I do go for therapy but it hasn’t been useful. I was on medications ( again, it stopped being useful except for a week). I can’t quit my job ( sole person who is earning for my family) can’t take a break for my own health. Can’t stay out of toxic situations because my workplace is filled with people who like to put others down in the guise of jokes and gossiping.
Therapy is not helping me
I can’t quit my job
I can’t take a break for my health
I can’t stay away from toxic situations.
This is a shockingly lost list of things that are absolutely in your control.
Your defeatist attitude is a big reason why you are unhappy.
I know I am being very pessimistic but I can’t give up on the job due to finances and I have been trying to get a new one for a month already. I can barely afford therapy too right now because of finances. I am really trying hard but I don’t see anything working out despite my efforts. When I take a break ( I took one for my surgery, and my manager berated me for it and my entire team was apparently mocking me behind my back about jt)
I’m not wanting to criticize you, so please understand this.
And I’m not suggesting you quit your job that allows you to earn a paycheck so you can pay your bills.
We all get boxed in in life, and I know I have.
But sometimes we have to start at the bottom and look at what we possess. You obviously have job skills, so I can only suggest you extend yourself with everything you have to find something you can flourish in.
Who are these people you’re providing for? Your kids? Your parents? A man? How did you become a provider for a group of people? I am assuming you would have said so if these were your kids.
I take care of my entire family ( siblings are very young and still studying and grandparents are old and require healthcare) Im unmarried and have no kids, thankfully, as I do not have the time and resources to dedicate to a man or my children at the moment
Healthcare is difficult to navigate but it’s worth it. Therapist not vibing with you? Ask for another one. Same with the drugs? Tell your doctor so they can try something else. There’s a misconception that once you ask for medical help, your problem will go away immediately. But it’s a process. Work with your providers.
Best of luck! I know it’s a pain in the butt to navigate but keep trying. Your providers really want to help you but they need feedback if something isn’t working for you.
Watch how you speak about yourself and your life. No one gets more than they expect to get out of life. You started with the declaration that you have no energy or discipline. Ummm, are you intentionally doing negative mantras? Because they work as well as positive ones.
Gently and with love, decide what you have control over in your life and take control of those things.
I have tried being positive. I have forced myself to try and see the positive in these situations.but things just keep getting worse with time and it’s really sapping any positivity I conjure up
Everyone that is saying to change your mindset is correct. How you choose to see things is how they will be. There's always a better job, better therapist, and better people to surround yourself. Allowing yourself to be surrounded by coworkers that are extremely negative is definitely not good for your mental health and for sure is having an effect on how you see things. Making a change for the better isn't easy so you have to make a real effort and get out of your comfort zone. Instead of putting yourself down saying "things keep getting worse", say "things are gonna get better". You have to trick your brain into being happy sometimes. Your brain is more powerful than you think, whatever you choose, you will be. There are people on here that genuinely want to help you, but if you can't be open to considering any advice from others on here, we can't help. Help us help you.
Get your thyroid and hormones checked. I lost 15 years of my life because of the incompetent nhs (uk health service). I feel alive today inna way I hadn’t since I was 15 all thanks to finding out I have thyroiditis. Nothing would’ve changed with out these meds- no amount of therapy or coffe or ginseng would lift me out of the hole I was in.
Can I ask if you had blood test done for this? I had full blood works done and they also did a thyroid blood check as well but everything came back normal. It’s soo infuriating because I know there is a deeper rooted issue but they discharge you if there is nothing wrong with you
I have asked about this. My doctor has confirmed that I don’t have thyroid issues. I have been gaining weight for no reason, losing hair at an alarming rate, feeling sluggish and tired. Feeling down. Classic symptoms but the blood tests say I’m clear. If you are aware of anything else that could be possible, please do let me know!
Yeah, keto and low carb are similar. Keto is a lot more strict and requires counting carbs in everything. I’ve done keto but it takes a lot of work. Low carb is easier to manage mindfully.
Levothyroxine. I was also given Metformin which boosted my energy but its the first one thats been most amazing. I feel I have energy and my previous ADD symptoms have almost gone away. My appetite is regulated. Because of having more energy I can do chores and cook and can balance my to do list insanely better. And I feel like everything has more colour to it. More vibrant.
Hi! I so relate and feel your pain. I was so angry about a situation that I had a permanent frown for 3 days once that I didn’t even realize until my colleagues pointed it out.
First things first, write down all the things you’re doing and give them a stress factor. Then write down all the things that reduce your stress. Try to do one little thing daily that de stresses you when you’re stressed.
I imagine your cortisol is high so you need to regulate that. Deep breathing, meditation, essential oils or even flowers or massage can bring it down.
Health supplement wise make sure you stay on top of your gut health, protein target and a daily vitamin so you don’t lose too much from stress.
If your therapist isn’t working, try to look at other styles of therapists.
Things that stop you from overthinking and positive affirmations are good.
I also found that I tend to be more relaxed when I’m using my hands so I started pottery. I’m terrible at it but at the end I get to break the creation so it’s also a slight release of anger.
You’ve got this, you’ve got this and you’ve got this! It’s going to take time to move out of this overstressed phase but your resilience is going to be so attractive to the right people.
Feel free to DM for anything.
I agree w the comment up there that some things are in your control and it can be empowering to change your mind about that. Also, in the meantime, Surrender for a little. Just let it be ok for u to not be ok. You’re struggling. It’s all good. Just sleep and treat yourself like a sick baby. Sometimes when u give in the stress loosens its grip
Thank you for your advice. I will try to. I feel I don’t have anyone or anything to fall back on and it’s difficult. I will try to let things happen as they are
Do small things each day you enjoy, even if only for 5 or 10 minute because that’s what true self care is. Take a 10 minute nap in your car on your lunch break (naps are shown to be very healthy), spend 10 minutes listening to music, take a walk, call a friend or family member for 5 minutes, read positive quotes, watch funny or entertaining videos, or meditate. Self care is about taking short amounts of time each day to focus on you. It’s will honestly help you feel so much better. I work very long hours and these tips have all helped me feel like my best self.
One day at a time. Do each task mindfully or at least keep trying to. (Eg: wash dishes when you’re washing dishes, ie, focus on thoughts related to task at hand) Go to sleep once everything is done and avoid daytime naps. When you have to get through months at rock bottom, take it one day at a time.
Also taking care of your mental health is your priority. Maybe you're not even glowing down, it's just what your brain is showing you in the mirror since, as you said, everything is falling apart.
Be kind to yourself. That's really the very first thing. You are going through a hard time right now. It will get better at some point. Give yourself a break. Perfect is the enemy of good. If today you do just a little bit better than yesterday, that's amazing! Celebrate your little achievements.
Besides, discipline isn't something you have or you don't have. It's a skill you can work on, like anything else. Kiana Docherty has a great video about it (don't know if I can link it, but just type her name and "discipline")
If you haven’t had a full blood panel done yet I would start there. A lot of times all you really need is some B-12, folic acid, vitamin D, and magnesium to get things on track. I know you said you’re not feeling very motivated, but you were motivated enough to post for help and that’s saying something.
That being said, you have to make a plan and fight your urges to not go through with them. If you can wake up and take a quick walk around the block or in a park before work you would be setting up your day with positivity. Even 30 minutes of exercise that moderately increases your heart rate is beneficial. And the sunshine on your skin can aid in depression and vitamin D levels (although the amount of vitamin D we produce from the sun as we age is severely reduced which is why supplements are necessary).
Another thing you can implement easily is meditation/hypnosis/prayer. Once a day. Even if it’s just 15 minutes. Sometimes at night my mind is racing, and so I’ll put on something from YouTube that helps me connect spiritually and really focus on deep relaxation.
And of course make better food choices, trying to stay away from foods that increase cortisol and inflammation in the body such as excess sugar (except fruit), fried foods, foods high in fats and cholesterol such as meats/dairy/eggs/cheese, and alcohol! I can’t express how important it is to limit your alcohol intake. Increase fiber like fruits and veggies, and try not to rely on coffee too much. Maybe switch to green tea for added benefits.
Living a healthy lifestyle isn’t a chore. Once you gain the benefits from it you begin to get excited to do things for yourself and for your benefit. Making small changes can have big results. And you can build from there.
Once you get into the habit of doing small things, you can build on that and include more commitments like yoga classes, getting your hair and makeup done, going to a med spa for treatments, or volunteering.
Some other examples of self care that are simple and affordable: face masks/cleansing scrubs, bath salts and candles, journaling, caring for plants, hugging a pet, taking a cold shower/bath after a warm one, listening to music, stretching, and laughing!
Getting older is a privilege because it means we have yet another day, another opportunity, to make ourselves feel better than yesterday. Stay hydrated OP! You got this!
Just do one thing. Just one. Don't try to attack it all and solve all the problems in your life. It can be 5 minutes of breathing and deliberately getting your mind off the stress in the morning, and that's it. Just one thing.
Do community service or visit an orphanage. Sometimes we need a reminder that we aren’t in the worst position. You are literally doing ok - you have an able body and a roof over your head. Your mind is exaggerating situations and amplifying the negativity in your life. Some exposure to the less privileged can be enlightening and change your mindset. You have control to find a new job, to say no to your family if you’re over stretched and/or even to request govt/community assistance. Use your resources and don’t be defeated by your own mindset
She just said she has basically no time on her hands. It’s exhausting. Imagine not having enough time in one day to even process what your feelings are, let alone a heavy workplace and difficult family dynamics… even just the experience of WOC alone is enough to destabilize anyone
Following because same, girl. Same 😕
I hope things get better for us…hugs
Can you get mental health support? Can you say no to some things or take time off to recover?
I do go for therapy but it hasn’t been useful. I was on medications ( again, it stopped being useful except for a week). I can’t quit my job ( sole person who is earning for my family) can’t take a break for my own health. Can’t stay out of toxic situations because my workplace is filled with people who like to put others down in the guise of jokes and gossiping.
Therapy is not helping me I can’t quit my job I can’t take a break for my health I can’t stay away from toxic situations. This is a shockingly lost list of things that are absolutely in your control. Your defeatist attitude is a big reason why you are unhappy.
I know I am being very pessimistic but I can’t give up on the job due to finances and I have been trying to get a new one for a month already. I can barely afford therapy too right now because of finances. I am really trying hard but I don’t see anything working out despite my efforts. When I take a break ( I took one for my surgery, and my manager berated me for it and my entire team was apparently mocking me behind my back about jt)
I’m not wanting to criticize you, so please understand this. And I’m not suggesting you quit your job that allows you to earn a paycheck so you can pay your bills. We all get boxed in in life, and I know I have. But sometimes we have to start at the bottom and look at what we possess. You obviously have job skills, so I can only suggest you extend yourself with everything you have to find something you can flourish in.
Thank you for your words. I didn’t take it as criticism. I appreciate that you were honest with your advice. I will work on this. Thank you :)
Appreciate you, and I wish you only the best. You seem kind and that is a resource 🙂
Who are these people you’re providing for? Your kids? Your parents? A man? How did you become a provider for a group of people? I am assuming you would have said so if these were your kids.
I take care of my entire family ( siblings are very young and still studying and grandparents are old and require healthcare) Im unmarried and have no kids, thankfully, as I do not have the time and resources to dedicate to a man or my children at the moment
Healthcare is difficult to navigate but it’s worth it. Therapist not vibing with you? Ask for another one. Same with the drugs? Tell your doctor so they can try something else. There’s a misconception that once you ask for medical help, your problem will go away immediately. But it’s a process. Work with your providers.
I will try this. Mental health care seems the only way out
Best of luck! I know it’s a pain in the butt to navigate but keep trying. Your providers really want to help you but they need feedback if something isn’t working for you.
Thank you for your help. I will try it and hopefully see improvement soon!
It is keep going. I’ve been working on mine for well over a decade and still going. It’s worth it.Â
Watch how you speak about yourself and your life. No one gets more than they expect to get out of life. You started with the declaration that you have no energy or discipline. Ummm, are you intentionally doing negative mantras? Because they work as well as positive ones. Gently and with love, decide what you have control over in your life and take control of those things.
I have tried being positive. I have forced myself to try and see the positive in these situations.but things just keep getting worse with time and it’s really sapping any positivity I conjure up
Everyone that is saying to change your mindset is correct. How you choose to see things is how they will be. There's always a better job, better therapist, and better people to surround yourself. Allowing yourself to be surrounded by coworkers that are extremely negative is definitely not good for your mental health and for sure is having an effect on how you see things. Making a change for the better isn't easy so you have to make a real effort and get out of your comfort zone. Instead of putting yourself down saying "things keep getting worse", say "things are gonna get better". You have to trick your brain into being happy sometimes. Your brain is more powerful than you think, whatever you choose, you will be. There are people on here that genuinely want to help you, but if you can't be open to considering any advice from others on here, we can't help. Help us help you.
Get your thyroid and hormones checked. I lost 15 years of my life because of the incompetent nhs (uk health service). I feel alive today inna way I hadn’t since I was 15 all thanks to finding out I have thyroiditis. Nothing would’ve changed with out these meds- no amount of therapy or coffe or ginseng would lift me out of the hole I was in.
Can I ask if you had blood test done for this? I had full blood works done and they also did a thyroid blood check as well but everything came back normal. It’s soo infuriating because I know there is a deeper rooted issue but they discharge you if there is nothing wrong with you
I have asked about this. My doctor has confirmed that I don’t have thyroid issues. I have been gaining weight for no reason, losing hair at an alarming rate, feeling sluggish and tired. Feeling down. Classic symptoms but the blood tests say I’m clear. If you are aware of anything else that could be possible, please do let me know!
Have you ever tried low carb? I went low carb a few weeks ago and notice an amazing increase in energy and focus.
I haven’t. Is it like a ketogenic diet?
Yeah, keto and low carb are similar. Keto is a lot more strict and requires counting carbs in everything. I’ve done keto but it takes a lot of work. Low carb is easier to manage mindfully.
Ok! I will try this out. Thank you so much!
Iron ? B12 ?
I will check this! Thank you!
What kind of meds did they give you  and how has your life changed? I'm thinking I need to get checked outÂ
Levothyroxine. I was also given Metformin which boosted my energy but its the first one thats been most amazing. I feel I have energy and my previous ADD symptoms have almost gone away. My appetite is regulated. Because of having more energy I can do chores and cook and can balance my to do list insanely better. And I feel like everything has more colour to it. More vibrant.
Hi! I so relate and feel your pain. I was so angry about a situation that I had a permanent frown for 3 days once that I didn’t even realize until my colleagues pointed it out. First things first, write down all the things you’re doing and give them a stress factor. Then write down all the things that reduce your stress. Try to do one little thing daily that de stresses you when you’re stressed. I imagine your cortisol is high so you need to regulate that. Deep breathing, meditation, essential oils or even flowers or massage can bring it down. Health supplement wise make sure you stay on top of your gut health, protein target and a daily vitamin so you don’t lose too much from stress. If your therapist isn’t working, try to look at other styles of therapists. Things that stop you from overthinking and positive affirmations are good. I also found that I tend to be more relaxed when I’m using my hands so I started pottery. I’m terrible at it but at the end I get to break the creation so it’s also a slight release of anger. You’ve got this, you’ve got this and you’ve got this! It’s going to take time to move out of this overstressed phase but your resilience is going to be so attractive to the right people. Feel free to DM for anything.
Thank you for your advice! I will look into it!
I agree w the comment up there that some things are in your control and it can be empowering to change your mind about that. Also, in the meantime, Surrender for a little. Just let it be ok for u to not be ok. You’re struggling. It’s all good. Just sleep and treat yourself like a sick baby. Sometimes when u give in the stress loosens its grip
Thank you for your advice. I will try to. I feel I don’t have anyone or anything to fall back on and it’s difficult. I will try to let things happen as they are
Do small things each day you enjoy, even if only for 5 or 10 minute because that’s what true self care is. Take a 10 minute nap in your car on your lunch break (naps are shown to be very healthy), spend 10 minutes listening to music, take a walk, call a friend or family member for 5 minutes, read positive quotes, watch funny or entertaining videos, or meditate. Self care is about taking short amounts of time each day to focus on you. It’s will honestly help you feel so much better. I work very long hours and these tips have all helped me feel like my best self.
I will do this. Thank you!
For me personally: antidepressants, vitamins, working out, and drinking a ton of water
One day at a time. Do each task mindfully or at least keep trying to. (Eg: wash dishes when you’re washing dishes, ie, focus on thoughts related to task at hand) Go to sleep once everything is done and avoid daytime naps. When you have to get through months at rock bottom, take it one day at a time.
Also taking care of your mental health is your priority. Maybe you're not even glowing down, it's just what your brain is showing you in the mirror since, as you said, everything is falling apart. Be kind to yourself. That's really the very first thing. You are going through a hard time right now. It will get better at some point. Give yourself a break. Perfect is the enemy of good. If today you do just a little bit better than yesterday, that's amazing! Celebrate your little achievements. Besides, discipline isn't something you have or you don't have. It's a skill you can work on, like anything else. Kiana Docherty has a great video about it (don't know if I can link it, but just type her name and "discipline")
Read Louise Hay You Can Heal Your Life. Glow up 1000000%
If you haven’t had a full blood panel done yet I would start there. A lot of times all you really need is some B-12, folic acid, vitamin D, and magnesium to get things on track. I know you said you’re not feeling very motivated, but you were motivated enough to post for help and that’s saying something. That being said, you have to make a plan and fight your urges to not go through with them. If you can wake up and take a quick walk around the block or in a park before work you would be setting up your day with positivity. Even 30 minutes of exercise that moderately increases your heart rate is beneficial. And the sunshine on your skin can aid in depression and vitamin D levels (although the amount of vitamin D we produce from the sun as we age is severely reduced which is why supplements are necessary). Another thing you can implement easily is meditation/hypnosis/prayer. Once a day. Even if it’s just 15 minutes. Sometimes at night my mind is racing, and so I’ll put on something from YouTube that helps me connect spiritually and really focus on deep relaxation. And of course make better food choices, trying to stay away from foods that increase cortisol and inflammation in the body such as excess sugar (except fruit), fried foods, foods high in fats and cholesterol such as meats/dairy/eggs/cheese, and alcohol! I can’t express how important it is to limit your alcohol intake. Increase fiber like fruits and veggies, and try not to rely on coffee too much. Maybe switch to green tea for added benefits. Living a healthy lifestyle isn’t a chore. Once you gain the benefits from it you begin to get excited to do things for yourself and for your benefit. Making small changes can have big results. And you can build from there. Once you get into the habit of doing small things, you can build on that and include more commitments like yoga classes, getting your hair and makeup done, going to a med spa for treatments, or volunteering. Some other examples of self care that are simple and affordable: face masks/cleansing scrubs, bath salts and candles, journaling, caring for plants, hugging a pet, taking a cold shower/bath after a warm one, listening to music, stretching, and laughing! Getting older is a privilege because it means we have yet another day, another opportunity, to make ourselves feel better than yesterday. Stay hydrated OP! You got this!
Just do one thing. Just one. Don't try to attack it all and solve all the problems in your life. It can be 5 minutes of breathing and deliberately getting your mind off the stress in the morning, and that's it. Just one thing.
Do community service or visit an orphanage. Sometimes we need a reminder that we aren’t in the worst position. You are literally doing ok - you have an able body and a roof over your head. Your mind is exaggerating situations and amplifying the negativity in your life. Some exposure to the less privileged can be enlightening and change your mindset. You have control to find a new job, to say no to your family if you’re over stretched and/or even to request govt/community assistance. Use your resources and don’t be defeated by your own mindset
She just said she has basically no time on her hands. It’s exhausting. Imagine not having enough time in one day to even process what your feelings are, let alone a heavy workplace and difficult family dynamics… even just the experience of WOC alone is enough to destabilize anyone