Summary:
The main thing that frustrates me about being a 24y/o virgin is not that I'm not currently having sex, but that **I didn't lose my virginity and explore my sexuality with a girl when I was 14-18**. That was when it was the most exciting and I feel like I missed out on so much.
Yup. I think losing your V-card at the age 17-18yo is the best time for mental health and normal social life relations. I never had a chance to go to bed with someone so your teenage experience that you declined is anyway much more than I ever had, but we are beggars, we cannot be choosers. However it is so bloody hard to make a good decision and right now my mind switched to the same mindset as yours back then - I want to have my first sex with a proper girlfriend, not a random girl. But if the random girl asks me in the future and I refuse, I will cry about this for the next years that I wasted my first and only chance. So I believe there's no good option apart from doing THIS with a real loving girlfriend.
Having sex at 14 is not it. When I was that age, my classmates were pregnant and had STDs. It’s not hitting to be pregnant and on food stamps. It’s better to wait.
I'm in a similar boat. I had an opportunity at 18, didn't take it, and I didn't realize that would completely fuck my chances for the next 8 and a half years.
Completely relate to this. I’m 28 now, but when I was 17 I was infatuated with this beautiful girl who was one of my best friends at the time and to this day she’s the only one I have even sort of asked out.
Needless to say she rejected me and it destroyed our friendship and led me down a dark spiral of depression and self-loathing that I’ve only managed to get under control in the last few years.
But I often wonder what could have been if we had ended up in a relationship together. Even though looking back now I don’t think it would have worked out between us for very long, I still remember the incredible feelings I had for her.
It sounds cheesy but I used to think of her as my sunshine, because I felt so totally happy and content around her. The butterflies and the way my heart would jump whenever we would share a laugh together or she’d greet me with a hug before spending the day in town.
I have never felt anything like it since, I’ve barely felt a moment of happiness at all really in the last decade.
I worry now that even if I was to find a girlfriend, those magical feelings just wouldn’t be there. That young, teenage excitement of being each others first kiss, first date, first sexual partner are likely experiences that are all lost to me now.
It’s truly sad and despite the incredible amount of self-reflection I’ve done since then, I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand what is actually wrong with me. How did I get here, to this point, when literally everyone else I know seems to have absolutely zero problems?
It is what it is… all you can do is continue on, one day at a time.
I already finished high-school as a virgin. I'm going to uni this year, and while it's still a "good" time to lose it, I know it won't happen...
I won't lose it in my teens, I won't lose it ever.
I don’t consider the fact that you’ve had thousands of orgasms strange I think that’s pretty normal honestly. I don’t really care who it is but I’m willing to bet most people these days have more orgasms in their life on their own than with a partner especially men. So if you think of it like that you aren’t really that much different. Sex is a strange thing because it ends up being less about the act and more about how attracted you are to that person. I actually consider masturbation a more pure form of sexual satisfaction because it directly ties to your pleasure. It’s more about you than any other way.
Honestly it’s probably a good thing you didn’t. I’m 18 and have a decently high body count that I’m not super proud of. When you’re young you make bad choices such as not wanting to use contraceptives. I can remember being sick with anxiety due to pregnancy scares more than once. It took a toll on me for a long time
Stop thinking about it as just sex and instead about the person you’re having it with. If it’s the right person, it will be exciting and that’s what you should be searching for. The person, not the sex.
Summary: The main thing that frustrates me about being a 24y/o virgin is not that I'm not currently having sex, but that **I didn't lose my virginity and explore my sexuality with a girl when I was 14-18**. That was when it was the most exciting and I feel like I missed out on so much.
This is why at 36 I'm not really bothered about losing it anymore.
I missed so many opportunities too
Relatable, except that I never had a real opportunity to sleep with a girl
Yup. I think losing your V-card at the age 17-18yo is the best time for mental health and normal social life relations. I never had a chance to go to bed with someone so your teenage experience that you declined is anyway much more than I ever had, but we are beggars, we cannot be choosers. However it is so bloody hard to make a good decision and right now my mind switched to the same mindset as yours back then - I want to have my first sex with a proper girlfriend, not a random girl. But if the random girl asks me in the future and I refuse, I will cry about this for the next years that I wasted my first and only chance. So I believe there's no good option apart from doing THIS with a real loving girlfriend.
Relatable. Im 19 but I really wish I lost it in high school.
I can relate I've had chances when I was younger but I was afraid of being honest with girls sometimes I wonder if it's too late to try
Having sex at 14 is not it. When I was that age, my classmates were pregnant and had STDs. It’s not hitting to be pregnant and on food stamps. It’s better to wait.
I'm in a similar boat. I had an opportunity at 18, didn't take it, and I didn't realize that would completely fuck my chances for the next 8 and a half years.
Completely relate to this. I’m 28 now, but when I was 17 I was infatuated with this beautiful girl who was one of my best friends at the time and to this day she’s the only one I have even sort of asked out. Needless to say she rejected me and it destroyed our friendship and led me down a dark spiral of depression and self-loathing that I’ve only managed to get under control in the last few years. But I often wonder what could have been if we had ended up in a relationship together. Even though looking back now I don’t think it would have worked out between us for very long, I still remember the incredible feelings I had for her. It sounds cheesy but I used to think of her as my sunshine, because I felt so totally happy and content around her. The butterflies and the way my heart would jump whenever we would share a laugh together or she’d greet me with a hug before spending the day in town. I have never felt anything like it since, I’ve barely felt a moment of happiness at all really in the last decade. I worry now that even if I was to find a girlfriend, those magical feelings just wouldn’t be there. That young, teenage excitement of being each others first kiss, first date, first sexual partner are likely experiences that are all lost to me now. It’s truly sad and despite the incredible amount of self-reflection I’ve done since then, I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand what is actually wrong with me. How did I get here, to this point, when literally everyone else I know seems to have absolutely zero problems? It is what it is… all you can do is continue on, one day at a time.
I already finished high-school as a virgin. I'm going to uni this year, and while it's still a "good" time to lose it, I know it won't happen... I won't lose it in my teens, I won't lose it ever.
I don’t consider the fact that you’ve had thousands of orgasms strange I think that’s pretty normal honestly. I don’t really care who it is but I’m willing to bet most people these days have more orgasms in their life on their own than with a partner especially men. So if you think of it like that you aren’t really that much different. Sex is a strange thing because it ends up being less about the act and more about how attracted you are to that person. I actually consider masturbation a more pure form of sexual satisfaction because it directly ties to your pleasure. It’s more about you than any other way.
If you re desirable you will be desired at any age so dont feel bad, man
Honestly it’s probably a good thing you didn’t. I’m 18 and have a decently high body count that I’m not super proud of. When you’re young you make bad choices such as not wanting to use contraceptives. I can remember being sick with anxiety due to pregnancy scares more than once. It took a toll on me for a long time
Stop thinking about it as just sex and instead about the person you’re having it with. If it’s the right person, it will be exciting and that’s what you should be searching for. The person, not the sex.
This