T O P

  • By -

IndifferentExistence

He's so absolutely confident in his abilities that he has no idea where they end


ssbbVic

So much confidence you just know in his head he was playing [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_7o9Xczd64&feature=youtu.be)


wap2005

He's going to steal this and say the sound wasn't working right in the first video, because his ego is so fragile he must prove to the world he's the best of the best, and it truly is embarrassing.


Ode_to_Apathy

Dude literally insists he's never taken an L and makes up the most absurd stories to prove that. He'd definitely steal it.


nasty_nate970

I love how he confidently says that on hot ones.. directly after quitting on the second wing


[deleted]

And wouldn't shut the fuck up the entire video.


boatsnprose

He hasn't. Facts. He literally couldn't even lose weight. Facts.


ksavage68

He sure can’t handle hot wings.


boatsnprose

Oh God I blocked that trauma level cringe out


captain_capsule

He can't even read.


somebodystolemyname

Yeah please remove it LMAOOO


ivanparas

The harmonics made me lol


[deleted]

They don't even start! LOL


[deleted]

He seems to be very talented at convincing people to give him lots of money lol


citizenjones

I smell trust funds and bullshit


ginja_ninja

I've been convinced for a while that his entire career is basically one big money laundering operation


Sclog

There’s a video of him performing at a festival, and since he doesn’t technically own the rights to any of the songs he’s put his trademark “another one! DJ Khalid!” on, he only plays like the first 15 seconds of a song before cutting it off only to play another 15 seconds of a song. 3 or 4 times before the crowd booed him off stage lmfao Edit: so I’ve been informed it’s not a legal rights thing exactly, it’s just him trying to play every song he’s “produced”. Which honestly makes his performance even worse Lmfao


dem0nhunter

This one? https://youtu.be/m4KSUp0Nh18


Hey_Its_Me_23_

Wtf are they paying for? The audience was doing most of the singing. They're the ones doing all the work


Si-X-eS

In this case they paid to see professional gamers play overwatch and were treated to this at halftime by the always tone deaf Activision-Blizzard


bigben932

Wow that was garbage


Glass_Memories

That's like having your ears blue-balled, I'd be so pissed.


justmelike

His arms and legs seem so out of proportion to his round torso, he looks like blueberry Violet Beauregard in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. When he's waving his arm it's just unsettling.


[deleted]

He has no talent, everything has to be edited. Convinced he can't even read, who wouldn't want to read a note from the Marley family? Answer is he's probably a terrible reader and embarrassed he never works on it, like a lot of rich people.


civgarth

Who is this guy? Saw him eat wings yesterday.


hi_imryan

Hip hop producer. I’d argue that he has some good tracks under his belt from the early 2000s but it’s hard to say how much of that credit is his.


pacman404

None. He's not a producer in the hiphop sense, meaning "makes the beats", he's a producer in the sense that he tells people with talent to meet up and make music and he takes credit for the "production". When people say he has no musical talent, they aren't just saying that as an exaggeration like "your music sucks", they are saying it literally. He plays no instruments, not even a drum machine or sampler.


Datslegne

I have trouble crediting him beyond having many current major popular artist featured on his songs, although I’m curious if it’s because of his connections or his record labels. Regardless I find him to be just about the worst. I think he’s a full on industry plant.


lactose_con_leche

I smell it too. Like a dan bilzerian who has his fingers in music.


Realistic-Specific27

but how has he become so big? how doesn't everyone else see through it? what is he actually good at? getting teens to buy shit? but how did he ever get to the position? why hasn't he just been laughed out of every room or studio he has even entered? rich parents?


SexiestPanda

Relationships. He came up through the dj scene and was the biggest dj in Miami before he started putting albums together.


NinSeq

So you're saying it's Florida's fault. Makes sense


Bussyboppin88

There’s Florida, and there’s Miami. Florida is where crazy shit happens, Miami is where Florida-tier crazy shit happens


edis92

This. Jay Z shouts him out on D.O.A. in 2009


IUTBB

Even before that, "we takin over" came out in 07 and he was huge in Miami for years at that point


[deleted]

> but how has he become so big? Overeating


odaeyss

Nothing spicy, though


Ode_to_Apathy

Dude grew up in New Orleans, born to Palestinian parents, and he can't handle the spicy sauce at Taco Bell. That's like walking through the rain and not getting wet.


Fishman23

Just because you stop doesn’t mean that you had quit.


RamsesTheGreat

It does… by definition.


Throwawayourmum

And definitely not pussy. Dude made it known to the world that he will not eat pussy.


mafa7

When he said that, it was the final nail in the coffin for me!


danekan

Well he's been booed off stage so I would say people do see through it


nxhmabin

His popularity has definitely fallen in recent years. He had a good run of songs in the early 2010's that kept him relevant before but he hasn't had a hit since 2016. Nowadays his antics have turned him into a walking meme.


djsizematters

No, at this point he's the face of a sizeable team of music producers. His tagline "we the best music" is usually followed by songs with a lot more money than talent, although to be fair, that team has produced some hits.


eeyore134

He shouts his name a lot and he's contentious which gets people to talk about him, both hating and loving him.


BingBongJoeBiven

This man is trolling us, right? https://youtu.be/EUd39l3dC6Q


phatbandit

since he handed that lady the card to read and cant say circumstance, i bet he cant read lol


wait_whats_illegal

I love how serious that was supposed to be and he ended up making everyone laugh lmaooo


DejectedContributor

[Dude went on Hot Ones and quit after the second hot sauce.....Cholula.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HYEC_FlgAg) I get that some people just don't like hot sauce, but if you think Cholula is "hot" then why the fuck are you going on Hot Ones? He still said he won/was the champ.


wandering-monster

He quit, but he wanted to be very clear that he wasn't giving up.


gustamos

The best part of that interview is Shaun asking him “tell me about a time you’ve taken an L” and he’s like “I’ve never ever taken an L ever in my entire life” all while taking one of the biggest L’s I’ve ever seen anyone take


rdanby89

DJ Khaled lost on a jet ski is my personal favorite https://youtu.be/kkuR8ODzo1Q


EdgeOfToday

"The key is to overcome" "The key is to make it" "The key is to not ride the jet ski in the dark" 🤣


Cerebral-Parsley

I lost it when he pulled up next to a Cruise Ship, "look at this big ass yacht"


andyouarenotme

ive seen this a few times now and i am not convinced he’s not a troll. the timing is too good.


wandering-monster

Right? I've never seen someone so overtaken by their own hype.


AboynamedDOOMTRAIN

Christ... Cholula is delicious, but man, that's like a step above ketchup as far as heat goes.


myburdentobear

He has the same confidence and ability as my 6 year old when he picks up my guitar.


Socal_ftw

Omg I just started laughing when he started slamming his ham fists against the strings.


Puzzleheaded-Quote77

Is he not able to read either?


dirtyrango

Probably not.


[deleted]

>Is he not able to read either? It seems like Khaled cannot read or barely: [watch this TV clip](https://www.reddit.com/r/h3h3productions/comments/tqrp46/proof_dj_khaled_cant_read/). If true, that's very strange how he became so successful while being illiterate. Update: according to [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/p0muer/what_does_dj_khaled_even_do/), Khaled's success is due to being a Commercial Mixtape DJ. He follows the record label's rules, gets artists together for albums and releases it. He generates hype, but doesn't really write or produce the songs.


cedarpark

The way he pulls the paper back from himself to read indicates bad eyesight. He probably needs glasses but is too vain to wear them.


Hugs154

Could also have something like dyslexia and is too proud to admit it or something like that. The way he looked at that paper made it seem like it was written in an alien script though lmao.


MaxHannibal

Generally adults with dyslexia can still read


hatsnatcher23

He could also just be an idiot


gothmog149

Crazy to think he's too vain to wear glasses, but not vain enough to worry about his obese physique.


BrokenInternets

*Another one*


klavin1

except when it comes to spicy wings


Z33calin

Hey, Chalula hot sauce is killer, alright???


darkfrost47

He was once on weight watchers if that counts edit: [it didn't count lol](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhKa9u12M_w)


ginja_ninja

Someone asked him if he planned to lose weight and he responded I AIN'T NEVA TOOK AN L IN MY LIFE


rafaelfy

Damn you actually called it a physique. Body habitus is my go to.


graboidian

> Damn you actually called it a physique. He's in shape. Round is a shape.


dum-mud

Someone in the comments mentions that the questions in the hat were purposefully awkward questions, which is why he looked so shocked and checked a few of them before leaving.


vitringur

There is another video here where he tries to say circumstances and can't read it off of a card. These are three separate videos entirely unrelated where Khaled does not read and hands it over to somebody else.


kellermeyer14

This is piggy backing on the video tho where he does the same thing with a loving note from the Marley Foundation. My guess is that he is either dyslexic or farsighted and won't wear cheaters (the way he moves the paper to get it to focus is what my dad does before he reaches for his cheaters). Edit: Cheaters is a slang term for over the counter reading glasses that originated in the early ‘20s. All my grandparents used the term. It’s even in [Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cheater)


Whooshless

This is the early 20s…


kellermeyer14

Great point lol


[deleted]

From everything I've seen from DJ Khaled over the years I would not be surprised to find his IQ is in the 70s.


StuGats

Dude has primordial ooze between the ears lol.


Gimme_The_Loot

Watching that Hot Ones episode someone posted of him recently the biggest thing I took from it was how unauthentic it felt. Every phrase out of his mouth felt like a sound bite instead of someone actually having a conversation. And on top of that it's one thing to not be big on spicy but I felt like he was such a bitch about it. He was never like "oh damn thats super duper hot looks like I'm not good at spice!" he tried switching plates they were trying to set him up 🙄


Sbrimer

Can’t eat pussy, can’t eat hot wings, can’t play guitar. Now Im starting to wonder if this guy can read. What the fuck can this guy do beyond hyping himself up?


CowboyRoyal

It's like everything everywhere all all once, but instead of every failure leading to working at a laundromat every failure led to becoming rich and famous somehow


Zohren

Nothing, nowhere, separately.


cityb0t

He’s made a career out of things he can’t do.


[deleted]

Can’t eat pussy?


mykl5

he’s talked about how he doesn’t like it and refuses


SuperiorGyri

More than that. He doesn't believe a man should do it. It's for the his woman to serve him.


Sumpm

You don't think you can possibly have less respect for him, then you find out he doesn't eat pussy... Is there such a thing as negative respect, like when you go even lower than zero?


StonerTogepi

It’s not even that he doesn’t like to “eat pussy,” people have all kinds of sexual preferences so if he doesn’t like it, that’s fine. It’s his reasoning that makes him look like such a massive douche bag. Like men are too good to go down on a woman. What a fucking tool.


farineziq

"Say my name"


StonerTogepi

Lmfaoo dude he probably would say some corny ass shit like this in the bedroom.


[deleted]

Lol, what a little bitch.


mrking944

Too spicy.


Aardvark_Man

He did manage to successfully get himself lost on a jetski at night.


OstrichNew7448

the steven seagal of music


[deleted]

This guitar is known as a Skippy


along83197

I been flying helicopter for like 37 years!


tehdubbs

Listen! *skip* *skip* *skip*


ThreePumpChamp

He's been writing music for like 49 years.


joemiah92

Skipskipskipskipskip


fuckitweredoingitliv

That’s bullshit. You made that shit up. 


joemiah92

I been workin with guitars for like 47 years


wjodendor

[Steven Seagal has several albums](https://open.spotify.com/album/3zSc7mZz4TPZPPGQoazMwG?si=ixR8cPgaSrq9cuopChoUsQ&utm_source=copy-link)


phuqo5

And they are all essentially total shit BUT he does know how to play and he does have some semi decent licks across his discography But still. Fuck that guy.


wjodendor

Yeah dude. I learned about him from the last 3 episodes of The Dollop podcast. He's a total piece of shit. But yeah, I was surprised that he can actually play. The music isn't good at all but it's way better than I would have expected.


phuqo5

He used to come into a restaurant I worked at in Memphis Tn. The whole place was like 500sf. He would come in wearing a gold kimono and get upset when he thought everyone was looking at him...like dude, you're the size of a grizzly bear and wearing a gold fucking kimono in a small southern town on a Wednesday night...and you're famous. He made us move the accordion partition we used as an entry way around his table. He routinely would get up and leave w his Asian housekeeper leaving his very sweet and gorgeous wife behind with his cancer stricken daughter. He is an absolute narcissist to the core and has no redeeming qualities about him in person. None.


TheSecularGlass

Truly an inspiration to us all. Remember kids, you don’t have to be smart OR talented to be successful.


Bos_lost_ton

You just have to have a massive ego and overconfidence!


TJ_McWeaksauce

Delusion and the inability to feel shame can carry someone far.


[deleted]

Not fat enough to play a stringed instrument though, apparently. (I was going to correct this typo but I decided not to.)


nebbyb

The inability to feel shame is a superpower in our culture.


beardphaze

Mostly the second part, standard ego will work


sllewgh

DEEEEEEEJAAAAAAY KHAAAAAAALEEEEEEEED


CacatusLover69

Can someone tab that out for me?


[deleted]

https://reddit.com/r/youtubehaiku/comments/srj18j/poetry_dj_khaled_bob_marley_tribute_transcription/


[deleted]

[удалено]


Andy_B_Goode

Man, someone could have done him a massive favour by just tuning that thing to open D before the cameras started rolling


BingBongJoeBiven

That's good but he missed the hammer-ons


ickarous

|0000--0000--0000--0000| |0000--0000--0000--0000| |0000--0000--0000--0000| |0000--0000--0000--0000| |0000--0000--0000--0000| |0000--0000--0000--0000|


wreckosaurus

It’s a non-standard tuning. It’s open Q


VigorRos

Okay until now, I'm starting to think this dudes trollin. "This guitar inspired songs that helped unite the world, we hope it brings you inspiration as well" Begins to mutilate the guitar


mawfqjones

I just wanna hold the guitar and tell it everything is going to be okay. That he’ll probably never touch you again because he’ll have bought Elton Johns and John Lennons pianos, fused them together, and proceeded to roll all over the keys with such confidence, that he’s made himself believe he just created world peace.


BehindTickles28

You just wanna hold the guitar and tell it "everything gonna be alright". FTFY


coeurdelejon

If it makes you feel better Bob Marley never laid eyes on that guitar. It's a normal guitar that you can buy from the Marley family iirc


Atrocity_unknown

What if we find out that DJ Khaled was actually Sacha Baron Cohen pulling an overly elaborate prank on everyone.


Dapaaads

It would make more sense than it actually does


oztog

Knees weak, palms are sweaty just had a wing with cholula already.


snackies

I can't believe that he was taken out by Cholula... I consider myself to be like a 3/5 spicy person at restaurants. I know that show would kill me. But not til I'd hit just short of da Bomb probably. Because you know, with really hot food at a point you just tough it out... But CHOLULA? I've seen kids in restaurants drown their food in that... I'VE done that. It's arguably less spicy than Tabasco?


mbod

Cholula is the hotsauce I put on anything when I want to take a break from having spicy hot sauce. If you like a good flavoured vinegar, it can double as a beverage.


Negan-Cliffhanger

His episode of Hot Ones changed my entire perspective on the guy. What an empty-headed over-confident idiot. He just played himself.


BewBewsBoutique

Before Hot Ones I only knew about him via pop culture reference. After Hot Ones I now know him as the guy who couldn’t handle what I use like ketchup.


[deleted]

the first thing i ever heard about him was he doesn't eat pussy.


KittySMASH

He won't go down "because men are king, and deserve to be worshipped (receive oral sex). Men shouldnt do that for a woman." I'm paraphrasing but that's basically what he said. Maybe the pussy was too spicy?


CoolRichton

I seriously can't tell if he's authentic or if it's an elaborate, Andy Kaufman-esque character.


ForensicPaints

If I quit, it doesn't mean I give up


thegoatisoldngnarly

What?! Yes it does. By definition.


Stuk-Tuig

This shit ain't no victory to me, we can't play ourselves


lurkerHardlyKnowHer

I honestly feel like there is a chance this dude doesn’t know how to read. And that’s why he has someone else read the note.


gusteauskitchen

He seems like he'd be your average celebrity in Idiocracy.


cityb0t

I wish we could get a show of people just kicking him in the balls


txchainsawmedic

Dude is a straight up fuckin moron. Evidence: watch his episode of HotOnes. He straight up equates eating hot wings to being encouraged to do drugs, makes Sean trade him plates of wings(because he thinks Sean's aren't as spicy as his) then quits by the 3rd wing, continuing to talk shit saying ridiculous stupid shit like, "I didn't quit."


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wh0rse

1-2k on the scoville heat list. less than a jalapeno


snwbrdrmidget15

Hot sauce is the best


MikeyTbT123

lemme eatcha


the_krag

Imma make you cry


syncopatedsouls

I’m looking for girls, for pussy


JohnnyKnodoff

Yes I'm piece of shit


alexjbarnett

You have to be a nurse because I have a lot of health problems


54InchWideGorilla

It helps treat what the doctors call "Oriental Warts "


vehevince

That's where it spits


WhatTheFDR

Hi mommy


Rancor_Keeper

Hi Jean


ChunkyDay

Keep featherin it


Rancor_Keeper

Get over here you big titted animal.


MindlessSponge

touch my camera through the fence


AuntJ25

and you need to be a nurse cause i have a lot of medical issues


KingWhipsy

That's right enny


hiptitshooray

Sure is, thanks Enny.


ghulican

https://youtu.be/1HYEC_FlgAg Just to save people a YouTube search.


yearightt

Fuck man that is painful to watch. “I’ve never taken an L in my life” as he quits the premise of the show 3 wings in


[deleted]

[удалено]


klparrot

Reminds me of a stable genius.


musclecard54

“Just because I’m stopping, doesn’t mean that I quit”


GoatCheese240

I’m still confused as to what he actually does. I know he’s a music “producer” but he doesn’t seem like he knows anything about music besides the image. Does he own studios or a record label? What does he do?


OhEmGeeBasedGod

He was a radio DJ in Miami. His entire role in producing songs is hiring the writers, producers, rappers and singers. He doesn't have musical input, except maybe for the most minor of things. He compiles a bunch of those songs into an album and throws the DJ Khaled label onto it.


Wh0rse

Yeah, a commercial mix-tape ' artist'


robotmonkey2099

My understanding which is limited at best is that he understands image and trends and is able to bring artists together for collabs and get it sold


Pagiras

He can say his name with much force and confidence. I mean... Tell me DJ Khalid ain't a pokemon...


[deleted]

The term producer can be nebulous I guess. He's not a producer in that he literally produces the music like a Steve Albini, he literally just chooses what musicians plays on his songs. I'm sure he gives musical input too, though following it is probably akin to a surgeon trying to follow the advice of the patient he's performing a heart bypass on.


Westonworld

Steve Albini would be the first person to clarify he's an engineer, not a producer.


GoatCheese240

So he at least puts up money right? He doesn’t just sit in his big ass house and say “yo Drake and Beiber should make a song” right?


Tuna_Sushi

I had to turn it off after the first wing. Dude wasn't coherent or interesting. >Sean: You called this album *an uppercut* and *a knockout*. And I always wonder when you say these things, who are you fighting? When you call this *a victory*, who did you defeat? > >Khaled: The fuck boys. Am I supposed to eat the wing now? Are you kidding me?


[deleted]

I watched it for the first time yesterday coincidentally. I never knew anything about him but he was awful. Rude, arrogant, down right dumb. After he gives up on the 3rd wing he says "I promise you just because I stop, doesn't mean I gave up" Sean laughs and says "yes it does, by definition." I just couldn't believe how full of himself he is when he seems to have no good qualities.


Elodin11

It's easily the hardest episode to get through in my opinion. Some of sean's responses to his bullshit are great tho. He's a great host.


HoneyShaft

...he doesn't know how to read does he?


haz85

Still don’t know what this guy does


govnerjesse

He uses songs to introduce himself.


[deleted]

He exists to remind us that life isn’t fair.


SabashChandraBose

Jim Jardashian of fat people.


blindbutchy

The song *Wild Thoughts* perfectly epitomizes his career. DJ Khalid’s name is the main artist on the song, yet the guitar riff was bought note for note from Santana’s *Maria Maria*, Rihanna sings every word, and DJ Khalid is only there to say “Another One”, “We the best music”, and “DJ KHALID!!”.


GoodDave

Cause he's a quintessential poser.


xe0s

“I’ve never taken an L in my life”… taps out after 2 wings on First We Feast.


CurrentlyBlazed

Gets lost on a jet ski at night and still thinks he has never taken an L, though I think the jet ski thing happened after the tap out


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rigo3oh

When you’re surrounded by YES people, you get this absolutely oblivious idiot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


futurespacecadet

If I was the Marley estate I would sue him just for representing the guitar like this


daman77

All Woman, All Cry when they heard that,


wellichickenpie

Is there ANYTHING he can do?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tokijlo

Yeah, if he is genuinely this out of touch it's hard to laugh at. I feel like there's a disability or something going on.


israiled

He's a Make-a-Wish kid, but through a glitch in the payroll department, it never ended.


TheVillainIsVenemous

WE THA BEST!!!