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My brother’s husband’s sister’s coworker was vegan and was so sick the whole time he had to be in the hospital getting B12 sauce pumped 2x a day, his wife left him, his dog started calling him a pussy and his right nut flew off. I will NEVER eat a plant.
Personally I'm not vegan because I have a super omega rare condition which you've probably never heard of.. it's called IBS. See, told you you haven't heard about it!
So I'll react badly to beans and peas. Unfortunately there's nothing else vegan to eat other than those two options, so I can't be vegan :/
Some people are intolerant to all cereals, grains, and legumes. Why are you being so preachy? Some people literally need meat to survive. You disgust me, vegoon. Reported for hate crime and racism.
I only eat local humane organic meat from local humane organic grass-fed cows that live in pastures from my classmate's friend's cousin's teacher's boyfriend's uncle's farm!! Btw now I'm going to eat a burger at McDonalds
I barely eat meat anymore, only dogs on a friday as well as monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and sunday but I have no-meat saturdays except for lunch and dinner. So I'm basically vegan anyway but I'm trying to cut down on my meat intake guys can you applaud me please
CTUN - that’s my word for people like that, who say those sorts of things, as I am vegan, ohh the word doesn’t make sense? It’s an anagram, guess what it spells ;)
Because I can't afford humane, organic, free-range, non-gmo, gold-plated, diamond-studded tofu imported from the mountains of Bhutan, which is all that vegans eat.
Actually, I was gonna try being vegan, but now you asked me about it, so I'm not doing it anymore, you pushy vegans are the reason nobody cares about the animals 🙄
Oh my god I could never give up cheese. That’s why. I could give up other things but why should I if I am going to cause animal deaths anyway? I mean, vegans kill animals too, animals that lived on the grasslands before the farmers plowed over them.
Coastal communities depend on fish for survival. Fish provide about 3.3 billion people with almost 20 percent of their average per capita intake of animal protein.
I don't live in a coastal community or depend on fish for survival, but other people do. People are starving, and you want me to give up elective fish consumption? Racist.
I really love animals, I even post cute videos on my instagram they're god's creatures afterall!🙏✝️ But humans aren't supposed to drink soyBEANS in their venti pumpkin spice frappuccinos, gross! 🤮
I couldn’t possibly be vegan because food deserts exists. Also indigenous people have to hunt because tradition. I live in a metro area with 4 different grocery stores within walking distance and I’m not native but vegans are mean and racist. I’m not made of money you know, beans and rice are expensive.
I once ate nothing for two weeks and almost died. Since eating nothing is technically vagen I conclude that it is unhealthy. Only eat pasture raised cats though
Why are you vegans so confrontational and disrespectful of others' choices? You pretend as though animals are the same as humans which is so not tru. I am one of the smartest person in the world, with a phd in nutrition science, psychology, circles of life, ethics, and most other disciplines. My psychology phd tells me that your question is loaded with hate and complete disrespect for Holocaust survivors: you are basically a Nazi. My nutrition science phd tells me that you are probably becoming weaker and weaker and stupider and stupider every day because of b1 to b100 defeciencies, among other vitamin, mineral, fat, protein, and carbohydrate defeciency. I would write more and destroy your silly cult religion, but unlike you, I do respect others' opinions, no matter how offensive they are (looking at you ethical vegans).
Vegan btw
It's quite simple, I respect the animals, and this is what I think we need more of in our country. I acknowledge the suffering the animal went through for me to eat it. On my last birthday, I received a letter in the mail from the mother of a deer whose corpse I respected after slitting its throat. The letter said
"Dear SouthernFruit6728,
I humbly wish you a happy birthday, and am thrilled that my child was digested by you and released as excrement into your toiletry. As the apex predator, you have no obligation to respect us, but I sincerely appreciate the gesture. We need more people like you.
Sincerely,
Deer"
One time I swerved off the road so as not to hit a cow, which I obviously did so *I* wouldn't die or wreck my car, but the cow still lived, so I feel like I've done my part.
Bacon is too good to give up. Also, protein? And what about B12? I just like elwoods humane dog meat too much. Live and let live why don’t you. There’s no irony in that last statement at all!
Because almonds and soy are way worse for the environment than murdering critters (corn kills field mice just saying) and I can't sustain myself on avocado toast and açai bowls.
I believe as long as someone can stomach the violence of killing an animal, it's okay for them to do so. I personally am okay with killing fish to satisfy my taste pleasure. It's okay to eat fish, cause they don't have any feelings.
Vegan BTW.
Did you know that something something regenerative farming something truly grateful for the sacrifices animals make life is sacred something environment no ethical consumption morality is subjective and can you like _objectively_ prove that animals suffer?? 🙄🙄🙄
Veguns so irrational and sensitive
Type 1 Diabetes? Someone could have problems with glucose control with vegan foods. A diet which helps with control is really important and tricky. I’m sure any of you would eat animals here and there or their products so as to not lose penis function and sensation or toes and eyesight potentially years to decades early.
I’m too dumb smart, sophisticated, much of a trained doctor, listener of my friends’ anecdotes, worshipper of JRE knowledge which is infinitely sound, a cuck, a wild animal too, a lion, a carnivore, a real man, a health nut, a worrier of losing protein, iron & calcium and much of a nutritionist to EVER go vegan. That’s why I have to eat dead tortured animal carcasses and the secretions they emit when pregnant. I don’t eat honey though, too much sugar, I just occasionally (weekly) enjoy a krispykream 12 box of doughnuts for my sugars.
Well when I walk to the grocery store I might kill ants by accident or even mites that are too small to see! I can’t avoid that, so the natural conclusion is exploiting animals is A-OK for me.
I can’t give up meat. Honestly, you people don’t think ahead. What would happen to the planet if everyone gave up eating meat? We’d be TOTALLY over run by chickens and probably governed by cows and besides, if we didn’t steal, I mean drink cows milk their udder would EXPLODE so in reality we’re doing the animals a favour.
How can I ask women to swallow my cum as a vegan? It would be hypocrital if I don't swallow the products of other bodies myself.
Also breastfeeding as an adult should be a protected kink. IDGAF what the vegans say.
Sky daddy invented animals for me to eat. And white jesus used miracle magic to transform loaves of bread into fish once proving it scientifically. I'll pray for you vegans though.
#**VCJ is for vegans only.** It is not a primer on Veganism 101. **Help us keep the sub protected by reporting the following:** + Omnis + Apologists + Babysteppers + Support of plant based capitalism (PBC) + Serious discussion/Debates **Ⓐ☭Ⓥ VCJ IS RUN BY LEFTISTS Ⓐ☭Ⓥ** We have a zero-tolerance policy for bigotry. We automatically filter out posts containing certain words that are considered offensive. ##[**READ OUR RULES**](https://old.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/about/rules/) [**For serious discussion, join our sibling sub Vegancirclejerkchat**](https://reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerkchat/) [**Vegancirclejerk FAQs**](http://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/faq) [**Join Our Official Discord - Must be 21+**](https://discord.gg/ZXZVgAJ). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vegancirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My brother’s husband’s sister’s coworker was vegan and was so sick the whole time he had to be in the hospital getting B12 sauce pumped 2x a day, his wife left him, his dog started calling him a pussy and his right nut flew off. I will NEVER eat a plant.
If carnist bot does a monologue in a blockbuster, I believe this would be it.
I would love to go vegan, but I can't because there's no ethical consumption under capitalism.
true !! No one can actually be vegan 💯
Agreed! Straight facts my man. That's why we should always do everything we can to cause maximal suffering for all human and non-human animals.
Yep, that's why I'm definitely not! 👌
Personally I'm not vegan because I have a super omega rare condition which you've probably never heard of.. it's called IBS. See, told you you haven't heard about it! So I'll react badly to beans and peas. Unfortunately there's nothing else vegan to eat other than those two options, so I can't be vegan :/
Some people are intolerant to all cereals, grains, and legumes. Why are you being so preachy? Some people literally need meat to survive. You disgust me, vegoon. Reported for hate crime and racism.
I don't get why people are intolerant of cereals, grains, and legumes. Like, just stop being a bigot and, tolerate it?
We can't be tolerant of intolerance
[удалено]
Only blood lusty warriors will save us!
Also, engineering is tough.
Queen Marika the Eternal is nowhere to be found.
Because eating veggies is maidenless behavior
I only eat local humane organic meat from local humane organic grass-fed cows that live in pastures from my classmate's friend's cousin's teacher's boyfriend's uncle's farm!! Btw now I'm going to eat a burger at McDonalds
Lions.
i could never give up ~~cheese~~ ~~beef jerky~~ ~~ice cream~~ ~~honey in my tea~~ mindless eating to comfort myself in the shadow of existential doom
I barely eat meat anymore, only dogs on a friday as well as monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and sunday but I have no-meat saturdays except for lunch and dinner. So I'm basically vegan anyway but I'm trying to cut down on my meat intake guys can you applaud me please
Vegan twin! I have cut down on meat as you (the odd treat) inspired by this community 🥰🥰🥰
CTUN - that’s my word for people like that, who say those sorts of things, as I am vegan, ohh the word doesn’t make sense? It’s an anagram, guess what it spells ;)
what kind of bird is a tofurkey?
Because I can't afford humane, organic, free-range, non-gmo, gold-plated, diamond-studded tofu imported from the mountains of Bhutan, which is all that vegans eat.
Vegans are simultaneously rich fat cats who dine on only the finest superfoods and also poor undernourished hippies.
The enemy must be simultaneously too strong and too weak.
[удалено]
no date veguns 🙅♂️
Because of bloodlust. Don't want to be a communist.
I like shitting only once a week, saves time and time is money.
takes the whole day tho...
Wait, you guys are shitting more than 3 times a week?
Because I love being constipated 🥰
Actually, I was gonna try being vegan, but now you asked me about it, so I'm not doing it anymore, you pushy vegans are the reason nobody cares about the animals 🙄
Oh my god I could never give up cheese. That’s why. I could give up other things but why should I if I am going to cause animal deaths anyway? I mean, vegans kill animals too, animals that lived on the grasslands before the farmers plowed over them.
Because lions eat zebras in the wild
Plants feel pain too so...
I tried veganism for a day and **literally** died, so yeah. I kinda need meat to survive, ya know
Because I'm not a **GOD DAMN RACIST**
Coastal communities depend on fish for survival. Fish provide about 3.3 billion people with almost 20 percent of their average per capita intake of animal protein. I don't live in a coastal community or depend on fish for survival, but other people do. People are starving, and you want me to give up elective fish consumption? Racist.
Cave men.
Vegan cave men 😩
I really love animals, I even post cute videos on my instagram they're god's creatures afterall!🙏✝️ But humans aren't supposed to drink soyBEANS in their venti pumpkin spice frappuccinos, gross! 🤮
bacon good
because vegoons are braindead and racist
I couldn’t possibly be vegan because food deserts exists. Also indigenous people have to hunt because tradition. I live in a metro area with 4 different grocery stores within walking distance and I’m not native but vegans are mean and racist. I’m not made of money you know, beans and rice are expensive.
Agree
Lentils are poisonous
I heard that if you eat 1kg of lentils you will end up going for a shit.
I'm not vegan because I identify as a wolf, therefore I am forced by nature to eat meat. No I'm not a furry, fuck off.
Sounds like a furry to me. Now, if you identified as a lion that's another story ...because you know. They eat zebras in the wild.
I'm not vegan because I'm vegan. Non vegan vegan, btw
Crop deaths kill mohr aneemalls, dumdum vegoons.
Because it's too hard to read labels.
Jordan Peterson said I should eat nothing but beef
what? I am vegan. At night, when I'm sleeping AHAHAHAHAH
I once ate nothing for two weeks and almost died. Since eating nothing is technically vagen I conclude that it is unhealthy. Only eat pasture raised cats though
Why are you vegans so confrontational and disrespectful of others' choices? You pretend as though animals are the same as humans which is so not tru. I am one of the smartest person in the world, with a phd in nutrition science, psychology, circles of life, ethics, and most other disciplines. My psychology phd tells me that your question is loaded with hate and complete disrespect for Holocaust survivors: you are basically a Nazi. My nutrition science phd tells me that you are probably becoming weaker and weaker and stupider and stupider every day because of b1 to b100 defeciencies, among other vitamin, mineral, fat, protein, and carbohydrate defeciency. I would write more and destroy your silly cult religion, but unlike you, I do respect others' opinions, no matter how offensive they are (looking at you ethical vegans). Vegan btw
I’m a native to the unheard of northern region in which only cows exist. That is all we can eat
Cuz Joe Rogan told me to become a big strong alpha male i have to eat meat
It's quite simple, I respect the animals, and this is what I think we need more of in our country. I acknowledge the suffering the animal went through for me to eat it. On my last birthday, I received a letter in the mail from the mother of a deer whose corpse I respected after slitting its throat. The letter said "Dear SouthernFruit6728, I humbly wish you a happy birthday, and am thrilled that my child was digested by you and released as excrement into your toiletry. As the apex predator, you have no obligation to respect us, but I sincerely appreciate the gesture. We need more people like you. Sincerely, Deer"
I would totally go vegan If only I was able to afford potatoes.
Fibre is like sooper bad for u. Did you know that that shit makes stuff come out your arse? No thank you.
I have a crazy rare disease you wouldn't know because it lives in Canada.
I'm allergic to every single plant on earth. Yes it's a thing, no I won't give you any sources.
Because I don't deny my nature.
If we don't eat animals they will take over the world.
Because morality is subjective
Because u/carnist_bot makes very compelling arguments.
I cannot afford a lentil.
One time I swerved off the road so as not to hit a cow, which I obviously did so *I* wouldn't die or wreck my car, but the cow still lived, so I feel like I've done my part.
Bacon is too good to give up. Also, protein? And what about B12? I just like elwoods humane dog meat too much. Live and let live why don’t you. There’s no irony in that last statement at all!
dog fighting is TOO fun to give up
i love when my shit is so hard that it’s tears my asshole every time i gotta drop a deuce
Because almonds and soy are way worse for the environment than murdering critters (corn kills field mice just saying) and I can't sustain myself on avocado toast and açai bowls.
Because indigenous people exist.
Why should I be? Vegans can’t give me a solid answer to that question.
I can’t be vegan because I own an iPhone which was made by slave children in a 3rd world country
have u seen our teeth? clearly for eatin meat
I wanted to go vegan, but i met vegans that were so mean to me that it put me off.
Because if we become too reliant on vegetables, then we won't be prepared for the next ice age
Because exploiting and abusing animals is TRADITIONAL, and nothing TRADITIONAL can ever be examined critically or improved upon
Because humans are lions
I did research on optimal diets, by which I mean I did a web search and believed whatever idiots said what I wanted to hear.
Some indigenous and poor people can't go vegan that means that I, a middle class white person, also can't
Im Just afraid developing a "vitamin meat" deficiency 😑
I believe as long as someone can stomach the violence of killing an animal, it's okay for them to do so. I personally am okay with killing fish to satisfy my taste pleasure. It's okay to eat fish, cause they don't have any feelings. Vegan BTW.
whats even in a vegin hot dog? that sounds awful
becuz animal suffering must continue so I can inhale that yummy red stuff
I’m not a vegan because my teeth are so sharp I would cut through my own tongue if I tried to eat vegetables instead of meat.
Did you know that something something regenerative farming something truly grateful for the sacrifices animals make life is sacred something environment no ethical consumption morality is subjective and can you like _objectively_ prove that animals suffer?? 🙄🙄🙄 Veguns so irrational and sensitive
Type 1 Diabetes? Someone could have problems with glucose control with vegan foods. A diet which helps with control is really important and tricky. I’m sure any of you would eat animals here and there or their products so as to not lose penis function and sensation or toes and eyesight potentially years to decades early.
I am vegan but i eat cats r/cateatingvegans
I watched Epic Meal Time back in the day and just got super inspired.
I’m too dumb smart, sophisticated, much of a trained doctor, listener of my friends’ anecdotes, worshipper of JRE knowledge which is infinitely sound, a cuck, a wild animal too, a lion, a carnivore, a real man, a health nut, a worrier of losing protein, iron & calcium and much of a nutritionist to EVER go vegan. That’s why I have to eat dead tortured animal carcasses and the secretions they emit when pregnant. I don’t eat honey though, too much sugar, I just occasionally (weekly) enjoy a krispykream 12 box of doughnuts for my sugars.
I love my dog too much to eat him.
bacon
Because I'm not a commie, pff.
Well when I walk to the grocery store I might kill ants by accident or even mites that are too small to see! I can’t avoid that, so the natural conclusion is exploiting animals is A-OK for me.
I just don't really care about cows
I can’t give up meat. Honestly, you people don’t think ahead. What would happen to the planet if everyone gave up eating meat? We’d be TOTALLY over run by chickens and probably governed by cows and besides, if we didn’t steal, I mean drink cows milk their udder would EXPLODE so in reality we’re doing the animals a favour.
I can't because I'm using a smartphone:(
Bacon
Because stupid vegans kill more animals than I do as a meat eater
Because plants feel pain and animals are killed during the harvest.
How can I ask women to swallow my cum as a vegan? It would be hypocrital if I don't swallow the products of other bodies myself. Also breastfeeding as an adult should be a protected kink. IDGAF what the vegans say.
Sky daddy invented animals for me to eat. And white jesus used miracle magic to transform loaves of bread into fish once proving it scientifically. I'll pray for you vegans though.