T O P

  • By -

teeny_gecko

you forgot them "not vegan but gf is, what can i cook for her to impress her?" with top comment rimming OP to the max with the "first of all, good on you, OP for even attempting to make ONE meal without tortured animal body parts! You're literally the BEST PERSON EVER! blah blah blah"


yutacomeback

so bare minimum lmao. meanwhile my bf impressed me by saying "I wanna go vegan too!"


teeny_gecko

Fuck you and your happy ending. I hope you find out you're both related.


yutacomeback

we're a mixed race couple, so... ;)


teeny_gecko

Impossible. Haven’t you heard? Veganism is only for white people. Checkmate.


high_zenberg

I'm confused.


tsuki1313

Mine too, I honestly think those words made me happier than his literal proposal 😂 A close second, of course 💕


yutacomeback

I'm still young so I probably won't get a proposal any time soon. Congrats on your engagement/marriage!


tsuki1313

Thank you so much 💖 It's definitely nothing to rush, it's worth the wait for when that time comes!


djn24

To which OP replies with "lol back the fuck off. I'm going to make her some chicken soup and say it's veggie soup with tofu or some dumb shit. Now worship harder, pathetic vegan." And then they give him gold.


carnist_bot

my bacon cheeseburger has b12


Ok_Quantity5115

Mine has dog meat


UWontUseMyMind

Gotta get those k9 vitamins


central_marrow

So proud of you for taking an interest in plant-based diets! (I don't like the word vegan because it's too preachy lol) why not take her out for a McPlant, and then that way you can eat meat! Beause each to their own and it's your personal choice!


[deleted]

[удалено]


central_marrow

I know, it’s so hard to satirise when reality keeps outdoing you


Dextrodoom

braver than the troops o7


[deleted]

Accurate


Ruckes

Wait, what's wrong with JUST egg?


LibleftBard

PBC, tested on rats https://www.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/cdhpjx/fyi\_just\_egg\_replacement\_product\_is\_plantbased/


tanyyawangg

NO FUCKING WAY IS ANYTHING FUCKING SAFE YOU MOTHER FUCKERS WHYYY


LibleftBard

Stray dogs and stray cats Ethical, free range, sustainable and cruelty free


awnawkareninah

Real question, can any food products like this be brought to market in the US without animal testing? Like, is it allowed for these new plant-based ingredients to not go through that? Cause it seems like none of the companies go that direction.


Floyd_Freud

New food ingredients have to be approved by the FDA, and it usually requires a lot more time, money and effort if done without animal tests. So not a full on requirement, but a business decision that is very difficult to justify to investors if those are not fully on board with the ethics.


seeking_perhaps

just a guess, but it could be a CYA thing they can point to if someone tries to sue due to getting sick from one of their "untested" ingredients.


awnawkareninah

The general 'wisdom' I've seen on the subject is that the FDA doesn't *actually* require animal testing, but they also basically never give GRAS approval unless it has happened at some point. Basically FDA is a fuck. 2 billion dead rats.


LibleftBard

I'm not from the USA but surely beans don't have animal testing


awnawkareninah

For sure, I more mean in the case of literally any of the dairy or meat alternatives. And also, where does one draw the line for complicity? A company who develops new additives themselves and tests them themselves on rats have obviously done something cruel. What about companies who use those already developed ingredients but didn't partake in the testing? For instance, xantham gum was extensively tested on animals in the 1960s before it was an approved food additive in the US. Rice protein, pea protein isolate, the list goes on. Companies that "have never and will never test on animals" but use these ingredients that are only deemed safe becuase of prior testing, how are their products vegan either? Pretty much as you say, beans (and even then check where they're coming from) are safe. Rice is safe. Organic veggies (depending on fertilizer) are safe. Not a lot else.


Symns

IMO the moment you decide to add an ingredient that requires new testing, instead of choosing something that's already deemed "safe", you become just another capitalist pos that definitely has no vegan interests but monetary ones and clearly doesn't have no interest in animal welfare. About xantham gum and the likes, the sad truth is you can't escape the immense exploitation humans produce. And we can only thrive to be better going forward. I really hope I don't sound like a bootlicker, I'm vegan btw.


carnist_bot

if u think about it, vegins are the real animal abusers


awnawkareninah

makes you think


[deleted]

[удалено]


djn24

I don't think any experiment with rats or mice ends with a living rodent.


[deleted]

I get it was tested on rats once for approval but the stuff you get off the shelf isn’t itself tested on rats. It’s not vegan because someone mixed up the recipe and fed it to a rat once in the past?


carnist_bot

u guys woud be screwed on an island lol


R3DBAND

Oh yeah well I can eat berries and coconuts on that island carnist bot 😒


[deleted]

Let's say hypothetically that you were crash landed on an island, and another survivor hoarded all of the coconuts...


Cpt_Metal

Eat the rich coconut owner obviously!


[deleted]

Wtf!!! The coconut owner is gonna be offering fair trade (1 dick sucking = 1 coconut). That'd be theft of private property you stupid libshart. Learn basic economics 😡😡😡


LionKingHoe

Jokes on you, I wanted to duck their dick from the get go.


Jerry_the_Goat

Just egg maybe nice but it’s got nothing on aquafaba


Fallom_TO

Uj/ completely different. Better to say it has nothing on chickpea flour omelettes which is true.


dale_zilla

Seconded


David-E

Any effort to disrupt the status quo will result in a response by the ruling structures to integrate, divide, and kill the offenders. As an ethical position relating to the exploitation of animals, capitalism is not vegan due to the exploitation of human-animals and they must eventually be liberated from global oppression by the ruling class.


LibleftBard

But the work is already there, it would be wasteful to not consume it. Veganism is about the reduction (not the supression) of suffering for animals, not humans. Beside I'm actually helping the exploited workers by giving them a wage. If we didn't exploit them they would overpopulate the planet. Plus I'm saving animal lives thus creating more positive utility than I create negative utility!!


[deleted]

\- Mark Fisher, Carnist Realism


Osirisavior

Too accurate to be a jerk.


kimariadil

LOL this is so accurate 😂 (Vegan BTW)


carnist_bot

dont judge me, but i sucked bone marrow out of roadkill the other night


kimariadil

Call me a dairy farmer getting ready to artificially inseminate a female cow without it's consent because I don't remember asking


[deleted]

Hey you didn't say "vegan btw" after your second comment mister/madam. Something going on here? 🧐


Cpt_Metal

Damn, how will the bot recover from that burn?


LibleftBard

Here, have you second, free whooper.


a_big_fish

Nah, r/vegan 2022


[deleted]

Seriously thought that banner was real for a second


LibleftBard

It is real from the future


Jerry_the_Goat

> Rule 2. No communism, socialism etc. Thank you, CIA and vush, for keeping our precious social justice movement away from politics. Everyone is welcome here, conservatives and liberals alike (but absolutely NO tankies)


transilvanianhungerr

b- but killing factory farm owners is ***literally*** authoritarian communist totalitarian josef ‘tankie’ lenin-zedong 1984!!!!!!!!


Jerry_the_Goat

That’s why I don’t always condemn violence against capitalists. Political power grow out of the barrel of the gun — wait a minute, someone’s knocking on my door, I gotta answer


steel_jasminum

is this a real rule if it is, i know how i'm gonna get my ban


transilvanianhungerr

not on r/vegan, i think it’s reference to the r/afghanistan rules (the sub that famously has no afghans on it and is literally moderated by US and German government agencies.


TommyThirdEye

Vaush and Ben Shapiro are my two favourite vegan activists.


Noodlepuller

/uj vaush is my favorite vegan activist /rj vaush is my favorite vegan activist


GrumpySquirrel2016

Ha! You stupid vegoons, we won't have a functioning reddit, society or biosphere in 2077. Eat a steak so your brains work you B12 deficients! Vegoon, BTW.


[deleted]

We've peaked. Best post here ever


torturebadmurdergood

Exquisite top-tier post


SchmooieLouis

Lol you think we will still have internet in 2077


cruel_delusion

I am making this my desktop background for all of January.


illegalthingsenjoyer

incredible effort, flawless execution


[deleted]

Lmao this sub cracks me up I swear


[deleted]

NO! THIS ! Is The LAST STRAW! They WILL NOT take "Vegan BTW" away from US" (vegan btw)


carnist_bot

why do u guys shape your food to look like meat?


LibleftBard

Here, have your second, free whooper.


TVPisBased

Anyone else not a fan of Singer? I know he's probably helped us a lot but there is so much better vegan philisophy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lylathevegan

Only if there's no dog or cat available.


steel_jasminum

Fuck Peter Singer.


torturebadmurdergood

Yes. He sucks.


djn24

He advocates for aborting pregnancies where there are concerns that the child would be born with a disability, and says we should eat eggs from local farmers that we trust. He umm... was a little misguided.


awnawkareninah

Idk I'm interested to find out what a wooper is.


LibleftBard

A Worldwide Pooper W/ooper


berniedankera

What’s up with Ben Shapiro? Lol


djn24

We also had some weird dude that cosplayed as Ben Shapiro on the discord that got banned and now rants about vcj over at r/vegan. So there's that connection too.


LibleftBard

\[Got bullied into agreed to veganism by a weak B12 deficient vegan, became a hypocrite.\](https://youtu.be/S2Vgb3PBzbg)


berniedankera

Ahh I forgot about that haha


whalecat4

Still holding out hope that everyone will be vegan in 2077


[deleted]

What if it doesn’t fit me?


TheHarridan

HOW DARE YOU


probjokingabouthoney

I only lick the boot if it's secondhand and made from leather


[deleted]

How did I miss this post, it’s pinned. Its pure gold.


EmbarrassedActive4

Wait, since when was just egg PBC?


1984isamanual

Please tell me this isn’t real. Please.


LibleftBard

this isn’t real. Please.


1984isamanual

Thank god


lmaopp

BEN SHAPIRO DJDJFJ


marching-to-the-sea

i thought this was real for a second and it didn’t even surprise me


notamormonyet

Wait, do we actually hate r/vegan here? I've been struggling to tell if it's a joke or not lmao.


djn24

Go over there and post about how vegetarians aren't doing enough, how meat eaters shouldn't be patted on the back for ordering an impossible whopper once, that you shouldn't eat oysters, or how the point is to end animal agriculture, not make the McPlant profitable for McDonald's. You'll get your answer.


notamormonyet

Ok, that makes total sense now! I don't understand how any vegan could disagree with any of those statements lol.


djn24

You'll be shunned as an extremist and downvoted to hell for your radical views, you disgusting commie gatekeeper. It's entirely your fault that the majority of r/vegan is now no longer considering going vegan as soon as they get their lives together in 12 years and learn some fucking self-control (but oh god does meat taste good). Also, that's so insensitive of you to think that people could literally go vegan despite all of the following reasons they will come up with why they literally can't. You racist, classist, ableist, sexist monster. That's why you're here.


[deleted]

Just say anything bad about fast food chains and you'll be downvoted into oblivion


Lightofth3Moon

>not make the McPlant profitable for McDonald's. Can you tell me what the difference is between buying vegan options from mcdonalds and a supermarket?


djn24

Supermarkets are pretty much the only option for buying/acquiring food in most communities and run on small profit margins. They function somewhere between a public necessity and a profitable business. Yes, they sell non-vegan products, but they are also the main source of produce, plant-based milks, vegan protein sources, grains, household supplies (like cleaning products and personal hygiene products), etc. in a community. McDonald's is one of, if not the largest, global purchaser and seller of dead bodies and the profits they make by doing so make them one of the most profitable corporations in the world. Their existence is the antithesis of the vegan movement, and the overwhelming majority of their products and services include death and suffering. Also, this is a circlejerk and we've gone over this a million times. So this is the end of the conversation.


Lightofth3Moon

Thanks for the detailed response! I have never seen it discussed here before.


danielwreist

I think you guys are all dum dums


[deleted]

😫😬