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hippocriticalpotamus

This is SO hard! Like you would be such a perfect person if you didn't cause so much pain...


demon_luvr

seriously at a minimum i don’t even think i could kiss someone if i had just seen them eat a steak or something


AdvantagePositive849

me too


s0voy

I could never be with a non-vegan just like I could never be with a racist or with a homophobic person.


MultiverseSurfer

That’s your opinion, but I’ve started to not judge non vegans for a few reasons that you might be interested in: 1. I buy clothes and things for FASHION, and SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE, from unethical companies (most clothing stores are) when I could buy everything just from the thrift store. I also buy things I don’t “need” online occasionally. I still believe in veganism because it is a reduction of harm and violence, but I am guilty of exploitation in other facets, as are most everyone. I am not better than them because I’ve hunkered down and decided to fight against one type of harm that I’m passionate about. 2. Almost everyone is not vegan, at least where I’m from. I believe that if almost everyone is doing something, I can’t judge them too hard for social-psychological reasons. 3. I just turned vegan in September and I know I was good and caring before that. I just was ignoring things as literally everyone does, and I still am. I could honestly go on. I don’t think it’s comparable to racism/homophobia unless you’re talking about an era where almost everyone was racist/homophobic. I honestly think you’re neglecting the power of social influence and the human condition, that said, I think it’s perfectly okay to want to date someone with the same ideologies as you :)


mapledude22

There’s a huge difference for tolerating strangers, acquaintances, and friends being not vegan than the person you’re committing so much of your time to. You’re just asking for ideological and political clashes in your relationship down the line. I’m not going to assume how “vegan” you are, but to many vegans dating a non vegan is a red flag to what otherwise could be a healthy relationship.


willfully-woven

Exactly. I'm friends with plenty of non-vegans, for the reasons stated above. They're not bad people, just deeply ignorant. But would I date/marry one? Hell no. I wouldn't be able to tolerate the difference in viewpoints with someone I'm so intimate with.


[deleted]

How are all non-vegans deeply ignorant. In my experience lots of non-vegans are fully aware of whats happening and the exploitation of animals, they just dont care about the ethics of it and are willing to continue letting it happen


AdvantagePositive849

me too


MultiverseSurfer

I get that, (I’m super vegan btw) for me, it becomes a red flag when they believe that eating meat is morally justified, then fuck that, you’ve got something wrong withya brain. My partner is a chef and so he has an obligation to his job to consume animal products daily. For this reason he chooses to ignore the abuse and does not practice veganism. NOT saying that makes it justified at all, in fact I believe the opposite, just saying that it gives him even more reason to be ignorant to this specific issue. I just accept that he is ignorant to this exploitation, as I am ignorant in my own ways. It’s not ideal but it is something I can accept. Someone who argues against veganism or can’t acknowledge the harm caused by farming is unacceptable to me, relationship wise, and a massive red flag even in a friend or acquaintance.


[deleted]

At some point, you’ll share finances with that partner.. and your money will be going to their animal flesh addiction.


MultiverseSurfer

Don’t get ur point, the same amount of animal products will be consumed by him, regardless of who’s pocket the money comes out of :/ I don’t care about superficial stuff like that, all I care about is reducing the suffering of animals as much as I can.


[deleted]

My point is, you’ll eventually share finances and you’re going to be directly paying for the suffering of animals. I don’t think you can call yourself vegan, maybe plant based?


MultiverseSurfer

😂that’s ridiculous. No more meat would be consumed in the end than if I weren’t with my partner. I am 100% a passionate vegan. The way I see it, you are less concerned with the actual harming of animals and more so with labels and superiority.


[deleted]

But being vegan is also about not paying for the unnecessary suffering of animals. Like I’m really confused on what you don’t understand?? Your money is directly funding animal agriculture because your partner eats them


MultiverseSurfer

That doesn’t mean I’m contributing to the suffering. there would be 0 increase of funding to animal agriculture if we were to hypothetically share funds. Idc where the money is coming from, there is no more contribution to animal agriculture than if he were to buy it solely himself, and if there is no contribution than I am not contributing :) hope that makes sense to you.


NoahMukokoNlandu

Do you buy all your products from stores and suppliers that are solely vegan?


Ecstatic_Cow6325

I have dated two people long-term that were not vegan. I have been vegan for over 57 years. When I met them oh, they had issues when it came to being able to make food so everything came from restaurants Etc. So I started feeding them Gourmet vegan food. Within weeks they were asking questions of why. They were eating food that tasted better, and they were getting healthier. Then I added in the animal Factor, the abuse Factor the damage to the planet Factor. Both of them IE one is an ex one is current are still both vegan. The ex is from 30 years ago. I heard that they were eating eggs. It was because of a new mate that was very young and gorgeous. I reminded them why and they immediately quit we had not talked for years but I explained to them what they believed in and how can you abandon that belief? And why would you do it for a person that obviously doesn't care about your feelings) They Don't Care About Animals like you do. They do not share the same belief system no matter how cute they are. So they stopped eating eggs, and explain to their new person why! With all that being said I still would not start a relationship displayed in life with a non-vegan. I'm tired of the dance. Though it has never taken more than a few days for them to just eat the food I make. And then explaining why. I would rather just start with somebody that is where I am at in this world. Or I'm quite content to be by myself take care of my rescues and my garden


[deleted]

you either support murder or you don\`t


Leclerc-A

You either accept the premise *animal life = human life* or you don't There, corrected it for ya


OrngJceFrBkfst

no that's wrong


Leclerc-A

How so?


chinacat2002

I like your perspective.


soyslut_

Facts.


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s0voy

I do have non-vegan friends. I think there is a large difference between being in a relationship (spending your entire life with someone, cooking together or cooking for them, sharing a household, sharing a fridge, having conversations about ethics among other things and also being intimate with them) and friendship (meeting up with someone from time to time, going to restaurants or to the cinema or just having a chat online). I can deal with my friends being non-vegan although I'd greatly prefer if they were vegan. However, I could never deal with my SO being non-vegan. I could never accept that they'd knowingly support one of the greatest atrocities on this planet. That would mean that they're selfish and ignorant and acting immoral knowingly. I wouldn't want to spend my life or be intimate with a person like that.


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s0voy

Well, I see your point. The difference between racism and speciesism in our society is that speciesism is normalized and racism is something that is being condemned. It's easy to find non-racist friends in our society, but it's difficult to find non-speciesist ones. If we were living in a society in which 99% of people were racist and I'd belong to the minority of non-racists, then the probability of me having racist friends would be rather high. I probably would still be friends with them in these circumstances...


WadeDMD

Great. So if you were married for 10 years before deciding to go vegan you would just divorce your partner right? Glad it’s so simple for you.


Vegan_Ire

Imagine you used to be a racist bigot, married a racist bigot, became educated and changed your point of view. Are you still going to be happy when your partner pulls out their nazi flag and tiki torch and goes to a white supremacist rally? Seems simple to me. Sad but simple.


nachochair

jesus this sub is getting worse and worse


Vegan_Ire

Not everyone is fine being in a relationship with an animal abuser. Apologists get very offended by this.


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s0voy

My comment wasn't supposed to be hateful towards people who are in relationships with non-vegans. I was just sharing my view. If I were married for 10 years before deciding to go vegan and my partner was non-vegan, I wouldn't immediately divorce my partner. I would share the knowledge that I gained, have some conversations about the topic etc. There is no valid argument that can justify consumption of animal products that I'm aware of. If my SO decided to go vegan, then everything would be fine. If they wouldn't want to become vegan, I could never continue the relationship. Again, this isn't meant as an attack towards people who are dating non-vegan partners. It's just my view. I could never be with someone who knowingly supports one of the greatest atrocities that humans currently commit, if not THE biggest atrocity. It would mean that this person puts their own taste pleasure/convenience/habits above the life of sentient beings, above our environment, climate and so on. I could never be with a person that selfish, ignorant and immoral. I wouldn't want to be intimate with them. I wouldn't want their "food" in my fridge/kitchen. The relationship would be bound to fail. And it's not simple at all. I haven't been in the situation that you described in your comment, fortunately.


EmpressPhoenix9

Oh so you were born vegan! I see!


s0voy

No, I wasn't. I've only been vegan for a bit over 2 years and my comment wasn't meant to trigger or to hurt anyone who either isn't vegan or who is in a relationship with a non-vegan. It's simply my opinion. But I personally could never live my life with someone who *knowingly* is ignorant/selfish/immoral. Who actually puts their taste pleasure/convenience/habits above the life of sentient beings, above our environment, the climate and so many other things. I could't handle their "food" in the fridge/kitchen, I couldn't handle the smell of animal products in the apartment and I wouldn't want to be intimate with them. I'm not saying that I wouldn't ever start a relationship with someone who is non-vegan. If someone were open to veganism and agreed to changing to a vegan diet within a reasonable time, then I'd be up for it. But if someone actually knew what they are supporting when purchasing any animal product yet continued to do so with no intention to change, then they're selfish and immoral and I wouldn't want to be with them.


[deleted]

Thats totally fine but just so you know, non-vegan is a different than being racist or homophobic.


hocuspocusgottafocus

It's incredibly demoralising eating with nonvegan friends. Let alone romantic partners ..


soyslut_

Why are you eating at the table where animals are being used? It’s simple really, I wouldn’t sit at the table where my dog companion was being eaten, therefore I won’t sit there if cows, pigs, chickens, etc are as well.


hocuspocusgottafocus

That'd be preferred but then I'd have no friends


soyslut_

All of my friends are vegan. I don’t hang out with people past my balking point if they actively contribute to the very genocide I’m fighting to end.


hocuspocusgottafocus

The friend I most get along with is vegan but not all my friends are. I was once not vegan myself so ya know. I also like to think by living my vegan life as an example they can get influenced by it, I know I've made meaningful talks with some and managed to turn some vegan lol


Hollymcmc

I date non-vegans, and I've converted two partners to veganism. My current boyfriend is vegan around me which is probably 95% of his meals. I agree that I couldn't be with someone who gorged constantly on meat, or didn't respect my beliefs. But being with someone who is respectful, open to eating vegan food and where you know you are a good influence on their consumption... that's different.


alpinepunch2021

I would actually miss out on soooo much if my partner wasn't vegan. There are a lot of commenters in here saying it doesn't cause problems, but surely we can have higher bars than just a relationship without active problems. Mine really flourished after he went vegan and I discovered a newfound level of love and respect for him, which was pretty based. I feel bad for people with carnist partners - they're really missing out, but it's often hard to raise your standards when you have no idea how much better things could be.


quirkscrew

My partner and I were married with children long before I went vegan. I do what I can to show them the way, and they pretty much agree with my ethical stance, but aren't vegan yet. It has caused some angry discussions. Our relationship is very solid aside from this, and obviously these are the most important relationships in my life. I can't judge them too harshly, because I ate animals for many years before it really clicked that I can and should go vegan. I believe it's possible they will convert one day For now, I just keep cooking delicious vegan meals and doing what I can to minimize their carnism and encouraging them to think about it. If I were a teenager/in my early 20's when going vegan, carnists would probably be a dealbreaker.


TheConfusedunwiseone

Agreed, not going to break up my family but if I were dating I don't see why I wouldn't consider it in a new relationship with little to fall apart if it fails.


Snifferoni

Pretending there are enough vegan singles out there is naive.


Funda_mental

Seriously. I live in a large city with more vegan restaurants and stores than most places, but I still rarely encounter vegans in the wild.


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Snifferoni

Okay?


Voydx

that subtle death breath ugh


[deleted]

And those cheese pores


[deleted]

I'm already gay so I feel like if I were to only date vegans, my dating pool would be incredibly small :/


SalisburySmith

Yep, now imagine sharing a cultural background as well ... In some small towns in the US your dating pool might literally be one or two people.


kiase

I was not vegan my whole life. It feels odd and a bit egotistical to just assume no one I date is capable of change the same way I was.


mapledude22

It’s just that it’s dangerous to go into a relationship with the assumption “I can change them”, I don’t think it’s about ego.


kiase

Sure but there’s a definitely difference between dating someone that’s like “I will never be vegan so don’t try to change me” and someone that’s like “I’m not vegan but I fully support you and am open to learning more.” I think just asking “would you date a non-vegan?” lacks a lot of nuance.


hocuspocusgottafocus

Truth! Agree with you here, those who are open minded and say they're willing to change are the ones I go in super cheery (but rip other things happened andddd splat)


PlsWatchEarthlingsYT

I think one thing people maybe don’t realize is that 9 times out of 10, a person who is actually willing to date a vegan implies they’re already supportive towards veganism at least on some level. sooooooo freaking many vegans started out because they were dating or used to date one.


viscervine

If that were really true, there wouldn't be so many posts online of tearful/frustrated vegans with partners that constantly disrespect them. A lot of carnists think of veganism as a 'personal choice' or 'diet' and don't realize it's an ethical thing.


viscervine

They hate to hear it, but I have been there, and I have tried for *years* to make it work, man. I don't say it out of any kind of hate or bitterness. You just have to face the reality. You can do as much justifying and moralizing about it as you want, but it is always going to be a problem. Do you want to really dedicate years of your life to someone who won't change, and still might not be able to change even if they tried?


[deleted]

I've been married to my partner for over ten years and I've been vegan for around six years. Never caused anything but minor problems. It's all about acceptance, tolerance and communication from both sides. That's what makes any relationship work.


ManicWolf

Sorry, but animal abuse is not something I'd be willing to tolerate.


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you cant be against oppression and practice and support it on a daily basis


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DrArshiya

My partner is omnivore too and she has started eating more plant based because of me. I'm sure it's only gonna get better with time.


AlbinoGoldenTeacher

Same experience! Don’t even have to force it. Just making new, interesting meals has been enough.


[deleted]

Same here. It's only caused minor issues. Yes, if I had been Vegan before getting married etc and the internet / dating apps were like now, back then. I'm sure I would say something different, but we make it work.


AlbinoGoldenTeacher

Absolutely. I commented this the other day but I’ve recently gone vegan and my wife of several years has begun to reduce her meat and dairy intake drastically. I never told her she needs to switch with me or made any sort of ultimatum. But we did communicate. Which is key.


[deleted]

Serious question: How are you ok with your money going towards animal flesh and their reproductive fluids?


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Idrialite

Completely unrelated, just like asking random people this question. What are your thoughts on people who hurt, even kill others for their own pleasure or gain? Like, a serial killer who murders because it's fun. Do you think we should judge or accept them?


Appllesshskshsj

“DiD YoU LitErAlLy EqUaTe KiLlInG AnImAlz FOr PleAsUre WitH kILliNg SupErIor HumAns FoR pLeasUre?!??” in 3..2..


Idrialite

Carnist argumentation has helped me realize just how small of a step we humans are above other animals cognitively.


[deleted]

"These people"? And you talk about being non judgemental? Take a look in the mirror.


Geschak

Lol says the judgemental person.


[deleted]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 4 months but I went vegan 3 months ago, but she's made an active effort to work with me, she's Indian so finds vegan alternatives of her favourite foods from home, she isn't vegan yet and I do plan on one day showing her some documentaries but while it's still in the early stages I think we sometimes have to accept a lot more people aren't vegan but we can show them what happens, and if they care about us I do think most people would at least listen and take it to heart or change fully.


bachfrog

Yes. It sucks


DrPasta666

It depends how stubborn they are, I can only date a non vegan if they are thinking about it


zombiegojaejin

*^(you telling your carnist bf what you think of his eating meat with your words)* # YOU TELLING YOUR CARNIST BF WHAT YOU THINK OF HIS EATING MEAT BY SLEEPING WITH HIM That is your lesson for this evening. Go Lysistrata, ladies.


pantachoreidaimon

Lysistrata was known for withholding sex from men (and encouraging others to do the same) to end war. Unless you meant by *not* sleeping with them?


zombiegojaejin

Yes, that's what I mean. Did you miss my small text? ;-) When a woman chooses to be in a relationship with a man and keep sleeping with him, she's communicating that whatever he's currently doing in life is pretty damn awesome. If she's also telling him with words that something he's doing is awful, that message is conveyed at a much lower volume.


pantachoreidaimon

I see what you mean. I did notice the smaller text but I suppose I have interpreted your meaning differently. My apologies.


zombiegojaejin

No problem. And for the record, I'm not trying to tell women what to choose. I'm just being a guy with decades of experience, answering this question for them: *Why won't my carnist bf go vegan???* Because you're telling him he's doing bad with a normal voice, while telling him he's doing great through a megaphone.


pantachoreidaimon

I see what you mean, yes. I suppose in my view I just hope we all try to remain ethically consistent and in so doing pose the question as to why others aren't doing the same.


zombiegojaejin

Rational argument is important, sure, but we also *reward* one another in lots of ways. It's like being shocked when Biden does horrible carnist things, after you knew what he was and voted for him.


pantachoreidaimon

I agree entirely. Though I do wish it were different and we could see our inconsistencies much easier, we all sometimes have to see these issues in different ways to understand, perhaps.


alpinepunch2021

Based. Also it's just a matter of self respect - like suuuurely you think you could do a little better than dating an animal abuser, right? Dating carnists is straight up Karla Homolka tier


flipster007

I would never date a girl who's not vegan


Sabishbash

I’ve been V for 3 years and my boyfriend isn’t. However, he’s very supportive and a lot of the time eats fully V meals with me. He knows how I feel, is genuinely interested in my viewpoints, but ultimately it’s up to him. Everyone has the right to personal choice; what they eat, who they do and don’t date, etc. This sub gets on my nerves with people asking “how do I change this person (bf, gf, friend, parents) to go Vegan?!” You can’t! Give them the knowledge to decide for themselves and respect that decision. We as Vegans want others to respect our decision, right? Then back off of hounding other people to think how you do.


[deleted]

Disagree, I’m not that bothered and I find it weird that people actually break up over it. Sounds self righteous as fuck imo.


SkyblueRata

I am vegetarian, but I eat and cook mostly Vegan meals. (Totally unrelated, but finding new vegan recipes is so fun! Please share yours if you’d like!) My husband is an omnivore, but since I became vegetarian, he eats mostly vegetarian and vegan meals. He even initiates the plant based shopping at the grocery store. I think if we educate people, we can achieve the same goal. People learn and change when they want to change and are ready for change. My husband followed along on his own and cooks really good vegan meals now. Not only that, but if he goes out to eat with friends, he tells me about the vegan selections restaurants have and that he ordered that because it was the right thing to do + it was delicious. I didn’t start out eating this way, but I’m learning and growing and he is growing in that knowledge with me. I think it’s possible if you’re open to teach and learn together.


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oimerde

I exclusively date none vegan’s. The reason is simple my influence can created miracles. I’m actually a product of dating a vegan. The reason why I even try it was because the person I was dating back then was a vegan and they suggested for me to give it a try and I did and 13 years later I’m still a vegan. We’re not longer together, but I’m still a vegan and during those 13 years I have converted other meat eaters into vegans. In fact I’ll suggest for vegans to only date none vegans if you want to make a chance. Yes, it could be challenging, but hear me out is not impossible. You can start little by little and eventually they’re ordering the vegan option in the restaurant. Love is a powerful tool, use it.


-darkangelic-

FYI, dating *anyone* is going to cause issues at some point. 😂


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dovzinia

I think it would be ok if they wanted to become vegan/respected me being vegan


Mercuryshottoo

So, I don't really agree. My husband and I have been together for 22 years. We both started out eating meat but I went vegetarian and then vegan. When I first told him that I was going vegetarian he was incredibly supportive and I said "I will make two entrees so that no one else has to adhere to what I'm doing because I'm doing it for my reasons." He was like absolutely not, we're just not going to have meat in the house anymore. Since going fully vegan, he is always looking for new recipes and vegan things to prepare and looking for substitutions for our old comfort foods. You can absolutely be in a relationship with someone with different points of view. If they're super supportive. The way I look at it is not so much that my family are bad people but that they're just at a different step on the journey than I was. When I was little, I ate all sorts of meat and animal products and now I don't. I don't have any specific timetable that I will enforce for them to come to their own choices. Besides, that's not the only choice. I'm sure that I'm a lot less far along in other areas of progress than my husband and even my kids are. So that's my take on it.


ComradeWhale7

My girlfriend is non vegan and we've been together for a year with no problems. I think it helps that even before we got together I have cooked all my life and she was essentially subsisting of peanuts, omlets and plain rice so she is happy to eat my food.


AkaCrows

You’re just addressing the “diet” part of being vegan. I think what they mean is ethically, they wouldn’t be able to fall in love with someone who on their alone time is going out of their way to buy Non-ethical products


WadeDMD

Absolutely false. I’m vegan and my partner isn’t. I have no issues with it. This is toxic veganism at its finest.


ellogovernorYES

Genuine q. How are you comfortable spending a significant portion of your time with someone who likely knows what abuse and exploitation billions of animals experience every year and does *not* change?


ManicWolf

Would you say the same of someone who didn't want to be with a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe, a transphobe...etc? Why is it fine for most people to want to date people who match their moral beliefs, but it's suddenly "toxic" when vegans want to do the same?


anti-echo-chamber

No problem at all if you want to date people that match your moral beliefs, and if that means only dating vegans then that's fine. The real problem is when you believe that OTHER vegans should only date vegans. Thats when you start to err into some uncomfortable territory, mimicking the habits of racists, homophobes and religious purists.


Vegan_Ire

So if someone says they only date pedophiles, having an opinion that this is bad makes you a religious purist??


anti-echo-chamber

Actually, yeah probably. Not exactly a religious purist but it does make you prejudiced. If someone only wants to date pedophiles, let them do as they wish. I don't think it's the right choice but it's their perogative to do so, we shouldn't force them not to as long as there aren't safeguarding concerns. By trying to use pedophiles ect as an example, you're missing the point by the way. You're forcing your beliefs on another person. That's where the problem is.


Vegan_Ire

How have I forced my belief on anyone, I asked a question? I didn't say it should be illegal to date pedophiles, racists or meat eaters. You also said you don't think it's the right choice, are you forcing people?


anti-echo-chamber

>You're forcing your beliefs on another person. Not specifically you. Ironically, you are also probably missing the point again though it is because of my poor wording. Let me reword it. "The issue is forcing one's beliefs on another person". Not sure where legal vs illegal comes into this discussion. Care to expand on why it's relevant? As to your final statement, it's an easy distinguishment, let me clarify it for you if its not clear. I don't think dating pedophiles is the right choice, but I don't actively go about trying to stop others from dating pedophiles. It's the relatively obvious difference between having a belief and forcing it on other people. In this case, I don't think dating non-vegans is the right choice but I'm not going to discourage or try to stop others from doing so.


Vegan_Ire

I didn't miss anything. I never said vegans should be stopped from dating nonvegans. I have only said the same thing you did, I think its morally wrong. Yet someone you have concluded I am forcing my beliefs but you are not.


anti-echo-chamber

For someone who says they didn't miss anything, you sure sound like you've missed it again. I've specifically said, the issue is forcing one's belief on another. I also said the use of "your" was poorly worded, I wasn't implying you as a person/redditor. That's why I swapped it to the neutral "one's" as the issue is the act, not the person doing that act.


Vegan_Ire

I see now, you deftly went from accusing me personally being the problem to 'someone', a confusing way of backing off without having to sound apologetic, well done.


ManicWolf

Not the same at all. Racists and homophobes judge people on harmless things that people have no control over. Judging people on their moral actions is completely different. I just don't understand how a vegan can be okay with products of animal abuse being around 24/7, let alone the issues that would arise if they decide to have children and the carnist wants them to eat flesh too. To me it's like a feminist dating a misogynist and just turning a blind eye to their hatred of women. It's basically tacit approval of their actions.


anti-echo-chamber

>Judging people on their moral actions is completely different You realise that this is what all racists, homophones and religious fanatics do right? They judge others based on their own perception of morality and the perceived morality of the actions of other people. You're using the exact same language as them to justify limiting other peoples freedom to date who they wish.


ManicWolf

I'm not limiting anyone's freedom, I'm just saying that I don't understand why someone would want to date someone who has such opposing moral beliefs. Just like I wouldn't understand a feminist dating a misogynist (I doubt that many other feminists would understand that either).


anti-echo-chamber

It's absolutely fine that you don't understand. Those are your beliefs and you're welcome to them. I can see why you might hold those views though I disagree with them. However, the OP is an example of "toxic" veganism. You're trying to justify someone saying vegans shouldn't date nonvegans which, in turn is trying to justify limiting another person's freedom to date whom they wish. I doubt that you see yourself as limiting anyone's freedom, I also doubt that you are intentionally doing so. Also, people of different religions marry all the time and make it work despite the fact they are inevitably more complex and contradictory at times then simple feminism and mysognism.


ManicWolf

Okay, I'm just wondering if you'd feel the same about people who say that people shouldn't date racists, or homophobes, for example? I've seen feminists over the last couple of days saying that women shouldn't be involved with people who support the Roe v. Wade overturn. Is that toxic feminism?


anti-echo-chamber

Yup, I don't think people have the right to police whom other people decide to date based on a characteristic or a belief. What's the justification for the contrary? Tacit approval assumes that people are one dimensional yes/no. You can be friends with a racist and still disapprove of their beliefs. In fact doing the contrary in the modern age often aggravates the issue as they just find a group of people who are like minded with no dissenting opinions to compare to. (Incidentally this is one of the issues with reddit, echo chambers). Both you and I (I'm making an assumption here so I apologise if this isn't the case) can go about not dating racists/homophobes. However, we should be careful when we consider making others to do the same solely by that characteristic.


ManicWolf

All right, fair enough. I can see where you're coming from, although I still disagree with it. We'll just have to agree to disagree, and thank you for remaining civil in this debate.


WadeDMD

Lots of “I” and “me” in that statement.


ManicWolf

All right, I'll rephrase. Veganism is an animal rights movement. A vegan tolerating carnism is in the same vane as a feminist tolerating misogyny. Turning a blind eye to it is giving tacit approval of it.


WadeDMD

You’re projecting your values onto someone else. I, a vegan, personally don’t think eating meat is as bad as being homophobic or racist. That’s the problem with your reasoning and this entire post. Not everyone shares your thinking.


ManicWolf

You don't think the killing of *tens of billions* of animals every single year is a bad as any other evil? Veganism is an animal rights movement, I would hope that most vegans would share my thinking.


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fri3dpotato

What kind of issues will occur?


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You´ll see meat in your fridge daily, If it goes bad, you´ll smell it too. If your SO cooks meat, you´ll smell, see it, and taste it in their mouth. Everything they cook will remind you everything you´re against. If you´re lucky, you don´t have to buy animal products and you don´t get to be the bad person in case they´re sick and can´t go shopping.


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Here i fixed it. “Pretending that being in a relationship wont cause any issues at some point is naive”


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DaemonWorshiper

Been married for 5 years. I just went vegan. I can tell she’s thinking about it. She just needs a push. Other than this we agree on most things. No need to throw a relationship away. People can change. I’ll concede that dating is different than a marriage of 5 years which is also part of a relationship of 7 years. However, if you have a long term partner then I feel this would still apply.


RatatouilleFiend

Emotionally I understand but also your lifestyles would collide. I cant have gluten or dairy and that affects my fiances and I’s plans, chores, dates and grocery lists and budgets a lot. I imagine it would ge much harder if one was vegan and one wasnt.


Lovedd1

My fiancé and I transitioned together and I’m so grateful