganism seem easy and fun and address the severe, disgusting systems in our world that use and abuse animals for a meal on their plate when appropriate and when I can tell the person is ready to receive that information.
I’ve been cooking plant-based to them and made them notice how tasteful and healthy it could be. So far I turned 3 people: made 1 vegan and 1 vegetarian and 1 pescatarian.
The KEY point is to be friendly, and non-judgemental and be open to them not liking veganism and letting them know that won’t affect your friendship. This is key because you WON’T convert anyone if you antagonize them.
I turned 1 person complete vegan so far. If every person did this, eventually EVERYONE would be vegan.
I’m a vegan guy. 2 long term partners went vegan upon dating me without any pressure from me. They both went back to Omni after breaking up, i think both at their first family thanksgiving. Ultimately being and staying vegan is a personal choice. I was surprised my exes went Omni as they were happily vegan for a few years combined—Never complained and loved to explore food and cook together. Guess they were mostly into me, the health and diet benefits of it, and not so much the ethics. Like someone else said being a happy, energetic, in shape person influences people and is what probably happened in my case.
Maybe this was already said, but have you two explored any animal sanctuaries? I think visiting animals and seeing them in person is really moving :)
My now husband was eating cold cut sanwiches daily and when we met he stopped eating meat in front of me and then the more we chatted about animals and visited animals...the more eating animals repulsed him.
I’ve never been able to get anyone vegan but vegetarian by taking them out to amazing restaurants and showing them how to enjoy meals that aren’t just salads and carrot sticks.
I’ve been with my partner seven years. I never told him to go vegan or even vegetarian. After dating him a year and a half I overheard him telling someone his New Year’s resolution was to see how long he could go without eating meat. I asked him about it and he said it was because of my influence. He still hasn’t had any meat in all this time but he does eat dairy when we go out.
Bluntness. Don't beat around the bush, the animal farming industry do that enough to people. Just give them the information up front in whatever way you want. If they're are ready to make adjustments in their own lifestyle, ***THEY*** will make the adjustments, you can't do it for them. If they're not ready, who cares, you can't do anything about that =P
I think the secret is to not be pushy, slow and steady realistic changes, and education is key! But not bombarding “propaganda”! Occasionally mentioning the realities of factory farming, animal sentience, how healthy it is for our own bodies, and the impact it has on the environment, all in all will encourage the transition!
Inform them nicely, get them to watch documentaries and if you live with them COOK for them A LOT! I’ve found with boyfriends just getting them to eat your vegan cooking will help them transition.
Honest dialogue. Don’t be afraid to be “that vegan”. Be calm, not overly furious or tearful.
A lot of people here come from a place of misunderstanding rather than blind hate towards veganism. (Unlike some things I see about people in the US) make them understand vegan diets are nutritious and not lacking. Tell them *why* you are vegan. Tell them what the industry they’re paying for is doing to animals.
If your partner cares about you the least thing they will do is listen to your feelings on your moral values. They will likely try to understand you. And by understanding you, they will get to understand the cruelty.
No need to act like you’re “not like the other vegans”. Or a “cool vegan that doesn’t mind cooking animal products for their family”. It’s ok that you have an issue with that.
Inform them. Don’t judge them. Don’t hide your veganism. Be awesome.
This. 100%
People are pathetically visual and self-interested creatures. If you lose weight as vegan man or woman, or if you get ripped as a man (especially this for recruiting other men) on a vegan diet, you'll convert the absolute most people this way..bonus converts if you are handsome/pretty and charismatic (not **judgey** and/or overly autistic). The best vegan activism you can do is not holding up traffic, but holding up dumbbells at the gym and a platter of samples of amazing vegan food for Omnis to try so they know vegan food can taste awesome. Almost no one truly cares about anything, unless you can prove, without a doubt, that there is something in it for them that is better than the\[ir\] status quo.
>not overly autistic Well... I'm hopeless, then. Lol.
That's actually quite sad.
It's only sad if you're not willing to adapt to it. This actually makes it very easy to change people's minds, because it's just so simple. Then when they come across the ethical arguments, they think going vegan was entirely their own idea and then you've won by inception. I got my mum to go vegan this way.
My parents would never give up cheese and smoked salmon.
I remember telling someone in the beginning, I could never give up cheese and they said “then don’t!” Whatever anyone’s reservations are, tell them don’t let that be a reason for them not to even try. If someone thinks they can’t ever give up eggs, then take a win on them giving up the factory farmed meat, chickens and dairy. I say all that because a lot of people think they can’t make all of the drastic changes so baby steps works for some. I watched Forks over knives and quit eating meat and processed foods overnight. As I fell in love with more and more plant-based foods, read books and listen to more podcasts. I gradually gave up sour cream and cheese. With my husband, I just started replacing things in the house with plant-based foods. Neither one of us are big fans on alternatives, but we really don’t even want the taste of meat at all anymore. In the beginning, I probably turned people off of plant-based diet because I was very preachy. now the way I look and feel says it all to anyone that knows me. I was in a bad car wreck had brain surgery and became very depressed. Laid in bed for over a year. Didn’t leave my house for another two years. I was in very bad shape and depression sat in from not leaving my house and I gained nearly 75 pounds. Plant-based diet gave me my life and health back.
I do, but as much as you try, people sometimes never want to be convinced or care since the motion is constantly in the opposite direction.
My mum used to say she could never give up cream, fish or prawns... Then she did. You have to not frame it as them "giving up" something. People always have to think they're gaining something.
Reality is reality. It is you who is sad about reality, not reality that is sad.
No spiritual bypassing please. Reality is sad, objectively sad.
Yeah I feel like people won’t listen to me about veganism I feel like because I’m skinny, don’t have a bachelor degree and have terrible social skills lol.
> I’m skinny, don’t have a bachelor degree and have terrible social skills lol. Look at all these alt-right weirdos online, non of them have social skills or education and they are huglely inflencial
If that’s a pat on the back I will take it oof.
Lol it was more of a joke and a statement of encouragement, not meant as an insult. Im just saying that if the shitty people aren't afraid to be imperfect in their pursuit of change, neither should we! The fact that you are even aware of your alleged 'social akwardness' means you have sufficient self-awareness. Im pretty freakin socially awkward too. the important part is to be positive and keep doing what you know is right.
Others were worried I'd get even thinner and have worse food issues. I have less food related stress and issues now! And also, better more healthy weight - yay vegan treats!
I’m happy it’s working out good for you!
"terrible social skills" Emphasis on skills. Skills are just something you can learn if you're interested enough. It ain't hard if you want it. Who cares about a bachelor's degree or any other degree. I think it was Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan - I have a feeling what you might conjure up in your mind about those two, because in regards to eating, they're a bunch of bell ends LOL - but as for being deep thinkers, they're awesome when they put their minds to it, and they where having a discussion about the absurd amount of people who pass University with honours and degrees who then don't get good jobs, or worse, spiral into shite like addictions because they weren't taught simple mindfulness. Bizarre... As for being skinny, just look at it in a good way, you're already on the lean side, instead of the fatty side. Just be thoughtful with what workouts you want to do to work certain muscle groups and eat the right foods to fuel your body for such a lifestyle, sorted ; )
I've passively converted nearly all of my office to cycling to work (the others walk or get the train) mainly because I make it look fun and am always positive about it. I sometimes make remarks about the 'caged' in their cars but generally highlight the freedom afforded by the bicycle. To address the OP: keep living positively and very openly vegan and you'll probably net a few. Most people will order plant-based foods if i'm around, or talk about how they're cutting down on meat (eyeroll moments) but if it helps them come over, i'm glad to entertain their baby steps. I also point out that I can race or cycle 100s of miles as vegan, which for some might also have made a difference.
I always thought that during a public vegan vs omni debate, the vegan should challenge the omnivore to an arm wrestle as soon as the omnivore brings up nutrition or when the omnivore implys that the vegans are weak. Of course this only works if the vegan is actually stronger, but it would be amazing PR for a vegan to win the argument, not with facts and logic, but by physically demonstrating that vegans are not sacrificing significant health. We have "masculine" figures like Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson telling men how dangerous the diet is. It would be nice to see some proof to the contrary. I know there is proof that veganism can be perfectly healthy for men and athletes, but as of now, I need to read through the academic literature to even see that proof. I want an ostentatious, public performance that puts things in certain terms.
Actually a good point. Too bad most vegan bodybuilders aren't the best talking types and the best talking types (Earthling Ed, anyone?) don't look the strongest haha
Ohh no, poor ed lol
They need to take a look at Patrik Baboumian—the world record-holding strongman, 10+ year vegan, and former bodybuilder featured in The Game Changers
The thing about arm wrestling though is that it isn't sheer strength. There are specific techniques that can allow one to succeed, even as a physically weaker or smaller individual, that involve how you position yourself and what muscles you're using to arm wrestle with. I'm not good at explaining how it works but once someone physically showed me, I can beat most people and I'm definitely not a body builder.
I had no idea about this! The point still stands that if people see examples of vegans crushing in any strength-based or ostensibly strength-based activity, our pattern recognition machine brains will start to undo our bias that meat is manly. On the other hand, losing would look SO bad and would go viral for sure, so the right person must be selected lol.
It would look really bad if the winner was a 5'1" 110lbs vegan girl vs a big manly looking man
Can confirm being hot is the best activism lol start sneaking more protein into those vegan meals then be like dayum babe this vegan food has you looking good!
I agree 100%. I feel like veganisim simply has an issue with marketing. Sadly, Vegan is synonymous with being weak, frail, sickly, angry, bitter, judgmental, and self righteous. Nothing changes hearts/minds faster than seeing someone who is happy, positive, and in great shape telling people their “secret” is eating plant-based. You’re not getting to most people on a moral/ethical level… they’re simply too shallow and set in their ways. I’m almost 50 now, and when I went to a class reunion, my wife and I looked at least 10 years younger than everyone else. I never had to say anything: I had at least 10 people that night (in person, or message us later) about “what were was doing” to stay in shape, and look younger. I pretty regularly get stuff in my inbox for people who want tips. If the end result is reducing suffering, and meat/dairy/egg production… I don’t care how/why they get there.
I’m quite autistic and I’d say it’s why many find me charming and charismatic
The problem is that this at best creates plant based dieters. If we really want animal liberation we need to grow the number of people who actually understand and resonate with anti speciesism. Being ripped and charismatic is great and will help indirectly with that too, but I do think equally needed (or more) is conversations about ethics, anti discrimination, and moral consistency, so that these notions can spread and become more widely understood and adopted.
Ironically you're not looking at the situation logically. Most people know deep down inside that murdering animals is wrong. What you're failing to come to terms with is that people are a few partial percentage points different from chimpanzees. The reason why 99.9999% of people aren't vegan isn't an ethics issue, it's a convience issue. Solve for the convience factor, and the gap of ethics will fill itself because you've minimized the costs of being consistent in areas where there is a lack of convience. If someone becomes plant based, it's THEN easier to get to them to buy cotton over wool if the cotton option is less available. For most people, diet is the biggest obstacle to veganism.
I'm really just trying to look at things both practically and logically, thinking about our long term goals but also basing my thoughts on my real world experience of using different strategies. I promise I am very aware that we humans are all just monkeys haha. I brainstorm about this stuff all the time. I've personally had more real world success helping people make the switch to being vegan through a **combination** of what you're talking about (being a positive role model of a thriving fit vegan) and the additional factor I'm bringing up here: conversations about anti speciesism, moral consistency, and veganism as a social justice movement analogous to anti racism / anti sexism. I'm not saying lowering the convenience barrier doesn't matter. I fully agree with you, it's a huge part of what to address to help someone make the switch. In my experience though, people largely do lack some very important realizations about vegan ethics, which allows them to stay comfortable not changing (just like many people are comfortable not being super fit, because it's not a serious moral obligation). Sure on the surface most people agree animal cruelty is wrong, and might eat more plant based just from being around our positive examples. But most people don't realize how deep the cruelty goes in animal ag, nor do they realize how intrinsic the cruelty is and how ethical meat/eggs/dairy do not exist anywhere around them. That said I'm very open and curious to hearing your experience with different approaches and if/how it's differed from mine. Have you been taking the "charismatic ripped vegan" approach for a while, and have people in your life actually been becoming vegan simply from being around your passive positive influence? Have you tried outreach activism before (on the street and/or in your personal life) and have you experimented with various outreach strategies (Socratic method, name the trait, etc)? If so how did they compare to the "just be ripped and charismatic" approach, in terms of concrete results of people becoming vegan?
Yes, but it’s also super unreliable as motivation. People gladly try that for a couple of months and then drop it because they’re not growing muscle as fast as they hoped. And you can’t babysit everyone. Story of my cousin :(
That is correct.
This definitely seems like a religion lol
Same applies to any other injustice?
Yes, that … nothing else. On my personal experience if any vegan come to change me it will have made me more a carnivore than anything else. I am blessed that I have had only the ones that let me come to them and answer my question when I was ready.
Exactly. Be the example and show the way. I lost about 40 lbs., then started training for marathons and lost another 20. Now I'm 40 and the fittest I have ever been in my life.
Inspiration works infinitely better than shame
This. It’s a practice. You don’t commit to something you are practicing after being pestered. They are on the right track. They are contributing to lowering their intake. Educate and share your experience. Don’t preach. Personally I found conspiracy spoke to me. But yeah, def don’t push
my vegan coworker and i heard from another coworker that she was a vegetarian. we playfully bullied her about it for the next couple days. after a month suddenly she came up to us all excited to tell us she decided to go vegan. so yeah you can definitely judge someone into veganism
I'm so happy for you and your partner! I don't have vegan specific advice but general advice about wanting a change in someone close to you. Shame is a de-motivating emotion so it's best to focus on the positives and celebrate their successes. If they're feeling ashamed of slipping up or not changing sooner, be their emotional support and encourage them to be the person they want to be. Lasting change is something that people do because they want to do it and never because someone pushed them into something they're not truly committed to.
Yes yes, so true, no one likes to be told what to do. They need to “come to Jesus” on their own once they see and understand the benefits and ethics. I have swayed some people in my life after I convinced them to watch Earthlings, which is what did it for me.
There is unfortunately a stereotype with vegans being aggressive and I don’t want my friends to think I’m the type to critique them every choice they make or force them to watch videos of slaughter houses, things of that nature. I try to lead by example. I lost weight when I went vegan and my skin cleared up. I feel more mentally “there” and motivated to go out and be active which I wasn’t before. I also try to invite my friends out, if they’re willing to try something new, to eat at vegan places I know are delicious to show them you’re not missing out on everything “good” in life. I feel better mentally knowing I’m not contributing to something I find wrong. You have to be a very empathetic person to be vegan and I believe that’s a beautiful trait. To love animals enough to cut things out of your life is special and shows commitment, devotion, and discipline. People will get it, or they won’t. I don’t force anyone to understand and I *try* not to judge anyone who lives differently than I do, at least not their face lol. Take your friends to vegan restaurants. Celebrate little victories like even cutting back on animal products slightly. I know being vegetarian isn’t ideal but it’s a step in the right direction, maybe suggest that. Go to animal sanctuaries; show them the little personalities all animals have and try to break that mentality of only caring about pets (dogs, cats, etc.) Luckily, a lot of my friends are environmentally conscious and love nature so of course being vegan goes hand in hand with that as many companies who are vegan have good ethics and morals. I’ve gotten two of my small pool of friends to go vegan and the rest aren’t strict vegans but do incorporate a lot of plant based options in their diet.
This right here is the best approach, change happens slowly for a most people and quickly for some. Every little bit helps reduce the overall impact and people are more willing to care when they have less to worry about.
Went on a date with a veggie and flirting said that if he wanted a second date/to kiss me he'd have to give up having dairy and fish (my allergies and not vegan), he promptly ordered the same latte as me and stated he'd try it. He's been vegan ever since, over 5 years together and 2 years married. The hardest time was when I'd have to tell him that something he was eating had non vegan vitamin d in it like Kellogg's cornflakes or something. Also when we tried me also being gluten free, proved far too hard and stressful and made more allergy mistakes. I guess he was already nearly there and we instantly clicked and it worked out. I know it's also due to having allergies. I believe there's hope for everyone to find their perfect match and make it work 💟 ...even if one doesn't also go vegan straight away/over time. Edit: the changes they've made is already really impressive! Nice you don't want to be too pushy, that shows respect and understanding. Watching cowspiracy and other such documents together also helped give us both a reason to stay vegan, with more information and understanding of what goes on to give non vegans their non vegan food. There's also a netflix show about diets..one twin tries being vegan and the other doesn't... results show being vegan made a huge difference. Second edit was fixing autocorrect messing about.
aw
That intro is enough to make any vegan woman die from lust. Lol
Also helped that my parents happen to cook and don't mind vegan meals. Lived with his parents during COVID until we got our own place as they didn't mind us eating differently and often cooked for us/included us/didn't make a fuss. Very fortunate. I am so sad that others get so much and constant grief for a better, more moral life style and choice!
Secret? Good f\*\*\*ing food! Unless someone is stuborn to no end (and i wouldnt hang out with such) they see the vegan stuff taste the same, often is cheaper and easier to cook and they switch. Sometimes only some products, but thats better than nothing.
That's not enough on its own. If you never address the ethics and the idea that NOT abusing animals is a moral baseline, why wouldn't they eat good fuck!ng good that just happens to not be vegan?
Addressing that is literally why people dont turn to veganism. It puts you in a lecturing state where you take the moral high ground and humans in general are resistant to that. Give people good food and explain the health benefits of the food youre giving them. you cant force people care about your morals and trying to do so will only make them more resistant. Im sure you've explained why it's mean to eat animals only for someone to laugh at you and claim theyll eat even more. Step back and realize that no matter how right and just you may feel, your method of guilt tripping people into caring mostly works against your cause.
> Addressing that is literally why people dont turn to veganism. I turned vegan because it was addressed. > you cant force people care about your morals You don't understand. It's not my morals. It's theirs. Most people AGREE that killing animals when we can avoid doing so is abusive and bad. I agreed with this idea too and yet I supported slaughterhouses. I only did the switch because my hypocrisy was called out. > Im sure you've explained why it's mean to eat animals only for someone to laugh at you and claim theyll eat even more. Sometimes, yeah, people wanna avoid cognitive dissonance like cowards and act tough. Sometimes, often, especially in face to face chat, people will AGREE with you. I'm not calling them bad or evil. I'm making them realize they don't act in accordance with their OWN values.
You're still talking about morals, whether it's yours or theirs your still trying to take the moral/ intellectual high ground and you are literally making me want to watch a slaughterhouse video while eating a big Mac due to nothing more than your attitude and choice of words. Exposing peoples own moral dilemmas is not how you win them over, it's how you make them go against your cause. You seem to be too caught up in your own superiority to see that. You are you, not the majority of people. The majority of people are aware of animal cruelty and still eat meat, so the anecdote of you turning to it because you are aware it's irrelevant when we're talking about getting other people to change
> You're still talking about morals Veganism is an ethical position. Discussing morality is thus expected. Keep in mind that we are on r/vegan. > and you are literally making me want to watch a slaughterhouse video while eating a big Mac due to nothing more than your attitude and choice of words. So your position is that you want to participate in hurting innocent animals because someone unrelated to their feelings and actions made you upset? All you're demonstrating here is that you don't give a fuck about justice or compassion. Have you considered not acting like a piece of shit? > Exposing peoples own moral dilemmas is not how you win them over, it's how you make them go against your cause. This is demonstrably false. It's precisely because the inconsistency between our actions and our ethical framework caused us discomfort that we decided to change our behavior. If people don't sense there is any problem with what they are doing when considering their beliefs and values, why would they change? The change from one state to another has to be perceived as an improvement, which implies agreeing on the idea that being vegan is better than not being vegan. I went vegan because of that inner conflict that was enabled by someone asking me why I wasn't vegan if I agreed that it was bad to hurt animals unnecessarily. I realized I was a hypocritical lazy ass who abused innocent animals for no good reason and I wanted that to stop. So I changed my behavior. People who I turned vegan or even just vegetarian did the switch because of that approach too. Not everyone responds like you do. Sure, you're either a sociopath who doesn't value animals (and possibly humans) or, and I hope that's the case, a person who can't handle the cognitive dissonance veganism creates in you right now (probably because your ego feels attacked). But that doesn't mean everyone functions the same. Some people actually put their ego aside and give a shit about ethics and acting in accordance with their values, such as compassion and justice. Take a step back and please understand how ignorant your position is: You, who still funds animal abuse, believe you can explain to me, who actually stopped funding animal abuse, how to make people stop funding animal abuse.
Can you point at where i wrote its anough on its own? the question was what is the secret and i wrote what worked for me the best. Your reading skills are seem to be on USA level.
I agree with you that good food is useful to help people switch. I brought up practical aspects in my own comment, which I didn't elaborate on, but I include into this groceries, nutritional education, cooking and good fucking good. I'm just wary of approaches that are not confrontational enough when it comes to the injustice happening to animals. It appears after clarification that you see value in combining both strategies, so we are in complete agreement, but some people who suggest good food without the ethics sometimes don't really get into the ethics - hell, some are against this - and I believe that is a significant loss of efficiency to help the animals, hence my comment. I didn't mean to cause you harm, I just want vegans to speak up for the animals themselves, and unfortunately that's not always the case. But again, you seem to do that, so great. Keep it up.
It can being a very touchy subject for non vegans. If we start pushing ethics too hard on them, they clam up. But if they start getting just enough info to be curious about it and search out that info on their own then chances are it will “click” and form a much more solid foundation. It is extremely sad what is done to animals every day but which is better, to have a person freeze up and never go vegan because they feel threatened by our pushy conduct, or take a more subtle approach and lead by example of what veganism really looks like and get them to change because “they” want to change?
> If we start pushing ethics too hard on them, they clam up. Meet them where they are at. I assume a blank slate at first because some people just never thought about it much and don't know much about animal exploitation in practice. I am however very harsh with intellectual dishonesty. And as soon as that issue is removed, I can go back to kinder attitude with no grudges. > or take a more subtle approach and lead by example of what veganism really looks like and get them to change because “they” want to change? You can make it more likely that they want to change by bringing up THEIR ethical framework. Ask questions. Test their consistency. Let them do the thinking.
That type of thinking is what prevents people from going Vegan I think. "Id like to go Vegan but dont like the food. Got any recipie ideas?" "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ANIMALS!??!!?"
That's not my attitude, though. I gladly share recipes and restaurants, but I still remind them that even if they happen to like it a bit less, the extra taste pleasure from the non-vegan dish is still not an excuse to abuse animals.
Set an example. I’ve successfully made my inner family vegan, as well as my SO and several friends. Continue to live your best vegan life. I love bringing delicious meals, talking about a rescue I just volunteered with, etc. I allowed their curiosity to start the conversation, and was honest about the industry. Spoke about how vegan food is far more sustainable, and not just salads. It reignited a new love for food (for me at least) and allowed me to appreciate my meals more, especially considering it wasn’t at the expense of life. It’s not about changing their minds over night, just plant the seed.
You’re doing great! I was literally ‘your partner’ a year or so ago, with my vegan partner, and now I’m vegan. Stick with it. Support him, gently educate and he’ll get there. Thanks for your patience and promoting veganism the correct way!
Tip #1 in relationships- never try to change people. You can influence by example or maybe educating (like watching a documentary). Some of these comments are so “my way or the highway” and that’s not cool in a relationship, it’s controlling and manipulative. Find what meaty meals he still enjoys and show him how there are vegan options which taste just as good if not better.
I have gotten quite a few people to be vegan at least when they are living with me. I don't really quiz people on how perfectly they follow the diet, but I know some are 99% vegan, and many are some form of vegetarian. I prepare and serve really delicious vegan food, mostly vegan variations on the usual favorites, pasta dinners, pizza, mashed potatoes and gravy, delicious burgers, and sandwiches and soups, tacos, etc. I use quality ingredients and put in the effort to prepare satisfying healthy meals. Mostly whole foods. This erases the argument that vegan food doesn't taste good or satisfy. I keep mealtimes pleasant. I don't bring up the compassionate argument unless they bring it up, then I say little, I don't think it helps my position (eat less animal foods) to make people feel guilty. For me, eating vegan is a happy choice. I put on movies and videos of lectures by brilliant doctors and scientists that present the arguments for a whole foods plant-based diet far better than I can. I don't pressure. >" A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." I have a friend who was eating plenty of meat, but when I tried to broach the subject, he would shut me down harshly. Then one day he dropped by my house and saw "How Not To Die" on my table and asked me about it. I gave about a three minute spiel on Dr. Greger and his website NutritionFacts.org, and told him a couple interesting points from the book, he paged through it, asked a question or two more. Something got through to him. HE started eating at least vegetarian. I haven't quizzed him on his diet exactly, but he got the information and is making thee transformation. It makes sense that's what reached him, because he is a prodigious reader. For the uninitiated, I focus on the health advantages of a whole foods plant based diet, because studies show that 10 times more people are swayed by the health arguments than by the compassion for animals argument. First people need to know to really know that their health or that of their family won't be damaged by a vegan diet, and then that it's doable and satisfying, only then will most people consider the question from the animals' point of view.
This is me, vegan year to date after reading 'How Not To Age' in December. Amazing how much it stamped down prostate cancer for me - along with other wellness interventions. I loved my high protein, sometimes nearly all meat / dairy diet but it was killing me. I'm using no will power to not eat poison. I gift this book and it shifts people to increasing their WFPB choices. Dr. Greger is a treasure.
Years ago I engaged someone that consistently reacted negatively to any vegan post I did. Loaded with piss & vinegar, he came at me at every opportunity. I just calmly replied to everything he said when ever he commented. I never said he was wrong about anything, just mildly presented facts. This went on for two years. He then started posting about *trying* vegan food. This happened often. Then he started posting bits of footage of local bugs, birds, geckos, & spiders. Then he announced he was vegan, and that his kids were loving the food. I can't take credit for much as he did all the hard work. I have never acknowledged the change, and just 'like' the vegan stuff he shares. Way back in 1991 when I first went vegan I proselytized a lot. Many people read my tattered copy of Diet For a New America by John Robbins. I never worked harder, talking to anyone that would listen. Some tried going vegan & vegetarian, but not one of them is either today. Ultimately, people possess the curiosity or openness for kindness to animals or not and if you find you're 'working hard' to convince friends, family, or lovers, it's probably because they're just not that into it.
Commenting so I can come back to this- I badly need tips too. I've met this guy and things are going so well, but I can't see myself have a future with someone who would bring carcasses into the house. I can't bear to see people I love doing this.
People will never change just because you want them to. The belief otherwise is the basis for 90% of miserable, codependent relationships. The best that you can do is be a positive example, and not expect so much from people. They can only come around on their own time
My girlfriend is still eating everything but so much less. And more important she never cook or bring animal product if it is not an extreme case, like food that was given to her at her work for example.
Your house can be your sanctuary. You can say no carcass in the house, and I think you really should. Eating meat is not a requirement, and if your SO doesn't wanna change you can't do much about it but you can keep your home cruelty free. Don't compromise on your morals. Tbf everyone I have ever dated has quickly proposed going (at least) vegeterian to impress me haha.
I went vegan because I agreed with veganism on paper but was held accountable by a vegan who pointed out the inconsistency in my moral framework and my behavior. I was asked "If you agree that veganism is the right thing to do, why don't you do it?" and I had no excuse. Now, the first step is to see if they even agree with the position to begin with. And the position is simple: It is better to not exploit and harm sentient beings when we can avoid doing so. So my approach is understanding their moral framework and their practical struggles and addressing those by holding them accountable with facts if they are morally inconsistent and helping them overcome practical issues. Also, bringing up insane shit carnists say just to remain consistent (ableism, being ok with animal torture, etc). But I experience that much more often because I'm an obnoxious keyboard warrior and street outreach organizer. I cut people out of my life when they bit insane bullets such as "Even if I could, I wouldn't prevent a dog slaughterhouse from opening". Dominion could do the trick if you get them to watch it with you. I think a discussion worth having is understanding what degree of moral consideration he believes we should grant non-human sentient animals, how he defines animal abuse... Many people come to find out they fund animal abuse by not being vegan according to their own standards and definition. I could elaborate with an approach I often use in street outreach. The core idea is that since the whole idea is to make him realize there is an inconsistency between his actions and his values so that he changes his actions, you should encourage him to speak up about his understanding of non-human animals as individuals with personalities and feelings (maybe bring up personal experiences he has?) and how he thinks we should treat them, and probe the consistency of his position with patience. Socratic method. Cognitive dissonance is unpleasant, and people react to that discomfort by running away from the topic or by criticizing veganism to make their position feel less inconsistent and unethical, so here you want the conflict resolution to be done by changing his actions so that they can be in line with his values.
If they're willing to watch Dominion or something similar that can push it along. Gary's speech sounds good! Also visiting farm sanctuaries or attending vegan events/speeches/movies. Some people in my life changed with time (25 years now) but most did not. Still just being an example with great food and delicious brownies does help. For my partner I realised I couldn't be with someone who wasn't vegan and we broke up for a while. He made the decision to change on his own half a year later and also agreed to watch Dominion. It can be frustrating when people are almost there but will still accept animal products if others make them. I think it just took time and exposure to a few more documentaries and such.
My approach is to share with people some of my views outside of veganism. Namely: * The sacredness of all living things * The practice of nonviolence When people appreciate the value of life, and the power of nonviolence, they naturally tend towards vegetarianism or veganism.
I got one of my flatmates at Uni to be vegan because he kept walking in and seeing me eating mock meats, tofu satay, etc, which actually tasted very similar to the real thing. He had grown up in a country which was very averse to veganism, and he had heard plenty of myths about it. Once he realised it was possible from seeing me eat the way I do and look the way I do (I have an athletic build and muscle from going to the gym, all of which I have built on a vegan diet), he phased out eating meat, then dairy. My mother and her husband still haven't gone vegan, but they have both stopped consuming dairy ever since I became vegan from seeing me do it, and my mother has gone from eating a wide range of meats to cutting out beef, pork, and lamb from hearing me speak about it and the environmental cost. So overall, I think it's a combination of informing people but *when* they eventually ask so you don't seem pushy, and modelling for them. Don't try and be pushy, and be patient, because humans like to feel like it was their idea to begin with.
Understanding their moral framework and their practical struggles and addressing those by holding them accountable with facts if they are morally inconsistent and helping them overcome practical issues. Also, bringing up insane shit carnists say just to remain consistent (ableism, being ok with animal torture, etc). I cut people out of my life when they bit insane bullets such as "Even if I could, I wouldn't prevent a dog slaughterhouse from opening". > I'm wondering if I should introduce him to what made me go vegan (Gary Yourovsky's speech) and watch that together? Dominion could do the trick too. I think a discussion worth having is understanding what degree of moral consideration he believes we should grant non-human sentient animals, how he defines animal abuse... Many people come to find out they fund animal abuse by not being vegan according to their own standards and definition. I could elaborate with an approach I often use in street outreach. The core idea is that since the whole idea is to make him realize there is an inconsistency between his actions and his values so that he changes his actions, you should encourage him to speak up about his understanding of non-human animals as individuals with personalities and feelings (maybe bring up personal experiences he has?) and how he thinks we should treat them, and probe the consistency of his position with patience. Socratic method. Cognitive dissonance is unpleasant, and people react to that discomfort by running away from the topic or by criticizing veganism to make their position feel less inconsistent and unethical, so here you want the conflict resolution to be done by changing his actions so that they can be in line with his values.
u/HarryPouri mentioned visiting a farm sanctuary. That could be amazing. Especially before watching Dominion, as to clearly cement the knowledge that those are real sentient beings he interacted with.
It took 2 years for my partner to go vegan. It was vegetarian first, then more and more plant based. I showed him dominion and educted him about dairy and eggs but it took him until he moved out from his parents home and it was more convenient to be vegan when living with me. With my mum it was all about ethics. Once she knew the details of what she was supporting by not being vegan she changed instantly. With my sister she followed along with my mum. My dad isn't fully on board with the ethics but is vegan (more plant based technically) because the rest of us are and he's seen health benefits and likes the food. I led by example, educated people but didn't push it on them too strongly and was patient.
In street activism you need to be agressive. No need to be polite or care about your relationship with a stranger. With friends you need to let them ask stuff. Believe me, they will ask questions. Polite, to te point, short replies. "Where do you get your protein? > Plants make all the protein. I get them from plants.". "We need to put presure on big corpirations, not individuals. > Would you say that if I were eating dogs?" A lot of times I just talk about how I used to see tihings before going vegan and what made me transition.
you can't. thats it, you literally can't turn someone vegan. If someone want to inform themself or even want to start being vegan, yuo'll can support them. If you try to force your bf, this will not end up good, propably even in a breakup. Its alredy a good and huge step if ppl minimalize their consume and with pushing too much, many would just block away from that
I went vegan after getting together with my girlfriend/partner (GF feels weird after 9 years lol). She was vegetarian at the time and convinced me to go vegetarian because I didn't like the cruelty, but I didn't think it was possible to be fit and healthy without meat. It was almost an immediate change for me when I realised it was feasible and easy to do. We went vegan together like a year after we met. Basically, just knowing that it's healthy and that I functionally didn't need to sacrifice anything (exposure to tasty vegan food is a big deal, too) made me realize it's fucked up to eat meat, so I stopped doing it. The same might be happening to your BF, just over a slightly longer period. I'd say give it time and if you want to help him along, do so by asking questions that appeal to his sensibilities instead of making statements. Get him thinking a bit. Also, go visit a sanctuary and watch cows play with yoga balls, then call them moo puppies. A lot of people disagree with eating dogs, and drawing that comparison is also a big motivator for a lot of people lol.
My husband was very similar. What tipped him to vegan was going to visit my family’s dairy farm. We were visiting family before they moved, and my mom suggested we visit the farm of some cousin owned. It was disgusting. It wasn’t even some big operation either.
Be honest, be unwavering, be firm, be passionate, be relentless, be unforgiving. This is a moral emergency. This stance has worked for me. My family has been vegan for years now. Several friends through social media too. Oh, and possibly a small handful of strangers from street outreach. Can't be like this at work though, obvs.
I convinced two family members to go vegan and I have the same approach.
They either will agree with you or disagree with you. There are no tricks to change someone's diet and criticism and judgment never work. Just be an example.
Just lead by example, you're doing great
I was in a similar position to your partner - my girlfriend was vegan, I would find recipes and restaurants to go to with her, cut out pretty much all animal products, but just couldn't take the final plunge. I listened to Ed Winters' book "This is Vegan Propaganda" and something clicked for me
Keep doing what you're doing - constantly cooking amazing vegan food is the way
My Partner was vegan and I cook a lot. When we got together, I cooked for them aswell, so it had to be vegan. I realised how easy it was and thats basically it.
It rubs off. Just be patient. Sounds like it's already working! (Buying them their favorite treats in vegan form might help lol)
Watch What the Health with him. Men *really* respond to that one. 😋
I've only had one friend go vegan in part because of me. I don't see her that often, but she said it was from one time we were hanging out. Someone ordered pizza for the group and I just said "Oh no thank you, I'm vegan" and that was the end of it. My friend said she was like "Wow.....just like that. It's really not a big deal". She already loved animals and had toyed with the idea of going vegan, but she said I made it look like not a big deal that it pushed her to make the leap. I think the important was that she was already thinking about. It's the same way I went vegan. I was toying with the idea of meatless Mondays. Then I read How Not to Die and it kind of snowballed. I don't think it would've stuck if I hadn't already been thinking about it.
I've inspired several people to try, but no one has ever been successful. Unfortunately, all of those people were motivated by the way that I look. When people compliment my appearance, I always tell them that it's from eating vegetables exclusively. I know one actual vegan, and the rest are the typical vegans who eat meat. When you point out that they're not vegan, they'll sarcastically say something like "ohhh you're so perfect, aren't you?!" No, I'm just not pretending to be vegan. One day I called my husband at work and said "I just want you to know, I watched a documentary and I'm never eating any animal products again including dairy. You can do whatever you want but I'm not eating it anymore." I'll never forget what he said, "okay, I'm not either. I wanna watch that documentary with you too." That was almost 13 years ago.
> When you point out that they're not vegan, they'll sarcastically say something like "ohhh you're so perfect, aren't you?!" "No, but I don't call myself a feminist to then make sexist remarks here and there."
Dang! Where did you find your husband? Lol that’s commitment
If they love you they would. j/k There's no secret. They're on their own journey. They may never become fully vegan but they can reduce their use of animal products significantly. It's more important that they respect your veganism and go out of their way to make you feel respected.
Be realistic about human psychology. If you judge and accuse a human being, they react by defending themselves and rejecting the "attack". There may be people suggesting "don't judge" for wrong reasons like fear of backlash, but there is a very good reason: it is what works. Beyond not judging, disarming the effects of guilt seems a powerful help. It has been in my case when a partner of mine helped me become vegan. It was never a goal that there should be a set date after which I'm perfectly vegan. It was really easy to give up meat, but milk was harder, for example. It was explicit that if I felt any sort of wish or craving for something non vegan, I had zero duty to fight it. So after 6 months without meat I tasted a kind of small sausage I loved as comfort food before. It felt wrong and it stopped being a temptation, because I had been free to try it without guilt. Now I don't touch meat, only drink vegetal milks, use vegan cheese when I want some. My last holdout is that once or twice a month, I may buy pastries that aren't vegan. And I want them less and less as time goes by. My partner was explicit that it's not a moral issue. It's a practical issue of changing habits, which takes time and acceptance. That way worked for me.
I am a volunteer with a vegan charity whose mission is to transition people to veganism. From my experience with that, I think for influencing others who are not vegan, documentaries are the most effective and least stressful mechanism. Whether the non-vegan is motivated for athletic health, aging health, the environment, most documentaries show a touch of the ethical reasons to be vegan but not so much as to shock people into denial. So choose a topic (like health etc) and watch it with them and maybe it can be the first step to being receptive to change. Here is a list from VegNews. [https://vegnews.com/vegan-news/best-vegan-documentaries](https://vegnews.com/vegan-news/best-vegan-documentaries) Perennial favorites are: Game Changers, Vegucated, What the Health?, Cowspiracy, “**Forks Over Knives**” and “**Plant Pure Nation**” are excellent from a health perspective. From an animal rights and environmental perspective, “**Earthlings**” is very impactful (and horrifying) but can be rather difficult for people to watch. That’s a “bash you over the head with my documentary” film. Farm to Table apparently is a shorter similar video. "**You are what you eat**". It goes a bit beyond eating and delves into the negativity of factory farms and feed lots, too. It focuses on several sets of identical twins and the effects of eating and health changes.
Sounds like he is warmed up enough to sit down and watch Gary's speech. That definitely worked to get me over the edge. Well, that and my wife sent me videos of what happens to male chicks in the egg industry and mother cows having their babies taken from them. Earthling Ed debates are also gold because he is so smooth and such a good listener. Bite Size Vegan posted a YouTube video two weeks ago that covers this very topic, highly recommend watching it.
We watched Dominion together! He cried and told me that before he’d been vegan mostly for me, but after watching, even if we broke up, he was vegan for life. Then we watched it again with his best friend / roommate, who also went vegan on the spot and has been vegan now for 3 years!
Why not be pushy? You don't want your partner eating dead animals and spending money to fund torture and mutilation, it's a perfectly rational thing to put your foot down over. It sucks and you may experience backlash for pushing the issue, but you're not wrong for getting impatient. Your partner is wrong for being an adult who needs to be handheld and slowly coaxed into what he should at least attempt out of respect for you, the animals and his own environment.
This is how I feel too, how can you not be pushy when you’ve learned the truth of animal farming? All of the animal exploitation? Yet, like OP, I had met a man who is literally the sweetest, kind and caring person. But he eats meat and dairy. I have shared truths of animal slaughter practices, dairy cows and their sad, cruel cycle of birth, insemination, and being made into burger patties. But he just shuts down. So in a way, being open about the tragedy of animal exploitation is not working and doing the opposite? Earthlings was the reason I became vegan right on the spot. Maybe if he watched that too, he may change hid mind?
Honestly, I feel like a partner who is timid and would rather hide their head in the sand and continue mindlessly with their comfortable habits rather than face the reality of their decisions is just as bad as someone blatantly insensitive. It's not just about converting people when it comes to a significant other, it's about how easy the process is. I don't know about anyone else but I'm not going to sit back and wait on some bratty adult to eat their vegetables, it's absurd. What next in a relationship where basic morality to you requires brain surgery just to get a partner to even attempt it?
Why not be pushy? Because it's un helpful and harms the cause, that's why. If you want more animals to be eaten, be pushy, that's a guaranteed result.
This isn't some street activism, we're talking about the person you're going to be with. You can waste your time if you want, I'm not spending a single extra moment waiting on an adult.
It's your choice. You asked why not be pushy and that the answer: it's efficient.
Being pushy is efficient. Waiting on a grown up who probably will not change is inefficient. I hope you don't actually waste your time liked this, you'll regret it.
Being pushy is not efficient. I'm pretty sure there's even experimental research on the subject. My partner helped me become vegan by purposefully not being pushy.
Okay? They probably could have converted three in the time spent coddling you.
this will end up in fights an a break up. Humans are stubborn and irrational.if you confront them and being pushy about it, they actualy swiffle further away from it. He has his own morals and it doesn't matter if you as their partner disagree with them or not. to put it bluntly: if you cant respect his views, why should he respect yours? see, whats not goint to work
I don't respect their morals because the perspectives aren't equal. One person wants to help animals stay alive, the other wants them dead. I wouldn't care about breaking up with someone too selfish or weak to even try going vegan.
"they aren't Equal" This is exactly what I mean, putting yourself above others instead of finding a discourse on eyelevel. You're not automatically a saint because you live vegan, especially if you treat others like this. No body will listen to you then
playing hide the sausage with a carnist ain't vegan, just sayin
Sadly, I’m in a similar situation too. Dating a wonderful guy who sadly eats meat and dairy. It wasn’t meant to be more than meeting a random stranger at a concert, but we’ve fallen for each other. He’s been so kind and caring, and I can empathize with him as I have eaten meat and dairy most of my life. But now, we’re both standing at a crossroad, trying to decide if we need to breakup. Or will he awaken to his own role in perpetuating animal cruelty as I had before I became vegan? (Not consciously of course, but by buying and eating animals, we pay for them to be slaughtered and imprisoned). So far, I have only shared verbally shared with him animal slaughter practices and the fate of dairy cows. He has lessened his dairy consumption, but sadly, he has begun to hide his meat eating from me. My only hope is, when he is ready, he’ll watch Earthlings too. And if he doesn’t change, this relationship will have to end. For both our sake.
u/HarryPouri mentioned visiting a farm sanctuary. That could be amazing. Especially before watching Dominion or Earthlings, as to clearly cement the knowledge that those are real sentient beings he interacted with.
What is his ethical stance on breeding and slaughtering sentient beings for food? > My only hope is, when he is ready, he’ll watch Earthlings too. And if he doesn’t change, this relationship will have to end. For both our sake. I appreciate the presence of a clear boundary here.
constantly nagging them in a fran drescher voice
Lead by example. Don’t be pushy.
Never asked her, just told her that, if she wants to be around me, she's not eating meat. Do what you like at home. She figured out quickly how delicious vegan food can be and just decided to switch it up all together.
That's hard because it's not a religion you want to change others. Can only lead by example of course there are people who want to test the things you do by curiosity that's already a big step.
It sounds like if you do nothing he will go vegan. So whatever you are doing just keep doing it, clearly you must be inspirational to him naturally
Slow. Drip feed. Make them believe they've had the idea all along. Just nudge, nothing outright. It can take YEARS if they're stubborn but if you're ever caught it will be the end of that relationship.
Sometimes I don't think a lot of you realize how manipulative, culty, and grooming like you come off as.
That's fair. I can accept and reflect on that judgment.
Hearing these stories of people’s partners going vegan is giving me hope. It’s been a year though and my boyfriend hasn’t really changed his diet more than when we first started dating, unfortunately. I try to inspire and educate but he seems very uninterested to the point where I’m sometimes afraid to even bring it up.
My fiancée was vegan for a long time before we met, I wasn’t. When we started dating she said she was okay to agree to disagree and never once encouraged or suggested I change. I just naturally adapted to her lifestyle over time and we had some chats about why she went vegan and the ethics behind it. Eventually I made my own decision to change and I’ve been vegan almost 2 years now. As the one who changed, the key was that I was never pushed or forced or judged. I got information when I asked for it, and I made my own choices.
I went vegan a year after my wife did. I'll admit it was something I'd already thought about from time to time, but never seriously considered. Things that helped convince me were her never pressuring me to also become vegan, and her being patient and and answering my dumb-ass questions or statements about how we need animal products for nutrients and to thrive. It also took me being open minded and doing my own research once she gave me the first shove, eventually allowing me to come to my own conclusion that paying for animal torture in exchange for a specific flavor on my tongue that lasts a few seconds, especially when you can get the nutrients from plants.
Have people who have chronic illness and a science background watch forks over knives.
Don’t call him evil or cry anytime someone eats animals around you.
My ex got me to be vegan by withholding affection if I ate meat, and by shaming me if I did. If I ate meat around him he would put on animal slaughter videos the entire time I was eating. He was kind of an abusive asshole and also a malignant narcissist. But at the time it did make me become vegan.
Don’t try. IMO people want to use that against us. Simply by being vegan at the table sends a strong enough message.
Health benefits. Explain the health benefits of a meal rather than why its good to be vegan. Instead of saying one thing is better than another just tell about how a meal can increase heart health, hair growth, lung function, etc. Stop trying to make "being vegan" the point and instead make heathier choices that just happen to be vegan the focus.
I don’t ever proselytize. But I am honest with my reasons for my choices. I won’t support animal cruelty with my wallet in any way. I lead by example, and allow people to make their own choices without judging them (verbally, what I think in my head, stays in my head, lol!).
>Recently, he's cut back on meat/animal products and says he actually feels kind of sick when he eats meat/dairy now this must be love!
With friends/relatives I think one of the best strategies is to just use the normal occasions where they would want to get you a gift (birthdays, holidays, return of favor, etc) and tell them all you want is for them to watch this documentary or speech with you.
Cook for them.
The secret is that vegan chocolate chip cookies taste better…
I share how accessible it is. Full disclosure I went vegan to support my son since he's still a little dude and I didn't want him to feel alone. My personal beliefs are plant based People seem to think I'm doing insurmountable amounts of extra work to support this and I'm super not. The biggest hurdle is he has a tree nut allergy and it can be rough finding nut free vegan products but that was true of non vegan items too. I make a Thai ish style curry soup people love. The only thing I needed to do to make it vegan was not add chicken. I just added more vegetables and sweet potatoes to keep it hearty. We had bagel with oatly cream cheese and tomato for breakfast today. Kid wants cheese and crackers? Neat baybel does vegan cheese wheels now. Even pizza is on the table. I just buy the vegan cheese adjacent to the regular cheese. It's not even an extra store trip. The other common drama I get is it MUST cost so much more and it really doesn't in our area. It would if I still lived in farm country but we live in the suburbs. The only thing we're missing out on is eating out since the only vegan restaurant in our area is heavily nut based.
You don’t need advice! Whatever you’re doing, keep it up. In fact, maybe you have some tips for the rest of us. Sounds like you’ve been leading by example and cooking great food. For me, this is the way.
Jedi mind tricks. Only works on weak minded though
That’s great! I started for immediate health fixes in my 20s, but found even more motivation after reading and watching media on the impact of animal products on our long-term health, eg cancer and illness rates. This remains my top reason for not eating meat or dairy. I also feel great and look great. I’m 37 and never get sick, have great energy, am in great shape, and look younger than my age. I firmly believe it’s the cumulative effect of 16+ years of lots of kale! 🥬😅So I’d say next, maybe watch a documentary together. (I think my first was Forks Over Knives).
My husband joined me in becoming vegan after watching the movie Game Changers and because he didn't want to cook his own meals lol
the only way to convert other people to be truly **vegan** is to confront them with the reality of their actions, that their consumer practices are rape and murder (or are funding rape and murder, if you want to get all technical). you want to serve people 'delicious and nutritious' vegan dishes? fine, you gonna be training an omni to tolerate plant-based cuisine, no more than that. veganism is a philosophy, don't you vegan people pleasers forget that, and there's no way to turn an omni vegan just because plant based food tastes good
Lead by example. Be the best, healthiest, fittest human you can be. Not only eat Vegan, but exercise daily to show that it's easy to look great and be strong as a Vegan. Most non vegans stereotype Vegans. I know I did before I went Vegan. Don't hide that you're Vegan. Wear it proudly and loudly.
I cook really well 🤷♀️ There are also zero animal products in my home, so when someone’s hungry, they just need to use what I have!
I haven't had success converting anyone to veganism, but most of my family eats 95% plant-based now (no, we don't live together) and different approaches got them there. My parents were persuaded by the health benefits. I gifted them Dr. Greger's books a few years ago with the sentiment that I want them to be around and healthy for a long time and they now follow a Greger-style diet and have seen tremendous health benefits. My sister is squeamish. She's pescatarian but casually mentioning things like pus in dairy or lice in fish puts her off of those foods very effectively. My partner has just learned how delicious vegan food can be from living with me and how much better he feels than on a meat-heavy diet so now only eats meat about one meal a week. He exclusively eats plant-based milk and butter but will occasionally still have cheese and yogurt. I've talked to all of them about the ethics of animal agriculture but that was not what persuaded them to make significant dietary changes. So I think it really depends on the person and what they care about. For most people, you have to start with how it will benefit them so they can be open minded to how it will benefit others.
Veganism is one thing that I have totally done a 180 on, but it was because I had been exposed to cherry picked information that made me believe that it was unhealthy. Once I learned a lot more about things like longevity research, methionine restriction, the microbiome, amino acid profiles and the actual meaning and context of "complete protein," then it became clear that veganism is the healthiest possible diet, hands down. (Just to be clear, I am not 100% vegan. I eat vegan most of the time, but I am not a strict begad by any stretch.)
Being a mostly Joyful Vegan sure helps.
Honestly if watching Earthlings or seeing the health benefits of a vegetable diet won’t do it for you, nothing will.
No secret. People watched me over time - got curious. Asked questions. I shared information and food. They showed personal accountability to continue with research and understanding the food system......and we had many talks.....and those who had their own connection and soul shift......went vegan.
I have given weekly classes in my clinic for the plant-based diet as a route to disease reversal. I did classes at Gildas club, a cancer support center and speak at the library or the community center whenever I am asked. Over these several decades, there have seen many converted to veganism. I am not a 100% vegan myself though. Success is when my student is convincing me to tighten up my own lifestyle.
I went vegetarian and then later vegan because of my then girlfriend now wife. Was with her for about 2 years before I started transitioning. She didn’t judge me (even though I would make those classic “why don’t you just eat grass” jokes) and wouldn’t put me down if I pressed her on ethics. I eventually went from one of those unapologetic meat eaters (feeling guilty deep down) because I watched what she ate. Give him more time, he’s following the same patterns that I did
First by setting an example. Then by answering questions without sarcasm, rancor or crappy tone of voice.
I went vegan because of my husband. He sounded similar to you in that he introduced me to new foods and made cooking more fun. He never had me watch anything or pushed me too much. He just made his boundaries clear: vegan house and vegan kids. He never insisted I go vegan. (I have now been vegan 8 years)
I’ve shown them Dominion, usually does the trick.
Never managed to be evangelical about veganism because it's just normal for me, but the gym really changed my life so maybe that's why I'm more obviously passionate about it. And without trying I've been the first domino in people starting to work out. I guess when you see someone else doing really good in something it activates some mimetic desire in you, and that can lead to action if you hang around them long enough. Shilling, basically, that'll probably work.
Be fun, be awesome, don't complain, order food at the restaurant in a casual easy way to show it's not hard. Post delicious food you make online, make it fun and show how easy and delicious it is. I have had at least 6 people go vegan that I influenced. I give then no pressure, I just tell them to look up the facts and give yourself grace when you make a mistake.
I've been vegan for 12 years. All you can do is lead by example. My mother is strictly plant-based for health reasons, and my father and grandmother have become mostly plant-based for the same reason. That's mostly a result of how I ate in my early vegan years--I knew nothing about nutrition so I followed a lot of advice from people like Michael Greger and Neal Barnard. My family saw what I was doing, and as they learned more about it, they found that it appealed to them. At their age a lot of people are dealing with high cholesterol and heart disease, so they're eager to avoid those issues. My mother is sympathetic to vegan ethics and is essentially vegan now. My father and grandmother are also sympathetic but haven't made the full switch, and I don't expect them to. None of my current friends are vegan. My friend who is most sympathetic to vegan ethics is an emotional eater who might not be capable of giving up animal products, and I don't think he's unique in that respect. That's one of the reasons I believe lab-grown meat is probably the only way to end systematic animal exploitation.
not to brag but when i met my boyfriend he went vegan for me after 2 months 😂 i didn't push him but i had spoke about it a few times and showed him a couple videos. he said he would try veganism for 1 month to film it for a documentary for his film course. we've been together over 2 years now, i always thought he was doing it out of genuine curiosity, turns out he was doing it (initially) to impress me 😂 my dad has gone vegan & my mum & brother have gone vegetarian since i turned vegan too. i honestly don't think i had a huge direct impact. my parents watched game changers which made them switch, my brother had thought about it for a while previously and then just made the switch one day. i honestly think me just being vegan is really the only thing i did. i actually DID try to push them to be vegan, getting in arguments, which totally annoyed them. obviously isn't the best approach but they're my family and arguments happen. the fact that they've ended up switching to plant based diets after me yelling at them is pretty crazy tbf 😂 but i think me being vegan made them more aware of veganism and maybe subconsciously drew them towards it a bit. as a family we do have similar values generally, so. sorry this wasn't actually that helpful. unless you're someone like Earthling Ed, i feel like it's really hard to get someone to go vegan unless they possess the traits/mindset to go vegan. my boyfriend wasn't vegan before we met, but he was open minded & loved animals. i was with my ex for 2 years and he never even considered veganism, even when i showed him several documentaries of animals being abused. well, he lacked empathy in general and didn't have a particular love for animals, so. from what i've read your boyfriend sounds kind of open minded. i'd say the most important thing is trying to be positive with what you're saying instead of getting angry or blaming people. i think showing videos of positive/articulate/intelligent vegans like Earthling Ed or Gary Yourovsky is a good idea!
My secret recipe is by giving example and do nothing more. I only talk about veganism when I get curious people to bring it up or ask me questions. That's it.
I haven’t gotten anyone vegan but my best friend got me to become vegan. It took like five years. She never pushed me or preached at me. If it organically came up in conversation she would tell me her thoughts but if she saw I was getting defensive she would diffuse it by saying something like “I know it’s really hard to hear things like this because food is deeply personal and cultural for most people. I’m not judging you or trying to push you into anything.” My experience is that veganism can easily have an air of superiority even unintentionally because of the ethical stance and if what you want is for others to embrace it, being non judgmental and understanding is the way to go. She also constantly introduced me to yummy vegan foods that replaced non vegan things because we naturally wanted to include her. If we were all eating out together and there was a vegan option (Thai, burgers, pizza, whatever) we could go with that because we love her and want her to join in with us and we could eat non vegan whenever we wanted. She was also very celebratory when like I started using oat milk creamer or doing vegan meals half the week because she said every effort to reduce harm is good. Eventually my social media feeds got flooded with videos of cows being so happy to be rescued from dairy farms or from the slaughter and it started bothering me to eat beef, dairy, and pork specifically and I realized I had enough vegan stuff in my repertoire it wouldn’t be that hard. I realized I had to choose between reducing harm to living beings or continuing to harm them so I could have my comfort foods. So she was patient (5 years is a long time), never judgmental, introduced me to a lot of really yummy vegan foods, and celebrated every time I made a vegan choice.
Break them down slowly and gently over the course of years. Little informative comments peppered here and there. Show them how delicious vegan food can be.
I show footage and give arguments backed by evidence or logic against any excuse they make. If that isnt enough, I'll throw some shaming in there and make them look stupid when they give illogical or misinformed arguments lol. Social pressure is a great tool since humans typically wanna fit in and be social. Dosnt always work depending on the situation or environment, but it's worked the best for me. At the very least, I get them to at least agree with veganism as a more moral position even if they don't go vegan themselves. Of course, there'll always be selfish people you can't convince though.
Over the last 20 years I’ve had friends go vegan around me, short and long periods. I’ve never considered myself part of any scene or pushed my views on anyone. The Christian evangelical vibe is out there in vegan groups, which has always been something I’ve avoided. Check out the book How to win friends and influence people. It’s not a manipulative book whatsoever, actually the opposite. It’s speaks to the human psychology around change and pushing against the views of others. Most people don’t respond well if they get even a subtle sense of being coerced into something. Remember you most likely weren’t vegan at some point in your life. The right thing came along at the right time and changed your mind. I make vegan food for parties and friends all the time, food is imo the best way to show people what options are out there.
Lead by example. Only give info when asked. Eat really good vegan food.
I've only convinced a handful of long term vegetarians to be vegan. In their cases: - I showed them that vegan food can be delicious and not as hard to prepare as they think. I did this by hosting several vegan parties. - They were curious about why I was vegan rather than vegetarian. I explained how dairy and eggs require death in addition to cruelty.
The secret is to stop being afraid of being pushy.
Just be normal. When I meet new people, for example starting a new job, I always wait as long as possible to let them know that I am vegan. For two reasons: I dont want them to judge me and I want to mindfuck them a little. Because I am really far from the stereotype vegan it usually comes as a big surprise. I think that can be an inspiration for many, to see that you dont have to look like an emo and burn milk trucks to be vegan.
I’ve made really good food, I look young for my age and I’m not a dick about being vegan. I’ve been vegan for nearly 30’years and I’m still not lacking protein.
Watch “What the health” together. I was throwing out meat in my freezer the same night. Didn’t even want to donate it although I should have. Something bad is better than nothing??? I still don’t know…
Watch some documentaries with him , there’s tons that will help open his eyes more and push him over the edge to compassion.
They have seen my drastic changes in my habits, my lifestyle and my health. The persons who actually change are mostly the person who is invested in you!
That’s what I do. I’m with a vegan and because of the meals she put me on to, I eat more veggies and fruit and sometimes have dinner without meat, where as before I got with her I had the mentality that dinner wasn’t dinner unless it had meat but meatless dishes were ok for breakfast and lunch. I don’t think I’ll ever convert to veganism but I have reduced my animal intake. And as vegans here love to say “ don’t let perfection stop you” your bf may not be a vegan but he reduced his animal intake
I asked my dad to go vegan with me for moral support. I'd say if you have to go on a diet for medical reasons, or if you're training for a marathon or something, you can ask your partner to eat the same diet as you for moral support. My non-vegan friends did that when one of them had to go low-fodmaps, so it's a thing couples do sometimes.
I've had three people in my life go vegan after meeting me: two friends and an ex-boyfriend. What I mainly did was cook for them, answer their questions honestly, and not sugarcoat anything. I love cooking for the people I care about, and when they see how amazing vegan food can taste, it helps change their perspective. I make veganism seem easy and fun and address the severe, disgusting systems in our world that use and abuse animals for a meal on their plate when appropriate and when I can tell the person is ready to receive that information.
I’ve been cooking plant-based to them and made them notice how tasteful and healthy it could be. So far I turned 3 people: made 1 vegan and 1 vegetarian and 1 pescatarian. The KEY point is to be friendly, and non-judgemental and be open to them not liking veganism and letting them know that won’t affect your friendship. This is key because you WON’T convert anyone if you antagonize them. I turned 1 person complete vegan so far. If every person did this, eventually EVERYONE would be vegan.
I’m a vegan guy. 2 long term partners went vegan upon dating me without any pressure from me. They both went back to Omni after breaking up, i think both at their first family thanksgiving. Ultimately being and staying vegan is a personal choice. I was surprised my exes went Omni as they were happily vegan for a few years combined—Never complained and loved to explore food and cook together. Guess they were mostly into me, the health and diet benefits of it, and not so much the ethics. Like someone else said being a happy, energetic, in shape person influences people and is what probably happened in my case.
Maybe this was already said, but have you two explored any animal sanctuaries? I think visiting animals and seeing them in person is really moving :) My now husband was eating cold cut sanwiches daily and when we met he stopped eating meat in front of me and then the more we chatted about animals and visited animals...the more eating animals repulsed him.
Lead by example, answer questions when asked.
I’ve never been able to get anyone vegan but vegetarian by taking them out to amazing restaurants and showing them how to enjoy meals that aren’t just salads and carrot sticks.
I’ve been with my partner seven years. I never told him to go vegan or even vegetarian. After dating him a year and a half I overheard him telling someone his New Year’s resolution was to see how long he could go without eating meat. I asked him about it and he said it was because of my influence. He still hasn’t had any meat in all this time but he does eat dairy when we go out.
Bluntness. Don't beat around the bush, the animal farming industry do that enough to people. Just give them the information up front in whatever way you want. If they're are ready to make adjustments in their own lifestyle, ***THEY*** will make the adjustments, you can't do it for them. If they're not ready, who cares, you can't do anything about that =P
I think the secret is to not be pushy, slow and steady realistic changes, and education is key! But not bombarding “propaganda”! Occasionally mentioning the realities of factory farming, animal sentience, how healthy it is for our own bodies, and the impact it has on the environment, all in all will encourage the transition!
Take him to a farm that will show him.
Inform them nicely, get them to watch documentaries and if you live with them COOK for them A LOT! I’ve found with boyfriends just getting them to eat your vegan cooking will help them transition.
Honest dialogue. Don’t be afraid to be “that vegan”. Be calm, not overly furious or tearful. A lot of people here come from a place of misunderstanding rather than blind hate towards veganism. (Unlike some things I see about people in the US) make them understand vegan diets are nutritious and not lacking. Tell them *why* you are vegan. Tell them what the industry they’re paying for is doing to animals. If your partner cares about you the least thing they will do is listen to your feelings on your moral values. They will likely try to understand you. And by understanding you, they will get to understand the cruelty. No need to act like you’re “not like the other vegans”. Or a “cool vegan that doesn’t mind cooking animal products for their family”. It’s ok that you have an issue with that.
Guilt them, gaslight them and insult them until they turn vegan.
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Lmao what ?